Enneagram Types Getting Offended 

It was spot on for every type...really good formula, to show two active types in each situation. 👏

As a 9w1 I can tell you there are stages. 1. Keep the peace. This is what you describe. 2. Multiple negative interactions can lead to passive aggressive comments. This is a cry for validation. 3. The stress builds until seemingly out of nowhere we erupt in white hot rage... for 3 seconds and then return to "normal".

Yes exactly when my 8w is activated it's game over lol

Same!!

Haha it's painful how accurate this is.😂

Yup

Totally. ouch. Spot on!

Exactly! It's so confusing to even identify if I'm a 4w5 or a 5w4. Sometimes I'm completely detached and other times completely emotional. I don't know if other people are like this, but I don't even understand myself.

@@marin3351 from what you said sounds like you’re a 4w5. Moody and misunderstood 😆

Exactly... I will be reactive first and then begin to question if my reaction was the correct approach

Yes. As an INFP/ 4w5 this is very true for me too

I don't. But i'm a sp/sx 4. I also can have a calm deminor when people are yelling at me, the more mad people get at me, the more entertaining they get

I'm a sp sx 4, too, and I get upset if people don't give me uptake for my emotions. A lot of the time I tend to stuff it down, though. Probably partly because of my subtype and partly because I'm a 459. Got that part of me that wants to logic things away, plus the conflict-phobic part of me.

I’m ok if they don’t get mad, but if they ignore or dismiss me like the person did in that skit- I hate that! Acknowledge 4s, dammit. Lol -Sx4 😂

Oh my god me toooo - I’m only just realizing it over the plentiful opportunities I’ve had to be upset over the last two years. I have to take a deep breath and remind myself that there’s nothing wrong with others choosing to turn away or even *gasp* not care about what seems so obviously upsetting and important to me 🤦🏼‍♀️

thanks for sharing, Lizz!

Same for me 🤣 im a 6 w5

Happy 2021! Venting to a friend (who loves you and listens with kindness) is a great way to deal with hurt. And, in perfect 4 fashion, the appropriate "I am hurt" playlist is ideal.

Yeah that's definitely closer to how I react. I will immediately start doing whatever I can to correct whatever is upset or wrong, especially when it's because of something I did. I feel very bad about letting something be too messy or not what someone needs or wants, and knowing that someone is upset makes me feel nervous about losing them and/or guilty. *But* I do get really sour about it. Sometimes I get sort of passive-aggressive or aggressive without even realizing it... and if someone calls me out on that I will normally deny it as a way to deflect away from admitting my negative emotions to myself. (It's definitely something I'm working on right now.)

I completely agree! (5w4 here)

Oh yeah that is me too! Or if I boil over when no-one else is there, lord help the inanimate objects in my house 😛

THANK YOU 😭

Thanks Leighla! And thanks for sharing your unique perspective when someone offends you.

I actually agree with you. When I was writing it, it felt perfect. But acting it came out softer and sillier than I thought. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I think I secretly just really wanted to do some Shakespeare. But I appreciate your kind words and feedback!!

I have an 8 friend who always uses Shakespearean language when squashing down others arguments online. I thought this was perfect. If you wanna argue with her you better have your Thesaurus out!

Nice to hear an 8 that isn’t totally blind to self

how does the whole enneagram wing work? i have my type but what's the second number for

I don't know....She is a type 3 after all. Us 8 wold put more "passion " into it.....with some colorful words.

I still sleep with plushies. 10/10 experience.

uh.... same .... hahaha

Yes, my 🧸

Yes!!

Same. 5w4, though it's just ON my bed... until I am sick!

it's a mewd. 😂 glad you love them!!

YEEEEESSSSS

🙈💜

Thanks for sharing Dominique!!

Lol, I'm a 4 but you talked about the truth a lot, do you mean everyone should match the 5 perception of the truth or are you too (me as well) part of the problem with biased preconceptions? Is there something that creates cognitive dissonance in you that you think the other is wrong or just emotional and should not be, or you are the sole guardian of truth? I just want to know but realize that mercy is what I need myself to better see and interact with others. But I liked how well expressed your thoughts were and how 5s can rationalize their points.

I love this -- this was such a Five answer. ^_^

You are my spirit animal! I literally just had a lady in line behind me object (INTERject) to my tone, saying it was sort of rude. I walked her back and laid out this is what I said ("if X, I'd like to buy this. If not, I'll just buy other stuff"), but what the cashier did was exactly opposite what I said. I then corrected them by just saying, again, I didn't want the item. The tone police are real!

