How PragerU Creates Transphobia (in Trans-Affirming Folks) 

I think that you need a hug for doing this!🤗🤗🌈

I don't mean to sound malicious, I honestly mean no Ill will when I say this, that thumbnail picture isn't doing you any favors, I don't know if it was your intention but you look extremely smug to a cartoonish degree, idk just something I thought you should know

drink and drive. also who's Rebecca Chambers?

Is the tea Earl Grey, Hot?

First of all, it's very personally gratifying to have a highlighted comment from you :D Second, I was born in the city where you apparently live! Seattle is both much better *AND* much worse than it was when I grew up.

Thanks for sharing your story. I'm sorry you had such a hard road. I hope you're getting to live how you want now.

I hope the last months have brought you happiness and prosperity!

Exactly the point.

I'm 47...I get it. Too well..

When they told you that nobody suddenly becomes trans at 40... change the subject to health in general. Talk a little bit about nutrition. Talk about exercise. Talk about people who caught the fitness bug and began running when they were 40. And then ask: "Do you think they are just kidding themselves? No one just becomes a runner at age 40! We shouldn't sell them any running shoes or running clothes or a watch, right? We shouldn't celebrate them for finding something in life that brings them joy, right? Do you understand the parallel now, Doctor? How old are you doctor? Because I can tell you one thing. Following your logic, and applying it to yourself, the rest of your life is mapped out your life is over. You will never grow past who you are now. How does that make you feel... "Doctor"?"

Bwuhahahaha Good one!

Gotta get that Vince Zant glow!

​@@johnc3525yeah, no it's not

Its funny bc we (trans ppl) are told by doctors over and over it WONT solve all our problems. To a point where jt is patronizing. Like yes ik ive been wanting this for so long ik exactly what it will do and what problems it will solve.b

I find that interesting because while I was assigned F at birth i was a very feminine kid and was bullied for it in much the same way someone assumed to be a little boy would've been. I'm still trying to figure out why it happened to me, I feel like my gender is almost like someone the universe wanted to be a boy but I failed at it in almost every way (I consider myself genderqueer).

I feel like on a gender level I am probably more "boy" leaning but I don't know if that's who I really am or if I'm just so ashamed of my femininity that I suppress anything that isn't masculine. I used to repress my attraction to men because of this. Apologies for this i hope it's not trauma dumping or anything i just wanted to put my experience out there weird as it is

@@lizardabyss7035 everyone's experience is different. I'm a gay man who was closeted until I was twenty ( I'm thirty eight now) and it drove me close to suicide. Now I wouldn't want to be any other way even if I could. Everyone is different. The problem is that everyone wants to be the same and be "normal". There is no such thing. You're not weird at all.

@@lizardabyss7035 I still have a pretty good group of online friends (mostly male gamers) who are now in their 30s and 40s. They're mostly pretty decent people, pretty accepting (though, quite vulgar with each other, y'know, dudes). However, they still stigmatise everything they perceive as feminine. They make fun of me for enjoying makeup and nail polish. They make fun of me for caring for my skin. For wearing sunscreen. And they don't really see the problem with that, at all. Misogyny is absolutely still a thing that affects many of us. You can change the constitution and laws fairly quickly, but you can't change cultural norms and individual minds anywhere near quickly enough. We're equal on paper, alone. 😕 Femininity is still perceived as lesser.

@@cullenarthur8879 thank you a lot didn't see this till now but i truly appreciate that. I am slowly learning the same lesson and to be comfortable in who i really am.

They also fail to mention how the wrong-kind of social media can keep trans people in the closet for years such as in my case.

as someone who had never even heard of the words "trans" and "non-binary" until i was like 20, i grew up so isolated and confused, and just FINALLY finding community and understanding took off like half my dysphoria. i spent all my teenage years as a suicidal shut-in. now THAT is irreversible damage!

​​@@landis9767 I had a very similar experience. I was lucky enough to discover the trans community while still in high school through a summer camp I attended. But most of my information still came from online platforms. Without that camp though I would never have had to words to look up what I was feeling, because no one ever talked about things like gender expression and dysphoria to me. Edit: By gender expression I'm talking about things like how as a teenager I always wanted to be like my older brother, and resented anything that would make me seem "girly"

​@landis9767 I hadn't heard of trans anything until high school when a classmate I associated with would tease me by saying I watched "tranny midget porn." After looking up what tranny meant, I kind of just pushed it to the back of my mind. It wasn't until I was about 20 or 21 that I started really looking into my own transness and that was because Against Me! released their Transgender Dysphoria Blues album and something in me just clicked.

FR!! when i discovered what non binary was, my first instinct was researching online and watching trans youtube creators talking about it, majority of which had those "welcome to the trans community and it's information" type of videos exactly because it was a very new subject floating around mainstream media. It took me years to realize i was non-binary myself even being informed on the subject, descovering it made me really glad because i stopped having frequent and severe body dissociation and deformation, currently waiting on a personaly sized binder

I wonder if part of it wouldn't also be that boys (from the youngest possible age) are belittled for feminine seeming traits, whereas girls are allowed to be tomboys for a heck of a lot longer. So disphoria in childhood would be stronger for the one who isn't allowed to present themselves the way they want than for the one who can skate by for a few more years presenting how they want. This is coming from a person who is not trans but also never understood why my parents took pause at the fact that my one male roommate i had in college wore skirts around the house. He was surrounded by 3 female roommates but was a chill person and very devoted to his girlfriend. He was comfortable like that but so many people shamed him for it because he was "a normal boy otherwise"

@@alliew31 Also Ace and demiromantic, and while my dad seems to understand, I'm not sure my mother realizes I'm not joking when I answer "Never" to "When are you getting married and having kids?" Thankfully, she doesn't push the issue, but being her only child I worry that may change in the future.

