How Do I Make Friends as an Adult?

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2 окт 2023

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Комментарии : 192

@whatintheheck4692 9 месяцев назад

There are a lot of people who struggle with this, but she was brave enough to ask.

@kelliconlan8133 9 месяцев назад

Feeling in middle school all over again in your 40's is a great way to state these feelings you feel at this time in life.

@melissab3217 9 месяцев назад

I also feel like no one wants to make connections . Or even accept simple acts of kindness. Yesterday the donut shop at my university had a buy 1 get 1 free sale, and I turned to ask the people after me in line if anyone wanted my free one. They all just avoided eye contact or shrugged, and then the next guy in line bought a donut. I felt like a leper or something.

@ForAncientKingAndElvishLord 9 месяцев назад

I can totally understand your feeling. I'm 29 and I'm back to college to finish my degree. Last week I entered the classroom and said Hi to the few people that were sitting there, and they looked st me like I had two heads. It was fucking awkward. I can't even ask people to take pictures of their notes because I feel too old to talk to them 😭

@melissab3217 9 месяцев назад

@@ForAncientKingAndElvishLord for real! It's so awkward.

@nt3833 9 месяцев назад

@@ForAncientKingAndElvishLordthat is so sad. If the current generation has no social skills we are all in for a world of hurt.

@amylenoir345 Месяц назад

People are nuts

@catbravo994 9 месяцев назад

I just turned 50 and have two adult kids. All the friends I had are no longer in my life. I have tried to make friends and talk to people in the community but I can't seem to connect to anyone with more than a passing conversation. I gave up and didn't feel it was a huge issue until my husband had a heart attack and I had no girlfriends to come over and sit with me. I felt it then.

@saintejeannedarc9460 Месяц назад

Ah sweetie. That hit hard. I'm similar, sort of, but it's hard to make connections and I need more too.

@TheEquiss 9 месяцев назад

I gave up on people. I’m 55. I’ve realized if I’m not the one that constantly reaches out or if others can’t get something material out of me then they aren’t interested.

@07ikkin 3 месяца назад

I have felt the same way. It's always me setting things up. Even with my immediate family. Tired of it

@TheEquiss 2 месяца назад

@@07ikkinyep agree. I’ve given up. I purposely did not set up or organize anything for 3 months. No one seemed to notice. Then one person messaged me to ask if I was going to do one of the group activities cuz she wanted to do it. That’s the only reason she messaged me. I’m over it. I no longer keep contact with most people. I just do things that interest me now.

@amylenoir345 Месяц назад

Same😭😭

@girlwithnotalent8214 27 дней назад

I’m 32, the same way here

@KrisG66 9 месяцев назад

I've lived in Colorado Springs for 5 years and at 57 years old and have made no REAL friends since I've been here. It is hard in your 40's and 50's when other women are still raising kids and have their core group set. I feel you!

@kimF499 8 месяцев назад

I agree. I'm in Colorado Springs as well, in my 30s though, and even while attempting to make other mom friends it is challenging. I have 1 child, and most women I meet have multiple, so different schedules to manage makes it challenging to actually build lasting friendships

@adri8901 2 месяца назад

@@kimF499I'm 36 and I'm in Denver. Want to be friends (seeing this show 6 months late)

@saintejeannedarc9460 Месяц назад

@@adri8901 I'll give this thread another bump and maybe these ladies will see it.

@LadyMarigoldWithers 9 месяцев назад

I’m 41f, single and have no friends in an area I moved to 5 years ago with my parents. Lots of people I say hi to when I’m walking my dogs but that’s it. I’ve tried to reach out and either been looked at weirdly (why is this stranger talking to me for longer than pleasantries?) or I’m kept at arm’s length from a group that if I’m being honest don’t share my values but are the only circle I’ve met. It’s kind of exhausting and sad doing absolutely everything alone. I’m trying to reach out on different Facebook groups with offers to hang out to women who’ve said they want the same but no luck so far. A couple of decent friendships would be so lovely to have.

@07ikkin 3 месяца назад

Definitely exhausting doing everything alone. I went skating alone today. Wasn't fun watching everyone else holding hands skating and with friends dancing and skating

@LadyMarigoldWithers 2 месяца назад

@@07ikkin no, sometimes you feel very isolated and it isn’t a good feeling. I have recently joined a really nice women’s group in my area and have been going out regularly which has been fun but no solid connections formed just yet as obvs that takes a while. I’m in no rush as am used to being on my own so going out once a week or fortnight is suiting me nicely atm but it’s going in the right direction now ☺️. I hope you can find something similar!

