How To Be More Socially Attractive - Charlie Houpert 

LES GOH. Here's the timestamps: 00:00 Intro 03:44 Understanding Charisma 09:17 Charlie’s Biggest Influences 13:17 Definition of Introvert & Extrovert 21:21 The Problem with Hustle Culture 29:50 Principles for Charismatic Communication 37:13 Charisma Lessons from Russell Brand 41:13 How to Overcome Shyness 48:36 How to Flirt with Women 59:32 How to Add Humour into a Conversation 1:07:59 Ben Shapiro & The Problem with Modern Debating 1:12:52 How Charlie Got His Whole Family to Take MDMA 1:23:57 Opportunities to Reprogram Yourself 1:41:54 Where to Find Charlie

This was great :) even though I was hoping for more beauty tips 😉

Having “strong opinions held loosely, rather than loose opinions held loosely” is the key to a more harmonious way of life… Brilliant sentence.

Chris, you’re probably the best podcaster I ever listened to. Better than the big ones.

00:00 🏋 Charisma is like fitness; most people neglect it, but a small effort can make you stand out. 03:51 🧠 Charisma has various styles: high conviction (e.g., Conor McGregor), authentic (e.g., Joe Rogan), funny (e.g., Kevin Hart), energetic (e.g., Will Smith), and empathetic (e.g., Oprah Winfrey). 06:10 🔄 Changing yourself for charisma isn't self-betrayal; it's evolving to be the best version while retaining your essence. 08:30 💪 Personality is shaped by past experiences; evolving involves unlearning patterns from younger years. 11:45 📚 Books like "Six Pillars of Self-Esteem" emphasize that confidence is earned through behavior, not an inherent birthright. 14:47 🔄 Introversion and extroversion are about where you get energy; it's fluid, influenced by both genes and experiences. 17:18 🔄 Unintended consequences: Pursuing constant socializing for charisma can create anxieties and new neuroses; true choice is essential. 19:13 🔄 Be cautious about dedicating yourself to certain pursuits in your early years (18 to 25), as they may become obstacles later. Consider the potential challenges of unwinding commitments. 21:48 🔄 Advantages in one phase of life can become obstacles in the next. Recognize when the strategies that brought you success need to be reevaluated and adapted for future growth. 23:13 🔄 The video discusses concerns about "hustle culture," emphasizing the importance of working effectively over working harder. Balancing life and avoiding burnout is crucial. 30:06 🤔 When initiating a conversation, set the vibe a level higher than necessary to be a conversational leader. Avoid literal responses to common questions and provide multiple hooks for the other person to connect with. 31:18 🔄 Instead of answering questions literally, offer responses that provide interesting hooks for the other person to connect with, creating more engaging and dynamic conversations. 34:04 🔄 Breaking away from implicit social norms in the workplace by injecting fun into interactions can foster human relationships, leading to professional success. 35:42 🔄 Charisma levels are not infinitely malleable, but anyone can considerably improve their charisma. Not everyone can transform drastically, but improvement is achievable. 37:21 💬 Russell Brand's charisma principles include treating everyone flirtatiously, using a push-pull dynamic in communication, and exhibiting unpredictability, suggesting authenticity. 38:57 💬 Russell Brand's unpredictability in responses adds authenticity, making him fascinating to listen to. The ability to switchbetween jokes and sincere, value-driven answers makes his communication style captivating. 39:25 🎭 Authenticity is crucial; some public figures may raise questions about their true selves if their stories always have the same punchline. 40:08 🤝 Russell Brand excels in authentic communication, maintaining curiosity and playfulness even in political or spiritual disagreements. 41:35 🦸‍♂ Overcoming shyness involves progressive exposure therapy; start by saying one extra sentence to lower the filter on what's acceptable to express. 43:28 🗣 Finish sentences with the same decibel level you started; practice deliberate conversational assertiveness for shy individuals. 45:20 🔄 Balancing deliberate skill-building with being in the flow ofconversation is crucial for growth in communication. 46:45 ⏰ Deliberate practice, similar to Tiger Woods rebuilding his swing, may involve stepping back initially to improve conversational skills. 48:41 💬 Principles for men communicating attractively to women: show interest, have genuine standards, and manage sexual tension. 54:16 🌐 In small talk, focus on playful world-building; engage in improvisational fantasy scenarios to create a fun and flirty vibe. 56:24 🚀 When discussing your job, speak to your values rather than just logistics; share what drives you and your life philosophy. 57:59 🌐 Most men go wrong by not engaging in conversation; they often disqualify themselves before speaking, missing opportunities for genuine connection. 58:55 🌐 Flirting with the world, being outgoing and friendly habitually, creates a powerful social presence that feels natural and engaging. 59:22 🤣 Adding humor to conversations involves having both a genuine answer and a playful response to common questions, providing a balance of authenticity and lightheartedness. 01:00:56 😄 An easy way to inject humor is by saying the opposite of what people expect, creating unexpected moments that induce laughter. 01:01:24 🎭 Prime yourself for humor by watching content from comedians you enjoy before social interactions, influencing your mindset and conversation style. 01:02:34 🤩 Tim Dillon is praised for his rapid and clever humor, showcasing the value of quick-wittedness in communication and comedy. 01:03:17 🎭 Improv comedy classes are recommended for those serious about developing humor, offering valuable skills in world-building, quick thinking, and comedic timing. 01:04:41 🗣 Effective communicators like Tony Robbins, Oprah Winfrey, and Bill Clinton excel in storytelling and creating a sense of safety for open conversation. 01:07:30 🌟 Kevin Hart's ability to command attention and lead conversations, even with a significant height difference, highlights his exceptional communication skills. 01:09:01 💬 In debates, using humor strategically, as seen in Ben Shapiro's tactics, can be powerful in discrediting opponents and winning social approval. 01:12:05 😄 Stephen Fry's ability to inject humor into debates can bridge gaps and humanize individuals with opposing views, fostering better understanding. 01:13:57 🌈 Psychedelic therapy, particularly with MDMA, facilitated significant positive changes in Charlie's life, leading to transformative family experiences and a sense of purpose. 01:17:28 🌌 Exploring the concept of psychedelic therapy is recommended, acknowledging it may not be suitable for everyone but emphasizing its potential for profound personal growth. 01:19:40 🔄 Early childhood experiences, especially in the family, shape one's understanding of concepts like love and power, forming lifelong "accents" in these areas. 01:20:22 🤝 Recognizing and respecting parental wisdom, even if they lack knowledge in modern technologies, is crucial for personal growth and avoiding the dismissal of valuable advice. 01:21:47 🔄 Life involves a continual process of self-discovery, where what serves you at one stage may become problematic later. The challenge is to navigate these changes and find a balance. 01:23:09 💔 Overcompensating to avoid past pains can lead to unhealthy behaviors, and the willingness to experience discomfort is essential for personal growth. 01:25:40 💰 Achieving financial and other goals may not provide lasting fulfillment; the mindset and thought patterns play a crucial role in one's happiness. 01:29:10 🤔 The pursuit of goals can become an endless cycle if not grounded in self-awareness, leading to perpetual dissatisfaction and the constant moving of goalposts. 01:31:55 🔄 Anticipatory beings, humans often find the most enjoyment in the anticipation of events, and dissatisfaction is inherent in our nature. 01:34:56 🔄 Unrealistic idealism is wired into human nature, and recognizing that the imagined satisfaction of an experience will always exceed the reality can lead to a more content life. 01:37:15 🔄 Pursuing external validation, such as charisma and social approval, may not significantly enhance one's subjective experience of life; the real joy often lies in appreciating the present moment and reality. 01:40:55 💡 The journey towards enlightenment involves navigating disappointment and frustration rather than achieving a state of perpetual satisfaction.