@@catelynh1020 ugh. i wish people would realise that clothes are just clothes

I'm not even trans, but I had a VERY similar experience. Just feeling like suddenly, people were paying too much attention to me, for the wrong reasons. Hating my boobs, because people looked at them. But I was also very much a tomboy, and that was praised by my (narcissistic ass) father. He'd call me "the son [he] never had," in front of my 3 brothers. And then suddenly, he couldn't ignore that I was actually female. I couldn't ignore it, because so many people around me changed how they treated me. I hated it. I'm a lot more comfortable in my own skin, now, but it took a pretty long time. I think a lot of it was internalised misogyny, growing up in a fairly culty religion that told me I had no inherent value; my value came from what I could do for my future husband, how many kids I could pop out, for him, and to support him in HIS spiritual and financial success (Jehovah's Witnesses, btw). And all of the leaders of the church are male, and couldn't understand why a girl wouldn't be happy existing solely as a support figure for a man. Puberty is a turbulent time, at best, for girls. At worst, it just shows you how little respect most men have, for women. And that skeezed me out hard, for a long time. But I'm also fairly asexual, and had some confusion about that, too. The thought of things like marriage (🤢) and having children (🤮) filled me with anxiety and dread, and I didn't know why, for a very, very long time. It's a rough time. That's all I'm trying to say, I think. Even in the best circumstances, it's difficult.

Same... The pressure to shave, to start wearing makeup, caring about hair, wearing bras... I don't like those things, but was bullied for not doing them, so I had to fake it (which I was used to since I had undiagnosed learning disability, ADHD and other struggles I had to hide), but the last few years I've been struggling, with body changes due to not being underweight anymore, with what clothes fit, let alone are things I like, and with what words I like. I've questioned a lot and realized I don't have to be girly. Honestly, a lot of those things that came from bullying (like shaving) still remind me of the rude comments whenever I do them, so it's been freeing to realize I don't have to fit the binary, and that I can experiment with clothes and dress for how I feel, not just whatever fits. Although learning how to sew helped a lot with that, I can make my own non-binary clothing styles that fit my unusual proportions.

And like, if they're saying that teenagers are too young to know themselves, then the answer is put everyone on blockers until they're 25. But they would never go for that. Because we know what this is really about.

Kids are autonomous people not defective people 💜

"A teenager is just a teenager" -the same people who 1) Have military recruitment days at high schools, 2) Say it's better to go to the like 3 yearly school dances with a date than a friend group, 3) Say "men and women can't just be friends" and "he'll marry you some day" about me and my then best friend when we were (checks notes) 14 and 15 respectively, and 4) Encourage us to take on tens of thousands of dollars in student debt.

@@oreganospiceable oh yes! that would have been so awesome for me. I had no idea that being transgender was even a thing in 1981, but I KNEW without a doubt that I did not want to develop facial hair. I won't go into my personal story too much, but 40 years later, still wish I didn't grow facial hair.

@@BadAstra Don't forget libertarians wanting to change the concent laws regarding these teenagers.

Shrier doesn't care about facts. And if you show her the studies, she will just said that it's propaganda.

She in her own book writes how she, or th parents, not the kids, the parents she choses to listen frank ignore medical advice, like literally parents getting told, sorry we arent the right adress, here is a gender assignment clinic that can help. An her main source is a disgraced doctor ith a closed clinic who was just horrific and did conversion therapy stuff. Horrible abuse. Th oe doctor he chose to trust. Alsolisten to not anything and as "journalist" dimissing literally every doctor sh doesnt like. And listening to parents, nnot actual teenagers. because why not saying parental bias are "facts"

As has been shown so far in the (frankly amazing) series of dissection videos by Cass Eris, Shrier views facts as optional. Facts are only valid when they can be twisted to suit her transphobic worldview. Seriously, if you have the time I would highly recommend watching the videos (though since they are talking about the books there is a fair amount of transphobia shown, though Cass does their best to mitigate it).

This is because, as Jammie Dodger pointed out, she's not a doctor. She doesn't know wtf she is doing, or talking about, but that just helps her with a certain crowd who distrusts science and intellectuals.

What does JSTOR mean?

I guess it depends where you live. Here we have informed consent for hormones. I know people who saw a doctor once and walked out with a prescription. They were adults though. But for bottom surgery you need both a psychiatrist/therapist letter AND at least a year on HRT though.

Yeah, no... It does depend on where you live. I'm in the US in a pretty blue state and I was able to get hrt after one visit planned parenthood at 19, with no diagnosis or anything needed. I'm really sorry you're in that situation, you deserve bodily autonomy :(

This is a mood. It takes months to get put on a list to see someone in my city to even get hormones, let alone getting top done willy nilly

What country/ state are you located in, and are you just unable to afford the meds from a private clinic? Because in the US, there are a number of these clinics throughout the country. Tbh I think many of them are irresponsible

I mean, getting birth control was pretty easy. 15 minutes in a doctors office. Then you can just walk in for years to get them at the pharmacy. Then again, I am female and the hormones are considered that as well. But for trans folks, they have to wait years. Pretty ridiculous, since they put hormones in chickens without telling us and without consent. I think you need to be 16 as transgender to get hormones here, 12 for blockers and 18 for surgery (AND having had hormones for 2+ years). Consults are probably delayed due to covid too :/

@@johnc3525 surgeries are life saving for most trans people, and we're not a trend

They aren’t for some trend

Yep, it's the typical misogyny and misandry that comes from the conservative and TERF communities.

It’s institutionalized sexism

Even though they can still get pregnant as men

Facts... transphobes don't like them. Facts interfere with their analysis.

I hope you have the chosen family you deserve! -fellow trans guy ❤️

At this rate of you do any more growing you'll be to tall to fit though any doorways. In all seriousness, as a fellow trans person I wish you the best in your future endeavours. Hope you surround yourself with people who love you for you.

I haven’t grown out of it since 3rd grade.. I’m a Trans Guy lol :)

You remember the 5yo "boy" who likes to dress up as a princess, you don't remember the 5yo "girl" who likes to dress up as a pirate.

