grown men will NEVER need your help - STOP HOUSING THE HOMELESS! 

Normalize calling the cops on men for trespassing

"Nobody falls in love faster than a dude who needs a place to live."

Also, normalize saying no to your friends wanna bring their boyfriends to YOUR place when you’re not there!

“Grown men will never need your help.” I need this on a t-shirt.

I've noticed that men who want shelter, food, and gas money always approach women to ask for things. They don't usually ask men, because they know women are conditioned to be nurturing and to say yes. When I realized that, I stopped helping able-bodied men in general.

I cannot BELIEVE she didn't call the police when she saw men trying to enter her house at 5 am.

STOP giving men the benefit of the doubt. They are counting on u to assume they are good ppl. Stop

The good men really are offline. Case in point, my husband, busy working and literally helping build us a house.

ALSO: if a guy has to persuade you of something because your first reaction is hesitation or inner debate, your answer then defaults to NO.

My sister housed the homeless in me and my moms house and got pregnant by him IN OUR HOUSE, please ladies protect yourself and your future these men are everywhere.

the worst part is that women do SO MUCH for men, like taking in a hobo, marrying a handicapped/sick man etc YET men would NEVER do the same for a woman. my rule: if a man wouldn't do this for a woman, i'm not doing it for a man. note: i am NOT saying handicapped/sick people don't deserve love & relationship etc, but men never make this sort of sacrifice for a woman.

This was voluntary "victimhood". The first guy was testing the boundaries. Not saying no to all that bs told him and his friends they could take even more from these girls. I'm so worried for young women today. Can we normalise just saying no please, girls.

Some women are, "yes" women. I would have straightforwardly said, "no". I'm a "no" woman by default.

Your channel is doing a public service.

I feel like we're forgetting the most important bit here: WHATS THEIR SOCIAL MEDIA? They should absolutely be outed for being shitheads.

I have NEVER understood WHY people OPEN the damn door in an obviously sketchy situation. I mean WTF is going on in their heads?!!

This girl was too chill with this mess. She will be in this situation again.

those losers definitely did not consider the girls as human beings. and the boyfriend used his girlfriend in a game he played with other men. quite gross to see real life examples.

Since Coachella is in California. Remember, in the state of California if someone stays at your house for 2 nights in a row they now have established tenants rights and the police cannot escort them out of your home. You have to go to the courts and pay to have them legally evicted. Slumber parties as adults are not a good thing.

As women, we should know, if a man is homeless he has used up all of the charity and graces of every woman he has known because women in general does not just leave anyone starving and sleeping on the street. I don't feel any empathy for these men and especially when I have seen men laugh at homeless and starving women and children all over social media with no mass outrage or disapproval. The real hearts of men is cruelty.

So she backed down and let them into the house after he said all that 💩 to her?! Gurl grow a back bone and stop being a door mat for broke bros.

Why do women even do this with dudes THEY DON'T KNOW??? No common sense what so ever.

The good men really are offline. My partner has 0 social media presence or interest and he’s the only man in my 25 years that hasn’t abused me or tried taking advantage of me. He’s humble, he’s masculine, he’s caring, he’s motivated, he’s got good morals, he’s healed me from trauma and helped me stand up for myself and stop being a yes woman. And one of the biggest things for me is because he doesn’t have social media and he doesn’t watch corn, he doesn’t see other women as options. He acts like a man, he treats me like a woman and he’s present in this world and our life instead of being glued to his phone all the time.

If someone had called the police and filed a report, they might've been able to get out of the fees.

No living together before marriage ❤ No ring 💍 no living together ❤

Im sorry, we women need to start holding ourselves accountable. Countless and countless stories and yet we’re still here. Whats the point of sharing these stories if we won’t learn from others mistakes? We’ve been having these conversations for YEARS now. Its draining.

As we step into modern times we forget that men can be DANGEROUS to us. At best monetarily and emotionally. At worst physically. I consider these women lucky that these men didn’t physically harm them or worst. This stuff is SERIOUS.

