Growing Pains 

I'm an autistic person moving out in a few months too, all of my support ! I relate about every single thing, thank you

TRIGGER WARNING MENTION OF DEATH: This video comes out the day I decide to euthanize my cat after weeks of fighting with myself about it...(He's been struggling to eat and drink for a couple weeks due to sickness. He's 20 years old.) Thanks Aaron. This helps me a lot. Strange that your videos come out at the exact time I need them.

Hi,Hello,Hi Aaron. 🐰

OKAY BUT THE LIL "love u" AT THE END G O T ME ❤🧡💛💚💙💜

I 110% relate! I absolutely despise surprise parties and any kind of surprise that involves me being the center of attention. (Gifts are fine but stuff that involve lots of people staring at me, no thanks.)

I'm autistic, and I relate too this strongly. I was on hormones for three years before I made my final decision about whether I wanted to be on them or not, and I'm just now doing my legal name change after 4years of using the name. Decisions are hard to stand by for me.

It’s not exactly the same thing. But this is what I’m going through with dealing with my mental health. Like I want to get better but my depression is the devil I know and the change of getting better scares the shit out of me.

Transitions can be SO hard. I remember, as a child, getting out of a swimming pool or the lake. I'd be shivering & cold but changing from my wet swimming suit into a dry fluffy hoody was almost impossible. I KNEW that I'd be happier in the hoody but taking off my suit seemed colder & so vulnerable - since I was already so cold. That seems like a silly example, but it helps me recognize when a change really needs more consideration & when it's like taking off a wet bathing suit. Taking meds(and changing them to find the right mix) feels the same way. If I'm horrible depressed & sleep all the time, and then I take meds, what if it fixes the "sleeps a lot" part, but I'm still horribly depressed? Then I'd be AWAKE & depressed, which seemed too risky. And "knowing" that it's a step towards better doesn't change the "feeling" that, as miserable as it is, I'm still coping with this miserable. Will I be able to cope with a different kind of miserable. I'm already cold & now I have to get naked too??? I'm excited for your new place. We can hold that energy for you. You are stronger than you know. You've got this. And any hardships along the way is great content, right??? xoxoxo

CW: mention of trauma, mental health. I very much feel these feels and have gotten better with change as I've aged. It seems to be the case with a lot of folks that had a lot of chaos and trauma when they were young so the grab onto anything familiar, even if it's very detrimental to them, because they have *something* when they're used to having little to nothing. That something may suck, but it's your something and it safe in it's own way because you already know how to navigate it. I'm proud of you for letting yourself work through the feelings and then make a change that will help your mental and physical health. Be well, friend. You've got this!

Omg I relate to this whole video...this describes me in a nutshell..it’s so difficult for me to make decisions even if I know they have a better/good outcome,idk why this is it’s just always been this way

I've been living in the same house in the same country my whole life so I feel you, I am big scared

Cw: mentions of anxiety and vom I relate so hard to the surprise-party-thing! When I turned 18 I was going to my best friend's house but when I got there my other "best friend" from school was there as well! They had almost never met before and didn't know each other that well and I felt like their personalities wouldn't be compatible. So naturally I was on the verge of an anxiety attack the whole night and almost vomited because the situation stressed me out so much... Also about new things: right now you know how to cope with the hard things in your current apartment, but in your new one you have to learn bit by bit which can be exhausting. Thought I'd just add:) thank you for sharing and making me straighten these things out for myself!

I totally feel ya man. I'm currently living with some abusive family members and I need to move out, but it's so hard to do. Even though it might not be the best place, living here is what's familiar to me. I've been here for four years and even before that I didn't live on my own. So moving into my own place is super scary. I wish you all the luck moving and will be sending good thoughts your way :)

Omg. You and Ty?? I love you both so of course this news made my day!

That little love u at the end hit me right in the heart ❤️ LOVE U!

