I have same issues tho thinking about it perhaps the conviction to forgive them again over and over again each time we think about the situation or see the person even tho we thought we had already forgiven perhaps it’s the Holy Spirit telling us to keep on forgiving time and time again on old or new pain given to us by people
Indeed I have Caused Pain and I Really Wish I Would Have Never Chosen the Sinful Path I Took Now I Have to Live With People That It's Hard for them to Forgive Me and it's My Fault I Have to Live With Hoping God Can Still Save Me and Heal Those I Have Hurt Please Pray for Me
Yes, that is good, but is he really helpful? That is my test: "Love, even the love of God, is always mediated through persons" in a practical way that the inquirer can understand and practise. This may be why John is controversial, but I live in a different world, and do not judge him.
BEFORE Galatians 2:20(Rom 12:1) 1John 3:9 1John 5:18 since you are a beginner(a child-1John 2:1 Rom 14:1) you have to confess sins to God through the only one Mediator Jesus the Christ(1Tim 2:5). And you have to confess sins also to the one which was insulted through your sin(James 5:16 Matt 5:24) because what you sinned against any person can be forgiven by God ONLY AFTER you confessed AT FIRST to the person against whom you have sinned in real or in secret. What we sinned ONLY against God we confess ONLY to God because our sins against God can be forgiven ONLY through the system of SIN TRANSFERRING installed in all three parts of God’s plan of salvation revealed to us inside the Sanctuary about TRANSFERRING our sin over Jesus as Sanctuary(John 2:21) being the Christ(John 1:29,36 Colos 2:2 Rev 21:23). But having as fundament this only one forgiveness through SIN TRANSFERRING over the crucified Lamb, God has installed ALSO AMONG US a system of sins forgiveness AFTER confessing our sins to each other’s(James 5:16 John 20:23 Matt 6:12). Because as God He was able to know that the mostly sinners will live forever in sin when we’re possible to confess their secret sins ONLY to God and not AT FIRST to the one which was hurt, insulted and lied through the secret sin. That was the most necessary to know about you as sinner BEFORE Galatians 2:20(Rom 12:1) 1John 3:9 1John 5:18). Tragically is the fact that even the greatest teacher cannot define God’s GRACE AFTER fulfillment of Galatians 2:20(Rom 12:1) 1John 3:9 1John 5:18 since they still don’t have the foto-theology of the Bible in always more dimensions to have always a more deep understanding reading the next Bible verses to see that only as beginners(as children-1John 2:1 Rom 14:1) WE HAVE sins in 1John 1:8 but AFTER CONFESSING our sins in 1John 1:9 to be CLEANSED in Daniel 8:14 through Galatians 2:20(Rom 12:1) 1John 3:9 1John 5:18 we can have only the past word SINNED in 1John 1:10 referring to our PAST sinful life BEFORE CONFESSING being FORGIVEN and CLEANSED so that WE CANNOT SIN ANYMORE after Galatians 2:20 as you clearly see in 1John 3:9 1John 5:18 etc 1John 1:8 If we say that we HAVE no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 1John 1:9 If we CONFESS our sins, He is faithful and just to FORGIVE us our sins, and to CLEANSE us from all unrighteousness.(Daniel 8:14 1Cor 6:19 1Cor 3:16 James 4:8 Acts 2:40 Acts 11:14 John 17:17 Psalm 119:11). 1John 1:10 If we say that we have not SINNED, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us. Shortly saying, in 1John 1:8 WE HAVE sins which was in 1John 1:9 CONFESSED and FORGIVEN so that in 1John 1:10 we can have only the past word SINNED saying that we SINNED only in the past time BEFORE Galatians 2:20 1John 3:9 1:John 5:18. But the most tragically is the fact is that even the best teachers in theology OF THE Bible they don’t know how to read the 10 commandments Exodus 20 THINKING about verses like Galatians 2:20 1John 3:9 1:John 5:18 Rev 14:12 Colos 1:26 for Colos 2:2 etc. This is why they are also not able to define God’s GRACE AFTER Galatians 2:20 1John 3:9 1:John 5:18 Rev 14:12 etc etc.. They cannot see that AFTER Galatians 2:20(Rom 12:1) 1John 3:9 1John 5:18 CANNOT sin anymore because ONLY Christ live in you. And this is why as being a devoted Catholic you can bring only Christ to a Catholic priest to confess His sins. After Galatians 2:20 1John 3:9 1John 5:18 being a devoted Catholic going to a priest to confess sins you will never be IDentified by God in Revelation 14:12 as being His church of saints who KEEP the commandments OF God having the FAITH of Jesus as being the Christ(Hebrews 11:1 John 2:21). After Galatians 2:20 1John 3:9 1John 5:18 continuing to see yourself still as sinner(John 9:31 James 4:8) you cannot be IDentified by God in Revelation 14:6-9 Rev 18:1-4… Because the Bible make clearly that in Rev 14:7 to FEAR God means to KEEP His commandments which means to NOT sin anymore. And so is clearly that seeing yourself as sinner in Rev 14:6-12 Rev 18:1-4 God see you as liar calling the world to come out from sins because you are a sinner. Thousands Christian religions are pretending to be BORN AGAIN ignoring God’s definition given in 1John 3:9 1John 5:18 making clearly that YOU CANNOT SIN anymore being died in Gal 2:20 and born again in 1John 3:9 1John 5:18 living only God’s word inside YOU(Luke 8:11 John 1:1 Colos 1:27). The died YOU cannot sin anymore and Christ in you He will surely never sin in the you. Understanding all these you should stop insulting Christ in you(Colos 1:27 Gal 2:20) and start seeing yourself as being the saint