@jello4323 9 месяцев назад

This is such a relevant topic in todays society I struggle with this a lot and I’m 22. A lot of people I know struggle with this too thank you for speaking on it. Sometimes it feels like I’m the only one

@AAB-mo2ur 9 месяцев назад

It’s very sad to see these kinds of things happening around the Greatest Country in the world. I see poor countries and their communities are very happy and striving. I think we need to evaluate how things are going.

@AAB-mo2ur 9 месяцев назад

Anyway I’m here to help with anything you need if I’m able to. Just trying to do my part.

@jello4323 9 месяцев назад

@@AAB-mo2ur you do make a great point I’m Canadian but I see people of different cultures have groups of friends and they laugh and talk and I sometimes envy it I don’t know what’s going on in North America where so many of us struggle to make a single friend and feel incredibly lonely. Thank you btw I appreciate it

@jistelle3797 9 месяцев назад

Same. entered college in 2020 when everything was online and zero opportunities to socialize and meet people. Fast forward and I haven’t made a single university friend and I’m in my last year now. A lot of things, esp the pandemic, contributed to this lonely phenomenon

@rebeccaoprea9917 9 месяцев назад

My friend and I were just talking about this. We’re 40+. We realized it was easy to make friends when our kids were young cause they were sort of a buffer, rather a teddy bear. Now we have to put ourselves out there.

@laneyluneva 9 месяцев назад

I'm in my 30's, I have connected with those in their 40s, 50s and 60s through work and we have remained friends as we all moved on to different jobs. Age and focusing on age as to why or why you aren't making friends isn't always the issue. Sure you might not enjoy the same cultural references, but that doesn't have to define a friendship.

@Kristen-ek9rz 9 месяцев назад

Yes! I'm 52 and my best friend is 78!

@SirenaSpades 9 месяцев назад

This sounds like Facebook. That's not 'friends'.

@jahineverybody 9 месяцев назад

I feel like John is a little out of reality when it comes to this topic. He mentioned it once or twice, (16:20) but so briefly. Life is expensive, we work a lot, and don’t always have time to “join this group, and that group, and just keep inviting people over for cookouts”.. I end up staying busy all day, and into the evenings, and really only do fun social activity’s for a few hours, every other weekend or so. I think my lifestyle is pretty normal these days, and that’s the main reason why we’re in the friendship crisis right now. I heard it takes 80 hours to build a friendship. Most of us don’t have the time these days…. I liked this caller. I’m 43, and in the mtns of Colorado too.

@KarlDag 9 месяцев назад

You missed the point. He said, and knows, people don't have that much time. What he says is, if you don't make the time, you won't make the friends.

@nt3833 9 месяцев назад

@jahineverybody we choose what we are busy with. If you literally don’t have time for friendships then you should probably reevaluate how and what you’re spending your time on. That’s my thought. If you don’t have time because you’re busy raising your family I can understand that. But you didn’t mention that. 🤷🏻‍♀️

@ivankrushensky 15 дней назад

@@nt3833 Bingo. If you're that busy that you can't spend any time with anyone, you really can't complain that you have no close friends. How are people ever supposed to spend time with you if you don't have any spare time anyways? You are right- people choose what they are busy with. If you choose to be busy with things that don't involve anyone else, that's a personal choice. My take is- most of these people complaining about lack of friendships is really more a lack of hobbies. They got so busy raising babies (which is fine, we've all been there) and didn't make time to keep in touch with people- so those people moved on. Now that their kids are older and they have more free time, they don't know what to do or where to start to get in touch with people. I'd suggest finding some hobbies- and if you're decent to people, you will make friends no problem.

@nt3833 9 месяцев назад

Every time John asks a caller if they have 2 or 3 girlfriends they can call up to [fill in the blank] I think to myself “no”. I have acquaintances that I could maybe make lunch dates with if I wanted to. But I don’t do that. I feel like they all have their own friends already. Even if we did meet up for lunch or a play date of some sort I feel like we would never move to a deeper friendship.

@lorrainebettencourt8009 Месяц назад

❤

@sloppyjonuts9162 4 дня назад

That’s all it really is is acquaintances

@rosx3245 9 месяцев назад

I am 30 with two young children and my best friend is a 50 year old with an adult child. I always gain so much knowledge and love from our conversations i am so glad i didnt say no to our friendship

@SirenaSpades 9 месяцев назад

I'm not sure why you are bringing up the age difference with your friend as though it's a thing, and then saying it's not a thing. At least you have a friend.

@nt3833 9 месяцев назад

@@SirenaSpades you tend to have more things in common with someone close to your own age. And when you have kids you tend to find friends with kids the same age. It makes sense to me!

