Healing After Narcissistic Abuse | 4 Tips 

Great metaphor-having literally resuscitated many in my profession, it resonates. My worries now more about the Zombie after effect - I finally call it then they being mortally “offended” choose to haunt and punish me to infinity and back … through possession of others if possible in order to continue wounding by proxy 😬

Amazing Analogy

Well said. Good analogy

Love this analogy. And it's the sunk cost fallacy. Sunk so much energy into it, can't admit that it's not worth it to leave

@@Jodeekowgirl So true. You're right, the longer it goes on, the deeper the investment. They know that leaving them will be the hardest thing we'll ever do, so they count on us never having the strength to do it.

Same here. Toxicity is normalized in a narcissistic family system. I didn’t know anything better. I made excuses for bad behavior.

Me too

Both my parents are narcissists. I feel your pain. Look at at this way my boy….WE FREEEEE💙

Same here, I am just finding the same things out and endured this all my life! Same repetitive cycle. I am now healing❤

Sadly your words are so so true, my darling!

I needed to hear that

Right? It’s not about forgiveness and reconciliation. It’s about moving in and letting go. Cut the cord.

You're not alone keep fighting!

Yes 🙌

I feel like that’s like saying that Jesus died in the cross not for us, but for Himself. He didn’t do it for himself. He cried tears of blood and almost couldn't do it. But he did it for us

and more. the 'red flags' of narcissism that they may best avoid these horrendously abusive predators. i had no idea they existed so close to me.

I think this all the time.

Glad you gained value and thank you for watching 😎

This has nothing to do with the perpetrator whatsoever this is all about you and you processing your wounded feelings, because if you make it any more than this, you've already crossed the line into vengeance, saying things like they don't deserve to be forgiven and so on and so forth. Ultimately when you think about it, the physical perpetrator has nothing to do with your inner life experience. Because in reality if somebody offended you, it really is you who is responding to the offense, that makes the difference of weather that action is considered an offense, and that is determined by your own conscience and heart volition and mind , within your soul. We are supposed to have a parent child relationship with our feelings, our consciousness, is the parent and our feelings are the child. we have a parent child relationship to our feelings emotions and issues, so that we must learn how to acknowledge and accept our wounded feelings , emotions, and issues. As a loving parent acknowledges and accepts their own wounded child. And as we do, our wounded feelings emotions and issues, become transformed into healing, as we place upon them, acknowledgement and acceptance and loving-kindness necessary, for feelings emotions and issues to transform. For example: if your physical child, was wounded and hurting , and you placed upon him or her, acknowledgement and acceptance with loving kindness and gave him or her space To be. How do you think your child would respond to you? Well in my assessment your child would give you back more acceptance and loving-kindness more than what you, could well imagine! This process is much like a caterpillar who represents our woundedness transforming into a butterfly representing our healing! Now our wounded feelings , emotions and issues, that we all tend to suppress because they are inconvenient and uncomfortable and thus those feelings emotions and issues remain with us perverting our past, and plaguing our present and our future. Because we don't know that we need to allow these negative and wounded feelings and emotions etc. To be processed by being acknowledged and accepted. Thus completely restoring from "glory to glory", the psychological heart of the NARC VICTIM. And if you practice this method, you would find a sense of personal acceptance, that you have never known in your life, As you place value acknowledgement and acceptance primarily to your wounded feelings and emotions etc. Then your feelings pay you back, with the very same feeling of acknowledgement and acceptance that you get to carry along with you all day long, along with the value and loving kindness, that you also place upon them. It is the best investment in yourself you can ever make. For as you learn how to make your feelings emotions your top priority so will your feelings and emotion make you their top priority! For as you value and accept yourself you value and accept others! SIDENOTE: The pathological narcissist does not have the capability, (unless he or she hits rock bottom) for change. But those with only narcissistic traits, can and will if given the opportunity and taken out of their narcissistic influenced environment can, revert back to their status quo, empathetic personality type, Which was true in my own case, I am proof that this method works and is life-changing! Please feel free to comment!

Has taking walks helped you heal at all? I'm thinking of trying it.

Absolutely 🙏🏽💯🙏🏽💯

@@sarahthompson7037 forest walks and barefoot when you can really bump up the benefits! exchanging electrons

Take up a new hobby or pastime as well. Have something new that they had NOTHING to do with, no reminders or room for rumination! I'm learning paragliding.

Hey, just thought i'd let you know, you are more normal than the narc will ever hope to be. Sending you warm wishes in your recovery. Dont give up.

