How do Narcissists treat their friends? 

I had a friend who probably had NPD. When I told her my kidneys were failing (again) she sighed loudly (on the phone) and said "AND? What's that to me?" My health didn't concern her, since she wanted to talk about something else. That's the last time I talked to her. And my kidneys were OK - false alarm.

Your mind seems literally the same as my former friend. One of my other friends told me she thought he was jealous of me. I was all whaaa??? It didn’t make sense because he both had me in his top tier AND would constantly devalue me. It made me so frustrated and confused. One day the last day I ever saw him, I asked him if he actually really cared about other people’s feelings or understood that people are affected by him. He said basically no, and it was at that moment that I realized he didn’t think of me bc as an individual in a way, I was just part of his weird world. Like a prop. Thanks for sharing.

This describes my ex to a T. Now I understand why she devalued me so much, being one of the only two people who has seen every side to her. And in the beginning she did say things like “we’re the most attractive couple I’ve ever seen” and devalued other couples, other people around us which I did not know how to take. It was just volatile. Because I never understood her mind, I had no other model than my own, so I blamed myself for a long time. Now I understand. Unfortunately, after her, I encountered another person who was very similar to her but that person never let me through the door so to speak, and kept up this facade of status and prestige and professionalism. Having understood the signs I’m more ready to let them go, because they do still haunt me from time to time with what ifs.

i remember him telling me "i had you so high up" and i asked what did he mean by that, high up in a pedestal or what, and he said something like "i don't know how to explain it but i kinda see it as a table" after watching this video i think i finally understand what he meant. im pretty sure he was trying to tell i was at the top circle (which i sadly was). this is crazy, tysm for explaining this

Having an older brother and a friend who fit into the narcissist personality type that you described, it is really interesting to hear your experience and showcasing. The roles that are connected makes lots of sense. Thanks for sharing.

Thank you for your honesty. Well, to be a narcissist's friend from that hierarchy perspective is not very attractive. I wouldn't want to be under you all the time. People should be equal and appreciated. I rather search for a friend who can appreciate me as I deserve it.

Good video. I relate to the “top circle” thing and boosting and “taking care” of everyone in that circle as long as loyal. Exactly how I think too. I admire that you’ve been tryna branch out how you address ppl now that you’re self aware. I will forever love how you promote the NUANCES of everything. Like yes these ppl are here to help me regulate xyz but also I respect them. Cuz ppl wanna think narcs are this “one sided evil”

Thank you for sharing your experience. It provides great insight to those who care for people with NPD.

Relatable, the hierarchical thinking. This one has me stumped--don't normies do that?! From what I understand, they divide people into groups, such as friends vs. acquaintances. People they really like, trust, and confide in vs. people they just see every once in a while to hang out and have fun with, but nothing on a deeper level. I'm confused. 🙈 Lol. Would love for some normies to join the discussion and explain how they view things, and why. As always, keep up the good work! 👍😁

Thank you for putting yourself in such a vulnerable position and sharing your inner-self. You really helped me in understanding my narc husband and how his mind thinks, and how he views and treats people according to why and who they are in his hierarchy. Very insightful.

So basically people are objects and tools which serve a purpose. Their feelings be dammmed

Just discovered your channel recently and it's been cathartic for me. A friend of mine who has many narcissistic tendencies has silently cut me out a few weeks ago after I politely reminded him of certain boundaries that he'd been repeatedly overstepping. I think he thought I didn't like him anymore, so he left me before I could leave him 😔 it's probably for the best, but I'm still hurt nonetheless. I appreciate your insights 🌟

Thank you for sharing this intriguing insight, I find it very helpful in learning about different types of Narcissism. Appreciate your honesty and viewpoints a lot!

My friends were the most abused through the years. Although now with therapy I am more empathetic and have more patience.

