Go check out @ClusterCollective ! (ru-vid.com/show-UC9NmvABQEZAUNnlbinvFf1A) I lowkey ripped the title of this video off them so I have to pay them back some how. Gotta look out for our fellow cluster B's!
Lmao bro ty! Appreciate. The way you did your shoutout was so narcy too, i loved it, made me chuckle. I agree, both our channels have a diff vibes and both are 🔥. We each have something awesome and important to share. Cluster B fam for life💪
Just a ps, the song down below was the only way I could show what was going on inside my head, like a hopeless battle between my mind and the insanity of this world, for me only music has ever helped me personally this way, for 3 days I watched nothing but Russia and Ukraine until I started to detach from myself, I was there. I had to make an emergency call to my psychologist because my desperation to make it stop become so powerful I couldn't even blink....this is the opposite end of the scale, I'm nearly in tears thinking about it. I'm shaking, imagine that your videos are being watched by one silent child right now...not commenting, just learning top5s UK the butterfly 🦋 effect, if you exist there is.....a reason for it. Do not ever doubt that. As a mother of boys, I am so proud of what you're doing. And I know you'll get this...🤭😏 thank you for not talking about.....🙄 Harry's wife 😉❤️🩹.
Of course self aware narcissists enjoy the praise and validation they get from talking about it, but I think a lot of people who stumble across information about it are grateful to be given the knowledge, considering that we learn how hard it is for you to be open and honest about it. Finally these kinds of people start to make sense to us and we devour any information we can get because we've been hurt by them for a lifetime and it's also the only closure we will ever have.
All would be wise to keep in mind these narcs are still narcs. All the cancerous praise and validation heaped upon them only feeds the monster. They are a cancer, a plague upon decency and must be treated as such. There are many good and decent individuals rotting in their graves because of these people….
If you need validation, at least get it in a way where you are not hurting people but helping them. I wish all narcs self awareness and more importantly, GENUINE SELF LOVE - the lack of which is why they resort to Machiavellian tactics to begin with,
Wish narcs understood you don't need to be toxic to get your needs met. It's so much better if it's given outta genuine love and respect versus manipulation and obligation
Their needs are not the same as ours. This guy is trying to make sense of how he feels with fractured information. You have to take it with a grain of salt.
I can speak from experience. How can you tell…easy. Not being mean btw…they have immature responds to everything….tell fantastical stories but mostly they distroy relationships & an occasions for no logical reason. If you criticise them mostly to defend yourself they fly into a rage…and systematically go about distorting your life. This happened to me…the upside is I know who are my real friends. He wasn’t physically abusive but punished. I was with him for 11 years and was never asked what I though about anything. Trust me…don’t react just walk away. In time they loose everybody who truly loved them. It’s sad how they can hurt good people and have no idea. I looked at my ex across the room at a party and felt truely sorry for him…working so hard to be someone.
This has been very helpful! After the breakup I wanted to look at my ex as a narcissistic monster but that just made me more resentful towards myself and her. Now that I’ve been looking into the mind of more narcissist like yourself, it’s made me more understanding of the behaviors my ex displayed and why thing went the way the did. That feeling of resentment is slowing turning into peace☮️
Thanks so much!! The amount of help I can offer to people who people suffered because of people like me is limited but I like to think properly explaining it can help Atleast a little bit. Cause In my experience resentment doesn’t lead to anything real healing, just masking the hurt (and I’m an expert at that lol) so I’m really glad it’s having that effect! Best of luck to you in your healing!
Right…. And it helps me not to feel like it was because of ME. It hurts to think someone would DO this to ME. It’s kind of a selfish way of thinking. They do this to EVERYONE. I’m no more special than the next chick or the one before me. Or the grocery clerk… the co worker… they’re instilled behaviors. He didn’t behave like that JUST to me or BECAUSE of me.
Hi, I've been in a relationship for 5 years with someone with NPD and I have suffered immensely, gone through millions of emotions and come out with my dignity and no negative feelings towards her. I'm mightily impressed by your openness and courage , you have my respect.
My wife of 28 years. Shows all the signs of covert narcissism. I had no idea. Now it's very difficult as I hear it nonstop. Goes out of her way to poke, poke, poke until I respond negatively and down the rabbit hole we go. I actually want to help her as we have a family and very long history. But I cannot continue to live like this. I related to the whole NPD are the worst people just get the f* out of the relationship. The catch is I don't think she is aware of what she does ( at least not trying to hurt cognitively ) But most of what I watch is don't waist your time it will never get better. Maybe I'm full of hopium or want to save her but I just don't think she is intentionally mean. Hoping couples therapy with a therapist with NPD knowledge can help. I appreciate everyone's thoughts on this even if I disagree or it's painful. Thanks Nameless you have really helped me to start understanding.
