We don't know that.. how she developed the feelings? 👀 besides even flirting and allowing certain kinds of hugs, touches, or entertain certain talks can be considered cheating
@@maddieb.4282 you relativistic one... look at someone and think that the person is attractive is one thing... flirt and etc (being in a relationship) to me it's unacceptable
@@totally...124you don't have to have touches and flirting to develop feelings. Most true feelings I know are developed when a person falls in love with another in their most normal form when the certain person is not even trying to do anything. May be being in a relationship with someone else made her feel how different she felt with her bestfriend without being romantic. Millions of people have millions of reasons to fall in love. Unless we don't we can't claim something.
@@lalopuza except those crazy people that "fall in love" with celebrities/strangers, nobody "develops feelings" without open itself to IMPROPER interactions with another person, people just like to normalize and romanticize... cheating, changing partners like it's nothing, disrespect agreements (relationships), irresponsibility fulfilling social roles etc... awesome society😌
She was being unfaithful, she owned up to it yes but you just don’t have male best friends when in a relationship. Look where it ended. It always ends like this and it was 1000% her fault. Maybe 999 because the dude shouldn’t let her have male best friends in the first place. She’s gonna continue doing this mark my words on that
not a lack of commitment its a lack of patience. she got feelings for the first person and was too quick to make a decision with them before fully knowing them. the lesson is to not rush into a relationship because of how you feel at the moment but to grow with that person over time before making a firm decision, then if it works it works and if it doesnt it doesnt.
False, she shows a very immature response. Condemning people and thinking you are above them, wiser and more mature, and therefore you will handle things better than anybody else is a typical stance of an adolescent. Since they have no experience, they are all intentions, but zero shortcomings. It is easier from that point of view to establish a moralistic view of the world. Women do this all the time. Since they don't dare to decide about their feelings, they create a situation where the man has to do it. Some women will even cheat to provoke the end of a relationship. This is clearly a way to enable them to assume a victim position. In this case, she was just being mature, it was the other guy who had to decide to accept that situation or to end it on the spot. This is absurd. Opposite-sex best-friend relationships are hard to handle. They are people who spend a lot of time with your partner and they usually know each other better than you know your partner.Friend assumes that there is no sexual tension in the relationship. When you say that there is, the thing is over. Confessing that is like torpedoing the relationship. It is like saying to your wife: hey, do you Janet, that coworker with whom I have spent a lot of those late hours working on the new project and we have her for dinner a couple of times, so .. I'm "developing" feeling towards her. Come on! It is over. Besides, cheating is never to blame on the partner. Hollywood pushed that cultural notion that if the man cheats, he is just a piece of crap, but if a woman does it, the partner is the one to blame because he starved her emotionally. This is ridiculous.
Nah thats just immature if ur relationship goes by feelings and a bigger red flag falling in love with ur best friend. Tf? That is absolutely unacceptable
you can’t really control your feelings though… one time I told my fiancé that I had feelings for a coworker… I told him that I still wanted to marry him and I still choose him, but I wanted to be honest. We believe in Jesus & the power of prayer, so we prayed about it. Now, I don’t have feelings for that coworker and we have been married for 6 months :)
I had a similar situation. But i suppressed those feelings by ignoring my friend and removing her from my life entirely. I had to choose between my stable and wonderful relationship and a new friend. I chose my current partner. It took a year to get rid of all those feelings. But I know it was the best decision i made in my life. It's been 12 years since then and i do not regret anything.
Exactly, even a married person can develop feelings for others, the thing is to delete others and work and improve your relationship with your partner, good for you🎉
This is such a mature and right thing to do. How do older generations had stability ? It's cuz they wouldn't entertain their little feelings. They remained in that relationship through thick and thin. Reality is we always meet people with a certain degree of attraction factor but it's something normal. The key is this if you are single you can take your time and enjoy that moment given that the other person is single too. You wouldn't wanna be tht guy or girl who is that person who took away other person's partner thts just a shit thing to do. Be smart. Other key is if you are in a relationship then you better buckle up and stay grounded. Feelings come and feelings go. The key is loyalty. Therefore before you enter a relationship give it a long hard thought and take your time and manage expectations.