My housemate would bring random men from a first date home to sleep with them. She brought hole a guy who had money for a hotel, is building a house but wanted to mooch off her. He love-bombed her like crazy, called her babe and took her out shopping on the second day of seeing him in a row, and let him sleep for a week. He would not clean up, would put his clothes everywhere and make her cook and clean for him. My housemate saw these things but was in denial of his treatment. After two months of him coming and going every couple of weeks, I stated the boundaries in place each time and he kept "surprising her" in coming back unannounced. I lost my shit and said i would call the police, that was the only way to make him leave and he guilt tripped and manipulated her to thinking I was the AH. Don't trust homeless men.

Housing a homeless not only puts you in danger of working twice as more for him, spending money and taking care for his s..t…. But also it’s an opportunity cost: you cannot meet a normal man while this organism is around, or simply enjoy your solitude)❤

I'm sorry, but why tf did she let this happen multiple times? 😨 I would've been so scared that these men would stab or SA me in my sleep. We really need to help other women to say NO.

Let’s normalise upholding boundaries and not feeling bad about it!

Keep in mind Elizabeth Smart's parents tried to help out a homeless guy by giving him work at their home. We know how that worked out.

Don't worry about being nice or being "cool", worry about your own comfort and safety! That is a lesson I've learned now that I'm in my 30s that I wish I knew in my early 20s.

This story just incensed me! When I lived in Chicago as a single unattached woman I was into the Tango scene. Well there was a Tango festival near my house. I met a lady who was from Peoria and she and I exchanged numbers. The next weekend she texted me to stay at my place and could she bring her friend too? I was polite and said I don’t allow people I don’t know to stay at my house. She was so upset. She tried to guilt me. I know we were all women, but I barely knew her and she had the unmitigated gall to invite someone I did not know too like it was nothing. That was 10 years ago. And because of my upbringing I felt like I was being selfish, but this storytime triggered and vindicated me after all these years! Thanks for sharing. People these men especially are so dang entitled!!

Trespassing. She should’ve called the police that first time they jumped the fence

And if they won't use you this way, they will still latch onto you emotionally, trying to make you their thetapist, socially, using you to make friends, try to constantly be in your presence to raise their status to other men, even spiritually, because they see that you have a great energy. There was a guy who latched onto me under the premise that he was 'lonely' and 'didn't know how to talk to people' and because I didn't know better, I helped him make friends, tought him social skills, intruduced him to other people, so he had access to a bunch of opportunities, and esentially improved his life. And after he got what he wanted, he didn't talk to me ever again and just ghosted me with no remorse. Don't make my mistake. Don't ever try to help them. Let them help each other because they should have their own groups and friendships, not latch onto us. But that guy didn't have any. That should've been a huge red flag to me. I was just too kind hearted and not yet exposed to their true nature

"Washing his balls with my with my olaplex." I'm sorry, what? A bottle is like 30 dollars! And he washed his Pubic hair with it!? Gross!

The ONLY man I'd be comfortable to sleep in a co-ed situation is my brother. As both being immigrant children in a messed up world, we developed a supportive platonic sibling bond with MUTUAL respect. Until I find a man who is as respectful and appreciative as my brother is, no one is allowed to share my personal, independent space. This story is bonkers to me that we as women would allow even a toe to peep into our sacred space that is not worthy of our time.

I wish women would stop letting others walk all over them. Sisters pleaaaaseee stop this!!

I was over the story when she said her friend asked if one of the boys could stay over. And the friend who asked went back to her own home. Like no girl. You better take this man you were booed up with all day home with you. I don't know him!

Say it with me.. boundaries as soon as I saw the suit cases I am throwing that shit outside.