Hi Nameless. I appreciate your channel. I specialize in helping women recover after relationship trauma with a highly narcissistic abuser. I agree with a lot of what you are saying about the demonization of people with NPD. In my sessions with clients, understanding that the person they loved has/had a disorder that played out in certain ways and showed up ultimately as this type of abuse leads to them moving past certain roadblocks to their healing. The worst of these is the persistent idea that it was their fault, that they are insufficient in some way, that they are stupid, un-lovable, and that's why they experienced those things.They become paralyzed with self-doubt and questioning of their reality. They are heart broken and feel hopeless. They've lost their sense of safety, self-esteem, self confidence, trust, love, faith in their abilities, freedom to express themselves, belief in their own perceptions, and spiritual connection. Some pwNPD are extremely psychologically and emotionally abusive. This doesn't equal EVERYONE with the disorder. Severe cases of abuse are the ones that come to me. Again, your videos are really helpful.
I’m really glad their helpful!!! And that’s something I realized after I started this channel that still confused me to this day, the self blame for abuse. I think for victims that’s where my channel can be the most helpful. Recontextualizing it from “this was a horrible monster” to “this was a really sick person who hurt me” thank you again!!
This has been my experience being in relationship with someone who has high N traits if not full blown NPD which I can’t diagnose because I am not a doctor., however…..the damage and the toll it has taken on me has been profound, diagnosis or not.
I agree. I don't think it supports anybody's healing to think that they were "target" of narcissist bc they were so weak and flawed. The narcissist sees your worth but the disorder plays a role.
I had a really hard time accepting that my ex was an evil monster, he truly showed signs of suffering through the whole relationship. In fact, it was his suffering that made me feel obligated to stay. Even after all he did I still feel bad for him (although I knew better than to ever actually TELL him I felt bad for him) but I know I’m responsible for my own self first.
You should 100% look after yourself rather than trying to "Save" another person who is obviously struggling. It's a hard thing to deal with for us, but it's our responsibility to heal. not anybody else's. But, viewing it as being an evil monster isn't accurate. We have a mental condition and when we don't know how to get out needs met we can become toxic. But we can change and often do (53% remission rate for pwNPD)
@@ThenamelessnarcissistI think we just need to learn how dangerous a narcissist can be” that’s why people throw out their experience. To warn others. I know everyone’s different. Thank you for this insight, it was vary helpful. But- *We want to fix it / or at least understand ( the problem) cause we genuinely care. *we stay cause we love you. *we wouldn’t even try or stay if we didn’t love you. *we wouldn’t come back- time after time if we didn’t love you: *but when you push us away … we have no choice but to leave. But it’s not because we don’t love you, it’s not because we don’t care.
@@mr.makedonija2627ahhh yes you are clearly more qualified to determine things than the psychologist who conducted the study he got that data from , check yourself
Thank you for this, i was abused by my ex for over 13 years, it drove me to a mental breakdown, i thought she was possessed and tried to excise the demon out of her in front of my kids, i was then put in a mental hospital for a week and she then ran away and took my kids with her. Went to domestic abuse and courts and made out i was controlling and abuseive (projected her behaviour on me) She moved away from everyone who knew me and my kindness and how i am and saw her true personality traits etc. So she could control the narrative and she still does and restricts access to my kids 😞😭 I told her she was a narcissist but in a way that just labeled her bad behaviour towards me like your such a narcissist you do this you do that, this would make her lose her shit and scream at me 😢 wish i saw these videos years and years ago i would of been able to get her help. But thank you it is brave admiting mental health problems to the world, it is something i have learnt to do with my own breakdown /pshycosis even though i prob would not have either if it wasn't for the imense emotional abuse i suffered from her. ❤ Much respect to you brother
My ex told me he was “ broken “ and that me loving him was to good to be true and I didn’t believe him thought it was bullshit because he could never be vulnerable
Anthony Weiner told his wife, who worked side by side with Hillary Clinton before the were married, "I am broken. You need to fix me." OMGOODNESS!! He, too, was diagnosed with NPD. As we definitely could all see by watching ALL his actions and especially the documentary about him running for office again after he was caught doing all his nefarious activities. I hope you are doing well! 🌺
Reminds me of the saying “hurt people, hurt people.” You’re right it doesn’t excuse the behaviors but it is easier not to take it as personally when it happens. Thank you for the video
While I agree with you that narcissism should be detected early and treated, it might be more effective to teach children empathy skills - at school. Make it a part of the curriculum. That way, the more empathic kids will realize what abuse is and learn to avoid it.
Watching you is like watching my husband .. 28 years waste and two beautiful kids .. he finally won and broke my beautiful family.. and the new supply only use him as a booty call.. and I have to have a meeting with him soon ..what a nightmare Anyway thank you so much for being so brave and doing this!
