How Narcissists Control With Negativity 

It's hard to put into words that sinking feeling you'd get when their negative comments began to fly.

Everything you do is either not enough or its WRONG. You lose confidence in yourself, stop trying to be better, hide your smile and therefore are well controlled. That pretty much paints the picture. I have to always be conscious of this, regroup and refresh. Mindfulness is key.

Once you stop seeking the narcissist's validation all their games end because the narcissist loses control over you.

The overt narcissist becomes easy to spot, but the covert narcissist can be quite difficult to recognize and in the end upset your equilibrium even more. “ people may not recall exactly what you said but they will remember exactly how you made them feel.” Eventually you realize the covert narcissist is consistently trying to make you feel inferior with subtle condescending comments and secret comments to others. Then it’s time to walk away, forever.

The negativity is oppressive. I choose to reject and rise above it.🌅 Thank you for addressing it today.

Their negativity is that overwhelming that you can end up doubting your own name. You go along with the narrative for a supposedly quiet life. But, is it really?! 🤷‍♀️

This was my mother ... my ex ... my former father-in-law. They are all completely cut out of my life now. My life has improved exponentially. My bad experiences with these malignant clowns gave me an in-depth training program in spotting and deflecting these types, with a lot of help from Dr. C and other professional's instruction. It is ironic that they way they treat others results in exactly what they don't want -> being cut off and disrespected. I have zero sympathy for any of their bad back stories. There are many, many people with bad back stories who are not nasty, mean and manipulative. Instead they are kind and loving, not wanting others to experience what they went through. The narcissist makes a choice to be nasty and it is the wrong choice. It is on them.

Some people are in such utter darkness that they will burn you just to see a light. (Kamand Kojouri)

It's like you're always waiting for the other shoe to drop because their negativity constantly keeps you on edge. You never know what's going to set them off or how intense their rage will actually get. And there's no point in trying to get them to see your side of things! Narcissistic people love the down side of everything. I think it makes them feel better about themselves if they can make you feel worse than they do.

I drive 90 miles to be attacked on holidays for being a success.

I think Bob Dylan pegged it when he wrote: "I gave her my heart but she wanted my soul" 💜🐾

I always look them straight in the eye & say “ I’m so not you “ and just walk away in silence. It usually shuts them down fast

On my walk today. Met a man walking his dog. We had a nice 10 minute discussion about mushrooms and SLUGS! Way more fun than 10 lost with my narc.😂

Narcissist negativity is a force behind our control, self control is the best control!

They delight at anything they can say or do to hurt those they deem as their enemy, which usually involves the ones they should be showing only love. It’s on a totally evil level. The suffering and unhappiness of others is what they live for. The quest for revenge is never ending.

This is a form of bullying. I had a manager who wanted me to speak up at meetings, but my input had to agree with their plans, when it didn't they would do subtle bullying until I had to resign.

Its funny how he narc often blames you for being the negative one.

I have felt embarrassed and stupid for so long. Thank you for helping me understand that this was projected and not truth and why it was like this. ❤

I find that they use "praise" as well as insults. Such as "I'm so proud of you" or "good for YOU." Condescending as hell. I'd rather be insulted.

Their negativity can reach you in different ways, especially when you are unguarded: 1. Spiritual attack 2. Verbal attack 3. Emotional attack 4. Physical attack 1. You can feel their rotten, very dark core all the time if you are sensitive enough and sometimes they use a spiritual attack on you to threaten you and put you into place which feels very scary. 2. They are masters at verbal attacks for they can use words like nobody else in such a dislogic way that when they tell you 1+1=3 you might believe it. 3. Emotional attacks they use masterly by putting you up and down for this gives them their needed supply of filling their emptiness and giving them short term relief to regulate their feelings. 4. When they feel deeply threatened, they might rage out of a sudden to harm you physically.

How are some of us still here?! The absolute disgusting behavior they can inflict can result in suicidal thinking! After years and years I have developed mental toughness, but still the evilness gets in my head! Dr, you hit things so on the nail of the head it's amazing! Thank you!

I’m trying to detach from the negativity, the lack of respect and the gratuitous put-downs - rationally I know what they say is not true and that it’s their problem, not mine. But I admit that it’s a struggle sometimes! We have different motivations for every interaction. I want healthy supportive communication and they want control.

Always watch their expressions instead of listening to their words.

