Love, Lust & Commitment Discussion | Afest

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When it comes to online dating, how do you catch the attention of potential suitors? Does it really boil down to your profile photo and dating preferences?
In this interactive talk at A-Fest about sexuality and relationships, a panel of relationship experts starring Marissa Peer, Esther Perel, and Dan Savage, informs us that there are several personality variables that you need to focus on when dating in the digital age.
Get even more inspired and develop your own personal growth success story with the Quest All Access Pass for unrestricted learning and self-development 👉 go.mindvalley.com/vCYmmHtN
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In this video, "Love, Lust & Commitment Discussion" Mindvalley CEO Vishen Lakhiani and relationship experts host an interactive Q & A on modern dating and give valuable relationship tips.
VIDEO HIGHLIGHTS
02:52 Mistakes women usually do with their partners
04:20 Stop trying to change things that are not gonna change
08:05 Three doors of entry into sex
10:41 If there would be a new relationship vow like a marriage vow, what would it be?
13:20 How would you deal with someone who is not fully present with you?
15:37 What is the one thing that is a current struggle in relationships and how to resolve them?
19:10 Sex is the glue which makes a relationship really special
22:55 How the spouses became the best friend?
24:46 Is the container in which we're defining relationships today flawed in some way?
30:06 There is only one commitment that is repeated twice in the Bible
34:50 How to deal with the mind?
39:37 Is there a particular exercise or ritual or practice that you think one can integrate their relationship to create a more enjoyable beautiful experience?
44:42 We come on the planet for two needs
46:20 Why sexual compatibility is huge?
52:41 Q/A between Esther Perel, Dan Savage & Marisa Peer
59:12 Closing piece of advice
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Learn sex education for couples and achieve eroticism with your partner by setting relationship goals with Mindvalley Mentoring 👉 go.mindvalley.com/LquF0-gJ
Along with having a strong connection, the relationship experts on the panel discussed the importance of couples investing the energy to focus on their sexuality.
By incorporating creativity and romanticism into your marriage or relationship, the panel of relationship experts believe this a sure way to fulfill relationship goals and prevent divorce from happening in the future.

Опубликовано:

27 ноя 2017

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Комментарии : 544

@MindvalleyTalks 4 года назад

What is the things you enjoyed most from this panel? If you’d like to join our Mindvalley student community, give the Quest All Access Pass a try for 10 days! It’s time to actively create the most amazing version of yourself with the world’s top teachers as your guides 👉 go.mindvalley.com/ziqwa0B2

@israelg6240 4 года назад

Marisa rocks!

@yolandaliriano1186 4 года назад

I appreciate the diversity of this panel. It is important to hear different views. Please continue to repeat this format on different topics .

@WassermanDoro 3 года назад

nudity

@lianakarafelyan 2 года назад

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@emiliabogdacenco5674 5 лет назад

You guys, instead of seeing this as a competition between speakers, you should value each one of them, because they see the problem from different angles. Marisa talks about overcoming the pathology that highjacks our love lives, which is reaaaaly important to be aware of and figure out before anything else, as it is the root cause of the most love-life misery nowadays. Esther does not approach solving pathology, but she really pinpoints some subtle dynamics that happen in any relationship, which really gives us a much needed awareness of our daily choices and actions impacting our love lifes on the long run. Dan is also really cutting through the cheese and giving us some radical truths, especially when he says that we're always alone, even in a relationship, and that's ok, and it's actually essential to preserve your individuality in the relationship, because that's what made the other fall in love. They're all brilliant.

@mistym0rning 5 лет назад

THANK YOU for this beautifully written comment. So much truth in it. I don't understand why so many people watched this panel and made it all about who they support and who they disagree with. It's this constant need for tribalism, picking favorites, idolizing people etc. A much better approach is to listen to the actual individual ideas from each of the speakers in regards to the different questions and scenarios, and evaluate them each on their own merit.

@angelalopez2003 5 лет назад

I wholeheartedly agree! I really like how you describe Esther's talent, because it's so true. It makes me think of a beautiful lawn and every day, a dog walks across it to get to the fence and then back in. At first the grass blades are resilient and bounce right back up. But over time, they start to stay down and then eventually wear thin until they stop growing altogether.

@MindvalleyTalks 5 лет назад

Thank you for that wonderful comment. Each of the speakers is unique, and they're all sensible in their claims. We are very very grateful for this healthy and positive discussion. Thanks all for the support and love.

@emokiriemiabednegoabed2844 4 года назад

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@sandychapman1313 4 года назад

Totally agree ... Marisa is Magnificent

@awynsberghe 5 лет назад

I love how Esther is still thinking so intensely whilst the others are speaking.