I couldn't agree more. Mental health is not handled as well as it should be. Also stigma and shame is a huge problem. It's funny, people say you can't heal in the place that made you sick. People with mental disorders can't heal in a society that allows for no compassion or understanding for their disorders. Also this is very helpful, as someone who went through this abuse. Although it is painful still, I think it is important to understand. Compassion heals and hate breeds more pain.
It's the first thing I did when I discovered what I was also went around family members and gave them the run down and apologized for my disgusting behavior now for therapy
I have so much compassion for you all. I don't want you as my partner but I know you guys are suffering. And that breaks my heart. You exiled your whole true being. The first and ONLY thing that should be your focus, is to get that little guy out at all costs. Once you connect, feel safe with and become who you actually are, that person that you have totally squashed into oblivion, not the construct of yourself you are using to come off as a real person, you will be able to connect and feel safe with others. I loved my ex. But I could see his real self that he also exiled. He did show up in little flashes, or blips. And THAT was who I was in love with. But unfortunately, he was emotionally abusive to me, in the same way he is with himself. And I didn't want to remain in that Chalice with him. So I jumped out to save my life. It was really hard to leave him there alone with himself because he craves deeply to have a close connection with another, I see and feel his suffering around this and in general, but he just can't do it. So if you think you are going to be able to have a close intimate connection with a partner, someone you let into your being on the deepest level, without first having that kind of relationship with your true self, you are fooling yourself. You can fake your being, or try to, but it is impossible to fake your way through an intimate partner relationship. My ex, after 3 years was still hiding from me. Our relationship remained in the shallows and at arm's length. It was excruciatingly painful. He wanted a partner without actually BEING a partner to me. He is NOT aware. He thinks he is normal, although he feels there is something off. I know, not logical but that is how he is. He does not connect the dots. Should I tell him??? I mean, I feel mean not telling him.
You are right. Heading the truth about why someone hurt me, and knowing it wasn't on purpose and not my fault is everything. I'm greatful you are explaining it from your point of view. You are doing a good thing.
Your input has been the closest to reality I feel. I feel like I actually know my ex more through watching your videos. You and Lee I enjoy watching a lot.
One of the most misunderstood thing about narcissist is how logical they are once you learn to understand them. Caricatures everywhere corner them in their worst fear : the shame of being who they are, which is the best way of keeping them from therapy. Sure there is abuse and resentment but hate only leads to hate. Narcissist hates mostly because of the illness, and people hate them because of abuse and cultural misinformations. One quote from a Miyazaki movie : You must see the world with eyes unclouded by hate.
I don't see the click bait--you kept your promise by addressing the subject matter in your title. 😉 What many people don't realize is that one of the diagnostic requirements for NPD (and other Cluster Bs) is exactly what you mentioned--the suffering (though paraphrased) caused by the disorder/s. Malignancy my a$$! Lol As always, keep up the good work! 👍😁
So is it pretty typical that if you felt like you were overly vulnerable with someone one night, like you let your guard down, that the next day you'd be much more quiet and overly distant from them even when in the same room? This happened to be frequently with my best friend and I would be so confused because I thought we really bonded, and then it was like a switch flipped and I would get super anxious.
YES 100% Everytime I open up I can't even face the person after. I just did last night and I'm too ashamed to answer her text. I feel like the "real me" is ugly and disgusting. And I'm afraid they'll hate/leave me after seeing it. Especially if they don't react the way I want. If the person is still in your life, I'd tell them that you are really glad they opened up to you and it took a lot of courage. I'd use a comparison to satisfy the hierarchical thinking "Most people could never do that" or something. Sorry to hear about your situation. Wishing you the best!
Wish I knew this two weeks ago, or more accurately, a year ago. I couldn’t take the emotional abuse anymore so I started to lash out at him at times with the same intensity as he lashed out at me. I feel terrible about that, but at the time I just couldn’t take anymore of his mean, cold hearted words and behavior. Reactive abuse feels horrible. There are no winners.
Also… I was abused as a child, and I didn’t grow up and decide to hurt people “to feel safe” or to have control. I grew tf up and realized self love was all I was missing, to read people and stay away from snakes, stop caring about what everyone thinks, and gain control over my feelings while ultimately accepting them. That’s maturity and responsibility. There’s no excuse to justify your harm with harm done to you in the past. If everyone thought that way reality would be hell.
Narcissists don’t “decide to hurt people” if you believe that then that’s misinformation. Congrats on not getting a personality disorder. You’re lucky. Honestly I’d rather be you than any “narcissist “ that may have affected you. (Thought they probably aren’t a narcissist, you just wanna blame your abuse on people like me. I experienced every type of abuse you can image, sexual, psychical, emotional. None of them by narcissists. You just want something to hate. If you actually knew suffering you’d have a PD) You’ll never know how good you have it. Id trade my life for yours in a second. Cluster b’s kill themselves at a 20.4% rate. You don’t know shit. You’re lucky how you live. But go cry yourself a river for fuckinh NOTHING. You’re pathetic. You have a life that isn’t plagued by suffering. You will never know what it’s like to live like us. Go deal with your own shit outside of us. Piss off with your misinformation
You revealing the truth about people with NPD is so positive and helpful for so many reasons. Thank you for becoming so self aware despite how unlikely it should have been and how hard it probably is. Thanks again. This video has really helped me.
