Finding Peace at Night: Maria's Recovery Story (Talking Insomnia  

How long have you been struggling? Have you had any improvement

​@@lillianyoukhana8451Lillian if you're really struggling and don't want meds read up upon Modius Sleep device by Neurovalens. Alternatively there is device called Somnee. I cannot recommend either though because I don't know about their safety. The first one is FDA cleared (but not approved).

​@@lillianyoukhana8451it started from 2020 Ive been dealing with depression, anxiety and panic attacks but it never affected my sleep. Lol. Infact I would sleep within seconds after hitting the bed and always felt reassured that no matter the storm in life sleep is one comfort that is accessible to me and I have a break because of it. (Good things don't last for long. 😭) My sleep was worsening from 2020 but it worsened in 2023 where I had complete sleepless nights on every other day starting late last year which freaked me out so much. I also developed this OCD like behavior like getting out of bed when my anxiety took over and just washing my face and then it progressed to getting up every 10 mins or so to not only wash my face but pee as well which I would force myself to do. (I dont have any bladder issues) . Fast forward to 2024 and it's so worse now because I have trained myself to pee anytime I start relaxing which meant that anytime my mind would start transitiong to deep sleep which would happen after many hours lying in bed and frequent trips to the bathroom I'm jolted awake by insane heart palpations. I'm very familiar with hyper arousal now and I get sleep alternative days. So as im typing this today with zero sleep i know that it wont be an intense struggle to sleep tonight because I'm already beyond tired. Sometimes it's worse and for days in a row I get very less sleep. 😅 (Im only sharing my sob story because yours cannot be as bad as mine. It may be comforting if you don't experience all these which nevertheless is still a struggle so your struggle is a struggle too. My prayers for you because I want no human to go through and I don't mean it as a hyperbole. This is literally one of the worst experiences that just keeps happening which feels like being stuck on a loop)

​@@lillianyoukhana8451lol Im so desperate to talk about this with anyone who's going through this that Im typing a second comment to you. About improvements : I would say I now know many things thanks to coach Daniel, alina and others which has saved me from being heavily depressed and being hopeless. I give this "monstér" as I like to call less power by simply not caring about it too much and just let it happen. Of course it isn't easy but previously I would be so emotionally drained and would beat myself up and was so hard on myself. Now I'm kinder and do let it happen. I know my brain's just scared and perfectly doing its job. Yes I would love and would absolutely give anything to get my precious sleep back but it's okay if I have a sleepless night here and there. I now understand why it happens and maybe just accepting it and taking baby steps which are in my control like not ruminating about it or cutting myself from doing or having fun I'm teaching my brain that' it's alright and nighttime isn't bad. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Pls if you have more things to ask lemme know. I wanna talk about it with someone who would get it. 😂 Also I know my responses are quite lengthy but that's how desperate i am to share it because this is my community 😂

​​​@@Sunflowersarepretty if you struggle with anxiety please check out vagus nerve stimulation you seem to have many physical anxiety symptoms. It can help calm your body down. But please look up safety of them. You can stimulate vagus nerve yourself by humming or singing but they have actual devices similar to TENS machine which can help as well but read up about them. Or alternatively just get massage device. There are also herbal teas that some find relaxing.

So it's forever gone? So what should we do now? I am not living like this forever that's for sure. Either I'm gonna k*** myself or get recovery

​Don't kill yourself please I'm sure you'll keep getting better with time ​@@Studentaccount2005

Some of my thoughts, long message here, I like to talk to others about this lol: Personally I think SCS teaches important principles about mindset which will help with improving sleep, self, and life. But to be honest I don't think for many people it's possible to fully recover in terms of sleep quality and be like they were before unless they had a minor case or are lucky. I mean I hope it is, but I talked to a lady who has been in this for almost 4 years and helps other people and though she is much better now, and her situation is normal, 4 years down the line there is still some hyperarousal which shows up as frequent nightmares from her insomnia experience and more wake ups/different quality of sleep. However, she says it gets better every year. And I know SCS teaches you to be unattached to sleep which is important but after going through painful insomnia experience, it can be difficult not to be. I think after a while if one slowly gets better and builds more confidence, they begin to care less. But when you are in the thick of it, it's hard not to care at all. I get that one or two sleepless nights doesn't matter but when it's constant and you have minimal poor quality sleep for a while it does really tear down the mind and body. By giving it attention though I am sure it is bad, so SCS is correct in saying stop thinking about it even though it's hard. It's like...do not think about your wound. They say normal sleepers have bad nights but respectfully I disagree. Sleeping little because you're stressed or busy with stuff is different than insomnia sleeping little. Like during exam period I remember barely sleeping at all but then when Saturday came I was able to crash. Lots of people with insomnia can't do that. Also there is a clinical definition not to have insomnia. Maybe a person who sleeps two hours a day regularly can be unattached to the outcome and not care lol, but that's clinical insomnia. That being said, I'm sure it's possible for anyone to at least improve their situation following SCS. Sorry for the long comment but just sharing some thoughts.