There is this thing I heard from someone 'You can actually decide before you finally submit to the fall' Its normal to appreciate other people's beauty and attractiveness but if you allow room or chances for possibilities to grow feelings that's where it can go wrong. Salute man.
So true, ur decision is so mature and wise. Hope u will always have supportive people around u. Tbh, it's rare to find someone having a mindset like u. Most people just care about their own feeling now days, they hide behind 'u should respect ur own feeling', but they forget to respect their spouses feeling. As a couple, we should adapt each other. Sometimes, we should make changes to our things. Some changes in us didn't mean we're in a toxic relationship. It's all about respect, keep learning, and keep adapting.
Honestly Its better the girl says the truth about this to her ex boyfriend then cheating. Anyone would agree she handled it maturely, when it could’ve gone way worse if she cheated on him.
She cheated already though, emotionally. She realized she had feelings for her best friend and kept hanging out with him till she couldn't handle it no more. She was in complete control. She chose this but I will commend her for telling her ex though.
The issue is that ppl call it mature when the whole thing is immature. Ppl should just stick to saying it’s good she was honest and moved on rather than saying she’s mature when it’s clearly a lack of it.
Her honesty is commendable. That said, don't take the sentence "you can't help a feeling" too seriously. It's an infantile approach to life. If you value your relationship more than this initial crush-emotions, you need to distance yourself from the person you're crushing on. If you don't, you need to break up.
@@celinho68just because they happen doesn't mean you have no control. You can control them by steering the direction. If you realize you start to feel something, you can choose to minimize the time you spend around said person. That's control.
This is the kind of person I wanna see interviewed again in 40 years. (Additionally to clarify) Not even necessarily taking their personal story or choices into account, they seems to have an open-demeanor and the kind of person who will soak up many life-experiences as they grow. This will likely make them an interesting person to interview in their older years!
Why, because she handled a break up responsibly and treated her partner with respect? I’d like to see you and I in forty years. Our arms locked and faces smiling for our wedding photo, Philip
As much as it sucks to hear those words from your girlfriend, I’d feel relieved compared to being cheated on. One is straight up truth and honesty, the other is being betrayed and backstabbed.
Dude dodged a bullet tbh. If she's the kind of woman to leave her healthy relationship because she felt the butterflies for someone else it means she didn't love him, she just loved the fact she felt the butterflies when she was around him. And she'll likely leave that partner too once the magic of it is all gone. Some people gotta realize love isn't just a feeling, it's part of it sure but it's a dedication to committing your life with someone else to build a future together. That commitment goes two ways and she broke hers because she wasn't committed to the person but committed to the feeling that person gave, once that was gone she left.
@@Honto-cv9wb I've had one for the past 15 years. Also how is it dumb for writing an essay? I wrote it cuz I'm passionate about the topic and have seen this kind of behaviour in people before. Also "possibly" is spelled with an i you dumbfuck. :)
Nothing wrong with developing feelings while dating. Have you made complete commitment yet? No then why would it be, it wouldn't be anything out of the ordinary. What's wrong is if you start an affair with someone before quitting the first relationship. Edit: It's unfortunate but you're not wrong for having feelings. It can become wrong tho depending on how you handle it. For example now if someone has a family involving 3rd person, that scenario is different and should be handled better. But if not then it's not a crime to leave and then go after the new. But if you think you don't want these feelings or don't want to leave the one you are with currently, then try everything to stay away from the second person even if it's till you get hold of your feelings. Majority of people make it wrong by trying to start something new while also staying at the previous one BECAUSE they don't want to risk. That's why it's tricky.
Thats why its so important to realise that love is a decision, not a feeling or emotion. Its a decision to stay with your partner and not go running after every person who trigger some feelings.
Love is indeed a very deep emotion and feeling,yes you can stay with someone even without loving them but there is no point and even they deserve someone who loves them
@@elyz98 If any part of it is irrational that’s due to the chemicals and what stage you’re in. It’s always the same and that’s why it’s an action not a feeling. It’s a shame more people don’t educate themselves on the phases of how that all works because it matches up with how long people tend to stay together nowadays, since they seem to believe love is a feeling. 3-5 years, it’s almost always the same story.
