Get Too Obsessed When You Like Someone? WATCH THIS! | Matthew Hussey

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We’ve all done it. We start to like someone and suddenly we’ve built a whole narrative around what our future could look like with them. They feel like a rare antidote we’ve stumbled across that will take us out of being single and into the relationship we so badly want.
The issue is, in the process of doing this, we rob ourselves of the ability to enjoy the experience-too stuck in our heads to be in the moment.
We also run the risk of self-sabotaging as we try to see danger where there isn’t any.
In this brand-new video, I share an easy and grounding phrase you can use RIGHT NOW to calm yourself down if you find yourself in this situation.
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Опубликовано:

13 июл 2024

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Комментарии : 767

@basicbase749 2 года назад

People with inner child issues get obsessed too quick! It’s their inner child trying to attach to a rare found attention-giving figure because the inner child is so deprived of love/attention, they cling. Always remind yourself, you won’t hand over your inner child self to another person so quickly, it’s your child(your child self), take care of it yourself.

@constance6761 2 года назад

Good one to remember, thanks 👍

@basicbase749 2 года назад

@@constance6761 you're welcome!

@mtahir9181 Год назад

True 🥲🥲

@cindyfern Год назад

Wow that last sentence

@v666s Год назад

👍..

@babysab8013 Год назад

Since I used daydreaming as a form of escapism from the reality of my childhood, most of my dating life has been spent in my head instead of actual relationships, so I appreciate this topic being discussed. It's a wonderful thing to be self aware and work on yourself

@biondna7984 Год назад

Hallelujah and amen. As I'm almost 69 and have a hereditary predisposition to live 'til 100, even able and coherent, it's important to me to make my remaining time as rewarding and authentic as possible. So I'll keep working at my emotional sobriety. Respecting myself feels better even than a man's admiration.

@RoseJacksonHRJ Год назад

Me too. I use day dreaming as a coping mechanism. I've realised I often end up suffering from limerence, which is terrible because it's not based in reality.

@cindyfern Год назад

Damn I thought I was alone 😔 we sad

@googleanti-speech7618 Год назад

Damn I definitely relate to this.

@karenjudd5183 Год назад

@@cindyfern I'm a member of that club. Greetings! So it's because of the attention that we become Clingy that is sad !! This dating stuff sucks !! Fun, but SUCKS TOO !!

@HerLoveJourneyy 2 года назад

First, we need to understand why we are obsessed in the first place. We experience some kind of joy or highs with a person which forms strong connections in our brain. Our brain doesn’t like being sad or depressed at all. It likes those highs and misses them. “Its not the person but the feelings we crave.” We don’t have that chemistry with that person for a reason and we know it. But that person set a benchmark of highs we have had. It is natural for our brain to miss and want those highs. And that is why, despite all the negative experiences with that person, we still miss the beautiful memories we had. We move on when we meet a new person and experience greater joys or highs in life. Then we really don’t miss the past joys as they become insignificant with respect to the new benchmark. Now, this greater joy or high doesn’t have to necessarily be with a person. It can be something else - like any achievement that makes you happier. If not achievement then your progress on your path. For that, we need to focus on our goals and make a conscious effort to feel better. Working out is an add on and scientifically proved to improve mood. We should also spend time with our old friends and indulge in hobbies to feel better. Most importantly, we should think rationally about that person and remember the bad experiences - not to hate him/her but to get over him/her. Hope it helps.

@enajfrayre3665 2 года назад

Thanks! That’s very true. I just got over with it, thinking about the things that would not work out for both of us. It’s scary to be with an A personality. And if that person doesn’t even fall to the person that you really want to be with. It’s a blessing to separate with this person earlier than let it drag for long. It’ll be harder to forget. But I’m glad I’m progressing.

@rasulsamad5860 2 года назад

Thanks. We'll said. It's tough when they showed initial interest first and stop. Didn't know it was science behind this....I want said better Didn't know it's basically a chemical problem

@itsRudeGal 2 года назад

This made perfect sense!

@davdav8152 2 года назад

@@rasulsamad5860 that’s the puzzling part… when they were all over you then all of a sudden it’s like you don’t exist lol

@kingearth3672 2 года назад

The feelings we feel are for the person, so same thing

@thomad4 2 года назад

Abandon all EXPECTATIONS...just have fun, and see what happens

@KillerbyePVP 2 года назад

Easier said that done, but im trying my best atm 😅

@bekind3050 Год назад

It's really hard, but we can do it.

@rossmaks2587 Год назад

Man best advice, but it’s not so easy haha

@catchcourtcourt Год назад

How though? What are the steps??

