@@thisisfine4093 i think he or she mean that since she is talking about fangirls who are usualy Young girls she dressed up in a typical youthful way,usualy diferent from what u would see in a TED TALK(sorry for my bad english, still learning tho,i hope you can understand)
"Why should I hide my feelings? Because they annoy you? Or because it isn't what the boys do?" (9:20) As a woman, sociologist, and fan, this hits hard.
Don't try to feel self important by turning this into a feminist agenda. If someone is telling you to stop screeching because it's annoying you're doing it in the wrong place. I've never seen or heard of anyone say "Stop yelling" at a concert, unless it's a classical concert. If man starts yelling in the office because his football team lost, he's gonna get shushed, and if he continues, escorted from the building. You're not special just because you're a woman and WANT to be oppressed. I hope that hits hard.
reedofwater I suspect that you are not a woman, so you don’t know what the OP means. It’s not about feminist agenda or what you prefer to call it (my goodness, why do you people see politics every-fucking-where); it’s a genuine feeling from personal experience (or even trauma). Throughout my life I often feel that I can’t express my opinions and feelings for fear I’d be labeled “emotional”, and thus not taken seriously. How is relating to the struggle suddenly a feminist movement? Are others’ feelings so annoying to you, that any expression of it automatically warrants labels and attacks? Why do you feel the need to remind people that their opinions aren’t important, or calling their expression an agenda, thus invalidating it? Who are you to judge whether or not I, or any person, have been oppressed? Are you a deity or otherwise a superhuman with mind-reading powers? Don’t you see the irony that in an attempt to remind people of their humble places, you look so very much like an oppressor? But there’s at least one thing to be happy: I’m not like you. When a boy talks about his feelings and struggles, I try to listen and understand.
As a feminist fangirl, i truly adore this woman and everything she said. This hits me hard too and hopefully others who don't understand the fangirls life.
@@zs7238 Just in case this turns into an ongoing discussion I’m itemizing this for easier reference: 1. I said “feminist agenda” because the OP pulled a quote saying (paraphrase) “It’s wrong to hide my feelings just because males don’t like it.” Feminism is about females having equal rights to males. 2. I am not invalidating the OP’s opinion. I’m saying I don’t like her opinion and disagree with it wholeheartedly. The OP didn’t pick a quote that meant “fan girls are awesome!” she picked a quote that said “It’s wrong to hide my feelings just because males don’t like it.” That quote creates a Them (males) vs Me (females) dynamic. And by quoting it and saying it “hits hard”, she says she believes that dynamic is real. Feminist agenda. 3. Who’s “you people”? 4. Because you’re not “relating to the struggle”. You’re projecting your feelings and your struggle onto the video. The video is specifically about fan girls, how they express their passion, and it implies that even obsessive passion is appropriate (which I disagree with). This video is not about female’s right to be heard in discourse (ex: arguments, conversations, politics, youtube comments, ect.). You’re saying you have an insecurity about your voice being valid in a discussion or with the world at large. 5. You’re self-oppressing. Free yourself. I didn’t put her in “her humble place” I asked her not to create and propagate a feminist agenda. 6. With the points above I address why I think the OP created a feminist agenda with her quote. Now why did I “attack her” for it? Because I take issue with it. Because I hate feminist agendas. I hate feminist agendas because today feminism is racist and sexist doesn’t try to advocate for equal rights to males and females, it advocates oppression of men and I’m sick of it. 7. You’re right, I am not an omniscient god. I can’t tell how much you have or have not been oppressed. But rallying against all the “boys” because some boys were mean to you is stupid. It’s like publishing a youtube video advocating fighting back against all the girls because girls have been mean to me in the past. There will always be oppressors, there will always be jerks, it is not correct to label boys as the enemy because the jerks in your life were boys or because a boy thought you being a fangirl is stupid. I know a lot of good men in my life, some with fan girl daughters that they’re NOT oppressing, and I would hate for anyone to think ill of them just because others have had bad experiences with males. That’s sexist. 8. I hope this discussion helps you get over your trauma. I was emotional, angry, in my first response and I apologize for my anger. I should have laid out my point more eloquently. You have been emotional your entire response as well, but I have addressed you not as an “emotional” women that has no merit but as a fellow human that has points that should be addressed. I hope you can free yourself from the crutch of being a women. I have known men that struggle with validating their voice in a discussion as well. It’s not a gender issue, it’s a self-esteem or self-confidence issue. And detractors will put you down however they can, whether with your gender or your age or your looks. Whatever the labels they use, they’re detractors. Not “the male oppressors”. I bet that there are females that disagree with you as well, they just won’t call you emotional, just other things that are meant to put you down. I've been at this for more than an hour, if there is something I didn't address or you have more points to make, I'm all ears.