IDentified by God in Rev 14:12 receiving God’s mystery called Christ(Colos 2:2). Because Colos 1:26 make clearly that only to saints is given God’s mystery called Christ(Colos 2:2) so that seeing in the Bible the whole explanation given in Luke 24:27,44 you will see the NEW Testament revealing the NAME of His Father which His Son has revealed in John 17:6,26 so that making HEARTS BURN(Luke 24:32) in Laodicea(Rev 3:15,16 Colos 2:1) will be delighting in God’s infinite wisdom(Colos 2:3 Proverbs 8:1) having a beginning in Prov 8:22-25 John 1:1,14 for John 2:21 so that even in John 1:1 knowing the PERSON Jesus as being the Christ you will also know all about what was the WORD in John 1:1. John 1:1 In the BEGINNING was the WORD, and the WORD was with God, and the WORD was God. John 1:14 And the WORD was made SANCTUARY(John 2:21), and DWELT among us, and we beheld his glory(sanctuary) the glory as of the only BEGOTTEN of the Father(Psa 2:7 Hebr 1:5 Acts 13:33) full of GRACE and TRUTH(Psa 119:142 Psa 77:13 John 4:22,23 Eph 2:6 Mal 2:6).
That was a great question. I wanted to add that your husband can't know the depth of your wound; therefore, he can't offer an apology that's going to fully heal you. In fact, he probably has touched some self-image related wound that was already there. Only Jesus knows the depth of your pain and he wants to heal you. I kindly suggest that whenever you feel the pain come back, gently move your eyes from yourself unto Jesus. You might have to forgive again and again until the burden is no longer there. Remember how the Israelites had to look at the bronze serpent and be saved, so are we saved and healed by looking unto Jesus and trusting Him with all heart. In Isaiah 45:2 the Lord says: "Look unto Me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the earth: for I am God, and there is none else."
Natasha Tretyakov yes I agree. I came to the video for help in forgiving someone not in marriage but who I see on an almost weekly basis and the apology was so empty and without any real care, and no desire to actually repair the relationship between brother and Sister in Christ. It’s been a YEAR but because the hurt and self image is sooo deep and complicated, and the fact that the ‘offender’ is held in such high view and is in leadership, with unchecked behavior. And I spent so much time trying to resolve correctly with those 4 steps within myself and my spirit, that the issue is too old and too mute to address with higher leadership. I’m really stuck, at 9:30 and beyond each time that pain flares up. I’m just wondering if it’s ok to just not LIKE that person. I can behave kindly toward him, I can love the enemy but he does feel like an enemy when I see him.
@@amandabeejoyful4954 If he's a brother or sister in Christ you should speak with him privately even if it is an old issue. It sounds like your holding a grudge, but I am not sure. If you feel like you are holding a grudge, then pray about it. And the next time you see him, if it bothers you, have a talk with him privately. We don't have to like each other but we do need to love each other. Ask Him to help you sincerely forgive him or her according to His will. He will hear you! Have confidence in that.
@@amandabeejoyful4954 I'm in agreement with the previous advice. I personally just tell someone up front if I feel they have offended me. It took me a while to get to that point, because of my own past wounds, but I find that when I don't deal with it right then and there, I obsess about it and it begins to fester. Most of the time when I tell them up front, it turns out to be a simple misunderstanding, which is where most conflicts arise. I feel like if someone is disingenuous about an apology, then it should be pointed out immediately. I think the only way to deal with people like that is to put them on the spot, because liars and narcissists are weakest when they are exposed. I have a similar problem with a brother in one of my ministries, our relationship is better, but still rocky and it took me many times of confronting him and many hours of prayer and introspection. We are commanded to confront those who sin against us and others, but do so lovingly with the fruits of the Holy Spirit. I'm not going to tell you what you "should" and "should not" do, because what may be best for me, may not be best for you. Just something to think about. But yes, most certainly, I would pray earnestly about it. If you feel like you hate or resent this person, be honest with God about it - He already knows, but He wants to be in relationship with you, and He wants to free you from the burden of sin - "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble of heart; and you will find rest. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." (Matt. 11:29-30) And I feel that the only way to do that is to be honest. I cannot begin to tell you how many tears have fallen and how many times I have cried out, literally screaming because I was so angry and so frustrated from all the hurt, but felt infinitely better afterwards. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Col. 3:15-17) Hope that helps! I'll be praying for you! :)
Why carry somebody "piggyback" get over it .....you will only spoil your health and future. If the person matters shower him/her with a little more genuine affection. If he/she doesn't matter, act on Romans 12:19 ..... I have been taking my situation to God JOYFULLY for the last so many years and I am at peace. It's amazing how people respond thereafter!
