This is so true. He chased me, made me feel like he was my soulmate, and as soon as I felt safe with him, he pulled the rug from under me. 😔 It’s so weird that they all behave so similarly! Is there a chip installed in their brain, or some narcissistic society where they all read from the same manual? 😂
It is incredible. They probably think they are so original/special but they all use the same playbook: Shortly after I met him I remember telling my best friend that I thought I had met my soulmate. And the devaluation was so subtle at first that I always questioned if I was imagining things
I really do think -because we share the exact same experience around the globe- that these creature are possesed(if you believe in spiritualyity) and/or a different breed of humans, I mean they are look like humans, but in reality they're not. Like a difference between homo sapiens(human) and pan troglodytes(chimpanzee).
Narcissists never contact you unless they need something from you. There is no real love or friendship. They just pretend to be your family/friend long enough to extract whatever it is they want from you. Their love is a sham.
Those of us that have begged...didn't know that it was fake, at the time. We thought that somehow we did something terribly wrong, to make the "poor man back away". And that's exactly what the asshole wanted us to think! Ugh.
@Sharla Sc : So true! The narcs are deceitful, very cunning people. I don't know why they exist. We, the very unsuspecting people, got fooled by the freaking bastards. I haven't stooped down to this lunatic since I found out he is an idiot narcissist. I give him whatever he deserves.
Yes..being with a narc is what I imagine heroin addiction to be like, ruining your body, mind ,soul, self respect & sanity, yet you crave for one more tiny little" high"..😒😵
You are very accurate Danish. I remember clearly being excited for any notification from my phone hoping it would be him and feeling absolutely terrible when it wasn't. Keep in mind when it was him and I'd reply immediately, he'd take a while to reply intentionally.
Yes, he was charming and caring and on the third day, he asked me to marry him. Thus began forty years of torture. I had no idea about narcissistic abuse, so I was always trying to do better. I believed everything was my fault. Never felt so alone or worthless. I divorced him five years ago. It takes a lot of work to heal, but I can see the finish line now. My life is so peaceful and free.
Yes, right. My husband is expecting me to answer his messages in seconds or he gets mad. And I have to be available at all times. But if I write something he ignores it, or tells me he didn't see it or had no time to answer. And he knows exactly that he is teasing me with that.
this so spot on. This is explained perfectly. Thank you for opening our eyes. Scary thing is why settle for breadcrumbs when others offer you the whole loaf.
He e is throwing bread crumbs to you and he will give the whole bread to his other supply in front you. I experienced this incident. But the sad thing is now I'm realising.
Please do cover the adrenal system, especially how it can create or worsen existing chronic health conditions! Learning about this has changed my life and my health is improving faster than ever before now that I understand how the fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response impacts the various systems. Actually, right now my doctors think most of my health problems can be traced back to being in that state too often during my formative years because it caused actual physical changes in my body and brain.
Wow. Light bulb moment. I thought I was going crazy. Thankyou for explaining this, it really helped. 5 weeks post narc and getting stronger every day ❤
Yes there was massive love bombing at initial stage. He was so interested in getting to know me and I noticed a change in his behaviour after 2 months of relationship. He started to treat me like rubbish and things became worse at the end and whatever promises that he made each time were all left unfulfilled. Thank you Danish, this video explains everything about the narcissist
I thought I had found my soulmate, but slowly he withdrew affection more and more until weeks would pass without hugs. and when he would oneday hug me i'd be overjoyed. I was totally lovestarved. My sister told me her husband gives her several hugs a day and I thought so thats what real love is. you dont need to beg for it they just freely give it.
I love how instead of blaming victims you are compassionate about their thought process and back it up with evidence. Most of us Are drugged with hormones and we can’t control it. It’s like addiction but people don’t get that thank you Danish!!❤️❤️
Each and every words of your's is totally resonate me .I am separated my narcissist husband but when I remembered love bombing period that time I felt I am lucky woman to found such a nice kind hearted loving husband but when time changed his behaviour totally changed for me. Many times I told him I can not live without him sometimes I felt I am begging for his love. Still some times feel so sad and realize what is happening with me dealing with him in court where he does not see my face and behave like he is unknown to me 💔💔💔which is really hurting 😢
The narcs I knew all were perfect in the beginning, too good to be true, unfortunately they were I used to be on cloud nine if I got a small message out of 4 days of nothing. Thank you Danish for your informative videos ♥️
Ppl seem to think only Rape or murder kind of stuff deserve punishment but so does dis,these ppl crush u to d core,i was a vry healthy happy confident woman but now forget it,well many ppl mite disagree or hate me for dis but I personally feel wat these ppl do is worst dan rape,Rape is to ur body n its horrible n criminal but dis lasts for yrs n d after effect too for many many yrs to cum n it changes u as a person
They are physically present without taking any action. For them it is love but for normal people it is nothing. I am now understanding each and every abuse after 11 years of marriage.