''You all just sounded stunning and as sane and as intelligent and as dignified as when you walked into this room" That last sentence as a conclusion! Perfect! As long as it doesn't hurt anyone, why would it be wrong to be passionate about something/someone. I'm an ARMY, I'm 28 yo, I'm a hard worker, I'm a woman, I'm not crazy. I'm just a human being, going through life, expressing my feelings.
I'm army too. It's great to be passionate about something, it's bad to be obsessed with it. It's fun to be a fan; it's a problem when you love your idol more than yourself. A lot of girls suffer from self esteem issues and part of the problem is that they're too busy loving an idol rather than themselves. Balance is important and this Ted presenter forgot to mention this.
I always asked myself this... Why do I feel that I have to hide my enthusiasm about music/performances of a group that I'm fan from people ? Probably because i'm afraid that this same people will think that I'm crazy? Less capable? Not a valuable opinion? Why do they always think this? It's sad and makes me sad
If you read enough hateful and ignorant comments from “fans” or see how they stalk stars, threaten or endanger other people most people get the impression obsessive fans are stupid and dangerous. Did you even watch the video?
You shouldn't feel bad for being a fan. We're all a fan of something. Shouldn't feel bad for having an altar or posters or other paraphernalia. The problem only comes when you're OBSESSED with something, which is to say it's having a negative and unhealthy consequence in your life and/or the lives of those around you.
It's been a year that i made this comment wow I just would like to highlight that i was not talking about those obsessive actions and thoughts. When i said enthusiasm it was just a healthy one? When you're fan of something you feel it. Anyways, i don't remember pretty much the video so ...
hiilex oh okay. i think you're misunderstanding tho cause we aren't doing it just for bts, like obviously for their birthdays we create charity projects for the members but other than that the charity is usually related to smth that armys are interested in and want to spread awareness about. like obviously the common factor between us is that we all like bts but that isn't the only factor that's driving us into donating. you can learn more about this (and maybe donate for charities that interest you if you want? no pressure!!) on one in an army (oiaa) on twitter and instagram.
"Why should fangirls tone it down? Because they're crazy? Or because our definition of reasonable is based on what it is acceptable for men to do?" *That hit hard*
Pipo Leo racist chants at football games, a man got slashed in the face with a kitchen knife in an argument over football (go to BBC news) lots of other physical fights and verbal abuse thrown left, right and centre but you draw the line there?
The Korean Drama "Her Private Life" shows a side of how fangirls/fanboys are. It shows how being such fangirls/boys get intertwined with their everyday lives as well as their personal relationships. I highly recommend people to watch this series.
@@lin_n_n thanks for that! I did not know it was any different.. I just thought that the fansite thing was her only edge but I thought she was how a fangirl usually is.. thanks for the input! :)
Yesterday i told my friend that i am (we are) so obsessed with characters who even not exist and was feeling a little bad for loving them so much. She told me that in this world if they make you happy and feel you better then why should we stop making ourselves happy by not loving them? A few minutes ago she sent me this video which define us and make us feel better as a "fangirl". Thank you so much
You shouldn't feel bad for being a fan. We're all a fan of something. Shouldn't feel bad for having an altar or posters or other paraphernalia. The problem only comes when you're OBSESSED with something, which is to say it's having a negative and unhealthy consequence in your life and/or the lives of those around you. So if it IS having an unhealthy effect on your life, or if its removal will make you go manic, you should stop, otherwise have at it.