@MsCatalicious 2 года назад

This is my weakest point when it comes to relationships. I idealise so dam quickly! It makes me illogical and vulnerable. I hate it!

@ANDJELINA Год назад

My date literally said this to me. That I idealise too much, that we should have fun and see where it goes. There are no guarantees in anything. Just go with it and see where it goes. I hope I didnt mess it up yet...😬😶

@alkintugsal7563 Год назад

Same here infatuated way too quickly,I hate it as well.

@Lorac-wb7io Год назад

I’m not alone I feel better now . Thanks for sharing. I hope next time I can control my mind . Definitely this was a huge video advise for me . At my 42 still single , still don’t find love . 😕

@justinstoddard4782 Год назад

“We’ll see” immediately made me calm down

@TheUltimateBreakupCoach 2 месяца назад

And this is how anxious attachments occur … you could be quite secure within yourself. Meet somebody that you really like and all of a sudden they might pull away slightly in your mind and then you get super anxious and then you become super needy. They then become avoidant because they’re panicking and you become super anxious!! When you first meet somebody always remember they are turning up as the best version of themselves just as you are are … it takes time to get to know somebody so really try to pull yourself back and take it day by day and get to know the person for who they really are … ❤

@fabs6925 2 года назад

After been on many dates with several people , I know now that I’ve finally managed this. I just enjoy every date to the most, I try my best to be myself and I NEVER expect anything from the other person as I understand is way too early for them to actually know if they really liked me . We can’t expect a man to live up to our imagination. Stop expecting a man to behave as a boyfriend when they just literally met you 1 month ago🤷🏻‍♀️

@salisumusa6991 2 года назад

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@benazirrsathik991 2 года назад

I needed to hear this quite a time back 💔

@faithkalima1388 2 года назад

@@benazirrsathik991 shoot! Me too 😭

@MistaTurdburgerz 2 года назад

I will 😅😅😅

@zz-ic6vy 2 года назад

This sounds amazing. What you did to get at this point?

@biondna7984 2 года назад

Huge issue, for me. "Limerence," I've learned to call it: obsession, or infatuation, when one conjures up an entire person and relationship out of ONE meeting. Then you scare the crap out of the person you're attracted to, and drive them off. You THINK you might grow out of it. I'm finding out, at re-entering the single world, that without conscious efforts to stay rational, I slide right back into it. In my case it comes from people-pleasing in my childhood, which backfires horribly when one is an adult who needs self respect. Thanks for bringing it up.

@constance6761 2 года назад

Same, incl the ppl pleasing tendency.

@biondna7984 2 года назад

@@constance6761 Currently I'm getting some relief by re-assigning the purpose of my "limerent subject." I've decided he is NOT here to torment and humiliate me; he's here to remind me that my late spouse was not the last of his kind; that there are more out there; and if I cultivate my sobriety and character, I deserve to meet at least one more. I've been behaving myself very well, even with the limerent suffering. I feel more hope than ever that I am derailing this tendency in myself, by acting as, and thus becoming, a woman I really admire. So that others will too.

@lionrugissant 2 года назад

@@biondna7984 Wow you said this so beautifully! This also called me out too 😂because I went to an event on thursday and met and talked to a lot of people but I met this one guy and we clicked so fast and I see him again tomorrow and my mind has been going crazy wild not necessarily imagining scenarios too much but i find myself very impatient in wanting to see him again and I’m trying to calm myself down lol. But for my past crushes I do tend to place them on this perfect pedestal and I think that comes from my tendency to people please all the time, so much so that I hate rejecting anyone because I hate to make them feel ashamed or ruin their spirit… sigh people pleasing is so hard to unlearn loll

@skooflefloofandfriends4557 Год назад

Yep same here I have just stopped dating for a while we'll see how that goes. I love the time and energy I have to focus on myself now. I don't have to worry about being the perfect one for someone else. I am doing what I need and want for me this year. Taking a step back makes me realize and even wonder how I justified giving all my precious energy to men who I barely knew. That was the worst form of abandon ing myself....all I want to know now is what does this girl need right here. All day every day. Nothing else is more important than that ❤

@janebraun4482 Год назад

True and sad that we scare them off. I just have moods where I obsess, then I calm down, but too late, they are likely not around,

@RAE-homely-fairy-of-the-light 2 года назад

So true, that obsession and crush thing makes us batt shit crazy 🤪 it's that addictive dopamine rush we latch onto and it can be dangerous! We must calm ourselves, give it time and focus on our own stuff amidst the emotional excitement....better to think 'will see', thanks Matthew Hussey!!!

@pris_6969 2 года назад

You're so right, I think it's the brain chemicals that we get addicted to! There's more to it than just the thought process.