@karenschulz6733 День назад

Definitely! Friends don’t have to fit into other people’s boxes!

@Hamyhamster24 9 месяцев назад

As an introvert who’s scared to make new friends, your best option is to have one extroverted friend and they’ll do the rest. Ever since being with my husband, I’ve gained like 30 friends without pulling a muscle and a lot of times against my own will. Go get urself an extroverted partner/friend y’all

@noodledoo1234 9 месяцев назад

As a 31 year old I value my friends that are different ages so highly... the 23-25 year olds keep my spirit young and my late 30s-40s friends give me wisdom and solid big sister energy. I need both so so much.

@SirenaSpades 9 месяцев назад

Good for you, but at this point I can't be choosy. Any friend is good, because I'm completely isolated.

@rparrott62 8 месяцев назад

That’s a good way to say it-I feel the same about my younger/older friends. I feel like I can relate well to my younger friends, but my big sister friends are the best 💯

@uscitizen3252 9 месяцев назад

I think a lot of the times, people feel weird asking new people to hang out. You have to get over that. If you meet someone that you like and want to meet again, exchange socials or numbers and let them know you'd like to grab a coffee; something low stakes. The hard part is that people lack consistency. They'll do it once and forget that it takes repetition at the beginning. Make a plan to hang out with that person 1-2 times a month if there's a connection. Keep your expectations low and don't put all of your eggs in one basket. As a 36 year old in LA, I have friends for different things. I have movie friends, beach/activity friends, writing friends, etc. I don't depend on one person as we're all spread thin. Some friendships will be deeper than others and that's okay. If you only want "deep" friendships--it'll be harder to make those. Every relationship doesn't have to be "deep." Some are just fun hangs. I have friends that know me in and out while others know me more on a surface level. Don't discount those relationships.

@thecramptons 9 месяцев назад

Perfect explanation

@uscitizen3252 9 месяцев назад

@@thecramptons thank you!

@schokococoa575 9 месяцев назад

Yup and often times, the people who you don’t know that deeply can offer the best advice and help when needed and vice versa.

@uscitizen3252 9 месяцев назад

@@schokococoa575 agreed. A less biased POV since you don' know them that well.

@BassBwoy3 9 месяцев назад

I'm nearly in my mid-30s and have been struggling with this too. I work remotely, so haven't even met people on my work team and that's not likely gonna change. Just moved to a new city, started going to a new church and have been doing a bunch of meetups lately, so I hope this changes.

@ihateallyall 9 месяцев назад

I am 23, and have a hard time finding people that are even like me. maybe it’s my area? I just feel so.. alien compared to everyone else. it’s hard finding other people like that.

@karenschulz6733 День назад

So many people feel like aliens! You are not alone! Keep seeking answers that are right for you, don’t be afraid to find a professional to help you navigate this cold confusing world 🙏🙌

@ryand7713 9 месяцев назад

You have to be a friend. And even with that, it's quite difficult.

@jennifershray4962 9 месяцев назад

I feel her 100%. My husband and I are older mid-forties/fifties with a 8 year old. Yes, it is so hard to make connects with your kids friends' parent, when they are 10-15 younger. People my age have kids who are in college and you are just in a different phase of life. It's hard to relate.

@ludwigvonsowell5347 8 месяцев назад

Put it this way, you get to be “the cool mom” at an age appropriate level. You get to speak freely to full blown adults that you can’t be with your kids, it would be inappropriate to have drinks and watch trash tv with your 8 year old for at least another decade. Or tell your more risqué stories with them. Or talk to about spousal struggles (even little things I’m sure every spouse has). But with 30 year old’s it’s totally normal.

@SoulfulVeg 9 месяцев назад

I lost my best friend 6 years ago, and I still have her number on my favorites list on my phone. And my best living friend has stage 4 cancer. This is the tough part of getting older. This lady sounds super cool, and I would be her friend in a minute. I hope she finds her tribe.

@JozelleRenia 9 месяцев назад

😢 broke my heart

@sidneybristow815 9 месяцев назад

Seems like everyone wants good loyal friends, but no one knows how. Politics have divided so many people and media lies perpetuate hatred and make it emotional. I hate having to be guarded or defend myself against crazy people.

@Yolduranduran 9 месяцев назад

I am a recently retired 55 y/o who needs friends. My socialization took place at work. I joined a woman's group and an exercise group so that I socialize through them. They are older but I'm OK with that. ❤❤ 5:06

@jimv77 9 месяцев назад

As a 46 year old guy now married, never had a close friend. There was folks at school and work that I would associate with, but we wouldn't hang out outside of school and work. And I thought it was me not being normal or friend worthy. I find them in Facebook but it's been 20+ years since I said "Hi". I always wish I had 2-3 folks who I could treat as a close friend.