@@reedofwater yes, i understand what you mean. And no they dont have a bad effects in my life so far. Actually i feel happy when i see something about them, talking about them make me happy. That's why i was a bit upset, being happy over unreal things. But now i dont mind, as long as it makes me happy i will love them. But you are right, if there is a bad effect to the person then its not okay to obsessed with something. thank you so much ^^
"We can all die tomorrow so why not love things while we're still breathing" really hit home. This talk made my feelings, as a woman, so justified regardless of what society may think!
“...none of us are born in US, we’re all Korean. i know that we’re not good in english, but i believe music is another language. So, if we feel the same, we are the same. To anyone that says K-POP is a bad thing- let's make them SHUT UP! - I.M (MONSTA X)
Did you take people don't love that type of music into account, and rly, part of the fandom is a bit too enthusiastic. Last time, a classmate was bullied by kpop fan, after just saying I can't recognize them. Those fans yelled at her, and implied her as "no taste", "idiot", "outdated". I would like to know actually how these fan define the standard of "bad thing" .
As an ARMY this hit quite deep cos our fandom is considered to be full of crazy 13 year old fangirls when its not true at all. (This is a long comment btw but worth reading) Majority of the people in our fandom are between the ages 20-50 and boys/men make up at least a quarter of the fandom + of course people who don't wanna have a label make up a decent portion. These people have full time jobs, families or they're still in school etc. We are an incredibly diverse fandom with easily over 15 million active fans from all around the world. Were a family full of smart and talented people and were constantly trying to learn and adapt so we can be as efficient as possible when it comes to pushing BTS to the top. I think its amazing that our fandom is basically a big family where everyone is accepted and people try their best to help each other (for example fan translators, and fan bases). It makes me feel bad that we cant really show the world what our fandom is truly about cos of stereotypes but here are some things our fandom has done. -Donated over $500k to a corona relief fund (3 concerts got cancelled people donated their ticket refund money) -Raised over $200k for charity -Organized over 290 charity projects -Raised over $1.5mil for BTS' Love Myself (end violence) UNICEF campaign -Saved thousands of lives & helped millions of people around the world -Planted over 50k trees -Matched BTS' $1mil donation to BLM -So much more We do stuff like this because were inspired by all of the charity work the BTS members do and we want to make them proud. We have different stuff we focus on for specific members so for example for the birthday of the leader of BTS we plant trees etc cos he likes nature and its done in his name. We do charity work etc in the name of BTS and sometimes the boys do charity work etc in the name of us. We aren't blindly fangirling over BTS cos they're good looking and popular. We love them because they make amazing music dipping into multiple genres & executing them perfectly & never sounding the same, their personalities arent really celebrity like at all and their music talks about mental health, economy, the educational system, societal pressures, youth and self love. They write and produce a lot of their own stuff and believe that music can break any barrier and that art can change the world. The reason they make music is purely because they want to give people happiness, hope and comfort through their music. They don't fear losing money or their fame but their love for music. They're really kindhearted and caring people & really humble about their success and they also think that were all just a big family, like our bond isn't your usual fan-artist one. They're celebrities from the other side of the world whose language most ARMYs don't even speak yet they're the people we can relate to the most.
I am a part of BTS ARMY and the way we are represented by specially US media is insane. We love how BTS always stands up for us and corrects the interviewers who call us crazy to passionate. That's the accurate word for us. Because this passion leads us to create something beautiful like fanarts. Seriously check them out, armys are very talented. This passion gets our creative juices running and motivates young people to write, which definitely helps them learn how to do creative writing which helps them in later phases of life like college applications. This passion helps us love something UNCONDITIONALLY which I know is the problem of all of humanity. So yes, I don't understand why would people attack something that gives them a home, love, support, a sense of belonging outside of their regular lives and turn it into something derogatory like craziness, hysteria or unappealing. Thank you for speaking up about how wrongly fangirls are treated and our word of expression is bad-mouthed when boys do the same for sports and whatnot.