Just in case you want a recap on His suggestion s: Having pain after forgiveness is ok but can turn into bitness, selfishness, and anger without notice. Tips: 1. Hand it over to God for proper Judgement and settle accounts 2.Direct your mind away from hurt and focus on The good 3.Do good to the person whom hurted you, with acts,words and more. 4. Dont seek to punish the others but seek the good of others.
There is nothing wrong with righteous or justified anger. The scriptures say "Do not be angry without REASON" and "In your anger sin not". Both of these infer it is correct to feel anger against mistreatment, abuse, neglect. Just make sure it doesnt lead to sin and work through the pain with God in prayer and those one can confide in. Jesus himself, and God, were angry on many ocassions. And he was God. He understands our pain and anguish when we bring it to him.
Here’s how I am able to forgive those who have deliberately caused me unbearable grief. The evil done against me is actually their problem. Not my problem. They choose to do evil. That’s on them. Has nothing to do with me. So I forgive then because that’s their choose to do evil. Not mine. They can either repent and turn to God which is preferable. Or face God’s justice in the future.
Yes, I relate to what you are saying, not to mention that I haven't hurt others, but I find in my life I must forgive, or else I'm miserable, so for my peace of mind and sanity I choose to forgive. Sometimes I wish I could delete painful memories, but that won't happen in this life
The other's actions may be wrong, but quite understandable. That makes it easier to forgive them. The Jews who crucified Jesus, and those who stoned Stephen, thought that they were protecting their national religion. St Paul was present at the stoning of Stephen, and fully supported them, then and afterwards. He carried a warrant to rub out the Christian sect, but that did not prevent him from being a great Christian, himself. (It has been suggested that even then, by dispersing the Christians, he was helping to spread the Faith, cf. the words of Joseph, featured here recently.)
Having flashbacks of when someone did something wrong to you doesn't mean that you haven't let go of what they did. It just means that the pain of the memory will come back sometimes. Our only job in that moment is to walk away from what we're doing and think of something else or even do something else to help us work through the pain of that moment.
One year ago my husband of 35 years left me for my best friend. ... the pain is unending. .. each time I am hit by the anger that comes waves of grief I claim the God's power not to sin in my anger. I pray for them to turn to God .. they have actively rejected faith. I acknowledge before God that the reason they can hurt me is in love them. That my love for them is miniscule compared with God's. And in this I can find God's peace in the middle of the storm of pain.
Deborah Cohen I am sorry for what happened to you. I will pray for your husband and your friend. I have only been with mine for nine years and He has hurt me in many ways, one of which is infidelity even though he swears he has never been with another woman, only God knows. I was also sexually abused as a child and neither of these two people have ever said I am sorry. My question to God has often been “Lord, you have said that if a person sins against me, the number of times that person comes back asking for forgiveness that that many times I should forgive, but what happens when they don’t ask for forgiveness?” And the way the Lord always answers is, “forgive still”. I will be pray for you also that you may heal and not feel that anger within you. And I ask that you do the same for me because I know how difficult it is when the memories come at you and torment you and how the devil takes advantage of that and fills us with many sinful emotions.
@@clararamirez8195 if truly your husband is the one God destined for you, even though he is unfaithful, God can and will restore your marriage if you let Him. I have no experience on this, I am actually just 14, but God grants me wisdom.
Dear Sisters Deborah and Clara, may the Lord heal all those hurting and broken places in you. I was praying this morning that the Lord would be enthroned in my will, in my emotions, in my mind and over my flesh! May He reign in all of us in every way. At the end of the day, He is the single most important ONE. And I don't want anything to hamper our relationship. May God strengthen us in our different paths to always choose forgiveness. And may he give us beauty for ashes! Bless you dear Sisters😍😍
@@bean7496 I am sorry but this is wrong. What do you mean if her husband is the one for her God will restore her marriage???? Of course he the one for her. They are married. God does not break a family / marriage so that he can make a new one elsewhere! God can restore her marriage. His will is for them to remain married for life. But we have free will he will not force her husband. But he will have consequences
There is a spiritual aspect to this as well the devil will sometimes often bring these things to rememberce to hurt you to try and get you back at square one. You bring up No weapon formed against you shall prosper (if you be in Christ). Also remember to fill your self with Christ tell yourself (I dont care how it sounds) that you Are fearfully and wonderfully made, by the ALMIGHTY
I have struggled with forgiving my ex wife. She divorced me when my oldest daughter was 13 and my youngest was only 4. She hates me and I’ve been there for my daughters in spite of her coldness. I’ve changed and attend church every Sunday. My youngest and I were baptized on Easter Sunday. I feel she just gave up and abandoned me. I struggle financially and pay child support even though she earns over 150k a year. She’s made it impossible to have a normal relationship with my daughters. I just pray the Lord will give me the strength to forgive her. I do pray for her. 🙏🏼
@@user-kv6st1jv1b its not been easy. Its been a year of fighting this feelings of thinking i didn't Love enough, the times i might not acted according to the scripture and learning to love the person i gave everything of me and broke me. Learning to love like God loves me, i dont have the heart of God that's what i tell him so i ask him to help me.
I'm divorced as well because my wife chose infidelity. I have forgiven her and we coparent well and the relationship she left me for, ghosted her for someone else less than a year later. 2 families destroyed. We are friends but I cannot forget and harbor bitterness.