One question: are you in analysis, as in psychoanalysis, this will help you IMMENSLY. Your degree of self awareness seem sufficient to me (student in psychology) to benefit from analysis with a psychoanalyst that treats narcissism. When people suffering from NPD heal, the world around them heals through the ripple effects and that includes victims. Well done for this challenge you have taken on. You are doing a great job at putting yourself out there!
Thank You for sharing this information. You are helping me understand why my mother and sister behave like they do. They have not been clinically diagnosed as NPD. They show many of the characteristics. They both would become angry and hostile whenever I rec'd attention or compliments. I did not understand what was happening. The nicer I was to them, they stepped up the insults. They would build each other up and tear me down so much that my self esteem took a hit for years. I am starting to understand why they do the things they do. Thank You for this informative video.
Its understandable you wouldn't want to expose yourself and tell others what you fear. Not everyone is trustworthy and they'll use it against you. However, its important to know not all people are cruel, malicious characters. Youre not weak at all. You've been exposed to such hatred as an innocent child, thats why youre conditioned to feel, think the way you do. Anyways, its rare they say for a narcissists to change. I believe it is possible if you really want to. Wishing YOU loads of love dude and wishing YOU can love deeply too. XXX
Thank you for this content. You said something that definitely got my attention. When an npd is not being abusive I believe most victims ignore any issues the person may have. Essentially, when the victim already suspects that something is out of the ordinary with their partner or they have gained information through platforms such ad this. However, even in my case, when I'm pleased with him or his actions I don't scream narcissist. It's only when the coin flips. I think that is very interesting. You mentioned vulnerability and it's difficult for narcissist to be vulnerable. In my experience, my husband has had vulnerable moments, especially when he was explaining something that happened during his childhood. He became very emotional. I believe that was genuine. Thank you for shining light on a topic that is deemed as hopeless and educating people to look at it from a different perspective.
Something is very wrong in this world when so many of us cannot feel comfortable just owning up to feeling weak or needy or pathetic etc every now and then. We know that these are all normal human feelings and that all feelings shall pass. So why we have to associate these negative feelings with shame is just ridiculous.
Omg I nodded when you said, everyone is abusive and will want to be exploitative of us. I’m still trying to determine if I or my partner have NPD as we both seem to have a lot of traits of it, and before therapy we used to have a Lot of power struggles, let our anger out on each other (verbally, emotionally).. now I’ve been through more therapy and he’s going through it I can tell but I still have to call him on his bullshit and sometimes hurtful passive aggressive comments as if he preemptively tries to hurt me before I get a chance to hurt him. Does that make sense? He does say I have the biggest most nurturing heart and I’ve heard that from others so maybe I’m an empathetic who’s reactive to the NPD? I dunno I barely wanted to talk about my partners behaviour in therapy cuz I’m scared of what the therapist will say but so far my therapist put a mirror back on my own behaviour that pushes other people’s boundaries. On another note, trauma bonding is real..