Life happens, feelings change. Adding jealousy to the mix will only make things harder. Anyone can develop feelings for someone at any time, so your take is pretty off-base. Did you even listen when she said, "Life is a lot messier than we think." ?
Literally I was thinking the same thing and saying no way because how like deadass I thought I would never even see a irl mizu but the algorithms have proved me wrong again
@@vmat6684 so I can cheat as long as I be honest? You simp are out of your brain. Or just normalised cheating, then stop crying when men do the same ok?
Good woman wouldn't let this feelings happen to another person while having a partner. If it happened somehow, just set the right priorities. Family & honour > feelings
We all have that little voice inside secretly judging others when they mess up, until we mess up ourselves. This lady is taking accountability, realizing that feelings sometimes mislead us, she's being honest with herself and others about this messed up situation, props to her ✨ we learn from our mistakes and become wiser when we take the time to reflect on them mistakes and understand our flaws. I wish her the best, she's only human and no human is perfect.
Stop simping , the boyfriend knew that shit wasn’t good , he knew about the best friend , in what world are you living? She was lying about it , “ it’s just a friend “ how many times do you think she lied to him ? If you can’t understand that, you’re not a man , or you’re one in potential danger because you can’t see bullshit
@@sekaiomiruhitokaminoyume5426 I'm a straight woman °_° and even if I was a man, that still wouldn't be simping. God chill out dude, you need happiness, I mean it, get off the internet and be happy.
@@sekaiomiruhitokaminoyume5426 I wish you love Buddy. Do not let the injuries inflicted on you Make you bleed on people who did nothing to you. And do not absorb the injustices of this world too much otherwise you'll lose your inner peace. We have limited time to live, we cannot change the world, we cannot change humanity, but we can choose how we react to existence. Take care of yourself and nourish your happiness, resentment is no way to live in peace. Sending you hugs Buddy. I mean them, God bless ✨
@@Burnt.Ice.Cream.You should understand that if your assumption about that person is true, then those words that you have written will feel Condencending and Demasculanizing for him. It is not gonna help anyone. Either you do understand this then you are a narcissist who likes patronizing other people or you are not aware of that, then you shouldnt attempt to help someone because no help is better than wrong help
I'm so glad to know that there are many smart people who know everything about everything in youtube. The future for this species is really bright you guys.
Chasing feelings will only run you in circles, if you chase something that’s fleeing, you’ll live your life on the run, in a circle of emotions, only trying to chase and feel happiness. This leads to a life where you run from people and relationships chasing the things that make you feel good, leaving you with no one around when your time comes. Reality is life has its highs a lows, you need to ride out the storm to come out the other side, because you’ll never get through the storm, chasing the sun.
That depends on the kind of highs and lows you go through, and if you honestly think the end goal you can reach with your current partner is better than what you could with someone else. Or even alone. Relationships aren't worth saving just because they exist, they need to be what's best for yoir life.
@@leonardomarquesbellini right, I’m not saying stay in something abusive, what I’m saying is every relationship has its highs and lows, some days you’ll feel like you can’t live without them, some days you don’t even wanna see their face. What I’m saying is if something, exciting and new comes along, people aren’t like iPhones, there isn’t a new one around every corner, at some point, you will run out of options, and you will have burned every bridge down, and have no one to turn too when your old. Life isn’t a fairy tale, you won’t love someone 100% all the time, what my comment pertains too is that love is NOT measured in feelings, of which she blatantly says “I caught feelings for someone else” love is measured in time you are willing to spend on a relationship and in the amount of BS someone is willing to put up with for you, and vis versa. Truth is we are all human, non of us are perfect, we all have flaws, and the real relationships that stand the test of time, are the ones that ride out the storms and not leave because they feel any specific way in any given moment. Like I said, feeling are fleeting, they come and go, you can’t base your life on feelings, people who do that, never end up in a good place. Examples could range from the act of genocides like in WW2, all the way to drug addictions. Feelings shouldn’t dictate your life, you should, or to put it metaphorically don't let feelings, cloud your judgment.
Ppl need to understand that feelings come & go. That never changes with anyone. Commitment is about kindling the flame of passion. It’ll rise & fall with time. Just cause it’s gone in the moment doesn’t mean it’ll never return down the road. But you’ll never know that if you always leave whoever you’ve been with for whoever you haven’t been with.
