I grew up with the mother that always criticized us. I believe this is why I grew up thin skinned and yes it makes you hold back from conversations or of anything that might put yourself out there for criticism. This video really helped me.
Same here, this came at just the right time as I just visited my mother and I let her affect me, I feel it’s most challenging when loved ones are extremely critical...
I have also. Not only mother, but also aunt and grandma and the neighbors of those people. All narcissists or little IQ .. This woman on the video is so great. Am now 41 yrs and this what I see here on all the videos I already knew that, only because of the negative hassle of all people in my life, you have forgotten all this. I learned everything on the street with friends and strangers. And I saw for myself what is right and wrong. but you don't get much confidence from it. I didn't understand this either. Was all frustrating.
Ironically I was working with a young girl yesterday at my job. She was upset because another young girl, who was a stranger to her, was mocking the way she was saying something. I told the young girl, "The girl is in foster care. She clearly hasn't had a great background. You don't know her and will probably never see her again. Don't let it get to you." I know older people need to hear this as well. But most of the things we get upset over only affect us. The person we're upset with doesn't care or even realize it. And as you said, clearly they have their own issues to begin with.
@@enchanteddryad6500 Oh good Lord, quit getting offended so easily. My point was the poor girl probably had a rough life and needed some understanding. The girl I knew was upset at the girl mocking her so I was trying to get her to look at it from a different perspective. That the girl probably didn't have the best life so not to take her behavior personally. Use your efforts for something more positive than trolling comments & being offended.
I hope that you can find some therapeutic healing. It's obvious that you already are convinced that you do not deserve to be included, treated with respect and much needed empathy. Typically, once we are of the mindset that we are undesirable and undeserving, we tend to play the part. We give random strangers so much power in confirming false beliefs self perceptions. These seemingly insensitive strangers obviously we're treated with less than healthy nurturing care and training. Different people do different things to soothe themselves and avoid pondering their own pain. Sadly, they don't even know the impact their cruelty is having on a given individual. Always remember, hurting people hurt people. Desperate people do desperate things. Try to view these less than informed individuals with compassion and forgiveness. It's not even about you. It's about their own emotional and mental Madness. Somewhere along the line you got the message that you deserve abuse and neglect. That is a false belief. I hope you will reach out to find some healthy support. you will have a powerful story to share with others on how to overcome the prison of our own making. You deserve all good things and a happy life, which you will have if you strive for healthy support. Best wishes and much love to you. Sometimes we live in Chains and we don't even know we have the key. ❤❤❤
I used to think being "thick skinned" is an abusive term until I watched this video. It's a power, an achievement, truly. And, please do an in depth video on social rejection.
Yes getting angry is a choice. The trick is control that emotion. Use the energy of that anger to clear your name/take control of the situation effectively. That is personal. Just do not allow it to consume you negativity. Forgive but do not forget and keep your integrity intact.
Incredible content Tracy! I'm 16 and this video of yours in particular helped me a lot through my troubles with accepting criticism from my peers and teachers. Thanks a lot Xx
Wise words from Tracy again!! We needed someone to say that to us, didn't we? :) Thank You for making us self reflect and not be over sensitive about non- constructive criticism!!
You literally have every single video for all kinds of things. I am binge watching your vidoes since yesterday. You got me with how to be a classy lady. I love it! Keep up the good work💕😘
I aspire to be a better person in so many ways. I’m 63, didn’t have people like you, wonderful lady, in my growing years. I don’t think it’s too late. Never too late! Just found you on RU-vid. Thank you. I’ll be watching for your upcoming video.
Oh my goodness!! As someone who struggles with ALL OF THIS I thank you from the bottom of my heart! Now I’m going to watch this over and over and over! God bless you!
This was a beautiful message, Tracy! I enjoyed your perspective and got so much from it. Thank you for all the thought and planning that you do for each video. It is much appreciated!
Thank You for this video. The young people today not only deal with bullies on the school yard, but then on the internet. There has never been a time where teaching the skill of developing thick skin is needed. Not just children but us adults. Positive wisdom is a different thing. A true wise person loves positive criticism. Who wants a yes, man on their team. Tracy you are teaching true life skills young and old can actually use. So many sensitive souls who have wonderful dreams could change the world with their dreams. And as we can’t change the haters behavior our only option is to change our own. Love the turtle shell idea. Think I will use this with my eight year old grandson who loves turtles to deal with bullies!
Spot on! Biggest lesson, do not respond to negativity! One of my faults is to respond because I have taken something personal. Good lesson! 🙏🏻 Thank you
I think this may literally be your best video yet! You say it like it is Trace! I wish I’d seen this video 10 years ago, as I was raised by parents with limited mindsets to say the least. At 36 I’m learning, growing, and building confidence, and your content has helped me so much. A tear came to my eye when you remind us that someone else looks up to us 💕🌺💋
You DO have it all! Ms. Hensel, thank you for yet another brilliant video, I wish my mother taught me this a long time ago. Thank you for being such a classy role model for us all. Love from Bulgaria :)
WOOOOOOW! Watching your videos, it's like you are reading my mind and answering ALLL my questions. I do not need to turn to any one for validation or clarification. Seriously Ms Tracy, where have you been all my life???