Same!! When I went through puberty, I had all of my "boy" stuff thrown away because I'm "a blossoming young woman" [🤮] & things were supposed to be different. Lmao. And I mean... I did know tons of tomboys who ended up being comfortable with their assigned gender! Buuut... Not all of us were tomboys. Some of us are boys, or somewhere in between. 🙃 I'm turning 30 & only now just come out as a demiboy & I finally feel connected to my body/how I convey myself to the world. 💙🤍💙

So does that make philosophy tube evil Abigail Shriner? (based on the evil _meme, like ke evil trump or bizzaro super man)

God I had to do my own research on ADD/ADHD in like middle school to find out I wasn't being diagnosed, because my brother was diagnosed as ADHD and was bouncing off the walls hyperactive, while I had zero attention span (except when what I now know was hyperfocusing) in the spacey kind of way, and later found out my parents dismissed suggestions from teachers to get me evaluated for years. Tried to explain what I had learned, and how it sounded like what dealt with, but I was so different from my brother I was ignored. Finally had them agree to have me looked at when I was 17 and at the end of junior year of highschool (where I had struggled a lot, not just from the ADHD but the just showing it's head depression and anxiety thanks to a cross country move), and got diagnosed after I turned 18 that december (since insurance and everything would have to change then anyways we decided to wait till then), and turned out that yes, what I researched 5 years ago was correct, and I did have a very strong case of ADHD. That's when I found out that they'd brushed off things teachers had said since first grade- before my brother was diagnosed, just because I wasn't the run around can't sit down kind of hyperactive like they thought ADHD was, meanwhile I was punished severely for having trouble focusing at times and called lazy and not trying hard enough for the things I struggled with. Watching the D I was struggling to get in math shoot up to a B almost immediately was such an I told you so moment mixed with self soothing that I really had been trying my best before and there was reasons why it was hard. Ugh so annoyed just thinking about all that.

I had to stop and correct my health teacher when they said Autism and ADHD mostly effects boys. Me being Autistic 😐

@@MariaThePotterNut Did your parents ever apologize? My mom also ignored my signs and pleas to get evaluated until I was 17 as well. So much of my potential wasted because she didn’t want a neurodivergent kid. Now she has three of us to deal with and she’s much more understanding. She realized her mistakes with me and apologized when I was diagnosed, which helped me feel a lot better, but sometimes I still think about how different things could’ve been if I was diagnosed sooner and made use of the resources put out there for us. I often have to tell myself that the past is the past and I made it to the college I wanted either way, so everything’s alright.

Oof, this punched me right in the gut. I hope you're living safe and well rn

@@beaucarbary5619 I am, thank you :3

Good fucking lord...stay safe, friend. It's a scary world out there.

Damn, that gave me goosebumps. Your dad really loves and cares for your security. It *is* tough out there:(

Hey... Sending loads of hugs to you and I hope that you're staying safe and living safe because you deserve freedom and you deserve to be safe (your self-preservation and well being comes first!) 🫂🫂🫂🫂

A lot of the most virulent 'detransitioners' admitted they gamed the system of decades ago precisely because trans people had to fit a sexist formula then. Even to try to escape the stigma of being gay. Only to find out that gay people generally want the anatomy trans people don't in themselves.

Believing you won't get care is an internal problem .. not a problem with the medical care available...

@@kimmmimemwest1895 no, trans folks regularly get denied care for arbitrary reasons, so it’s a symptom of a flawed medical system. I had “good” healthcare and still had to fight to get access to preventative care and the possibility of my insurance treating it as a legitimate healthcare need even if they ultimately didn’t cover it.

@@BarryBoggs-qp5lj so you couldn't get preventative care for what exactly ?? I'm confused ..that seems like it's not trans exclusive .. if I can't get preventative cancer treatment that's not a trans issue ...

@@kimmmimemwest1895 I mean I’m not going to discuss my medical history is a RU-vid comment if that’s what your asking, but the insurance I had and doctor I was trying to see claimed me transitioning caused the issue so they didn’t need to treat or cover it, despite no evidence that they were connected at all. So yeah it is a trans issue, and one that a lot of people have had.

“I’m not a boy or a girl; I’m Spider-Man!” I’m stealing that line

You're Spiderman? I need some pictures for my newspaper. Can we discuss payment?

Dude! Spiderman is still a guy - SpiderMAN! 😝

@@pavlabrisudova4251so goofy 🙃🙃🙃 what a silly goober 🤪😜🙃 blehh 😝

This sounds like my mother. She was surprised when I liked boys *at all* I was such a little raging butch-in-training my entire childhood, I've been getting called a lesbian since before I even knew what that meant and now she's acting like the shift to "oh. Some of that was about gender not just sexuality" is super confusing. 💀🤦

Respect Big Man, love your content and how it taught me more about Caribbean History

@@tintintin7753 bless up, fam ✊🏿 i truly appreciate that dred

Always a treat to see two of my favorite essayists gas each other up!!

Ahhh thank you so much you amazing human ❤️

Your name needs a checkmark! Your content is awesome! We'll get you there one day, I'm sure of it. Keep up the good work~

Yeah I’m pretty sure that age of consent laws for care is only relegated in most states to mental health services. I know in PA where I live that people always mistake the law for being able to consent to mental health care (even against parental wishes) at 14 is so often misinterpreted as referring to any care. The trans kids are probably just receiving mental health services for their dysphoria and not medical services until they’re older. Doctors don’t even recommend any medical transitioning besides puberty blockers until a person is past puberty at which point they’re probably considered a legal adult anyways.

@@fionatastic0.070 No, it does extend to medical services in oregon at least. And it is absolutely not true that doctors don't reccomend hormones until legal adulthood. They're usually permitted around 15-16

@@SheWhoExists Oh that’s good to know. Thanks for the correction. I’m glad that they can make the decision to get treatment for their dysphoria.

There are clinics like that all over the country, over-prescribing whatever teens want and creating a lot of serious health risks. Everyone in healthcare thinks this is concerning and wouldn't want the risks for their own children. Of course, teens can get birth control, ab0rt10ns, &other sorts of healthcare, so there are risks with all of these things. We're very "free" in the US and that comes with responsibility. Don't take meds or undergo procedures unless you're sure you need them

I mean, at that age you probably know your gender and don't need your parents to make decisions.

Now to mention the "irreversible, life-altering transformation" that happens at puberty. But then, hypocrisy *is* these peoples' stock in trade.

To be fair, it’s going to permanently effect one of the two lives regardless

​@@thatguythere6161 but one life is a person living on their own and the other is a bunch of cells growing INSIDE that person.

