From Ministerial Servant to Disassociated: "A message to family men" with ExJw Spencer Clarkson 

Thank you so much Wendi for helping me to get my story out there!

Such an honorable man. Since I woke up my husband thinks I’m the spawn of Satan. I know you have a beautiful life ahead of you!

My story is exactly the same. Im also in construction. Also poor. Just fresh out of being a M.S. Also been physically sick for 6 years. Mentally sick for 5 years. All the things your guest is saying is exactly whats happening to me. I counted field time which i never did just to stay out of trouble. Lately not counting time. Not going to zoom meetings. The elders has taken note and started asking questions. Soon soon they will come knocking. But sorry i will not be home even if i am. Im mentaly out and physically out. Kind regards Wickus from South Africa. Mwahss💙

I think when Jws wake up.....instead of writing a disassociation letter....they should start raising their hands as if giving a comment and announce their leaving and why!!! That would definitely change the dynamics of the rumor mill. Awesome video

I’ve been baptized for 10 years now and probably waking up for about 7 of those and in the last week I’ve finally discovered RU-vid channels talking about all the stuff I’ve questioned for years. My wife is hearing me out and following along albeit reluctantly at the moment, but she’s on her way. I don’t have family to worry about but she has a very devout mom and 3 older brothers who are all elders and/or working in foreign territory and brainwashed to the max. I feel like I make a lot of gains with her and then as soon as she’s exposed to “spiritual material” she gets all scared again. Literally her only motivation for not living the life she wants is extreme fear; fear of a God who will kill her if she makes the wrong choice and fear of her family who would never talk to her again.

Thanks Spencer and Wendy! Spencer’s story could be mine, so many similarities. Except I’ve been fading for a few years now. The best choice of my life has been to step down, study a profession and spend more time with my wife and children. The truth about the truth can hurt, but when recovery begins, life is, after all, so much satisfying.

This will be interesting to relate to as I was twice a ministerial servant in Chicagoland after being a 20 year old convert in the 1992-1994 pre-internet era. I told my story last year in 2021 to both JT & Lady Cee on their Critical Thinker channel and with SmurfGirl Vanessa Hanson on her channel. This was after I moved to a Wisconsin congo in 2014 after my JW marriage and life fell apart in Chicagoland and before waking up in 2017-2018 where I had several discussions with other JWs about the child sexual abuse cover ups and I gradually faded away by 2018 - no more meetings or “field service”. I can sense the trauma that Spencer has gone through with this organization and JW family, especially his Mom. So many frighteningly horrid stories I’ve learned about of the experiences from born-in, raised around multi-generational JW’s with being abusively treated that are flabbergasting and abominable. Heart wrenching. I remember Theodore “Ted” Jaracz called us “elders in training” in 2005 when he came to conduct a kingdumb sinistry school at the Romeoville assembly hall near Chicago as we had a day solely for mini servants back then. Congratulations Spencer on your liberation from the high control cult we’ve been in! Heartfelt hugs of support to you and your family!

Great interview. It's crazy how that organization breaks up families

👏 WOW GREAT STORY. SO GLAD THAT YOU ARE FREE, FROM THE JW CULT.

Such a great interview. The WT/Org vilifies higher education or taking any time away from meetings to acquire skills and training all the while seeking to get volunteers with education & high level skills to work at headquarters. Meanwhile the rest of us are expected to remain ignorant & poor, scraping by paycheck to paycheck while never being adequately and financially stable. Just infuriating ! !

When I dissassociated, I made it public on social media, along with my reasons why. People in the org dropped like flies from my social media accounts, which I totally expected. But I have had some awesome conversations with many who are having doubts!

Thank you for sharing your experience. Seen this so many times. Young men used so much they don't have time to enjoy their younger years, no time to think & yes plus no time to read the bible. Thank you Wendi you do such a good job with your interviews.

“The privilege of being used by Jehovah”.When we are inside the organization we don’t even realize how abusive the language is.

I've noticed that when a wealthy or very successful Gentleman became a JW, he was definitely on the fast track to be a MS or and ELDER!!! I kid you not.