Preventative measures. Feelings don’t come from nothing. They are precipitated by a series of decisions and actions. All of which are absolutely avoidable. This nonsense of falling in love with your ‘best friend’ is because those people never had the sensibility to establish the necessary boundaries to prevent these things from happening.
Do you really like that person if you need to set boundaries with others? Genuinely asking , cause some people call that cheating already Even before you set boundaries, the moment the thoughts enter your mind
@@minseoksblacknailpolishinw5677 yup. Lots are tempted, but what you do with those temptations is where the problem starts. Ignoring that small voice saying "this is wrong"
@@minseoksblacknailpolishinw5677I think it depends on a person how they handle temptations. some people are weak with it. that's why they develop feelings for others easily.. that's why some put boundaries
When something like that happens, two options: - shut up and put distance between you and the friend - break up Telling your partner is just something you do to feel good about yourself. It's not for the sake of the partner. It's not for the sake of the relationship.
Not really. Some people feel it is tye right of their current partner to be aware of what is happening. That shows strong and righteous character in my opinion.
@@cristinaratiu4535 did you notice how you framed it as something that will only help yourself feel better? Not your partner. Not the relationship. Just you.
@@parametr I disagree, maybe the partner is okay with a poly relationship, maybe they would even want it? Maybe they would want a reason why someone is suddenly growing distant or breaking up. Or maybe simply being honest about it and hoping you can work through the situation with the partner for the relationship instead of breaking up is the move. You don't know. And when you don't know the respectful thing to do is be honest, tell your partner and let them make choices for their own life. This is called trust and respect. While someone can single headedly just call off whatever relationship they have without any explanation, that's a pretty big red flag that they never considered the other person as part of the relationship in the first place. No one owes anyone explanations but you're not the only one in the relationship that's breaking either. Whenever anyone basically unilaterally makes decisions about the relationship AND assuming they already know exactly what their partner *MIGHT* think of the situation, that's never for the sake of the partner or the relationship either. Sure maybe the partner decides the relationship is over, maybe they don't even know how to handle it, maybe they're happy to hear it and can't wait to see what their friend says about dating both of you and yes some times maybe the partner would have been happier never knowing, regardless I think if you love and respect someone letting them know the truth about the situation and trusting they can handle their own life is for the best, for the partner and for the relationship (even if it's breaking).
@@entecor3892 I see. You should tell your partner, because "maybe the partner is okay with a poly relationship". So... again because maybe it can work to your benefit. Great. Note: check the stats on poly relationships... the vast majority go bad, real bad. Very very difficult for those to work.
That’s where your maturity comes in.. Everyone has feelings.. but people should keep their priorities straight in life..it’s about how seriously are you invested in your relationship. She could’ve valued her relationship instead of the friendship.. but she didn’t. instead of jumping into peoples lives based on feelings ITS A CHOICE it cannot “just happen” and for me it is a form of borderline cheating and yes it’s unfortunate that it happened. Props to the lady she had the guts to admit it most men don’t even get that.
Absolutely! Until and unless she lead the guy on, and later crushed his feelings...and instead told him she had feelings for someone else, and broke it off then and there, she is good in my books. Atleast didn't waste my guy's time and feelings.
If that relationship really had her heart, she would have fought to prioritise it. Obviously ,that relationship though healthy, wasn't really getting her in the feels. It's good to be alone than in a relationship where you are half in.
@@Nairaa.835if your relationship can seriously be threatened by an opposite-sex friendship then it simply isn't stable and lasting that long either. Why insist on something that isn't working out great instead of moving on?
@@chimakalu5195yeah but atleast she had the heart to tell the partner instead of letting them believe she was committed to them and then only. It only would have caused them both more pain the longer it went on, bad attitude or not.
Thank you. I think maturity is very important before going into a relationship. The same thing will happen again when she gets married and will still have feelings for another person. I think relationship needs mature women and men.
You only leave a relationship when you are in danger you don't abandon a relationship just because of a crush just because you have feelings for a person.
