I always felt he didn't care at all. He would go no contact for a week like I never existed and yet I would still reach out and ask " how are you " and it's draining to be ignored . I've given him grace and just learned he's really anxious 😟 about a lot and I deserve someone emotionally available that can communicate with me vs just ignore me and only text when he wants to ask for sex
Thank you for sharing your experience. It does sound like an imbalance, and good for you for establishing your boundaries and choosing what is best for you.
@@Nika-je6zd I recently had him text me that " my ex is trying to wiggle her way back into my life ,so I'm dealing with that and not too chatty with you now" I actually said " GO FOR IT and I hope it works for you "
My ex told me he has lost feelings for me, about 4 months ago already. 4 months in which I desperately tried to repair things between us. He was so cold and mad in our last conversation. It was a 6 yr relationship, and all I had asked him for, was to stop lying to me. Obviously that was too much to ask. He wanted to stay friends and even hug me - which I refused because I was so badly hurt in that moment. I regret it now and more than once, I just wanted to reach out and talk to him. But I’m scared of his coldness. No contact for 2 and a half weeks now, and he hasn’t reached out at all. I even stopped seeing mutual friends. Haven’t eaten anything in more than a week because of that pain in my heart. I’m devastated, heartbroken and feel totally worthless.
I can feel your pain through your words typed and I too would feel very devastated 💔 these are Big feelings to go through . I pray your appetite returns and you are able to find peace through this rejection. Know your feelings are valid and you did your best 👌🏾 asking to stop lying wasn't a bad thing at all . I'm proud of you for sharing, that took courage ❤
I am proud of you for setting boundaries. It isn't personal to you that a compulsive liar cannot commit to being truthful. You deserve honesty and a balanced relationship. I get it though. I love someone deeply who has issues that are deal breakers.
Thank you for sharing your experience. It can be painful when a partner behaves in a confusing and hurtful way. However, the indication that there has been a history of lying in the relationship is a red flag. It sounds like you might be at a crossroads which is an opportunity to decide if this is truly what you want for yourself and, if it’s actually healthy for you. You might appreciate this video. 6 Warning Signs of A Toxic Relationship +6 Healthy Alternatives ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-Sd9mM6n3xOQ.html
You’re so strong , hold to the dignity, I feel you and it hurts. I want you to love you like you do him….. text him , on paper all the things you want to say it will help, you’re in my thoughts 💕
I feel you frfr. I tried and it seemed nothing was good enough for him. That worthless really hit home for me and I can feel your pain. I feel the exact same way.
I had the most meaningful relationship with an Avoidant(?). He hadn't been serious with anyone in 4 years. He said he wanted us to be permanent and that he appreciated my presence in his life. Detailed talks about who wants what in a partner. Then his bedridden mother whom he was primary caregiver to died. I was there for him like noone else was. And noone else was, at all. He was constantly grateful. Within 2 weeks, he took me for a drive and said we should be friends because he wants me around for sure. Since that night, he has been so consistent in calling and checking up on me, asking how everything in my life is going, if we can meet for dinner. I give minimal information and don't talk on the phone. Haven't spoken in a week. It hurts. I just don't get it.
Thank you for sharing your personal story. It sounds like you showed up in a very important way for this person, at a very important time. As a result, you made yourself very important to them. Which means romantic failure is too much of a risk. Friends are forever.
@@weaknessstrengthno you are so much important that he fear to losing you because he knows that romantic love ends. If you remains friend you will be in his life forever.
Circling back to this video after several months, I notice a trend among about half a dozen RU-vid channels that discuss attachment styles. When they speak about "intellectualism (which another channel describes as 'intellectual bypassing which is a better descriptor to me)" they often paint it as a bad thing to consider things like scholarly advice or anthropological evidence. My question is, isn't that what we're doing in analyzing attachment styles and figuring out how to communicate with them? I would argue that spending time trying to figure out their behavior and act accordingly would be a form of intellectual bypassing because you're taking those things into account before you respond to someone who is one of these attachment styles. That said, I'm not saying intellectual bypassing is a bad thing. In fact, I think we SHOULD do it more often lest we get caught up in our emotions and make HUGE mistakes. For example, I know that I require a prenuptial agreement before I enter into marriage. This is because I see the divorce rates in the US as well as the reported reasons for said divorces. So again, I'm not knocking intellectual bypassing, but the information being shared about attachment styles and how to navigate them can easily be argued as a form of intellectual bypassing.
OMG I am right there at the moment. Wanting to run from my 26 year marriage as most of the kids are grown and got in touch with my ex who I am convinced was the love of my life. Though at the time I cheated constantly and treated him awful and then just left. He's being polite but not really interested and it's driving me crazy even though I don't deserve him. He is married but told me he never found love again as he put up a shield. I can't see a future though with my husband and just want to run away, I have always put the kids first so that is why I am in this situation. I have let him know I am avoidant which he says explains a lot!
Thank you for the video 📹 i do believe he has a phatom ex he cant get over .he told me he had a flawless FWB relationship that gave him sex until she fell in love 🥰 with a man ( while still dating him ) & they moved into gether and he hasn't found anyone that will give him that same type of relationship, so he just runs through women with ( no strings ) .he doesnt do " labels". That was a red flag,for me .i will not compare to any phantom. Sadly I had relationship with him 2 months in and he didn't confess this until afterwards when I tried to come over to his place a week later
Thank you for sharing your experience. It sounds like you found out early on that this person is not a good match for you. Bravo for knowing what you want and for establishing your boundaries around that.👏
Believe me he was no different with the ex. Phantom exes are potentially bad relationships but Avoidants idolize them only because they're over. If he got her now, he'd do the same thing to her. It's him, not her or you.
I just started no contact after my breakup. I have anxious attachment , she is avoidant. I'm trying to focus on myself but it's good to know I'm not the only one who is going through the emotions. Any recommendations would be appreciated.
Thank you for watching and for sharing your experience. I think you might find this video helpful. No Contact with Avoidant Partners: What Your Ex Is Feeling Right Now ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-0U52-rwzbzM.html
We broke up 2 weeks ago this Friday. Since then we have spoken 3x, but I want to enter into no contact. Is it too late to start? Where I think I messed up, is the next morning he posted a picture from the night before where he appeared to on a date and I asked if he was seeing someone. He responded and I didn't say anything else beyond that point. My DA ex wants to be "friends" and was essentially asking to remain in my life, while looking tearful, so I'm a bit confused. We dated almost a year and had a generally pleasant relationship, with deep, meaningful talks that he wanted. He was becoming more vulnerable and expressed that he was surprised that it had gone beyond his usual limit.
She blocked me, oddly enough for 30 days, and unblocked me on Facebook. She hasn't reached out yet, it's day 59 today and I will NOT reach out to her. She's come back twice, and if you can stay away from your ex long enough as well I'm pretty certain you'll hear from him as well.
My advice: don't wait for him. Even if he will be back he will dump you again. I was going through this. She came back after 5 weeks of no contact, we got back together and after on year of PERFECT relationship she discarded me like a trash without any reason! Blaming me for everything using just her absurd and ridiculous reasons just to justify her decision. Theese people don't change. I am done. Do the same. You will save yourself lot of pain. Believe me
Thank you for watching and for commenting. You can check out the time stamps in the caption of the video. I introduced my solution, and Testimonials from Avoidant partners that saw successful results, around 07:43. Be sure to subscribe and ring the bell for notifications, when I release a video that will go over how to heal avoidant attachment in detail next week!