Right on! I've sure experienced this form of projection and rejection. What a relief to move on and stop trying to make sense of the crazy making behavior and playing the placating roles to maintain the relationship.

It’s nothing more than projection AND displacement of their own insecurities and weakness and misery because of their inner core shame and inner self loathing (hatred)

That is so true. Narcissists accuse others of negativity-especially when they get criticized.

I spend so much time alone that the last time I was around a narcissist who wouldn't shut up with their many complaints, I blew up and said, "does ANYTHING make you happy?? What don't you complain about?" It was jarring to be around someone like that. If I shared a funny anecdote, they'd mock it. Online, if I shared some music with them, the first thing back from them would be, "I hate that type of music." The last straw was when he sent me a random "joke" and when I asked "what's that about?" referring to, how does that relate to what we were talking about. He replied, "read it slowly." I then had to ask, "why read it slowly?" He then passive aggressively said that I "didn't get the joke" and he was telling me to "read it slowly." I had to use a lot of energy to then explain that when I asked "why read it slowly?" that I was asking if there was some extra joke by reading it slowly such as word play. Nope, he was genuinely being nasty and trying to put me down as if I was "slow" and needed to "read it slowly to get the joke." Vile. I've written him off because I'm tired of that nonsense. It's hurtful, especially coming from someone you consider a friend.

I've been in a relationship with a narcissist for 4yrs (we did not live together) Until a few months ago, I didn't realize that this man is a narcissist, despite many signs from the beginning. I've been chronically ill since we met, but have been bedridden & disabled because of my health condition for almost a year. He has used this against me in the most cruel ways, including manipulation of my medical appointments & care. There was continual reminders to me that I am no longer the enjoyable person I used to be and always implications that I was a burden. It was very confusing, as I've never been this close to someone with a complete lack of empathy. It was difficult to make the decision to go no contact, but it's been over a month & I'm very secure in my decision. I will not fight his ridicule & anger while I'm fighting for my life. Your videos have made such a positive impact on me while I'm staying committed to my own dignity. Thank you so much.

Initially it was difficult to go no contact toward my parents upon advice from my Psychologist. Mother and sister were narcissists, I was the scapegoat and father was enabler. A couple of years later, it feels like I have been reborn and I am truly blessed. Life is so much better without them and every day seems to bring new opportunities.

Yep, they think it helps them release negative energy to unload it

This is one of the most important videos of Dr Les Carter’s that I have watched. Explains so much about my life, my childhood, and the people I have met and partners I have had since my childhood. I could never understand why it was happening why when I came with all of my positivity I will get this negative pushback or put down. I would just get completely confused and baffled as to why it was happening but now I know it’s purpose is to control me and make me weak and small. Thank you so much Les, again you are a lifesaver and I am so blessed to have you in my life and to be on team healthy with you and the rest of the Community. Sending Gus a big hug and kiss. And with much appreciation to your wife for all of the energy that you give us.

To this day, when I express an idea or a wish to do something, I absolutely hate the response: "Don't get your hopes up." Too many times, I would hear that from my mother and that would put an end to my child-like ideas...sad.

So true, Dr C. When you were explaining their behavior, it really sent a shiver down my back. That's exactly it! They won't communicate with you (because they don't want to) but they expect you to just agree with them no matter what and when you don't, they try and cut you down and cut you off. For those of us who truly want to have a mature, healthy relationship with an intention of learning together and supporting each other, it can be tremendously hurtful. I suppose that is exactly their objective. It becomes less about their behavior and more about wanting to explore healthy relationships and to expand a greater sense of what it means to be in them, which means to me, be honest about who you are, but be equally honest with those you surround yourself with. Not everyone is capable of a healthy relationship. Thank you! Happy Saturday!

The catch-22 with a narc is that, despite them thinking of themselves as full of good ideas, some of their ideas are so bad, that anyone with a heart feels compelled to speak up to warn them away from something that is ultimately self-destructive - and then they label you the negative one!

My optimism always ends up in me thinking I am gullible and an embarrassment and I am neither despite my feelings.

Even years after leaving him, I am still thinking about writing the address on the envelope " properly" as I was doing "it all wrong". Or when I wear my favorite skirt and it shows some leg in the wind, I hear his voice hiw disgusting I am for showing myself in public. Emotional abuse is worse than physical abuse... the insults stay with you forever.

My late stepfather was very negative towards me. Everything I did was not good enough or wrong. I confronted him about it and set boundaries with him.