@user-cf4jj8gb8p 2 года назад

@@pris_6969 they say its as addictive as crack cocaine.

@RAE-homely-fairy-of-the-light 2 года назад

@@user-cf4jj8gb8p yes or sugar and chocolate 🍫 😋

@RAE-homely-fairy-of-the-light 2 года назад

@@pris_6969 yeah sure is, our brains kind of don't know how to handle it, so we sit on a weird euphoric cloud and are on a high in fantasy land lol....I mean it is a wonderful feeling...but reality kind of disappears....just keep saying 'will see' that's such a great thing to say 😊

@vaniaramos385 2 года назад

Is exactly that... 😩 I did that... Wen we are in love or something we do only stupid things! And then after all we are not like that... And the everything goes apart...

@themasterspiece5669 2 года назад

I needed this. This is so true. I started laughing so hard when you said the friends hype them up like they just got engaged that was hilarious😂😂😂😂

@philbrutsche8928 2 года назад

Matt, I'm a guy and everything you have said in this video applies to us just as much as it does to women.

@mrpopo5097 2 года назад

That was me with this girl 3 months ago. Once things started moving along, I got too obsessed and attached too fast which ended up me being hurt a lot when we had to end it

@michaelojeh3907 2 года назад

Why’d you have to end it

@Gemborina 2 года назад

Yes please.more info

@prithvibumia2941 2 года назад

Used to be obsessed with one of my closest friend. Was into her for a couple years. Later found out she kind of liked me too. All of a sudden all that potential energy that had built up in my mind, the unreal ideology of spending a future with her, all that came flooding in. Having these projections really made me anxious of losing her. Something that wasn't even real, was completely made up in my mind is what was stressing me. I started having expectations from her in a way that she could fill up those ideologies in mind. Dont get me wrong, I made her feel very special, like a Queen so I did deserve the best. However those expectations brought out a needy, constantly worrying, insecure basically an ugly side in me. She had just started liking me but the projections I had built up after liking her for years made it all 100% complex. She simply couldn't keep up and I was pacing trying to chase that " future with her" which was uncertain. All we ended up doing was fighting. Needless to say we had to end it. I don't have any ill feelings towards her. But it sucks to lose my closest friend.

@jonathanjimenez2480 2 года назад

I'm still trying to find a way to still be friends, it is not easy thought, this story of her I had made up in mut mind was keeping me out of living the moment and I ended thinking I wasn't worthy of her Because of anxiety, coming back from there is hard, but I'm learning how to take out all the guilt and shame and put myself together, we need so much self love so we can give it it out without expectations, that's just enough sometimes believe me, hope everything's OK now!

@KingRandor82 2 года назад

I confess especially right now this IS VERY difficult for me to do; either I'm emotionally invested, or I'm not. Probably a good thing I'm not really doing any shopping at this time.

@alexismelendez1915 2 года назад

Yup totally me as well. Lol

@sarahjoon4498 2 года назад

I genuinely realised a few months back that I had put myself through this downgrade procedure! I've been dating someone for a month and, first and foremost, I don't talk about it much with my friends because I'm not sure yet. Second, I tell myself that this is a dating situation, and I should not be obsessed with him or anyone else. And it actually worked. Now what mattered is that I learned to control my mind and emotions.

@JuliettaRabens 2 года назад

I know this obsession feeling is terribly painful, but it's also refreshing in a world that can leave a person misanthropic. It feels good to know that even though it is painful and not always optimal, people can still think and act like puppies.

@humblydedicated3754 2 года назад

The phrase: "We'll See", lasts a life time...for you will never know if the love you gained, would last your lifetime (until death)...so...it puts you back at square one: regarding one's fear and anxiety

@moneyearn5391 2 года назад

You just me saved from ruining my last 10 days of college from obsessing over a girl doesn't have high interest in me, i am just imagining a marriage with this girl, thank you my brother

@meredithbarrett8395 2 года назад

This is seriously the most helpful dating video I’ve watched because I’m so guilty of fantasies, projections and filling in of gaps. You teach how to level the playing field by the concept of someone investing in us and a healthy level of give and take, most importantly in a way that’s self-loving. Thanks for relieving all the unnecessary stress and anxiety I’ve been putting on myself for years. You have such a knack for getting in people’s heads! Love you and your videos Matthew❤ I signed up!!!

@chickennuggets1837 Год назад

good stuff

@GabrielFerCav Год назад

I'm the type of person who rarely ever gets attached. However, whenever I do, things never turn out well. To me, liking someone is so rare that when I do, I do it way too fast, way too hard. I find myself coming back to this video for the second time. Thus, this is the second time I get attached to someone and feel like things turned sour, then started obsessing over it - things like they don't seem to respond the same way anymore, they don't seem to prioritize me as much, so on and so forth. However, being the second time I caught on to it in the first week of it happening, whereas the first time took me 6 months of being played with to realize what was going on :) So yeah... I'm still screwed in the head, but I guess I can call this improvement.

