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Esther Perel on The Other AI: Artificial Intimacy | SXSW 2023 

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These last few years have been characterized by prolonged uncertainty when it comes to our health, politics, economy, and beyond. Can you blame us for falling deeper into the siren song of our increasingly predictive technologies? Endless suggestions of what to buy, who to date, what to write, where to turn, and what to listen to next flow right into our palms-fooling us into thinking we have control over this unknowable, messy world. The deluge of perfectly curated feeds doesn't help. Renowned psychotherapist, podcast host, and author Esther Perel wants to know: what is this doing to our relationships? How are our expectations of one another changing? It is possible that “knowing” everything is making us less prepared for the uncertainties and imperfections intrinsic to life and love. Chasing certainty has left us inflexible and socially atrophied. How is this impacting our partnerships, friendships, and communities? Much as we try, we can’t optimize intimacy-or can we?
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30 мар 2023

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Комментарии : 159   
@tomdebevoise
@tomdebevoise Год назад
"Much of life's challenges are not problems that we solve, they are paradoxes that we manage." A brilliant quote from Ester.
@carolmcbrideonline
@carolmcbrideonline Год назад
Carl Jung.
@largoldx
@largoldx 4 месяца назад
19:26 19:28
@fvieirad
@fvieirad Год назад
40:22 'every choice carries grief for the option that we didn't choose' 👏👏👏👏
@leahkmarshall
@leahkmarshall Год назад
Esther is sublime! At 32:00: "A unique part of intimacy is that when we allow ourselves to truly meet another, we also meet new parts of ourself."
@phoenixrisin2269
@phoenixrisin2269 8 месяцев назад
Can’t do that with modern XXs. It’s emotional self deletion.
@corinaspfx
@corinaspfx Год назад
there should be statues of this woman in every major city
@Alexandra-uk4vr
@Alexandra-uk4vr Год назад
As well as her teachings in educational institutions. How much sooner we would learn to process our emotions and how better our relationahips would be if that were the case.
@RajatKumar-cm3ci
@RajatKumar-cm3ci Год назад
Just like Jesus
@dime7612
@dime7612 Год назад
Esther is good, but she misses the whole point that many relationships are not compatible to begin with, hence, narcissists and codependent relationships. She is sort of perpetuating the question how to have a good relationship, but the first thing that needs to happen is see if you are dealing with personality disorders. I just want to help myself and others. It was nice what you said, but I think she isn’t the bottom line. She is good at having interesting talks, but if you really want a good relationship, personality disorders need to be pointed out first before you spend time trying to fix something that can’t be fixed or statues are placed everywhere of a woman that doesn’t really help you. she is very much like a dating app. She is fast and appealing, but when you dig deeper, something is missing or completely off. Anyways. Esther is good at playing at the heart strings and humor, but she isn’t pointing out the first line of defense which is understanding personality disorders.
@mhuntprofessional
@mhuntprofessional 10 месяцев назад
Probably best there aren't. Smart, well-spoken, erotically intelligent, and very sexy... I can't afford to be turned on all the time. I need to be able to get things done 😂
@MrMadalien
@MrMadalien 9 месяцев назад
@@dime7612 99% of the western population has a personality disorder. Good luck avoiding them.
@DarioVillirilli
@DarioVillirilli Год назад
Human Esther is an absolute GODSEND. Grateful for her work, in love with her personality.
@susanneosborne7861
@susanneosborne7861 Год назад
I cried through most of this because when you feel like no one else "gets you" (and humanity), Esther does. She is pure gold.
@daveyvane9431
@daveyvane9431 5 месяцев назад
Really, I just laugh
@anavigil7603
@anavigil7603 Год назад
58:35 "I sound super confident, but I am sure of nothing" leads me to respect her even more. She is a wonderful teacher and helper to me through her talks and books. Thank you, Esther and audience.
@tomdebevoise
@tomdebevoise Год назад
Reminds me of the story of the zen master who ended his teaching by saying I really don't know much about anything...
@yootoob1001001
@yootoob1001001 Год назад
The segment on Esther's answer about the polarization issue in conversations was worth the entire watch. Thank you.
