How PTSD Affects Cops 

My friend Trevor was a firefighter and paramedic who struggled severely with PTSD after seeing horrible things no human should ever have to see. He took time off work to recover and get help. His first day back at work was also his last day at work...And on earth. A little girl died in his arms as he was trying to revive her. That was the end all, be all for Trevor. He went home, wrote a heartfelt note and took his life. He was 28. I love you Trevor Murphy! Miss you buddy and see you on the other side ❤ May God bless and protect the brave first responders and men and women of the military. Thank you for fighting to keep us safe ❤ God

You’re an inspiration to all police officers

I have a friend who is a cop. He deals with traumatic stuff with jokes and laughter. He says they get A LOT of heat for it, as people think they are being uncaring and insensitive, but it's really how they cope. It's not meant to disrespect anyone.

Thanks for service I know a lot of people don’t appreciate it but you risk your life everyday

"Let's talk about PTSD, it's no joke" *Major key happy dubstep starts playing*

Memory loss is a key indicator of PTSD, unable to remember important facts about the event is also a classic sign of PTSD. Thank you for sharing your post. Be safe.

Saddest call I had ever been on: A father had severe clinical depression and suicidal tendencies from his medication. He had called his kids school telling the kid to ride the bus to mom's house. The kid tried getting ahold of his dad for 4 days before he finally called us. We went out to the fathers house with a search warrant, kicked the door after five minutes of calling his name, and we smelled death right away. This guy had shot himself in the head and had 7 empty liquor bottles laying around his body. He had a 45 caliber handgun in his right hand and a picture of his son and ex wife in his left. I will never forget that day until I breathe my last breath on this earth...

"Blessed are the peace makers they shall be called children of god “ video proves this, even though he knew the subject was dead he tried to bring him back to life. May god bless you further officer401

I was forced to retire due to PTSD, but received no treatment for it. This led to self medication with alcohol. I went through hell for years until I found a counselor who was also in AA, who helped me recall and deal with the traumatic incidents and get past them. Thank God I'm finally free, for the most part, from the screwed up thinking and nightmares. Thanks for your service and putting this out there.

No matter how much you don't think it will, this job takes a little bit of your soul and humanity every time. I'm so lucky to have family and friends who always put back those pieces of my soul back and keep me human.

I'm in my 15th year, you nailed it. Great topic, great video. This is a real problem that needs to be talked about more. There isn't anything to be embarrassed about, PTSD doesn't make you weak, it makes you human!

I went from dispatching for over 3 years, to being a new rookie on the streets this year in July. I knew a little bit of what is expected, due to my father being a chief of police. I love this job, but hate how the lifestyle/job effects my love ones. Stay safe yall!!!!

I was med-evac from Iraq in 2007 due to injuries from an IED. I can't go to July 4th fireworks. I can't be in crowded areas. And for some reason, I started a new symptom; a hatred for police officers. How DARE they pull me over for an infraction. I fought and nearly died for this country and this punk ass wants to give ME a citation (even with a Purple Heart plate)? I HATED them. A pure feeling of detest for officers. And then, at a gas station, I dropped my soda on the ground. On the other side of the pump was a local officer. He grabbed my soda before I could get it (I must walk with a cane permanently). Then we had a conversation. This is when I learned that officers can and do have PTSD. Talking to him was like talking to a fellow Marine. He became a person that I dispised to someone that I can trust and have full respect for. I did and went through a lot for my country. They do so much for our community. Officers don't get the respect they deserve. Officer401; I hope you read this post as it's proof that just having a conversation with someone can change their life as I was suffering from depression and thoughts of suicide (a staggering 22 soldiers commit suicide daily from PTSD). Thank you for this video!!

I was a police officer in Northern Ireland for 23 years in Northern Ireland until getting a medical out 2 years ago due to PTSD, depression and anxiety. Been with my partner for 29 years and we have 3 kids. Doing this job came a hairs breath away from costing me everything I value in life - my family. I was spending all my time helping everyone else’s family/issues while my own was crumbling. I have taken on many challenges and battles in my life but this one knocked me on my butt for at least two years, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, couldn’t communicate properly with family because it felt like I would contaminate my home life with the stuff I had to deal with. When the damn breaks it can do so pretty suddenly in the end, my resilience disappeared overnight. 2 years on and getting stronger every day, it has taken much self reflection and the patience and understanding of my family. Don’t doubt your feelings folks, if you are struggling seek help and invest willingly and openly in it. Take care👊☘️

I am firefighter I saw a lot of nasty stuff in my career first death in my job was a kid. it happened a couple of months ago I still affect me in life.