@Tula_Darkwater 2 года назад

My close friend gets obsessed with every guy she starts talking to. Then when it fizzles out, she gets her ego bruised and blames them. This video describes her.. It's hard to watch her do this every time.

@heatherthurlby8851 2 года назад

Divine timing this video flashed up in my feed. I am obsessing over a man that is not even free. I want to let go & make space for an available man & not obsess over a projection I have created 💪🤗

@Tsjoosie 2 года назад

Uhhhh same!! The thing is.. He's actually constantly messaging and calling me and wants to meet. So confusing 😭

@lylyb6815 2 года назад

Hey hey'. Been kind of there too... You don't love the person.. you just gave her power over your emotions.. its called attachement and you have to work on yourself to free yourself from it

@sheilajones8028 2 года назад

I’m in the same situation and it is incredibly PAINFUL. When I manage to break free, I WILL NEVER EVER give my attention to a man who is not free.

@nataliatothemoon 2 года назад

right literally

@SairaCSU 2 года назад

I struggle with anxious attachment and OMG I felt like You were talking straight to me. Thank you for this.

@xFlared 2 года назад

I never found the middle ground. I'm either completely obsessed with someone or I have no interest. I believe I have an anxious attachment style and because of it have been friendless for 15 years and never had a relationship while I'm 29. It's very strange but now I got into this mindset that because I'm so socially inept and atrophied that no one would want to spend time with me, so I self sabotage at every convenience. I feel that I'm just not a social animal as many people are and I'm trying come to grip that I'll live like this for the rest of my life. Of course it is very peaceful. That's the good part.

@melonpan88 2 года назад

I've noticed that guy in the gym. He looks like a really decent adult man. Even though we haven't talked yet, our eyes have met a couple of times. This has been going on for several days/weeks and I got hooked on that unknown feeling that I get whenever I see him. It makes me so joyful. But it scares me a bit because I'm not used to flirting and I can't control that giddy feeling he gives me (I'm enjoying it though, so strange!). You know, I'm that head-in-the-space, happy-go-lucky nerd girl (sometimes with a mental age of a teenager) who was never good at this stuff. And I thought to myself, 'Why would such a decent guy like him be interested in an awkward girl like me?' He should be dating (maybe he is already dating) cool ladys with tattoos and toned bodies and a great sex appeal (I don't have any self-confidence issues, I'm just a realist.) Anyways, I guess my interest in him turned into obsession (maybe?) because I keep thinking about him and lately he appears even in my dreams. Oh my...I feel so helpless. But your video helped me a bit in dealing with my little obsession. ^^ Luckily, it will disappear once I stop seeing him due to my work (which starts next week). girl

@dr1flush 2 года назад

It's all about boundaries and no expectations. I just did exactly this with a girl I saw potential with , let my fantasy take over and caused the pull back .

@montserrattorresnadal5087 2 года назад

This happens to men too?!!

@martialmusicman 2 года назад

@@montserrattorresnadal5087 All the time!

@LiLxWEiRD0x 2 года назад

same here :( any tips on how to get them back after the pull back besides space and time?

@dr1flush 2 года назад

@@LiLxWEiRD0x don't chase em replace em .my only advice

@rudey0n10 2 года назад

@@LiLxWEiRD0x yea gang once that shi happens she lookin at you differently. Best to move on tbh

@EdenHilton Год назад

I really needed this I looked up “how to stop obsessing over a new potential relationship” and this hits it right on the head. I’ve been toxic in the past; Obsessive, pushy, jealous… I’ve been cheated on and I am self conscious with my appearance and can’t imagine someone having true feelings for me I am mentally destroyed And this person is really everything I’ve ever needed in my life, complimenting my insecurities Having the same hobbies Balancing each other out Etc etc… The way you calmed your tone when you said “we’ll see” made me feel a lot calmer … I need to just be myself and go with the flow I wish I can come back to this comment in 3-6 months from today and tell my past self what happens. Or give myself advice… I am so stuck in a loop and I hope this ends up working and i don’t sabotage it like I have many many times before

@linfrommdl Год назад

Any news?