Sure it started at home with my parents,it gave me a craving for acceptance and at an early age of 18, I fell into wrong hands of a man who ruined my life, dumped me with a child and life was never the same for me again 😢 With time God helped me, I now know who I am and am so Grateful to God 🙏 But I lost complete trust to people,am very protective and reserved, I love solitude,it gives me peace and calmness
I have been married for 1 year. I was beginning to think I was crazy. He starts arguments and then says I can not do you anymore. He says he has done NOTHING wrong. Then goes on to say I treat terrible and that I am a liar. I am tired and I am preparing to leave in two months when l have enough money to secure a place.
Thank you Danish, I think this is the most informative and insightful explanation of narcissistic abuse. Also it's shocking that how disturbed these creatures are.
She used to be so confused as to why I’d protest her behavior, because she wasn’t going to leave me. It was like abandonment was the only relationship fear she understood as harmful. Daily fighting and manipulation tactics tho, I was supposed to be ok with, because those things are not abandonment.
I wish you the best life Danish, thank you. I so wish I could use my story to give information to others, but every time I try to, I feel like retraumatizing myself over and over and over. Only after a faded romance with a narcissist, I could understand I had a narcissistic mother. It's the second year of No Contact with both I still feel awful. It takes more than knowledge to do this job, it takes Strength!!! Thank you for helping people
this is a perfect explanation - thank you. it twists you up and you change in ways you never imagined. it’s the worst experience with another human being and it is difficult to get out of even when you know you have to end it. therapy and research and learning helps you get stronger but if you still interact with them i think it is almost impossible to fully heal yourself. and if you start pulling away then all the underhanded tactics you’ve ever and some you couldn’t have imagined come out. it’s horrifying really.
I'm about a week into a post narcissist state, feeling bad that I ask friends "Are you sure...?" because of conflicting feelings. He made me feel really special. Wanted. Cared for. I was really excited to find a daddy to my little too! And then he just.. stopped being affectionate. I was reading into every little message like "He wouldn't see what I'm up to multiple times a day if he didn't care. Right?" Turns out, he would. The last time he checked on me was when he got blocked by chick #3. The time before that he wanted to ERP with my friend. Dumbass had a string of girls he met, love bombed, simped for, and then ghosted and left them in his Discord. I contacted them and immediately went no contact with him.
Me too. Many other women, many dating sites. I spent 2 years with him. I was devastated to see the truth. But I thank God that I didn't waste more time with him.
My ex Narc sent me a late happy birthday. After like 8 months of zero contact. Why would she contact me two days after my birthday to wish me a happy birthday, but then say nothing? I experienced this to a tee. In the end, right when I figured out who she was and watching her mask slip. This woman is cruel and sadistic and its crazy too, because she ended up playing the victim and blame shifting it all on to me. This rollercoaster of emotions that you describe is exactly how it ended. Its been about 10 months no contact, and while I do still miss her. I don't miss the abuse. I can't believe how addicted to bare minimum I was with her. I resonated with "making a whole loaf out of breadcrumbs" that is what happened in the end. Im so much better and happier without her.
Same! Months and Happy Belated Birthday either 2 or 3 days after my actual birthday. It was a bait. Baiting. Hoovering. I now understand all these nutty behaviors. Glad you are healing. I was addicted to basically nothing too…
Yes at first he said he knew I was "the one", he was going to marry me. He had been looking for me all his life and he couldn't wait to move in and get married. This was all within the 1st month. He also said he had never cheated on anyone. Then he sat outside on his phone. Only texts were angry ones. In the end I found out he was cheating from the beginning with several women. Now I figure it was all a lie. I ended it a month ago. It was one of the most hurtful experiences I've ever had. I'm healing but it comes back to my mind and I say to myself, no it wasn't real, don't think about it. But it took a lot of crying, videos like this, praying, attending a church and getting out of the house more and time with family. Evil exists and it is in the narcissist. I am a caring and healing person. But I can't go down with a sinking ship. I still pray for him now and then but unless tons of therapy, maybe medicine on his part happens there is no way I will be involved with him again. It literally almost destroyed me.
Mine used to send me flowers, then plastic flowers which were very ugly and cheap. I don’t think he would consider it is acceptable as he studied arts. I saw it as humiliation. I saw the smirk when he gave it to me.
And the cheating! Oh my. I’ve come to realize he means it when he says “how dare you say.. I’ve ever cheated on you! Your the Cheater !” In his mind he’s simply getting what he deserves, a bigger slice of cake for the bigger man. I am cheating him every time I complain or try showing him reality. I’m cheating him of what he deserves, which is anything he wants and for me to know my place and gratefully Stay there!
