How It Feels To Be A 44-Year-Old Teenager! ( Being an Older Trans Male ) 

Finn, Happy 6 months. As for being a 44 year old teenager I totally understand, I am a 54 year old teenager, again thank you for giving me the courage to start my transitioning at my age. As for not getting to go out and sow your oats think of it this way, lots of people find their one and only when they are a teenager and never date anyone else. So, you have found your true love as a teenager and don't need to look around and go through all the hassle of dates and waiting to Mr. Right, cause you already have. I found my one and only in 1991 then had to wait 6 years before I got to date her then I had to wait another 20 years before she would finally admit that she had always loved me and wanted to be with me because her family would never have approved of me. And no they don't. But she finally didn't care and just wanted to be happy and be with me. Now , I will be celebrating my 2nd wedding anniversary in March and my 1 year on T anniversary in April. So, I to don't get to go out and sow my wild oats as a teenage man either. Like you I get to stay at home and snuggle with the one I love. Trust me when I say it's not bad at all to be in pur positions. Again congratulations to you and Chris, and thank you so much for showing me that a person is never to old to transition . Love to your mum, I hope she is doing well. And I look forward to your April video of you moving in with Chris. Love and hugs to my hero !! Thanks, Liam

I am so happy for you two!! I agree that it is difficult to transition later in life, I came out when I was 36 (thanks to your videos). I'm only 2 years into it and it is a real eye opening experience for myself and my family, my partner especially. I'm thankful that he and I had been together for 16 years before I came out and we had a very firm foundation in our relationship. I am like a teenager all over again as well and he just laughs about it. My almost 16 year old son thinks it's great that his dad and him are basically the same age mentally. Lol we have loads of fun together.

"My penis is younger than I am." I laughed so loud I woke up my cat. You're a delight and I'm thrilled things are going well for you and Chris.

OMG only 6 months?! This may sound weird, because I've followed you for years, but it's like Chris has always been there.. he's definitely your lobster and it's lovely to see how sweet,grownup and honest your relationship is. X

So happy you have decided to share the deep feelings that come with transitioning and relationships. I love seeing photos of you guys on IG so much. Congratulations on 6 months!

Great video Finn, it's lovely to hear you speak so eloquently and about an extremely interesting topic! While watching your video I was thinking how many gay cis men who come out later in life might relate to your experience of not living their lives the way they want to until an older age, and having all these new experiences with dating, relationships, their bodies, etc. Loved the video!!

My god it's already 6 months ! I pray you both stay together and have a life full of happiness and love. And also wish good health for your mom :*

Awww you and Chris are SO ADORABLE! Happy 6 months!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉 You seems so content, it’s really nice to see!

Thank you for being so honest and helpful. I am 46 going on 47 and haven't started T yet. I am working on my weight currently, having lost 62 pounds so far with about 100 to 110 to go to be happy, healthy, and able to do what I need to feel whole. I appreciate all the brave people willing to share that are FTM trans like me and gay men which really does help me since I am only attracted to men. I have no support from family, but I am ok with this. I came out last year and I feel so much better now that I have. It is so great I am not alone in this journey and seeing happy people who get their dreams makes this feel so right.

CONGRATS on 6!!! I can relate a lot. I am 45 almost 46 & I have been on T for 29 months now. Everything is new & full of surprises!!! Then we start thinking like teenagers. Let's do this & this :-) Then we are pulled back to our age. I think what if, all the time myself!! Glad that you are so HAPPY!! Much Love to you Brother, your Family & Chris!!!!!

I can't pinpoint it, but this video is exactly what I needed today, so thanks

I'm 41 and just started testosterone about six weeks ago. It's so nice to find someone to relate to that's in my own age bracket. Thanks so much!!!

I started testosterone at 13 and now I'm 17. This video is really eye opening for how blessed I am to be in my situation. All of what you've said has really described what my life feels like. I've dealt with codependency and genetically I'm predisposed to substance abuse. Its really comforting to see you on your journey and the way our path is similar.

Congrats on everything! Its nice to see a mature person transition. Thank you! I needed to see this.