I've been doing body removal for 2 years going from scene to scene daily across the county I've had to pick up friends and family of friends and it really sucks sometimes but at the end of the day I feel like it just opens your eyes to how real the world around you is, it's never affected me negatively or kept me up at night but its 100% changed who I am as a person and how I see the world.

As a long time Paramedic, I can understand what you go through on a weekly basis. We see a lot of things that no one should ever have to see. I have been diagnosed with PTSD and am medically retired now and go through therapy every week and have been for about a year. I have a loving wife that puts up with me (I really don't know how) and supports me as well as two loving children grown and gone from home now. They do stay in touch and see me every week or so. It really does help to talk to someone about all the things that go on in our lives. Best of luck to you and thanks for your videos. Love them. If it does get to the point you need to talk to someone, go and do it. Don't let your job do to you what mine did to me.

My dad is a DRAF medic veteran, and is in ems for 27 years now. He has ptsd for the second time now. It's so darn hard to help someone with ptsd. Stay safe!!!!

"Long periods of boredom, interrupted by moments of sheer terror". Sounds exactly like World War I

My dad had severe PTSD as a WWII veteran-my bro published his memoirs in To Serve With Honor edited by Bernard M Woodland, at Amazon. He joined a 101st Airborne Division reunion group and being with his brothers helped him lift the depression he had suffered from for years. He started marching in the Veteran's Day parade, and with writing is memoirs got the emotional peace he had been missing his whole life. Living with him was hell on earth, he had the homicidal tendencies that many with PTSD suffer from, and went off in rages. Recently they have found that these rages are a symptom of depression. They are also beginning eye therapy where they are showing you how to move your eyes when you are in a flashback, sort of erasing the incident. Also it really helps to have an exercise buddy and work out together at least weekly. It is also nice to meet with a group for breakfast or participating in a sport.

You hit the nail on the head. Great video at the right time. I cover this as well for corrections. Always a worthy and needed topic. Thank you

I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD. Both as a security officer working in an ER, and in my personal life. Up until I was diagnosed, I had always assumed PTSD was something that was reserved for soldiers. It’s not, you are absolutely correct. You can be a victim of domestic abuse, be in a stressful situation, even the loss of a loved one. There are specific things that are called triggers. Triggers can be a smell, a song, a visual that triggers the emotional response in the brain to make you flash back to that specific tragic time. A big one for me, was my first response to a patient who coded. They put him on a gurney and the nurse was too short to do compressions so I held her up while she was doing the compressions two inches from his face as the life left him. To this day I can’t recall his face either, just the eyes as they went blank. Everything else was crystal clear. So I guess I just came to say thank you for bringing awareness to this issue. I didn’t realize just how emotionally detached I had become from everything that was “tough” to deal with for other people. I no longer cried at death. It was just a part of life. I am a firm believer that talking about it and getting help is the most important thing a person can do. Awareness is so important, so friends and family can recognize the signs and get that person help. It’s not weakness to ask for help. It takes more strength to ask for help than you know.

I can actually identify, with this. I've been in a shooting. To this, day can't remember it. I've seen suicide, death, and the tragic problems of life. You are the person, who shows up to solve it. I have great appreciation to my brothers and sisters. Get help if you need it, I did.

Love to see people like you getting awareness out there thank you officer 401!

How courageous of you to talk about the worst you've seen to thousands of people. I hope other people follow your footsteps and speak up to someone too.

I grew up in a very abusive situation. I have lived through horrible things and have witnessed those I love not make it through. I put myself through intense psychotherapy to battle depression and have gained control over my life. It takes strength and courage to get help. You are strong enough to do this for yourself and family.

Pray to god those memories stay hidden away because when they come back, try to be ready. I'm speaking with experience.

Respect. I cannot imagine. Thanks for putting this out there.