At 9:16 you find your mind helping you make sure you don't find any value in the message. If the beginning didn't give you the answer, there was nothing left in the end. :)
On the contrary all of it is worth listening to, if you did not listen to the message before, how likely are you to care for the advice. This is advice given in love, it should be received humbly. This man has been made an example for all of us, so let's appreciate the work of The Lord in him.
The content of John's talk echoes the conclusions I have come to myself, after a lifetime of reading scripture and trying to live as a close disciple of the Lord. I think of two New Testament quotes, which help me focus on my own thoughts, motivations and reactions, rather than the "wrongs" from others: "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good," and, "In your anger, Do Not Sin!!!" We have to keep an eye on ourselves, because evil can be soooooo contagious! And we have to see where it can outflank us!!! I fully endorse what the pastor says, here.
Was full of bitterness against someone I felt treated me unfairly, when the autoplay function brought this video up. Was touched. Felt the hatred melt away. May God bless you and your ministry Pastor John Piper!
Saw this picture in my mind Thank You Pastor John! It will hurt, bleed and maybe even leave a scar ...Nevertheless, it is our responsibility to take care of that wound, so it doesn't fester, and get infected with anger resentment and ultimately bitterness :/
it is difficult if they bring it up everytime, i will ask God for supernatural help. thank You, Lord Jesus, for showing Pastor John's message, help me, Lord Jesus 🙏
Thank you. I need this. I've been crying myself to sleep the past two night because of how I hurt my boyfriend with my response to his shortcomings. I've always wanted to be a loving woman. If we get a second chance, I pray that Jesus helps me have more loving responses to situations.
Thank you, Pastor John. This has been great food for thought. Using the example of Paul was brilliant. In my understanding of Paul through his letters, Paul spent his time in solitary confinement, examining the afflictions that tormented him. I think, I can identify with Paul, in that the battle is in the mind. Whenever my guard is down, I find myself, challenging these negative thoughts, of unworthiness, from out of the blue. I know difficult. It is nothing compared to what is happening now. By and through God, is carrying me. Praising Jesus Name and learning to examine this joyfully! I am a child of God!
Pastor, thank you for the podcast. It is so timely. I struggle with bitterness for so long. But its so sad here in our place we don't have any Biblical church or anyone who meets the criteria to shepherd and counsel us. Pray for us to have a man who loves the truth and has a burden for God's people.
Here's what I believe: memory is involuntary and, therefore, not in our control. Forgiving is voluntary, therefore, something we can exercise. If we truly forgive, then the memory does not sting or hurt us anymore.
I have a brother in Christ who, in the beginning, was a high grace person in my life. In other words everything this man did either irritated me, made me angry, or down right scared me. I went through an exceedingly long season asking God to put the love of Christ in my heart towards this person. But now he is a dear brother in Christ and basically part of my family. We need to ask God for the type of love and grace He requires us to have towards people.
Me too, I'm going through some medical and mental issues with epilepsy, and I loose control of my anger sometimes, and the other day I started yelling at this very physical and mean guy that lives in the same building as I do, and now this guy won't consider my medical problems, like when I asked him to just leave me alone! But now I'm looking at real physical life threatening harm, and I need to forgive this person? I'm sure nobody reading this is going through it, if he hits me in the head I'll go into status epilepticus, (non stop seizures till my death!) What do I do? God please help me with this problem and person.🙏✝️
#5. Go to Jesus for healing. Tell Jesus how your husbands comment made you feel. Then sit quietly & listen to Jesus respond with His words of TRUTH & love that He brings to your mind. This will shatter the lies of the enemy that keeps us imprisoned. Ask the Lord to give you his eyes to see the person as he does. compassion for the one who hurt us is evidence of the Lords healing work - freedom from pain.
I’d say yes to that. I can forgive someone sincerely all the while still dealing with the after effects (trauma) from the offense(s). For example, I can forgive my parents who physically & psychologically abused me yet suffer from ptsd symptoms and working through that. I think the problem with many in the church body is they’re, for some reason, unable to understand differentiation and nuance with these matters. It turns into this thing to where if one truly forgives it means they wear a smiley face all the time and put themselves in the company of the offender even if said offender continues the offensive behaviors/actions. Also, many in the church feel like if one is still dealing with the after effects then its an indicator that their faith is not high. They’ll say “he/she isn’t praying hard enough” or “God is not favoring them hence why they’re still suffering.” That’s nothing more than the religiosity spirit working through these disillusioned people. That’s not of Jesus. To those who need to hear this, yes, your declaration of forgiveness is legit even though at times you may struggle with seeing the perpetrator(s) in a high regard. God understands your fallibility as finite human beings. The fact that you forgave and attempt to move forward is what God wants and sees in you. God bless!
LOVE this wise, encouraging, concise explanation of forgiveness and pain. The analogy of Paul's physical wounds taking time to heal even after he had forgiven his abusers in his heart was the exact illustration I needed to help me understand what's going on in my own heart and mind when I take a little time to recover after being wronged by someone close to me. I also have to remember NOT to ruminate on the pain. The urge to ruminate is taking counsel in your own mind - instead, I try to turn that rumination into prayer. God already knows how I feel, so talking to HIM about it, taking counsel in HIM, is far more productive than running circles inside myself, where my wisdom is faulty and my heart is sinful. Sometimes I will even find myself asking for God's help in forgiving again and again. It's not always a one-and-done deal.
