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The grandmas texting each other is really sweet though :)

For "the chosen one," try The Restorer by Sharon Hink. The lead is an American soccer mom struggling with depression who suddenly ends up in another world where she develops super powers and is expected to save a country.

Yeah to a 400 year old vampire teenagers gotta seem like toddlers. And having to change classes on time . . . . . FORGET having to ask permission to go to the bathroom at the age of 60 never mind 400.

Mentioning school papers, I had a professor in college that said “write a 10 page paper on this book” and you knew he didn’t read them because I literally fluffed after the first 3 pages by literally repeating the same thing over a time and a half 🤣 and still got an A on the paper.

I completely lost it over the description of the giraffe

The buttered toast one has me laughing. I was sick with the flu a few weeks ago and still starving but afraid to eat 'normal' food. I toasted and buttered boring white bread and I was like 'Wow this shit is fabulous! How have I gone so long without eating it?!' Then I ran out of bread the next day and had white bread, margarine, rice and 7Up delivered to my house. The lady delivering it smiled and said 'Stomach flu, huh?' I gave her a huge tip. BREAD!

The bit at

Well, with "the chosen one", old me who is exhausted after work and therefore wants to become one with my couch isn't gonna walk 200miles by foot to go climbing on a mountain or say let's go face death 7 times today.

Why must a fridge ping your phone to say it's still open? Mine just starts beeping like a world war three siren, still gets the point across

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It's when you've hit unsubscribe every day and they keep sending you an ad e-mail every day. Yeah, I'm talking to you Kohl's.

University Chemistry finals: The ONE Student who we were ALL certain was first class honours material (especially Chemistry!) had a nervous breakdown right at the start of the exam, and was carted off by the local Ambulance Service. You could have heard a pin drop after that incident (and the paper wasn't that bad after all!)

many "the chosen one" stories are not really about the adventure. It's a coming of age story. You can't really have that with someone who has already found themselves.

I agree with "the chosen one" bit, how someone who is always saying "like, totally" and taking selfies pouting would save the world is a stupid premise for a movie, my favorite chosen one is Neo, always

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The 400 year old vampire totally should get back to school considering that he can't even spell 'enroll.'

Yes! Bread is God until you've had enough and you never want to see it again! 😂

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