I wished she would have just called the cops the second she heard someone outside of the house. She is so lucky that all they wanted to do was sleep, eat and shower. If they wanted to assault her or her friends they definitely would have. Women really need to keep their safety in mind

“No one falls in love faster than a man who needs a place to stay” FACTS! 😂

"think you're the balls? You're not even the sack" SLAUGHTERED ME

This situation is akin to having a girl’s picnic trip to the beach: don’t feed the seagulls (men*). No matter how engaged they seem with you or how cute it looks, if you feed them, more seagulls will come. When more seagulls come, it means not only will your snacks and food be ravaged, the food and snacks your girls brought will also be impeded on. This may subsequently result in the surrounding beach goers having their resources and food impinged on as well by the seagulls. Most importantly- seagulls can carry diseases that are harmful to humans, you don’t know where the hell that bird has been. Summer is coming girlies, so remember: 🗣️DON’T FEED THE SEAGULLS.😂

Stop casual sex, it would fix most problems in the dating scene today. Spread the word.

As a mom, this story gave me heart palpitations. I think part of this is caused by overemphasizing ‘be nice’ as we raise our girls and not focusing more on how to set and hold firm boundaries: “No, that’s inappropriate. Absolutely not.” I am going to try to focus more on teaching boundary-setting to my girl. We also have to teach our girls wisdom: “what about my safety?” Good lessons: Thank u!

When I was in my late 20s I shared a flat with 2 guys my age in a prestigious suburb of Sydney. However the lease was in my name, they were more transient. My furniture, etc. When they went to travel for Christmas they wanted to rent their rooms out as the area is very sought after and they can make tons of $$$. I told them NO as the rental rules prohibit this plus not allowed to use airbnb in area. They completely ignored what I said, and I overheard them planning to airbnb their rooms anyway. I freaked out!!! I told them I need to AT LEAST meet whoever is staying with me first!! They didn’t care. When I asked them how the renters were gonna get into the house without meeting me… they responded that they will leave a drop box outside!!!!!! You can imagine I actually had a nervous breakdown. The AUDACITY of these men to think they can just let STRANGE MEN into my house without me knowing, possibly while I was sleeping is only something entitled hobosexuals would do. It was insane because they refused to listen to me and I had no one to help me. I get post traumatic stress just thinking about it.

Honestly.... it's also not only for our safety, it's also simply just a NO to being forced to host people, have ppl invade my home, hell no. I had a mobile home for 2 years and people just thought they could crash at my place, eat my food ask me to drive them around. I gladly did it for my female friend but when 2 guys latched on to her, nightmare. I let it happen back then for a few nights. They scratched my non-stick pans, didn't take their shoes off and dirtied everything, ate my food etc. I had to make and unmake THEIR bed bc of weaponized incompetence and after a few nights of them having the AUDACITY to start complaining about me being too strict with my rules (of taking the shoes off etc.) I kicked them out. You best believe that was the last time I did that. Thank you Elle for this video. My point is: Even if you feel safe with them bc you know them for example, or bc it's a girl, or family. If you don't want to host them, don't !!!

Reminds me of a guy who helped his homeless coworker live with him so he could still work, then that homeless coworker killed him for a petty reason :/ Edit: researched it up, apparently the manager was killed by their employee bcuz he wanted to kick the employee out and the employee didn't want to leave. Sometimes its best not to help too much or just do a one and done thing

The fact she just let them continue to stay is also on her.

They learned on Saturday that she has no boundaries, so OF COURSE they were back on Sunday. It must be a nurse thing, taking 'duty of care' too far. The audacity & lack of manners would make me insulated enough to leave them outside.🚪

The way I would have called the police if someone was knocking on my bedroom door. But also this is California so the police probably wouldn't come.

the second time she should've taken their trash out and not let them in and called the police on them

If a man want’s you to “help” him, YOU are NOT HIS dream girl!

I'm happy I am surrounded by lesbians and straight female separtists, I haven't had to deal with this kind of nonsense in many years.

She needs to be held accountable for this foolishness as well. She should have called the police and get it over with.

When I was in Japan I was living in a sharehouse. It's very common both for foreigners and for young adult. And "women only" sharehouses are completely normalized, I lived in one and I remember feeling so safe.