Thanks for these videos. Just spent the last two hours exploring NPD through this channel rather than the usual internet results. Thanks to these videos i can see others and even some of my own traits through a new more compassionate lens. That doesnt make the things i have suffered from other peoples narccistic traits ok, nor does it excuse some of the crap things i have done in the past but it certainly makes them more understandable. Much better presented than that old good/bad dynamic. Its much more complex than that 👍
I love your vulnerability! ❤ You have every right to talk about how you feel! I truly agree with everything that you said! I don't think it's fear that people just label narcissists as just some self-absorbed, selfish person who only care about themselves. I really do believe they do care about people that they are with. I also see their hearts and I think they all have good hearts sadly I don't think all girl narcissists have good hearts! It's soooo disheartening how truly cruel and evil they can be! I seriously still wish l the power to heal them all because I do believe it's not your fault that you have this disorder and you definitely wouldn't have ever chosen it like some of the videos on here think! 😌 You sincerely have a beautiful heart! ❤❤❤❤ Thank you so much for being sooo vulnerable and real! Seriously, that's even hard for a person without NPD to admit, especially to the world 🌎 So I know that wasn't easy for you to admit but please know it's not your fault! I had a narcissistic and an alcoholic father who I never got his attention, love, approval, and validation from, so my self-worth and self-esteem, especially in romantic relationships, have not been very good! So it's even hard for me to admit my insecurities, self-worth, and self-love issues! So, I truly admire your vulnerability to be able to share all of that with us. ❤🙏🏻🥰💕😇 What's really hurting me is that unfortunately, I've gone back to him so many times he doesn't respect me anymore. But this time, was a little different, this time he was really cutting me down and ignoring me my feelings so I know that he obviously found. another supply. Also because I gave him a very big narcissistic injury by telling him that he was lying to me, telling him that he wasn't being accountable for his actions. And I told him I was done and that I would never go back to him But usually he would still try to come back to me by just messaging me even though he's blocked on everything He was still able to leave me a voicemail message on my phone but this time he only left one message and now he's given up and it's been almost two days! I know it's the weekend now, so he probably already has a girl and has plans, so he won't contact me. Where before he'd reach out to me! I'm just having such a hard time! I'm just feeling so hurt and rejected! I would truly appreciate if you had any input on any of this, I would greatly appreciate it. I would gladly pay you for your advice because I just can't seem to get past the hurt right now and the rejection even though I know I shouldn't be viewing it like this! But I'm so used to him always coming back right away and this time it's not like that. I honestly knew even before we started fighting that he wanted to discard me because he was already devaluing me! It just hurts! 😢😢😢😢 He actually brought me over his family's house for me to meet his family and his mom said that hes never brought in a girl to the house before and he's never acted like this with any other girl before. I truly appreciate you soooo much! I'm so grateful and thankful for you. I look forward to hearing from you. God bless you, and I'm truly praying for you and praying that God does a quick and complete healing inside of you! ❤🙏🏻🥰💕😇❤️💖🙌🏼💟💘💯💯
Your absolutely right... I wish my ex was as mature and willing to be as open and discuss the true issues that we suffer from rather than the later. I don't think anybody can understand NPD unless has been personally experienced and that person is actually to a place in your life that you genuinely are seeking soft fulfillment and interpees and if you are in love with a narcissist or have ever been have a certain maturity about you that is going to not be about that he said she said and right and wrong outcome I'm genuinely you give anything see my ex in a place of seeking a better understanding of himself and the willingness to be vulnerable such as I'm listening to your videos and I'm Blown Away how but you must have grown to be in a place that you understand it's important for your own happiness to care about the way you treat your partner and how damaging narcissistic personality disorder can destroy
I have been a victim of narcissistic abuse for 10 years n one my healing journey You are not evil I hate all those narcissistic abuse experts saying what horrible people Narcissists are You are not horrible You are a human being n i hate to watch all those self aware Narcissists too posting videos for glorification I can see right through it This is the first time I have ever been inspired enough to post a comment DUDE keep it real You are helping more people than you realize I'm thankful I found you
Just started subscribing to get a bit of clarity. Im in love with my very recent ex who has all the symptoms of npd. My ex cheated and lied but i being extremely empathetic forgave him and took him back multiple times. He also called me names ,put me down,and neglected me emotionally. I still really love him but the pain of neglect and betrayal were too much to handle so i broke things off. He always said that I was the only one that saw under the mask he wore and loved him anyway. Im really struggling and watching all the videos on this type of disorder to be able to heal. understanding
13:29 "maybe i'm not the one to push this" you're one of the first i've encountered to describe the situation less as a victim being abused by a monster. I believe the message that NPD-diagnosed people are still human rings true independent of the fact that you've hurt people.
I greatly admire how openly you are sharing your POV. It's very helpful and been very validating to me to be reassured that I'm not misinterpreting what I've been experiencing the past few years. I don't think any person is a monster at their core, yet they have the capacity to seem like one to others. You're on the right path, thank you.
💯 your channel was what made me get over someone I never thought I could, and also pushed me to be more self reflective. The stigma videos just felt like cigarettes- unhealthy instant gratification that I knew was only making the problem worse.