@@kungaroomanga5639 I’m actually implying that women can call in love with both male and female friends so if you’re gonna take anything from this.. don’t let your bias let you forget about the other end of things 👀👀 cuz this day in age both are VERY possible. I know first hand lmaoooo 😭😭😭😭😭
@@DeadfriendsxGaming I’m a straight dude, I like straight women, doesn’t matter if the chick in the vid is gay or bi, she still fell in love with a friend. Despite how specific my og comment is, any normal person can look at it, change and apply it to themselves and their sexuality. Her sexuality is irrelevant to the point I’m making. If you still somehow don’t get it, my take away from this vid is that I, as a straight male, won’t date straight females who have a male best friend bec of ppl like the chick in the vid (Regardless of sex and sexually). I don’t appreciate my speech being lectured to accommodate others like it’s 2016, I’m not gonna metaphorically walk on broken glass again. Don’t make this into something that is not, and if I’m being rude it’s bec I’m in a bad mood and tired.
omg something extremely similar happened to me but i was on the other side of it, my ldr partner started crushing on someone from their school and we openly communicated about it, although it was really hard and heartbreaking for both of us im glad that we were always honest with eachother, you are not a bad person for developing feelings for someone but how you handle the situation really matters
Exactly what she said about becoming the bad person you didn't want to become. It just happens, that's JUST LIFE in many circumstances. There is no escaping it unless you are ignoring it AKA being ignorant. Best way to handle it? Learn, grow, understand and find peaceful solutions. This goes for anything, when someone becomes bad in any way. And don't shame to just shame, because that will just push that person to embrace their darkness.
U wouldn't know darkness if it stared u in the face. It's all "mature" & "modern" & "handling it" till u cross the wrong guy. Sum1 to whom ur life means nothing once u betray them. Wut u gonna do then? Huh? Talk to them... maturely? Good fucking luck
@@vikix981 This. People oftentimes feel like if they have to “not put themselves in certain situations”, then it’s control. I think people should decide if they care more about the chance to fuck up, or choosing discipline.
She has control of it still. Anyone can fall for anyone even if ur in a good relationship if u open urself to others that's why there are boundaries u place not just on others but for urself. And that's why u cant have a male BEST friend.
Just because a relationship is healthy doesn't mean you're obligated to stay in it. People can be in a healthy relationship and just move on in different directions, have life take them down different paths. It's healthier to understand and embrace the change than it is to pretend everything should remain stagnant, that's how your relationship turns toxic
@@nordikkai7185 If you don’t like to be there it won’t be healthy on the first place. The whole logic in Michael’s comment goes around that. You can’t respect someone living so careless about others.
@@moabman6803You can’t control your feelings, but you can control your actions. You can’t really help falling in love with someone else, and forcing herself to stay in the relationship while trying to push her feelings down would be totally unfair to her partner
But sometimes it's true. And you never develop feelings, other times It gets complicated and other times you have feelings for your friend for a while but eventually those feelings go away. Life is not a straight line.
@@eli243lg4statistically one of them ends up having feelings all it takes is one bad day to ruin the rest that’s why all three religions don’t allow it
@@DNA-ei7uo But the problem with statistic is that although you might be part of it, It can also happen that you and your friend are the exception, because you don't know who are you getting to know at first. I want to achieve a level in life where I don't care about gender when It comes to make friends, because I might be stopping myself from getting to know wonderful people, just because they are the opposite gender. You know how rare is to find good people and good friends? True friendship is rare. If you limit it to half humanity is going to be even rarer. Also, I have a question for you. If a bisexual person is in a relationship, should she/him stop being friends with everyone?
The mature thing would be to not spend time with a male friend when in a relationship. Ruined her relationship because she just couldn't step away from another man. Quit glorifying this behavior
You can’t help a feeling. Did you want her to cheat, or just completely suppress it? That’s not how emotions work. She took full responsibility for a shitty situation and handled it very diligently.
Same thing happened to me but I was on the other side of it. It definitely hurt a lot being told by the person whom I loved they have feelings for another, but I was grateful that they told me. I had to make the decision and I broke up with her then and there without looking back ever since. She tried to stay in my life but I just couldn’t do that. I feel like that is life, we must go through these changes so we can grow through life. If I had held on it would have ended in more meaningless suffering. Everything is a learning lesson, i do not chase my feelings anymore, I let them flow freely, but I will stay on my path and value myself above my own feelings. Idk if any will read this, I just vented 😅. If you read this I wish you the very best in life, if you are going through a hard time know it will get better, and know that there are people out there who understand even tho you may feel alone.