I love the "absolutely no". Adding it to my vocabulary! Another important thing is that women have to let go of the pick-me girlfriends. That girl to who asked for the guy to stay over is such a typical pickme - willing to put her friend in danger just to help a hobosexual... That's not okay.

about the victim blaming: you can both be a victim and the guilty party. you are an adult and you have responsibilities. the gf had a responsibility to her roommate and should have warned her bf about his friends. the third girl outrageously asked them to house a guy she literally just met, thus putting her friends in danger. the girl in the video had responsibility to her landlord and neighbors yet put them in danger and financial risk by her being passive. let us not see women as invalids and act like just because they're victims, they're completely blameless. all three girls acted very irresponsibly again and again over the course of 3 days. pointing that out isn't victim blaming. you are free to do whatever you want if you have your own house and live alone. but as long as you're co-habitating with other women or girls, boundaries are a must and you don't have the option of being passive or timid. would you keep the door unlocked and open and blame the thieves if your roommate's stuff gets stolen? feminism requires women to stand up for each other. not making stupid decisions that could put their lives and finances in danger.

WHY WOULD SHE OPEN THE DOOR. This is enraging.

Bro I'd never let a not closely related man in my living spaces, especially if I'm by myself or only with my girlfriends. Like, nope, I would have literally go "tell anyone u want, BYE" and let them sleep on the street. I don't care, you try to get in my house and I'm calling the cops.

"and what do they do? The same thing again on Sunday" Why are you LETTING them into your house? Call the police and REMOVE THEM.

A hard but necessary lesson for her. I hope she actually learned.

You guys I never open the door until someone answers who they are. I have my phone in hand, some kind of footwear on, and the other door is ready for me to run to if I need to escape.

Look I housed a bf who was gonna be homeless after a year into dating and that was enough to take care of a lifetimes worth of charity (currently reaping the good karma being happily single), but strangers in my house? No ty. These are the horror stories my fam warned me bout when I moved out.

Ive been raised to help people out in need. Luckely after doing all the work for a hobo and him having an easy life off of me, i learned my lesson. A male friend of my bf wanted to stay at my house for months and im so glad i rejected. He ended up with a disabled women who he leached off, overstayed longer then agreed upon, gave her a lot of trouble and - after many months overdue - leaving angry, not even a thank you, just angry that she didnt let him stay longer. Now he s leeching off another couple. He s a young 27y old male. Blaming everyone and giving every excuse in the world for not working

A man does not need your help. This hit home hard Elle! Men in my life act helpless on purpose so I’ll help. I need to stop that. And they treat you like crap when you help them anyway bc they think you’re below them now. Also, they will leave a mess in the house bc they are OK living like pigs, but know that I don’t want to so I’m forced to clean it up. Lately I have been practising not doing any of that and letting the mess go tbh. It sucks but here we are. I’m also trying not to help, I catch myself more now so that’s some progress. Another sneaky thing they do is ask for your opinion and bc I’m a helper (fixing this too), I end up ususally just stepping in, giving me a false sense of pride. Man it’s just crazy!! Eyes are opening though thanks for the content as always Elle!

I’m an American woman living in Paris. I’ve been contacted several times by friends-of-friends, people I worked with or went to high school with 20 years ago (aka strangers), asking if they can crash on my couch. All men, who then bitch that hotel rooms are too expensive and why can’t they crash with me and my young daughter??? And if they can’t stay with us, can I recommend hotels, restaurants, museums, etc. Why am I your travel agent, bro?

Sis, don't talk to them. keep the doors locked, call the police, throw their ish out the window. Put on some headphones if they're making too much noise. Laugh in their face if you can't ignore them. Don't let this happen to you girls, please just don't.

In this economy it may seem like a decent strategy to pool resources in order to afford rent. Please be so mindful with your peace.

Okay but who are these dudes? Name and shame them.

Heeeeeey bestie! Even though we're calling men to accountability, we should also take charge of our own safety when we can. They never should have entertained them on the second night. Great video!

