Enneagram Types 4 and 8 in a Relationship Explained

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Here's a glimpse into what a relationship looks like between a Type 4 Individualist and a Type 8 Challenger.
We'll talk about what these types have in common, what specifically attracts each type to each other, what conflict looks like between them, and then conclude with some potentially helpful advice based on the enneagram theories discussed throughout the episode. DISCLAIMER: This is a general overview that cannot cover the complexity of each subtype & variation (e.g. a self-pres 8w7 with a social 4w3 could be very different than some of these general descriptions), nor can I cover how the varying degrees of each specific couple's mental/emotional health would impact so many of these patterns. So with that disclaimer out of the way, please feel free to share how these patterns do or don't play out in your personal life, all while keeping any combative disagreements to a minimum :) Thank you, and enjoy!
0:00 Shared Traits
3:37 Four's Attraction to Eight
5:45 Eight's Attraction to Four
8:27 Conflict
11:00 Advice
13:32 Rating
💪 Type Eight Complete Guide
▶ • Enneagram Type 8s Expl...
💙 Type Eight Relationships Overview
▶ • Relationships with Enn...
🧑‍🎨 Type Four Complete Guide
▶ • Enneagram Type 4s Expl...
💜 Type Four Relationships Overview
▶ • Relationships with Enn...
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#enneagram #relationships #enneagram8 #enneagram4 #selfawareness #relationshipadvice #selfhelp #spiritualgrowth #personalitytypes #personality #enneagramtypes #love #dating #marriage #relationshipgoals #relationshipsuccess #enneagram4w5 #enneagram4w6 #enneagram8w9 #enneagram8w7 #challenger #strength #intensity #introvert #extrovert #relationships #love #intimacy #marriage #boundaries #brenebrown #intelligence #individual #artist #creativity
-Written by Colton Simmons, but with all due credit to the Don Riso & Russ Hudson of the Enneagram Institute for their many books that informed the majority of the content contained in this video, as well as Richard Rohr, Helen Palmer, Claudio Naranjo, Oscar Ichazo, and the many other major enneagram pioneers!

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27 июн 2024

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Комментарии : 46

@BethanyMcCoy-gq5sm 3 месяца назад

As a sexual 4 wing 5 married to a self pres 8 wing 9 I've been impatiently waiting for this one. Mutual respect is super important, as well as giving lots of autonomy and space, because neither likes feeling controlled. I can say that I've never felt so seen, understood, and chosen. When both are fully in, this pairing can feel like a safe solid space where all pieces of each of you are fully seen,accepted, understood, and protected. But you have to be willing to consistently choose each other, and choose to be calm, gentle, and stay away from the pain points of the other when arguing.

@YouveGotaType 3 месяца назад

Thanks for sharing 🙏

@Doopydoopydoo 3 месяца назад

I was thinking an sx4 and sp8 would be an excellent couple!!

@darlinqq_ 3 месяца назад

@@Doopydoopydoo same here especially if the four is sx/sp and 8 is sp/sx

@KylieEldridge 28 дней назад

Type 4w5 w my 8w9. You hit the nail on the head. I love my 8 so much. He is literally like my teddy (grizzly) bear. I have never felt truly heard and understood before in my life until I met him. We are absolutely in our own little world together, and yet, still both want and remain our individuality 💗

@YouveGotaType 21 день назад

Thanks for sharing! Glad it was an accurate watch.

@angelicamartinezr.8965 2 дня назад

Sounds great! 😊 I think that him being 8w9 makes him much more balanced. I find 8w7s intimidating.

@demonxkiller1 2 месяца назад

So I know we shouldn't pick a girlfriend based on an eneagram, but the idea of marrying a type 8 sounds so good ngl.

@YouveGotaType 2 месяца назад

Helpful to know what kinda traits you like tho!

@jubileekitsune 3 месяца назад

I’m a sx4, my past relationships have been sx8s. I’ve been waiting for this video. Both past relationships went down in flames. I can totally relate to everything said in this video. Unfortunately I don’t think I have the energy for another 8 match up.