@actuallyterry 9 месяцев назад

I'm 41 and in the same boat.

@SirenaSpades 9 месяцев назад

I avoid Facebook as I find it to be a waste of time and it's false relationships anyway, but if you are single and work at home, you are in complete isolation.

@nt3833 9 месяцев назад

I definitely relate to this.

@heatherbrenner8275 9 месяцев назад

I'm glad I'm not the only one who goes to a concert and stands by themselves lol. I've been trying to make new friends and it's not easy as an adult. The best thing I've found is a hobby. For me it's kayaking and hiking. Those things have got me into places where other people who like that stuff are too. But it's hard when everyone has such busy lives that just meeting up requires an appointment.

@anthonys5568 2 месяца назад

I"m in the same situation. I have dozens of casual buddies and acquaintances, but few to call if I had an emergency at 2am.

@amylenoir345 Месяц назад

Same

@lusciouslivingtoday 9 месяцев назад

Glad I came across this topic for sure. I'm 46 almost 47 and I have almost 7 year old twins. I'm a single mom, and I'm an introvert. I have taken my kids to classmates of theirs birthday parties. And I feel so uncomfortable and awkward. I've had to force myself to try to get over being an introvert. But it just doesn't go well like I just can't seem to make friends with any of the other parents. Because I am one of the oldest parents so it's really uncomfortable.

@noodledoo1234 9 месяцев назад

Be proud to be able to show them how much they have to look forward to at your age! And hold your head high knowing you have such valuable wisdom that they will deeply appreciate

@hannahvivi7042 9 месяцев назад

I know it feels uncomfortable, but think of it as setting an example for your twins. It does wonders for them to see their mom being confident (even if you have to take it) interacting with others in social settings. Trust me, I'm an introvert and I tend to just to stick to people I already know but I've had to learn to get out of my comfort zone for my kids.

@jimv77 9 месяцев назад

I am the same age with two older teens. As an introvert I see how both my teens are constantly busy outside of school hanging out with friends. Son has his gym friends and daughter has her club friends. However, they are so busy and away from home, go-Go-GO....I also cherish my alone time at home....for 2 hours....then the wife says we need to go somewhere to kill the boredom.....hahaha.

@nt3833 9 месяцев назад

@lusciouslylivingtoday it’s crazy I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum. The first time around I was a young mom. Now I’m starting over as an older mom. It makes me a little sad to feel like I won’t fit in with other moms.

@semosancus5506 9 месяцев назад

Smile... bring donuts... remember their names and one thing about them. Then ask a question with that knowledge and let them talk.

@ithinkigottalent4047 9 месяцев назад

There's platonic friend apps out there. I joined one years ago and we still keep in touch with each other 😊

@thecramptons 9 месяцев назад

Which one (Platonic)?

@hoops8534 9 месяцев назад

I think we can thank the internet for our loneliness and disconnection. I listen to Dr D have real conversations with people and that some what satisfies my lack of connection with others. A bit sad, but true!

@karenschulz6733 День назад

I think it’s all about your state of mind: are you lonely, or are you enjoying the luxury of quiet solitude where you can do just as you wish? Your time is your own to be who you are, and learn who that is… it’s peaceful. Fulfilling. I’m a serious introvert and my hobbies are walking, reading, movies, writing, petting my pooch, spirituality seeking… people kind of can’t compete with all that. I feel for people who need other people more than I do; I hope you make the connections that will nurture you. Yes, I get lonely sometimes: when I forget that I’m doing exactly what I’ve chosen for myself. Just a little connection is JUST right! Meetup groups are nice for that. It’s genius really :) thankful for whoever thought that one up!

@katavidhikerwoman 9 месяцев назад

WOW! Great Question!

@k.mcdonald1960 29 дней назад

She has the most soothing voice. I could listen to her all day.

@Itsme-ig9iz 9 месяцев назад

Great question, I can relate

@S42069 Месяц назад

Find your passion, and go to events that support that passion. I struggled with this for many years, especially moving to a new city. I then built a car and started going to car shows and events. I now have a solid group of friends and I owe it all to the car.

@bepositive4494 9 месяцев назад

Harder to make friends now since certain members of society INSIst on putting us all into SEPARATE categories. Those same people have mental illness DEPRESSION really bad and get offended and rage a the drop of a hat.

@stevieray7203 9 месяцев назад

Oh Julie, I feel for you 💛🙏🏻! I lost one of my best friends in Jan 2020 and I’m still missing her! I’m also struggling with middle age loss and trying to make friends! Sending hugs🤗

@creditczar6979 9 месяцев назад

Try being a divorced single guy over 60. Really difficult to make new friends!