My sister and I went to visit one of my cousins for the weekend. We went out with some guys and stayed out till 1:00am. When we came back, the doors were locked. We did not knock or try to wake them. We found somewhere to stay. And we found out when the doors locked and came back before then the next night. We had to respect her boundary because she showed it by her actions. Women need to set boundaries, not just say them but hold that boundary.

No men would be in my house period, thats wild.

I always make it clear to friends that my house does not have an open door policy…people need to ask if they can come over and they are almost never allowed to just show up with a stranger…and certainly not when I’m not there. I also respect their house.

When I was a teenager I remember I had a friend that was also very open with making contact with random people, drinking at her place constantly. At that time we just graduated and wanted to go to the next party. So I jumped into the shower, got ready but when I came back to my room she and some guys were chilling in my room. I was so shocked! She knew where we kept our house keys hidden and invited them all over to my place. I still lived with my parents back then but they were at work. I got sooo damn furious and angry and kicked them all out. That was my personal space and nobody asked me about it - still I would have said no.

Accurately pointing a woman's accountability in what happened to her isn't victim blaming. Yes, these men are assholes which is why she shouldn't have opened her door to them in the middle of the night after they jumped her fence. Omg just call the cops.

A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect. That was reckless on her part.

There is girl in my class who have literally zero survival instinct 😭 & she will blinding follow any boy ( she thinks they are her friends) I have seen those boys smirking behind her, I have mentioned this serval times, but one day she listens & another day forgets it💀

Tbh there are no victims here, only participants. She participated in this nonsense. Call women out for this behavior. When you follow along with pickme standards it gets you bit. Play pickme me games win pickme prizes. We all learn this eventually, don't be nice to rando men 😂

Yes we really are “pedestrians in a car world” every man has the ability to harm us physically - WE NEED TO SUPPORT EACH OTHER AS WOMEN & be in solitary to protect each other like men are with using/ manipulating women

Women, normalize not allowing your boundaries to be crossed or putting yourself in dangerous situations trying to be "nice".

If people won’t leave call the cops. And don’t open the door.

And they know where you live and put photos of your home and street on the internet. That is so unsafe. Women, please don't do anything like this.

Life gets an instant upgrade the moment you stop opening your front door.

I housed the homeless before and had a short thing with him. I definitely learned from my mistakes and have to actively forgive my myself for putting myself at risk. Luckily nothing traumatizing happened, but things could have gone so wrong for me.

This is why being selfish is always a good idea!! Too selfish to open the door too selfish to say yes to your friend too selfish to be in the situation!

Thank you! You dont know how many times i get frustrated that people want to leave the responsibility Only to men to be good people. Yes men should be decent people but the reality of life is that people wont always be good so its up to US to protect ourselves no matter what it takes. In the end we will pay the consequences of trusting that everyone should be decent people if it turns out they are not. Never leave YOUR safety up to someone else.

The companion of fools suffers great proverbs 13:20

bring. back. the. rules. of. engagement! i agree with this so whole-heartedly, we gotta protect each other! its a man's world.

To be fair... it doesn't have to be strange male in your house to pose a threat. It could be your "loving husband" that you sleep beside who decides they don't know what consent is

I wouldve called the cops so fast.

I'm not sure who I'm more infuriated with, the guys or the girl.

nooooo what are girlies doingggg I wouldn't even wanna live/roadtrip with just my brothers, I can't even imagine with a stranger!

When you are hanging out with your girlfriends you never ever invite a man with them, not your brother not your partner. Unless its a couples hanging out in which the friends are bringing their boyfriends husbands and you will to its fine but if its all women, inviting a man is invading and infringing on their friendship. There is just no way.

If a girl where to crash after a party like that, shed probably even clean up a bit before leaving. 😂

My ex is now a hobosmchexual..stay safe out there.

There is noooooo way a stranger would be crashing at my place. She would have had to take old dude with her.

Girl I know a woman who housed literal homeless men RENT FREE in hopes of forming a relationship with a bearded manchild…those guys provided NOTHING and just breadcrumbed her to keep their housing. Respect yourself ladies!!!!