The Tyranny of Mormon Patriarchal Blessings | Amanda & Shaye Scott  

Thank you for sharing ☺️🐱😊

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm happy you are still here, Shaye, and learning to accept yourself. Amanda, it's clear you care so much for Shaye! ❤️

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Thank you so much for sharing. 🤗💙

Thank you so so so so much for sharing this and “putting words to it.” as Margi said.

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@SRSO What beautiful souls they are

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So Amazing!

I hope your whole family has embraced this great couple❤️

I feel for anyone dealing with depression & I’ve gone through it myself. The Lord loves you good Sister & knows your heart. I left the Church when I was 16 because I had no testimony. I was being dragged along with my parents testimonies & I never had a spiritual experience. After High School I had severe depression where I was in an out of Mental Hospitals. 20yrs after leaving the Church I about ended someone’s life. I hated how I felt & was scared charges would be placed against me. I didn’t know what to do & if there is a God I needed Him now. I took a dusty BoM off the shelf & I prayed. After I prayed the BoM was opened & there highlighted was 3rd Nephi 11:29-30. If was as if the Lord was speaking to me telling me I have the spirit of contention from the devil & such things should be done away. After I read away I felt the hand of the Lord remove all that anger from me. There was no charges on me & I went back to Church. It wasn’t easy going back but I started receiving all kinds of blessings. I listened to Elder Holland to pray for the right help & the Holy Ghost put a thought in my mind that I needed to get off depression meds. I told my Dr & even the Bishop but no one believed me. I fasted & prayed if I needed to get off meds. I strongly felt it was right & the Lord helped me get off of them. I found out I’m allergic to most meds & they make me violent. My Therapists was confusing me & I would take their council turning it into a Gospel Principal I understood. My one Therapist is a member of the Church & I would teach him. He told me I’m right but couldn’t teach me that in a Government funded facility. I stopped seeing Therapists & I learned how to council with the Lord. “The Lord is my Therapist & His Gospel are my Meds.” I start with a prayer to help me figure out my troubles & I start searching Scriptures/Liahona to read that could help me. Then I start writing in a note book & I’m amazed what I’ve written. I know it came from the Lord & it’s like a talk I could give in Church but it’s for me. I got my Patriarchal Blessing & I was amazed what it said because the Lord is the only one who would know me. It is my Liahona & the Lord took my Patriarchal Blessing away from me once because I was upset & wanted answers. I had a thought that I needed to pray before getting it back. I asked for forgiveness & softened my heart. I went back to the spot I kept my Patriarchal Blessing & it was back. I wanted to know if this girl I was dating was the right one. She came into my life when I was trying to go to the Temple. The Lord warned me about her & I wouldn’t listen. She was pulling me away from the Church & I got arrested. I prayed to not go to Prison & the Lord saved me. I prayed before facing the Judge & a thought come to me what the Judge would say to me. I thought that was wishful thinking but it came to be. There was a lot of witnesses in the court room to witness the miracle. The Judge lowered his head & for some reason he couldn’t get himself to send me to Prison. That literally saved my life & helped me get out a horrible relationship. I did make it to the Temple & had spiritual experiences there. I’m still not married & 50yrs old. Life hasn’t been fair to me & I still have my struggles but it’s a lot easier to bare when I’m faithful to the Lord & follow him. I go to Church every Sunday to keep the adversary at bay. He is real & has put roadblocks in my way. I don’t do well when I skip taking the Sacrament & it’s fuel for my spirit. I even read Scriptures everyday that brings pease to my mind to fight off evil thoughts. What has also helped me is the Churches free classes of Self-Reliance Emotional Resilience. I took a Self-Reliance class with a nonmember friend for Find a Better Job. He was blessed with a new job & I started thinking they need one for depression. I took the first class when it came out & meet a wonderful friend there. We been friends for about 5yrs & he checks up on me every Sunday. What a blessing to feel loved & have someone to talk to. I also attend Singles activities for 46+ that also blesses me. Who knows if I’ll find a Wife but I know the Lord wants me there. I know the Lord Loves us & is there for all who open the door for Him. I have a strong testimony & I will always follow Him. In the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

You are not alone sister! I appreciate your sharing.

Way to embrace new concepts/learning and seeking to truly understand how others are different and unique ☺️

Be careful not to leave one cult just to join another.