@cesg7749 Год назад

It’s also good to take a second and do some breathing exercises when you feel your mind running. The inhale 4 seconds hold for 7 seconds and exhale for 8 seconds for about 25 repetitions helps to calm your mind down when you feel it racing

@EdenHilton Год назад

@@linfrommdl he lives with me now but we are broken up, we jumped into it too fast and he tells me he loves me more now than he did when we first met - but we are just taking it one day at a time, he’s the first person in my life that buys me things and doesn’t expect anything in return, not that it matters but it’s just the little things I notice - although we’re broken up we still are semi exclusive, we don’t like when the other talks to another person as more than friends- I can’t tell if that’s toxic or not but what I do know is I feel secure with him and I know he feels the same with me- the one thing tho is that I think I have more feelings for him than he does me, BUT I won’t doubt At all that he has strong feelings for me because the moment there’s an argument or anything like that he expresses his feelings toward me and just is protective over me and keeps coming back when he doesn’t have to (metaphorically as well as physically …altho he just moved in, cuz we were spending every day together and I told him that he should just stay with me instead of with his roommate) Idk To sum it up, we’re not official but we’re together and we’re closer than ever before The downside is I get jealous really easily but I don’t express it much, I keep it to myself because I know how unattractive that can be Sorry for any typos I have a broken hand cuz he ran me over last week Lmao It was an accident tho I swear 😅 we’ve shared so many experiences together since I left my comment He met my parents and family and I’ve met his and they tell him they love me for him But ultimately, we aren’t together anymore because we both agreed we jumped into it way too fast and it’s time to take it slow and see if this is something that can work out in the long run. It’s scary honestly but it’s all worth it

@EdenHilton Год назад

@@cesg7749 thank you I’m gonna Try this next time I feel it coming 💙

@EdenHilton Год назад

@@linfrommdl btw seeing that I left this comment 4 months ago was pretty shocking just now, I didn’t even realize it’s been that long I had to do the math We met august 22 and started dating September 1 and broke up October 1 Only one month dating but 5 months together

@stijn366 2 года назад

This is exactly what I am going through atm. Thank you so much for giving me a realistic perspective on the situation. It reassured me.

@Ramesh-xf9nv 2 года назад

I follow a reciprocation rule. Only show the amount of interest that the person your interested in is showing. If its very little then show little. If its a lot of interest, show a lot but not all.

@salk2419 2 года назад

I recently got to know a guy who wanted to sleep with me and tried to guilt trip me when I didn't. His real character was revealed and when I declined he showed it. It takes time to get to know someone. Casual sex and moving too fast is Dangerous. You never know a person until you get to know them, you could be sleeping with a psychopath or abuser.

@LamZL1 2 года назад

I've caused too much hurt to myself being obsessed with this person... and I couldn't shake the feeling that it felt like a one-sided affair.. I think this vid really helps me see it for what it's for... gonna temper my emotions from now on and wait. Thanks for the advice, and I guess.. "I'll see" where it leads me too

@CaitlinMaharg11 2 года назад

So relatable! I got this way with the last guy I went out with. I refer to it as a "case of the crazies" and whenever I get this way it never works out because I'm not loving myself or living in reality. I realized I have stuff to work on with this last guy and I'm taking a break from dating to just focus on me, myself, and I 💜

@rexwillhite4751 Год назад

Great video I'm going to send this to my son who is depressed and shattered after like two dates with this girl that he met recently. I love how you broke it down into layman's terms and put into words things that we never even think about while pursuing somebody we think we care about and want to make a long-term relationship with. Very articulate brain there man

@hindrashahadji1489 2 года назад

I always say "we'll see" to peole, and I still get obsessed xD and like you said, i can't bring my true self after fearing to loose the relationship... but I fight it cause ... we'll see

@AFC9311 2 месяца назад

“We’ll see” I already feel better saying this over and over again. Such a simple phrase that depressurizes dating situations which I used to think of as high stakes

@ninhbac04 2 года назад

share this with your friends that are looking for someone. we need to live in reality and not our imagination when we choose this other person as our partner. Don't fall in love with potential

@misslanapaulford 2 года назад

I am sooooo completely guilty of this.

@XochitlYm 2 года назад

It’s tough when you’re making them a better version of themself in your own mind. Be willing to walk away. It keeps them off the pedestal.

@alexithymia6288 2 года назад

It's very beneficial to your own heart as well as the other person's to not be investing 100% from day one. There has to be more left to discover, and I loved the line you said about seeing if their positive personality traits turn into their true character or if it's just a performance on a date. Well done 🤘

@alexthearmy 2 года назад

The way even RU-vid knows in which situation I am right now and suggests this...

@MoniqueCarmack 2 года назад

Oh gosh! This video was calling me out. I have such a problem with fantasizing about how a relationship could be and I get so wrapped up in that I don’t see the red flags or I get so excited and obsessed and if they don’t treat me how I pictured them or I worry I will lose their interest and my anxiety gets triggered and it is a mess. I am learning to calm down and live in the present.