Mine knew me well enough that since I was always striving to do/be better, using negativity to constantly point out flaws/faults (even projected ones) would either push me to try harder (to make me think I should do exactly what they want me to do), or bewilder me through gaslighting (where I question my own reality and therefore must trust them more).

I definitely know what negativity is all about. I had to go no contact because the negativity and rude comments were too much. Just like a black aura when they walk in the room. They enjoy every minute of it because they control the room.

It took a long time to learn these things. Married 51 yrs. Me devoted, him not. Once you learn these things about your 'better half', leave! Don't waste your time when theres someone out there that really cares & knows what love is.

I have 30+ years marriage. Last few years was forced to work in another part of country, and therefore go back every week or fortnight. So can really feel what it is like not to be surrounded by my hubby's negativity. I can actually be happy in myself. So the forced job change was a blessing in disguise.

"Where never was heard an encouraging word and the sky was just cloudy all day." (apologies to Home on the Range)

Toxic people don't like it when others see through them, so they'll do all they can to make everyone else look like a monster. (Nitya Prakash)

Negativity = fishing for a response/information Don't bite

This was my late MIL. NOTHING was ever good. Nothing made her happy.

If they see you happy, which of course we all know we have to try and stifle our emotions in front of these people…they kill have to crush it, they cannot see you happy. It’s like it literally pins them to see life going good for you.

What do you do when they make any situation difficult/negative so that they can then play the victim? To instill guilt and false sympathy for them from the very person they are gaslighting????!!!!

I was so TOTALLY controlled by narcissists since I was a child by my older siblings, then by my own daughter when she grew up once she realized how easy it was for others to control me. It has taken me MANY years to understand who they really are. Interacting with them, I was always left feeling disrespected and unloved. And they tell you it's you and I believed them so I was so confused and hurt. God has shown me many things over the yrs and listening to your videos has also helped me a lot. With each of your videos I get a few more pieces to this puzzle of how they operate and control people. Thank-you, Dr. Carter for your videos. Now the hurt is gone and I can deal with them objectively because I know now who they are.

The thing that I never really saw is the gaslighting. The gaslighting was directed at my actions. You are treating me different from this person, you did this and it was your fault without me even being there. Some how or another whatever was wrong was my fault. It became so absurd it became a little comical. There was never any compromise. I'm out and on team healthy now.

This is so true! It explains my narcissistic dad's actions. It also explains why I grew up not feeling loved by my parents.

This was exactly the words the Narc used in the last discard…you are an “embarrassment”…”I’m blocking you”…my response “same”. Walking away and not looking back!!! I love myself too much!!! This person will never have the love I need, want and deserve. I will keep working on healing my self love deficit and practice higher levels of self care. 😊

Truly narcissists are out to destroy you 🤦‍♀️ if they cannot completely control you 🤷‍♀️ distrust & passive aggression is a very unhealthy combo 👩 get out fast

Yes. They will definitely try it. I just try not to respond or disengage from them all together if I can. I refuse to give them the satisfaction of letting them reel me in. I just just simply refuse it in JESUS' NAME. AMEN. 💜💛❤️

I see a really cute dog on the couch. They can argue with a tree stump” lol that is so true One early sign of a narcissist is they will pre-judge you very early in the relationship if you feel that that’s what you’re dealing with -get out

Then you have the covert style: so critical towards you and simultaneously praising you to your surroundings about the very same things! Crazy making 😢

Sadly, this was my late mother. She was always critical of me as a child. I’m different so she would taunt me by calling me “Priscilla” at times. She told me, “you weren’t very good” when I played hockey which crushed me. I think she only told me she loved me once or twice in her entire life. She once said to me, “where did I get you from?” . I angrily replied by asking her the same. I honestly think my relationship with her explains why I don’t care for females in general. I freely admit my disdain because I see ulterior motives, pathological liars and manipulative beings. She was just emotionally cold and my late father was controlling and not a man you could hug which I think is sad. I believe I would’ve been a more open and aware father had I turned out being in the majority. I sense she had a lot of shame and would never open up if I asked her what was wrong. She’d dismiss me by saying nothing or a feeble “uhmmm”. I think she felt she never reached her full potential with that Depression W2 generation.

Dr. Carter. A big hand shake to you from Illinois... thank you.