You have come such a long way Finn and your relationship with Chris truly is a gift to embrace, enjoy it

Even 4 years later, as a trans man who is LITERALLY just coming to terms with being gay, and having some similar issues... thank you. I appreciate all of these stories from you. It's helping me keep calm.

I hope you know what a bloody brilliant person you are....All the things you have been through have made you this lovely soul that I see and I am sure everyone else sees... Im the same age as you, I haven't got a sodding clue whats going on most of the time in my life, I stayed single after an awful relationship and in a blink of an eye 17 years has past. I love my own space and time and I really have no idea how if i ever did find someone, Id be able to change the mindset I have now. You have taught me that It is possible to want to be wanted and dip my toes in the dating water........... You just keep doing what you are doing, Keep being you, because you my friend have been on an incredible journey and it might be bumpy sometimes, but i just have this feeling that what is meant to be, will be a great future for you. Thank You for all you do and your honestly. It is so inspiring and helpful.

I'm 23 but I relate to so much of this video it's crazy! Thanks for your continued content it's great and your honesty and outlook is greatly appreciated!

Nice to see this (a bit late to the party). I am 40 now. I had no idea FTM was even a thing till I saw it on Shameless a few years ago. Even then I didn't think it would be possible for me. I've known I should have been a boy since the age of 5. It has been 35 years of depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts. Bad attempts at being "normal". Hated every minute of being alive as a woman. I cannot wait to start my journey as a man. When I came out to my social worker / therapist, I was so damn happy. I haven't been so happy or excited in a long long time.

Thank you so much for this. I really feel you on coming to terms with the grief. I needed that today, thank you. And congratulations on 6 months! 💖

I love your vlogs so much! I'm 39, started transitioning 2 months ago and I'm gay too. There are not that many role models openly discussing things that I relate to. You're a life line!

This is awesome. Being 55, I totally understand this. I am not dealing with sobriety issues, but the rest of it, I get. My big issues have been how to be the loving man and partner I know I can be, but while dealing with all the internalized rage that comes from having had a very, sexist, angry, scary father, and a hostory of child sexual abuse. All my life, I worked at resolving the stuff about these things. But I never dealt with the anger about it. It was never as accessible to me as it is now, since I started the T and now identify as a straight male with the father I had as my earliest role model. It is amazing how we internalize stuff at such a young age, how that goes dormant until you become the same gender as that parent. It makes juggling a relationship very difficult. I also have been mourning the things I too wish I could have had if I had transitioned sooner, like my health, and especially my mother, who was my best friend, but who passed 4 years before I started my transition. So, I do get some of thtat. Anyway, thank you for your candor. You’re awesome. Thomas

CONGRATS ON 6 MONTHS!!! I hear you on being a 44 year old teenager, I'm about halfway through my "second puberty" lol! So good to see you again and posting, I've been on "thanksgiving survival mode" haha What really makes me laugh is my name is Chris, and I'm dating a pure Finlander! so to me Chris and Finn has a different meaning but still makes me smile at the ...meaning of it? I am 41, so I can empathize.

First off. Love the sheep! Also, 43 here, about to start T! Looking forward to it. But nice to see other trans peeps around my age. =)

as a 16 year old trans guy who has started hormones recently, i can confirm sex drive is high, but relationships and navigating that whole scene is still very very difficult. Its frustrating knowing i cant do and have certain things because of my transness, and all the shit and dysphoria that comes along with it, but i am also meggaaa grateful i am able to have transitioned at a young age. I guess theres always going to be bumps in the road, no matter when or how we transition, but we just have to make the best of it, which by the looks of you and chris you definatley are!!! I really look up to you Finn, your attitude towards things helps me to take a step back when things get hectic and be reminded although medical transition is incredibly important, when things go wrong or proffesionals and refferals get messed up, its not a race.