@@mwatson4970 Lol Thanks :) I often find that people attribute emotional subtext to my words where there is none (especially through text, but even in person if you have a calm, stoic, or matter-of-fact demeanor/delivery), and this is often the source of conflict. Of course, to be fair, I do believe some statements can be "rude," in a general sense, regardless of tone, simply by virtue of word-choice and objective (not subjective or associative) meaning. But the kind of statement you used as an example is not inherently rude. It sounds like the woman was assuming the cashier had some kind of vested emotional interest in whether you bought a particular product lol... and I doubt they work on commission. Actually, now that I think about it, what she did could be easily seen as rude -- causing a scene in public by tone policing a stranger and possibly insulting the cashier, as if they couldn't handle it themselves and needed her to intervene on their behalf. But the other problem there is likely another that I've been astounded by the frequency of: failure to understand basic conditional logic. Even if you lay it out like, "If and only if P, then Q," people will still go, "Okay, Q it is then!" without any understanding of P as a prerequisite, or regard for whether the premise is true. Or worse, you say "If this, then this," and people gasp, "Is that a threat?!" while clutching their pearls. "No, it's a syllogism." 😆

@@marienguessan8520 I remembered writing you a response a long time ago, but it appears either it never posted or I forgot to post it. Fortunately, though, I save almost every draft I write, so I was able to find it: Here's what I believe: No, I am not the sole guardian of truth. There are different kinds of notions one might inherently consider "truth," some more subjective, some more objective. For example, the notion of the existence of God might be considered a sacred truth to some, yet none can really prove it true. It is a deeply personal "truth" and touchy subject. Statements about feelings and preferences (e.g. "Is it true that you love me") are inherently subjective and can be difficult to qualify, nevermind quantify. They can be difficult to really "know," even if you are the subject from which they originate. They are not always directly observable. These are the kinds of "truths" I am careful not to pretend to know or make bold claims about. No one can tell you "your truth," i.e. your feelings. Something like 1+1=2 is another kind of "truth." The measurement of a physical object is a kind of fact (though we could object, "what if the ruler is misprinted?" "What if the measurer was wrong?" "What if it changes over time?" like a block of ice melting or something lol). There are truths dictated by conditional logic (e.g. "if all humans were born with legs, and some things with legs walk, is it necessarily true that all humans walk?"). Some notions of truth we piece together from what our senses tell us (what we directly experience) combined with our understanding of facts. Of course it is true that we can misinterpret sensory input and "facts" can actually be untrue, but the most correct interpretation will stand up to logical scrutiny and prevail against all rebuttals as the most plausible explanation. For example, let's say your neighbor calls the cops on you. You hear them on the phone, there is a recording from the 911 dispatcher, and the police tell you that your neighbor was the one who called. By all reasonable accounts, it would seem factually true that your neighbor called the cops. But let's say you ask them about it and they deny it and play stupid. Maybe they even blame someone else or try to say they were out of town. Would you be offended? Or let's say your husband cheats on you. Sure, there are misunderstandings and paranoid baseless accusations sometimes, but let's say in this case you catch him in the act and it's pretty obvious. At first he gives you nonsensical excuses. Then he eventually admits to it but says it's not his fault. Then he eventually accepts responsibility for his actions, but gets upset when you dare make mention of the fact of what he did, because he doesn't like to be reminded of this simple, yet embarrassing, truth. That's another kind of offense to the truth in which the question is not "whose truth" but whether you want to acknowledge it or not. What I'm talking about is taking responsibility for yourself, your thoughts, your words and your actions. That includes assumptions or preconceptions that turn out to be wrong. We all make mistakes but some of us correct our mistakes as soon as we realize them because we happen to value truth & being right _now/from now on_ more than having been "right" in the past. We, as human beings, all have biases, but some of us aim to become aware of them and work to eliminate them more than others. We are all self-aware on varying levels, and I believe, from my experience and observations over my life, that there's an enormous degree of variance across humanity on this metric. I see everyone as having different values, or sometimes the same values but we prioritize them differently. Some people prioritize their reputation and guard it with their life. Some people value being friendly, likeable and nonconfrontational. Some people value strength, stamina, beauty, power, prestige, or wealth. Some people want to appear infallible. We can argue about from whence these values stem, be it insecurity, fear (of judgement/punishment/retribution/loss/etc), negative reinforcement, positive reinforcement, life experience, social or cultural conditioning or religious beliefs, or whatever the case may be. But at the end of the day we still have different value systems. And to prioritize one value inevitably means to deprioritize another (when they conflict or when time is finite). I happen to value honesty, so I uphold my values by telling the truth (as best I can see it and explain it), even if it doesn't paint me in the best light. I tend to prioritize this over a lot of other things that are also important to me, including being kind and understanding. I've come to realize, at least in the case of my life experiences, that honesty is usually the best policy, and the only way I can live with myself anyway. I fear & loathe hypocrisy. So of course it is natural that I have tacit expectations of others to value honesty like I do. I think we all do this to some extent. It can be reflexively baffling to us why people don't prioritize the things we personally consider important. Over time, you realize people are just different and they have every right to be, so you try to surround yourself with people who share, or at least respect your values. And if people don't like that I expect honesty, they are free to leave my life. This is, I've found, actually one of the best ways to avoid cognitive dissonance; to ensure your actions and boundaries align with your values (and be honest with yourself & others about what you are actually valuing). I'm a 5w4 for whatever it's worth. And a Ti dom. I also think I have a 1-wing twice in my tritype. So perhaps that explains some of my obsession with "truth" and "rightness" lol Good questions, btw. I would expect no less from a 4 :)