Dr. Carter, I am SO Grateful for your broadcast. I had been gaslit for so long... I Almost started to Believe it. Your programming affirms me I had been 'on the right track' all along. Thank You 🤗

The Narcissists who are currently in my life right now are here out of necessity only. Thank you for giving me the ability to see through their manipulation and control tactics. I've also learned what to say to them and what not to say and how to deal with them in a manner that keeps my sanity and emotional and psychological well-being firmly intact. They don't upset me anymore. I now find their antics, temper tantrums, anger outbreaks, self-absorpion and attempts at manipulation purely comical until I can get them out of my life for good. They seem puzzled that now I laugh at everything they do. I hate that I need them right now and I hate that I have to rely on them for certain reasons but my focus continues to be on a better future without them 😁👍💯💯💯

This is my major problem right now. I've gotten financially free from my narc dad after he financially abused me via a business I helped him run but never got compensation for.. I've moved away with plans to reduce contact but not cut him off. But now every phone conversation is him complaining and insulting me. Last time we spoke he said "i hate to be that guy but i told you so". After I shared a set back in my life that I've already rebounded from. I wasn't asking for help. But he loves insulting me any chance he gets. And now I dread talking to him. And he's already sending me manipulative texts because I've been avoiding him. It's like he doesn't understand that you're supposed to make conversations pleasant if you want people to talk to you.

I was so happy about having a pair of new living room curtains being up and i expressed this to my ex narco husband that the curtains looked brighter and werent depressing like the other curtains. Then he said to me, "The only thing depressing around here is you." 😳 I was crushed and left the room to cry. I wouldnt let him see me cry.

I need to watch this video for sure because it will be healing to me when what I am going through is being acknowledged instead of dismissed as me only having a perpetual victim mindset after I ealized whom I had married was not who I thought he was when I had then left hime and then started to try and get a reasonable divorce agreement put into place in the family court system while children were involved. Instead the narcissist used the family court system to further abuse and terrorize me through my concern for our infant children.

One of the worst parts is the way they try to Impose roles on you without telling you in the know that you would refuse it otherwise. My ex was an alcoholic who always swore she wanted my help to quit drinking. She only let slip that she thought it was "your job to buy me my drink" after nine years of highly abusive on-again--off-again relationship, her "little holidays" always ending in "I walked out on you all those times because I didnt want the drinking to be over". Dont let yourself get caught in that cycle with some sadist who is cruelly enjoying the trauma bond they are inflicting on you.

There are no solutions , for every solution they find a problem ,.there is no escape from this crashing negativity... defeated ..yes that is correct but it can ground you .

The only reaction to the narcisist’s crazy is „ just go away from me!” Thank you dr Carter❤

Every time I watch these I am reminded of two things. One, the road away from them is very difficult and two, how terrible they are. And I just realized one other thing. Being with Dr Carter means you’re not alone.

Control thru shaming, criticizing, manipulation, bullying, (yelling, screaming, cursing), humiliation. Even attempting to make herself indispensable, (look at everything I'm doing for You).

Narcissist makes a mistake, everyone makes a mistake its not a big deal. You or someone else makes a mistake, you are doing it on purpose to jeopardize them!

I so long for the day when I am able to heal from all the toxic people who I’ve allowed to impact my life so badly. Ugh, so exhausting

'I'm just trying to help' is something I've heard a lot when receiving unwanted critique or advice that I never asked for from a sibling of mine, he has always been negative and won't change.

So difficult to realise these people are incapable of introspection. They cause so much hurt and pain, and then just disappear. Thanks Dr C

I have found that sometimes the negativity can be about everyone and everything and they turn on you when you commiserate. One boundary I have that I love the most is I won't let anyone set the pace or standard for my day. Such as just because I had a difficult start to my day doesn't set the tone for my entire day. Oddly I've gotten fairly good reactions from even the worst when they point out that it's not even 10AM and I've been struggling for 4 hours just think how the rest of the day will be like... I respond with hey it can only get better from here and I'm taking a break so as to better focus on more positive outcomes. A few early day challenges are not going to ruin my day and I refuse to predict that for myself.

I experienced negativity, anger and agression constantly projected onto me. It was endless. She tried to literally control everyone and everything via negativity. Yet wanted constant sympathy. She was committed to her anger or addicted to it, .and it was shame based, so true Dr Les. I got out, but it was hell, utter hell.