Wow. Mine was so convincing when he said, " I've never cheated on anyone in my life." Guarded his phone like it was gold. When I wouldn't let him come back without access to his phone, I got the shock of my life. Several women. dating sites. Guard your ❤. Better to face it and see the truth than waste years, I wasted 2 years. I'm already much better after a month. But it was painful.
the phone thing is so real. smh. i know that feeling of waiting on them to call or text and the rush of dopamine it gives off. i hate that feeling. which is why i'll remove the narcs contact pic, and replace their name with ***, xxx, or ... simply because i dont want my mind to automatically connect the image or name of that person. i do it to receive little to no emotion response, and it works!!
Hai Danish, What you said was right in my case. My past data collection was there & later it was used against me. I went through the love bombings, trauma and now through a silence period.
It is this moment where the things are not the same in my case . Yes ,it is true that the feelings started to decrease in my relationship ( the feelings of the narcissist). At first, he used to send me texts of love songs (Spanish songs) translated in my language ( Bulgarian) because he knows Spanish very well, along with various emojies and kind words referring to me.❤ Later on ,as the time passed ,he stopped sending me these texts of songs 🎵( they were very romantic), but he continued sending me emojies and and the same messages ( for good morning, in the afternoon and for good night). Sometimes he went to bed and didn't send me the last message. And the next day he explained he just fell asleep. And this is the true because he often does that. He never stopped the messages but his attitude towards me gradually changed. His insults ( verbal) - direct and indirect ( mostly indirect) had started so I didn't care about his messages anymore. I somewhat started feeling that they were...a bit artificial ,imaginary and moreover- a form of control over me. There were some days I didn't care about them at all. Sometimes I was pleased at his attention and accepted it as a strange form of affection and love but soon after that I felt all this as a form of control... Despite this, I didn't leave him. I just missed the right time to do it . And now it is very hard to me to do it ( as if it is a kind of addiction) . I have decided and I am sure I will definitely do it. But I still postpone it and I know it is wrong. My first attempt was very soon and it wasn't very successful because he phoned and said he loved me and my son...and that everything is in my hands. There were tears in his eyes. I expected that he would yell at me, as always, and accuse me about all things...but he didn't. I was very surprised that I missed him so much and all good memories appeared in my mind... And now he thinks we will gather again but I actually don't want because he wouldn't change and I know it... I just can't stand his negativity and all that stuff... and I wonder how I will tell him to split up once again, how to explain my actions ( maybe Stockton syndrome)....
Went thru all d phases in ur videos,but finally he left me,cudnt cope wit it for months but finally stumbled upon Ramani durvasulas videos n later urs and understood all d confusion i was going thru n realised dat he is a Narc n now i am glad he left me,recently suprisingly after a year exactly he said he wants to patch up but i told i wil nver dare to get bak in such a abusive relationship again
Such horrible fear and panic, when my text alert wd go off, and it wasnt him! Danish, THANK YOU for putting your own experiences into this! It helps so much, that you can completely empathize , yet teach us, at the same tine! Im an RN...id so love to be able to help in yoyr office. :-)
Thank you for this video, very related, mine seems to have used vulnerable way to woe me portrayed the ex wife as a monster, got me to move in with him, can't tell all the story is to long, anyways about 6 months later I realized he was not divorced a relative blurted out causehim and this relative had fall out,he claimed was his house she was taking, but in fact he told lies about it to me, I told him I feel like he needed to sort his ex out first before continuing the relationship with me and the little horror flags was showing a bit, he persisted that he found his dream girl, and yip made my head go spinning so I stayed, he behaved just up until our wedding was sealed the other side came out and from there it was little by little becoming a nightmare for me, yes the love bombing did for a long time hold me captive, but what I see and feel now just like you speak of being in prison that is the best way to describe me now, only difference I'm no more looking at that breadcrumb I'm looking to be set free, I'm almost there, just a bit more of this war with him and I can see my final door of release day from him, thank you so right about the fact they say they there but yet as a person that can feel, I cannot feel the love emanating from him, thank you
@@juliecarson4332 thank you, wishing you a strong healing recovery, I'm 3 days away from filling for divorce, enough is enough, cried to much hurt to much and my mental health almost went down the tube because of him not to mention my health, I will be strong and I know this is the best decision, 24 years of him messing with my heart emotions feelings and mind the train stops here time to offload now, I still have a long way to heal, but I know eventually that sunshine in me is going to return, thank you strong prayer of good healing to you and others, we will be strong and conquer 🙏💪
My narc ex has taken my daughter and not allowing me to talk, meet my daughter. I can’t sleep since last 3 and half years. Mentally traumatise , luckily I have a great job and it keeps me very busy through out the week.
