Grieving Without Believing 

Thank you for this. I’m just coming to terms with my agnosticism, and I lost several family members over the past year. My sister was murdered last summer, and the preacher at her funeral preached a eulogy about how it was “all good” and quoted the scripture that says “all things work together for good to them that love God…” Meanwhile, she had been shot by her boyfriend in front of her son with two other children in the other room. How TF is any of that “good?” Then, her killer went on the run for 7 months. When he was caught, all people could say was “God is Good!” “God’s timing is perfect!” Well, actually, his timing would have been perfect if he stopped the fucking bullet from entering my sister’s body. Yet, if we openly question these claims and statements, we’re the assholes.

Why should I worship a God for solving a problem he created and who then threatens me with eternal damnation?

I just realized something. The story where Adam was kicked out it's because Adam was simply foolish. He wasn't evil or cruel he just didn't follow orders. It's like heaven is a place where only those who subjugate themselves fully to god can be there. Not by the fact if they're kind or compassionate.

_"God doesn't force anyone to love him."_ Yet willingly subjects them to eternal torture and unimaginable suffering for simply not doing so. Do you not see the problem here?

The irony is that the ideal of Heaven is made to appeal to people's greed and selfishness. They want everything they could ever desire instantly handed to them, and they expect that to be their reward after they die just because they believe in it hard enough. They don't care that everyone they have ever known that existed outside the control of their religion will be tortured forever, so long as they get their personal mansion in paradise, they're happy.

Why do I feel like when they're explaining what heaven will be like, that they're selling something? It's like car shopping

Last year I had a friend take his own life. He also happened to be gay. His family abused him his whole life. When he passed they hired a pastor for his funeral who didn't talk about him but made it a point to preach the whole time and said something about "redemption" and "accepting God". At an athiest, gay mans funeral. I literally just laid my head back and zoned out for the whole thing. We still talk about messed up it was.

Not believing in an afterlife is the most freeing thing for me- it allows me to value those I love every moment I get to be with them

"This life is not our home, this world not our home, it's only temporary." This shows what a self-focused ideology religions with an afterlife can become. People who follow these beliefs become so obsessed with earning a good afterlife for themselves that they neglect the world. Millions of human lives will follow ours, and we have a duty to continue to take care of the planet, and fight for just and equitable societies, for their sakes. Earth won't stop mattering when I die, just because I won't be around to experience it any more. It isn't all about me.

Lmao, i will always have the reply of "we're already in hell. The only heaven we can attain is the world we make for those who come after us" But I'm not religious in the slightest

What i always found funny is this idea that "believing in god makes you a good person". In my experience it tends to be the opposite at least for the vocal ones.

Sorry for the spam, but as Nietzsche said in Ecce Homo : "Christianity devalues the human possibilities, the human world".

When I became a non believer a lot of my anxiety about death left me because I no longer had to think about my grandpa and other unsaved relatives roasting for all eternity.

RE: houses in heaven "And the best thing of all, it's tax free!" Yeah, sounds like something these guys will love.

My mom passed away a few months ago. It was tough and I still miss her greatly, but I heard something far more comforting than any christian dogma could be that helped greatly. See, we're all born from star stuff. Every btu of energy that she put out in her life still resonates in the universe. And not a bit of my mom is gone, her matter is just less orderly. It's weird but I think that is a comforting thought. In the end we are all one with the universe.

The pastor at my father's funeral preached about the evils of evolution and also went on a tangent on how tsunamis and other natural disasters proves that God's love is real.

They hijacked my sister's funeral. It was out away from Utah where Mormons are regarded as freaks. None of her family lived in town. The bishop took over and made her funeral into a lesson from the visitor's center at the temple. They even told the Joseph Smith Story and the Plan of Salvation. My father and all my brothers and sisters had traveled long distances to the place and we had to grieve together, but apart from the church members . We remembered her life and her kindness, and tried to cope with the hole she left in us when she died and the guilt of how many years it had been since we had last seen her, but the church was no help at all.

"Everyone is going to die, some day it'll be your turn... That's not really a choice." I take that as a challenge.

