Escaped Convict Caught! - Misplaced Male Confidence - Josh Johnson - Comedy Cellar - Standup Comedy 

I m in South Africa,hope one day you come through,will definitely bring my whole family to your show.

It's a damn shame you're not past a million. You are beyond brilliant. I feel like I think a thought and you spit it out verbatim how it's in my head on stage. Delightfully creepy!

Canadian fan here: I'm about to get aggressive... Unless I just haven't found the information - in which case I apologize profusely - I am PISSED... That I still don't see a link where we can just send you a few bucks personally (other than subbing to your Patreon)!! I don't know what a ticket to The Cellar costs, but I owe you at LEAST that much by now. You're one of the most entertaining and witty comedians in the game right now, and I get to see so much of it for free on RU-vid?! Doesn't sound fair to me... P.S. Sorry for getting so aggressive 🇨🇦❤️🇺🇲

I love you so much, Josh!! You're too funny & so brilliant!! 👏🏼💯💖

Love your delivery and laid back attitude. As someone also born and raised in Louisiana, hope there are big things for you!!! This "backwoods kid" is rooting for you!!! Go, Josh!! Go!! ❤

I almost peed myself laughing at that reaction 😂

That part seriously cracked me up too 😂 --but dude! There was this escaped murderer that people were looking for. I think he escaped in a different state and he had murdered at least a few people--like a serial killer or something. I just kept seeing his face on the news, cuz they kept talking about it and I didn't think much of it. Then, later, some guy messaged me on grindr and was all being like, "What's up?" "You want to hang out?" and I looked to see who was messaging me and I was like @_@ It looked like him and I was like, wtf?! So, I didn't respond and then googled the news story and it seriously looked like this serial killer dude... He messaged again and was like, "Look, I'm just down on my luck right now and need a place to stay for the night... Is that cool?" and I didn't respond LOL! and then he went "Can I come over right now?" I still didn't respond... I thought I was just being paranoid, because the prison wasn't even near where I live.. I seriously think it was in the next state over or something, but I wasn't taking any chances.... Three days later, he was caught in my city... It was him the whole time, trying to get me to let him come over.... 😳 That creeped me the hell out.. like getting goosebumps and chills when I found out he really was in my town.

​@@Taricusoh my gosh calm down man 😅 How would he have had a phone? Plus if he's been away for that long, his account would have been deactivated. Also this is just a pet peeve but can ppl just reply to messages out of common decency pls? Just politely say you're not interested rather than reading and ignoring their messages.

@@TCt83067695 it's easy to get a phone. He also escaped with someone else. He can make a new account. and nah, i'm not required to respond to a serial killer lol or to anyone for that matter. especially if their initial message isn't hello....

Lmaooooooo both the audience’s + Josh’s reaction to that had me on the floor laughing, incredible set

😂😂😂

Watch the whole vid just to see how small he ended, off this comment.. Accurate

It's like the opposite of a tall tale. Like the reverse Paul Bunion.

Went from the dog had his whole head in his mouth to him hiding between 2 blades of grass 😂

Now that you pointed it out, I’m laughing even harder.

I could punt this dude to Jupiter 😂

I am 5 ft and this is devastating to me

@@monishaaraj6614you’re also not a prisoner

@@monishaaraj6614 why? because that's news to you?

I'm 5'2 and I've only met one adult male who is shorter than me. Ironically enough, he was my HS's quarterback (we weren't good) 😅

SCRUMT! 😂dead

HA!!! I’m so mad at you right now. I had to look at your profile because of the SCRUMPT. Is SCRUMPT the past tense of scream? If so, I’m really mad at you I was not expecting that. 😂, ❤it,😊

🍋

😅😅

your job was in on it

He in the back of your car 😭💀

Did they carry insurance on you?🤔

Glad you lived to tell the tale. 😊

Love is a beautiful thing😢😂

I choked 😂

He was caught a little over half mile from my home

I mean from where he escape from the chances are pretty high. Unless you mean what are the chances that she was in the audience and was connected to the incident, then chances are definitely smaller.

i think one of them is a rapper or something

Six degrees of separation. Makes sense.

“Let me tell them…OOOH”

Legit heebeejeebies

Never heard this man raise his voice like that, took me out 😂

​@@LuckyBones77😅😅

His throw away lines are golden.

​@@SeeStuDotrue, this shows how smart he is .

Idk I was like ok I get it he short ... anything else?

11:39

Can you explain? I don't get it 😭

Yesss totally agree!!

wheres waldo with ur life on the line! dont f up!

Yesss!!! I love how he tells stories!

Yasssssss

For real.

It was a little rapid fire 😂

"He little."

Absolutely correct! He's too quick for me sometimes, and I have to back it up and rewatch

You mean 'little convict' jokes?! Had me rolling!

Omg I was in tears, it was sooo funny!!