@@Julie-ns8vm Up to a point. I don’t have a problem with abortions within the few months of pregnancy, but the longer someone waits after that, the worse it gets. I just hate when people act like a fetus isn’t a life at all when debating abortion.

@@thatguythere6161 you realise that at the end of the first month of pregnancy, the embryo is only 2 weeks old? Pregnancy is dated from the first day of the last period before conception. Most people find out they’re pregnant at weeks 4-7. Allowing abortions from “week 1” through to week 4 isn’t really a helpful solution at all.

Yep, language can very much drive perception. This is something many people outside of linquistics and neuroscience really understand much. You go to your typical English speaker and show them a whole pannel of red shades with one pink and they can readily pick that pink one out as being different.... because we have unique word in English for particular shades we will call pinks that we differ from reds...... At the same time were you to go to the Himba people in Namibia and show them the same panel they wouldn't be able to pink out hte pink as being different. At the same time those Himba people whne shown a panel of green shades would likely pink out one as very unique that an English speaker wouldn't recognize... because they have unique words for specific shades of what we would call greens in their language. Before you have provided with a language to describe something, that something can go unrecognized by you. It is still there, but you just don't really differentiate it from the surrounding. This is something the average person isn't typically going to even be conscious of.

@@gabrielsalahi3656 What's so harmful to a child about explaining what sex is or explaining what gender is? You don't need to go into any nitty gritty details about it(Unless provoked further, than I think it's fine to provide information) but if they ask about it, what is harmful about presenting the information in an easy to digest way for a child? Children are exposed to religion all the time, and religion has some very messed up things in it, but we still teach kids about that in a kid friendly way. Hell conservatives all across the country teach kids how to carry and fire a loaded gun. How is that okay but this isn't?

@@gabrielsalahi3656 Because there are grown adult men who want to use their pp to hurt little kids, and it’s better they learn the vocabulary so it’s admissible in court, and that child SA victims have better chances of identifying and exculpating their abusers.

@@gabrielsalahi3656 And for the “certain things shouldn’t be taught until later on” yes, they shouldn’t be explicitly taught. With a filter, yes, kids can have a base level understanding of the subject matter, so they don’t get too confused and insecure about their bodies and sex as they get older.

Because in their mind the information _is_ the problem. They view these things as cognito hazards. In their minds, kids are "normal," and remain "normal," unless they somehow learn that "deviancy" exists, in which case just knowing the "deviancy" exists will cause their minds to be consumed by the "deviancy," effectively turning the child into a completely different person

@@gabrielsalahi3656 40% of what? I was speaking broadly. What thing are you getting specific about?

Plus it's worth mentioning that most detransitioners only did so because existing as a trans person is a little...terrifying and you're lucky if you have just one family member disown you.

The #1 reason cited for detransitioning is workplace discimination. It says nothing about the accuracy of the diagnosis.

@@emzetkin1100 Source? Because its not like its pushed on children and teens that they need to transition.

@@emzetkin1100 Or for medical reasons.

The "trans" part apparently means nothing, words used to have meaning.

Honestly I find this idea that AFAB people are "praised" for being masculine frustrating and dismissive. What universe do you live in where a masculine AFAB person is anything but used as the butt of a joke or treated like garbage? There is an EXTREMELY tiny bit of BARELY "acceptable" masculinity that AFAB folks are allowed access to in this patriarchal society, but the moment they step beyond that little bit of "accepted" masculinity they're treated like shit. Studies seem to back this up as well, there's a South African study showing that masculine lesbians were victimized at higher rates than femme lesbians. (See: "Paradoxes of Butchness: Lesbian Masculinities and Sexual Violence in Contemporary South Africa") Even here in the USA, butch lesbians are always used as the butt of a joke, called gross and disgusting, used for shock value humor, etc. Multiple studies also show that AFAB trans people experience higher levels of non-fatal violence than AMAB trans people. It's not that masculinity in AFAB people is more normalized or "praised"-- it's that cis manhood is treated as an exclusive club that AFAB people could never be granted true access to, because of misogyny. A trans man could never be a """"real"""" man in the eyes of the patriarchy. He will always be a lesser, inferior copy because he's not a cis man. I feel like takes like this vague idea that masculine women are "praised" for their masculinity (and there's really never any examples given of how this nebulous "praise" manifests, because in reality they don't get praised, there's some very limted, s3xually motivated """praise""" lumped on conventionally attractive heterosexual woman who participate in a limited selection of traditionally masculine activities, but beyond that any AFAB person who participates in masculinity in defiance of the cishet male gaze is seen as the enemy) implicitly imply that misogyny is reserved solely for femme people, and it erases the misogyny that trans men face both pre-transition *and* often post-transition where heavy misogyny is often directed at AFAB bodies and especially genitals. I feel like we can discuss the invisibility vs hypervisbility issue that affects the trans community without downplaying or masking the violence and transphobia that affects AFAB individiuals. I see far too many people who think that "invisibility means that AFAB trans people don't really experience transphobia or violence, that AFAB trans people don't "need" resources and activism/help, and that narrative really needs to change.

I agree with every point. Trans guy here 9 months on T, 2 months post top surgery. Even at the tipping point of passing, I'm only ever seen as a butch lesbian or a cis man. I am virtually NEVER seen as a trans man. The only exception is in the swimming pool. There the mix of sex characteristics shows a lot more and then I get stares and clocked as trans. Honestly, I kind of enjoy it because I don't feel invisible or like I'm hiding anything. Out in the wild (not swimming) I often wear a He/Him/His T shirt and drop the fact that I'm trans all over the place because I do want to be seen. I'd rather deal with the looks and occasional awkwardness than feel completely invisible.