Thank you Officer 401 for helping bring attention to this very important issue.

thank you for your service officer 401

You're description on how you deal with stress, how the brain handles the events to be forgotten, tragic memories etc. It is indeed the exact same method I use in dealing with horrific moments of the past. Thanks for the video.

I appreciate your courage in talking about this “taboo” topic.

Just got done talking about this kind of stuff in CIT/Mental health, definitely no joke

When I did five years doing healthcare security I worked at a hospital. Even those memories still haunt me. It doesn't compare to those on the street but I think people don't think about what people working in hospital emergency department sees either .

I’m a week from graduating the academy. Through out the classes instructors would ask our goals for our career and mine has always been patrol for 10-15 years, ranking up as possible, while chipping away at a psychology degree that would earn me the position to then finish my career as a department psychologist who’s not just some shrink but one that took the calls too. I’m ignorant of all the ins and outs that are currently in place for this problem but I’m a huge advocate of anonymity and no fault admissions. Thank you for bringing this topic up.

Civilian here. I can definitely relate to the post traumatic stress. I have survived a major earthquake, come home to find my neighbor's house on fire, been in a fire at school, had brain surgery, had my gallbladder removed, had emergency surgery, and nearly died from a critical medical mistake, all by age 22. Like you, my memory isn't exactly Einstein level in my every day life, I can remember all the details of these events as if they just happened. I can still hear the roar of the ground moving beneath my feet, the flashes of power lines falling, smell the thick, choking smoke, feel the intense heat, hear the screaming fire alarms, and the sheer terror I felt when I found that my body would not cooperate with me after one of my doctors- someone I trusted- gave me a medication that had a life-threatening interaction with one of my other meds without realizing it. I went to therapy once I was able to, and I learned how to deal with the memories that were haunting me so that I wouldn't panic every time I was reminded of them.

Thank you...helps me understand my coworkers in fire dept better also. Stay safe!!

I have been diagnosed with PTSD. You described it almost perfectly. The human mind has the ability to alter memories to protect itself. I pray every day for the unsung heroes. The ones that deal with the worst society has to offer so my family can feel safe. I've never had the opportunity to thank you for your service as an officer, so thank you Officer401

I'm so glad you spoke on this. I have 7 years in corrections between state and county and I have noticed a dramatic change in my ability to deal with normal day to day stress. Shit that shouldn't de a big deal. I have become so cynical...even overly judgmental. Verbal disputes I used any excuse to turn physical. I left Corrections for this reason. This is not what I was raised to be. Hats off to those that make it a life long career and control that inner demon that arises from being around such negativity on an every day basis.

it’s amazing how our minds protect us by blocking bad memories or experiences. thank you for doing this video, this topic is so important!

I just retired after 14 years and I'm still having a hard time getting back to normal

My hard drive broke in the 15th year. I’m medically retired now, sober for 5 years, got my family back, and am blessed. Every day is a struggle, yet I was a lucky one that found help. Don’t fear seeking help folks! God bless

Thank you for sharing this. As a law enforcement officer myself, I too have seen my share of death and despair, and it's best to be able to talk to someone about it. This mindset of keeping these tings to yourself as I was told when I was being trained has to stop. We're losing too many brothers and sisters in blue to suicide and PTSD. Please talk about it to someone, get it off of your chest and find someone to confide in. Keep up the fight!

Thank you for sharing this with us.

Tons of respect to you 401, and every first responder.

Thank you! EMDR, helped me a great deal! Take care and be safe!

Your memory loss explanation hit hard. Thank you, it explains a lot.

Thank you so much!!! As a firefighter I needed to hear this. I’ve had pretty rough calls and this has helped allot

Great video. Liked the part explaining about the things you have to deal with and how everything else seems insignificant. Keep spreading the word and showing people how cops are just people too and that it's not always an easy career.

This is probably one of your best videos. I haven't been in law enforcement very long, but I can already relate to a lot of what you have said. This is a real "mental injury" that many people face, especially first responders. I think awareness and dialogue are the best tools we can share with one another. Thanks for doing this one.

Thank you for talking about this 👊

Mad Respect to you, I appreciate you for who you are, I’m getting into law enforcement and will consider your tips and advice! Thank you.