@PsychoLogicalGrl 5 лет назад

She's great

@reeves326 5 лет назад

All three speakers are brilliant, but Esther's charm and charisma is just unreal!! Great discussion, thanks

@swavnasahoo711 3 года назад

Absolutely.

@karinamatos4253 5 лет назад

I feel like a different person after hearing Esther. Her mind is amazing.

@Chiquepeace 5 лет назад

agree! she is in a league of her own

@MACX-eb3cn 5 лет назад

Esther, is totally amazing. Using words that are easy to understand. Almost like something we already knew deep down. Common sense.

@uyentran-rh9rb 5 лет назад

@@Chiquepeace @#-×-÷3444=5= tdtt t6 off

@priscillachaparro1364 3 года назад

Karina- Yes it is!!!! She is amazing 🤍🤍🤍🤍

@dramese 2 года назад

She's amazing!

@adriantamburini 5 лет назад

At 35:00 onwards, Ester Perel is the Queen. A complete master! Mind blowing brilliance.

@MadameSabineBalve 5 лет назад

"that I will do things for you just because it's you, even so, I would never wanna do this and that should be good enough, I don't have to want what you want in order to do it - you are a perfectly valid reason for me to do so... "

@shakarah11 3 года назад

Ester Perel is just brilliant! I wish I could have a session with her . Nothing is too complex or too simple , she really gets to the point . ❤️😘

@toniabeyta4007 2 года назад

Ester has no ego in her delivery, it's pure ..... To educate

@cherylinsmallwood8671 Год назад

Brilliant!

@cannotfindmyshoes3 Год назад

@ Helen Shakarah. I agree. I wish I could have a few "sessions" with her too. Or someone like her. All kinds of sessions. 😏

@olgabrycht1446 6 лет назад

Esther Perel is absolutely incredible! She blows my mind!

@dramese 2 года назад

An amazing mind, a complex subject like intersexual dynamics, require deep insight and she has that

@depunaisepoetser6941 6 лет назад

What I like about this panel is how they all are different people with different mindsets which makes it easier to relate to them because all of them are right in their own way. Just not everything works for everyone and that’s more than okay, that’s life!

@taitraveler5751 5 лет назад

Exactly!!! Its a great panel! I see the value in each of their views and I like how if I agree with one more the others actually challenge me to a new perspective.

@cannotfindmyshoes3 Год назад

@De Punaisepoetser. Bien dit. C'est vrai.

@lorriross3885 4 года назад

I CAN truthfully say Marisa was totally time worthy and smooth on my ears.

@phillippagroome8389 6 лет назад

The chair of this panel discussion is very skilled within his role. He gives clear, articulate and respectful guidance and structure to accommodate three rather different personality types. Very admirable

@princessavanessa2278 5 лет назад

Marissa has helped me so much with her exact advice, she drops the extra unnecessary words to get right to the point... I struggled with all these brilliant speakers.. I would get distracted or forget or get completely lost with too much info... but she gets right to the core..”I am enough” everyday, thank you marissa

@Mindfulnesswithayla 4 года назад

I agree 💯😊👍

@AdamHerscher 6 лет назад

Loved this: “There are many more people we can love ❤️ than people we can make a life with.”

@gemmadidit4118 5 лет назад

The reason for most affairs...

@gemmadidit4118 5 лет назад

@Jojo Moa Hope you don't mean ME. Im all girl....and my affairs are all imaginary...

@iss3669 5 лет назад

@@gemmadidit4118 but its a choice. It called making a decision hence Commitment

@iss3669 5 лет назад

Yes and its not fair on your partner because those feelings are meant to be reserved for them. There's only so many intense emotions we can harbor, if you spread it around (to the opposite sex) you dilute your current relationships

@bettys7298 5 лет назад

true

@emilyb.mccartha477 5 лет назад

Esther’s comment on best friends/partners is amazing. So insightful

@brendanrobinson2415 Год назад

Yes and I have enough friends already, don’t need anymore, but l would like a romantic sexy kind partner I can be nice to and enjoy her company. But if the sex stops, well then that’s just a another friend, so if that doesn’t improve, then it’s time to move on.

@angelalopez2003 5 лет назад

Through therapy I learned where my pain came from in my childhood and how I repeated those patterns with others in my adult life, trying to fix or heal those wounds (or so I thought.) But what I never realized, until now, was that over the years I had become, in a way, addicted to unworthiness. I automatically seek out ways to validate my unworthiness and sabotage my relationships. Now that I am aware, I keep catching myself and then stop myself from following through with the negative thought. I was projecting my feelings of unworthiness onto him. Thank goodness I'm married to a truly loving and wonderful man who deserves a wife who actually loves herself too.