LOTR is classic literature! It's usually required reading as well. Being well read is a sign of intelligence, so I would take it as he's an idiot.😅 I accused my NPD of only being capable of liking "My little pony."🐎 I know how you feel.

It's worse when you're told by the narcissist/psycho that you never loved (when you actually did)

First paragraph of what you said hit home. It is heartbreaking when the realisation sets in that all the vulnerabilities and your deepest fears that you shared with a person end up being used against you further down the line I have been through that as well / the betrayal that one feels is hard to put into words. But I applaud you for coming out on the other end Narcissistic relationships have the capacity to ruin us; if you grew up w a narcissistic parent as I did, it ends up clouding any and all further relationships / and if we then encounter a narcissist in our adult life, we attract them (or they us) like a moth to a flame. But we all have the capacity and ability to come out on the other end and it seems that you did just that.

GREAT INSIGHT

What is the difference between pardoning and forgiving?

oooooh i like that ! it has undertones of authority too which is great for the victim

I like the phrase "pardon" much better. Thanks.

This has nothing to do with the perpetrator whatsoever this is all about you and you processing your wounded feelings, because if you make it any more than this, you've already crossed the line into vengeance, saying things like they don't deserve to be forgiven and so on and so forth. Ultimately when you think about it, the physical perpetrator has nothing to do with your inner life experience. Because in reality if somebody offended you, it really is you who is responding to the offense, that makes the difference of weather that action is considered an offense, and that is determined by your own conscience and heart volition and mind , within your soul. We are supposed to have a parent child relationship with our feelings, our consciousness, is the parent and our feelings are the child. we have a parent child relationship to our feelings emotions and issues, so that we must learn how to acknowledge and accept our wounded feelings , emotions, and issues. As a loving parent acknowledges and accepts their own wounded child. And as we do, our wounded feelings emotions and issues, become transformed into healing, as we place upon them, acknowledgement and acceptance and loving-kindness necessary, for feelings emotions and issues to transform. For example: if your physical child, was wounded and hurting , and you placed upon him or her, acknowledgement and acceptance with loving kindness and gave him or her space To be. How do you think your child would respond to you? Well in my assessment your child would give you back more acceptance and loving-kindness more than what you, could well imagine! This process is much like a caterpillar who represents our woundedness transforming into a butterfly representing our healing! Now our wounded feelings , emotions and issues, that we all tend to suppress because they are inconvenient and uncomfortable and thus those feelings emotions and issues remain with us perverting our past, and plaguing our present and our future. Because we don't know that we need to allow these negative and wounded feelings and emotions etc. To be processed by being acknowledged and accepted. Thus completely restoring from "glory to glory", the psychological heart of the NARC VICTIM. And if you practice this method, you would find a sense of personal acceptance, that you have never known in your life, As you place value acknowledgement and acceptance primarily to your wounded feelings and emotions etc. Then your feelings pay you back, with the very same feeling of acknowledgement and acceptance that you get to carry along with you all day long, along with the value and loving kindness, that you also place upon them. It is the best investment in yourself you can ever make. For as you learn how to make your feelings emotions your top priority so will your feelings and emotion make you their top priority! For as you value and accept yourself you value and accept others! SIDENOTE: The pathological narcissist does not have the capability, (unless he or she hits rock bottom) for change. But those with only narcissistic traits, can and will if given the opportunity and taken out of their narcissistic influenced environment can, revert back to their status quo, empathetic personality type, Which was true in my own case, I am proof that this method works and is life-changing! Please feel free to comment!

It is but I have strong church support. God 1st.

Bingo 🎉

Kristen that resonates with me. I always looked for the good in people, and focusing on that too much was one of the reasons I remained in abusive and narcissistic relationships. I know now it is important to see everything and not keep just shining a spotlight on their goos traits. Especially when they are a means to ensnare you.

💓💓💓

Thinking of you 🌺🌺🌺

Demi, you’re words resonate strongly with me. I was there exactly where you are. And yes it is brutal. Like they’ve took your very spirit away. Making you feel as weak as a kitten. Hang in there. Your spirit is still there and you will grow stronger. One day you will see it was them who never existed. You don’t need anything from them-certainly not their validation. One day you will see them for the pathetic useless parasite they are , and you will regain your spirit and your strength. In fact you will be stronger. You are not alone. Good luck Demi x

Meditate.... You will let go. Trust and believe in yourself.