Sooooo helpful! So insightful and so encouraging. Pastor John did such a great job articulating every aspect of my own struggle against not giving in to sinful responses, and the complexities associated with unintentional hurtful behaviors. I needed to hear this today. Thank you, Pastor John! Thank you, Lord for leading me to hear this at this time.
I think it depends. If you let a person look after your children and you find that person abused them, you will be angry and will press charges. But after forgiving them, will you forget and let them look after your child again? I think there are times when common sense should be employed.
I have known Christians who have said "I cannot forgive that one" but anybody who really has Jesus knows that they are forgiven as soon as they confess. I am one who forgives right away. I have told one person on the phone I forgave him and he said he already knew it.
I was treated badly by a church sister I thought was a friend but she had an agenda. It was hairy because we both had a lot to lose but they supported the other person so it turned into church hurt on the part of those individuals. Not long after I removed myself from that circle, it happened again. Like anywhere else, there can be exploitative people and predators who attend churches. I feel like I remind myself of what happened out of trauma, because I don't want to forget the lesson I learned and because I want to prevent it happening again by trusting either those people or someone else who does the same.
1st Peter 2 verse 23 When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.”
As I heard the reason for her pain it reminded me of the relationship I had with my wife. My wife would tell me if she thought I needed a haircut, a shave, if I needed some sun, if my outfit didn't look good, if it looked like I put on weight, to smile more, and many other things. I really liked that about her. I came to rely on her for it. I knew she had my best interest at heart. I would have never crossed my mind to think it was to hurt me. And, her advice was always spot on. That being said, As a man in our culture I would have never said any of those things to her without her directly asking my opinion and even then I would search very hard in my mind for the best diplomatic response. In our culture these words are hurtful whether intended or not. We must not allow words to have power over us. That is our sin. If words have no power over us we can then recognize whether they were intended as weapons or not and forgive if they were
This is very good. Don’t sallow the bitter root. Amen, direct your thoughts away from the hurt and disappointment!
4 года назад
Nice simple analogies, unfortunately many situations linger and involve more complexity’s that involve minors and ongoing difficulties, it’s a blessing to be able to neatly resolve situations for those that can otherwise at times for decades there’s a need to put on your armour and hand over to God for his grace and mercy can do what man just cannot in a unrepentant unregenerate soul.
I only wish this had addressed the distrust that can arise whenever we are attacked or hurt intentionally, especially by our partner. I think that distrust is a more powerful wedge than bitterness or resentment in a relationship. That said, I appreciate this advice. To forgive even while we bear the wounds is a powerful act.
Goodness me , I have staggered to this after one of the worst conflicts ever with my mother , and that is wonderful words , I will try my very best to do them. Thank you Lord Jesus for your forgiveness of me as I forgive her 🙏🏻
Always insightful and encouraging by giving true praise to and glory to Christ .On a side note, though the cool visual video montage on the screen was distrating me that I had to restart and hear again.
Pastor John, thank you so much for being such a good vessel of The Lord. Tonight, He used you to help me receive the answer I've been seeking for so long. I'm not talking about the question that what initially asked-- which, ultimately is the answer, the key, but I wanted to thank you and give praises to The Lord, and encourage whomever it may concern ! When I was little, I was deeply and seriously hurt by so many people. I was raped, rejected and abused in all ways possible by people. Those created deep wounds in my soul, which, because I was undisciplined and didn't know The true Healing touch and Marvelousness of God, led me to a sinful life. The pain created a big hole in my soul, and chronic pain that I thought wouldn't heal... When I met The Lord, the pain kept being here and, long story short, I had to go through some valleys ( which, to be honest, I didn't enjoy ) to the point I thought my pain would not cease; so I kept asking God, not necessarily in the right attitude, nor the right way, to heal me. Meanwhile, I was so angry, resentful against those who hurted me, and foolish, as I was looking for ways to cope with the hurt. I justified my anger and bitterness by the actions of others, but sin because of sin doesn't make us righteous but unrighteous, too, this I didnt ( wanted to ) realize. I was so selfish and inaccurate concerning the healing process: i thought that God would do some crazy-extraordinary ( which, in the end, He did. He always did ) things, like setting me upper others, making them ask me for forgiveness or idk, something like we see in movies/ Ted talks. Tonight, I realized He always had answered my question. The way to healing is forgiveness. And, Jesus showed us the answer, since the whole beginning. God always showed me the answer, I wasn't just ready to realize it... Now, another big step is to be taken, which is the actual forgiveness act, but, praises be to The Lord for He is, indeed, so so good. Now, I rest in the knowledge that God will make a way, and I have tears of joy for He is super faithful. Many times He told me, through His Word, that " in its time, He, The LORD, will hasten it" ( Isaiah 60:22 ). He took His time to carefully teach me about my need for forgiveness, too, and the true power of forgiveness. Forgiveness is what causes us to be reconciled with God, thanks to God's Forgiveness of our sins, that was paid by Jesus Christ on the cross, we are all ( able to be ) healed, if we accept Him ! He showed us The Way since the beginning. Again, all thanks and all praises shall go to The Lord our God, for He is truly Good ! :)