@irenechoe 5 лет назад

Thanks for sharing your beautiful journey!

@worldwithoutwar8622 4 года назад

Can I recommend a book Falling for Love. It teaches many things about love, but especially how romantic love is often formed from early childhood patterns . . . that create the illusions of love, the illusion of a perfect fit, and that meeting the real other person, our partner, requires that we become aware of what we project onto them.

@monicatorres594 5 лет назад

Esther is a genius!! “I will text them” but what she’s said about the new vow is exactly why I have decided to accept my mother in law living with us..

@collinguin7886 Год назад

Monogamy is sociological conditioning as we are not "designed" as monogamy species

@MaithiliKulkarni Год назад

How is the situation with M-i-l living with you? Does it strain your marriage?

@monicatorres594 Год назад

I saw your comment .. and it caught my attention .. because I did not remember the comment I had posted.. thankfully she did not move in.. I thought about it and I realized that the thought of her moving in triggered anxiety attacks.. .. She Has bipolar and most recently I’ve came to think she is or at least definitely demonstrate Covert NPD .. we at the time we’re going through a lot of changes in our lives wanted to start a family not sure if we’d stay in that state .. so by her moving in alone would complicate our lives also because of where we were in our lives .. So thankfully she did not move in .. Ty for asking

@Sherlika_Gregori 5 лет назад

They all complement each other and have valid points.

@Mindfulnesswithayla 4 года назад

Not true

@chipiy1 3 года назад

And thank you Dan Savage for looking at the definition of a successful relationship. We should honour our relationships whether it is 2 months or 50 yrs.

@mistym0rning 5 лет назад

I love their answers & their discussion so much! :) Excellent panel. One minor criticism I have is not with the three wonderful speakers, but with the host's need to "rephrase" the audience's questions for some reason. I feel like all the speakers totally understood and responded to what the audience's questions were... there was no need for Vishen to "condense" the questions in any way.

@Passion84GodAlways 4 года назад

OH . MY . GOD🙄🙄🙄🙄....THAAAAANK YOOOOU!!!!!

@JanelReliford 4 года назад

He created Mindvalley. And he always inserts himself on everybody's questions. Including his speakers. This is a very bad habit that he has. I wonder if he's working on that. The amazing couple that does the Life Book. In his interview with them I found that he was completing with them to prove that he was at their level. They were just calm and very patient which I found amazing. Because I think if I were them I would have been stressed out with the way he inserts himself instead of Hosting interview. Marissa. Is my favorite. She absorbs more than enough. She was continuously disagree with, she was overshadow even though he said that one panelist with answer one question at a time. And then after she gave her simple and Powerful answer. Somehow the whole panelist was allowed to answer all the questions. But she sat there being more than enough, not needing to prove her valuable because she knows her value , despite them under rating her tremendous value to that panel. To me she was the most powerful on the panel. If I had been her I would have been seriously irritated. When the lady aggressively disagreed with her not just disagreed but was so passionate about her disagreement and not just disagreeing trying to Discount Marissa. Marissa just smiled at her and hunched her shoulders like, good that works for you. You have a right to your opinion. My opinion is still more than enough. But as for the host I think he, gets insecure. He has no reason to he created such a valuable platform. But this just shows the humanness of people that do big things, sometimes they feel like they're not enough and it is not displayed by what they say but what they do. He always looks insecure to me. But I still respect him because brings such amazing people to his platform. I thoroughly enjoyed each speaker. Although Marissa teaches a very simple and Powerful message that all of us need at our basic core, I am enough.

@Chan-mq9cy 4 года назад

Totally agree. The audience is smart enough to ask their own question's without a translator.

@DrSRanjanMBBSAcupuncturist 4 года назад

39:34

@MariaLopez-hc2nm 2 года назад

I KNOW 😏!!! I can't stand him....don't know why...I almost didn't watch when I saw Him there too...coz I thought He was going to be participating in this..

@lorindak.photography9099 Год назад

Esther's life knowledge comes into play in this whole scene. We can all see her awakened, experienced, well spoken advice.

@theprousteffect9717 2 года назад

If your partner is also your best friend and it works for the two of you, then great. But I agree with Esther that we expect far too much from one person, and it behoves us to figure which needs are best met by our partner, and which are best met by friends, family, and hobbies.

@LanaNoHandle 3 года назад

Ester and Marissa together on the same sofaaaaa!!!!!!! wow wow wow

@Behavior-X 8 месяцев назад

"We're only talking about 4 and half minutes!" Too funny!