I agree. I also think one important reason for the disproportional attention is because most things in society are seen and discussed through the eyes of cishet men. Trans men don't represent neither as much threat nor interest to them; if we're presenting or functioning as a woman "enough", we can just be ignored; if we aren't, we are considerably less sexually and reproductively desired by straight men and therefore can be ignored as well. Trans women, on the other hand, are both more disruptive to straight manhood and more sexually interesting. On the one hand, transfem people are on it's own an existential crisis to patriarchy: when a system presents traditional manhood as superior and masculinity as virtuous, someone discarding that away is undermining the whole social order. For the same reason there's also more scrutiny on gay and gnc men: they are seen as traitors to the system. On the other hand, straight men can also be attracted to trans women, opening a debate which attraction or actions "count" as gay. And when a trans woman isn't straight, she is also perceived as risk or competition to the other group these men are interested in - cis women. I've been thinking about that ever since I noticed something interesting in my own life. Long story short, I wasn't fully out as a guy at school but obvious enough for most of my classmates to infer that; I was also kind of seen as a queer expert, so I was asked about or forced to debate about trans people a few times by straight teen boys. What's interesting is that despite me being a guy, they only ever wanted to talk about trans women. For example, for some reason they decided to confess to me they watched porn with trans girls and really wanted to know more about the effects of mtf transition on sex; another time, they rated trans models based on attractiveness; on other occasion, they demanded I debate them on the access of trans women into women's toilets and prisons. There were many other, though smaller, instances. The only times they showed any interest in trans men was 1) about testosterone affecting penis growth 2) when we've already finished school and were drinking together. We got flirty with one dude and someone had a brief debate with him on whether that made him gay or not with arguments mainly contingent on how far I was into medical transition. Honestly, it just strengthened with my view that trans people are just really often seen through the wants and insecurities of cishet men. As for the research, Blanchard definitely comes to mind: he just bluntly states in one paper that he doesn't study trans men because they don't interest him. And as a whole, his terminology dividing trans women into "young-beautiful-exlusively available to men" and "older-less attractive-not only interested in men" which is a misogynistic tale is old as the world. Bailey, his disciple and the one who brought the dichotomy fame, goes as far as to state this directly, blatantly objectifying trans women in his book. Hell, Shrier herself doesn't really go after all afab trans people either: she specifically picks femininity and relationships with men as evidence that her subjects aren't trans. It seems to me that she's only worried about teens who were expect to grow up as "proper" women, feminine and straight (she discounts bi girls, by the way, because she thinks that it's just a phase to "become ready" for men. Yes, really.) which is somewhat curious to me, since that is really the only group cishet men could be bothered about. Queer or gnc girls are less expected to grow up compliant with traditional gender roles, so it's only when a gender-conforming and atracted to men afab teenager turns out not to be a woman that they are seen a "loss" or being "converted"

@@noneedtoknow3467 I think the reason butch lesbians are so disparaged by bigots is simply because they're lesbians and, as OP stated, they tend to stand out more, so they became a spectacle for the public to mock. What OP meant by women being masculine being more acceptable is that, for example, there's less of a fuss when women wear men's clothing (like jeans and coats) than when men wear women's clothing

Gonna have to disagree with you on masculinity being normalized in women or even praised. If that were true I, someone in a male dominated profession (although that is changing), would not get constantly penalized for things that earn my male colleagues praise. When they do it, they're zealous, and assertive, and confident. When I do it, I'm "bossy," and "overbearing," and "shrill."

I know it's an old comment but just wanted to say thank you. Means a lot to know not everyone is so rigidly set in their worldview, as tragic as it is that people I'd otherwise have gotten along with choose to spout hate. Gives me some hope

Thank you for your support ❤

I wish you luck on your journey!❤

Thanks for your support. It means a lot ❤

Holy crap a detrans who ain’t attacking us :0 All hail a good person 🥹 Fr tho Thanks for not being a shitkazoo :)

Heart emoji ❤

PoggersU 😂

I would watch the shit out of that lol

Lol I would pay to see that

Yes please

PoggerU is my Alma Matar, though my friend graduated from LigmaU

I know, it’s not great.

@@gabrielsalahi3656 Elaborate.

@@gabrielsalahi3656 Maybe because there is still a massive stigma against trans people, and there are people brutal enough to put their words to actions. Also, trans kids being bullied happens way too much, and that is the base for what causes so much depression and su*cidal ideation, along with the extremely painful gender dysphoria which makes them very uncomfortable in their bodies.

​@@gabrielsalahi3656 trans kids who try to come out and are denied any support are more likely to end their lives than kids whose identities are respected. This respect is usually just calling them by the words they prefer, letting them wear the clothes they're comfortable in, etc. It doesn't have to mean life-altering surgeries and for the vast majority of trans kids it literally doesn't mean that. Also taunting and stomping on the feelings of kids who are already at a statistically higher rate of endangering themselves isn't going to make their lives any easier. Also why tf are you stealing my guy Jorge's icon

​@@gabrielsalahi3656 Where on Earth are you getting that 80-90% stat from?

For me it first showed up when I hit puberty… but I didn't really know the signs, y'know? I didn't know to _think_ "I'm a girl"… I probably should have, though, when after my first Pathfinder character was a girl I proceeded to almost exclusively make female characters from then on. When I found an odd comfort in being mistaken for a girl in online spaces. But for some years there in the 2000s, the concept of a "G.I.R.L." (Guy In Real Life) carried such stigma online that I had no hope of having it occur to me to play a girl.

​@FlameUser64 girl... this is really relatable😭

@@johnc3525 cis people mystify dysphoria. They talk about it like it is this all consuming thing where you look in the mirror and say "why don't I look like a girl". For a lot of us, indeed I'd say the vast majority of us, the waters were significantly muddier. This isn't to say there weren't signs. When I was in pre-school I exclusively wanted to spend time with the girls. In kindergarten the girls socially ostracisized me and made it clear that someone like me wouldn't be welcome around them. When I fantasized about having a child and being a mother I was told "You can't be that, that's not what you are, but you can be a father." and I accepted it because I assumed older people knew better. When I became a teenager, I looked forward to my body changing--until it did and suddenly I hated everything about myself "He's just depressed," they said, "he needs exercise, or to just learn to love himself". I didn't know what trans people *were* until I was a teenager, and when it was explained to me it was with an odd contempt "They are weird, they are other, they are not like *us*" and I just assumed that was what it was. I wrapped myself in that self-loathing and internalized transphobia and I shut out every thought that that might be me for another ten years, creating a mask that I wore so rigorously I never even learned what my face actually was. Until I took a chance, until I let it slip for just a second and discovered what I was behind it. That's how you go 30 years without discovering your trans. That's how you go 40, or 50, or even 60 years. You push all the thoughts that you might be into a box and you forget the box exists.