I am someone like you, who is not super-great with change. 👈 Understatement. Thank you for making this video. 💗

Holy shit I feel so attacked now :D I'm 25 and I've been living in my appartement since I was 19 as well and I'm so anxious about having to move one day, even though it's not at all a current issue. But I'm thinking about one day maybe moving in with my girlfriend and the thought of giving up my appartement and never getting it back is terrifying for me (it's also that the renting market here is pretty awful and I'm paying below average and that it's in a quiet neighbourhood and I can't deal with loud noises). Also I've only lived at one other place before, with my parents, so it's not like I'm used to change in that sense at all 😅 I loved what you said about surprises, it's also my personal idea of horror :D

This video helped me calm down and understand my emotions and that IT IS OKAY to give yourself the space to feel pain. And that you can still move on. I'm 4 months on Androgel, and sometimes I notice hairs growing in weird places. They are completely normal, it's just unfamiliar to have them in places they haven't been before. First time my voice dropped, i freaked out, because it just wasn't the voice that I'm used to. It took me about 2 months to be happy with my voice. It was really scary at first, and sometimes I asked myself "omg, is this really what I want?". Now I'm comfortable with the change and I'm very happy that I made the decision to start HRT. Best wishes Aaron, and thatk you for the video.

I understand completely. I have Asperger's and in a few weeks I'm graduating. Awesome, right?! No more rampant bullying! Wrong! Kinda... I'm familiar with it. I know how things work, I know what will happen. I know the people there. And as a woman (IGNORE THE TAG, I'm MTF and can't change it for a while longer) on the Spectrum change naturally comes very hard for me. So graduating... *_EEK._*

I love how sensitive you are Aaron, a true soft boi ❤️ I’m happy you are moving out and taking baby steps to change things that you don’t want in your life.

A NEW PODCAST, YES! With two amazing guys, can't wait

This is such a relatable video. You put in to words and came up with a name for what I have also been dealing with my whole life. Settling for ‘comfort’ (I use that loosely) and being afraid of the unknown. I went through a situation where I stayed in a toxic, unsafe work environment for almost 6 years, and probably would still be there if I hadn’t have spoken up about an incident with a customer. Leaving that place has done WONDERS for my mental health. I stayed in that toxic work environment because it became my ‘normal’ and felt familiar. I’m so happy and proud that you are making a positive change in your life. Even though it may seem simple to others, I totally understand what it’s like to stay in a situation that you know is not great, based on fear of change and the unknown. Good luck with the move! :)

I know it's scary, but know that there's 100s of people here cheering you on. Hope this helps. You've got this. I believe in you. I'm also so happy for you. Your apartment sounds terrifying. I actually did something like this 2 years ago and it was scary as hell but the house I was living in was killing me. So I know what you're going through.

I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE I UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL NOW TYSM

Hi Aaron! I'm autistic too and change is always hard for me. I always leave things until they are utterly unbearable before making a change. That's why it took me so long to start my transition. I think it's a normal part of being on the spectrum... but I work real hard to get around it. I recently quit my long term retail job which I hated and now I'm self employed and actually earning more and am so much happier! Change is hard but results can be good. Best of luck moving!

Good luck with moving! I also hate changes. I'm very excited for the podcast!

You made this video just in time when I needed it most. Thank you 💚 I will start my transition this summer, and I am going through big changes in my academic career. I'll share this with my friend. We discussed this exact topic with him yesterday, and I hope he will find it helpful. He is also autistic and likely trans! Good luck 💚🌿💚🌿💚🌿💚🌿💚🌿💚

Thank you for putting that feeling into words, letting me know I’m not the only one who HATES change, and that feeling that way isn’t just me being annoying💙

Aaron, I relate to you on so many levels! I hate change, I have multiple chronic medical conditions that make it hard to be as mobile as I was when I was younger but I also procrastinate. (I know my personal demons.) I took your quote and turned it into first person, so I can remember this and push myself into action: "The findings are conclusive, I should absolutely not be in this situation, I should definitely do something about this!" Good Luck and God Bless with your move and your future life! Thanks for your eye opening videos! Love to you!

Thank you for making this video! I totally relate to this. It made me feel very much not alone so thank you. ALSO can I just say that I love seeing how comfortable you’ve become in your vids and in general. I lov u Aaron :)

You’ve put so many of my feelings into words!