I am 59 years old and only in the last three months or so have I finally figured out that my mom is and always has been a narcissist and now an alcoholic. I look back at my life and now I finally figured out that my mom has always wanted me to be an ignorant little boy that has to worship the ground that she walks on and can not do anything on my own without the help of my mother. I look back at my life now and things that she said to me that just did not seem right at the time, but I could never figure out why it did not seem right. Now I finally have started to realize so many things was caused by what a horrible mother I had as a child and as an adult. My two older sisters were never praised or loved as they should have been. when she tells me that she loves me with all of her heart and gives me a hug it makes my skin crawl. With my warped sense of self and self loathing, I would say that I have lost out on so many relationships that could have been good for me. I wanted to go to the pool near a beach with her one day. She told me that if I wanted to go then I should walk. I ended up walking for about five miles to get to the pool. When I got there she was immediately saying that i could not have done that by myself, that someone had to have given me a ride. When I told her that i wanted to get a job with the airport authority or with an airline, her response was. "you can not do that, you will never be able to get a job with an airline or at the airport." I did get a job with an airline. instead of being proud of me she told me that I should be ashamed since I embarrassed her, since "If a mother tells you that you can not do something, then you should not even try". Even as an adult with things that she did for me, I see now that it was not out of love, but out of thinking that I was ignorant and that I could not do things on my own. I got rid of an entertainment center once, that she stained for me. Her immediate response was "why did I throw away all of that hard work that she did for me. I see now how many times she has tried to make me feel ashamed or guilty of things. I now understand why my dad had an affair.

Heck yes. I am on team healthy even though I am currently stuck with living with an unhealthy person. I refuse to play his complete mind field of head and heart games of complete deception. No more. I am all done with all of this abuse of decades long battles. Thank you for helping me see dr. Less Carter I appreciate your😊 advice and wisdom so very much. Thank you for helping me finally see my worth and value in this lifetime like I never had before. I am worthy of being treated with kindness and respect. From now on I am not going to allow anyone to treat me with anything less than with love kindness and respect in which as I show to them. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼😊🥰🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

Everything they accuse you of...that's themselves they're talking about. My archnemesis manager would say things like: I don't buy that." Or put words in my mouth: "Oh, you mean redundant.," when I questioned the need for something that she wanted us to do. For example, 3 different disciplines billing for the same thing. Isn't that medicaid fraud, I queried. She blew up, then began to target me, falsely reporting on me for something she was doing. 🧟‍♀️ Grrrr.

They have negative, skeptical minds. You confuse their false self. If you shift to a negative style, they win. Dr. Les expressed this wonderfully!

To save yourself would result in there own self distraction. I’ve been going gray-rock with accepting there negativity and am noticing an implosion happening. This is like a steam engine that loose’s its pressure release valve. When the pressure of negativity has nowhere to go, it turns inside.

GUS heals all Wounds

Thank you for discussing this aspect of narcissistic abuse. This is how my mother and ex-boyfriend “brought me down” if I seemed too happy. As a result, I think I created a fantasy world for myself and lived in magical thinking to escape this kind of abuse. In the past two years, I’ve cut contact with my ex and my family. I’m coming face to face with my magical-thinking coping strategy, so it’s been a very hard, down-to-earth with a thud kind of feeling, but I’m focused on rebuilding my life from the ground up. No more miserable, selfish narcs, no more control-freaks.

I'm not stupid even tho he calls me stupid like every single day. I like that how you said it. I'm not buying into it.

I have found that telling people like this that I put no value on what they say, or that I see no credibility at all to what they tell me they think, comes as a massive shock. I suppose they don't even consider the possibility that their judgements don't mean anything to you; they just assume that their pronouncements on you are the centre of your world. Just to reinforce the idea further in case it's helpful for someone. I have told certain people, in response to their abuse and against a backdrop of screaming demands for control and unhinged attacks on my character, that they can think whatever they like but the conversation is ending the same way regardless, right now, with a large permanent distance in position between us.

There's probably alot of people who deal with at least one person in his life who likes to force unsolicited advice on everyone else. The advice almost uniformly isn't even that good. In the rare event it actually is good, it's often done forcefully without a foundation of reason so your immediate response is to refuse without even thinking. It never occurred that the chronic unsolicited advice giver is almost certainly a narcissist.

Your sir, are a treasure. I feel so blessed to have found your channel.