Don’t try to defend for yourself by saying “sometimes things happen.” If you have boundaries and really love the first person, you wouldn’t put yourself in the situation to develop feelings for the second 😅
You have great theories and sound like a child. Life doesn't work according to your principles. You can't just stay with someone you don't want to be with because that's also betraying them - they also deserve someone who thinks they are the one. If you stay with them as a self sacrifice, they'll eventually know the relationship is running on fumes.
If her best friend was a guy, that IS the first RED flag. I have so many questions: 1. Was her BF a guy? If it was a girl... Than this gets complicated... 2. Did she further the relationship with the best friend? How did that work out? 3. What exactly does she regret? being honest about her feelings, hurting her partner, or that this happened to her (challenging her the bad person/ good person internal narrative)? So many questions!
@@moent00Feelings are not real and are ephemeral. How many times have you felt anger and simply let it pass? Do you act out on your anger every time and hit people or break things? No. All feelings are the same.
Yep, the subtext of this clip is that she threw away a good relationship to chase her "feelings" and got burned. At least she's young enough that she can still find another partner. Hopefully she's learned her lesson. Many women do this in their 40s and 50s and end up single for the rest of their lives.
@@User24427exactly lol people just dislike themselves so they find issues in others. nobody who loves what they see in the mirror says things like that.
Feelings are honestly a choice… You choose to immerse yourself in them and not consider your partner in any of it. I have met many people over the years who I could be interested in right off the bat HOWEVER even while single, I still never THREW myself into those feelings. Why? Because you don’t really know that person. She says she started developing feelings for her “best friend” but how long were they really friends? Was that person actually more of her best friend than her partner? My fiancé is my best friend to start with… He is my biggest supporter therefore the best friend you could have and then I have a couple close friends that fall after him. Everything is a choice. People fail in relationships when they act like everything is just beyond their control. It’s not!
Props to her for communicating. I will say that if you are in a committed relationship and you are developing feelings for someone else, you should probably establish boundaries to limit exposure. Feelings develop from affection and interaction. Spend less time or spend time as group and not alone. It will help clear your mind from what is "felt" to what is "real". Now for this to work, you must be in a serious relationship to which you put a lot of thought in. Dont be lukewarm in love yalls or you will spend a lot of time going with the ups and downs of figuring things out.
The amount of people praising her is staggering 😂😂 her actions letting someone else in while she's in a commited relationship is disgusting. Feelings don't just develop up outta nowhere.
Feelings develop through repeatedly sharing good times with someone. If her then partner wasn't able to make her feel that about the relationship they were already in that just speak to a poor foundation. It's better to end relationships like that and move on.
Life isn't black and white. This could've been a best friend she knew way before her relationship and just didn't realize she had feelings for. Emotions are complicated. Who knows what went on.. either way, you nor I don't know, and we can't make assumptions. What matters is she was honest with her partner and broke it off, no?
@@Jewel_Screaming_Chango8387 It's always tricky. If your girl is physically attractive and the best guy friend is a single hetero male, there is a 99.9 percent chance that he is trying to smash or has even smashed previously lol. That's just the way of the jungle, now there are exceptions, but the outliers don't make the rule.
It's refreshing to see her hold herself accountable. But the feelings didn't just pop up. It means she kept interacting with the best friend while in her relationship.
why would she not interract with them? being in a relationship isnt about walling yourself off to make sure to stay with a person, thats a dumb and insecure way of thinking
@ytbpatty dumb and insecure? Ok close minded... look what happened in her story. Of course there will be friendships with the opposite sex dude... but we don't know what kind of conversations they were having. Let's not pretend that a completely platonic relationship "suddenly" made her catch feelings.
@@ilmaavirtaabeing in a relationship means working towards marriage. If you’re in a relationship while being open to be entertained by others, then stay tf out of them.