Understood, & sorry you've had to live that life, but yeah as someone used to being "invisible" to many, I can relate. Stay strong, & remember small is mighty!💪

@@rushfan1970 Thank you! It's all good. I get some great stories to tell my grandcats. There is a great saying of : I'm delicate. . . like a bomb, not a flower. It also helps to be raised by veterans of war and red heads. Takes me a while to snap but when I do. . . . . I've taken out college football players, and not out on a date! I'm far less wild now and running and hiding is now my go to now. Being "invisible" can be a great boon! You get to hear everything! No one has more information about everything, then the invisible people. Information has more value then almost anything. I hope you have a wonderful day/evening!

What's the craziest place you've hidden in? My 4'10 bestfriend got in the damn DRYER once and my soul left my body when she popped out!

My gf fits in suitcases and clothes hampers. And thats not something you wanna find out after a double into a graveyard shift. She hopped in a box for a tall stepping stool once you think i would learn but the intervals she pulls pranks... i just live waiting for her to pop out... I'm convinced she was created by the personification of DEMON TIME sent here to torment me! 😅

@@Kagome12987 Thank you, you are just amazing, thank you!!💖💪🤟🏼✌🏼

😂😂😂

So THEIR short man dissing made THEM lax.

@@ekdaufin1485 no. It was a guy that escaped. I never said he was short

Someone (2 people) need new employment opportunities

You mean your evening propaganda hour? 😂 If you willingly watch the news in 2023 where we know for a fact the news is propaganda, that’s wild. You’re a rare breed tbh

ikr

Exactly 😂😂😂

Frfr‼️🤣🤣🤣

Josh is now how I get my news and it's what I've been missing in my life. Pirate tries to set a tourist on fire in San Francisco... see Josh for details. 🤣

" we can be fast and elusive" 😂😂

I almost thought you were talking about Josh 😭😂

Reminds me how clever I felt when, during hide and seek, I hid under the table but back enough so I wasn't visible when you go by and it worked!

🤣🤣 Chucky!! lol

Right!!

His special bout to be 2 days long

Facts! I’m convinced he just has a comedy club in his house! lol

For real. Is he on tour or something. I constantly see content from him.

"homicidal thumbelina"🤣🤣🤣

Fax 😂 since his debut, his delivery has me rolling every time

Oh my god SAME!!

Same here!!!

Liked him before he was cool

💯💯

Right! He is a cutey!!

@katelynbrown3404 cone sorbet is really weird. Lol. And don't get me me started on that man's SMILE! 😫

Me too!! Present 👋❤😂

Same..if there’s a 6’3 dude with a million dollar and Josh…I’d still choose Josh.. he’s my comfort human 😭

I'm a guy and I agree, his smile is the best

We really think it is some days though!❤ *Kardashians and other celebrities...

I mean I have a French Bulldog and she LOVES kid, cyclists, runners, anyone going fast. She would have a field-day chasing a short guy on the run and she's in no way trained or even remotely obedient lol.

Yes!!

OH WHAT . . . 💥🔥⭐️

Yessss!

That would be a waste of his talent

Huh? The Daily show is nowhere near this quality. I want him to get Daily show bags though.

Can you imagine having to sit on a "he was in my parents backyard" info??? We'd all do the same fr. He handled it perfectly too

Ya, I can't blame her for speaking up about it. Idk if I could have held that in, and I'm super annoyed when audience members try to pitch in

I have never seen or heard him so Excited

We used to _try_ to do that when I was a kid, but core muscles were not strong in my household.😂😂

My sister used to climb the doorjamb in our house and sit up towards the top with her legs stretched across to keep herself up. She did it at our babysitters house too, which drove our sitter crazy. We used to say she was climbing the walls 😂 That video brought back memories!

What always amazed me about that was that the cops told the WHOLE city to go inside.... And y'all just.... went inside. Can you imagine that working in Providence or Philly? It's like y'all were like, 'nah, fam, we remember the revolution - we're gonna go ahead and sit tight for a minute while these cops do what they need to do. '

@@CatyBee Lol, I think some of the timing helped it, too. The marathon was on Monday, we spent 3 panicked days talking about nothing else, and then the lock down happened first thing Friday when we all needed a break. I knew at least a few people who just went to work anyway, but I think it would have been different had the weather been nice or if it was already the weekend. And I'm not sure about Providence, but I imagine Philly would have just joined in the search haha

Not 2nd Favorite 😂😂😂

@@XiiXiByNikkiwhose the first??😆

@@Givebackthescarf I'm not reading all that because I made a joke about a stand up comic that I really like and respect. I made a joke about a stand up comic. Do you not watch a lot of comedy? It had nothing to do with race or anything else so please stop trying to make it that. It's not. You need help. You are racist for trying to make it about race.

@@Givebackthescarf Thats also not even just a white thing. Many people joke like that. You really need to rethink some things if you see everything generalized by someone's race, especially just white people.

🤏🎥🚬✂️🌚

@@taracushingberry1 i couldn't agree with you more

Proud of you for taking the compliment and waiting for a man who's ready to be a full partner for you. ❤