I've been watching your videos for a long time and I've recently joined my city fire department. I haven't seen much bad stuff yet but my crew has still been very supportive and encouraged me to be open with them if I need to talk about anything. I'm glad I got placed on a crew with that mentality.

Thank you for posting this topic. I was there on that day 18 yrs ago. Not a single day goes by that I don’t think about it. I love the job and love being in the streets. Getting help is not an easy thing due to the nature of the job. I stay focused for my family. Stay strong.

Seriously Thank you! You are an awesome resource for better understanding what my lady (gf and officer) goes through. I am heartbroken for all who have to endure or witness situations of such evil or ugliness and also charged up to be the partner/support for my 1st responder. I am learning alot from you and I am very grateful!

Thank you so much for adressing this! I an not in the emergency services but suffered something a while back this has really helped! Knowing its a lot more common than I actually think.

Thank you for this video. You have helped me to better handle and deal with others with PTSD. I am a critical care nurse, but have friends that are in law enforcement.

Thank you so much for making this video!

Veterans are risking their lives to protect our country and law enforcement keeping the neighborhood safe are both tough job. I’m glad they are around willing to sacrifice and do whatever takes to keep us safe. Thank you for all your work. God bless you.

Real talk all the way officer and we appreciate you for this channel and for your service.

I love your vids b/c you are straight up real. You're just a regular guy doing a job(s) he loves for all the right reasons. No dramatics, hyperbole, bravado. Wish more cops were like you. Truth. Integrity. Servant leader. Thank you.

Awesome video, and absolutely true. I have noticed things for my life have changed since becoming a LEO...most important is that none of us fight alone, we are a family...if we need help we need to reach out.

This one meant a lot. It took me years to admit I had PTSD from the job. It took my girlfriend sleeping next to my side for a few weeks seeing me wake up in a panic from nightmares every night. I didn't want to admit it was an issue, and was in denial about it until I started talking about it. Don't be embarrassed like I was. Seeking help can only be beneficial.

OMG, this vid caused a flashback for me, 23 years ago... a brand new paramedic.... was called to a residence at about 4:30am for a 6 year old girl unresponsive.... we arrived on scene to find her in cardiac arrest, we did everything in our power to no avail.... I can remember every detail of that night, when we got to the hospital, she was pronounced DOA, her mother (rather large woman) clung to me sobbing for at least 20 minutes.........even though there is nothing I could do, I still felt guilty.... I couldn't sleep for 3 days and probably smoked an entire carton of cigs in those 3 days :( even now I still find myself wondering... is there something else I could have done. but there is ONE thing am sure of..... Sarah has been in a better place since 13 September 1996 I have done a good job of putting this incident out of my head for the past 10 years, but "SURPRISE" this vid brought it back as if it were yesterday

Thank you so much for this video. You are very brave. Never underestimate the ability of those who can see the truth. You are helping those who remain silent. They don’t have to be in law enforcement to feel your struggle. Take care my friend.

401 ....you are a stud...Don't change. America needs people like you.

Less than 1 year after retirement I was diagnosed with PTSD and anxiety disorder. All stems from the job. 401 is right. This is more common than you think and nothing to play around with.

This was a great video sir. Thank you for your service.

Thankyou for making this video brother, its a hard subject to speak about for most of us dealing with it.

Thanks for Bringing This up 401. I have a Mile Case Of PTSD l From Working At A Store Was Held UP 4 Time 1 At Gun Point Could not find Eney One To Take Mr serious Lee Now Loud Noise's Blow My concentration. And Can't Deal with Of LOUD yelling. Went to Consider Thay Gave Me Some diversion exercises it Helps Some.

Great video. Heartbreaking to me, but so good and so needed. Cops need other cops to acknowledge this is a problem.

Pure honesty that’s an admirable trait

Great video and theme message - the negative outcomes from PTSD are very serious and anything that can turn that around is a fantastic positive

Thank you all First Responders. Thank you 401 for your service I live in Georgia and I'm Thinking bout joining LEO in the future but thank you for the advice and your inspiration I watch your videos daily and I just wanna say thank you for Inspiring me to know what it feels like to be a cop Thank you for everything you do. May God be with you all the way to your last day. -Thank you for your service

Thank you for what you do and all the information you share. Love this channel

Great video from Wales 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

I completely understand what you’re saying. I’ve been in law enforcement for 26 years and prior to that I spent 6 years in fire rescue and I can completely understand all of it. The things I’ve seen have changed me so much. I can still remember everything that I’ve seen. They haunt me from time to time and I never know when they will come up. Thank you so much for making this video.