@ragnaice 5 лет назад

Been listening a lot to Marisa and Esther and it's great having them in conversation. Don't know the man but what he says makes a lot of sense, kind of agree with all of them even when they're disagreeing.

@RobinSingh-md1sh 6 лет назад

There is really a sense of calmness about Esther when she talks. Very visionary in her approach to relationships. Awesome takeaways from her.

@coachpreetikhare6321 2 года назад

They are wonderful speakers. Thanks Vishen for bringing them all together . Esther is unparalleled with her wisdom and charisma.

@gabrielapataro8725 5 лет назад

WOW! It's so obvious that Esther Perel doesn't like interacting with Marisa Peer, her body language is so deliberate - both women really.

@JohnDavy1 5 лет назад

they really like each other, Marisa is a huge fan of Esther and when they met they got on incredibly well xx

@meekbeing 5 лет назад

In summary: If you're not in an abusive relationship. Then if you love the partner you've opted to be with then "Understand that love/commitment takes WORK thus TRY HARDER!"

@MaithiliKulkarni Год назад

And just bcoz of that, marriage will soon be obsolete

@meekbeing Год назад

@@MaithiliKulkarni Interesting... (Thank You for taking time to comment) ... Tell me more... are you saying "Marriage will soon be obsolete" because people don't want to Try Harder?? If so that's very pupil-dilating.

@eadruna Год назад

Yesss!!!

@meekbeing Год назад

@@eadruna Thank you for reading my comment and taking time to reply... I try to be thoughtful, sensitive, and compassionate on social media... because there's a lot of toxic contributions... so I applaud you for seeing value in my statement... Please stay encouraged on your journey! #My2Cents

@funnnkyk1d 5 лет назад

Esther is just a genius !!! I love her so much . She has the abiliy to make you believe in positivity and change . It gives you a new perspective of a relation . It dosnt fit with the reality we been tought to

@roro1980 6 лет назад

Marisa’s point about rejection is very good and practical

@ineffableeffable 5 лет назад

Sorry - I missed where she ever made a point...

@kaukoch 5 лет назад

44:42

@MadameSabineBalve 5 лет назад

Trust is active engagement with the unknown, that notion in itself says that trust is about risk-taking

@niamhmckinney4027 4 года назад

Really weird... read your comment *exactly* at the moment she spoke them

@42kellys 6 лет назад

I agree with Marisa in one thing and it is exactly what I am living, my fantasy is what she is living. She has a beautiful relationship, which monogamous and is working.

@isabelchung9767 3 года назад

Esther talks with energy. I like her views, think back and forth of what she says, really contains a lot of wisdom. 👍

@luciabalog8696 4 года назад

I loved what Marisa said about appreciation, because that is being a big part of my life now. Just imagine what your life would be without your partner and you can easilly realise how lucky you are. That doesnt apply only to relationships, but to many aspects of our lives.

@bgirlfree 6 лет назад

Maybe my definition of a best friend is different from Esther's, and I agree with what Marisa said about your partner being your best friend too, they don't have to be the only best friend but it's nice to have that kind of connection with a partner. And in a lot of comments Marisa is being bashed, but I like and understand her reasoning too...

@jac1797 6 лет назад

Lidija Basic I love Marisa's elegance and class! She has nothing to prove and all the success and experience behind her.

@Regina.Clarke 6 лет назад

I think Ester is more so calling out people who try to make a partner everything. That's a ton of presser and also poses a problem in relationships. The idea that one person is your everything despite you having friends prior to ever knowing this person existed is insane. I've see this happen far too many times...a woman making her partner her everything and forgetting to spend time with friends. So much more to say, but Ester made a good point to get rid of this saying. Your partner should most definitely be a friend buy doesn't necessarily have to be your "best friend".

@amazingyear9042 4 года назад

58:00 ester: when u chose that person what was the secret bargain that u made w yourself?!? WOW...

@jameslaurie1515 2 года назад

Seriously!!!

@MariaLopez-hc2nm 2 года назад

Spot on😃!

@ionutboss1266 2 года назад

2:42 Don't wait to be in the mood + benefits of sex 19:00 best fried + sex 23:50 we need more then one person 26:00 find what works for you about monogamy

@JennyB957 5 лет назад

Powerful speakers , Marisa is super confident and never lost it no matter how hard Estr tried to trip her up , she read her like a book , gently but boldly put her in her place .. But all powerful speakes . Good good talk . ⚘

@PsychoLogicalGrl 5 лет назад

Esther is awesome. Yes... cheating happens on many levels... even mental! Take responsibility for what you put in and your focus

@michellemaquiling9455 6 лет назад

"i would text them" LOL!!!