Having something interesting to say exponentially creates charisma. This comes from actually developing an interesting value, be knowledgeable, be valuable, be interesting

One of the best podcasts I’ve listened to lately. Two of my favorite personalities! 🔥

I never comment but this is worth my time. These are the two fellas, along with Ben, that have changed the way that I think and live. It's great to finally see this collab. This is the type of conversation that I strive for in my own life. I really appreciate the work that these two are doing. Thanks!

I think it’s important to remember that being yourself can be different in one moment to the next.

Just finished 6 pillars of self-esteem after hearing about it on here! Such a great book!

“One of the things guys miss out is having genuine standards” 😂 he said that so sincerely.

I’ve always talked about how anticipation is better than the actual thing, and haven’t heard someone else articulate it so well! Thank you!

This is probably one of the best podcast episodes I’ve ever listened to! Thank you for this gem gentlemen. Will definitely be revisiting this one time and time again

The thing about the shyness filter and conversational assertiveness is so spot on.

This is one of the greatest conversations of all time . Yall covered stuff I think about every day.

The Bill Clinton thing is true. I was one of those people in a line to meet him and he absolutely made every single person I could see, have that important moment with him. Every single person thought he was so warm and comfortable. He hardly had to say anything to convey that feeling. He had that air. And just saying “thank you” he made it feel so genuine. It’s like he is so comfortable in himself that he doesn’t need to say much to make you feel comfortable and important.