@SirenaSpades 9 месяцев назад

Divorced single woman who works at home.

@breeeque 9 месяцев назад

Yup. I feel that

@Kristen-ek9rz 9 месяцев назад

I appreciate this video! I had a lot of friends in my teenage years and early twenties.....I thought that it was supposed to be that way as I grew older, however, life changes for all of us. As a 52-year-old, I am grateful for my husband, mother, aunt, brother, 2 children, and a couple of friends that I see here and there......I've learned that having expectations for things to be a certain way causes pain.

@semosancus5506 9 месяцев назад

Good point. I've dropped all expectations and come to realize that everything in life is speculative. I do my best to achieve the desired outcomes but sometimes it just isn't in the cards.

@feliciaortega8062 9 месяцев назад

I can relate in so many ways

@nt3833 9 месяцев назад

I relate so much. I have a handful of so called “friends,” but really they are just acquaintances. If we see each other at functions or in daily life we will have a conversation, but that’s it. No one that I actually get together with or can talk to. But I also feel like I am picky about friendships. I always come up with some excuse of how we are different. I’m also very much an introvert. I have no problem staying at home 99% of the time.

@pjpaavam007 2 месяца назад

The lack of community in U.S is saddening. Before it was church that brought community together but now we don't go do that anymore. I don't see my neighbors in suburban neighborhood. We all pull our cars in our garage and close it behind us.

@zo_471 9 месяцев назад

I struggle with this, I feel like I don’t have a “best” friend and like a handful of friends through work, some of who I see very occasionally outside of work

@thecramptons 9 месяцев назад

Don’t over do it at this school stuff. I was PTO PRESIDENT and started not knowing any one. Just ease in. Don’t be so aggressive. Just show up at volunteer events and slowly get to know people over time. Don’t start offering out business cards. It’s off putting People already have their groups. … just ease in bc you will be seeing these people all the time

@kelsea16 9 месяцев назад

I’m 42, but this is something I have struggled with my entire life. To the point that I have actually wondered if I have ASD. I just cannot seem to connect with people the same way others can, and form friendships with others. At the same time though, I kind of like not having the busyness of a lot of friendships. I have a husband and 3 VERY active kids to keep track of, and work full time. I just wish I had closer connections with people. Like what Dr. D said, when I’m gone, I want people to say that I maybe made a positive mark on their lives. My fear is, is that no one other than my family, will say that. My 40th birthday was quiet, because there was no one to invite to have a big party, like every other person on social media does. It’s lonely for sure.

@Kristen-ek9rz 9 месяцев назад

The milestone party is BS....some, have that, but most have quiet parties, and some have none.....you're busy being you and taking care of a family and working...that's a lot!!

@megalou6567 8 месяцев назад

Same here . I am 44 and just the last few years , for many reasons , I have wondered if I have ASD. I cannot connect or relate to anyone it seems . I am past the intense loneliness of being lonely . I quite enjoy being alone now . I think I have given up and just accepted that I will forever be alone . Most days I’m ok with that

@trey1208 9 месяцев назад

Didn’t have much friends so I went to a sand Vollyball warehouse for 6 straight months before anyone talked to me. 6 straight months of going and leaving feeling pretty alone. Then talked to one person, then inevitably the friends multiplied

@garfieldGG 9 месяцев назад

Hell I’m 30 and it’s hard. It was really rough right out of college. To make friends past then takes serious effort. And it’s effort that it feels like no one wants to put in, but since I did actually make a new really good friend at 28, I donknow it’s possible and worth it.

@user-xk6ed6so2z 8 месяцев назад

JULIE!!!!! I am you in VA. I am 10 years older than the parents in my kid's class. It is so hard! I have some friends that we have kept despite all of us moving around....but connecting locally is brutal.

@1restingwitchface 4 месяца назад

Making new friends as an adult is a challenge. A colleague wanted to leave her new employment because of this (she moved 150 miles away). I am lucky enough to have the same circle of close friends for decades and some at work. I am comfortable and enjoy spending time alone a lot of time. Just cannot imagine having to make new friends (not just acquaintances) at this age.

@justusbryce3392 9 месяцев назад

I’m 36 and have exactly one friend from when I was a kid. Life changes and our circle changes too.

@ForAncientKingAndElvishLord 9 месяцев назад

At least you have one 😭

@justusbryce3392 9 месяцев назад

@@ForAncientKingAndElvishLord my point is that you should make more as your life changes

@ForAncientKingAndElvishLord 9 месяцев назад

@@justusbryce3392 I can't :(

@user-tv3dg8yg3h 9 месяцев назад

I am middle aged and can relate. But I did make one close friend by joining a hobby group.

