Having to Start Over in Love? WATCH THIS 

I got blindsided 9 months ago in a relationship I thought would be for life. I went no contact immediately, I gave myself grace through the grief, and I reinvested in myself. I leaned on my friends, I kept reading, and I kept growing professionally. Sometimes I miss my ex, but for the most part, I'm doing really well. Having a purpose beyond love is the best way to nurture love.

I like that you are speaking to older singles. People who have built families and homes and are re-starting. I am a single mom in my early 40s dating for the first time since I was 19… with less time than ever due to a good career and parenting… but I still want to meet someone to laugh and share my day with. My husband left in March for a young secretary and devastated me. Your channel, my friends, and other supports have got me through. More of this, you make me feel like loving again is possible but also let me relax and understand that my new found curiosity about me, my identity, is so important too ❤

Hi Matthew, I feel like you are speaking to me directly. I am 53 and lost my husband to glioblastoma in 2019. I met him in 1st year university and we were married for 27 years. I am now at the point where I think I could entertain the idea of meeting someone else because it's lonely being by yourself. I haven't been on a date since high school and I don't know any single men, so it seems like it's so far from possible to meet anyone. Also, I feel like I don't have any time between working, taking care of 2 teenage kids, running the house, and being a caregiver to two elderly parents aged 87 and 92. I am hoping this year that I might be able to make some time for myself, but while I would really like to find someone special, I'm not sure they would be willing to take on a person who is weighed down with so much responsibility! You do give me hope that something good could happen by remaining open to it. Thank you for this video.

I need to find these new reference points for being 34 and single!! My mom said 'how did I fail as a mother that you're unmarried'.....so I def need to push back against those types of painful words and cultural messaging against single women in their 30s, and celebrate my life despite the losses and twists. I'm the single one in the friend group, so that's a little tricky, but I love the idea of even looking to movies/books for inspiration. Thanks Matt 😊

Been there Brandon. It took me three years to get over this man. Some of us are very deep, we do not give our love, our life in a trivial way to someone. It’s more than a surface connection. But take heart, you won’t believe one word I say but you will be happy again, in fact, you haven’t a clue what awaits you in life. I walked through a deep dark valley, no light, no warmth, rain and fog. A valley so deep and narrow there was no light anywhere but I just kept walking, no idea why. And then , I was out, into the sunshine, the warmth and I could laugh again. You will too, trust me, there is life and it’s great, fun, worth living it. Keep safe and keep walking forward. Everyone can see you coming it’s just you can’t see them, YET.

I’m 28 that just ended a bad relationship and feeling hopeless at times and that I may never get married, trying to start over now. I have a lot of family issues and am isolated a lot of the times. The thing that gets me through is working out and soccer at the moment

Thank you for addressing the 50's & 60's! I started listening to you when I first started dating my ex in 2012 - you helped me get through some frustrating times. However, here we are 10-1/2 years later, and it is over. While failed relationships are painful at any age, we were planning our retirement to move and travel next fall when my daughter enters college. While it's only been two months, how can I say that he was the love of my life because the end came like the angry rant of a 12 year-old rather than an authentic conversation between two adults? For anyone who thinks they lost "the one" you would do well to listen to more of Mathew's videos. "The One" doesn't want to leave!

After my divorce I improved 10x over. Got new clothes , gym membership etc

The love of my life ghosted me and now he is engaged , moved on and happy . Still no closure ! It hurts every single day . I can't just can't move on knowing there will never be us again .

Matt et Al thank you for this! As a recently very unexpectedly widowed woman in her 60’s (yikes!) I am living exactly what you’re addressing….Deeply grateful & very impressed your focus on us after you doing the terrific episode on fertility which was fascinating and completely does not apply to moi personally. I appreciate your ability to go beyond your own life circumstances to spotlight those of us at such a very different stage of life. Profound appreciation 🌷🌿💕

Ok I commented too quickly--need to add I watched the whole video and cried by the time you were saying 'you don't know the meaning that will be in your life in 5 years.' I also went through chronic pain/illness for years and got through by thinking maybe the pain could get better, or if not, maybe life could still be good. I was afraid for a second you were going to veer into the realm of 'just positive-think your way out of being single and lonely'....so I appreciate your measured approach, which I think often comes from having gone through pain like a chronic condition. Mine brought me to my knees and showed me I couldn't be bubbly and optimistic about every single thing in life all the time, so now I'm more tender with my sadness. Thanks for reminding me I can be tender with the sadness of being unexpectedly single, too, and I can also employ the old trick of 'one day, this might get better' ❤

Starting again at 70 is not exciting or fun. My blueprint died when my husband died suddenly at 34. He was the father of my children and we were best friends. I don't think I ever recovered. I liked life back then. I have not met an honorable kind man since then. I stayed in an on and off relationship for the past 9 years with a man who kept walking out. I finally realized that was his MO and it wasn't going to change. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I am so lonely. I'd give anything to have my husband back and have companionship and a partner I can trust. I've had enough lessons.