I had some concept of non binary as a 4 year old in the 90s. I knew I wasn't a boy but somehow I felt like I wasn't properly a girl either despite having a girl's private parts.

yeah

That’s EXACTLY the same reason i went from thinking they just “had a different opinion” to understanding that they’re an actual problem.

I think you rock and have a big, fluffy, powerful brain.

I think people are just using behavioral bias to slight you when you're rational. Has the same energy as, "you make a good point, but... you're in a wheelchair"

@@nukiradio yeahhh i think so too, can't help disliking it though, obviously

You can probably throw in class issues into that intersection too. Blowing trans-related talking points out of proportion and scaremongering about the threat of "trans propaganda" is a convenient smoke screen for politicians and the privately owned media to distract from the various issues caused by capitalism and therefore protect private interest. So, in a roundabout way, trans-issues and feminist-issues are also working class issues.

Yeah! I’m glad someone is talking about this, I feel like people just ignore it because they’re scared to misgender trans men or something? But when bigots see you as a woman, they will treat you the same way they treat women, even if it’s negative. I think people also assume that saying that trans men face sexism is also saying that trans women don’t, but that’s also very not true. Even though bigots treat trans AFABs the same negative way they treat women, they also end up treating trans AMABs that way. It’s so stupid and makes no logical sense, but hate doesn’t make logical sense. It’s just anyone who triggers their anti-woman bias, which ends up being anyone who has any form of relationship to having ever been/thought they were/identified as a woman, currently or in the past.

I said when the Republicans started attacking Trans people woman, and other vulnerable minorities would be next. Because that is how fascists operate. Divide and conquer.

@Alyssa C Dude, fork off with that nonsense.

@Alyssa C "no prominent MAP rights movement" found the agitator

It's unfortunately pretty easy to prime people in general to be against anyone (or anything) that they don't understand. I try to be vigilant for those tendencies in myself for the exact reason that I know I'm not immune.

I mean, Cass Eris (mentioned in the video for her series analyzing Shrier's book) explicitly goes over how Shrier's own interviews relay that the PARENTS of AFAB trans-masc kids and teens... One took their child to several therapists. SEVERAL THERAPISTS OVER MULTIPLE YEARS. Every single therapist said the same thing: "We think your kid might actually be trans." The parent then goes on to state that the kid CANNOT be trans, and talks with Shrier about how "evil media" has "brainwashed" her "innocent daughter".

Non affirming care can get you fired ..

@@kimmmimemwest1895 Literally the job of the psychologist/therapist making the decision is to determine whether the person they are analyzing is or is not in fact trans. This is before any other steps have been taken by any other medical professionals, and is the single-most legally-posited gate to what constitutes "affirming"/"non-affirming" care from subsequent professionals. Like, if she could get one therapist to state "Your kid's faking; they aren't trans" then that's a metaphorical hall-pass she can wave around to deny non-affirming care. But, weirdly, NONE OF THE PROFESSIONALS WHO KNOW HOW TO ANALYZE PEOPLE'S THOUGHTS agreed with the mother's assessment of the kid "faking" being trans. Maybe the medical professionals who literally spent at least a decade of education and usually at least as long actually practicing in the field...know more about what they're saying than a parent who doesn't even pay attention to their own child.

@@onijester56 how can you fake being trans ??? If you say you are a girl that means you are a girl ... How can you fake it ???

@@onijester56 Shrinks care about their paychecks. They prefer taking the path of least resistance and do their best to avoid helping cause then they actually have to do their job and that's when people realize they aren't really qualified. It's why I've never seen one.

This. As a kid I was taught that girls could be anything, so even when I would proudly proclaim that I did or had x "like a boy/like boys do" it was treated as "yeah. girls can do anything sweetie!" Which led to me being really confused for awhile

This and also I know when I expressed discomfort with things about my body in adolescence (mostly my chest), it would get written off as ‘body image issues’ or ‘you’ll grow into it’ rather than actually heard for what I was saying. AFAB people have unrealistic body standards thrown at them from childhood and it can be hard to parse that out from gender identity things both as a kid and as someone listening to said kid.

It seems that it's more of a problem that people think there are such things as masculine and feminine qualities...not that boys play with dolls ...

@@kaepeterman4394 Why would you believe being uncomfortable with you chest means you shouldn't be female or a girl ?

@@kimmmimemwest1895 Because I wanted a flat chest instead of breast and in context of other things/wanting other masculine feature, for me it was a gender thing. And to respond to your other comment: As a non-binary person, yeah things shouldn’t immediately be assigned gendered qualities. It would solve a lot of problems, including transphobia and people not recognizing when AFAB people are trans. However, giving kids and adults more accurate information and language to talk about certain experiences if their kid is trans is also really important and would save a lot of people some heartache.

My older sisters graduated in 04 and 06, their high school had a lgbt alliance club as well, with a lot of members. So Idk why this lady is acting like trans people were super rare back then.

I lived out in the sticks and I remember the fuss when someone had apparently written to the school paper feeling some non-straight feelings. A bunch of people even asked me if I'd done it because I was a social recluse that no one could get a read on.

cool

I'm only a bit younger but I had an openly nonbinary teacher (though they didn't use that term at the time) who had a kid with their trans man partner. Plus I knew a person who was AFAB but dressed super masculine and liked to be called a boy. Just because I didn't know the language at the time doesn't mean those people weren't there

Great comment, and sadly, even trans girls get this used against them by their parents :/

Ah, but does a gender non-conforming person truly exist if they are not being observed by a cis person? 😉

@@Rampala Schrodinger's trans?

The social media argument is also a false cause fallacy. Kids who are already feeling isolated, anxious, and depressed are way more likely to spend more time online, because it's an easy way to meet like-minded people without the time and geographical restrictions. Online research is also a good way to gain access to information that wouldn't normally be available, because the topics pertaining to kids who are trans or questioning typically are not taught in schools.

Trans people have not always existed... Because gender has not always existed...

@@FrozEnbyWolf150 I have seen several trans people say they was influenced by socal media

Eu Quetzal! 👋🏻

I'm MTF and have a related problem: the moment I had the realization that I was actually a girl I was struck by an incredibly powerful impulse that I needed to be pregnant. Which is, unfortunately, not possible. Not that I'd want to be pregnant in the body I have now anyway. I hate my body.