@aenigmatica8 2 года назад

In honor of Mother’s Day, my mom ALWAYS reminds me to slow down, even after a fantastic first date. 💕

@Etherealvioletco 2 года назад

“We’ll see” 💜

@UnGEr911 2 года назад

this really hit for me as a man, i get so excited and give myself expectations even when i shouldn't have any! I'm definitely guilty of the things he was saying like telling my friends about the person and when it doesn't work out then my friends will ask "what happened to the girl you were talking to?" and I feel guilty every time because I get too excited. Thank you for this video, t's nice to hear this stuff at times, especially when I'm at the point where I want to look for a loving relationship

@shodan198 2 года назад

It takes about 90 days for someone to show who they truly are

@candyce6233 2 года назад

Wow. This one video of advice just saved me at least $300+ in therapy appointments!! You made it make so much sense to me. I’m a 42 year old woman married for 22 years now. And tho I wasn’t obsessive with my husband, I definitely was when I met my half brother, when I was 34. I came with so much expectations and fantasizing of what our relationship was (not sexual) that it ruined what could have been. I portrayed the ugliest version of myself when certain expectations weren’t met on his end. I felt like we had to make up for so much lost time. But he lives in NC and I in Texas. Both with families and lives. But I just kept feeling like I was the only one putting any time and effort into our relationship. Anyhow just wanted to mention ways this can effect other relationships besides just between lovers and daters. This video is much appreciated 👏🏻

@cptpowerpuff 2 года назад

What a legendary person you are, everytime I'm in any doubt I come to your wisdom and charisma, and recharge. I'll never be angry/bitter as long as I keep trying to improve - Thank you Matthew

@betiboo251 2 года назад

My dating life sucks because even tho I go on many dates, I am not attracted to the guys I meet. This is so frustrating! They may be good looking, kind, family orientated, having a good job and bright future ahead but... I feel nothing, n-o-t-h-i-n-g! Many times, I'd tell myself to give it some time and do not give up on someone after just one date. Second date is usually a torture for me, I literally must convince myself that I should give it a go. There is never a third date as I can not do it. The worst part is, these guys do not get a hint that I am not interested and they continue to text/call and this is so annoying. Especially, when there is nothing interesting in their messages... How are you? or What you're doing? They just seem very desperate, getting hooked on too much too soon or simply having no life of their own... On the other hand, when I finally meet someone I am attracted to, it turns out they're just looking for a fling. After 2 years of being single, I dated someone for 2 months and was so pleased every time he texted, called or came to take me on a date. I even met his brothers, he also moved closer to me. I kept it cool, still learning if he's even a husband material and the right one for me. Not much time passed when I called him out on something, he was sorry and promised to make it up to me. He didn't. Soon, I called him out again on similar thing and I distanced myself. That's when his attitude changed completely. All of the sudden he was like ''I'm a single wolf but I'll come around if you need someone to keep you warm''. I said it's a deal only losers make and I cut him off.

@ayumisae6864 2 года назад

Good for you that you cut him off, what on earth was he thinking?

@betiboo251 2 года назад

@Laura UK I went to summer party few weeks ago and met an educated, successful and very aware of her worth woman. We talked about men and she said: '''okay so you want kind, ambitious and hot man, good guy with an edge... in this case I need to ask you this, are you ready to share? Because many women want this man''. I have many options but I crave to have just one person by my side, with men is often the opposite- when they see they have many options, they would explore rather than stick to one.

@salvadorramirez4114 2 года назад

I'm a very easy going, calm, open and mature guy, so when a women says "we'll see" it is such a turn off for me and it usually indicates they like to play immature mind game rather than being upfront about their feelings. I understand IT IS NECESSARY when you seem desperat, but if that's not the case.... Just make sure you use "we'll see" in a playful flirty tone😘 and smile😬. Then he should melt

@wanguimumbi5538 Год назад

I have been the queen of self sabotage in the past. I work so hard to self preserve and end up projecting and pushing them away before they F me up.. lol we live and learn

@salmapeace7469 2 года назад

So true, I've always been that kind of a person. This is going to be so helpful in my future relationships

@Jenn-mx4ym 2 года назад

Love it! Powerful post and your words are like a double edged sword. Cutting away the crap from the truth! I sure do believe getting to know someone before you can make a decision you are sold on each other and you can see your future together. I also have to say, trusting your intuition when you know you know! Then allowing the friendship to grow organically & with intention & with mutual investment for it to progress. thank you & grateful for you sharing your content and your master classes! Be blessed & loved 🙏🤍✨