No she didn't. She chose to be selfish and leave her relationship that had 0 issues for someone new. Chances are she will end up doing the same thing to her new partner and divorce her because she gets the butterflies from someone else in the future. So no she is still a bad person.
@@HerotsLament new? Tf? She literally said that she had feelings for her best friend. The thing is, if she wasn't "selfish", she would just be wasting her partner's time.
@@Melo_Marshmello first out of all once you're in a relationship there's no guy best friends. Your partner is your best friend and if he isn't then there's something wrong. Second you don't spend enough time alone with another person if you're in a serious committed relationship to the point you start developing feelings for them. And even if you do make all those mistakes, you ignore them and let them blow over to not ruin your relationship. So yes she is selfish because she chose to not only ruin her perfectly fine relationship but broke the trust of her partner, lied to him and lead him on in the worst way only to leave him just because she found a new toy to play with.
"i don't know whats happening" You absolutely did. So you either choose the partner or the best friend. But also, you knew it was happening before too long.
Atleast she was open and honest about it. Communication makes such a difference. My girl told me she doesnt love me as a bf anymore. So I walked away. Hurts like hell. But what else am I gonna do? Cant force love.
I suspect she tried to make a move on the friend after torching her relationship and was turned down. So she threw away her great boyfriend to gamble on a one-sided emotional affair and lost. Reality set in when she returned to an empty apartment that once was full of the love she threw away.
@@PhuckYT12 didn’t sound like a mutual break up to me. Sounded like a pretty one sided break up because she fell in love with someone else when she already had someone she loved. Apparently neither one of those relationships worked out so it sounds a lot more like deep regret for making a foolish decision to me. I’m sure it was heartbreaking too but she never had to make that decision. A lot of women leave good husbands or boyfriends thinking the grass is greener on the other side just to find out the grass was just fine where she was. Hypergamy is a very real thing. And before people try to say “men do that too” I’d just like to add I’m sure some do however 80 percent of divorces are initiated by the woman and it goes up to 90 percent if the woman is college educated so I’m going by the statistics, not just making something up.
You can't help a feeling, but you can avoid situations that bring on those feelings. Don't spend one on one time with other attractive guys. It's not that hard.
guys i had that too. you have to make a choice and act on it maturely and respectfully. for me i chose my healthy relationship partner and slowly got away from the third person. i forgot about them even faster than i think i would. feelings are weird and deceiving but thankfully we have the mind to control them
@@DEMOSPUBG it’s not cheating to have feelings for someone else because you can’t control it, unless you entertain it and do something about it then it becomes cheating. That being said it freaking SUCKS to go through that, cheating or not. Your partner having feelings for someone while you think they only want and love you, living your day to day life clueless. It truly feels like you are being cheated on when you find out and you can’t even do anything about it because it isn’t technically cheating. It’s sucks SO BAD and I fear it for myself all my life.
The amount of people saying she's a good person, for breaking up with her partner after starting an emotional affair are morally and intellectually bankrupt.
At least u were honest My partner developed feelings for other girls, he stayed with me for 2 years and out of the blue dumped me saying I am weird As soon as he blocked me he posted a love post with his new gf saying cheers to wonderful 1 yr together, Then I realized he stayed with me to get a job and for money. He used my money to spend on his new girl all this time and to pay her rent. He just wanted my body cause I was way attractive and successful than his present. He had promised to get engaged to me that very year and start a new family. I was so broken then I didn't even confront him, and just left silently. Did I know he was talking to other girl all this time? Yes but he gaslighted me into thinking I am crazy.
He wanted your body because you were way more attractive and successful than the other girl? Yea, he probably left you cause your a habitual liar. People try to rank up not down when their going to move to another relationship and your pfp literally says brokebitchclub.
I always tell my boyfriends in the beginning of the relationship, “Please tell me if you fall for someone while with me and I will also do the same. I rather you be honest with me than cheat on me.” I mean truly honesty is the best policy and someone getting hurt is inevitable.
Same thing happened to me. I never physically cheated with her and I told my partner about it, but it still ended an 8 year relationship. The shittiest part is that the other person was a roommate (my ex and I lived in a collective house) so there was no real way to get distance from them and it was too easy for the feelings to get out of control. Knowing how much I hurt my ex still keeps me up at night, years later. Even typing this brings me close to tears. Emotional cheating is still cheating even if it doesn't get physical, but damn... It's not so easy to just turn off a feeling.