With autism, sometimes it takes that extra time for changes, big or small, and that's okay. It's okay to wait a little longer until you're mentally ready to take that next step. (And a lot of nerotypical people need time as well) I'm sorry you're feeling stress over the change. But I'm glad you'll be moving to a safer, healthier environment ❤

good luck with your move aaron! surely you'll be glad to have gone through with the change after you've settled in. I've recently decided to marie kondo my flatmates who were making me miserable for over 6 years, and for all that time I thought that the devil you know is better than the devil you don't know, but honestly? we have to make these decisions even if they're scary, because after the leap into the dark you might find yourself in a better place. sometimes happiness requires a little bit of risk

Moving TERRIFIES me... I used to be OK with it, would move every 4-6 months, but now that I have a "happy place" where I feel safe, I don't want to move and of course like you say, where are the new scary issues in the new place?? I understand and I HOPE your move will be a good one and you can settle in quite nicely! :) To me HOME=SAFE SPACE. I can completely understand. I hope you take care of yourself as well! :)

youve talked abt this apartment being kinda crappy for so long, im so happy for you to be making the move :) i also feel like the steps of Making A Change are super exhausting for some (maybe anxiety related) reason?

Thank you so much for this Aaron! Videos like this make me feel less alone. I'm in a similar situation, I'm moving in approximately 2 weeks, the place I'm staying in is not only bad for my mental health but also impacting my physical health but the thought of moving is terrifying! I've become so used to living in a house where I know I am not wanted and my needs are not being met nor respected so the thought of moving out into my own space where I can do what I want and live my life and heal is giving me so much anxiety. I'm taking each day at a time and doing things at my own pace to keep myself grounded.

i know you emphasised in the video that this isn't just transition related but right now it applies to me and my transition. thank you for saying what i can't communicate to myself.

I'm highkey excited about the podcast

I always need that extra push in doing stuff like even if i realy want to do it i wait

Moving is scary. Change in general is scary. It's okay to be nervous.

I don't like changes either (and I am pretty scared of the unknown, which makes it even worse). I'm in my 3rd year of university and I still go to visit my primary and secondary school at least once a year. And most of my hobbies I have been doing for 13 years or 15 years. My bedroom is still the same as when I was a toddler, Winnie the Pooh style and all, only there is a closet and a bookcase extra. All my toys are still there as well. Adapting to my dorm was hard, this year (my 3rd year there) I was finally starting to feel at ease and now next year I have to move to another dorm a little further...It's sad and scary. And that's only my dorm...I can imagine that moving real homes would be very hard. I don't think it's just a "normal thing that adults do". PS: I'll definitely check out the new podcast :)

Thank you for sharing your struggles with us Arron, I struggle with similar experiences and being alone with it all sucks the most to me personally. It's more than just feeling like I'm not alone, it's the feeling that theres a supportive friend fighting with you and cheering along too. I really really loving the podcast btw! I'm thoroughly enjoying it, and look forward to it as much as my favorite podcasts. You and Tyler are doing awesome, keep up the great work! 👍💗💙

I'm moving in a month and I'm very excited. I'm Autistic but also know that living on my own will be a great thing for my mental health and happiness 😊 I totally understand how hard it is though.

I feel like ive told someone almost this exact thing about leaving things behind. Ive had to do it so much but it takes a lot to get me to do it. No matter how many times i do it, i cant get used to it. Thanks for making this video. Its nice to know I'm not alone in this

These videos are helpful as comforting thank you

I’ve just come out at school two days ago. It took me ages to make this decision and it has been pretty painful, although I know that it’s the best thing for me. Thank you so much for putting this into words. It made me feel less alone.

I FEEEEEEEL you!! I related so much to everything you talked about. Currently working towards moving to a different city from the one I was raised in and oooooh, boy. Yes. Thank you for this video. I needed to hear it today. Much love!

I can relate soo hard!!! 🙈 Thanks for sharing this with us and maybe making some people aware of this problem! PS: I love the *lamb-pillow cameo* 😭 ❤

You got this Aaron!!

I actually feel exactly the same way. I'm a lot better now but at one point, I didnt even like when my route to school walking changed because of road blocks and normal stuff like that. Eugh. I can make smaller changes past smoother now but bigger changes are definitely still a huge problem.

Wow, I can relate so much. I have a very hard time with making necessary changes in my life. I didn't realize that other people also had this problem, I just thought that I was an idiot for not doing anything about my problems.