Hey Finn I just wanted to say thank you for your top surgery vids, they were incredibly helpful for me...I’m actually commenting the morning after getting mine done, and I feel great, especially knowing I’m all prepared for after care and all that thanks to you, you’re a star x

Thank you Finn. And congrats on your boyfriend :-D I struggle with these issues myself. Transitioned 3 yrs ago at 31, I still look 22 and I feel kinda 17. And I'm a bit scared of the other gay men, coz they seem so confident and cis and big dicked. It is nice and reassuring to follow you. And see you gain love and success in your life.

Oh Finn, I just adore you! Some thought's/advise/observations to be taken or discarded as you will. BREATH! I know sometimes things can be so overwhelming and scary that it feels like you are slipping away or drowning, just remember to breathe. It will be fine. Honest. The best advise I ever received from my Mum when I was considering if a relationship was really serious or not, was, to think of three things, small things, the other person does, like forget's to put the cap back on the tooth-paste or leaves spoons out, you get the idea, and ask yourself if you can HONESTLY live with those for the rest of your life and not go bonkers trying to change the other person. I have faith in you and your heart. Hope you and Chris had a lovely holiday and come back with many stories! squidges. . .

Very similar here, Finn. 25 years old and 3 years into my transition. Sending love and hugs. Appreciate your self awareness ♥️

Almost 42 here and I know I don't have life figured all out as a cis identifying person. Don't be hard on yourself for thinking at your age you should have it all figured out. You probably have a more solid idea of who you are, what you want, etc than most people. Safe travels and have a fabulous time away!

I’m truly so happy for you. I wish you and your partner a happy 2019 🌹

It is great to see how happy & together you are! Love watching these videos because you can see all the growth you have done & how different, in a great way you life has become! Keep up the awesome attitude & all the best moving into the new year!! ❤️

I hear where you're coming from and know what you mean about waking up. In my experience, I think each person on the planet has an awakening stage at some point in their adulthood, no matter what they identify as.. and some people just don't even think that they need to wake up, they just keep creating the same experiences that they always have done. We all have dysfunctions that we are working through, getting in order, or learning to accept because no one's perfect. I'm sure that Chris has so many things that he still wants to learn and discover as well, they are probably just things that are unique to him. The good thing about healthy relationships is that they involve patience, genuine love for the other person, wanting to find a way for the other person to get their needs met, as well as your own. You both have really good communication skills and that's really the main thing, along with love, respect, and understanding, where you can equally teach each other who you are and what your needs are. I've always found that if it doesn't look as though a goal can be fully be met, then showing an honest love and compassion toward trying to negotiate the very best next alternate outcome where all parties are comfortable and satisfied is the highest loving compromise. Sometimes a solution can be identified quickly, and sometimes there is no time limit, it just takes as long as its going to take because that's what is needed at that time. Chris is amazing. He's a big kid like you, with a wise and loving heart. Sending lots of love and wishing you guys all the very best xxx

Communication is definitely the key. As long as you can talk through stuff y'all should be good. :)

Oh my goodness, I'm 58, my husband is 65, and we are still learning about each other, negotiating, compromising and talking! If you are lucky enough to find someone you love and he loves you back, and you meet as equals, it is so worth working out the details. There is never a perfect scenario where you meet all of each other's needs and wants, but the journey of discovery, and accepting the tough bits as well as the easy bits is a wonderful one. Keep talking, and keep laughing!

Oi I know I’m quite late to commenting, but wanted to pop in and say hi. I feel like I missed out on dating completely due to the hand I was dealt. It was (is) too much for me to both date someone and sleep with them. The anxiety of a partner seeing me, their boyfriend, naked… it’s too much. Plus also a similar story with drugs & alcohol. My favorite drugs were the ones that killed my sex drive, see… Aaaanyway - I’m doing some research on the procedure. Been on T for 15 years, since secondary school… maybe due to me t age & financial dependence when I did the most research, bottom surgery was always in my head that it was too expensive or I’d never have time for it… but I finally am realizing it’s feasible and god damn I want to start as soon as possible. I really appreciate you took the time to go thru your experience with this.