​@@leafsleafsleafs2 what do you mean bro this is just unacceptable to me bro really. I am really losing my mind I'm having ptsd now because of insomnia. I just want my normal life back I can't make any compromise I'm losing it bro. I'm hating on everyone idk how to react what to do. I'm following Daniel for 7 months, most of the time I was sleeping but with frequent awakening and I was fine with it. But recently I've lost my patience and I just can't take it anymore, I can't be calm with it anymore. I can't sleep? Ok ill just watch some netflix then I just have some fun then? I can't pretend this anymore. I'm so done with this life. I'm just 18 uk it feels like my life is ending already. Its just begining of my youthful days , I had so many plans so many goals I see other youth looking so pretty and following their dreams or passion where it's me who's so afraid to follow her dreams because she knows anything could happen anytime. I don't want a life where I don't have quality of life. I'm so done it's been 7 months to my insomnia and I'm already done idk how people survive till 20-30 years I wouldn't. I can't see others having fun in life where me always sitting in this channel hoping one day I would recover I look so pathetic like that. My body aches my brain can't concentrate. I'm so done

Hey... I hear you. What's helped me is 1mg of melatonin and reading to focus elsewhere til it hits. I used to go days. Now I sleep basically every night. 1mg melatonin liquid has helped so much ... The higher doses you build tolerance and 1mg is enough to fool the brain that it's producing it's own. I haven't built a tolerance this way either and it feels like a natural sleepiness. Then I throw on an audiobook to keep my mind at ease at well, and if you don't like books a podcast. But fr books basically solved my insomnia. The sleep anxiety is still there but when I'm in another world, it helps me distract me. There are tons of good books out there. Tons. You will never read them all. ​@@Studentaccount2005

I’m sure you’ve heard it before but I’m at a place in my insomnia journey where I no longer care. But it’s a good place to be. I used to be afraid to eat certain things fearing it would affect my sleep. Always trying to do little things to help with what was to come at night. I got so tired of the hyper focus on my sleep that I just said screw it. I’ve already had countless nights where I had no sleep why am I torturing myself during the day too. I just started going about my day doing whatever I wanted and not caring what the hell kind of sleep I got. I’m still not out of the woods now but I almost always get some kind of sleep now every night. A couple hours here. A few hours the next night. I’m not where I need to be but I’m much more at peace and it seems like my body is following slowly but surely. In the beginning I didn’t notice a difference it was more so just me laying awake all night but less anxious about it. It wasn’t until this became a consistent practice that I started noticing a little progress

It's certainly a tough place to be, experiencing all nighters, whether they be following a 'good / better' nights, or consecutive all nighters. On a personal note, I find that It's very easy to lose hope, motivation to continue/ experience doubt and emotional fatigue. I find myself in a similar situation where I can have a 'better night', then an all nighter, but also throw in nights with broken sleep etc. I think self pressure is something we aren't always consciously aware of, ie subtle efforts to control our journey. Whilst the notion of complete surrender is clearly where we want to be, its also very scary as i tend to notice my brain wanting to have some control and become frustrated when this isn't happening. I'm working on becoming more relaxed at the point where I find myself not sleeping and that I used to want a formula for what I should do when this happens, ie how much time should I spend watching TV/ go back to bed etc, whereas a recent chat with Alina provided the insight that its my brain looking to assert control and just to see how it feels each time I'm awake, rather than having a clear plan. I've also noticed that when I began to experience all nighters or even nights where its towards the early morning where I might fall to sleep, I could feel the frustration/fear/anger building. Unhelpfully, I would react in the moment as I felt I couldn't manage these intense emotions. Again, having spoken with Alina (and reading up on distress tolerance), I'm starting to take note of when these strong emotions arrive, label them, ie here comes frustration and in a slightly weird way, welcome its arrival, and most importantly, take a step away and not get pulled into its force. I've read a couple of books on how to accept what life throws up (Tara Brach - Radical Acceptance and Michael Singer - The Untethered Soul). Michael Singer talks about the reason why we struggle, ie that we naturally resist unpleasant experiences/try and hold onto positive experiences (ie when we have good sleep) and they become stored, so that each time we re experience something that doesnt match with how we want it to be, it serves to trigger these stored or repressed thoughts emotions / feelings, like a self sustaining loop. I now realise that I use to say to myself that if I could get five hours each night I would be happy, or that some sleep was OK, but an all nighter was something I just couldn't handle. My emotional resistance to all nighters began to steadily build with every all nighter experience, thus creating a self sustaining negative loop. Michael Singer mention that life will unfold regardless and that its better to allow and accept this, allow the emotions to pass through and realise that's we are creating our own struggle by wanting things to turn out in a particular way, so that when it doesn't, it only serves to disturb our psyche. Yes, we all want consistent sleep however being able to accept whatever the night brings (as Aly has pointed out in previous videos as part of her own recovery) is essentially the key (ie not being attached to the outcome). I have no idea where I am on my own personal journey (which can be a scary thought) and certainly don't want to sound like I'm in a zen like state when it comes to acceptance, as I'm not, but wanted to say that I completely understand your frustration/desperation when it comes to all nighters