I've given up. Men are not checking for me. At least not the real ones who got their shit together. They are either taken, narcissistic, or not ready for someone real like real.

This is so relevant. I broke up with the only bf I've ever had, since I was 18, about 3 weeks ago. Now I'm 24 and single for the first time in my adult life. Melancholy is the absolute right word though I am excited for the future. I'm 1,700 miles from home and everyone I know. I don't know anything about dating or approaching people. It's alot to adapt to and stay positive.

So glad you are addressing your Older people who have a history and past … Meeting others of same age group? Where ? How ? When ?

Even if you left a relationship with someone that wasn’t working out, there’s always someone else out there waiting to be with you because they’ve always liked you too

Again...such a great message. I find all the conversations you all have to be such a thoughtful listen for me. You all have shifted the way I think. I am in a place of owning my present and shaping my future because of the things you have shared in the various podcasts. Thank you, thank you, thank you, for sharing your insight! I am so grateful, I found your work at this time in my life. Wish I had had this around when I was in my late teens early 20s!

Mathew..you always catch what no one speaks about..the nuances that go unseen and unsaid..thank you Mathew..u saved me by the sincerity of ur words many times before💚

Really needed to hear this today. I lost my partner early May 2022. 🖤

This was so on point and well timed for me in my life right now. Thank you ❤

I believe that in true love, nothing is ever taken from us. If it's real love and you or the other person leaves for whatever reason, you're always going to want the best for them. The type of love I feel for people in my past has changed but it's still there. I feel like my heart just expands to allow for more and different types of love to enter my life in the present and future.

My relationship ended suddenly after 13 years and now I'm completely lost. My ''forever'' was erazed and now I need to start over again. It's horrible and makes we want to give up.

Here because I feel like I won’t be able to find a guy like him. He’s the nicest and I understand he doesn’t want to commit.

Just finished watching all of the video! Love what Matt said. How inspiring! I'm so grateful for these videos! Thank you!!

It’s amazing how I used to “hook up” or date all the time and now just nothing! Being in my mid 40’s and still single it is SO difficult! I don’t have the time, energy or perhaps heart to put into it. Kinda sad… It’s all just too much work and there’s not much reciprocation for my efforts anymore.

You were somehow talking about my experience: I’ve been married during twenty years, it was a second marriage, and we were still very in love. But a younger woman arrived and it was the end of it. It was when my older son left to work in Japan. My younger son and I moved from Paris (France) to Los Angeles. So, I was traumatized with a very heavy depression but I found the way (thank you doctor) to build my business here. That was in 2006 when we moved. In 2011, I got robbed by two men with a gun in my shop. My activity became more online, accentuated by the Covid later. Basically I became scared of men, especially when they are wearing sunglasses, which is rather current in Los Angeles. My younger son got married here, and now it’s only me and my cat. I am not against the idea of finding someone new, but I have this vision that it should be related to my work and that this man should be very trustworthy. I am not less busy because of my age, on contrary, I have never worked so hard, and I think that I will never be able to stop working, which is not a problem for me because I love my job. But it’s true that the fear factor + the fact that I am working mostly from my home on the computer doesn’t help. Before the Covid, I was going to music concerts in my area. It was great because I love music, but the audience was so young, it was like being among my sons’ friends. I was feeling very lonely and old, not at the right place at all, even if the music was good most of the time. I don’t think that I will do that again for many reasons. Honestly, I don’t put all my energy in finding someone. I would like this someone to find me.

I love Audrey's insight as a contributor in these videos. She is so understanding and articulate, and I don't know if it's perhaps shared experience or just that she has an incredible grasp of what it actually feels like to be in these scenarios, but I have found that I always really connect with what she is has to say. I always appreciate the dialogue in these conversations, however I am always a little sad when it seems like one of Audrey's thoughts is interrupted and left unfinished. I imagine it's probably just the dynamic of staying with a previous train of thought before it's lost, but I always love to hear where her insight lands or the pertinent question she arrives at in the end. I have found that to be an incredibly helpful and relatable piece of these conversations. Much appreciation for you all 👏

I’m turning 65 and YES I would rather have my husband back than the lesson. And I cannot imagine how to date now?