This video came at the perfect time- our 11 year old junior golfer had a tough time yesterday with a negative partner and the boys they were playing against bullying them. It was a perfect storm and she let it get under her skin and mess with her game. Thanks again, Tracy, for such informative and insightful content. Xo Jill
Oh this is a great video! I believe this may be my favorite so far. So important to apply this in my life at this moment. And for all ladies, young and old, to consider this. We need to lift each other up! And realize we ALL have room to be be better. We can take on a bit of critiquing. It’s like going an extra mile on the treadmill. Or swimming 2 more laps. Crunch time baby!
Tracy, thank you for posting this. i sometimes struggle with being too worried about my critics but i needed this reminder that i dont have to allow the negativity to penetrate me. it is my choice afterall. Thanks again.
Getting upset us a choice! Wow! So true yet I have never thought about it like this! Thank you! Unfortunately people we are most prone to let get to our skin are parents and kids...
Great video as always, Tracy! Anytime I am starting out my day and I don’t have a positive attitude, I play one of your videos and, voila, back on track. Thanks for what you do!
THANKYOU AGAIN I HAVE WATCHED THIS TWICE ALREADY AND LOOKING FORWARD TO MORE. (NOTHING TO DO WITH THE VIDEO BUT BEAUTIFUL MAKEUP AND EYE SHADOW) YOUR ALWAYS SO WELL PUT TOGETHER.
Ambition means tying your well being to the opinions of others.... Sanity means tying it to your actions...... The best thing I've heard in a very long time.
SO good Tracy! I remember once a woman of a particular religion was telling me that I should teach my daughter that she should get married. I said, Mother Teresa never married and the woman responded and said, yeah but I don't think she's going to heaven." MY MOUTH DROPPED! 😆I was STUNNED! And believe me she went ON and ON but I will spare the comment section. Just goes to show ANYONE and EVERYONE will have a CRITIC!
My critical 400 lbs mother in law use to criticize all 4 of us daughter in laws and say “ you need thick skin to be a part of this family” as she insulted us in front of others…I swiftly removed her from my life. Meanest woman on the planet. She taught me a lot about EQ.❤ thank you Tracy
I truly appreciate the time you took to create this video. It was all amazing advise. Idk what Im doing with the these kinda videos as I know that I don't have it in me to really do what it is I desire, but I wanted to take the time out to say thank you for being selfless and taking your time to help people. The world needs more people like you.
Tracy, I absolutely love you. So many great tips in this and definitely be watching again. Also loved the becoming a people person. Can’t wait to watch high class lady. Thank you for your work.
Tracy, loved the content and wish I had heard something like this when I was in my teens and early twenties. Now, as a grandmother, I am trying to help my preteen granddaughters navigate a world a bit unfamiliar to me; the world of social media. These kids are blasted 24/7 with negativity. But I must tread lightly here as I do not want to become more of the problem. They are very vulnerable. I am going to give this some thought to come up with a plan, but I intend to cover all of your points-- I will just spread them out a bit and insert them where I can, with love. BTW, this video would have worked nicely with your “old” theme song. Maybe you are trying to appeal to a younger demographic--. but I so loved that calming effect that was your trademark for years! Keep up the great work Tracy and thank you so much.
It is absolutely possible to avoid getting affected by criticism... people can appreciate you, people can appreciate you a lot! People can criticize you, people can criticize you a lot! But always remember, that is their perspective! No one knows you, no one has been in your shoes! How people around you behave with you is not about you! It is always about them! The key is to not get swayed away when someone compliments or appreciates you. Whenever someone appreciates me, I remind myself that this person is good to see the good in me. And, that is easier to do and practice. As a result, it is easy to remember that when someone is seeing bad in me, they are just reflecting their own personality. I take the feedback, analyze if it is correct for me, then decide to implement or just discard it, but do not absorb their energy of pain.
Wow!!You don't say anything new or mindblowing (we've all heard different versions of what you say) and yet I WAS MINDBLOWED. Your clarity and kindness in your words felt more powerful than several months of many therapy clinics. Your video came with perfect timing in my life. Thanks!!
Thank you Tracy! You are my fairy godmother (this is how I refer to you to my husband when I'm watching RU-vid), the knowledge you offer in these videos is so valuable 💗xxx
God bless you Tracy, what a fantastic video. I could listen you all day long and not get bored. You and your videos are a real blessing in anyone`s life. I can`t recommend you enough to my friends. I do have to share with you that it`s tough to resist or not to respond to criticism, I have struggled with this aspect in the past, but I am doing a great work not to deal with it. Cannot wait for the workshop you`re launching in august. Have a nice summer.
You are amazing! Such good reminders and tools of how to let go and move forward and refuse to allow evil people to muddy your waters. Thank you so much 😌❤️
Thx for another vid Mrs. Hensel👍🏻. Im glad im not the only one who pretends & aspires to be someone else. I enjoyed hearing that; i even rewound the video to hear it again. But we need to stop that. We need to remember: The only person who can write my story accurately is me. So many chapters of my book are entitled “Trying to be like X-Y-Z ...” I’m burning that book and starting a whole new volume! (lol) “Being Me” is my next book & i only need 2 people’s approval, God’s and my husband’s❤️And they both picked me when I was being me. Help others; give them a blanket to stay warm but don't forget to keep your own socks on😉.