I had to do this with another Christian who had hurt me terribly. I remember God telling me to love her and I replied "Lord, she isn't loveable but, for You, I will do it." No, I didn't change right that moment and because of the close contact I am forced to have with this woman I still struggle to forgive her. Often I have asked God "why does it seem like she can act any way she wants, hold grudges against me for months on end, talk to me with such disrespect and challenge every scripture I quote against her sin, AND get away with it?" That really baffled me and still does. I sin and within minutes the Holy Spirit is right there to correct me either through the counsel or comments of others, His inner promptings or by the Word of God. Yet, she sins in word and deed and just walks on as if she's privy to some kind of spiritual diplomatic immunity! I see her laughing, going on retreats, taking communion, and praising God free as a bird. It hurts. REALLY hurts. She had even joined a womens bible study group I was leading all the while giving me the silent treatment outside of the group! Sometimes I think "maybe it's all a big front. Maybe she ain't gettin' away with nothin'" ? Then, when I think she actually might be paying in secrecy for her sins either through illness or whatnot, I feel bad and want God to help her. Back and forth like this for over 25 years. Yes, this has been going on for a quarter of a century!! Sooooo many times I wanted to cut her out of my life just to stop the emotional hemorrhage she causes, just to retain some peace in my life, but we are so joined that God won't let either of us depart from the other. Sometimes I want to grab hold of her and shake her and say "stop this! Just submit, change, repent, obey!" Or "if you don't care about me and you got a problem with me then leave me aloooooone!" Anyway, anyone out there reading this and you have a burden to pray for us, please do. Amen
Baby Bunny your enemy is probably not saved! Remember *you* are God’s child (therefore the painful discipline). *you* will see Jesus one day. This other gal will be tormented for eternity. Pity her.
God chastens and reproves the one who is His child. If this woman not only thinks she has a license to sin but suffers no kind of conviction or reproof then by all rights she is no Child of God but one whom Christ shall spew out of His mouth on judgment day. Paul said it best: Ye shall know them by their fruits. Keep going strong in The Lord, brother. Forgive her 70x7 times but do not give up hope! I pray that you will press on in the faith and I hope to see you in the skies, brother! In Jesus name Amen
How we respond to the sin of of others against us without committing sin ourselves!! gosh I struggle with this so much, I feel so justified when I respond with what I think they “deserve”
Great video hv bn asking myself this question for a very long time..am quick to forgive bt catch myself in da hurt mentally & emotionally..keep reminding myself of Jesus's purpose was & is for the better.
Pastor John, this is such a good answer to the lady's s question. It has helped me to understand much. My husband said to me that he loves the dog more than me. Well the dog died sadly......but every time I see a picture of the dog I think of what he said. My husband has said so much to me just venom. I get on my knees and pray. I forgive him .He broke covenant of marriage. This is not how KING JESUS said to treat your wife. Thanks for these programs.
Such. A hurtful thing to say to u he had to have not liked himself that much to say that to u cause if a person is full of love they wouldn't dream of saying it
My dad said something similar. Before dying, he was angry and bitter and regularly said if he had to do it over again, he wouldn’t have gotten married and had kids. I’m glad I didn’t need to pick a nursing home for him. His words only affirmed my deep-rooted issues that I was a mistake and my life is without value.
@@qdllc no, no, no. YOU. Yes YOU are precious. More than all the diamonds and gold in the world. You are precious, not because we love you,but because YOU are a child of the Lord, because YOU are loved, not just by your brethren, not just by anyone, but by God, remember, God is the creator of the universe, author and finisher of our faith, the One who knows all the hairs on your body and can name and count each one. The One who keeps the earth turning,the One who keeps you smiling..... The One...... who sacrificed His blameless Son, just so He could show you His love,here on earth, in heaven, the renewed heaven and on the renewed earth. Whenever you feel down and unworthy, unloved, just pray this - "Lord, just keep loving me" Trust me, colour will flow right back into your life, He will be exalted by everything. Amen.
Toluwanimi Alli - All true, but this is why parents must be careful of the words they speak to their children. A damaged relationship with the earthly father impairs a healthy relationship with the Heavenly Father.
I do agree in the context of rehearsing the wrong done to you. But I feel some wrongs need to be confronted. Not necessarily against myself. Even Paul confronted Peter because of his hypocrisy (Galatians 2). It's hard to know when or when not to do this.
Thank u for then reminder to pray for our offender or abuser. My mother has abuser me since childhood,,- verbally, emotionally and physically. At 75, she's unrepetant and the journey has been long and difficult. I'm free and has cast all cares to Jesus. I'm learning to set boundaries and she condemns me for dishonoring her. How do I set boundaries to an abusive mother and continue to honor her without allowing the abuse?
I would very much like an answer to this question to? it gets kind of hard to be there for a mother who shows she doesn't even like you but plays the part around your dad , brother and other so i look like the bad person please any advice 🙁???