Thank you for making this! 👏♥️

Thanks 401 for bringing light to a real issue. A real serious issue facing law enforcement and first responders. It's so hard for public servants to speak out, mainly because of crappy leaders in some departments and the judgement/stigma that comes with asking for help. As police officers we're so used to being the ones people ask for help and the ones who solve other people's problems. We sometimes forget to solve our own problems from within and neglect ourselves in the process. Love the channel and wish I would have discovered it sooner. Your videos are very interesting and informative. Pretty damn funny at times also! As a leo I appreciate what you do on RU-vid and the knowledge you bring to leos and anyone aspiring to become a leo. Anyone interested in becoming a cop should really consider whether or not they're willing to risk ptsd at some point in their career. For fellow cops, never ever be afraid to seek help and don't be afraid to tell crappy department heads to shove it if they aren't receptive!

So well said. It really hit me at 9:20 min because never have I heard somebody explaining it so clearly. But from my experience that actually is the best way to describe the most difficult thing to deal with being a first responder. 👍🏻 I think everyone thinking about choosing to work in law enforcement/ medicine/ becoming a fire fighter etc should watch this (and also the significant others of those people who already have to deal with it). Thanks for your work man (on and off camera).

Love the vids brother. You and the family stay BLESSED!

The more I learn about the cops' life and so many horrible things they deal with, the more I respect them. A million thank you is not enough!

Thank you for your service. It sure is sad how it affects some people.

Also, humor, no matter how dark, can be a literal life saver. Take care officer, you're a good one!!

Thanks for sharing your story. PTSD is real for any of us in this line of work. I relate so much. Sometimes it’s a blessing to have our memories forgotten. Your story is helpful for those that might want to get into the profession and to help family of officers. I agree therapy works helps. Getting helps makes us stronger.

Thank you so much for being one of the good officers. Pretty sure I now have PTSD after having something happen with a bad officer. If a police car gets behind me I have to pull off the road no matter what. Watching this made me think about an officer with PTSD coming in contact with a civilian with PTSD. Both kind of afraid of each other. Think it’s sad that someone can be kind of afraid of another that they’ve never met because of what’s happened to them in their pasts

I Gotta admit, watching your videos is making me change my views towards law enforcement. Glad I subscribed to this channel

Thanks for the advice man

Thanks Mate for your story, It has helped me ... I served 29 years in Australia & have PTSD ... The Lord Bless you sir.

Thanks for another vid 401!

You are a strong human being. I can tell you are being tough and maybe trying trying to hide what u have been through. But its obvious through this vid its somewhere in there and u want to show no weakness. I applaud u and dont pretend u are not human. You are human and thank You for this video. I have loved all your videos but this one really made me think differently about yourself and other cops.

Thank you for sharing

It takes a person from a different cut of life that can deal with these things. This is one of the big reasons why i thank cops and first responders, and troops every time i see them. Thank you to all of u guys for what u do and keep us safe.

Thank you to all police officers 👮‍♂️thank u so much for your service

I loved this video so much! I have a little PTSD because I was involved in unfortunate serious car accident nearly four years ago and I was a driver. It has left me with multiple serious fractures. My mind just filtered out this whole day so I don't recall anything. I subconsciously have fear to drive but I can manage it. I just can't imagine what people go through when they can remember everything in detail and deal with PTSD for the rest of their life. As always thank you for the great content. Stay safe and take care of yourself Officer401. 💙

Really touching and powerful video man. Thank you for sharing. ⚫️🔵⚫️

Just found this channel and found a lot of interesting videos! You really explain it too well!

Just wanted to shout out to 401. I've followed your channel since before you hit 5k subs. Even emailed back and forth a few years ago about getting into this line of work. Glad to say I've started my career in Law Enforcement. Currently as a Correctional officer at a prison where I live. Just wanted to let you know even in a little town a few states away your making a difference.

Thanks for being the senior officer we all need 👍

Thank you for your service