Learn to find people fascinating and you will draw most people to you. People really enjoy being seen and heard. Be open hearted and generous and you will have others respond the same way to you.

I've listened 30 something minutes in, and I keep thinking that I'm listening to a person that plays video games and wakes up at 11am on how to be attractive, yeah right dude. ✅️

Charlie is a legend, really helped out my social abilities with some good advice.

Being the eldest son for 5 siblings and 2 working class parents, when Charlie got to the part where he talks about his family it hit me on a very deep level I didn't know existed up until now. Thank you Chris for this podcast, it was amazing to listen to!

I love these dudes. Such positive influences for everyone especially us men. Big ups guys. Y’all are doing some very good work 👍

I remember years ago when I started bartending and discovered Charisma on Command. Looking back on how many things I learned from Charlie and how useful they are to this day. Great interview, love the reminder to be present in life rather than anticipating the next dopamine hit

I was thinking it would be great if you had talked to Charlie and/or Ben. I love charisma on command, it has given me tools in life that have made a real difference. They are both great!

Extraordinarily engaging and insightful conversation. Thank you both.

15:00 Great point about genes vs environmental influence

LOVE THE PODACST. So much learning, acumen and insights I have got!

Definition of charisma;( at 36 seconds in) , saying he gets up at "around 11am" and not looking like he's being judged!

One of the most helpful podcasts I’ve ever watched! Thank you

I thoroughly enjoyed this conversation! So many nuggets of wisdom; I'll definitely need to watch this again to revisit some of the topics discussed.

This guy is legit! He’s sharp, level headed, and genuine! He’s helped me land some talent

The conversation towards the end was so good and so insightful and I didnt realize i needed to hear those things

typically being sober and facing harsh challenges is the best route to becoming stronger

15:15 "Our nature does not predetermine but it does predispose." Fascinating aphorism!

Omgg!! It's so good to see Charlie on your podcast!! I've been a long time fan of his videos!

Just discovered this podcast. Spent my entire day off just listening to several episodes.

I watch both of your podcasts and was super excited to see you both collab, great episode 👍

How did I miss this? Been listening to Charlie for a few years and love his channel.

Always loved charlie

Absolutely fantastic podcast. So much wisdom, I'm literally taking notes!

@ 27:04 I made this realization recently. I started writing down and reflecting on parts of my life that are already the way I want them to be (reflecting on gratitude, too) so that I'm already predisposed to identify that my life is good.

Charlie is awesome. Really like him, and feel we’ve had similar journeys over the years

"Your ability to be idealistic is always going to outstrip realities ability to deliver that to you." - Chris Williamson

So cool listening to him admit that he's made it to the end of the rainbow and the pile of gold ain't all that. Hearing someone admit that their path/ program/ company ISN'T the end all be all to happiness is really refreshing.

You two are by far my two favorite RU-vid people thank you for this conversation you are both brilliant and I appreciate the wisdom I hear from both of you

That is the largest smile I have ever seen. It's wonderful how just some physical features can bring me such joy and positivity.

absolutely love this

I think what makes Chris one of the best interviewers is that he finds out why people say what they say rather than just accepting it at face value.

convicting, challenging & truth! You really have a gift to see & interpret things the general public does not

man, I enjoyed the conversation so much. Its so saturated with value!

Love this guy!

I'm 35 and i'm going through all this that you guys are talking about. Thanks guys this helps alot. Hope you both have a great day!

This was a good and solid episode! I have been following both of you guys for a while, so it was cool seeing you do this! Much love from Norway!

this is one of the realest convos i’ve ever heard. fantastic stuff boys

Two hot guys with amazing smiles and personalities and hyper intense minds, this is what Im looking for.

Wow, incredible discussion!

This is a long video, and yet I have never been so completely captivated that I could not turn it off. Great information, and interviewing. Top performance. 🤩

Well done. Thanks for sharing this conversation. I thoroughly enjoyed hearing his take and listening to your questions.

This is one of the best podcasts I’ve ever watched if not the best

Yay! My two favorite RU-vidrs!! Didn’t see this one coming

This is such a fantastic video. So easy to listen to. Had to share it with several people. ❤

“Self-esteem is your reputation with yourself” “Your nature is not pre-determined, but it is pre-disposed” “The advantages of one phase in your life will be then obstacles in the next” “Strong opinions held loosely, not loose opinions held strongly” “It is far easier to achieve your material desires than to renounce them” Wow... This podcast had way to many quotable mic-drop moments. Great listen! Thanks for this you two!