Lol Prince, boy George , David Bowie etc ... Its been accepted for decades

I can definitely relate to this. I was a pretty stereotypical "tomboy" growing up but it was largely never questioned (there were a few who tried to force femininity on me, but most just kind of let me get on with it). But I think because it was so normalised, it took me a really long time to figure out I was trans. I mean, looking back it's painfully obvious lol, but I legitimately had no idea that trans men existed. I had a very limited understanding of trans women as a kid (though it was the "super effeminate man in dress" level of understanding that makes me cringe to think about now), and I remember trying to research online if there were any "women who became men" when I was about ten years old, and aside from an AFAB non-binary person who didn't represent my personal experience at all, there was nothing. I kind of just accepted that I was just a tomboy and as much as I didn't want to be a girl, I just had to suck it up and deal with it. I'm in a better place about it now, but man, the erasure is real.

I came here to say that too, with it being socially acceptable to be a tom boy I can easily see people AFAB not realising they are trans until puberty hits and they don't like the changes. I am cis but when puberty hit I went through a stage of I wish I was a boy, mine turned out to be that I just hated getting periods. I am extremely grateful that I have small breasts though as my preferred look is a more androgynous one (I do have small phases of dressing 'girly' though) and wouldn't be at all concerned if I didn't have my breasts anymore.

You don’t need to use the horns emoji there’s actually a live long and prosper emoji 🖖

You make excellent points. My sister thinks the reason why trans men might find it easier to blend into society is because of misogyny. For a woman to want to be a man or masculine , it's seen as a good thing, aspirational even. But if a man wants to be a woman or more feminine, it's seen as him degrading himself or becoming somehow less than.

Conservatives despise what they view as weakness

Sounds rough. I hope your situation will get better

If you're not diagnosed with ASD then don't go around saying you have it..

@@notfunny1410 (Edit: I re-read my comment and I will correct it. Thank you.) I specified I "MIGHT" have ASD. And I also clarify that it's not uncommon for people with ASD to be undiagnosed because of all the implicit bias that exists. I have been told by the same amount of therapists that I have ASD as I have been told I don't. I would prefer you didn't just assume I go around telling people I have ASD, and that you research the subject and the reason why so many people with ASD don't have an official diagnosis. And again, I repeat, I said I "might" have ASD.

@@sammjaisais7135 i have ASD and its okay to do some research and recognize symptoms but ive seen too many people who self diagnose or dont want to get a real diagnosis..

"No one 'gets over' their body & survives." That sentence hit _hard._

@@NoxietyPrime 💜

​@ferret I'm mostly going off of my experience with ADHD, which is very much a cognitive disorder or at least currently viewed as such. I think I've read a different designation about autism, so I apologize for lumping it into the category. They are both definitely disabilities!

yeah

@@JessieGender1 thank you. You are very appreciated for everything that you do.

Usually if you hit the tiny little i button (at least on mobile) you can get them to stop playing those ads. It takes a while tho

Exactly. It's genuinely painful to even hear our community continuing to fight amongst each other over who is trans and who isn't, with a lot of hatred towards gender expressions from TERF and radfem rhetoric that continues to not be critically examined within our community... I'm all for trans unity against outside bigotry continuing to divide us!

Some FtM is going to go "TERF" and accuse MtFs of having "maab privilege"

Well, back then, most LGBT people already weren't out in high school for rather more local reasons. Transitioning would be a very rare thing and probably involve switching schools.

I'm all for getting revenge on homophobes and transphobes. They need to be treated as badly as they treated us LGBTQ+ people. Our rights, our pie, not theirs. Educating bigots doesn't work. Revenge is faster and more efficient.

I was in high school at the time as well, and I distinctly remember the corporate media environment surrounding that story. Time Magazine actually printed a letter about Matthew Shepard, written by a virulently homophobic pastor who spouted off about hellfire and sin. In other words, they saw that letter, and thought, oh yeah, that's a perfectly acceptable take to share with our readers. 🤦‍♀

@@FrozEnbyWolf150 Yeah, a lot of kids don't realize how bad things were when we pointed out all along who these people been trying to drag us back to.

@@DarDarBinks1986 The best revenge is living well, that's why the RIght scrambles so hard to make sure we don't.

Oh how I love going to the gender clinic everyday after school to grab my daily dose of t to put in my cereal the next day before going to the doctors to get my surgeries :)

definitely not uncomfortable and expensive, nope!

Also the signs are explained away "your just a tomboy" "why cant you just be a masculine girl" its equally transphobia and misogyny, they dont think afab trans ppl can think for themselves.

Honestly one of my favorite part of every lefttuber's career -- I'm depressed that they exist, but live for the dunking.

fr

Frrrrrr i got these both wheb i came out "your to young your moving to fast" and "you should've known sooner if you were really trans"

And it's with like absolutely everything. If we dress more in line with what "stereotypical" of our gender people will say we're putting on a costume. If we don't we're told we're not even trying and just doing it for attention. If we're straight after coming out then we're told we're "victims of gay conversation therapy" and that we're lesbians or gay men. If we're gay/lesbian after coming out we're told we're "invading gay spaces"

I deeply feel you a lot on this! It's not only disheartening to see bias and hatred against trans men and transmasc persons, but it's also infuriating because people in online spaces (who are supposed to support us) end up gobbling down TERF and radfem rhetoric, plus the "femininity = superiority" rhetoric that no one wants to admit is harmful (because no gender expression is superior or inferior to another) to online and offline trans communities. Not only that, but those who are supposed to support us end up uncritically believing a lot of TERF/GC and radfem bullshit, especially against trans guys and transmascs... even to make them feel like shit about being themselves.

Denial isn't 'being the adult.'

I think that your observation is probably correct. My experience has been that most people don't seem to care much one way or the other, and are very accepting. I think that they just see me as another person who is a little bit unique.