I really really needed to hear this. Big impending life change and I hate. Change. Very scared, but nothing changes if nothing changes, right? Btw loving the podcast!

Thank you so much for making this video and always being so open with your viewers. You really put things into words that I could never find. I also have a lot of trouble with change, especially moving and getting rid of things, or buying new things like vehicles or furniture. But it is very much because of the familiar feelings even if the current situation is terrible and the change is gonna be good. Thank you Aaron. Also, your voice is always so calming with a Bob Ross type essence to it. Speaking of Bob, did you ever pick him up at the mall?

I feel all of those things. Name change is scary even though I want it and feel like it would make me more comfortable. Moving is scary. Top surgery is 100% necessary but super scary, and I literally just had surgery to get my lapband out that has made me sick every day since I got it 6 years ago. Change is scary. It has little to do with surgery itself-that’s a fear, too, but a different, smaller one. I needed this video right now for validation. Sorry I’m jumping around, I’m on a lot of pain and nausea medication right now from the surgery, so I’ve got major brain fog. Thanks for this video though.

Thanks for this video Aaron, I was just in need of it. I'm feeling pretty scared about some changes that may be happening in my life that are outside my control. This video helped me to feel okay to have these feelings. Similarly, with my transition, I have taken a long time to make decisions and are taking it one thing at a time. I used to think maybe this made me somehow not "trans enough", but now I accept that we are all different with different factors affecting us. Hope your new flat is awesome :)

Legit got kicked out of my previously secure living situation out of nowhere a few days ago and now I’m bumming it at some friends houses, the fact that I don’t have a secure living situation atm is fucking terrifying.

Thank you aaron, this video helped me a lot. I’ve been dating this girl on and off since september, recently we had a solid relationship for about a month. we had a small fight, things got blown out of proportion and she starting ignoring me, being very rude to me, and harassing my friends. eventually we cut things off for the last time (i hope). even though it was an unhealthy relationship and i wasn’t happy, it was familiar and i was scared of the unknown. i’m still struggling to move on, but i know that you have to go through pain in order to grow. after watching this i feel a little bit less alone. thank you

I relate so hard to this! It's why I have not started my transition..... and it's not just the changes that I would go through when I transition that are scary, but how it would potentially effect my relationship with others that scares me (that's actually my biggest fear; my husband is not supportive at all wrt me transitioning).

I feel you, i was in a horrible relationship but i was comfortable n knew what to expect. I been it for 3 years n was so scared of what would life be like out of said relationship i stayed knowing it be healthier n better for me to leave. I love ypu so much keep being you!

Aaron AND butt of Lamb!

I LOVE YOU

We just moved into a new place as well. It was definitely scary and exhausting and very expensive, but I'm so happy we did since now we're in a mostly wheelchair accessible place and going to and from work hurts a LOT less lol. I hope your move goes well!

Thank you for this video, I totally relate, I'm like the worst person w change, even if it's good change. The most recent situation I'm experiencing this in is also hormone therapy. I'm starting hormones in 2 weeks and I couldn't be more excited about it, I've been waiting for this appointment for years. But transitioning is so different for everyone and I won't know beforehand whay exactly will happen, how it will happen, when it will happen etc. It's just me feeling the need to be in control and 100% prepared for everything and also me being the most comfortable with what's familiar even though it might not be ideal. But at the end of the day I know I want to go hormones and I need it for my mental health and I'm very happy about it. Thanks again for the video, good to know I'm not alone ♡

YAY NEW PODCAST!!!!!

I feel this way about changing jobs! I am comfortable at this job and I know how to do everything I have to do, so it's hard to leave even though I have 100 reasons.

I understand...and there is nothing I can say to make it better. I understand because I have difficultys with the same things. We just need the time and I see...with getting older...it's something that's getting better. We need a lot of good experience to grow. Your are brave and it's oke. I hope this help a bit.