@anata.g.4966 3 месяца назад

Wow Julie you sound so much fun! We are the same age an I have a 7 yo daughter as well and I relate to your feelings 100% No doubt we could be friends ❤ The only thing is that ocean between our continents 😂 Thank you for your question. Made me feel less alone.

@reginaldphillips7615 9 месяцев назад

Keep trying. That’s all you can do.

@biba350 9 месяцев назад

Struggling with this myself

@loriurias110 Месяц назад

Sometimes other people feel awkward too, specially if they did not call back and overtime it just gets more awkward. Keep on trying and trying and keep your chin up...

@sarabonniya3931 9 месяцев назад

martial art senters is a great place too find frends, be in diffrents senters!! :) I only went to do it to get frends and I did!

@alluringbliss4165 9 месяцев назад

Ive decided to find events on meet up to attend not to make friends but to socialize again. I ve been a hermit for too long.

@x-mess 9 месяцев назад

That’s smart… it takes the pressure off.. it will eventually happen

@bellamichelle6248 9 месяцев назад

I’ll be anyone’s friend. It’s so hard. Most married women don’t want to be my friend. 😂 I’m going to get my tire changed in a few. 14:23

@DramaScenes1 9 месяцев назад

Hey, by chance would you like to be friends? Im actually 24 and from the Caribbean and just thought it would be cool to get to know someone else from another culture, to get another perspective on things and just to vibe out.

@SirenaSpades 9 месяцев назад

This is all of us now. Isolated. Edit: I don't know if she is married and has kids, but a lot of the commenters do. I'm single and do not have kids. I work at home. I have zero interaction with humans. It is TERRIBLE. My life was not like this 10 years ago, I had a vibrant life. I do not like it at all. I have tried to fix this situation. I have talked to neighbors, I joined a bookclub (the ladies are very unpleasant but I try). I took an art class. In the past I have taken a slew of other activities, these activities do not lead to friendships. My experience with karate was no talking, being in the very back, and having to clean the dojo after with the other new person (for almost 1.5 years) being the newest person - no interaction. Choose your activities carefully. My area is extremely rural so having to drive 45 minutes doesn't help, I don't think.

@DramaScenes1 9 месяцев назад

@therealad4342 9 месяцев назад

I’m in my mid 20s and I’m feeling this so badly right now. I started a new job where I spend 80% of my days alone and lately my core group of friends are always busy so I just feel left out and it’s become pretty lonely.

@ShikokuFoodForest 6 дней назад

I’m Canadian living in the Japan countryside for going on 14 years now and do not have a single friend. I don’t necessarily feel lonely. I have hobbies I enjoy, although I don’t want to continue living a life of social isolation.

@zachalejandro 8 месяцев назад

I'm almost 30. Some of my friends were already married and have kids and such. And here I am, single, with Paraplegic Cerebral Palsy with Autism, I'm starting to think I'm never going to succeed in life with making friends and hanging out with them, not much hanging out with new friends, a lot of which are online. And this brings up to a previous topic about dating. I'm very social when it comes to talking to people and getting to know them, I have trouble when it comes down to when they ask where do you live? Or what do you do for work? I don't ever get that, are you single regarding a relationship, I get these types of flirts a lot. I think in regards to online friends and not a lot of physical intimacy, they look at me or think of me as sexual tensions. I believe there is something other than that in there somewhere.

@rollingacresfarmstead206 9 месяцев назад

its never really bothered me spent my 20s and early 30s working 70 hour weeks and raising a family at the end of the day there isnt enough time, energy or care. Last week moved to a 55 hour week job in the same company, now its putting in time with the family and still dont care about making friends ( have a few from work where we all started at the same time) but outside of that i dont need it.

@ThriftingSquirrel 5 месяцев назад

I’m 39, and can make acquaintances easily, and “work friends” but I really struggle to make real friends who I can meaningfully connect with, and who share my values (values have become more more important to me recently), and hang out with away from work. I live in a large capital city, which makes it that much harder to navigate making friends. I’m also awkward - I’ll chat to pretty much anyone, and assume we could be friends, whereas not everyone is looking for friendships, and it could have nothing to do with me.