One of my least favorite things religion taught was that people who died of suicide would go to hell because it's murder. I really don't understand that. If you actually did love someone and you found out that they were hurting themself then wouldn't you want that person to have help and therapy? What rational being would throw that person into prison? How can anyone say that that monster is a loving god? Wouldn't an all powerful and loving creator set aside a special place for that soul to heal mentally and emotionally? What are Christians supposed to say at a funeral where one of their people dies this way? I'm so glad I don't believe in that fairy tale anymore.

my uncle died just last week. he impacted me and my childhood so much, letting me listen to his old records and letting me watch him paint. his funeral was spiritual bypassing at its best. i had no chance to grieve, because the message of “he is in a better place now and we’ll see him soon anyway” was shoved down our throats with every other sentence. i still don’t know how to grieve if all i’ve ever been told is that death is neither sad nor an end.

We don't even sentence rapists, child molesters, or murderers to an infinite punishment. Awful and horrific as these crimes are, they are still finite. Even when the punishment is death, it's only one death. And, hell, we offer them last rights so they can go to heaven in the end. Infinite punishment for a finite crime is evil.

I distinctly remember asking my fifth grade catholic school teacher what happens if we get to heaven and find out some of our friends or family went to hell. she told me that god would make you forget them so you don't have to feel the pain of knowing they're suffering. I don't know where she got that from, but it was the most unsatisfactory answer I'd ever heard.

When I was a Christian I felt like there was something wrong with me because I didn’t... look forward to dying. Like I feared death even though everyone was always raving about heaven. I didn’t want to not experience things on Earth like going to college and getting married, but because everyone was always telling me that heaven was so much better, it made me feel like I wasn’t a good enough Christian because I feared death and the rapture. I also wasn’t really excited about heaven because like, gold streets and mansions, sure, but are there good books? Will I be able to play other songs I like besides those praising God? Nobody close to me had died so there wasn’t that to look forward to, so overall heaven felt kinda bland. And because I felt that way I would question wether or not I was a “true Christian” which in turn would make me fear than I would go to hell when I died and would have to live out the tribulation if Jesus came back. Now that I’m an atheist I feel no guilt cherishing this life because it’s all I get, and when I die there’s no fear of hell because there’s no evidence of it. It’s a lot better than what Christianity teaches in my opinion.

Off topic, but the Family Guy heaven chair shortage bit always kills me

This conceptualization of heaven sounds like a scam MMO's promises on Kickstarter lol

Honestly if there is an afterlife I hope it's just being a ghost. Yknow? Like I like it here.

I've always found that argument of "I'm gonna burn in hell if I don't repent and become a Christian" to be incredibly repugnant, like you're not selling me anything worth my time if the sole reason I should follow someone is to avoid a negative. I've had episodes of suicidal ideation, the concept of an afterlife and having to continue my existence even if it's not the same as our current one is horrific enough and always comes off as a fate worse than death if you're the kind of person to advertise the whole "god is good and you will burn for eternity for not worshipping", all you're doing is giving me further reasons to face god while walking backwards into hell

My grandma died recently and it’s been very hard for me. This video helped a little bit thanks for that.

When I was a kid, I asked my dad what Heaven was like. He said that we’d spend eternity praising God. Now that I’ve grown up, my idea of Hell would be the constant, eternal existence of having to stroke his fragile ego lest he cast all the free-thinkers into Hell for not conforming. I’d rather be in Hell having a good time with people who think for themselves than having to spend eternity with the likes of people such as Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson.

I just found out about 15 minutes ago that my Grandmother died. This video really helped me. I'm not religious at all, but I hope she's in a better place.

My deconversion started because the love of my life is an athiest. I couldn't fathom heaven existing without him...

My pastor made it clear that because I had feelings for the someone who was the same sex that my grandfather, the man who raised me ,wouldn’t have excepted me in my bisexuality. And that when I’ll die I’ll have to watch my family be in heaven while I burn in hell. Then this guy tried to get me to turn my life around and all that crap! I went to him with in trust and that honestly started my hatred for going to church. I’ve recognized that he was the bad guy not all church.

I'm sorry for your loss, Mr Poelman.

When my friend committed suicide, there was everyone at his church there. I was so completely pissed at how everyone, including his parents, talked about how he was burning on hell.

*"Knock knock."* *"Who's there?"* *"It's me, Jesus... Let me in."* *"Let you in why?"* *"So I can save you."* *"Save me from what?"* *"From what I'm going to do to you if you don't let me in."*

"There are just some kind of men who-who’re so busy worrying about the next world they’ve never learned to live in this one, and you can look down the street and see the results." - one of my fave literary quotes from To Kill a Mockingbird.