I hate changes and changing my routine and stuff but then you get used to it and hopefully the changes will make your life better

I relate a lot... also i can't wait to listen to the podcast (i'll start listenning later bc i have exams rn)

I just ended a 3 year relationship with my ex boyfriend, I relate to the attachment and pain you talked about. I didn’t leave when I knew it was awful and I was in serious danger and ended up hurt and I didn’t want to end it out of fear and what the future would hold. Now I’m almost a whole month (tomorrow would be a month) out and I’ve been better, still healing but I’m getting there, I had a tough day yesterday but that’s to be expected, healing isn’t linear

Thank you, I needed this

I can relate even tho i use to rip it like a band aid and drawn in the pain lol but anyway thanks, i watched this while i was taking a warm bath and now im very relaxed ♡

it's getting scary how much of the same person we are

I get what you mean by growing pains, today my headset broke after 5 years & I basically ran to the store I bought it last & thankfully found the "new" version of the same headset there. Couldn't handle thinking about possibly getting another type of headset nope hehe~

I have to move out and have been a mess about it, it is so costly. And I just losty job. All at once.

Surprises are the worst. I remember my family in law and my family organized a bridal shower for me in 2008. My father in law came to get me "to go to a family bbq" which happens a lot, so it's familiar. That day, Yanni and I were freakin tired and I didn't want to go but made the effort since they put pressure on me to go (for obvious reasons, that I didn't know back then). They scared us shitless when we got into the house and I just wanted to leave, but we got there by car and I didn't have Yanni's stroller (he was like 1). I just sat there while Yanni finally calmed down and played with my mum. I received a bunch of.....really feminine lingerie, like, everything to make me feel awful, since I already knew but haven't came out since I had a kid and didn't want to screw up his life. When I got home, I trew everything away and cried myself to sleep. People should really be careful and think before doing such things, even more, I always said I hate parties, especially when they are for me, and even more if it's a surprise or with presents. So i fully understand you.

I relate to this so much. I am on the eve of starting T. Only a few months away. I have so much to still go through with medical testing and medical clearance... Its so stressful... But change is quite scary still... I so badly need T, But it is such a scary change... Like leaving the horrible familiar for the unknown better... I know its better and I just cant wait to finally start, Its such a big change and its scary... Any tips of relatability to this?

Caelum butt

This video only has one dislike right now, but it still makes me sad.

very very relatable. might be an autism thing.

oh super mood !!! might this be an autistic thing? shjdshjs but yeah i’m so glad you talked about this because i rly needed it (..,srsly are we the same person? almost everything u say is such a mood shejsyrjdhej)

OH... I thought your breasts had... grown back... and you were getting growing pains... :( sorry... just had to get that out of the way xD.... I'm autistic, but only mild aspergers, and have an ADHD diagnosis, but I don't have an official depression and anxiety diagnosis... I'm trying to get a job in my field, and I'll have to move out soon too... all the while I need to get re-evaluated for my mental woes, as someone thinks that I may not have ADHD, or need more intensive testing done... more intelligence tests and stuff... I hate math, I don't even remember how to do most of it except the basic stuff... And I have broke up with my bf in January, he wasn't even worthy of seeing in person... and he gave me so much stuff and we had lots of fun it seemed, but I realized he was treating me like a child... and I still feel conflicted that he said things like he was proud of me, he never directly said it to me, but he wrote it to me... and finding out about the truth about his "abuse" really makes me pissed off... I actually told him all the things that has happened to me, I was really trying to keep my walls down and arms open, and he didn't even realize what he had. I am struggling even the beginning of summer working at Mc.Donald's, I want to tell someone that I'm autistic, but I want to hold off on that, because I'm not sure if they might see it as an excuse, or if they might tell me that I can't work there anymore... because I don't think they should fire me for that, there's another employee that has down syndrome,... I'm not sure if I should tell them, if I'm getting re-evaluated in the weeks following, or if I should just tell them that something's wrong with me lol? Like too many sounds and people can really make me feel uncomfortable, and I feel like all of them are starring and/or talking to me, I feel like all the sounds are directed to me, and it can be hard to escape sometimes... and sometimes I have almost froze up like a reptile, because it's one of, if not, the most primal fight/flight response... and it may seem bizarre, but I wish I could tell people not to bother me, but then my voice doesn't come out... sometimes I'm able to snap out of it, but can sometimes return back to that way again... ...and there I go again rambling :L