I dealt with panic attacks and anxiety before meetings too. So many times I got dressed up and ready to go, and my head/body were just like Nope!! The anxiety would go away as soon as I decided to stay home, but then the guilt set in. So glad I finally started to do my Real research!!!! Life is so much better now!!

Thank you Spencer for sharing your story. I found your story interesting and informative. I was a ministerial servant back in the 90s before moving and fading. Thank you Wendi for posting this excellent interview!

Thank you so much for this interview! You are doing a wonderful work. This is our new ministry! My husband and I ( this is his account) have been watching you for almost a month since we woke up. We are still PIMO because we have four grown children and their mates who are fully in. We are trying to figure out the next step. Your interviews are helping us make that happen. Spencer is a very courageous man and we admire the path that he is taking. We definitely will reach out to him! Thank you again!

So so SO MUCH here that I identify with. Wow.

I was so tired/depressed and wanted change/needed change. From prayers with tears and anguish, they prayers became angry and hate toward Jehovah- which I felt was greater wrong toward Jehovah. Then I felt worse. Auxiliary a lot- pioneered 2 years and the final stretch in the 2nd year I just plugged in numbers. Desperately climbing to the mountaintop to reach Jah's heart. I got presents for the children of parents who were struggling. Donated to a food bank and a KIND program/UNICEF. i definitely do not have a great income and am still concerned about own well-being. Trusting and relying on Jehovah.

Thanks for posting this interview Wendi. And for Spencer to share his story. In my opinion from 35 years in the org, 99.9% of the "service" a JW performs is to serve "men" of the congregation. For men, serving in multiple departments of the congregation or if women/men, pioneering, aux, reg, or special. For any JW that would disagree, subliminally they know its true. But would not admit it. For instance, if a person auxiliary pioneered for a month, they LOVED the announcement of their name from the podium. In s sick way that made the 60 hours of door to door preaching worth it? One of the few moments in a JW's life they are praised as an individual. If there was no public recognition, very few would commit to the increased workload. Same with the different "privileges" a man can have. They are all about climbing the WT ladder for some level of prominence. Because outside the WT they have little to none.

Feel free to over share on instagram😉

Great interview…could relate a lot.

It's frightening that the org had Spencer so run down, exhausted & understandably stressed being a new father, that a staph infection or something overwhelmed his immune system. Spencer couldn't express his pain verbally so his body cried out for him. Cruelly the organization goes hard after JWs with a lot of family in the org, because they know they can emotionally blackmail them. They have no leverage on those with no JW family, so they often leave with no problem.

Thank you Spencer for sharing your story with us viewers. Thank you Wendi for your continued activism exposing this cult.

@5:27 COBE = Coordinator of the Body of Elders (in the congregation)

It’s funny how they put the poor sweet elderly couples in a pedestal as a great example of spiritual and simplistic lifestyle. While those sweet elderly couple are being exploited and put on a pedestal, they are actually struggling financially… They don’t have tablets or smart phones, they don’t have a retirement plan and their children that are already grown up take care of them.. While the elder that has a nice home in a nice neighborhood, nice car and great paying job from home are always feared cause they are strict about every little thing. Little do a lot of people know that elder left the organization to pursue a career and came back to organization to brag about how they left and “opened their eyes to the truth and TRUST in Jehovah to take care of them financially.” It just so hypocritical and disgusting.

Hearing of the criminal type harassment of those elders who show up at front doors trying to rerecruit and reinitiate make me SO mad! I had that happen in 2018 and when my non-JW Aunt answered the door telling two of these elder clowns I wasn’t home, one of them called me by phone to attempt coercing me to meeting with them back when I was fading out and had spoken out about the JW sex abuse cases among other issues and they desired me to either come back or “meet face-to-face”, which I interpreted as a blackmailing coercive threat and I never capitulated to that. My JW wife/ex-wife died suddenly later in the year on October 22, 2018 and as I was getting ready to go to Chicago the next day to help her family with funeral arrangements, the cult elders briefly showed up at my doorstep stalking me out and I told them my wife just died and they were like robots in response staring at me. I requested they respectfully leave and they haven’t bothered me at my front door ever again as of yet!

What a lovely (and very strong and honest) young man! He has helped me so much with his story. Please convey my gratitude to Spencer for being brave enough to tell it. I wish him and his family all the happiness that is now well due to them. Ex JW Joan.