"Admitting that I won't see her again isn't the same thing as choosing not to see her again"

tbh, I think the reason why many religions teach suicide to be a sin is because if people follow their teachings suicide would be idealized and that's not profitable for a religion I've had severe depression for quite some time and I still remember when I was a young teen I really wanted to kill myself, thinking the afterlife would fix all my problems. Thankfully I did not because I've had this strong compassion for those in need and drive to help others that wasn't connected to my religion. The only thing about "why should you not suicide" that I was told from a christian perspective is because Paul doesn't commit suicide. In Philippians 1:19-26 Paul talks about how suicide would be much better, but he doesn't because he has use for helping others in their religious path. So what happens when a depressed individual doesn't have that outlook that they're able to lead people to christ? What happens if that child is overwhelmed with the notion of others going to hell? Ironically it got to the point where my anxiety on the matter prevented me from trying to convert anyone, which looking back it feels like that was the real blessing in disguise You could probably do a whole video or podcast on how the church treats suicide. It's honestly abhorrent.

I never did grive in religious sense when my family members did die. Not in religious sense,i just accepted is as fact,that people die accident,natural dead,crime,and so on.

I love how you ended with that doctor who quote "We're all stories in the end, just make it a good one." I'm struggling on how to deal with my religious parents, we aren't on the best of terms, I never call cause they never call, and when I do talk to them they never have nice things to say. But recently my dad discovered he has cancer. He didn't tell me, instead my mom just texted me asking why I never call and did I know my dad has cancer..... which I didn't, it was the first I heard of it. So, this made me come to the realization that this would be the first time someone close to me might die and I'm not religious anymore (Agnostic), but hey don't know that. I'm kinda at a lost on how to handle them but this episode was insightful and helpful, thanks for that :)

I hate when people tell someone when they lose someone they love - especially a child - that God needed them in heaven and made him or her an angel. Wrong! The parents needed their child here on earth! They say they will see him or her once again and forever in heaven, but the parents want their child to be with them now, not some time way off in the future in a place that may not even exist.

I remember my mother, a christian, coming home from my uncle's mother's funeral and crying because the pastor went around to every person and asked if they and their kids believed and were saved. She thought I was closeted and gay (I was actually trans and technically now I am gay), so she told him about me and he told her there was no hope for me and I would go to hell if I died tomorrow. My mother never went to church after that (even though she's still a believer). She believes God doesn't care about sexuality or gender identity, but I probably will never told her I have never believed in God since I was in elementary school and no one could answer my questions about him consistently. Not knowing what to believe, I sought my own answers and never found any.

I've been an atheist most of my life. I haven't lost a parent (yet) but I lost my sister several years ago alongside some other very devastating losses, and there have absolutely been times I sure hope I'm wrong and there is a heaven where I might see them again, or they're at least happy wherever they are and free of suffering. But at the end of the day, I can't believe that we experience anything other than what we experienced before we were born - nothingness. As a social species, humans have been experiencing grief and loss since before we were human. It's nothing short of insulting that some christians believe non-christians suffer any less in our grief, and hearing "I'm praying for you" or even worse "it was in gods plan" is an aggressive slap in the face. Where is the love and compassion for those grieving? I'm also still salty the pastor got my name completely wrong when I gave my sister's eulogy. What a douche. I'm her goddamn sister.

Unfortunately telling people that there's something better after this life is not always the positive spin religious people think. My father didn't believe in a god his entire life, but in his last year or so he "found" god. Unfortunately this is only because of the rhetoric christians spouted at him claiming that after he died his life would be so much better....he'd be happy. He took his life shortly after and in his note made sure to state the fact that his life after death would be happier. That he'd be in a better place....I think secular people need to understand how dangerous that rhetoric can be when speaking to people already on a precipice.