My crazy long distance sometimes, relationship, sometimes i see a bit of this but its just his way. Hes not a narcissist . He's just a guy that has a diffrerent love language than me. I've grown and learned that alot of how i feel is just circumstance, like last night i must have been really tired. I look at the whole picture and sometimes try to teach him in conversation what i need from him. It works pretty well. We are in our 60s. So... wounded sheep that love, live and learn and need to trust the Lord for affirmation, and encourage each other along the way. Been in much much worse circumstances in the past. Won't do it again. Its good to remember that not all men or women are narcissist. But watch out for them and don't be dragged under.
The second time round when I was convinced to take him back, I kept getting all these romantic emoji and cartoons with captions about love and being his one true love, then all of a sudden they stopped, I couldn't understand it, then I looked up the explanation for Passive aggressive, on Google, and it explained about it being Narcissistic, and I then learned about Narcissism, and it all started to make sense., then I found channels like this, that further educated me, and Thank You.✨🙌🌄💜
Hello Sir, I experienced exact same what you explained. I met a girl on social media and she chased me like everything. After some time, she started getting away from me and I began to fall like anything. I waited for her message and call but no response from Her.I told her I'm not happy with you and said her goodbye and stopped having conversations. After some time, I met a new female friend and we enjoyed hangouts and outing. She saw these statuses and started posting status on her profile and whenever I change my dp she also changes her dp. I thought she has realized her mistake and I started talking to her again but he started love bombing and again she pulled herself away and I feel shattered. I finally decided to let her go and without any goodbye message I cut off her silently and went complete no contact. Now, still she comes online the same time when I come online. May be she's stalking or observing me and want reaction out of me.I don't know why?! It would be great if sir or anyone can help me out of this question that why she's doing so and what she wants now?! And I went complete no contact with her. Is it my right response to her?! You are doing wonderful job for us. Thank you so much sir ☺️🙏💚
@Randall Glatt Yes, i cut her off silently without any goodbye message. She wasn't even watching my stories and as soon as I pulled myself back she again started watching stories. I felt shattered not because she's narc but she used me as an object. It has been 5 months, I'm in no contact with her and I'm on my healing journey. Thank you for taking time to address and answer my question and these sweet efforts and suggestions. Thank you. God bless you Sir/Ma'am. ☺️🤗🙏❤️
Yes, its been months that I am ignoring him anymore, because his affections are on and off. They wanted to be chased, but I am not putting much attention to him anymore. What I do is tell him that I will be giving him away to his ex loves. But he still stays with me and going back to me. I am really tired of his behavior, but I pity on him so much.
He got to knw I am thirsty for love n care (lik people be thirsty for money, Wht not) ... Still he ignored n refuse to giv.. nt lik he is nt understanding or is bzy in job things, he knw but still ignores
Sir, i have a question in which I could not get a clrear answer.....me and husband has all the characters you explained ...i just feel all that you said and it was your video that helped me identify the issue with my relationship.... thankyou...my question is, he is very good to his parents and sister, in all means..but remaining unavailable for me..can a person be a narcissistic just for partner...
@@annekerotterdam7499 what if the his parents give him the space to be the king of his family as he is the only earning member in their family....and the partner doesn't have any such obligation other than Love....
Brother this is what I do , what should I do? I m a narcissistic person but i will never fall for a narcissistic ,I want a normal person in future and i am trying to change myself ,pls help me 😢😢
Didn’t even get love bombed. I just love her so much she is so vanerable and needs help so badly. But now I’m hooked she she is just horrible. I still can abandon her tho. I threw her out of my house as she was behaving so badly but since then it’s just been a nightmare: nothing I can do will make her response normaly she told me she loved me for first time in so long yesterday but they said she loves me but she doesn’t like my character, I fanught her lying and now she just says I adont trust her and she can’t be with someone she can’t trust even though she knows she lies……..even if I tell her I trust her completely she is still the same. With I could forget her.
is it good to unmask the narc ..my narc husband has messaged me that I am not talking to him n I am spoiling his life .. should I go to court ..can u make a video on how to end relationship with covert narcissist..am worried about our daughter..I want her never to meet him but he may do something..do coverts narc come back even if I say it's over between us anyone do reply .
I wasn't in a relationship of any kind with him. I was just a fan who loves him and wanted to be of the most help and support. I loved his voice and music. I didn't get that far in any serios relationship and did let him I love him. Ignored me and l knew I had to let go. I'm still have feelings for him. I know He doesn't feel that way about me. He hates me. I have to move on alone or maybe someone else will come into my I like and he's nice. I'm not in rush I'm taking my time to heal and hope somethings works out for me. If not that's okay. I lived alone for over 20+ years and I can do it again.