My friend in the US, you won't believe it, but I know everything you won't tell me about your disorder you don't want me to know. But you told me in your video, what you didn't want me to know. Like you can see in this twisted sentence, I am able to think in your twisted way. I was supposed to become a cluster B, but it simply didn't stick on me. I was to resilient, I wanted to be, I wanted to live. I fucked them all off in early childhood and made friendship with reality and facts. That friend saved me. Reality no matter if it hurts. I was full of humor, I was a sad child, but allways with a smile. To survived I became a master to put on masks as well, but I knew where I came from, chose the right mask and turned back to the real me. I could feel, act and think like any clúster B, but that would be stupid hurtful to me and others. And exausting. What is left is a deap understanding. I had a best friend who is a narc, he thought I am a narc as well, cuz of my understanding. He opened up completly to me. It was rare that he attacked me with his narcissism and if so I could handle him with ease, it is so simple. I only had to give him some cheap security and he cooled down. He trusted me. He was right, I am a very good friend. I was the only friend he had. He needed me and became better and better. But to other people he was abusive and dangerous. I left Germany to South América and we didn't see each other for 5 years. On his visit here he was worse. Cluster B are so dramatic witch I am not, I could not manage him any longer in that sate he was at. And it was simply too much for me. At the end I let him escalate about a stupid thing without any intervención on my side. He drove away like a hurt princess and I let it be. In my healthy lifestyle with indios I became even a anti narc and so my tolerance was lowered for his disorder as well. The main point was I had to protect my friends here from his abusive behaviour. The indios did know in an blink of an eye what he was. They stopped loughing and joking around and their faces turned to stone. I wish to you happiness and joy. You have lost something what we can't find any more. It is you face, that's serious. Some only lost their legs. There is a lot of grieve that has to be done, you did too much. Now we need eyes without a face. We have do be grandious. We need people to talk about you like that: He is my very best friend, he has no face. He is my spouse the best on earth, I love him without a face, it is the way he makes me feel save. He is my father, my father has no face, I trust him. He is diagnosed with NPD. He is grandiouse he is fearless. All his life was a fight, but one day he started the real battle. He became a real person, he became the man of his unnarcessistic actions. That's his face he lost long time ago. The narc that created his new face. He is the man with sun glases without a name. Desde Sudamérica
I appreciate your honesty in all your videos! Your explanation of your experience as a person who has NPD helps others see even though this disorder is hurtful to you and others it is something people sometimes can be unaware of. They may know what they have done to others was wrong but never understood why. You yourself are courageous to even broach the issues you have experienced in life and share them here. I know someone with this disorder in my own family. Kudos to you for sharing this I feel it helps a lot more than hearing others bash other people with the disorder. I do feel each one has their own reality of how this will affect them personally. I am sure each person presents with different characteristics of the disorder and that might be why some people have had worse experiences with someone with NPD. After watching many of your videos in an attempt to try and understand someone I love who suffers from this I can't help but feel empathy. It seems they are trapped in their heads a lot and never get to experience true joy or happiness in the same way others can. The way of thinking in a person with NPD seems to keep them in a state of perpetual defense and to wear a mask all the time has to be exhausting! Thank you for putting this out there. I think you try to be very honest and you even talk about things you are ashamed of which shows you are aware and improving at least. I hope others who suffer from this can relate and get encouragement that they are not alone and become more aware of it themselves. Even though I have watched videos of actual doctors bashing this disorder I really don't think that is fair and to claim they can NEVER change is shortsighted.
Some of the things you say about masking and hiding who you are is so relatable.As an autist I mask my unacceptable behaviour .I have trouble with understanding my own emotions .I have cognitive empathy but not really emotional empathy .Tbf don't want really want to feel emotional emparhy its too much for me. I have been so misunderstood
13:05 When you guys/gals can tell us these things right before or as it's happening like a normal, I guarantee people would be more interested in listening. Wherever the abuse comes, you guys act like you don't remember anything while asking for understanding, i.e. Gaslighting. The vascillating emotions and moods mixed with child like blubbering communication really hurts the conversation. Especially when the narc is "feeling" the moment. I think therapy needs to focus on this key area. This is actually an important bridge to better communication. Victims of relationship abuse don't blame ourselves. We are angry and embarrassed that we allowed someone to treat us like trash and lie while they laugh at us while they do it. But you guys/gals can't take what yall do though and that is what is frustrating.
I agree that a pathological refusal to be vulnerable to avoid shame is a huge roadblock to honest communication. Sometimes makes it almost impossible to handle things properly in the moment. And I think active treatment is one of one of the only ways to actively combat that. It’s possible to reason when feelings > facts in any given moment and I can’t really envision anything other than treatment to work on that. I was definitely generalizing using (what I understand to be) a common trauma response, but that is interesting to me. I’m curious of how more people relate to a situation like that in post (Also I apologize if it came off like I was invalidating abuse/trauma in anyway. That 100% wasn’t the intent)
@@7venrashad Agreed! 😀 Also... Please research 'narcissitic personality disorder' (NPD) / 'cluster-B'; and know that they are the 'root of all evil' (especially 'ESFJ/ESTJ-narcissits'; Myers-Briggs reference, look it up)! European 'ESFJ' are the worst personality type, and they are responsible for inventing 'racism' and colonization! It is in their neuro-psychology!! The are extremely 'manipulative' and often use 'looking pretty' to distract others from the witch's mind-games / mind-rape, e.g. gaslighting, playing the victim or damsel in distress, creating 'flying-monkeys', and paying others to attack (or at times kill) someone for her. When caught, she will use her minions as scapegoats. European ESFJ are notorious for this especially in a racist context, e.g. Elliott Till. ISFP (and ESFP) are the most complicit, narcissitic-enablers. ISFP also tend to be 'oblivious-codependants' (look up the definition). SUMMARY: Evil personality: ESFJ, ESTJ [Secretly] Evil and narcissit-friendly gunts/flying-monkey: ISFP, ESFP. ☝️All of them are secretly emotionally-disturbed, hence their need to create conflict (and at other people's expense, truly evil). Spread the word! Thank you. ___________ #Save_Soil
@@7venrashad Btw, could you feel his "energy"? You need only 'look past his physical appearance' (as though looking right through him) to notice his 'dark' energy/aura! All narcissits give off this vibe! It feels diseased-like rabbis. 🐇🐍 Again, ESFJ-narcissits (so-called healthy ones are still narcissits and sociopaths), and ESTJ are the worst ones. ESFP and ISFP are also narcissits -what they ALL have in common is "zero 'humanity', and no emotional-empathy" as an 'instinct'. This makes them emotionally identify humans as OBJECTS, e.g. Android... Or a rock or spoon. Hence "apathy", complete indifference. Their existence is unstable for society. A build up will inevitably result in turning earth into "hell". I'm sure you can emotionally identify the difference between a rock and a human being. Well, narcissits and the aforementioned evil/"CORRUPTIBLE" personality types are naturally apathetic towards people. They view them as objects and ofc threat them as such.