It’s not an either/or situation, though. Sure, most people don’t actively hate transgender people, but a lot of those people still don’t actively support them. Furthermore, many don’t condemn the people who are malicious and hateful. It’s not 100% their fault, since we are all conditioned to believe it’s correct to always consider both sides of an issue. Only some of us break that programming or had the fortune of never getting programmed in the first place. I don’t want to come off like a total doomer. We have made tremendous progress in a relatively short time. I just won’t give people credit before they prove they’ve earned it.

@@emilytrott I’m very happy to hear that.

@@JoshuaWillis89 Thank you! :-)

Nor does she get that trans people who weren't out in high school, are coming out in their 20s-60s. Often with a lifetime of living in less fulfilled than had they come out earlier.

@@515aleon well if people could determine they were trans without being an impressionable teen then that kinda tears apart her argument. She can’t admit that it isn’t a new “fad”

How can sex be "assigned" ??

it's shrier, of course she means afab transmasc people

@@oba3794 It’s your birth gender either AFAB (assigned female at birth) or AMAB (assigned male at birth)

So, in middle-school/high-school (when I began it was 7-to-9, when I graduated it was 7-to-12) I experienced testicular torsion...I recall hearing the doctor mention that I was an hour away from losing my dick and balls because of blood-loss to that area. I didn't know that "transgender" was a thing until at least 6 years later, when I was in college. And had I known that being trans was even a thing, this would have been the PERFECT time to begin transition to femme since I was barely into my first/AMAB puberty! Instead, I just have Myspace and AOL Instant Messenger and RuneScape accounts and Mii's and Facebook profiles and secondary emails and RU-vid accounts and pages upon pages of D&D characters from 1st Edition to 5th Edition where the entire conceit is "Me, but a girl". I'm pretty sure I have more dating app profiles where I'm marked as "F seeking either" than I have where I'm identified as "M". Which I guess cis-men people don't do.

@@onijester56 Same with the D&D characters. It started with a cute rapier-wielding sylph fighter when we switched from 3.5e to PF. In the time since then I have made, uh… about 2 male PF characters? And multiple pages of female characters, which have gotten increasingly overtly horny over time. I also used to not correct people on discord when they assumed from my speech patterns and (at the time) hyper-aggressive, prudish feminism that I was a girl. Oh and I played a girl on Spiral Knights. Back in the Runescape days there was enough stigma against G.I.R.L.s (remember that acronym? Guy In Real Life?) that it never occurred to me to play a girl… even though I _did_ often find my character to be lame, even though he was just me but an adult. Also my first two Dragonfable characters were guys… but eventually when I made a rogue I just kinda decided to make her a girl and then I never played either of my male characters again.

Dennis Prager and others of his ilk should all be locked up for endangering minorities. Our right as trans people to exist nullifies and voids his fake "freedom of speech". To hell with letting bigots have OUR rights and pie! I'm sick of letting bigots have First Amendment protections. It's time to take those protections away from the bigots and give them to us only. Whoever said rights aren't zero-sum lied because history has shown that they are. The world is a zero-sum game.

@@DarDarBinks1986 nice trollpost, jackass. first amendment still stands.

@@DarDarBinks1986 Conservatives are mask-on fascists

It's a catch-22 for trans people. Show signs when we're kids and we're "too young to know", and if we found out when we're older, we "can't be trans because we never show signs in childhood". Absolutely fuckin transphobic.

It's easier to fling poop than to clean it up.

YES!!! "We let kids know that trans men exist, and suddenly a bunch of trans men have the vocabulary to describe themselves! Clearly this is horrible." - Literally the same recycled argument used to say that homosexuality wasn't appropriate for children...

Honestly the invented phenomenon about 'rapid onset gender dysphoria' is no different from parents who spent a very long time forcing their own kids into conformity and trying to stop them being gay, turning around and saying 'This is so sudden, you must be insane' when you finally stop hiding from them and come out even as gay. It's really about *their* 'shock' when denial doesn't work anymore, not what the kids are or have been going through. Also in a culture that tries to 'blame the parents' if they don't successfully gender-police their kids into conformity, they claim/want to believe so to avoid that 'blame.' Even if it means actually ripping the family apart about it.

Autism was also this mostly boys thing before. Now there is a sharp rise in girls with autism diagnoses. "It must be the youtubes brainwashing them into autism-ism!"/s

@@schnizzyfizz7832 YES!!! This! Also ADHD...and literally every medical issue/drug was primarily studied in men until . Literally medication for ovarian cancer was studied on all cis men. AFAB children (And AFAB people in general) have been ignored by medical studies for literally the entire history of medical studies.

@@schnizzyfizz7832 Admittedly, it seems the definition of 'autism' has expanded somewhat since I was a kid, and it kinda meant those kids who could barely communicate with the rest of the world, and Asperger's was kind of this separate almost always boys thing. Before they went to saying 'spectrum' I heard stuff about how Aspieness in girls goes. By those standards, they coulda tagged me with that, maybe, but I don't see how it' d have made any difference if so. :)

Now I want Reece's to eat while watching Jessie.

& also autism as this life-ruining thing to fear, much like how transphobes frame trans people & transitioning as life-ruining

@@BooksandBuns yes, ikr? exactly.

Same, but I also know them from YTPs.

Oh, they're more than their RU-vid propaganda, they're a whole Fundie fake 'university' and hate-lobby.

I keep getting their ads.

Only knowing about Prager U because Jessie or other RU-vidrs mention Prager U might be better than some.

@@gentlerat I got their ads like crazy until I got RU-vid red/premium. Still occasionally get PragerU ads in the community tab!🤮🤮🤮

Frankly, the people who demand to abuse trans people who haven't gotten surgery are also the ones doing everything they can to *prevent* trans people from getting that surgery. (Notably, if I believed TERFs about 'transwomen being rapists' I'd be all *for* them getting surgery without freaking delay. Interesting how those hate-propagndists take the opposite stance just like their Fundie masters want. )

@@OllamhDrab Its just like the "we hate late term abortions, so we'll make you wait to get an abortion"

I mean you felt the need to express your disgust .. what's the difference ??

@@OllamhDrab How can you stop someone from getting a surgery ???

@@kimmmimemwest1895 That's how I feel towards people who have no respect for things LGBTQ related, I don't want to feel disgusted but when people refuse to accept things are progressing, that goes out the window