Sending you lots of love & healing energy. This happened to me, it’s been a lifetime of work , since my childhood was riddled with so many different types of abuse. Stay strong, in the most gentle way.

After pride comes the fall

MINE TOO. So fkn disturbing.. she can work with people all day (although, in retrospect, I really doubt much of what she told me - probably just using it as narcissistic supply endlessly yuk)! When we were dating, having met on a site called "Spiritual Singles" (irony from hell - a Cluster B is literally the OPPOSITE of anything related to spirituality and growth! I mean the beginning of all spiritual work is to admit where you are, who you are, how you got there, who you hurt etc. e.g. Self-assessment and Making Amends) and she even used it as a tool to get my defenses down/rescuer mode going (not that I have much of one, eg non-codependent but I am a male and feel the protector role with my family and people) about how this other guy she met ran for the hills when she told him she was in therapy for BPD - I immediately thought (as intended) "what a jerk!" How could you judge some one when you don't even know them etc. - at that point I still thought it was something like bipolar, or mild schizoid tendencies or whatever. Which, I am mainly ok with - if some one is doing the work on themselves, I believe in second chances etc. But apparently this guy's ex-wife was Borderline too, so obvs he was terrified/pre-no-contact and not going to go ANYWHERE NEAR another one of those.. no matter the particular flavor. Oh, the wisdom of hindsight! Now I know why. But she used it all as a sympathy play - and can talk about psychological and even spiritual matters all day, but some how - none of it applies to her or her life, or her responses, or abuse etc. The no internal locus of authority is really big with her - she will insist on going to people in professions which she studied (has 2 master's degrees) who have less knowledge than her, and go with what they say - even if she knows it to not be accurate, or best current information and theory. Really, really mind blowing. Also, she lied and forged all her supervised hours, which I didn't think much of at the time - she had just graduated, so I thought it was cool she was starting her own practice. Now, I understand a lot more - and can guess and fill in the blanks of those things I don't have direct knowledge of. She goes into an absolute rage when called on any of her shit, ever. Nothing a PD hates more than the incontrovertible truth!

He's a Psycho therapist, aye? haha

Thanks for your honesty. My two past friends are psychologists and one is a manipulator and narcissist and the other is a case for a psychatrist. I've left both friendships and it was hard. They're so egoistic- it's crazy that they go into psychology sessions and try to heal others.😅

@@jchula My GF and I hired a shrink for online couple's counseling a few years ago. Told the guy that I won't be having the covid vaccines, because I felt they were not at all what we were being told that they were for and apparently he strongly disagreed with me on that. So, he said I have a "need to be right" (which I do not at all have). About a year and a half later I found the same guy posting videos of himself complaining about being "duped by big pharma" regarding the efficacy of the vaccines. lol Interesting how a Narcy will try to project their own issues onto others like that.

I just saw this and thought I would share what I did when I found myself in need of professional help I couldn't trust or begin to afford. I just got a job at a mental hospital as a mental health specialist and studied anything I could to learn what I was going through and how to not let it get me. Just a thought. I put the energy into helping people and it helped me also.

Good

I've not - tried many times, but we share a child now and she has continued to try to do maximum damage to my life and relationships (with a lot of success, unfortunately) plus just her incessant idiocy and contempt always lurking at the edge, plus trying to make sure my daughter is safe from the abuse which is very subtle with her, much of the time - verbal and emotional.

Good like your logo😉

The whole damn town? What did you sleep around with the whole town or something lol. It might not be the town thats toxic my dear 🤔

@@beatdown3361 yikes.

Karen. I thought the same thing. Yikes!!!

I know exactly what you mean. 🎯 🥰

@@beatdown3361Stop projecting, ya dirty hoo-or 😂🤡

🎉🎉🎉🎉❤❤❤we the special big hearted one forgive and heal you first 🙏🏽💯🙏🏽💯💜💜💡

it's a definite blessing - he's a life saver for REAL!

Its sad for sure. My mum became mean and so did I. Im lucky bcoz i got a chance to turn it around. 2 yrs ago i got on my knees and asked my children to forgive me. They did, the damage was done tho, so i work hard at accountability and creating a loving home. My mother was normal, then she turned. I was normal, then i turned. But i turned back bych and we're breaking generational chains out here! ✨✨✨

@@lisas1625 nice to hear I’m breaking generational curses as well. Best to us

He showed he don’t care I’m showing I don’t care anymore & it’s making him sick but still have his poker face on..But he’s soo mad that I’m not bothered and ignoring him

You're welcome!