I've looked at this a little differently. After having been in two relationships in my lifetime and both partners being narcissistic (one diagnosed and one with bi-polar). I've had to ("blame myself") reflect on (went through lots of therapy) to figure out that I've had zero boundaries in relationships. I've had to look at myself and figure out why I date and attract these people. It hasn't been easy. So. As "victims" we do have to take accountability, even if we think we've been fooled or tricked. This has helped me move on. It's taught me a lot about myself. Totally agree about the other channels that vilify narcissists and others with personality disorders. Those channels are not helpful at all. It's almost like, "Hey you, empathetic little buttercup, you're not a complete fucking moron, I swear, you were just drinking the devils jizz.". The point is, we need to stop waiting for others to take accountability and be accountable for our own selves and stop trying to control the outcome of these situations.
I think avoiding emotional connection/intimacy is a way to not allow yourself to need another person since fear of rejection and abandonment are so severe when someone has NPD.
So while watching this I can now understand how I end up in relationships with narcs. Because I can see that this guy does feel things, but the switch in his head is what blocks the ability to process. At time stamp 13 until the end he's a likeable guy because I think from time to time I myself like to be the asshole and it can be hilarious. Like when you run into a Karen, Chad or a Kevin and you totally block there bs, feels amazing!!! Then dude says take your fuckin meds, awesome 😎. I think I get it from trauma bonding so much. It's like having these conversations out loud it starts to make more sense.
You should do one-on-ones to answer/ verify people’s questions who have dealt with narcissists. There are other self aware narcs who do this and make money from it while helping others understand their experiences more. Two of the narcs that do this are Mental Healness and Raw Motivations.
@@Thenamelessnarcissist tbh I just think you need to be able to answer one question that most ppl will ask, was the person I was with a npd or bpd by the things and descriptions of what went on in their relationship, this is the one thing that ppl are not 100 percent sure of even after watching all the videos, I know that I think I would find it much easier if somone who has npd could qualify it because I feel like most ppl are worried that they might have got it wrong in their own conclusions
HAHA oh I love me a good empath joke. But yeah you think it wouldn’t be hard to convince people that people suffering from mental health conditions are demons but oh well lmao
What do you think about Andrew Tate? I think he must also have a huge NPD amongst other disorders, for sure. My dad was also a violent npd like yours and I turned out to be BPD and thank god I'm getting better each year that goes by :) you are very aware and it's a huge compliment people telling you it doesn't show at all! I have so many narcisists friends and exes, you guys do have some super powers I think, but yes it's so important to be aware in order to keep people. But rememer you are special even without your disorder
I wonder if it’s a processing thing. I could sense his thoughts and feelings I situations, usually social. As long as he could control the scene, he could process the situation. Perhaps there was something he couldn’t process as a child and spent his life manipulating people so that he could re-enact the situation and have the chance to control the outcome as his child-self wished things had turned out.
A person can can also develop the disorder from being pedestalized by their parent(s) as it avoids reality and does not allow for separation and individualized or learning how to emotionally tolerate reality.
BPD are monsters!? LOl. We actually have empathy so we see YOU guys that way. :P. Also cause narcs are constantly deliberately TRYING to set us off which is fucking rude and annoying. I think we need to have a chat on your channel cause it would be a cool discussion :). Neurotypicals hate both of us hahaha. BTW meant no hate to you as I love this channel. It's been enlightening and helped me to devalue my ex which I needed to do to move on.