I once asked the person who is a narcissist in my life, Why don’t you encourage? They said I don’t get motivated by encouragement, I’m more motivated when someone tells me I can’t do it, I’m more motivated to now do what I wasn’t motivated before. But this honestly shows me why their mean, it’s selfish, and it helps them. Shalom

Or if they do ask for your opinion its just a facade. They already know what they want and will listen to your ideas only to tear them down and then proceed to tell you the correct answer. I think this is to build themselves up as smarter then you by letting you have a voice and then telling you that you idea is not as clever as theirs.

I'm so glad the narcassist in my life was just a roommate. I ran away and blocked her everyway possible when I was finally able to leave it has only a POSITIVE impact on my life

Can argue with a tree stump! Indeed, Dr. C! Good one! Lol

My wife told me “you’re so pleasant to be around” after I spent two weeks ignoring my needs and only focusing on functional duties. I didn’t speak unless I was responding to her assigning a task. When I told her that I hadn’t spoken in weeks, she told me I was lying. Amazing how my own lived experience was taken away when I made it known. She’d change the words I said as soon as I said them and would spend the rest of the conversation convincing me that her version was the only correct version. I began to rehearse what I would say and repeated it in my head like a song as she was telling me the “actual” words I said. It was similar to the Vietnam POW’s who would remember important facts to the tune of “Old MacDonald Had A Farm” during years of captivity. I felt like there was only one person in our relationship and she made sure that anything I enjoyed was met with ridicule and a disapproving face that would break a mirror. Thanks, Amy. You’ve made it where I will never trust a woman again. You’re a garbage human with a candy coating.

Dr C I listened to your podcast about Miguel, the least narcissistic person u ever met, and I was moved to tears! I’m so sorry you were so badly hurt in that skiing accident, but I love how that experience helped shape you into the kind, empathetic person that u are.

The day I was "written up" at work, the woman in my office happened to mention how, many times, when you're working as a home health aide, you and the client often become friends. I told her, "NOT with these two guys!" The younger one spent the first 6 months pointlessly argueing every single point of everything, until, 6 months in, the older guy suddenly EXPLODED and threw every single thing I'd said or done over the previous 6 months back at me. I didn't know what I was dealing with then. I do now. If I'd known, that assignment NEVER would have went any further than that day. One of my main goals going on from here is to NEVER allow a situation like that to continue, should one ever become that apparent again. People like that don't DESERVE help. At least... NOT MINE.

I have tried to figure out why a team at work has a constant dark undertow and cant make much headway in terms of group dynamics. Had an aha when a colleague showed herself in a meeting, making factually incorrect negative statements about others, about processes. It was clear that she has had involvement in keeping this dark undertow swirling by creating and spreading negative gossip about others and their work.

I have alot of love for you Dr. C you have helped me greatly on my journey of healing 🙌🙏🙌 Thank you Soo much 🥰👌

Seeing adorable Gus back there is really great therapy for me, he gets those endorphins going!

I worked for a narcissist 95 yr old. Anytime I ate or cooked for myself she would run in & make comments. I made her food to her liking. I ate to fast, to much salt, too much meat, not chewing, wrong everything, it was constant. She said I was the only one that ate with her.. I know why.

Throughout my life, any time I'd go somewhere (without my mother), she'd either drag out some newspaper article or tell me a cautionary story about "a girl/woman just my age" who was kidnapped, graped, mordered, etc., sufficing in making me a nervous wreck whenever I was merely trying to go off and enjoy myself, work or even to go put out fires - the destination never mattered, it was like giving me a pill filled with danger and fear for my trip. I'm just now starting to see things accurately, and I realized I've done the same to my own children - because I was terrified every time they left the house! 😱I'm now going thru the process of explaining to my kids how wrong I've been, operating out of fear, from my mother's 'mothering' perspective. It's not easy, but it's so liberating - your help has been invaluable to me, thank you. ❤

doc, you are definitely kinder and gentler than i. i told my narc sibling "i refuse to take on your $hit". she was attempting to blame me for her situation in life, which is a direct result of all her own choices.

Thanks, Dr. C. This video described what I’ve just been through with a friend whom I suspect has ADHD and ODD. His favourite words to me were, “you think too much”, when I expressed concern about his self-destructive behaviours including alcohol abuse. I think there might be a link between the shame resulting from something like ADHD, when misunderstood in childhood, and the emergence of narcissism in such individuals.

This was enlightening.

They cannot control negativity around them. They project it onto you 📽