I was forced to come out as an atheist when I was 14. I remember in one of the many 'debates' my parents forced me to have with them after the fact, I brought up that one of the things that made me question and eventually loose the christian faith they brought me up in was how a 'loving god' would create a system where, for the times in history where christianity has spread the most, 2/3rds or more of the population would be sentenced to eternal torment solely for not believing. My parents at the time did a lot of victim blaming, and changed the subject. When I came out to them as a trans man at 26 after my time in the marines, they used religion as their starting point for why it was wrong. I brought up the same argument. This time, my dad just said that 'hell is a separation from god'. He now thinks that the separation is the only form of 'torment' for most people. That hell is a good place with no torture unless you were awful in life. Because there still needs to be punishment for awful people, but that was the new conclusion he came to after his beliefs were threatened by arguments that I guess he internalized a lot more than I thought. He still has a lot of awful beliefs, but he's also in his 50s. Most of those awful beliefs come from decades of believing them, and are slower to change (not an excuse, but maybe an explanation for why someone indoctrinated for decades might be slower to change). The fact that some of what I said at 14 made him change even some of his beliefs...helps a lot. Change may come slow, it may not come at all, but I hope knowing that it is possible helps some of you out there with parents you think might never accept that you are an atheist, or LGBTQ+, or want to date someone of another race, or want to move to another country, or anything else that you are/what you want to do with your life that they may not accept right now. Obviously, don't come out/tell them your plans if you think they won't accept them until you are financially stable and honestly prepared to loose those relationships...but there is a possibility they might surprise you. Either right after you come out, or a few months/years down the road. Not entirely related to the video, but bringing up hell made me think of it, and I thought I would share in case anyone needed to hear it.

"No matter where you stand, North will always be up." Man if I heard this in church even at my most believery I would have stopped and gone "wtf are you talking about that's not how directions work."

Wow. I went to a little Anglican church in a small country growing up. It was nice enough, even though I grew out of it soon enough. Maybe it's an Australian Anglican thing, but they never focussed on the specifics of heaven, just that it would be pretty good. All this shit about home design and working conditions in heaven is fucking incredible! These folks are different kinds of geniuses.

When I was a Christian, it was a good thing suicide was a sin or I would have killed myself a dozen times over. U hated this life. I wanted to go home. I wanted no sadness and no regret. I laid on the floor crying, begging god to kill me because I was so miserable being alive. Thankfully, I got out of that mindset, got (non-christian) therapy, and medication so now I can live. I'm not even a nihilist but I don't believe in the Abrahamic God. I think, there could be a Creator, but it is so far removed from us, and we are so small and insignificant, that it doesn't care about us, or even know we exist. Do we care about motes of dust?

My grandpa died a week ago (my first encounter with death when it comes to someone close) I needed this video

I grew up a non-believer, and funerals were always especially miserable for me, I always felt so out-of-place. Like I wasn't supposed to be there, and like everyone else was getting something out of it that I was just missing.

when i was younger i liked the thought of heaven, not because of eternal life, but because i could eat all the choclate i want without getting fat lol

Your thoughts in this essay really echo mine when I was questioning my faith. I found it hard to swallow how genuinely good people could be damned to hell because they were in a circumstance where they couldn't learn the "truth". It was when I thought how ridiculous god is for allowing such things to happen.

To be honest is going to heaven means having all of the aspects of myself that god doesn’t like forcefully scrubbed away, hell sounds like it’s a far more fun place.

As an atheist, it's entertaining to watch these christians talking about how heaven is gonna be like when they go when there is literally no evidence proving that heaven is going to be a white man's dream

The "build your own house" thing is like... one of the things from my childhood that I just can't wrap my brain around. It's almost like you can build your own house here too, except it requires some Capital capability that is unequally distributed and /intentionally/ made more difficult for some people than others.

When my aunt died my uncle actually said that people that don't know Jesus don't know how deep love actually is. I was sad for his loss, of course, but I couldn't help but bite my tongue during service.

"we'll have our own house and the best part!?! It's tax free!!"..... What's wrong with people, how is THAT the best part to you?

I love how multiple people in your clips were countering the idea that a loving God "wouldn't punish." Punishment? Sure. Is eternal punishment? That's what people have in issue with. Infinite punishment for finite sins. That's gotta be Christianity's biggest bug- bear.

"A void is only left when they filled a big space in your life." That's... actually really comforting.

I think one of the most disollusioning things to me was my grandma telling me that when she goes to heaven, God is going to erase her memory of me so she's isn't upset that I'm not there. She said this with a totally straight face. Why would you even want to believe in a God that not only condemns your own family to eternal death, but also causes you to forget the precious memories you've had of your own grandson? Absolutely reprehensible.