@matasuki 6 лет назад

Esther is a god damn prophet! So smart and sexy too! I hope to meet someone like this one day

@johnjaso385 5 лет назад

matasuki don’t use Gods name like that. I get your point anyway.

@ethioqueen5828 5 лет назад

I totally agree she sure is a prophet

@gemmadidit4118 5 лет назад

OMG! I adore Esther. She could make me switch teams...I COULD DRINK HER BATH WATER!!!

@obertbrinley6541 4 года назад

@@johnjaso385 He used the name god correctly. Did use God's name but the name of a god.

@lynnyoung8443 4 года назад

she is fake like most females

@tamargain7103 4 года назад

Esther stood out way beyond the others, Marisa was like talking like your neighbor, and the guy was out there, but Esther stole the show...

@typelogin 5 лет назад

the insight from these three is worth years of experience - awesome interview!

@lolakathol8649 5 лет назад

Not to show favoritism but , Marisa peer would be my first choice, if I were going in for counseling. She is so calming in how she talks😊❤️

@Mindfulnesswithayla 4 года назад

I agree 💯😊👍

@petrajamnik3430 3 года назад

Esther has made great points but I often find her style of speaking like she is arguing and I am not sure with whom. Not a great choice for clients who had dominating mothers...

@lubelar410 3 года назад

I think its a passionate European thing

@ummbarakahak2468 5 лет назад

I love unshakable unbeatable merisa peers...amazing lady thank u for all u share with us.

@MadameSabineBalve 5 лет назад

"There is a woman in the other room, and she is thinking about you and she was wondering if ... :)

@carve1967 2 года назад

Great panel and Esther is crazy brilliant and «Einstein of relationships»🙏

@iss3669 5 лет назад

Your partner needs to ‘make you feel like you matter’

@evemwangi5178 5 лет назад

There are many more people we can love than people we can make a life with.

@integrityfoundation9200 4 года назад

Wow Perel deeply said your partner shouldn’t alone be your friend.

@ammarahmad9976 5 лет назад

Awsome panel . When Esther speaks we all listen 🙏

@monicatorres594 5 лет назад

Marisa made a great point! Your problem is someone else’s fantasy. Keeps you in gratitude..

@ufoufo9182 5 лет назад

It doesn't for me. Must someone else be miserable before I can truly appreciate what I have? Nah. I want to appreciate what I have because I got the chance to experience it.

@veronicagmail8654 4 года назад

Esther , so bossy , 😂A lovely one !!Such a smart bunch of people I just love listening to, it’s like they complete each other. I love Marisa’s idea of best friend and I think she talks about connectivity with your partner and being able to be playful, also love Esther’s concept of being able to bitch if need be to your best friend and not your husband.

@babyyT 6 лет назад

This made me fall in love with Esther. Didn't know of her.

@TJ-qv4yd 4 года назад

I agree- your spouse should be your best friend for a lasting relationship

@1Skorpia 6 лет назад

love esther!!

@amyxiajing 6 лет назад

Love who they are and accept who they are.

@tranquility9325 6 лет назад

Maybe we shouldn't character assassinate ppl who have taken time out of their lives to teach you something for free. I would have liked to hear their response to, the fact that our society had lost sight of love. Especially but not limited to ppl online /dating sites. Our society has turned into individuals who are a lot more interested in your genitals and they have no desire or respect for you as a person.

@anniewilson1054 5 лет назад

tranquility Esther Perel covers the subject of modern relationships, online dating, sex and sexuality, true long-lasting love vs lust, rebuilding solid foundations for broken relationships, etc. - and all keeping current social and technological changes in mind. RU-vid has a wealth of Esther’s videos to learn from. Enjoy!

@worldwithoutwar8622 4 года назад

The book Deeply Touched Inside - Making Love with a Real Person is inspiration against treating others as sex objects, hence disrespecting them as a person. It teaches us how to be sexually turned on precisely by respecting the person-hood of the other . . . and suggests when that happens, love and sex unite, and that is the best sex possible.

@coycarlson4979 3 года назад

I think the statement you make of people being more interested in genitals more than respect of someone as a person holds truth BUT , at the same time, I also hold a belief that people are starving for sexual affection. Hell , so many wives , use their genitals as a punishment or reward - if their husband will or will not do what they want. So many women just act as though they are all that, and I would never stereotype, BUT , in my opinion - I have observed many women, especially many younger - dare I say millennial age women - which actually seem to be MAN HATERS. ANY relationship is a two way street and ALL relationships require mutual commitment and compromises as NO TWO PEOPLE HAVE EXACTLY THE SAME OUTLOOK ON ALL MATTERS OF LIFE.