Looking fine as always Wendi.

Thank you Spencer .. so much valuable insight you have shared here .. most of all how important family is ..because you will never get those years back with your wife and children .. sadly I am paying for that as I did not wake up until my children left home .. and thank you Wendi .. you are a fabulous interviewer.. and editor ..as you kept this succinct and relevant .. thank you for your hard work! Hugs from Australia 🐨

What do you call a lot of witnesses living in one neighborhood? A cult-de-sac

Such an amazing interview, very relatable! Would love to share my story someday🖤 PSA never read the Bible cover to cover either 😂

Loved this, thank you both ❤️

Exactly - JW's offer nothing to help us navigate life or the world in general. It was awful having to go out into the world and make a living indoctrinated as a JW. I made so many mistakes and ruined relationships because of "the truth". I was lucky I worked hard and my work was my lifeline until I aged out of the trama. You never really age out completely but I can say it does get easier with each passing year. Thanks for the video Wendi and Spencer.

I remember as a kid being *terrified* that people would learn the things I like, because I had no idea who would try to get me in troiuble for it. I didn't even want my parents to know, because they were such push overs. my dad grew up on lord of the rings. it was one of the pillars of his childhood. butt an elder talked to him about it *1* time, and it was banned from the house for almost 10 years!

Thank you so much for sharing🙏💫♥️

Great video, Wendi. Thanks for sharing, Spencer. I appreciate your positive outlook. Your wife and son are lucky to have your level headed perspective. All the best.

Loving it !

Spencer is so smart. I have no doubt he will build for himself and his family a wonderful life.

It sounds like 80 percent of your life mirrors mine. As a former ministerial servant, they will burn anyone out if you let them. It's never enough, and you won't even get a thank you. I never met splane, but I met Morris. He's a first-class ass that thinks his shit doesn't stink. I never felt like the holy spirit appointed me, but because that is what we were taught, I just assumed I was. They look at works for appointments And nothing else. The rich seem to run the KH in my experience. The other shoe could drop for me at any time. I have really pushed to wake up some of my family. I'm not sure if I'm ready or what will happen. I'm backing off from my activism for a while. The one thing that really gets under my skin is the assassination of character. Just because we believe differently or have learned some things about the organization that they don't know, we are vilified. I just don't understand why all JW kids get beat so much I think most of us were good kids. Beat with ping pong paddles and home made paddles. I do construction work too I understand working while sick basically, if you can stand, you go to work. My wife has the same anxiety in large crowds. As for disassociation, My understanding is when one disassociates, they are given one week with no chance to appeal, but if disfellowshipped, they are given two weeks in case they would like to appeal the decision. Thank you, Wendi.

I was baptized at 12 by pure force from my father. I literally was crying in the hall telling him I didn't want to be baptized. He got so upset threatened me with punishment no tv. So I go over to the brother tears still kind of in my eyes and reluctantly told service overseer I wanted to get baptized. That was the beginning of my hell. Between my parents being abusive and using the religion as a punishment to me really f****** me up. They used to make me stand in front of school with full suit and watchtowers in hand until everyone went inside them I would go in with a suit on and briefcase. It bothers me a lot because at 12 I knew I hated this religion so once I got disfellowshipped it hit me hard because I never asked for this

🙂 Spencer is my cousin. Lost touch about a decade ago. So proud of you for sharing your story. Super chuffed right now. Welcome to your newfound freedom. Yes, totally agree, don’t underestimate what good stepping into your power and putting this out there will do! Wendi, this is the first time for me seeing your channel. You’re an excellent interviewer. Love love loved this! Keep it comin’.

I should mention…I had to watch this in small bits. Because it was so triggering

Oh man! Those JW have no love and just use people lots of cliche in the KH too. When I was attending the JW meeting I was told not to go to the gym cause men are there. I am single woman and I laughed at the 2 elders told me that!! I told them men are everywhere ... the store, my job,Etc. I told them I can control myself...I can control my own self I am over 50 years old. Then another time I was asked if I had HIV ds. cause divorced from a worldly man. I told them I never had any sex diseases and could not believe they ask me this!! Then I was having lunch with old high school friend man for lunch . One of the elders walked in and demanded to know who was this man! I told him a friend and this is none of his business. i was also told not to read anything except WT stuff. I just laughed cause I did not read porn or violent stuff. I ignored them!!