@videau234
@videau234 Год назад
When a seminar of 59.52 minutes feels like a 30 min talk, then you know the richness of the conversation has been huge, she (and the audience) are awesome! It is such a pleasure listen to her, I would not change it for an AI ;)
@Stinedarby
@Stinedarby Год назад
How clearly and beautifully put. I love this quote: Our ability to act freely upon the uncertainty and then see the ripples of our own actions lets us know we are alive. 👏
@lauraponce4633
@lauraponce4633 Год назад
This is a master class in paradoxes and living through very complex times. Thank you allways ❤
@CarolEderGuitarist
@CarolEderGuitarist Год назад
The video demonstrating different responses from the child, when mom either engaged or disengaged, brought tears to my eyes. It touched a part of me that I haven’t been listening to for many years. Thank you for your great work, Esther Perel!
@Ezel17
@Ezel17 Год назад
I always find a huge value in listening to Esther's ideas. Her work is very inspiring and has become a beacon of light in my life. Thank you for sharing this, SXSW-san.
@user-jn7mz2iw5i
@user-jn7mz2iw5i Год назад
Esther is absolutely phenomenal. The arch of her speech, the playfulness, the depth and richness - one of a kind. Loved every minute of this, thank YOU!!!!!
@theresas.3808
@theresas.3808 Год назад
She is brilliant! She brings clarity and understanding to relationship dynamics.
@elanalalala
@elanalalala Год назад
"Digitally facilitated connections are now lowering our expectations of intimacy between humans..."
@KingKlio
@KingKlio Год назад
This woman is my idol. Period.
@mjfadaee3419
@mjfadaee3419 Год назад
I LOVE this. Esther you did it again.
@maryshivy2799
@maryshivy2799 Год назад
We live by playing the cards we are dealt, and the variables that go with each card turned is our individual journey. The wisdom you bring to the truth of the many variables brings great hope for moving forward with hope to discover our true selves. Thanks for your constant renewing of your message.
@chilloften
@chilloften Год назад
Ester is beauty-full. Thank you Ester.
@almaguapa-sailboatliveaboa440
Thank you much Esther for your contributions. ❤
@jennifertrask
@jennifertrask Год назад
This was an excellent talk. Thank you for putting it here.
@elderfontes5028
@elderfontes5028 Год назад
Thank tou for sharing these amazing points of view!!
@andrearenee7845
@andrearenee7845 Год назад
I came across this today and it made me feel hopeful. Thank you so much...
@Mommaslew
@Mommaslew Год назад
Esther is ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT ❤❤❤❤❤
@SantannaFernanda
@SantannaFernanda Год назад
Such an inspiring person! So grateful to be able to hear her wisdom.
@minivann6943
@minivann6943 Год назад
Every time watching Esther is a wonderful, lightening time
@Allison_White
@Allison_White Год назад
Wow. Really incredible talk! Thank you for sharing!
@stephaniefortney22
@stephaniefortney22 Год назад
Esther is A Beautiful Human Being with a Gift to Heal and Create such Love, Intimacy and Life in others, without real connection a heart can only grow cold, we need connection that is Purpose for myself in Life… holding the polarity and learning there is no right or wrong…Incredible Humility and Wisdom, her words fill one with wonderful inspiration. Her Gifts of Clarity, Insight and Knowledge that she articulates and conveys with brilliance, she’s helping thousands…We are never done learning…Absolutely Grateful.
@magichappenswithyou
@magichappenswithyou Год назад
Bravo Esther! Magnificent talk.
@butterflies7023
@butterflies7023 Год назад
What a brilliant talk
@dianneschmid8129
@dianneschmid8129 Год назад
Brilliant observations Estelle I am backing u up 100 percent 🕊💕the dangers are very obvious and ur beautiful wisdom is so brilliant 🙏⭐️thank u May your voice heard every where 🌟
@mtnpfi
@mtnpfi Год назад
Thank you, Esther, your energy, intelligence and chuzpe is a joy to witness.
@sofiacnm
@sofiacnm Год назад
So deeply grateful for this. To have such a great female leader and role model is everything 😮
@renatasuerth
@renatasuerth 9 месяцев назад
Esther just gets what it means to be a human being. Even though she jokes at the end and says, “I sound super confident but I am sure of nothing.” Knowing that you don’t know is a sign of wisdom.
@victoriagrow30
@victoriagrow30 Год назад
She never ceases to amaze me. I love the reality of her words and how it sometimes smacks me in the face to hear! 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼💕💕💕💕
@carolewright6474
@carolewright6474 Год назад
Absolutely fabulous 🎉All the way through Esther 🤗
@Herohector
@Herohector 6 месяцев назад
Esther's work (written and spoken) has been a great aid lately in my life, I treasure her writings greatly.