@maddywadsworth4312 9 месяцев назад

My current struggle. I’m 29 and honestly don’t have any of my own friends. My husband is a social butterfly and his friends have become mine + their wives are really friendly with me, but I don’t have a best friend or a friend of my own that I can talk to about personal things. 🤷🏼‍♀️

@jimv77 9 месяцев назад

I think if I tried to start making friends my wife would question my motive after 20 years of marriage and accepting this. Even if it was a new male friendship.... she'd be like "why now". We do have a trusting relationship, but when we just met, she did ask me why I am still emailing a girl from college that lives in a different city 6 hours away...hahaha. Not sure if she is a needy person, but she does drag me shopping with her and does not want to go alone unless she has to.

@hehasrisen1990 9 месяцев назад

I feel the same way. I’m single 37 year old and have found it’s really hard to make close friends, u less I have a boyfriend 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’d rather have some great female friendships

@SirenaSpades 9 месяцев назад

Agree. Single people, depending on if you work at home, can be completely isolated!

@Hollywoodloves2run 2 месяца назад

Julie seems awesome. If I were in Colorado I'd love to be her friend. Julie, if you're reading this, I hope you've found some good friends.

@jacquelinelewis5627 9 месяцев назад

I must be the odd one out LOL my husband and I are 39 and after having to work at just be totally drained from that and irritated from having to be nice and tolerate people that you can't stand lol you don't have any time left in the day for friends you're too busy catching up by your house word yard work setting time with your spouse or kids or pets or going to the gym and other activities that you have to try to squeeze in between your stupid job my husband has a friendship sets high school and he only sees the guy maybe like once every two or three months because it just hit the back burner because your priority is your spouse and your kids not your buddies I guess if she probably doesn't have a job and has a lot of time and is just bored

@SirenaSpades 9 месяцев назад

You are married, you aren't isolated.

@ikeacha4153 9 месяцев назад

She should listen to "Visiting Hours" by Ed Sheeran. That song is SOMETHING ELSE when it comes to dealing with grief

@rebelwithacause2229 9 месяцев назад

I just moved to a new area. I met two ladies early this year. Went out to lunch with the first one and met up with the second one for a drink. Right off the bat, they both dominated the conversations with all of their VERY heavy, personal business and drama happening in their lives. Just wanted to hang out and have fun and SLOWLY get to know each other. Not start off with heavy therapy sessions. 🤦🏼‍♀️ It’s really difficult to find people on the same wavelength. It takes time, but I keep myself occupied working and exploring my new area.

@thecramptons 9 месяцев назад

Exactly

@supermodelatlanta1354 9 месяцев назад

I went out last night. 2 people noticed i was alone and invited me to a table. I went in on a hooka. When i left no one talked to me. I dont have any friends.

@cur244 4 месяца назад

I've found a part time job or volunteering is the easiest way to make some friends. I've specifically got a part time job for this purpose. Just get something you're somewhat interested in. No doubt it's harder in 30's and 40s.

@andrealange3581 9 месяцев назад

Omg, this sounds like me. I made up playdate cards and I swear everyone looks at me like I have 2 heads.

@andrealange3581 9 месяцев назад

Playdate cards for my kids. Lol. Not for me, but I hope it turns into something for me.

@ForAncientKingAndElvishLord 9 месяцев назад

Lol I just wrote a comment about how everyone looked at me like I had two heads

@Searchin4keys 3 месяца назад

Im 34 & i have no friends. I have a beautiful husband & amazing children but i wish i had a couple girl friends just to hang out with & idk paint nails with or just chill & laugh with. I manage a grocery store & i bartend so i talk to people all day but it's so just baseline & half the time fake. I just want some friends lol i am lonely in the friend zone. That's for sure.

@CloudslnMyCoffee 3 месяца назад

Yup. Middle school and middle aged feel eerily similar

@skateata1 9 месяцев назад

This is so valid. I moved to a new state in 2020 when everything shut down. Thankfully I had some friends from high school but I haven't made any new ones. I'm not super social but idk where to even start at this age.

@ivankrushensky 15 дней назад

A hobby that interests you...that's where I would suggest. What do you like doing or what would you like to learn to do? Start doing that, and you will meet people along the way.

@michaeljohnson8347 15 дней назад

I would love to have more friends. its so much more difficult than should be 😢

@Raegoul 9 месяцев назад

I'm 46 and my wife is 42 and have been married for 10 years.... We decided we didn't want children and we like video games, technology, and twitch streaming. You should see the weird looks when we talk about our interests to people our age.

@robbynswiscoski3964 8 часов назад

I am in the situation with no friends. I cannot go to a group because of my finances I cannot afford to go for coffee either to buy the coffee ot the gas or bus to get there. I also have my own business

@JustinCase780 9 месяцев назад

People pick up on something subconsciously...being, that it's not all about you.

@steelcity4581 9 месяцев назад

This is also a problem for people in their 20s

@sidneybristow815 9 месяцев назад

Those new people sound rude. They’re the ones who don’t wave to you in town.