@aliciapatience6754 2 года назад

THAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNKK YOOOOOOOOUUUU! 🙏 This is EXACTLY what I needed to hear! My anxiety has already shot way down, just from this video 😊 These 2 little words, "we'll see" will be my mantra from now on 🤗

@maanvis81 Год назад

Dude, you are hitting the nail on the head. one of the things I suffer from the most is the 'betrayal of love' ie... the positviity that being in love brings, that betrays me when things don't turn out as positive as I hoped. thanks for making this video

@ririzamel285 2 года назад

Matthew, I find your videos not only helpful but very touching to the heart because youre not just giving tips or advice but also helps heal. Thank you for helping us see from everyone's lens how to establish a good, long and lasting relationship and to also see our worth as a woman. We can only see from here how your parents raised you well. The values you possessed is truly ineffable. To me, you are an epitome of being a GREAT GUY.

@Marscompany 2 года назад

I totally caught myself in what you described when explaining these hurtful mindsets and could learn a lot, thank you so much!

@tinaphilavong9292 2 года назад

Omg this is exactly what I’m going through right now. Thank you for this video it helped a lot. I feel like because I’ve been lacking love and attention from my spouse that once I encounter someone who actually shows me attention I become obsessed for this person.

@nicolebogda1482 2 года назад

So true, in any relationship in all areas of life. Even if you have known the person a long time. Self-sabotage is a real thing! I’d love to se some on rejection sensitivity disorders and setting harder boundaries.

@teodorasavova2913 2 года назад

Matthew, what a kind, generous and loving human being you are! I just want to say thank you, even without what value you give to all of us, you are amazing and I wish all goodness to you, be healthy, safe and loved, you are an angel! Much love from Bulgaria 💖

@whiskyfoxtrot8915 2 года назад

As a man this advice is excellent, we similarly get caught up and project those powerful emotions and future scenarios. Thank you 🙌

@kenGPT Год назад

This is basically obsessing over the idea they are the perfect match even though you haven't figured that out yet. You just imagine that in your head.

@LiveOutsideNow 2 года назад

Perfect timing for me

@daniellehughes2922 2 года назад

Same, I was really getting amped up 😅

@sunnyfawn13 2 года назад

Thank you!!!! This is exactly my current situation!! I needed this today!

@LG-rw6zf 4 месяца назад

What this and his “Take your power back” video. Absolutely enlightening and the way he describes it, it all makes sense.

@krupalprajapati8605 2 года назад

You're literally saving lives! Thankyou so much!

@preacherno 2 года назад

19th April is my birthday. Also, I am a man. I would, however, have loved to join your session. Three years ago I moved out after 35 years of marriage and a few horrible years with cancer. I was suddenly surplus in my own life. I have loved watching your teaching. Although I’m male I think quite a bit is valid even to us. And, who knows, maybe I’m ready to start dating again. It’s almost 40 years since last time. (Yup, I’m really that old.)

@dee2022uk 2 года назад

Go for it Victor, never too late

@redheels3248 2 года назад

35 years of marriage plus cancer? Are you sure you are not the real life Heisenberg? You are the danger!

@angeline6995 2 года назад

Wishing you all the very best!

@philbrutsche8928 2 года назад

Everything Matt says is valid for men. It helps understand what women go through and understand what we see in the real world

@j.c1574 2 года назад

Never met someone before with the same birthday as me!

@AnnMoses 2 года назад

thank you Matthew I can't stop watching your talks everyday though am passionately doing same in my little corner but I tell you I must watch you every day to get me stronger thank you Soo much for having you on this space thank you really for all the wisdom impacts .

@Thismumcan 2 года назад

This is perfection on so many levels - thank you

@ashwinirk1442 2 года назад

Thank you for sharing this. This is a reality...much needed this advice 🌸

@karilawson6196 Год назад

How did I not know this about myself?! This was spot on for my love life or lack there of! Thank you so much! Please continue with the sort of clear and precise content!

@Mira20153 2 года назад

Matt is really the best! His videos helped me so much to see right through my patterns. It put me to the next level of my personal self development. 👌💝 Originally, I started to watch his videos "to get the guy". Funny enough, I did not find this advice, but learnt sooo much about myself and this process brought me right back to my (improved) self. This is the biggest gift given. Thank you, Matt! 🙏

@ericafitnurse101 2 года назад

Omg i have been dating this guy for 3 and a half weeks and you are literally describing my exact thoughts and emotions right now!!! This video couldn’t have come at a better time

@mirandabrunskill7755 2 года назад

Projection...Transference...Limerence....Idealisation....I've experienced intense infatuation with certain individuals since early childhood. I think it is because my mother died when I was 4 and I'm from a dysfunctional, trauma bonded family. I'm only now starting to gain awareness of this pattern. Putting someone on a pedestal, which happens automatically for me, I don't DECIDE to put someone on a pedestal, it infact overwhelms me. I'm tired of this pattern now! I'm 46 Matthew's advice helps , he explains things in a clear way.