@susanterry1623
@susanterry1623 8 месяцев назад
Dear Ms Perel..I had a lovely man once. Back in 1987. He had a personality and energy and he loved me. Now he is my device addicted man playing some 8 to 10 to 12 hours a day...or pursuing his possible options irregardless of how lonely I tell him I am..whole in the same bed or room or car. I wish I could convey the best of times. His kindness his gentle intelligence. His physical strength for such a lean guy..and his beauty. And humor. What a clever joker he was. Now all I see is his face reflected in a screen. I wish so very much that you could help us. Keep your keen discernment sharp for us listeners. He really listens to you! I think it's that little bit of "dutchness" in your voice inflection, or have I gotten the country wrong? Anyways we love you. And I keep praying I will someday see that fellow again that I knew way back then. 38 years ago
@soundwalkie
@soundwalkie 8 месяцев назад
Hey not sure if Esther would see this at all, likely not. Have you tried to write to her? Or attend one of her online workshops?
@ChaiTogether
@ChaiTogether Год назад
Honor to hear this woman ! 😊
@Steve-mo4qp
@Steve-mo4qp Год назад
Brilliant. And so generous
@LeoTheIronLion
@LeoTheIronLion Год назад
She is absolutely brilliant! 🙌🏼👏🏼
@r4ultra
@r4ultra Год назад
Her response to 46:17 made me Lol! Love her. Such a great talk. So important.
@user-pn7bz3yy9y
@user-pn7bz3yy9y 8 месяцев назад
She is AMAZING!!! Merci Esther!!!
@jacynthevermette8235
@jacynthevermette8235 Год назад
This lecture and sharing should saved and broadcasted for generations to come., they will need it.
@Guitar3801
@Guitar3801 Год назад
I love this woman ❤
@chiaraA.
@chiaraA. Год назад
She's amazing
@natashaziv1795
@natashaziv1795 9 месяцев назад
I loved how she pooled the questions at the end and just focused on answering the best ones. There were a couple questioners who clearly didn't "get it"; she so gracefully maneuvered around confronting them
@SammieLeaWhite
@SammieLeaWhite Год назад
Omg 😢 , this is so powerful n heart wrenching 💔. Place this on the curriculum on the humble university of life . Sadly , we are all guilty . Thankfully, there is a way bk home to Eros ❤
@EwaChodkowska-mg9dv
@EwaChodkowska-mg9dv Год назад
Madame you are fantastic !
@max-ys1ei
@max-ys1ei Год назад
Thank you
@carolgeorge6409
@carolgeorge6409 Год назад
Love her!
@mandywood3327
@mandywood3327 Год назад
So true, my husband of almost 40 years would never have met the checklist criteria I would use for a dating app. So I would not be married with children, living this life which I'm mostly content with.
@TheSail2222
@TheSail2222 4 месяца назад
Fantastic and fascinating - Esther Perel is a gem.
@mdummy
@mdummy Год назад
Queen
@wendyblevins3950
@wendyblevins3950 Год назад
This woman is a genius!
@shumiatcher
@shumiatcher Месяц назад
Brilliant & insightful woman !
@AnnaSmith-ob1vk
@AnnaSmith-ob1vk Год назад
Nice video!
@maumiceli
@maumiceli Год назад
Wow I got really strong goosebumps and gratitude at min around 52:30
@teresitadominguez3247
@teresitadominguez3247 Год назад
Please add Spanish subtitles. It’s such an important topic!!!
@stephengarcia2726
@stephengarcia2726 Год назад
The participation segment was such a strong yet simple demonstration of human interaction and reaction.
@moniquecm1144
@moniquecm1144 Год назад
❤️just love your way handling all of our life situation true our emotions of living in these days being a widow since 14 years knowing to love myself first to be love By another in equal give and take just being moi❤️thank you ❤️love
@bec9259
@bec9259 Год назад
So excellent 👌
@bobgasmi6045
@bobgasmi6045 Год назад
Outstanding
@ava-jl1ll
@ava-jl1ll Год назад
She is amazing
@TheArtOfTango
@TheArtOfTango Год назад
Beginning reminds me of movie “HER”… a must watch!
@milenakisel2855
@milenakisel2855 4 месяца назад
Esther is a wonderful person and teacher. An Angel in human form!!!❤❤❤
@BohemianKitsch
@BohemianKitsch Год назад
Wow. This woman is brilliant. she presents both skillfully and effortlessly.