Thank you Matthew! As someone that had the amazing opportunity of being married for 22 years to a human Unicorn (he WAS THAT SPECIAL!♥️) caring for him as he/we navigated through ALZHEIMERS & then being at his side as he crossed, I for the first time in years had time just for myself to grieve & heal. BUT then I got caught up w/ a covert Narc. That was almost more detrimental to my whole being than my husbands death. BUT I finally disentangled, disassociated & realized because I allowed such crappy treatment from another that hmmmmm, there’s some deep seated issues from waaaaay back that I need tend to in order to be truly healthy. Thanks to lovely souls such as yourself, Lewis Howes, Mel Robbins, Stephanie Lyn, Wayne Dyer & Mr. Jim Rohn I’m well on my way to being whole & well within & on my own! Now that being said… I do like coffee & nice convo! Thanks! Please take care of yourself as much as you do others Matthew! 🙌🏻 “Stilllll going @ 57 1/2…. ☺️💓✌🏻🙌🏻👍🏻💓

It's the paradox of happiness. The more you seek for happiness, make it a goal and go out of your way to directly search it you will suffer the most and never achieve it. The solution some propose is to not make it your goal and ignore it, do something else and indirectly achieve happiness. This can be applied to love.

Got out of a near 6 year relationship about 8 months ago. I know what I want from a relationship, but I have no idea how to know if someone is right for me. I don't know if I should think about it logically or if it's something I need to feel. I honestly feel hopeless at times because I keep getting let down.

I am 55 in great shape and financially stable. My battle with relationships over decades isn’t with the partners and experiences I had it was finding wholeness within because I had a very traumatic start and no one showed me I was enough. This either keeps you single for life or it keeps you in a toxic relationship till death or your too tired and old to have the fire to go back out there and start over. Love is very mysterious to me. We don’t always have all the answers

This is, like, amazing career advice. Especially for people who are in a crossroad and have to start this kind of journey at a point.

Married 15 yrs.... Had to start over. ... Married 22 yrs the second time ... Had to start over.... Married and awaiting my 3rd divorce. Sick and tired of starting over. Most of my life I've been a housewife, I'm now starting working when most people my age are getting ready to retire ... Last husband is a narcissist and I no longer trust anyone. Do I want to find love? Yes, but I will be very cautious from now on

Audrey is such intelligent woman. I wish she can create her own channel someday in the future. ❤

11:50 - I’m 28 and I feel this way. I can’t imagine how over it I would be at 50.

I usually resonate with Matthew's content and I love it because it gives me some great insights... Not this one, though. Clearly, he's not familiar with what it feels like to lose the love of your life at 46 because he decided to leave after 18 years together, which were years of happiness, intense connection, love, true friendship, mutual support in the face of adversity and effective partnership, at least from my perspective. The rug was pulled from under my feet, and my life changed completely, forever, and not necessarily for the better. And no. It's not the same to lose a partner to death, however painful and devastating that may be. When a partner dies, at least, ideally, he/she still loves you... When a spouse leaves you, they also take away their love for you ... Frankly and egotistically speaking, I would have preferred my husband dying to leaving me - at least I would remember the good stuff only if he had died... I have lost both my parents to death, so yes, I'm familiar with that pain, too... In my case, I lost not only my husband and best friend - I lost trust, everything I had believed in was shattered, I even had an identity crisis... No amount of movie references can cure that (and we are generally advised not to look for role models in movies when it comes to love, right?). Yes, there are lessons I have learnt but this is not just your regular 'relationship as a life teacher' kind of situation... And yes, I have had to learn how to date, in a completely new dating landscape. And in a different country with a different language where I had to move. But the truth is, 5 years and two short-lived relationships later, I'm not getting any closer to finding the kind of partner I'm looking for... So please, Matthew, you can do better than this when you address the 50+ demographic.... We belong to a different generation, our points of reference are different, so are our needs, and singlehood at this stage of life can be, but not necessarily is, fun, nor dating is just a matter of curiosity and open-mindedness 🙂

Been single is the best way.