Thank you for your posting! I just came upon your channel and listening to your story and awareness of your NPD really helped me to gain insight and understanding of my experience with a friend of mine who treated me actually the same way you described how you regard and treat your friends who are higher up on the hierarchical scale of friends and those who serve some purpose and value to you. I’m a Yoga Therapist and Spiritual/Wellness Transformational Coach so I guess I was considered on his higher scale of his hierarchical scale of friends. In the beginning stages of our friendship he really treated me very special, at times I was overwhelmed by his kindness, I really felt special, like a member of his family. I was one of his friends he shared many of his personal feelings with, how he felt the way his parents raised him, the pressure to be successful, make a lot of money and he also shared experiencing what I would describe as emotional abuse and neglect from both parents. Our friendship started to become very close, he even told me “I share things with you that I can’t talk to my other friends about, all they want to do is party and do drugs with me.” But after a few months I began to see a very dark side to him, the devaluing started, he became very critical of me, blamed me for his negative emotions, was impatient, lost his temper, I felt like I needed to walk on eggshells whenever I was with him, I didn’t want say or do anything to make him angry with me. He eventually began to treat me like I was a piece of garbage. I couldn’t understand what was happening! I was confused and overwhelmed by the experience but I didn’t want to abandon him as a friend. We would get into many arguments and end up apologizing and becoming friends again. During our friendship I witnessed many of his friends and acquaintances be discarded or how he would describe as “ it’s time to cut them loose” I eventually came to learn my friend had a fear and contempt for emotional intimacy he cheated on all his girlfriends and couldn’t maintain an emotional connection with anyone. When our friendship began to become closer I experienced more of his cruelty and it began to take a toll on me emotionally and mentally. I had to walk away from this person and our friendship and spent years trying to heal by myself. My friendship with him lasted only 3 years and I suspect that’s about how long most of his friendships and romantic relationships last as well. But I wanted to thank you for your posting you explained things in such a way that anyone going through this might have a better understanding of people with NPD. I’ve listened to many psychologist and therapist RU-vid channels about Narcissism and Narcissistic Abuse and they all say the same thing, “ go no contact” but I must admit that is not always an easy thing to do and in some cases not realistic if you share children with someone with NPD. The funny thing is, and I know this is going to sound strange, I miss my friend very much. But I do now realize it was a toxic relationship that was not sustainable. Thank you for your post and channel!

Wow eye opening...admire your candour

Thank you for your candidness. :) You value people for how “good” they are as in their status or what they can do for you because your parents did that to you. They never showed you the unconditional love you deserve. You likely dealt with deep pain as a child and squashed it down. As for the control I think it’s likely because now you can control vs. before as a child you were given no free will. I think should start to observe what you consider lower status people do acts of kindness without any reward. I think that would help you start to value kindness and selfless acts as a major value. I think maybe after some time doing that you might help change your mindset.

Thank you for doing this video it makes sense how my narc treated me and why he may not have let me get close enough to know him. It kinda sucks still because I wouldn’t have thought less of him but I understand why. 👍🙏🏾

Just found your channel and your stuff is bomb! Appreciate you doing the work to better yourself. Something you said that stuck with me - NPD is just BPD with a grandiose shell - I wonder, if one could 'disable' the grandiose shell, could BPD treatment work for NPD? DBT is extremely effective, if one commits to it. Just a thought.

I was triangulated with my nex’s friend. They definitely had strong loyalty towards my narc ex, would believe every manipulation said against me.. so F**’d up!

This is why I don't do circles ...look how much work it's to be one on top... competition amongst friends everyday. In my circle I'm always on top and I look down on no one.

2:46 good hearing narcissist admit this because most arent self aware and wont admit this. With narcissist they are always competing with close ones compared to others in the world. They could use this mindset to build a buissness and think their buissness is the best but instead they want to always be surperior to closed ones when deep down they are insecure of their own abilities so their leadership typically always leads to failure like their relationships. Very sad how they chase narcissist supply which only slowly destroys them overtime because they never face the real problem like not constantly needing validation from others

took the similar minds test (not a good metric for diagnosis so i dont trust it) but i got 70% on NPD. this video sounded like my deepest secrets finally being exposed. i think i may have to go back to therapy haha. good video!

I'm not getting why one would keep up any type of friendship if it doesn't serve you in any way? Any social ties take energy and investment, why to waste your precious time?