Год назад
Absolute Queen 👑
@gondwana6303
@gondwana6303 10 месяцев назад
I always find her amazing and moving in her very human insights.
@MaudeyMakes
@MaudeyMakes 9 месяцев назад
She asks all the important questions. ❤
@patriot813
@patriot813 4 месяца назад
Wondeful woman. Everyone nowadays should listen to this talk. 🙏🙏🙏
@t1harold
@t1harold 10 месяцев назад
How amazing is she!!
@sindypetronella
@sindypetronella Год назад
love her
@EVZimora
@EVZimora Год назад
Brilliant speech
@storiesofblue
@storiesofblue Год назад
Please, could you invest in subtitles? This talk needs to be shared outside of the sole English speaking audience.
@LittleMissHoop
@LittleMissHoop Год назад
This is Excellence.
@1Sun111
@1Sun111 Год назад
great woman
@Sharedpath777
@Sharedpath777 11 месяцев назад
Big up Aundre from Jamaica 🇯🇲. 😁
@michaellamb7769
@michaellamb7769 Год назад
right on with the Ai because I HAVE FALLEN INTO THIS PSYOP AS WELL.
@SoularWindSong
@SoularWindSong Год назад
I really resonated with preceding reading for which this is related. But I couldn’t make this fit. I never settled on if this was my mom, dad, brother, or husband. The pieces just didn’t fit clearly, it wasn’t obvious 🤔 The last card though felt relevant. Thank you
@yeet-ed9ji
@yeet-ed9ji Год назад
It would be so cool if she went on the Lex Fridman podcast
@JasonLiske
@JasonLiske Год назад
I can’t believe there are only a handful of comments here relative to the issues being tackled and the amount of wisdom being dropped here.
@elaineholmes5844
@elaineholmes5844 8 месяцев назад
What an amazing woman
@daughtaofthesoil3510
@daughtaofthesoil3510 Год назад
Wow!
@SedaM00
@SedaM00 8 месяцев назад
I was afraid of AI but after this talk, I am not. Thanks Esther! x
@user-pc7kp9py3s
@user-pc7kp9py3s 4 месяца назад
❤❤❤ her
@POLYLIVING
@POLYLIVING Год назад
You’re got me questioning my recent vr toys purchase for long distance lovin
@thecurlyvshow
@thecurlyvshow 9 месяцев назад
Omgggg the baby part was so sad
@charlottemacdonald4167
@charlottemacdonald4167 2 месяца назад
It looks like you are going to have to do many more tours; there is a great hunger for your expertise and insights. The subject of the value of emotions is becoming bigger and bigger; a very good development that has not really been addressed on a mass scale in human history.
@AK-sr7cs
@AK-sr7cs Год назад
Why the Q&A make me wanna cry? :(
@ninajohnson8389
@ninajohnson8389 Год назад
17:10 yes yes yes
@Franziska.scherner
@Franziska.scherner Год назад
@cyndilu9
@cyndilu9 Год назад
So interesting! and so much to think about! Life is complicated sometimes lol Thank you
@lawaleto
@lawaleto Год назад
Is it just me thinking that human Esther just made an update for ai Esther
@jcg4050
@jcg4050 Год назад
Many nuggets of obvious but profound witty remarks. Offered symptoms of human contradictory living vignettes and inspiring positive longings instead of dwelling on resentment. Remind me to embrace paradox, dilemma, meaningful living coming from struggling with eroticism in a broader perspective..
@angelaachee7933
@angelaachee7933 Год назад
💕✨🌟✨💕
@9000ck
@9000ck Год назад
I want to go back to pre-internet days. Honestly, its too much. Too much information. Too much communication and not enough embodied intimacy. We ignore the body and the body comes to dominate. The body will demand to be listened to. It will make us depressed or anxious or come up with a million somatic symptoms or simply flat numbness. Also: has Esther Perel been reading Byung-Chul Han?
@ChrisOgunlowo
@ChrisOgunlowo Год назад
Eloquent and humane.
@MeuFilho-EL
@MeuFilho-EL 11 месяцев назад
Heinlein's book. Moral imperative is survival. But there are steps in stair. Circunstances dictates conducts that makes results. Moral dilemas are about which step on the stair increases chances of survival, but dependind on circustances one choses short or long objectives. Enabling allingments.
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