@priyasavant399 2 года назад

I belong to a society where monogamy is the norm of a husband-wife relationship and I thought that sex was the natural effect of mutual love rather than having it's own personality separate from love. So I find this desire for non-monogamous relationship as a means to satisfy our animalistic tendencies. For better or worse, the perspective of some sections of society have widened to accommodate such tendencies. I do not equate divorce with non-monogamy. In fact I think divorce gives the option to get out of an undesirable monogamous relationship and seek another fulfilling one.

@tranquility9325 2 года назад

@@priyasavant399 I agree. I also agree that craving intimacy outside of love has become the norm which I will never understand. It makes no sense. Its like ppl have to have a score card so they can be proud of the amount of ppl they had sex with with zero attachment to them. I don't know when that became the norm but I wonder how long it will take before ppl realize that doesn't work.

@MissjSmithy 5 лет назад

If is wasn’t for Marisa peer then I would not be here today. Here in England it is so far behind with the system being so corrupt. In all aspects that Iv experienced, the family court system, the mental health teams etc. She’s the first therapist that has told me I am enough and Iv never met her personally but she’s changing my life currently. All three people are so right in they own way that there life has moulded them and shaped them to find who they are and control there own mind independently. Marissa’s approach may not be for everyone but I 100 percent not so long ago felt I needed to escape to America to get better. (Not great with brexit) Iv suffered with extreme rumination syndrome and of corse no one here has enough knowledge and understanding from being “brain washed” from the very beginning with your environment and surroundings with friends and family. My mind has completely transformed with Marisa doing everything she has done and having the will power to escape my narcissist mother. Meredith Miller is another person who saved me from doing something. To me I now sense she knows in her head not everyone in the room or watching will understand or like her approach but she knows all the positives for it and to not shut of like many people will. I’m currently being housed in a travel lodge by the council and the amount of therapy work Iv received in a day from her videos is somewhere no psychiatrist has even been able to do and I hope to get more of the word and my story out here for people in this country to take the Marisa peers approach. The amount of times in my life people who even knew Amy Winehouse has said how much I give of that vibe. But thanks to online videos with these wonderful people im completely transforming and leaving being that inner child feeling.

@sandracarneiro750 5 лет назад

Marisa Peer is the best speaker here. Ofcourse you need to marry your best friend.

@svartvist 5 лет назад

I've never had a best friend. Don't know what that means. Friends have come on gone in my life like flies in a cow pen. But my wife I married because she had qualities that did not exist in my family of origin, and I knew that she would help me develop those in a natural process. The icing has been she's always ready at the slightest hint to engage in sex any time and almost anywhere. After 26 years she's finally learning she cannot be all things for me, but she can always be there nevertheless.

@MomVids4 2 года назад

The question the moderator asks that goes something like, “what is a habit you incorporate into your relationship?” The question is asked around minute 41 and 42. Anyway - I thought I’d share our “morning routine” because I love it. My husband sits on the edge of the bed and I stand between his legs and press my breasts into his face. This turns into me caressing his head and hair. Him embracing me. Sometimes it’s tender and one or both of us cry. Sometimes it’s erotic and we have sex. Sometimes it’s playful and we laugh. It’s a meaningful moment of connection. We both crave deep emotional connection. The other relationship ritual we incorporate is asking each other, “tell me a secret”. This can be *anything from childhood to an interaction at dairy Queen to a fleeting thought we had that the other person doesn’t know about. It’s fun to hear what the other person shares.

@victorial1982 Год назад

Thank you! Love the first one❤️

@ClaudiaBolandakaCyberprincess 6 лет назад

54:24 Esther Perel's wrap is BRILLIANT... good news, I finally get what she's talking about x

@issie874 2 года назад

one of the most beautiful fulfilling interaction I have heard in all my life and am nearly 50. wow welldone welldone. where has this Lady Esther been? am so attracted to her way of thinking

@JoshuaChowabc 5 лет назад

It's amazing how much Dan cares for Terry

@mamalovesthebeach437 6 лет назад

I SO agree with Esther about my husband not being my best friend. He is my lover and my partner and we play and have fun but I do not feel like he is my "best friend". I've had people look at me pitifully when I say this and always think to myself, "you should be so lucky ...". I also do not agree with the idea that divorce is a failure. I was married the first time for 26 years and went through a horrendous divorce. We now get along fine but we're not "friends" and I still feel that marriage was not a failure ... so fun to see Jess Lively too ; )