😭😭💛

hahaha these are perfect!!!

My husband is a 4 too!

I guess I do stay optimistic- but you really don’t want to be a repeat offender to this 7...

You rock! That's all I came to say.

Omg same! I always turn things to positives, especially when people criticise me. When I have legitimately done something wrong I admit that and apologise as soon as I realise though

Ones are also called "the improvers" so that makes sense! Thanks for sharing!

1s also STRESS to 4s, or carry on unhealthy habits of a 4 under stress. Haha!

thank you!!

Glad you enjoyed it!

🤣

Absolutely!

Haaahaaaa same. I am a 2w3

amen!

You're so welcome!

hehe 🛋

Glad you like them!

thank you Ram!!

that makes sense!

Thanks Hillary!

Thanks for sharing!! Can you give an example circumstance of how you might react as a 7?

@@AbbeyHowe tough, but great question! I read that we're a bit on the rebellious side, so for me that shows in different ways depending on my relationship with the other person. Husband or sibling? I'll probably be confrontational and throw it back in their face, sometimes playfully, sometimes not. Friend? Probably a bit defensive but in a joking way. In the workplace? Will either try to explain my viewpoint, laugh it off, or just ignore them (but will probably silently resent them...). Stranger? Say nothing, be silently annoyed. I've always envied 8s for being able to defend themselves so easily. I fully acknowledge these are not particularly healthy reactions, I'm working on it 🙈🙈

A rebellious 7? Guilty as charged.

7s can be really histrionic, and act in a 'reactive' manner if someone limits their freedom or, essentially, if they don't get their will. as a kid I would always make a big show of my emotions if I didn't get my will.

Thanks for sharing Rodrigo and I'm glad it was helpful! TBH I think the Shakespearean quotes may have missed the mark but it sure was fun to film LOL

well of course!!

that makes a lot of sense Aethereal!

hehehehehehehehe

😁💛😅💛

Yes, I am a contradiction myself ;-;

Glad you like them Jo Anne!

thank you! so sweet!

Yay! Glad it resonated, Erin!

thanks for the suggestion, Alen!

hahahahhahaha

Or maybe not, idk

YES YES YES

😂 right ? My response, sure they day as still young

I hope you are following your own path now Tyesha!!!

thanks for sharing Dottie!!

I love it! What's your teddy's name!

@@AbbeyHowe nm creative, just snowy cuz its white like snow lol

😂😂

Agreed! 9 with a strong 8 wing here.

oh gosh what a pickle!!!

thank you Karina!!! xoxo

What type are you?

@@AbbeyHowe I’m pretty sure I’m a six

No I haven't but that's a good idea!

I'm sure you are good for them!

@@AbbeyHowe I think so. I sure try to be.

always big Hermione vibes 😂

@@AbbeyHowe could you please do Harry Potter character’s enneagram types?

​@@Kate-zm7zj Seconding! I think Hermione's a 1w2, personally.

@@test-kf2zv Definitely. I think Harry’s a 9 with a possible 8 wing, and Ron is a 6

@@Kate-zm7zj I agree!