I *hope* there's some existence beyond death, because it would make all the pain and suffering and senseless torment we suffer in life not quite as bad if there's something peaceful and painless in the beyond. But I'm not going to count on it; I'm not going to act as though it's a fact until and unless it's confirmed by science.

Memorial services are always tough for me. The first one I attended when I was either eight or nine, it was my great grandmother. It was a very surreal experience for me, as it took place in a Lutheran church, which was where she went to church back when she was able to. It was weird for me, because I had only ever known the building in the framework of how it was used as the building for our secular homeschool group. It was surreal, sitting in the room where I had previously watched several hours of Tom and Jerry, only to later realize that was the room for receptions. My parents both came from religious backgrounds, and both of them had taken opposite, but compatible stances regarding spirituality. My father came to the conclusion that there was no real form of afterlife, and that there was no possible religion that could claim to have one; whereas my mother came to an understanding that everything was sacred and spiritual in its own way. As a result of their beliefs, I can't say that I was raised with any particular belief in anything, though my grandparents did try to 'correct' that for a long time. I can't ever help but feel awkward, and sometimes even insulted, each time I attended a memorial service on my mother's side. We were supposed to be celebrating my grandfather, when the speaker gets up and starts talking about how each of us needs to find god, and if we do, then we can be happy forever. Like really? There's a room chock full of retired former airforce, many pensioners who all cared for my grandfather dearly, and all he had to say was that we should find god? Of course everyone else lapped it up, they are all devout churchgoers, and they saw no greater joy than to get an affirmation that one day they will get to see their old friend again, but me? I just felt insulted. You speak on behalf of someone who you claim to have known for a long time, and instead of telling stories about your times together, you give a speech about converting so that I might sell my 'soul' to an entity who refuses to confirm their own existence? There's a time and a place for proselytizing, but the middle of a large gathering of mourning people felt completely inappropriate to me.

It will never not be surprising to me that there are sane adults who are seriously 100% certain that their weird pseudoscience beliefs (heaven/hell, creationism, etc...) are true.

The whole part about asking if a person was saved or not when they had died reminded me of what my grandma told me about my great-gradma who had lost her newborn. The paster came over and told her that it was a shame they weren't able to baptize the baby because now it wasn't going to Heaven. Can you imagine grieving over the loss of your newborn baby and being told that they were going to be tortured in Hell for all eternity because you didn't sprinkle a little water in them? Fucking ridiculous!

Abraham Piper, John Piper’s son, is amazing. I followed him on TikTok. Complete opposite of his father.

yeah, kept wondering if there really is an all-loving god who truly loved everyone, would he even allow bigots, homophobes, racists to heaven? 'cause like... that's not a very loving thing to do... also made me bitter about my pastor because when another pastor we knew killed himself, all he did was be angry, say that he was going to hell, that he was doing it for attention and because my pastor wouldn't give him what he wanted (i can't remember what it was but i think he wanted to step down to a smaller church so he doesn't have much to manage or he wanted to rest), and that god didn't love what he did. it was horrible and it was the first time i felt total hate and anger towards this person who is supposed to spread love. it's horrible. i hope that pastor got peace somehow even if there's no afterlife.

Edit: I have realised their is an entire other point to this that makes this effed up God knows who I am and what I’ll do before the universe is born >> God creates heaven, our universe, and hell >> God also creates the criteria for who goes to heaven and hell, which includes sending atheists to hell >> he, being the omniscient creator, nows I’ll end up an atheist >> God creates me anyways >> I end up becoming an atheist >> god sends me to hell >> tells me it’s my fault Sounds legit

24:12 Thank you so much for bringing this point up. A few years ago, my great-grandfather died, and my grandfather asked me to be a pallbearer for the funeral. I was genuinely honored that he asked me, and I felt so much love amongst my family that day. However, my sister and I bring up all the time how mad we were that the pastor took time away from remembering our great-grandfather, a longtime church member and figure of the community, to talk about how important it was to be a Christian and go to church. It was infuriating, especially because he didn't seem to care at all about how our family was grieving.

Going through this right now. My moms passed away recently and it's so irky to me when people talk about how she's with Jesus now and she's walking on streets of gold and then of course they proceed to tell me to make sure I don't give up my walk with God so I can see her again. I still haven't came outta my spiritual closet yet so all these people have no idea that ive already deconstructed and I've already accepted that I'll never see her again.