These longer videos are the ticket. Keep em coming

"self-esteem is your reputation with yourself" something that sounds so obvious once you've heard it. But I honestly never thought about it in that way. Great insight barely 10min into the video bodes well for rest of the interview :)

This was honestly one of the greatest podcasts I have listened to lately. More power to you Chris and Charlie!

Charlie kicks ass :) Great conversation.

I discovered this dude’s RU-vid videos a long time ago and they’ve been helpful but hearing him commentate on his thought process is way more helpful

fantastic episode, life-changing advice

you guys just listened to each other and also talked to each other. That is a great one.

Great talk!

Great guest. Charlie is a very interesting guy. Looking forward to seeing them interview you on their podcast too Chris.

The guy wakes up at 11am and plays video games for rest of day. What an inspiration

As always awesome Chris 🙂

Thank you very much for this amazing podcast.

Great conversation😊

We all need to get better with leaving the marshmallows! Delayed gratification for something real and consistent. I love the dialogue here, so much wisdom, awareness and maturity! I love your talks! ❤I’m 51 and I’ve finally got better at enjoying the journey as well as the learning and humility from the suffering and struggles! 💯desire happens in the anticipation! 🎉

Great discussion. Thanks

Peace be upon you all of you, Just like The Speaker from Charisma on command channel In my young days I was somewhat of a reserved during my teengage years and People would tell they Like my personality. I spoke often infront my peers and even got up to answer question at a conference of about 3000 people. But I benefited alot my channels like Coc and this one. To be more charismatic empathically, energitically and comedically For the young people reading this Go and own your charismatic self.

1:21:14 is why Chris is winning at podcasts. Taking something the guest said an hour ago and flipping it to make it relevant in a new context. Amazing

I love this guys channel it helped me alot with confidence and social skills! God bless

OMG if you like who you are, then just be that!

He wakes up at 11am? Whew he definitely charisma’d me into wanting his life.

There seem to be a great many people who have spent years learning 'charisma' , so can persuade readily, but no effort at all into actually thinking or learning. AOC.

MDMA is the greatest 👍

Great collab. Charisma is somehow both the easiest and the hardest thing to work on and definitely needs more of my intentional effort. Also, what a relief when a video podcast has excellent audio and visual quality.

Love guys who think they’re charismatic but they’re just good-looking so people pay more attention to them

17:17 Wish they had expanded on this... the pressure to always go out even if it's maybe not the natural thing we want to do

Just found out about this podcast. So glad I did. A lot of good information here. Gonna rewatch it again!

I was just thinking it'd be great if you had him on! Great conversation. Love both your podcast and Charlie's

I am discovering alot about myself pretty late in life. Conversations like this are helpful in exploring the different ways of thinking that have been successful for others and bring contrast to the lesser, more self destructive patterns I am working through. Thank you for putting this work out there for us. I wandered around the red-pill space for a while before I found your channel. You helped me sift what I found there for the wisdom it contains while leaving behind the anger and bitterness. You have a certain mindset that draws the best out of people, made starkly clear during your appearance on Rogan. I like his show, but his formula has become a bit stale, and you managed to bring back what we all loved about his podcast that may have been fading. Keep grinding Chris. You are inspiring progress in others that you may never be aware of, but is having a positive impact.

The friend repeating your joke loudly is such a relatable experience. I can't believe it happens with others too.

the opening line got me cuz there's been a lot of stuff happening for me and since it's been happening because I'm not clinically depressed anymore suddenly I'm just exploding and people are just delighted to see me. It's so unusual to my expectations but it happened before I felt like I was even trying, just getting funny jokes being cool relaxed confident and suddenly the world just changed. It's not even hard.

Great podcast Your insight @ 1:30:07 is golden!

Been listening to Charlie for years. Great podcast, fellas.

Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz is a great book if you want to make changes to your personality. Helped me become way more confident and lost the fear of asking women out.

Amazing duo

lovely conversation.

Step 1 of being charismatic. Be attractive. Step 2. N/A

This was so relatable, i think thats part of the charisma, make people feel like your human like them more of a potential friend, i certainly relate with playing LOL, is a addiction if you can quit it, i did and felt better but i can understand the hook, the other thing is the evolution into the acceptance that life is always falls short of expectations, and that is OK, we need to swing from stage to stage as best a we can knowing that perspective is key to find balance in our decisions, really deep stuff and heart-felt.

Great content, my two favourite podcasts! (I'll let you fight between yourselves who's number one)

The best podcast episode I’ve ever witnessed. Helped me a lot honestly. Thanks!