@Zita-dk9tp 2 года назад

Thank you so much for yesterday on line session. REALLY helpful for me 🥰

@Thislittlejo 2 года назад

I totally needed this!

@Seemstazz 2 года назад

Somehow, Matthew always put out the exact video that I need at that exact moment. Lol idk how you do it Matthew but thank you!

@Billionaires_Muslimmotivation 2 года назад

Your coaching helps so many girls and women. Thank you Matthew.

@Nate-uj1ff 2 года назад

I'm a dude and this I needed to hear. 10/10 advice.

@JustJaySama Год назад

In my months of working on myself this is probably the best piece of information I have gotten

@morsal4590 2 года назад

Thank you for this video, I catch myself doing that so much.. More videos like this please!🙏🏼♥️

@marciamilesramsey6405 Год назад

Thank you for identifying feelings I couldn’t find words for, much less understand. You hit it spot on! 🎉

@l.f2789 2 года назад

I had to stop the video to write GRACIAS. Big thank you for this, the work this guy is doing is amazing and sooo helpful, a lot of people need this, I need this...the mind travel to places we believe sometimes and it sooo important to have people here that knows so much about human behaviour and mind tricks... Thank you for this for real, is incredibly useful. ❤️

@ryanpatterson9526 Год назад

Fantastic video! This is exactly what I’ve been doing with someone and it totally set me up for failure and disappointment.

@discoveringmyinnerme2023 Год назад

This is so true and relatable. Thank you for this. This makes so much sense and knocked some senses.

@saaramohamed8921 2 года назад

Omg perfect timing. I have borderline and I can very quickly attached.

@SweetandMellow999 2 года назад

Thank you Matthew for this video. ❤

@baileyspack3973 2 года назад

I have been divorced for 3 years after more than 20 years of marriage. What I have discovered as I tried to dip into the “dating pool” is that I’m becoming obsessed with how much I miss my husband.

@Tomezilla514 Год назад

This is one of the single most valuable videos I've seen regarding relationships in general. Thanks for this advice, Matthew.

@mathewkeipert6021 6 месяцев назад

Thankyou for this scarily accurate video of what I'm going through at this moment with a girl. I'm going off looks alone atm and know almost zero about her. I've reigned it back, taken stock and calmed down after this great video.

@vanessarodrigues5686 2 года назад

This video verified everything I was feeling about a guy I’ve started to see. This helped me so much ! Thank you Matthew ❤️

@angelawanjiku8820 Год назад

Hey! How'd this go? Hope you don't mind me asking :)

@naimam3976 Год назад

how did it go,did it work out for you?

@HisBelovedQueen 2 года назад

You have the best timing! Just what I needed!!

@hurainejaz7472 2 года назад

How truly and deeply you wake us up..👍👍👍👍 . you are doing amazing job and your knowledge is great

@justanotherseeker4235 2 года назад

Firstly I needed this video at this time actually!!! "We'll See" definitely my favourite phrase!

@zitatoth2333 2 года назад

I'm so happy to find your channel and your advice are very helpful to me. I'm actually start to give your advice to my friends and so often I said "You know Matthew said ..." haha it's funny,but I really like the advice and it's works. Thank you for that ☺️

@rayadams7653 2 года назад

Again wonderful advice, thanks Matt

@bobxbaker 2 года назад

spot on, can't tell you how many troublesome people i've dealt with that projected an image of me that was fabricated by them. it's never the same thing too, it's always based of their first impression of me which is always a ludicrous caricature of a person. i grew out of it, i just hope others would at some point do that too.

@JenniferTijssen 2 года назад

Thank you so much for this advice, I needed this in my previous relationship and will be sure to keep it in my heart for my next relationship.

@thematthewhussey 2 года назад

You’re welcome Jennifer!

@Angela-po7cr 2 года назад

Men just destroy me.. Wrong reasons other girls interest no support can't do not interested they want to disable me

@Angela-po7cr 2 года назад

I M not looking. dumb guys I don't even like as friends come.. no support come to waste my time more pain

@kathat3526 2 года назад

when.you broke up with ex and meet someone else, yes

@kathat3526 2 года назад

yes, most of things is fantasy, its not to be too romantic, I am 39, was alone mostly, and not in.tge relationships, and yes, I have still problems with that. Its important to love yourself first, build a career etc.