Personally I just feel like “I don’t care how great life is in Heaven, the stuff we have down here is really cool and I don’t want to leave it behind. Like, music probably sucks up there. It’s just harps and trumpets, isn’t it?”

I found your channel in the midst of my deconstruction and I just want to say how incredibly glad I am that I did. I’m still working my way through the podcast but all of your other videos have helped immensely with fear. From the rapture to this, everything has included what I needed to hear. So thank you so much

i’m so sorry for your loss. i needed this today…

15:07.. weird because i was told, by my christian brother who works for the church that even if you do al the bad stuff hes listing, as long as you believe in God you'll go to heaven. before i left the church for good, i remember thinking "why would i go to heaven for eternal peace if the people that hurt me are there just because they believe, even though they ruined my life?" and thats what broke me. not the shit the church put me through, but because at the end of it all, the peace they offered would never be peace if the people that harmed me were there enjoying it with me

Honestly fangirling w/ every video. You guys have no idea how monumental the videos have played in, me, beginning to question and think critically about my faith. Big ups from New Zealand!

On my last day, I will be able to say 'I have loved and been loved by, wonderful people'. Nothing else matters. I continue to live a while in their memories but, truly, my life is to live and love, and leave room for those who come after me.

The focus on the life beyond the life we have can render so many Christians incapable of enjoying the little life we really have, and if they die slowly enough that they have the time to reflect on their life and question their faith, they can start to think and question why so much time was wasted at church when it could've been with people they loved

That bit about the fruit really spoke to me I think. 12 varieties of fruit would have seemed incredible to someone living at the turn of the millennium. Even under Roman rule, getting together 12 different varieties in one place - shipping them in from different climates, quickly enough that they don't spoil, without modern preservatives or transportation, would have seemed absolutely incredible. Practically infinite. Nowadays, it seems like a half-stocked grocery aisle. I guess the ancients just lacked imagination, like a SciFi writer lamenting Earth's environment collapsing under the crushing weight of 4 billion people or an AT&T commercial maker selling us the future where we could video chat from a phone booth or send faxes from the beach.

When someone asks me if I believe an afterlife exists I just say; "Maybe, maybe not. The only thing I know is that *this* life exists. I don't know about heaven and hell, I just know about this world. Therefore, that's what I live for."

Personally I believe what we live in now is the afterlife. We come into another life after we die with no memory of who we were before. Never knowing what happens after we die is the price we pay for it. Even if its hopeful thinking and truly nothing awaits us, i still believe we only truly die when we are forgotten. Be the person you want to be remembered as.

Death as oblivion, like it was before I was born. Will be heaven enough for me.

This just reminds me that religion is a renter’s mentality and everyone else are home owners who are invested in the here and now, invested in cultivating relationships, of sustainability, of valuing all life, of appreciating the temporary nature of our existence. And so we love all the deeper for it ♥️

People being excited to live forever allways freaked me out. Worshipping a being for eternity sounds like a nightmare.

I lost my mother in September of last year. She spent the majority of her life sicker than any living creature deserved to be. When she passed, I was already free of my former faith. I didn't believe in a heaven or a hell and I still don't. She didn't go to heaven or hell. She went somewhere where she no longer had to live in misery or wear a smile to mask it. I took more comfort and closure in that than I ever could with what the faith could give.

The bit about pastors hijacking funerals happened during my mom's funeral. I was so pissed. This was supposed to be a day about honoring my mom's memory, and instead he spent it preaching about God and Pascal's wager.

I audibly gasped when I heard Piper say “he deserves the wrath of god”. The blatant lack of empathy is astonishing.

Whenever a believing person asks me about finding purpose and meaning in a life where I believe that I will just die and stop existing one day, I tell them that the very fact that we all have a finite number of days to live, be it 10 or 10000, makes every one of those days special and makes you appreciate and not want to waste that day in hatred or petty resentments. If you're having a fantastic burger, you know you only have a certain number of bites you can savor before the burger is gone but the fact that the burger isn't infinite doesn't make the burger any less tasty.