You hear a lot of these things individually more than once in your life, but I like how the details around each, altogether deliver greater clarity. I hope that I can get better at this.
Thank you for your inspiring words. I appreciate how you get to the topic right away. Can you please do a series on confidence and criticism for teenage girls?
Thank you for explaining how people just want to get under your skin. Teaching me that it's just what they expect, is that they will eventually won't bother me. I love your videos, Tracy!
Another commenter mentioned her mother always criticized her and for me, something similar but not my mother but my step mother. She was shaping the way I thought of myself and it wasn’t a good thought. You are one of the resources that I come back to and remind myself that her opinion of me never really mattered.
You're dynamite Tracy! What great advice and I will listen to this again. I also like that little laugh of yours. It tells us you've been there and passed through to the other side. Happy New Year.
Awesome video! You are amazing and as I’ve said before, God sure is using you in the best way. You help women like no other. You help women realize their potential and how to handle life. Thank goodness for RU-vid so women like you can inspire, teach, and empower other women to be the best version of themselves. ❤️❤️🙏🏻🙏🏻 I literally just sent this video link via text, Facebook messenger, and email to MANY of my friends and colleagues. Way to go Trace!! Gina from Kansas.
Don't take 'constructive criticism' from people who've never constructed anything!! I'm learning that, day by day. I'm 25 and work in finance. I am building up my thick skin.
Very wise words Tracy, probably the best video I’ve seen of yours. I wish I could have heard this message in my 20s and 30s, I do believe with age I’ve become much more thick skinned, one benefit of aging I guess. Looking forward to more content about this. Take care.
Terrific video as always. I hear what you're saying about not responding to criticism. But what you do you do when that person is a close relative? Say, a sibling? I want to handle those relationships tenderly, but when they're not being kind out of jealousy it's hard to know how to respond without either causing damage or apologizing for something I didn't do wrong.
Thank you Nancy! In response to your question, this is when you set up boundaries. Boundaries is not a negative. It also does not mean that you don't have a good relationship with someone. You just have areas where you have set up boundaries. I have many videos that you would benefit from. They are linked in the dropdown. Good Luck!
Thank you Tracy for another wonderful video. Ever since my sister introduced you to me, I’ve been hooked on all the amazing nuggets you drop...even when you’re just chatting on Instagram! Also, wanted to say thank you for sharing one of your clients post on your Insta story, she had written, “Food is a good girls drug.” I know I have issues with food but the wording of that really struck home. Ever since I read that I have been able to be so much more aware and in control of my intake. And my feelings around why I’m escaping that way. I quit drinking a Year and a half ago and am applying my same technique to food. So once again, thank you for every little bit you put out there that helps us...aka ME. ☺️🙌🏼
I have no words to say thank you for sharing great content.You r touching lives through your work.Yes I would like to hear from you about social rejections and how to deal with it.
Tracy, that was a worthwhile video with information that everyone should learn. Even those that know the truths that you speak benefit from hearing it again. Like a friend of mine says, “It is like a gentle rain”. I take that to mean eventually it soaks into our roots and we grow from it. Thank you.
The mental motivation difference before watching 3 of your videos and after is beating myself up for hours & days and actually getting up to "start" doing at 10:20pm. You are definitely gifted with communication skills. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with perfection & clarity. You deserve much respect. 💞💐
I once had a toxic colleague. At a certain point of time I confronted him and asked: "What happened to you"? "Why was your childhood so painful?" He was so shocked, started crying and apologized for his poor behaviour!
Oh, Tracy, thank you for this lovely and inspiring video! And please, yes, please, a video on social rejection or anything similar to this inspirational and motivational stuff! I am happy that there are women like you out there! ♥♥♥
You've really done it this time, Trace. Easily one of your most powerful videos. Well done, truly. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for taking my request, and I know I will be watching this video many times
Thank you Angie! Such a fantastic topic and one that many need to work on in their self-development. Keep those vide recommendations coming! Bless you!
So happy I found you Tracy. I love you. I admire you. I would love to see you with your beautiful family. Thanks for sharing your words of wisdom. You make a positive impact in this very crazy world we are all living in! Bless you precious soul & amazing woman.❤️🌈💞😍
Your videos are on point with what everyone needs to practice in their daily lives. It pertains to everything - works, school, interpersonal relationships. Thank you!
Helo Tracy, You are doing an amazing job with all the videos you're presenting in RU-vid. I am a 62 years old lady, which love to learn to become a better version of myself. I love all your videos and you have made a big impact in my life. I also want to ask you if by any chance you can present a video for women over 60 on how to dress for all the occasion. Warmest regards, Milagros 🙏
Thank you for this. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! I wrote down some of your quotes and posted them on my computer and vision board. Excellent mantras. You're, like, a Favorite Aunt...and I mean that with the utmost genuine respect and warmth.