Just keep doing what you are both doing, remain honest, talk and don't be embarrassed about the feelings. You don't need sex to be physical, massages are AMAZING for connecting you to each other. My husband was a virgin when we became and item and he was terrified (he was 37) but we talked and tested the water slowly. It's amazing how close you can get when you are taking it slowly. Enjoy your holibobs both of you xx

My dear Finn.....6 months with Chris....congrats!!!! So...much news! You’re going to live with Chris in a new flat! Your life is really a path full of new things! Dear Finn, I kniw you are a bit scared about that, you’ve explained so well everything and you are right. It’s not a small thing this changment: living togheter involvs risks but also joy! And it’s worth. You’ve always well handled everything in your life so.............if your happyness is more than fears when you think about that, do it and be pisitive!!! We all love you!!! A big big kiss!!!! 😘💋❤️

Aww happy 6 months to you and Chris! I'm 36 yr old teen guy, so I hear you on that. My boyfriend is cis and our sex drives are very different lol! But he's a sweet guy like Chris. Hope you 2 have a lovely time at aceventura ❤️

I like your shirt in this video. The story/message was good too 👍🏽💙

Always Finn to watch your videos. You were 37 when you transitioned, I'm 34 now but not financially independent d/t Schizophrenia so with parents who don't understand I will likely be in my 50's when I transition.

I'm so happy for u and Chris ur doing great babe. And I totally understand feeling a teenager but older body it's exciting for the new changes but it is a lot to take in a lot to get used to I'm only 2 and 1/2 years about

I did my completed transition by 23 and I am now 64. Been male all of my life yet how often I wish that I would have had a normal highschool life, with family that backed me in sports and all that adolescences brings with it. Unfortunately I never had that and you cannot help but feel cheated.

I am so happy for you . You deserve to be happy .

This American fan is soooooooo happy for you

Hi Finn, Great video. I don’t know under which video to ask this question, but did you have a good relationship with your Dad and how has your relationship with him infuenced you as a man?

I relate to you tons.

I understand and hope th best for you two...

Have a great holiday!

Also, looove the tshirt.

You two are so cute together! ♥️

When did you start your Transition? Which age?

Lol.Welcome to the mid life crisis. I married at 19 . 3 children by 24 didn't have time for clubbing etc. divorced at 30 accepted my gay self..Felt same that I'd missed "growing up wild oats" side of life.eventually got into a relationship Realised that I hadn't missed anything just taken a different route.10 years later he died .Started dating again Arrrhhh. Dating had moved on .very different now. Too old for clubbing.pubs no longer an option.Grasped the internet kicking screaming and swearing.Found a great guy.A lot of give and take and compromising but Never giving up or losing myself have enjoyed and been blessed so far for 14 years. OK depression creeps in from time to time regrets disappointments self hate for not realising I was gay and perhaps ruining my wife and childrens happiness but like mine their lives has continued. So why am I waffling on?Well I think just to say It's not about being Gay Trans straight or anything else(sky blue pink) It's about life growing old dis gracefully finding Love accepting each other as separate individuals sharing growing laughing and crying together making little and BIG mistakes sulking arguing more crying cuddling kissing TALKING realising that in the complicated journey of love and life that it's these episodes that bring you deeper and emotionally closer with each other and the universe. It's great that you have such an awareness of your feelings emotions and sex drive and that You and the very lovely Chris can talk to each other Feeling the need to sow wild oats and actually HAVING TO are different when you are in a relationship(is a bit of sexual gratification for 2 mins worth risking or gambling a possible lifetime of love and friendship for ?) First holiday together? Realising you both poo fart and snore and have found each other to share even that side of life with is a revelation and a comfort to relax into knowing that IN SICKNESS AND HEALTH is a very deep real and very rewarding truth of Love. Have a great time .Don't worry about Mum .She would be the first to tell you that you must let go and let God.( No co dependency for her either) ,Love you lots Finn.

❤️❤️❤️

If y r 100% sure...

13:20 F-where-te-ben-too-ra. As good a pronunciation guide as I can type

‘buT’

finn please find me on face book you friend and blakes friend

Ah, I wanted to shout ‘just move in, it’s all ok’ at you xxx