@@davidparker9676 never been in any

I'm glad I'm not the only one who had that association xD

She is mourning..:(

She is beautiful

Oh I always got this with black long hair. What the hell is wrong with people ? Why don't they yell Barbie at every blonde they see? Yes she is lovely. I always got Elvira or Morticia but personally I think they look pretty good😊

Since you left the church so recently, keep yourself grounded and take care of yourself. You will have a range of feelings. A lot of ex-mormons get black-pilled and go down a self destructive path. You have been traumatized by the church and the deception and manipulation can mess you up on your road to recovery and getting back into a healthy state of mind is important.

What video of theirs are you referring to? TIA

@@mikeninjitsu4665 it's called: why we left the Mormon church: A coming out story" by the channel "Great Scotts"

My patriarchal blessing was definitely special and unique. It told me I should take courses in school that would help me serve others. It told me to get married in the temple and make nice LDS babies, and then eventually die and go to heaven where I would get to serve others some more and also make some more babies. Clearly the voice of God Almighty speaking through a sacred octogenarian just for me ❤

I read the blessings of mom and dad. I was laughing and angry at the same time how they were basically the same. I call them Mormon horoscopes; intentionally vague and universal platitudes. The older I get, the more ridiculous this whole religion origin story is.

Question? Isn't the Patriarchal Blessing much like the new name? The same in that as I understand it, every female who receives a new name in the Temple are all the same on any given day?

@@shmataboro8634 I didn't remember anything from mine but I felt it was a bunch of mumbo-jumbo at the time. My mom told me I should request a transcript to refer back to throughout my life to show how accurate it was. I remember the televangelist looking octogenarian couple's hairdos and watching the cassette recorder. Such a weird childhood that I can't relate to normal people as much as I should. I guess being raised in a cult has some lasting consequences.

@@tsnow5445 I think it's about the overall lack of creativity and individuality. When you're a bee in a hive, does your name or purpose really matter?

So sorry that you are experiencing this Jessa. I struggled a lot and still do finding what I like to do for myself. Just know you aren’t alone!

This comment pretty much sums up my life 😅

It's a struggle at first, but once you start finding things, it gets to be more fun. I didn't enjoy learning about things like canning in Young Women as a domestic responsibility I "should" do for my future family, but as my own person, it's a much more interesting idea to me when it's centered around healthy eating, sustainability, independence, saving money, and feeling accomplished. WAY better reasons! (I'm still not doing this, but the IDEA if it has changed for me 😂.) I hope you start unlocking your joy and satisfaction soon. Wanna know the first thing I remember doing as an adult that I did just for enjoyment and was proud of finishing? ... Coloring a page in a coloring book. 😂 I literally mailed my parents my coloring and laughingly asked them to put it on their fridge "like old times."

I fully understand and want to let you know how you feel is not "wrong". Playing piano was a curse, and being played in leadership positions eventually made me disassociate from working/managing aspects of my own life once I left. However, there is light at the end of the tunnel, to harp on a cliche. Jessa you are not alone in how you are experiencing life post-Mormonism, and it sucks, but by even making the comment you are growing! Keep on keeping on friend, I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to comment here and I hope you find things you can enjoy.

@@fabulous_finn7810 This is honestly so so validating. I removed my records almost a year ago, but it's taking so long for my brain to unlearn all of the toxic thought patterns. I recently fell into the deepest depression I've ever experienced. I think it's because I'm just coming out of the mission mindset of needing to be at 100% productivity output all the time. Now I literally consider it a win in my day if I eat anything and a huge win if I brush my teeth. I'm sure it's temporary, but I just want to sleep for 80,000 years. Thank you for sharing. I forgot how good it feel to have people that get it. I'm just now learning how alone I've been feeling... Thank you.

Amanda here ☺️ If you do an internet search for therapists who specialize in gender identity in your area, this could be of tremendous help. There are many resources as well as a community of people who understand and want to support you. Sending you love!

Try watching RU-vid videos by DR Z PHD, She does a lot of videos on gender dysphoria. Her videos helped me when i came out to my wife. Coming out to our wife's as transgender can be scary, but find ways to over come that fear. Find yourself a gender therapist in your area and be honest with them. I wish you the best.