Hi, how are you? I just read in one of the comments in Pstr. John Piper's podcast about confronting verbal abuse, that we honor the Lord by not allowing the sin to continue. Confront her. Tell her the hurt she's causing you and how it's destroying your mental and emotional health. And if she responded in negation, maybe that's the time for you to move out. God loves you so much and He hates any form of abuse. The comment also said that when we create boundaries and not allow them to trespass against us again, we allow them to repent of their sins and turn to the Lord. You love your mother, I can feel that. She may not also mean to really hurt you, it's just that she's too broken. But, for this time that she's hurting you, it's better that you stop allowing it, confront her and move out; remove any form of access as much as possible...if it's what God will tell you. Please seek God abd He'll tell you what to do. Read Boundaries too by Dr. Cloud, I've been watching his videos on RU-vid, it's helping me. ☺ God bless you. May the Lord be with you as you face and confront your mother. Also, please seek help from authorities because I saw she's physically abusing you too. :(
My struggle is the person hurt me and doesn't admit their mistake and thinking they are doing something right so making me the bad person in the situation. What's worse is the person professes to be a Christian, but without remorse. The person is ok with me being hurt.
I was very depressed for over a year after my best friend's girlfriend burned the bridge between me and him, but after I found God a few weeks ago, He is letting me work on letting go of the hurt's intensity and to forgive her. I wish that we could be friends again, but she'd have to contact me first, if I did that there's a good possibility of her gossiping about me and me getting mad at her and undoing everything.
I have a neighbor that is the epitome of a “grumpy old man.” When I’m working in the yard he has no reservation about coming out and yelling at me if I’m doing something he doesn’t like. The first couple of times he did it I responded badly and met him with an equal response. Then I just started to ignore him. But it still irks me to this day. However, when I reason through my thoughts I feel like I have forgiven him but the fact that it irks me is in conflict with my forgiveness. It’s duplicitous - sometimes I feel like I have forgiven him, sometimes I feel like he still irks me. I don’t feel like I’m where I need to be so I pray to God often to condition my heart to be more loving and kind - two attributes that I see in God all the time. Oh Lord help me - I’m so weak.
John Piper is doing a really good job as a pastor, preacher, and, influencer! Teaching us great lessons of life via holy bible in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Nazareth must of been a beautiful place.
This was very helpful. Thank you! 😇 So, what do you say when someone intentionally mentally & emotionally abused you for YEARS & you acted in a way that the bible described, such as do good to those who have hurt us, but in doing so, they used that as an opportunity to keep doing it & then leaves the person with trauma that they have to get therapy for; but they're still in your life? It's harder to get over when they're still there as a reminder of all the pain they caused you & continue to cause!?
I understand it’s been a very painful painful journey for me. I’m learning this and applying it myself to share and help, Jesus said to forgive 70x7 so daily wash n cleanse yourself of them daily with forgiveness (releasing anger, revenge in your heart daily) and Obeying Gods words. THYRE trying to make you bitter and bitterness (angry, mad, resentful) will block, destroy and ruin your blessings, so stay clean by forgiveness. However trust is different, it must be earned and have boundaries, if boundaries are crossed you must be ok to forgive(70x7) in your heart however they are not able to be given access to you( heart and emotions) or your possessions because you must be respected by your boundaries( laws, standards) if not consequences will apply and follow, some big some small consequences depending on the degree of disrespect. In all in all continue to pray for forgiveness, a clean heart. Hope that helps. Blessings.
@@msliberated3899 It hurts to hold on & hurts to let go! Either way, my self respect & boundaries mean more to me that the pain ppl cause me. Thank you! 💜
Yes you can have forgiven them. But no one really forgets when they have been wronged. To forgive is the purpose of allowing you to go on with your own life and to accept the other individual for who they are. Now that being said. No one wants to go through being hurt again by the same person because it's very foolish to put yourself through anymore pain coming from that person. It doesn't mean you hate them at all. But if it's a moral issue in your eyes that you don't agree with. In my opinion it's best to care about the person because you know it's the right thing to do, wish them well and let go of any feeling of hurt, pain or desires you may have concerning that person. Forgive and let them go for your own well-being.
*Isiah **38:17**, “for thou hast cast all my sins behind thy back.”* This is what God does to my sin. Perhaps I can’t do that, but I can let love *”cover the multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8* Also *Philippians 3:13 “…forgetting those things which are behind…”* one of the definitions of forgetting is: *“put out of one's mind; cease to think of or consider.* I struggle with this too and it’s not because I don’t want to forgive. The most important thing in this life is to please God, and it is also unjust for me to expect God to forgive me for the many times I have deliberately and mistakenly transgressed His laws, and not extend it to others who have knowingly and unknowingly done the same to me. I need to have God’s heart when it comes to this issue. I thank God for *”the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.” Romans 5:5.* I am praying and asking God to let *His* Agape love flow out of my heart so He can see Divinity operating out of mortality on earth. Forgiving and being forgiven is a heaven and hell issue. *God is worth the struggle…* I would not be surprised if Judas is in Heaven, due to the forgiving nature of Christ. He *did* repent, *Matthew 27:3.* Jesus could have preached to Judas in Hell… *1 Peter 3:19* 🇨🇦
first, you don't have to forgive unless they repent and ask forgiveness, BUT it is good to do so anyway because we have sins we don't even know about or forgot and haven't apologized to God for. SECOND never forget so you learn not to get in trouble with them again or with any similar situation. third, if you are remembering in the sense of brooding and so forth or PTSD-ing out, then you got a problem its poisoning you.