@ModernJewelryMakers 2 года назад

At 27:30 - yes!!! Thank you Dan!! We were together 27 yrs - raised 3 wonderful children &. had a thriving business together for 25 yrs - and we are still great friends & love each other for who we are today. Our lives together were undoubtedly a success

@aliyakamenshikov7117 2 года назад

Thank you for such openminded, informative, and indeed entertaining conversation! I appreciate everyone's knowledge, however Esther was , for me, the most informative, straightforward realistic speaker! The other two had great other sides of the stories that are valid, but it felt as just entertaining stories. Esther is definitely far advanced professional in her for field for such short interviews, yet she killed it as a boss!

@mikibrav5285 4 года назад

Loved having a panel with different viewpoints, yet common goals. Excellent!

@GnosisMan50 4 года назад

If a person can't change for the better for himself, he will not do it for others. But the whole point of being in a relationship IS to become a better human being by rising above our bad habits because by doing so we EARN the love from those we claim to love. Being in a relationship is the ideal environment by which two individuals will inevitably find in the other their emotional and psychological blind-spots. While it may be upsetting to be called out on them, that's the main point i.e. to find that which impairs our ability to love BETTER, not MORE. We continue to make this catastrophic mistake in dismissing the former as of no significance. We take the proverbial path of least resistance, by believing that if we love another MORE, it's better, when in reality it's tantamount to madness. Mainly because the overvaluation of love undervalues our sense of self, our sense of autonomy and agency. We become un-moored from the reality as to where we are in our capacity to love and the person we claim to love so much. It's easy for us to overdose with love without knowing it.

@ChitchatwithApril 4 года назад

I can’t believe it took so long for me to see this. Well done everyone! Intelligence, wisdom, personal insight and a little bit of humor! Thank you for sharing this information and for free on this channel! Very very helpful to so many!

@chofo12684 5 лет назад

This was amazing, love Esther's take on relationships, revealing, cleaning up a lot of modern myths!

@MindvalleyTalks 5 лет назад

Hi Rodolfo, yeah Esther is amazing! Thanks for that wonderful comment.

@ggsplace69 6 лет назад

Excellent write it out makes you think and observe and absorb what is being said ..and start to understand

@tessagaerlan5201 5 лет назад

I love this discussion, so enlightening. These are the questions that I’ve asked myself and wondered about the answers. Great panel.

@breecakes 6 лет назад

I'm so in love with this panel ♡

@rogerroman306 2 года назад

I agree! Good info.

@annan.6094 3 года назад

I really loved the advices each one of them gave at the end. Thank you for sharing them with us!

@kimberlygraham4949 5 лет назад

Thank you Vishen for this amazing panel discussion. All 3 are different and inspiring. They have great talking points with their vast experience and knowledge in regards to sex and relationships!!

@28GG Год назад

It’s very American to think the partner should be also the best friend . Esther is right .

@MichelleSimtoco 5 лет назад

I love the different perspectives shared by the panel 💕 thanks mindvalley for posting this. I enjoyed the discussion immensely

@jackiegarlinghouse6493 5 лет назад

I am appreciating this. I've been Esther and Dan, now, having kids their ages, there is so much said by Marisa that makes logical sense, but is only the beginning. We are all on our journey's, and it give's me joy to see generations debate this. I feel like this is a memory of my life. Thanks for this debate, as a woman Marisa's age, I love the fact that my kids generation, (mils. that people say are so entitled) have so much spunk. I believe this is the generation that is going to turn things around. This gives me hope. Just because they are naive, we didn't get there for another decade. I feel very confident this is the generation that will bring us where we want to be.

@chipiy1 3 года назад

'OMG... this will be a classic line, "my husband cannot be a hairy woman." To defend Marissa, I understood her to mean, you gotta basically LIKE the person you choose to be a partner.

@frederickhoward5598 4 года назад

The more healthy approach is through the self relational aspects, being connected at the heart and inter-beingness

@amazingyear9042 4 года назад

make Your Most Important Person... Most Important!

@drivencn81 6 лет назад

thanks for posting !!!!. I'm such a big fan of Esther and Vishen.

@ngshaijinng9672 6 лет назад

Esther brings so much more realistic point in relationship..

@narcissismfree 4 года назад

I really enjoyed the panel and each one contributed so much from their own powerful perspective. Great insights for me to think about and digest. Thank you for bringing this to us Vishen.