@@ianquigley5070 well put. It’s not about being perfect on our journey of recovery it’s about learning our habits and responding correctly. I would be lying if I said I accepted all of my symptoms and sleepless nights with grace and ease. There would still be those nights I would get frustrated and upset I would be going another night without sleeping. However I had to recoup the next morning and get back on the saddle and try to respond better again the next night. And with each passing day it became more manageable. That’s not to say I still didn’t have my ups and downs but if you continually work at it and make that conscious effort it does become easier. The key is consistency. Is it ok to have a bad day where you respond wrong? Absolutely. But don’t let it become a habit. Get back on course and get back in the right head space. It’s also very important to give yourself grace on this journey. You are going to have lots of rough patches. You can’t make it worse by being too hard on yourself either. You have to allow yourself to go through all of the emotions.

@@James-rt7bgyou give me so much hope. My insomnia has been ongoing for the past 17 months and it keeps getting worse. I really feel hopeless

@@lillianyoukhana8451 please don’t feel hopeless. You can and will overcome this. Just keep reminding yourself you are safe. It takes time to learn to accept and be ok with staying awake at night. It didn’t happen in one day for me. I had to get to a point where I was just so sick of not sleeping that I didn’t care anymore. I had nothing to lose. Now when I go to bed I’m more relaxed because I know it doesn’t matter what kind of sleep I get. I’ve gone 5 straight nights with almost no sleep so I felt I have nothing to lose. I’m still not out of the woods I’m only getting a few hours of broken sleep each night but that’s a lot better than I was a few weeks ago…that’s giving me hope and I hope it gives you hope as well. The key is not to fight it. You’ll get there…

nah its more than that. i thought that too and didnt watch them for days (lol) and was not watching their vids but if you actually do dive deeper you'd find the coaches here quite valuable. of course this is the bottom line but it doesn't sum up their teachings 😅. you can whine and cry about it but realize that sleep is something that cannot be chased after and missing it so badly that you stop doing everything you normally do or just thinking about it all the time which is normal but understanding why it happens and the fear behind it de mystifies it and you might just realize that sleep just comes and goes 🤷‍♀just watch their videos and youll know a lot. so you may come to realize that "whining" may or may not be helpful mostly not tho

@@Sunflowersarepretty still doesn't change what I think. I got sick from not sleeping. I got into accidents from not sleeping. They try to make it small like ohhhhhh it's not big deal, that's my issue with it

@@freshdumpling I'm so sorry about it. Insomnia is no joke. Pls take care of yourself and if you get sleep rest or just close your eyes or anything that relaxes you.💕💕

Not at all. Lol.

@@joshuapierre1923 I suppose there were a few guests on this channel who are into sports or do sports so do listen them as well. 😅

Check out Naomi interview I think

Hi Joshua, as the others have said, we’ve had several guests who are athletes. I just created a playlist: For Athletes ru-vid.com/group/PL6RQ1GS7B1chXx_nu9a8__AqU8iGRDQMe Hope this will help, rooting for you

Hi Juan! We are about 30 students in each team and we have three teams, you can always check it out and get a refund if you find within a week that it’s not for you. Best!

Sorry I’m just a random person answering but it sounds to me like you’re still quite attached to the outcome (thinking about sleep schedules and worrying if it’s normal) if you just keep doing what you’ve been doing to reduce your anxiety and let yourself sleep whatever hours you or your body wants without questioning it and worrying if it’s normal, things will sort themselves out.

@stjertplug thank you stjertplug for this random act of kindness, asked well said 😊🙏

@@stjertplug thank you. I am learning to let go of the outcome, and my sleep-related anxiety has reduced. Thank you again

I've been in polyphasic sleep since November of 2022. Every once in a while I'll sleep 6 hours or so straight through. Been a student of the SCS since May of last year. Things are going better but my sleep is still predominantly polyphasic. I'm at the point now where I just roll with it and do the best I can. Pretty much living a normal life...and that includes accepting that my sleep is wonky. 😏

@@susanashley8454 thank you.