What do you mean if you’re remembering from ptsd it’s a problem that’s poisoning you? PTSD flashbacks aren’t from unforgiveness it’s from your brain trying to process the memory of the trauma. When you experience trauma your mind tries to block it out / distance itself from the trauma so it doesn’t send you into overwhelming stress. That way you can handle it later when you’re not in immediate danger.
If we don't forgive. Then our father in heaven won't forgive us. So if we want to be forgiven we must forgive even if the person doesn't ask for it. Plus if we don't forgive we become bitter. And God can heal anything . So nothing can hurt you
It starts in us. The kingdom of heaven within us. Christ Jesus told us about these days to come where the hearts and minds will grow cold and wicked. I leave you peace? Who said that? We know Christ will come and judge, with that I think we should think about how will we be judged
The most painful thing happen to me is my parents literally laugh at my dream as a performer , singer and dancer , saying i wont get any money from there and from painting . I keep repeating to my self , fogive them forgive them but when the topic is related to school and success it will come back and i will sometimes burst in to tears or anger ( now i dont accidentaly yell that was before now i will stay quite but just by thinking about it it brings me the same emotion i felt during the sutiation ) But at the same i will zay forget it forget about it its already done , forgive already then i will forget it and start hanging out and laughing with my family . Now i keep encouraging my little siblings to go and do what they want like beatboxing for my little sister and sculpture for my little brother , i dont like them to hear what my parents says to me atleast one of their family member will say that they should continue building up their passion . I dont want them to feel what i felt , non of my family encourage me or support my dream all they say is "you will not get any money ,: "we're going to win because trust us you will not get a job there ," "where are you going to perform ? In the bar ?? " etc. It hurts but sometimes i will thank them for doing all those because with all the words im not the person who i am now. And i thank God for making me go through all of those . Everything has a purpose . If you have problem guys just laugh it out be happy in the midst of problem God is with u no matter what . Im still confuse if i forgiven them or not , i want to lern how to fogive people .
I have been contemplating this same question with regards to my father. Although I have considered myself to have forgiven him, there are still times when discussing the past, there is much hurt and criticism over his actions. Also, he is now deceased, so there is no possible way to cultivate any further reconciliation. How do I resolve this and find closure?
If we are guilty in our feelings, we know we can turn to God (1 JOhn1:9-10). But, we can also speak with our Father about it - and confess these feelings to Him. We should also look to Jesus, who loved even those who despised Him in His death for our sins. We should ask God for more love as well.
Read Jesus example to us in Mark 14 and John 13-14. He washed even Judas feet knowing what would take place moments afterwards. As God's children we are called to love as He has loved us, forgive just as in Christ He forgave us, to be merciful as He is merciful. Jesus said that he who is forgiven little, loves little. "Love does not take into account a wrong suffered ". Cast all your cards upon Him for He cares for you.
Well I believe the first step is to acknowledge that there is still a problem. Prayer is a huge weapon that is used against hurt, for me it has worked immensely. One of the most powerful things is to allow God to do is transform you from within through renewing your mind. Allow Him to break those negative thought patterns that are intentionally trying to keep that wound open and prevent you from healing. Ask Him, He will certainly do it. God bless you Michael!
I really need an answer to this: if someone abusive who you got away from for a few years (with no contact while going through DEEP emotional pain and healing process) sends you a text message saying "I'm sorry IF I hurt you" (and I know they're still dangerous for me and manipulatively abusive and I can NOT have any contact with this person ever again... Do I have to tell this person that I forgive him? Or can I forgive him in my own time in my heart without having any contact with him? (I cannot trust him to have ANY contact with me ever again). Thank you. ❤️
With God All Things Are Possible Right Now You Feel That Way If a Person Repents, Test the Spirit by the Spirit...Fuits..(Actions) Towards Repentance...Then Contact is Possible...The Person May Feel Hope Knowing You Forgive Them, And Grow Close to God...Remember With God All Things Are Possible
Pardon the late response to this comment. _I'm sorry _*_IF_*_ I hurt you_ is not a good sign at all of genuine remorse. If you were to give someone the benefit of the doubt, that person is perhaps still learning how to apologize properly. However, this is *_not your case_* . That word I bolded in the first part of my response demonstrates ignorance and an unwillingness to assume personal responsibility for wrongdoing and change for the better. You are not under any obligation to subject yourself to further bullying and harassment from abusive, manipulative people, even professing Christians. As for whether or not to respond to such a text, that is your decision ultimately. First of all, apologizing over a text is utterly impersonal, disrespectful, and counterproductive. As for the question of how to demonstrate Christ's love to extremely difficult people, you can always pray for them privately. They do not have to know necessarily. If other people urge you to take opportunities to speak Scriptural truth into your enemies' lives, that too is an individual choice. Some folks prayerfully choose to endure such challenges while others opt for no-contact with their tormentors. In short, prayer; Bible reading; and consultation with trustworthy, respectable Bible counselors are action steps to consider. In light of the Bible's teachings, these situations are very gray and do not have easy, generalizable solutions.
Hello pastor John , ? Is it possible when I confess to someone that I have forgiven him or her, but I decide to take a period of time without talking to them. ?