@CathyHautz04 9 месяцев назад

Try being 64 and all your siblings have passed along with all your friends. 😢 life is lonely when you're the only one still alive. 😢

@lilycat1694 21 день назад

Yep, I relate.

@amyismail8604 9 месяцев назад

Become friends with an extrovert, we will adopt you as our friend and introduce you to more people. 😂

@amylenoir345 Месяц назад

I am born in the 90s born and raised in Paris so I cannot comprehend people that do not want to socialise. I am extrovert it’s very annoying that people are acting cold all the time for god knows reason. Is it difficult to go for a coffee? 😂 in France every body talks to each other

@Darksky600 9 месяцев назад

What do people talk about most of the time? Surface conversations are so boring. I rather be alone to read and learn new things, or get someone to do some activity with (people have no interest now)

@Bbros_1012 9 месяцев назад

I live in a small town. I have lived here for 16 years. I moved here when my oldest was 5, he's now 23. In the mean time I've gotten married and had two additional kiddos. They are 9 and 11. I'm 44 now and still have 0 friends. I have acquaintances. But no real friends. I feel like I can't be myself around ppl in this town because I feel like Im funny and they stand there and stare at me. Lol if we are not on the same level personality wise I don't want to be your friend cause I'm not changing into someone I'm not. I'm Goofy and like to joke around . I find ppl just don't have personalitys anymore.

@bufficliff8978 4 месяца назад

Common cause! Take a class; join a club; volunteer. If there's no regularly scheduled event it won't work. If there's no common reason to be there it won't work.

@pbny212 20 дней назад

Julie sounds like a crap ton of fun, tbh.

@sw6155 9 месяцев назад

Noooo! DO CLEAN UP before you get folks over! At least move the laundry from dining table to the bedroom! 😅😅😅

@CJ2023Incognito 8 месяцев назад

Such a guy thing to not even bother to clean up. Lol Women totally judge that 😆. Just don’t have an immaculate house and say, “Sorry, everything is so messy”. Lol It’s a fine line.

@kevindavis4709 Месяц назад

Seems like in school it was easier to make friends vs tryna make friends as an adult

@sherrypeveto1868 9 месяцев назад

Dinner parties. At my house. Only the amount of people I have chairs for around the table. People of all ages. That’s how I do it

@ivankrushensky 15 дней назад

Bust out the grill and magically we sometimes need to get out the folding chairs, because all the chairs at the table are full. Next thing you know, you're up way later than you should be.

@lilycat1694 21 день назад

62 and have never had friends. I am very boring. Love animals, especially cats.

@ShikokuFoodForest 6 дней назад

We’re about the same age. I’m a single Canadian living in Japan and have 4 cats living in a big house with a mountain view. But, not a dingle friend. There is no expat community here and the Japanese never let anyone new into their in group.

@JozelleRenia 9 месяцев назад

I’ve definitely been struggling with this, I just posted a video on not having friends! YOU ARE NOT ALONE 🙌🏽. If anyone needs a friend in me in here💕

@Kinksgalore 9 месяцев назад

Last week a 22 yo woman got her friends called toxic because they wanted to hangout with her.🤨

@Alvin-xs7db 9 месяцев назад

I cant remember the full story but I know it was not as simple as what you're saying

@Kinksgalore 9 месяцев назад

@@Alvin-xs7dbshe gave no details about her friends other then they are female and wanted her time. She only wants to spend time with her boyfriend. The female friends got the toxic label.🙄

@user-he6rs8xi7u 9 месяцев назад

@@Kinksgalorenah, they felt entitled to have more time than the bf.

@Kinksgalore 9 месяцев назад

@@user-he6rs8xi7u incel

@ginnyfromdablock7551 9 месяцев назад

Her female friends got the toxic label because they were acting terrible. Not only were they not respectful of her new relationship, they wanted all of her time not just some of it. They were acting unhealthy and selfish. They were not content with having some of her time. They wanted the same amount as before.

@lot2196 9 месяцев назад

Adults don't really have friends. It's part of maturity.

@DeRocco21 6 месяцев назад

i really people just put the phones down and hang out

@lilycat1694 21 день назад

Screw people. I relate to animals and that is it.

@rebekahyospe1651 3 месяца назад

I leave my friend who passed snapchats all the time

@GodiscomingBhappy 7 дней назад

after 2020 the fabric of society seemed to rapture.... jabbed vs non jabbed, cancel culture, people are very confused to the point they dont know if they are men, women or chicken..... making friends in such an environment is challenging to say the least..... we all seem so traumatised🤔