I had a friend who had NPD(I Think) One time during recess time we were playing and my school would sometimes do a super hug to someone else(where you hug someone very tightly) so my and my NPD friend went to join since we didn't have anything else to do. So the person who was in the middle said it was tight so I stopped and told my NPD friend to stop but he still kept trying to do it to me and the person so I had to push him off of me like hard since hs was hughing like very tight. He ended up falling and his hand hit his mouth and he started to cry and scream and when he got up he started to punch and hit me. I cought his hand and told him to stop but he wasn't thinking and kept punching and hitting me. Then he finally stopped when the teacher called to go back in line. The next day I told my mother and she told me to just ignore him so I did. When I got there and he tried to talk to me I told him to stop and that I didn't want to talk to him. I was trying to put it lightly. But he kept thinking I was playing and he kept asking "what does stop mean?" "What does stop talking to me mean?". So I just told me I'll ignore him if you keeps doing that so then stopped and went away. He ended up crying in class with his head down just because I didn't want to talk to him. The teacher pulled him aside to talk to him and he told the teacher what happened. So right before it was the next period the teacher pulled me aside to talk and she basically asked what happened between me and him. And I told her. She told me that he's very sensitive and soft. Which made me very annoyed because he's done stuff like that before and he never got in trouble because the teachers would just say that he's sensitive. So the next week since it was Friday, it was Field day. So when we were playing this sponge game were you basically splash it on people it ended up going out of control and the teachers chased the students and splashed water on them and some of the students chased the teachers. The funny part is that the teacher chose one student that she had talked to before saying "be careful when we'll be playing the sponge game" and chased him mainly. So My NPD friend splashed water on me which was fun but it ruined it because he told me "that's for what you did" which I replied saying that it was his fault since I had told him to stop. So when I told him that he just stared at me stunned and he didn't talk to me for the rest of the day. So the next do or 2 days after we were at lunch and me and my NPD friend sit at the same table. So I went to use the bathroom and the girls table is at the entrance the exit to the bathroom so when I came back I saw one of the girls had a Pringles can with crumbs. So I asked if I could have it since they weren't going to eat it and I loved Pringles crumbs. So when I went to my table with it I told my friend what I got I think I gave him some and ate the rest. So when I held it up to my mouth to eat he was trying to read the experation lable to I was playing so I tapped his hand with the Pringles can since it was underneath it. So he just looked at me. So when I did it again he slapped my arm. I looked at him and said that he couldn't hit people to take put his anger. So I turned around to look at something else since I was annoyed that he did that. Then he came in front of me while crying and he literally punched me on my shoulder so hard it was hurting for the rest of the school day. One of the safety workers saw this but he only just moved him to a different table saying how we just needed space and he didn't even get in trouble and he was crying the whole time. So the next day during lunch I went to sit at a different table dar away from him so this was behind the girls table so I was talking to them and basically told them what happened since the teachers didn't even really do anything about it. So the social worker heard since she was in the lunch room and came over to asked what I was talking about I told her and she basically asked if I wanted to talked to my NPD friend about this I said yes. So she went over to ask him he said after he finished eating so we waited and then we came together and we decided to talk and we agreed to not be friends and try to have space away from each other but to not be rude to each other. So for the next few days it was actually fine and I was happy about it but I was also still very annoyed that he never got in trouble for what he did since the teachers kept saying he was sensitive and soft but the students agreed with me and said that he was kind of childish.

Thanks for giving these insights... it helps!

Can you please do a part 2 of this video. Where you go more in depth about the closer intimate friendships that you keep and explain how you keep them more one on one type friendships? I think I became a friend like that to someone and I was completely isolated from my friend group through a “divide and concur” type strategy. It was completely devastating, Until I went no contact after I realized who the "puppet master" actually was. That person definitely "switched " the moment they became more comfortable with me.

This is just using for self benefit. Would you say you were a lost boy? Family neglect-emotionally distant? How did you grow up? Is there a link to your early childhood for reference. I appreciate your hard work and sharing on this channel for positive change, good on you brother.💪👊👌🙏💦

This guy needs to be told he is not the KING of the Universe

Like the hairdo. Always wanted it but not sure what the name of it is to tell my barber. What is it called?

My narc sister inlaw asked me if I can babysit for her .. meanwhile my foot is in a cast w crutches ..she says , do you mind .. your not going anywhere soon w that cast 😵‍💫

Nobles oblige??? What you described are otherwise called naive flying monkeys. And the next higher are lesser N flying monkeys.

you also have a group that you assume are against you. that dont play into your or support your veiw of yourself or test your beliefs. we are hated.

Like favorite characters in role-playing games!

Why do you wear shades in the house a lot?

Do you do 1 on 1 to get advice or better explanation of peoples situations from you personally?

Are you a Leo?

Are you proud to be a narcisst?