@@fandyus4125 I'm personally not a fan of over-enthusiasm in general and fangirls fall into that category for me. So, I can understand why fangirls come of as "icky" for some people. However, I find your comment to be unfair at some points. I'm totally on board with the capitalism argument - it's known that especially KPop groups are coached for these interviews and their public comments are carefully crafted - and yes, I cringe at a lot of fanfiction like the ones you mentioned (and I know girls that wrote those around 4 to 5 years ago and are embarrassed by the fact that they did so now). Where I start to disagree is when you talk down on fanart. The thing is: Many writing those fanfictions and doing fanart are literal children, often as young as 10. For a child (or anybody in my opinion), it doesn't matter what gets you interested in something. If somebody takes an interest in art because of fanart, they will rather sooner than later move on to drawing the people in their lives. If somebody writes fanfiction, they will grow out of it eventually and soon move on to original stories. Especially when it comes to the topic of writing fanfiction about real people, many realize what they were doing later on and they grow from it as people, much like they might have grown their skills and moved on to more serious endeavors. And then there is the part of fanfiction and fanart that is simply done to attract people to someone's site… I know fanart and fanfiction can be a difficult topic but, as said, people grow from it - and that's all that counts for me. Another part that really struck a chord was your sentiment, that boys don't fantasize about getting married to Lionel Messi and that they don't build shrines. And I strongly disagree with that one. They might not build shrines but they run around with shirts with the names of their favorite players and while girls plaster their walls with pictures of their favorite boybands, boys do the same with their favorite sports team or player. While boys don't want to get married to their favorite celebrity, many want to meet their idols and how many teenage boys will tell you that they will become the next (insert their favorite artist here), F1 racer, etc? Girls dreaming of getting married to their favorite celebrity comes down to gender roles. Boys are taught to DO what they want to do, girls are taught to get married, etc. The minority of girls who are taught that they can be much more than a wife, don't become fangirls but dream of being an astronaut or whatsoever. But then again, the latter category is often seen as the weird ones by their peers. And while this is generalized, I've seen and heard these things on a daily basis when I've talked with my students about their aspirations.
Fandyus you're already wrong from the first point,, so many boy bands/groups let it slide when their fans (more specifically their fangirls) are called crazy and hysterical. i distinctly remember someone from a popular boy band stating that he hates that they have more fangirls than fanboys because he wants ppl to take them seriously.
@@fandyus4125 I wonder why someone would write such a long and bitter paragraph just to s**t on something that makes people happy. Find a hobby. Or maybe you can choose a group to stan. You will be become less bitter.
@@fandyus4125 Awww they know the origin of internet slang. How cute. In that case you should know stan originated from a eminem song and means "fan" nowadays. Shut up.
this is so amazing. as a fangirl, i can say that i now have an explanation when someone asks "why?" when i shriek because something big happened to my favorite character in a show that im obsessed with. i am so glad that i no longer need to be ashamed to love something to the extent of screaming and crying. i am so, so, so happy that this woman explained us to the world like this.
My inspiration of my Life is BTS .... And my objective is to be a part of that ocean of army waving army bomb ..... I love them because of their passion....Even though I am unable to understand them but some how my heart just can't stop beating ..... as I hear their voices filled with passion ..... Their songs fill me with enthusiasm to study even more harder so that one day...
I want to see them so baad, the tickets are gonna be on sale in a week for europe and i get such anxiety when i think about how hard it's gonna be to catch a spot and be part of that army bomb ocean... i hope for the best ;) #BTSWORLDDOMINATION
Oh my gosh! This is motivating me so much more to love the fandom, But there are some fans, especially some on twitter......The way they interact with non BTS fans really makes me sad. I've learnt so much about fandoms, especially BTS army, the good things they've done like match a billion act, supporting bts and a lot more. Those toxic fans, worst of them sasaengs (sorry if I spelt it wrong) really bring a bad name and impression on the fandom.
in my public speaking class, we had to chose a ted talk to write an analysis paper about. this was perfect for me and may or may not have given me the courage to do my next speech on my favorite hockey player :D
I absolutely loved this. Im really happy you did a talk like this and I hope that my sister will get to grow up in a world where she feels like she can fangirl over whatever she wants.