"I can ONLY have NPD when I'm being an asshole, I guess." Yes, it's frustrating AF. In the past I've shown them after having my feelings dismissed then tossed them in the garbage. Opening up to something so damaging, exposing our own shame, takes courage. When not being believed and the childhood trigger hits, that's when the punishments would start. I'm a lot more understanding now. HAHA
Literally vulnerability is the hardest things for us to do, and sharing our (very very stigmatized) Mental illness is usually a huge step towards healing and being more vulnerable. And it just gets thrown in the trash LOL
People with NPD are all somewhat different and there is a spectrum. And some are a hybrid of psychopathy and narcissism. They can be very dangerous and people should realize that. Not all clinicians agree that everyone with narcissism are suffering.
Just because you hurt people to protect yourself doesn’t make you less deserving of malice. The way I see some of your explanation as gaslighting and excuses is because, no one deserves to be hurt by you bc you feel unsafe. You deserve to heal your self and treat others with respect. Everyone who’s harmed by narcissist including me has the right to call out the tragedy that it is, regardless of their true motivations. I will never say, my moms not that bad of a person after punching me in the eye bc she was scared. Her fear was borderline irrational and what she did was monstrous. As a child I couldn’t understand nor should I have to.
You’re a worse person than any narcissist who may have affected you. All your comments point to that. You may be more a narcissist than me cause you can’t see how toxic you are
I do rather like the idea of diagnosing PDs on a basis of subjective suffering as a result. It would be so nice if that's how these disorders were-- hang on, you mean we DON'T diagnose people for going full asshat? Ha! It's almost as if these mental health professionals know what they're doing! XD Control has always been PARAMOUNT in my life since age 6, I would say. I was raised with this belief by my late grandmother, who was infamous for being a "control freak". I have tried not to screw with the behaviors of others too much until the most recent four years or so (about the time grandma died, huh...) vastly preferring to control myself and what I own and what is within my tiny bubble of "I can do whatever I damn well please". The A8 attachment style of Externally Assembled Self is strong in my life. Other people are witnesses to my being and are recording devices of my behavior, so I am stretching myself thin trying to look presentable. I guess I'm doing fine since I haven't been run out of town for my scruffy facial hair moments. I am measured in the information I share with others, emphasizing certain details to distract from the weak points. I talk a lot and say little for good reason. Also, when it comes to stigmas and stereotypes, there is always a nugget of truth in there, and that little nugget of truth is what makes these descriptions much more dangerous than outright lies. If you curate enough facts in a strategic way, omitting or downplaying facts contrary to the narrative, it can have a crippling effect on the image of the target. This magnitude of effect is why I find it such a high crime to be accused or insulted - I may know the point of the message is false, but the word is still out and my reputation is stained because of it. Oh, this is Freddie by the way!
I don't agree with you on part of this. There are those of us who wanted to help our narcissist because could truly understand how they were hurting from their previous events in life. The problem with it is that no matter how hard we tried, we were pushed farther and farther away because of the way the other perceived our help.
So Sam Vaknin says people with NPD are predators, I don’t feel that language is helpful. I said some things I deeply regret recently to someone I care about because of SV, it just feels like he is doing the black & white thinking thing himself in his own analysis.
Yes Sam somehow doesn’t sit right with me. He doesn’t seem as self aware as this guy to me. I think the nameless narcissist has a decent understanding of healthy framework of life and how to treat others even though he has an extremely hard time applying it. Sam seems very self righteous and doesn’t connect with me on a level of emotional health. It’s like he is explaining his own issues very deeply but he’s not applying that to any healthy emotional framework. He is interesting and I hope he is well but I dont connect with Sams videos like I do with Nameless Narcissist.
It’s all sad and stuff. But if a narcissist doesn’t do anything about it there’s no point in having a relationship with him(her). You can always pity sb and sympathise with sb from a distance. This sad childhood story doesn’t make anyone obliged to be in a relationship with a narcissist.
@@Thenamelessnarcissist my comment is not for you, it’s for those who may think after watching the video that maybe they should go back to their narcissists cause they’re so miserable and they had an awful childhood.
The way HG Tudor describes Narcissism is almost comical. It’s overly dramatic and grandiose, but more importantly, it’s disingenuous as fuck. He basically says majority of narcissists are impulsive, unaware and weak, while he’s godlike and all powerful. He’s just after money, mainly targeting victims of abuse, who may not even be abused by a pathological narcissist.
FUCKING RIGHT!!! I had a video shit talking him at one point but it blew up and got alot of hate so I took it down. I have never seen someone so caught up in grandiosity. "ultra" my ass. He's a fucking loser, if an ultra really was a thing they's be running a country LOL
I'd say the majority would be unaware. Lack of insight is a big part of the problem. It's also a very human problem, regardless of whether a personal disorder is present or not.
My ex told me he was “ broken “ and that me loving him was to good to be true and I didn’t believe him thought it was bullshit because he could never be vulnerable