I'm now 48 and I left the jw's when I was 17 in high school as I didn't want any part of it. I wasn't really spiritual but I did believe but I just didn't give a shit and didn't want to be apart of the organization and give talks, go on field service, hold the mikes, go to meetings and I hated it. I was pretty much a rebel without a cause as I just wanted to live my own life and so I did and it broke my parents because my dad was a highly respected elder, my mom a pioneer, and my younger brother baptized etc. so I was the black sheep and I stuck to my guns. So after time my dad left after waking up, then my brother and finally my mom and we finally became a normal family. I have never spoke to another jw after I left or interacted with anything jw until last year when I happened to see a jw ex witness and checked it out. No biggie then forgot about it. Then Chris Stuckman posted a video on how he left the JW religion and I was like WTF? He was a jw? So I saw the video and I checked out other related videos and then soon discovered a TON OF VIDEOS of ex jw's coming out telling their stories and it hit close to home with me because all these stories were ME! Back in the day so I checked out all these channels and I didn't realize that when I left back in the day...I still had to baggage on my back that I didn't finish and I cried, I yelled, and I just relieved myself after all these stories that I related with. All these years I never talked to anyone about my past except my dad and brother but they hated the religion as much as I did but just never looked back. So after watching all these videos it has given me closure so to speak and it made me feel good watching and listening to all these stories and I actually feel happy here with this new community with ex jw's and I love you all as we were in the same boat suffering. I thought I was finished but this ex jw brought some new life to me in a good way to keep on moving forward and working harder to do better in life and I just feel like I have a NEW BATCH OF FRIENDS once again. Being an ex jw is crazy. Networking with ex witnesses and sharing stories is a blessing and it feels good just shitting that last turd of the cult we lived in. I shat that turd, wiped, flushed and took a shower and now living a better happier life. All you channels out here, people that came here for help, etc. I love you all. Don't know you but I love you. We all ate from the same Troff... as JT said from his channel Ex Jw Critical Thinker. A+++ Thumbs Up!!

Temperature conversion: -30°C = -22°F

JW's privileges are very weird setting microphones, be an attendant,, setting the chairs. I think they are more jobs. How about doing good: like helping some one who is sick, visiting elderly etc. Here is an example from Nigeria that gave me chill down my spine: for a rich Watch Tower, basically to kill a member that could have saved. Wesley's Africa TV: " Ailing Jehovah's Witness dies After Refusing Catholic Church Donation".

Spencer I always had issues with the Noah and the flood story. I just never understood why Jehovah would save animals and kill babies. This just never sat right with me as a JW. The elders in my hall would say it's not Jehovah's fault it's the parents who didn't listen to Noah and save their kids from destruction.

Dude, that elder that was talking to you for an hour and half was counting time!!🤣

Wendi, how can we contribute to your channel?

How typical that they couldn’t get a shepherding visit but have all the time in the world to hunt down potential lost sheep. Our experience was the same, asking for shepherding for ages, asking for one of our kids to join the school over and over for years with no results, but they’re on you like stink on poop when you commit some minor misstep.

You should check out Zach Bryan if you like country music!

when they dissassociate ppl, they announce it at the next tuesday meeting. they waste no time. the idea being the quicker, they do that, the faster everyone in their community would disown you/shun you and start following you around wherever you go until the worst happens. at that point, when they put the pressure on you, to take your life, they can't get the blame for it

Sorry I missed his wife’s status. Is she DA too or still PIMI?

Legit thought the guest in the thumbnail was Tim Dodd the Everyday Astronaut.

Well... well welcome to JW's '' HELL - PARADAISE '' poor man 👨

Wendi you checked on me when I was down. I appreciate you. I'm working on being up. You're dope.

wendi, can you please give us the name of the exjw who got into heavy drugs, does voluntary work. i ld luv to get in touch wth hm. thx a million

Hi Wendy it's Nick from Arizona. How are you?

My coworker gave up trying to recruit me for that cult.