Don't take it too far, the conduct that this presenter described is obsessive and unhealthy. It's great to be a fan of something, being a "fan girl/boy" is unhealthy and the conduct discouraged. This is NOT a double-standard. A boy worshiping Ariana Grande or whatever in the same manner is also unhealthy.
reedofwater reedofwater I dont think its taking it too far. If a boy did the same I wouldn’t think anything of it. I dont see how these behaviors are bad, I think some people just get freaked out and make too much of a big deal about it lmao. Just let them have fun.
I was 13 years old at the peak of Duran Duran's popularity. I remember the passion I felt like it was yesterday. They're still my favorite band--35 years later.
Loving bts has really helped me deconstruct the shame I feel for showing enthusiasm/excitement for the things I love 💜💜💜 I want to hug her for saying this.
I think it's because of some fans' lack of respect and boundaries -- that's why people have bad impressions of them which is highlighted by the media. I think some fans are really not aware that they are making their fandom look bad or toxic, therefore becoming an anti-fan unknowingly. someone said that in fandoms that are such big in numbers and diversity that it is only statistical and probable that there WILL be a number of obnoxious people within them which should not be a generalization of what the fandom represents.
@@Julia0R That's a good point. In fact, fanatics are more common in the sports world than in fandoms. Not only do fans fight each other, there have also been so many cases of sports fans _rioting_ because their team lost or even when they won, causing thousands of dollars in property damage, injuring people and endangering the public. It's unbelievable and it usually only gets a brief mention in the news or is only reported in local news, at least in the U.S. (I'm not sure if it gets more attention when it happens in other countries but in America it usually doesn't get a media storm and widespread angry condemnation like some riots do, maybe because it's mostly white people who behave like psychotic neanderthals over a sports game.)
Love the Beatles, McFly and One Direction. Write fanfiction, make vids and fanart. Be passionate about what you love. Fangirls are amazing. I am now multifandom obsessed. Great TED talk.
I’ve always lived under a rock when it comes to the music scene and celebrities in general so I very much Do Not Get the fandoms around bands and other real people, but I’ve always been a fan of cartoons and other shows, so I very much understand how something can bring you such pure joy. When she led the group scream at the end I was highly tempted to join in but it’s early morning and I don’t wanna disturb my moms sgdjdhgdfhdgfgh but I was screaming in my heart. Fandom is a lifestyle that never fails to bring joy 🤘 this enby dude is proud to be a fan
I know its kind of an obsession if you want to know everything (literally everything) about your idol or artist(probably I do too) but Why tell a 10 year old that she cannot marry a person she love. She's gonna grow up but no one tells us who should we love or not. Yeah you go girl
First off I am a HUGE one direction and solo Stan. As well as a Beatles fan. And OH MY GOD I HAVE NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THIS AND ITS SO TRUE I LOVE THIS VIDEO
I am a fangirl and am proud! However, there is lines to be drawn with being a fangirl or boy, if it goes past the point of obsession and turns into harm that’s where I draw a line. My self rule is that I do not fangirl real life people, because the line between fantasy and reality can be blurred very easily. I knew fangirls and boys that would stalk, rage, and turn very violent when someone would bring up their obsessions. Which is why I never ask a fangirl about it, because if I personally don’t like it, I wouldn’t want it shoved down my throat lmao.
"why is it the image of young girls screaming their lungs out with excitement for a pop/ kpop star is considered crazy, psycho and scary. But the image of young boys screaming their lungs out with excitement for a footballer is considered 'normal'"?