@emalinel 3 года назад

Wow this panel is quite diverse in their views. I haven't heard of Dan or Marisa, but I'll definitely look into them now! I'm so glad Dan talked about sexual compatibility and how sometimes it's the lack of sex that binds people together. Also, Marisa's experiences with dealing with rejection, accepting flaws speak and making unfamiliar behaviors familiar so much to my own philosophy. Thanks for this talk! :)

@waitwhat6882 3 года назад

My two favorites! Ester Perel and Marisa Peer!

@55mjlangdon 4 года назад

Three very great professionals giving some AMAZING advise/suggestions. I truly enjoyed hearing each of you speak from your prospective. I thank you for giving of your time and information. Wishing you all the best. I’ll now be following each of you to better my new relationship with someone that we connect amazingly well in do much of our compatibility and put 150% into it with hope for 100% success. Thank you again. Mary 💜🙏😘

@dplant8961 2 года назад

Hi, Folks. Marisa has hit on some valid points starting at about 20.40 when she talks about asking if the object of your affections/LUST could also be your best friend. She then goes on to say that it is very hard to keep the 'hot-n-heavy' part of the relationship going and that nature doesn't want you to keep it going. Good points there. I'm just a 'pore, dumm bulldozer operator' but I am also a keen observer of people and of their relationships and interactions. One thing that I have observed and that has been borne in some counselling work that I have done in the past is that the 'hot-n-heavy' part seems to last somewhere between 18 months and about 3 years. This leads me to suspect that nature's 'plan' is to get a man and a woman together for long enough to have them conceive a child, have it born and get it at least started on the path to self-sufficiency. It also leads me to wonder if men and women were ever intended to live in long-term monogamous relationships, whether we have indeed evolved from our ape ancestors as much as we might like to think we have. More power to those who can make it work 'until death do them part' but statistics indicate that around 50% marriages now end in divorce and that around 75% of those divorces are initiated by women. I have my own ideas on the 'whys' and the 'wherefores' of this but that's for another time - maybe. Just my 0.02. You all have a wonderful day. Best wishes. Deas Plant.

@mehjs2 6 лет назад

Esther Perel - she's incredible! Great points

@tiffanygnaly 5 лет назад

This is so freaking good! THANK YOU. It helped me grow a lot as a Dating Coach for women ✊🏾

@deena3003 6 лет назад

I soooooo love this discussion

@marta-kj8qn 4 года назад

After listening and doing this session with you Marisa, i feel extremely relaxed, mu palms and feet feel warm and sweatly, my whole body feels warmer and relaxed.Thank you Marisa.

@Mushroom321- 4 года назад

Thank you "You tube" for the reccomending... 😊😃

@suzannelerner1 4 года назад

Thanks Daniel, Your films have been so helpful to me, to break through the brainwashing that is so prevelent in our cultures about "madness" or "mental illness" or what I prefer"emotional diSTRESS" Reduce the Stress, learn to work with the different voices that we ALL HAVE in our heads, work with Breath, connect with others who genuinely are accepting. so much can change. The Inpatient Hospitals are Criminal. So much could be done with the money people pay, in their diSTRESS, for pills, flourescent lighting, poor quality food, and lack of Nature, exercise or connection with creative outlets. I am glad I never went to such a place for help and sad that others, not knowing better, do. Your films shine light in the Darkness, about what is possible. May you be supported, encouraged and acknowledged fully for all that you share. Warm Regards, Suzanne

@2rememberSeptember11 4 года назад

22:00 This is absolutely true & wise to honour & uphold this perspective. 💚

@GiumeConsulting 4 месяца назад

Marissa Peer is AMAZING, the best

@amandabrisbane8716 5 лет назад

My vow has always been that I endeavour to speak honestly.

@ginaberrie2608 5 лет назад

I absoluteLy love this, not everything applies to my values of course. However the suggestions on how to approach, respond or initiate things, actions or conversations are priceless. I'm going to watch this many times, I will study and practice many of these so I get it right. I just got out of a relationship that neither of us wanted to end but we couldn't get it right. How tragic. I will forever regret my inability to understand his needs or the way I could have responded, communicated or changed something within myself to make this work. If only.... So many of only's. If only we could study and learn to better communicate, respond, initiate and understand. I would take the opportunity to give this one more try even if it failed. I'd give anything to try my hardest to just make it work. We need to study, to learn methods and ways to understand each other's needs first. And then try again. I would give anything for that opportunity. This is a dual commitment, one can't fly solo. I agree each must submit 100% that way there is no blame, both are 100% accountable. Unfortunately, it's just too late. For the future, I will constantly improve myself to be the best me and to be the best for my partner. Thank you for letting me know it is absolutely possible.

@worldwithoutwar8622 4 года назад