32 old woman, lost job. I had video call from my man at Friday. Heh ... he treated me as I see like booty call because of my situation. Year and 2 years ago he wanted to marry me. Now only made calls and expected me to undress. But I never wanted. At Friday he said that he sees that for sure I don't want him, that I am liar. I cried but he told me to go back to bed. He said that he is on higher level than me, that I want to talk and he hates that. I only wanted to not be used. Because of me not having job he started to treat me bad as someone worse than him. He called it relationship but it looked like using me. He usually ghosted me for a week or even 3 months. I suffered a lot in life, I am completely alone (no man, no friends) and had to be treated so bad as he did. I don't believe that I will find someone else, get married and have kids. I don't even believe that I will find job soon 💔

Matt Hussey, you mentioned a book An Old Man and The Sea. There is an author who also wrote books about his own experiences, his name is Tristan Jones. He sailed around the world and wrote books about his adventures.

Love what you say at the end, have the humility to say it may get better

My husband of 8 yrs told me two weeks before Christmas 2022 that he was “ done with me” and leaving .........I’m so numb 😢

Matt, your girlfriend is so nice, gentle and wise ❤

I wish I could att be such an event like what you described. However it is probably out of my price range.

Thank you so much for this. 😢 It is right on time for me.

Lol I just got dumped on new years and I feel so blindsided and confused

Thank you Matthew!

It's such a different group of singles out there. The guys that want to date me are much older, much younger, or alot of cynical, angry men that are divorced that just want sex. Most guys tell me they want friends with benefits. I haven't even tried bats, not my scene.

This is all I know. Here I go again 💔

Wow, what a privilege to say that one enjoys their back against the wall. It's just such a privileged thing to say. Imagine being able to be in a position where that's a fun thing and not traumatising or PTSD inducing. I love what Matt and Audry say though! Very empathetic! Really grateful for these videos!

Whatvwould you address to when you were ill?

I feel like you guys are the friends I never had ❤️ you always give me the right advice at the right time. What witchcraft is this??

Thank you

Thank you mathew, u r the best ❤

chaman , how are you doing???

Is there an in-person retreat?

hey, i konw this might be a wierd question but what is the name of the song you use towards the end of the video?

Hey guys, need some help, I’m looking for an old video of Matt’s on self improvement. He mentions talking to an old ex about where the relationship went wrong and them saying he lost his drive. Would anyone be able to help me find that video? I would find it useful to be able to watch that again, thanks

Hey Matt! Been following for some time now, I recognise you say, look for the person that invests and be the person that get excited, but what if I am excited by all people I date I am (Emotionally) connected and always assume it can be something. Does this mean my blue print is bull? 🤣. As a constant? Kinda fed up being on the constant rat race, as an FYI i am a gay male so maybe not your target audience however I think all your content applies to all.

Hey great video thanks. But I've been extremely harassed by scammers and I cannot trust anyone again. The world is not a nice place anymore.

Not living it is :)

😭😭😭 Please I need your help. I'm dating a married man. I need your advice

Urgent emergency Please join me in prayer for Damar Hamlin and family he collapsed during football game in critical condition he desperately need your prayers please pray Him God bless you all 🙏

🖤🖤🖤

💜💜💜

🧡🧡🧡

Honestly, this video is helping me save my life. I appreciate how he affirmed that sometimes it’s hard to get excited about anything. When all you see before you is more pain, it’s incredibly hard to not just give up. Thank you Matthew.

This couldnt be brought out at a better time for me. My bf of 2.5 years broke up with me for the second time. I've realized I need to work on myself weather or not I'm in a realtionship or not. He just needs to be single and work on himself. He was very selfish and often wanting to do stuff with the boys and invalidating my feelings. If we come back great, if not, I'll find better. Because he said "You deserve better" I realized he doesn't want to or just can't be better for me right now and he needs to work on that. There are things I need to work on too. But its probably for the better. I still need to pick up my stuff lol its been aroudn 2 weeks..

I find myself single, drunk and alone in a house I bought on my own. The definition of single. I pray to God each day that I find the man I'm supposed to grow old with. I have a good network of friends and family, forever grateful. Yet I still feel an empty, loneliness that I never imagined when I was 15 and envisaging my future adult life. For anyone else in a similar position, I feel you. I acknowledge your pain and confusion. I hope, from the bottom of my heart, you find your meaning and person. And above all else, I hope you get the peace you deserve. God bless you ❤

