I don’t need to admit my weakness to enemies. I am independent by default. I am open to folks and willing to trust, but I have to see the proof in the pudding first. That’s being smart and not an idiot.
Thank you, Tom. This is 100% right on an 8. Swearing and hidden tears and all. Yours truly with gratitude, 8w7 P.S. 8s are masters of hiding our most tender and selfless hearts from all of the hearts on the Enneagram. When we give in a large sense of giving, we don't expect anything in return. When we are angry, it is because our hearts hurt. The Enneagram is the most comprehensive system to understand the depth of all human types. I have been interested in the Enneagram since Richard Rohr's lectures. I believe that the Enneagram is going to change the world, and when it gets the momentum it deserves, you will be leading it because your format is the most playful, very kind, but not trivial. I have been listening to you from the beginning, and along the way, I have gained a deeper understanding of the nature of each number and all of the numbers' interactions with each other. Nothing else ever assisted me better to work on my own weak points, to teach me a true compassion and patience for all that is different from what I value, cherish and prefer. Thank you for being, and please, never give up on spreading this wisdom.
Sometimes I struggle with your videos on 8’s. I am 99.9% sure that I am an eight, but I’ve never been a bull in a China shop. I hate cussing! When I was younger, I never was good at laughing at myself, or other people laughing at me. I cannot stand dishonesty! I’m willing to take over if things aren’t being done right but I don’t usually want too. I can hear you from Tennessee thinking yeah done right your way! Lol. I guess I lean on my nine wing more than I realized.🤷♀️
The growth of your Soul is in evolution. At one period of your life you could be an unhealthy 8, shouting, controlling and and cursing people that oppose you. In a later part of your life you could have evolved to an average 8 and ultimately to a healthy 8 resulting in you having a most balanced outlook and helpful behavior to other people. For example, I cannot remember having been an unhealthy 5 in this life time, but I can relate to the time when I had been an average 5, feeling very inept, nervous and confused but having worked on myself I have evolved into a very healthy and balanced 5 and so much more 🙏
Hey! If you are struggling, I wonder because: If you don't laugh at other people or yourself, take it seriously, you cannot stand dishonestly, and like "being done right" could you be a 1...?
Dear Rhonda. Have you read about the instincts in each type? Your primary instinct is either social, sexual and self preserving. In the type 8 the counter type is the social instinct and it makes you quite different from the other type 8s. This type is not a bull in a China shop.
My daughter turned me onto onto your channel!!! She took some kind of class told me I was a type 8! And according to everything I have seen on your channel I'd say she's right!!! I'm the guy no one likes but I'm the first one they call when there's a problem!!!
I have no problem sharing my “weaknesses” like brain surgery and difficult things I’ve faced, but being vulnerable about it is hard and not something I easily show. I have the 7 wing so everything hard turns into a positive motivating factors and that’s how I choose to represent myself although actually accepting in some trauma and feeling it accurately could be a good thing for me! I was laughing and relating to your example of Grace as a child and her interactions with friends…that was exactly me, telling everyone how to play and interact accordingly and not understanding it as me being bossy or domineering. And I’d love to run off to a horse farm from time to time and self isolate …that can have its benefits, if in balance …I’m a somewhat co-dependent 8/7 wing married to a 1 ..I’ve done a lot of enneagram self work and reflection…I enjoy your videos. Love to see more on social, self pres and one on one 8 types. I’m still figuring out my stack but I think I know.
Thank you very much for such a good video! Enneagram videos, such as Type 8, are often rated positively for providing a deeper understanding of personal characteristics and how they can influence a person's life. Often the most positive point of these videos is that they offer insights that can lead to personal growth and greater self-awareness.
As a 2w3 married to an 8w9 for over 20 years, I think this video is spot on! 🤩 A lot of these things we have worked on over the years and he leans more into his soft side now and can be one of the kindest human beings.
It was all laughter until 8:25 when I realized where I went wrong with my daughter. I sent this to her and apologized (again) for where I went wrong. It's been water works mixed with laughter for the remainder of the video. I've tried to be vulnerable. I give it 2 out of 10 stars, except with my 4 close friends, my brother and daughter. Very 8 of me, I'm sure. 😂😂
I’m perfectly fine to share my experiences after I’ve seen how it was turned for good and I can use my weakness to help you gain strength. My husband calls it my fake vulnerability. It took a long time for him to convince me I wasn’t actually being vulnerable. My pastor is also a 7 and both you and him have an uncanny way of making me see myself without being mad at you. It’s opened up deep conversations with my type 5 husband. Thank you 🎉
I have some feedback about the profanity part. Many of us eight's use profanity because we can see right through something and we will emphasize our strength through the language. For instance, instead of saying"I disagree" on some topic that we feel is important, many of us eights would rather say "that's f*#king bullshit." It part of our attachment to anger and believe it or not, I find it quite emotionally healthy especially when used in the context of humor. To compare us to a Christian teenager using foul language and feeling their programmed guilt about it is two separate topics.
Great response. That said, I think Dr. Tom was distinguishing that, as someone who's not an 8, foul language wasn't a necessary tool for him. In his particular example of swearing, young Tom wasn't swearing to effect change or to call out disrespect. Instead, his teenaged example portrayed how he was just 'shooting the breeze' using foul language. I didn't interpret that he was moralizing his disposition toward swearing onto 8s or any other type.
The curse words thing for an 8 is so natural like blinking you don't even realize your doing it or like torrets syndrome lol. We don't curse on purpose it's like breathing. I've spent a lot of years holding in the curse words but finally accepted this aspect and trust on God's forgiveness and grace. I still try to hold it back but alot of times just let it flow depending on the context...ha
I laughed out loud when you mentioned that your daughter would create games and scenarios with her friends, explain what was going to happen and how it would go, and assign each person a job or role. This was me at 8 years old, as an 8. I would create productions and have my friends act them out. So funny!
All my best friends are 7s, have 7 wings or look like 7s so I agree. I love their positivity and how they bring out my 7 wing. I need adventure and fun!
SP8 here. I went the route of moving to the middle of nowhere. DO NOT KNOCK IT UNTIL YOU TRY IT FELLOW 8s!!!!!! The trick is to marry a woman cool enough to actually let you do it :)
Even if I choose to be vulnerable, I can't unsee too many Komodo dragons around me in my society, in my work place etc., and there are too many vulnerable little goats that need to be saved😅
Thank u so much dr tom for this rich content, which make me take into consideration the most thing i am suck at it "asking for help or when to do it" i knew i really need to develop this aspect-u confirmed this to me, so thank u💛
I really appreciate the information we get from these channels about 8s but I hate that everyone feels the need to give us unwarranted advice on what we should be or shouldn't be. It's annoying.
That's the 8 :D -- especially if the people on the other side (feel like they are teaming up on you) share the same advice, it might be something to listen to. After-all, having someone give you unsolicited advice, say, sitting at a table, are the LOWEST stakes you can possible have in life, and I've seen 8's run away, or lash out, or challenge and push it on other people. That's the 8.
Is it possible to be an 8w7 with some 9 traits? I'm very hard charging, but I need to have the quite time because at the root of it all, I'm an INTJ and need the me time to recharge.
I find your videos interesting and educating, but I feel that you miss out on the countertype in each type - the social type in the type 8 is very different from the general description of the type 8.
I don't think he had an Enneagram type. Like Adam and Eve (before the Fall) perfect humans. The Enneagram shows us how we are broken and is rooted in a dominant "sin." Jesus had no sin.
Funny how this comments section is filled with challenges to the validity of the content. Please grow some humility people. This is coming from an 8 who is pissed off by both the video and the comments 😂