When my mom died it hit me really hard. My religious sister has hope and faith that she’ll see our mom again, but I don’t have that hope or faith. She told me that she feels so sad for me because I think I’ll never see our mom again, and I can understand why that would make her sad, it makes me sad too, but it’s reality.

losing my mind over the firebringer clip. also great video 10/10

I just lost my husband recently and neither of us believed. I actually left the Mormon church that I was raised in. It was hard knowing that he was gone and I am so grateful to have put so much love and be with him on his last days. My family keeps saying they prayed and politely tells me he is in heaven now even though they know neither of us were religious in the slightest, but none of that brings me comfort. I know he lived his life to the fullest and I made a promise to him that I would be happy and do the same. I miss him terribly and wish he didn’t have to leave so early, but I’m okay knowing that he is done suffering from cancer and he is at rest from this life.

someone who believes in a just afterlife shouldn't be sad when someone dies. it should be a course of celebration. either someone is finally in eternal bliss, released from their mortal suffering, or a person who deserves eternal suffering is finally getting what they deserve. you could make the argument that a christian grieving is a sign that they don't fully believe it. i don't take it that far. there is still the selfish part of grief, of how you'll never see that person again (or i guess it'll take a while if you believe you'll share an afterlife), but there is definitely something odd about the grief experienced when you don't believe they stopped existing.

grieving makes no sense if you believe in the after life. grieving makes more sense if there is no after life. like... come on, if your friend dies and he goes to hell, and decades later you also die and meet in hell... what did you grieve for? meanwhile if after life doesn't exist, it makes sense to cry when someone dear to us passed away. because we know, we will never see them again.

Your videos have been a great comfort to me. I just gave up trying to convince myself God was real a few months ago. Thank you so much for your work!

No matter what u believe about "after life", do well while alive. Embrace those you care about and if you think something should be said or done, do it today!

I never comment on videos, but this hit so close to home for me. I left Christianity 3 years ago, but hid that from those around me until a year ago. Last year I lost my father and struggled immensely because I do not believe that there is an afterlife. I lost 5 family members priorly, when I was a Christian, and I filled my brain with the rhetoric that they are in a better place. Frankly, I was lying to myself the whole time because I could not fathom the existence of free-will in heaven if we are all meant to be in bliss for eternity. Subsequently, I could not believe in a heaven. Anyways, I am not too sure where I was going with this except to thank you for this video. It affirms so much of my thought processes through grieving. The rest of my family is still deeply devoted to Christianity, so going through this loss was quite isolating. This video is comforting to know people with similar experiences are out there. Thank you.

I was raised Seventh Day Adventist as was my sister. She is a missionary for the SDA church. I am a union Electrician, Inside wireman/wirewoman if you will, I love science. Even though i was fully indoctrinated, I became an atheist in my late 30's. I know what the SDA church preaches about atheism and what happens to people who don't believe. I found it interesting, my sister could not accept the thought that i was going to hell so she changed the church's teachings to, "if you believe nothing will happen, then nothing will happen." Instead of, "God's going to light your ass on fire." My husband and i would also laugh at funerals where the pastor who rarely knew the deceased would sound like a mob boss. "If you ever want to see your friend again, you'll follow jesus."

Genie did turn Aladdin into a prince, it just took the whole movie.

I remember when my dad died, sitting in the hospital “grieving room,” after just hearing the news. My mom, understandably lost it and I instantly went into help mode. I wasnt a Christian at this point, at least not really, but I remember saying “its ok, its ok, Gods timing is perfect.” And this actually really helped her in the moment. It’s comforting thinking that his death wasnt a totally random thing but now that we’re both out of the faith, I wonder what I could have said that would have been equivalent - or if there is such a thing.

Heaven in concept is always so fluffy sounding, but still sounds sinister when read off to you. A perfect paradise with no war, sin, pain, etc, but you have to work, pray, and serve a bearded narcissist for all eternity with no end in sight. Talk about monotonous. At least good old regular death is final and in essence, eternal rest. All that other blissful, flowery crap without the immortal slave labor.

I've always thought all the other descriptions of heaven never sounded that great. Then there's the fact that the same people will agree with you when you say that the lows/bad parts in life help us appreciate the highs/good parts more. Without the lows, the highs don't really feel like highs. Then they'll describe the afterlife as perpetual or eternal bliss... but like how? That seems like it would get insanely boring.

When I was a teenager, what turned me off Christianity was not descriptions of hell, but descriptions of heaven. They seemed not only childish and absurd, but downright terrifying. Those who sought it seemed to me to be thinking like heroin addicts. What they desired was not anything recognizable as life, but the mindless "bliss" of the drug addict. To worship some power for eternity could be nothing less than slavery.