Ok I decided to share my story, maybe someone will find it cheering. I meet my ex husband in a highschool and we were together ever since. We grew up together and I thought we will age together, but apparently it was not the case. Out relationship did last 17 years, including 6 married, so it had a lot of stages, sometimes it was wonderful and sometimes it was horrible. Last year he decided to divorce, which I didn't want to because I did love him. But I saw clearly that he is investing his feelings somewhere else and he could stay with me only if I manipulate him, which I didn't want to do. So I did let him go. It was painful as hell, to me it felt as someone took my skin of and salted the wound. But on the other hand I knew that there's no coming back and I just have to push through. My daily routine helped me a lot, thanks to that I had something to do, even tho sometimes I didn't want to and decided to lie down and cry - and this is also okay. Sometimes I feel unworthy because I don't have a relationship. I also meet someone during this time, but there's no happy ending. He didn't want to commit, so it kinda of blurred out, and of course it did hurt also. Time passed, emotions got stabilized, I got used to live alone. It's not perfect, there is time when I'm alone and there's time when I'm having great time. But I clearly remember it was the same when I was with my ex! My point is, let yourself feel what you feel and don't idealize relationships, you do might feel alone and sad while having a partner. Take care of yourself, of your mental state and physical also. Be grateful for you friends and family who are there to help you. Don't judge yourself harshly, and remember life is not so easy and predictable as we would like to. Sometimes you just need to go with the flow and do best you can in the state you're in.

Be open instead of be dating that’s a great one! ❤

Oh Matthew. So wonderfully spoken. Happy New Year 2023 to you 🙏🙏

It is clearly a difficult and a bit psykotic dating environment to day. But I am more worried about having sex in relationship that is like going to work and not at all fun. Happening because I will seak more normal women. Do you have advice how it is possible to connect good sex and more healthy romantic partneres. I can clearly say that I only have had good sex in my life with intens and disturbed womens with very bad moral compas.. How can I work efficiently with this sex problem?

Great listening to you guys. It helps me to keep going and looking at things from a higher perspective and moving along to next new experience.

I prefer start all over again than staying stuck in something and someone that doesn’t want the same.

Starting Roars trips for women

As am ready to join the dating world again I really needed to hear this 😍

What’s did that quote say? The race.,,,????

I had to end a relationship after she decided to focus only on my issues and not her own. Everything became like a quest to point out my shortcomings. How pathetic it is when a person lacks humility and the ability to examine and confront themselves. She made personal accusations instead of confronting herself that her words were both inappropriate and unkind. She wanted "to be accepted just the way I am" yet it was ok for her to want to & try to change me. I'm glad to start over instead of staying with miss perfectionism.

Omg the timing 💯😭🔥

Wow, needed to see this. I've just come out of a 15 year relationship with my fiancé who I was due to marry last year. I was 15 when I met him so still at school so I've never dated, been on dating sites, been on dates and stuff. I'm also moving out of our home to move in to a new area. I'm scared but I'm also excited for this new era. OH and I also turned 30 a few weeks ago...I'm literally obsessed with your content and its really helping. Thank you.

Love this! Thank you so much.

Thank you so much 💓 this content has helped relieve my pain from coming out of a long committed relationship to being open to find love again

My husband committed suicide 12 years ago. I dated way too fast and drank a lot and made very poor choices. 5 years after his death I stopped drinking and now a part of a recovery program and have really worked on myself and so ready to find someone to share life with but it just hasn’t happened for me. I am still raising teenage boys, 15 & 17. I met more people when I was a mess then I do now in a healthier mind set. I have tried online dating , friend of a friend, contractor working at my house (really disappointing he was sober and relapsed). I try but the heartbreak and disappointment make it so hard to continue to keep trying over and over again. 😞. BTW I am 52.

My problem is, I've never experienced something magical in life than love. Yes, I like many things, but nothing catches me. There's always a numb feeling that there's something missing. No matter whether I'm with my friends or doing something I like. I'm 43 and I don't have anymore hope, that it will change. It's never about anything else. It's like an empty hole.

Amazing

I came out of a 9 year relationship, just over a year ago now. It still hurts like crazy. I'm honestly broken and struggling to see the point in anything anymore. These videos however have been a big help in trying to move forward, to be excited about whats to come. Seeing others experiences in the comments have also made me feel I'm not alone. Being in my 30s now, single, no children, having to start again in a new house is painful though. Especially when comparing to others in my age group now. I hope I can get through this and start changing my mindset, to become more positive.

🙏❤️

was a good presentation

Ya I'm old now. Over 60 so I give up.

Jesus Christ died for our Sins According to the scriptures and that he was buried and that he rose again the third day praying for everyone everyday God bless you all 🙏

A teeny tiny bit of casual ageism there from Audrey 🫤 I divorced in my 50s and had, and still have loads of energy. I dated a lot 😉 and met someone lovely four years ago. We aren't all clapped out and washed up 🤣🤣