Helga from Hey Arnold is a great example of this. She is Arnold's fangirl with shrines and following him around, but she does some incredible things with her obsessive behavior like reuniting parents and children and saving their neighborhood. I know it's just a cartoon, but you really come to love Helga when you watch the show and she is the ultimate fangirl.
This is actually a good analogy... Plus, Helga is infatuated with Arnold BECAUSE he's a good person and she admires his empathy, kindness, compassion, open-mind and he gives her hope, in a world in which she feels disappointed or cynical about most people. The reason of her obsession (although of course she has to learn to not idealise him/alienate him) is that she finds emotional support on knowing that someone like him exists.
The musical Yve wrote, FANGIRLS, has an album coming out April 30 and everyone should presave it! You can find the link on their website and every presave means that music platforms are more likely to promote it and share the magic that is this show 💖
She was so right. We fangirls are really misunderstood, we just want to support the artist and enjoy their music. But as a really big fan of a group i don't even dare to say that i like them or talk about them with my friends. 'Oh she is so weird why is she so obsessed with them.' I am afraid to show my room (full of posters), because it is considered weird and crazy.
Not only do we communicate fast, but we also spread the word of important issues and topics as well as raise money and awareness towards charities. And I’m so proud of that, just wish the rest of the world was too.
9:20 I felt this part, I was posting about zayn earlier today on my story since it’s his birthday and I was slightly iffy to put one thing bc of how frowned upon it can be to be a fan girl
I love ya,,,❣️❣️❣️❣️ let’s not be afraid to be as die heart fan of this young woman who just gave this beautiful speech, for every fan girl like me😘, love ya hundred folds
Unapologetically loving what you love without fear of judgement is what the people who are called crazy by society actually are doing. Maybe time to rethink about what is actually rational and what is not.
Whilst I agree that that women's enthusiasm being frowned upon is a double standard, the fact that she can casually say she knew a girl who said they would s**t a throat to be with Harry styles, or jokingly say they built shrine over his vomit (within a couple of hours) and try spin it as "logistics skills" and be met with an applause also indicates a double standard... People may mock + laugh at this behaviour, but they are still allowed to engage in what would be considered "creepy" stalker-like behaviour for large groups of men to do, without their behaviour ever really being taken seriously, especially with consideration to the celebrity in question. That being said I am aware that most fangirl news stories are generally just harmless displays of enthusiasm. It was an interesting talk with good points and I learned some history, but if you're self professed goal is to portray something as good, you may have confirmed your bias to ignore anything toxic.
ok ok ... I will stop to beat up JB fans (jk I'm a pacifist) but when I see someones room, and it's plastered with photos/posters of a specific person/group, than I find that creepy! regardless if a boy or girl did that ... So - at least to me - this not a sexism caused thing, at least not 100%. Nevertheless, amazing talk, love her energy and outfit! ^^
This is a perfect video to show my parents who think that fangirling those k pop boys ( BTS , exo , TXT ,) and bands like 1 d is insane and crazy and crying to meet them is just dumb. Thanks for your support to fangirls..
I respect fangirls but if they leave their boyfriends/girlfriends because they become obsessed with a celebrity and compare them to their partner and leave them that is wrong and not "fangirling" but obsession. Though if it's just being a fan and supporting the celebrity that's great
I've been a fan of my favourite band the Jonas brothers for like 14 years & in year 10-12 so many people in my grade would judge me & say crap about me bc of my love for them even I posted something on MySpace or Facebook but I got over it & just embraced it& they're still my fave band who I've now been lucky enough to meet & see in concert.
Hello I’m looking for happy fangirls, that feel understood and represented by this amazing woman! What fandom R U a part of? No juging. At the moment, for me it’s KPOP.
Guys have heroes Women have obsessions big difference i have this same discussion with my wife. she claims that me watching football and her watching the “real housewives of orange county” is comparable. its not. I am watching people play a sport that i too have attempted to play whereas she is simply being entertained by drama. I really enjoyed the speaker as she was entertaining and intelligent. but she making a straw-man argument so as so make some larger point about gender inequality.