@Shattered Mormon So much of the "dysphoria" is because, to be honest, as a culture we never knew we had options, never knew there was a spectrum. As a former psychotherapist, my current feeling is that this is about something even deeper, an evolutionary aspect of us as humans, spiritual beings & the needs of the soul differ greatly from the needs of the "Ego". There's a continuum of descriptors. I suggest you do more research & learn about all the gray areas & you may learn even more about what resonates with you. No matter what, just know you're perfect just the way you are and seek out healthy support

Thank you all for your kind words and recommendations. This podcast + time ate at me and drove me to tell her. It was like a strange compulsion. But telling her went so well! I am definitely one of the lucky ones! Thank you for helping me have the courage to be a bit more authentic in my life.

@@shatteredmormon5005 This is way later after you posted but I hope you are doing well.

I am sad to say that this is a story I have heard many times. I am sorry you had to endure that.

I'm so sorry!

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Sorry what you had to go through.

If you don't mind me asking, what's your grandfather's name? You can absolutely decline to answer for privacy's sake, I understand. He sounds a bit like the few stories I've heard about my own great grandfather.

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It seems to be worse for women raised in the church because we're taught to believe pleasing others is our role in life and within the church. When you're taught to be sweet, compliant and servile to the men from birth on, it takes a lot to unwind that. If you're already the people pleaser type, this upbringing can be really destructive. I left at 13, am in my 50's and still find conditioned thinking. It's like they install an operating system that runs in the background that changes how you think, completely. It's craziness.

I love the way Margi speaks, the care she takes with everything she says, and the warmth she radiates.

Thank you for your well said and beautiful reply! I agree that all of us are suffering in some way or another. It's a beautiful thing to be able to name that suffering as well as share it with someone - it's very uplifting

God doesn't make mistakes, dearest sister. He loves us as we are, but we need to realize that it's just another sexual sin....Praying for you.That you find your really true self...in Christ Jesus!!!😢🙏🙏🙏🙏

@@roseleenax4728 If god doesn't make mistakes then he created me the way I am. And the way I am is not a sin.

@@roseleenax4728 I realize you've probably been taught this but it's a horrible thing to communicate that to someone whose life is not in the same format as yours. These are fully real situations, not at all a type of sin or mistake or problem. In my 70 years I've seen great strides in our society's finally coming around to see this. I hope you will see it too, that variations in sexual identity just has nothing to do with anyone's God or government or choice. We are born with a personality that includes many facets, one of which is sexual identity, another is maybe a talent for music or art or mechanical understanding, with our physical characteristics such as height, skin color, shape of our noses, and so on. We don't choose any of these, rather they are there with us at birth and we come to understand how we'll fit into the rest of the world with our big nose or talent for music or having male genitals but a very real sense of that being wrong for how we feel inside because it's different from most of the other people we know. Bullies are people who attack others who have some type of difference. We teach our kids not to be bullies regarding their classmates. None of these human qualities are permanently changeable, contrary to what a few people want to think because it fits their conservative world view. I could dye my hair or have plastic surgery to change my nose but we don't have any way of changing our sexual orientation. How would it be if you had been born into a world where you were in a tiny minority of some situation where most people didn't understand why you were that way. Because none of us had a choice about how we'd come into the world. Please find it in your heart to accept facts that you hadn't been aware of before. You simply weren't taught to realize that these real life situations are a core part of life for a percentage of the population all over the world. Until recently, we know these people have always existed everywhere but we didn't discuss it very much. It's easy to see how some folks just didn't know any better. They assumed that if it wasn't the usual way, then it must be a mistake or a problem. No, it's just a difference. Nothing wrong with being different. It's only a shame if people treat you badly or even kill you because of your differences. In some countries of the world, it's against the law to be gay and the police put gay people in prison or execute them. In the US people used to kill those whose skin was dark. Let's aim for more understanding. This isn't something to pray about, any more than you need to pray about Greenland being north of here. It's just how it is.

dude for real! That was my experience too! I was so excited to get my blessing and pretty bummed afterwards. I still clung onto it for years after, desperate to squeeze all the validation and guidance for my life that I could. I wanted it so badly.

This is so so true. Speaking as a non-Mormon rape survivor, yes, if your self-worth is tied to sexual ‘purity’, it would be even more devastating and traumatic than it was for me. And I have, indeed, survived and thrived, but it took a long time.