@YouveGotaType 3 месяца назад

Thanks for sharing 🔥 hope the vids help ya on your next relationship.

@Doopydoopydoo 3 месяца назад

Two reactive types are always pretty spicy! I feel this type of couple would understand each other so deeply. They’re both such passionate types and would sniff out inauthenticity in their partner quickly. Great video!! 😊

@darlinqq_ 3 месяца назад

thank you for sharing I've been looking forward to this video! as an sexual 4w5, I've only had crushes on 8s really and rarely 5s so its finally nice to get some positive outlook on this pairing!

@YouveGotaType 3 месяца назад

Glad to hear it! Also hoping to highlight both a positive outlook and potential problems for each of these combos :)

@CuddleClaw. 2 месяца назад

My son is an 8. I’m a 4. Looking forward to watching this! EDIT: your intro is great, and highly appreciated, thank you for that.

@YouveGotaType 2 месяца назад

My pleasure :)

@twebible 3 месяца назад

Looking forward to your take on the relationship between a 5 and 7. ❤

@YouveGotaType 3 месяца назад

Coming in the not-too-distant future!

@MahasteeMehdizadeh 2 месяца назад

Thank you so much for your information. I am a type eight and was married to a type four And yes, I agree. It can be really good or really bad, one person is unhealthy, then it can be very problematic, that was way too much for me. I’m currently in a relationship with another eight and it may not be as exciting, as I am an 8/7 wing and he is an 8/9 wing but we still have the intensity and a sense of safety that I didn’t have with the 4.

@lady_icarus 3 месяца назад

Omg been waiting for this!!! I’m a 4 that always finds myself in relationships with 8s 🤣🤣🤣 UPDATE: THIS IS SPOT ONNNNNN!!! 🔥 Also, your beard is immaculate!

@YouveGotaType 3 месяца назад

So glad to hear it! And so is my barber haha

@sofiyaserj2553 3 месяца назад

Been waiting for this! So informative and I've never heard of harmonic triad!!! Thank you, the video was so enlightening as to why I'm so attracted to 8 type and repelled by them at the same time🤔

@YouveGotaType 3 месяца назад

🙌

@johnchew93 3 месяца назад

Good stuff! Keep up the good work

@YouveGotaType 3 месяца назад

Thanks!

@Faeriefungus Месяц назад

You’re gonna do four and 5s I’ve been waiting please

@heathermciver5410 3 месяца назад

Completely accurate

@YouveGotaType 3 месяца назад

🙌

@HarryPotter-iz7rw 3 месяца назад

I've been waiting for the episode of type 5 & 1 😖😖😖

@sanufarrita4401 3 месяца назад

Cant wait for 1&5

@YouveGotaType 3 месяца назад

I'm working on it 🙏

@SaraDonahue-yk2di Месяц назад

Was married to an 8 for 12 years, I wasn’t allowed to have feelings and he did whatever he wanted but if the shoe was on the other foot there would have been hell to pay. And there was when I gave him a taste of his own medicine, that’s how the relationship ended.

@austingarrison2208 3 месяца назад

Regarding 14:51, I believe we already have a documentary about this pairing: Phoenix Rising.

@inaany3344 2 месяца назад

You don't want to know how the conflict between 8 and 4 looks like 😅 It sounds like two tigers fighting to death and like the end would never come I am 4w3 sx and i never have fights in my relationships, but with my fiance 8w9 sp it's almost every day, and you described it very accurately. I have to say that one of the problems could be enormous self assurance of 8, to the point that prevents any kind of growth, especially with 4 who can do something because of very different reason than most of people. You described everything in this video pretty well, and i would like to see one day more detailed video on this topic. 8s are big mistery to me and i am still learning about them, your videos are helpful and useful, good job 👌

@YouveGotaType 2 месяца назад

Glad it resonated - albeit in a spicy/fighty way. There's ton more nuance to this coupling indeed. Some day there may be a more expansive series once I get through all the basic overviews for each type combo!