I would have distanced my self from that friend. Why ruin a great relationship? You never know how the next one will turns out. Plus, I've been heartbroken and it left a tear in my soul. I cried to sleep for a long time. agony I went through was immeasurable. I would never wish that kind of pain on anyone, specially someone who loves me. I would rather get hurt than hurting the person who loves me.
Literally just telling your partner how you feel is the single best thing to do. She took responsibility in a mature way. So many people just avoid the fact and make it way more complicated than it is
I think the truth is, she was in love with her best friend from the start but maybe he was with someone else or he didn’t feel the same way until he saw her with another man
@@mycollegeshirt if u r loyal to someone, u don’t develop feelings do others. U won’t let urself go down that route, u will not let it get to that point. If a friendship feels good, it feels like there is even a shred of chance that u might develop feelings for that person, u stop it. Being open and honest isn’t what “disloyal” means, maybe seek relationship counseling to understand what “loyalty” means.
@@mrlunar62 dude, that isn't loyalty. Loyalty isn't ignoring your feelings and forcing them to go away and pretending to live in ignorance. Loyalty is understanding that things may not work out and being caring and mature enough to communicate it rather than leaving them in the dark. Don't promote this false and super unhealthy concept of loyalty, it'll only lead to the worst
@@nordikkai7185 it is loyalty. How is someone loyal to other things? Like a family? A country? A friend? I may see something shinier or better in something else, but choosing to stay with the “at the time perceived worse thing” is what we call loyalty. Because u r willing to sacrifice for the companionship. That’s what loyalty means. Do u think a spy who is getting tortured is like “yeah, not being in pain rn would be good so I’ll spit”. No. The person would rather die than to turn its back on his nation. A husband (a loyal one) would rather die than cheat or leave the relationship. And do not dare say it’s “caring” to say to ur loved one that u love someone else more. That the largest most copious thing I’ve ever heard. Ur causing harm to someone, in no WORLD do u “care” for them. A relationship is about putting the other before u. If u can’t understand this microscopically tiny thing about loyalty, I feel bad for the person who r going to be ur partner. Because out of care, ur going to tell them u want to ditch them and u don’t love them.
I appreciate her honesty, dislike her disloyalty and the way she tries to justify it. Her type of person is the hardest to identify and hurts the worst when things go wrong.
@@DirtnapJack well im gonna believe her because this is the only story available and i have no reason to not believe her because she has no history of lying. If you distrust your fellow human being this much that you cant believe a random story that has no affect on you nor any effect on the party members involved, you might need therapy(and i dont even say shit like that “you need therapy” bullcrap)
@@legendofsociety796 whether it impacts me personally or not is irrelevant. OP put the story up for the world to see, so guess what? We all get to weigh in. As for this slag, how do you know she has no history of lying?! Is she your besty? There is always another side to story but go on believing.
@@legendofsociety796 you just did say "you need therapy" i'll trust my own instincts, especially when it comes to women telling the truth. Little hint.... they don't until it serves their purpose.
@@DirtnapJack if you feel that way you shouldn’t live in america! Please get out of our country. In here it is innocent until proven guilty. Since there is no conflicting evidence, she is innocent UNTIL SHE IS PROVEN GUILTY. That was the logic of our forefathers so that is my logic. If you disagree with that logic, leave my country
Me, "did you just break into my house and are actively stealing my stuff?" Thief, "ummm... yes.. Me, "well, I appreciate your honesty. Not ya know, a lot but..." It's great that she can be honest and has the self awareness that she is exactly like, what she herself describes, as "the terrible people around her". But he still got his heart stomped on after doing absolutely nothing wrong. No amount of "my bad" prevents that. But everyone is going to comfort her for "owning it" while he has to silently suffer through as no one cares. She's the villain yet we treat her like she was the victim
@@r3aux how exactly? The deifintion of cheating is to trick somebody, especially when that person trusts you; or to deceive somebody. She develeoped feelings for another person and was honest with her partner about it. Had she stayed in the relationship and concealed those feelings now that would have been emotional cheating.
