HOW TO BECOME GOD - Crusader Kings 3 Royal Court Is A Perfectly Balanced Game With No Exploits 

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An immortal Emperor who creates the Primarchs as his own children to lead the Astartes... you’re gonna get into a civil war when Tiny Tim decides to be a bad boy...

The game says "Crusader Kings 3" but the single knight taking out hundreds of foot soldiers says "Dynasty Warriors."

I just love how terrified Big Dave looks the entire time. Like he has no idea why everyone is so afraid of him, he just wants to be your friend.

Fun fact: Ancient Viking Elephants didn’t actually have horns on their helmets!

"I dont know how but somebody died" trainer: *looks at bloody elephant foot then steps in front of it* "me either m'lord... odd that..."

"Attacking that mustering army with no one ready for combat won't kill you, Bob." Bob: *Trips over his own boots.*

Indian-Norse is the most broken hybrid culture in the game; I figured this out day one of the DLC/Update release. Also when you combine the culture's clothing they look like Klingons. Very apt.

Big Dave before every battle: "We are The Tea Drinkers! We march for Yorkshire!" Knights: "AND WE SHALL KNOW NO FEAR!"

Viking and elephants. Perfectly balanced as always

"A noble squirrel holding an axe on an elephant" Is a line i never thought i would hear

Honestly, I would absolutely *love* to see a series where you conquer the world and what wacky shenanigans you can get up to while doing so. I wouldn't even need new exploits in any of the episodes- Just keep on doing this :D

24:10 you sitting on that glorious Great Throne Of Tea at the end was an absolute master-stroke Spiffing; given that you're fielding Space Marines, it only makes sense that you are the one who has re-shaped the Throne Of Terra to suit ^_^

The logical step is to March into Rome, and do what Hannibal's elephants could not

21:30 Spiff- "I have never had a crusade called against me before." Me remembering my 40 year defensive crusade as the Norse where I ate ten Popes.

I really want to see Spiff actually take over the entire map, it would be full of fun things i bet

what i love about Spiff; is that he's basically Atilla the Hun in this bit. literally bullying; capturing high ranking people; selling them back to their kin, then using the same money to then build up and army to regrab the area and then some. you just love to see it.

I was wondering why you called your knights Space Marines, since, you know, land. But then you apparently went full Thunder Warrior on your prisoners, so...yeah. Understandable.

"Pope we have created a grand army for the crusade. Their army is small and will be crush under the Holy might of our force" *Later* "Pope, ah, we lost. Everyone died. They killed literally everyone."

Loved this lore video on the unification wars! I had no idea the first thunder warrior was tiny tim. What a masterpiece!

22:20 I love how Spiff called it the “battle of Jaffa”, but the game gave it a far more correct label of the “Slaughter at Jaffa”.

Paradox: Ok, we've patched out and nerfed all those exploits. Spiff: Hold my tea.

Yes, we need to see Big Dave conquer the entire world. It shall be GLORIOUS

Haven’t you heard that Vikings and elephants are historically accurate. It’s how Saxon became a conqueror

"I'm a god, how can you kill a god? What a grand and intoxicating innocence" ~ Davegoth Ur

This game is The Sims for historical strategy games. It reinvents old ideas and also introduces new ones

Spiff: Casually creates an army that defeats the entirety of Egypt in a few weeks. Me: Ah yes, perfectly balanced.

This video is absolutely brilliant. You are in form, Mr Spiff.

Knights are super op from the new royal courts update. Just ask gangis khan (or temujin khan, to be precise) how he's invasions for my anglo-norse-han viking colony in china went.

I still can't get over the squirrel. I swear i've seen him before...Wait! Could it be!? Yes, it's Sir Admiral Hammy Ham the 14th! No, it can't be, when last we left Sir Admiral Hammy Ham he was leading the queen's military on an intergalactic conquest. Perhaps this wonderful being, riding the elephant and holding an axe is an ancestor of the legendary admiral!? Hammy Ham the first perhaps!? Ah yes, the birth of an epic military heritage that will overcome the challenge of time of space itself!

I appreciate the effort you took to inform which part of the video corresponds to what is happening

Found this just now. You gave me inspiration to start as Viking again. Thanks

To add to your knight build, have the monasticism tenent (and optionally Monastic Communities tradition), than just pump out heaps of kids. Sons that you don't want to inherit can take the vows, but can still serve as knights if you have warmonger/armed pilgrims. Hopefully, a few of these warrior monks do well in their martial training. Matrinilial marry your daughters to unlanded guys with high prowess.

If you culturally merge with the Mongols could your elephants get even stronger from the cav bonuses?

One of these days I’ve gotta learn about whatever Viking/pirates they had south of Asia during all the European shit. I can only assume such an effective idea took off everywhere.

I wasn't expecting your 40k references but it was a wonderful surprise

I've been watching Spiffing brit since 2019. I listen to this content as a Semi driver. Just listening to the content; is all I need for entertainment!

13:20 That dude died of a heart attack from being so OP

Please do continue this series! Seeing the crusades crushed was fantastic. Maybe the Mongol hoards can be next!

That was so fun to watch. Please make more stories using the same broken system.

Why get a trophy wife when you can have a stewardship yeeter?

You ought to do a video on longbows. With the right duchy buildings and camps you can get their attack up to 150 or more. Add that to their stupid cheap maintenance and it's an easy gg for the welsh or english.

I love the quick tab away at 18:48 to hide the mass amount of murdered prisoners

Excellent video as always Spiff 👌

Your CK3 content is hands down some of my all time favorite things to watch on RU-vid!!! Please do more streams and videos!!! 🙏🙏🙏

"THIS SERIES SHALL NOT END TILL SPIFF HAS CONQUERED THE WORLD"-SUN TZU THE ART OF SPIFF.

I have been waiting for these types videos for so long thank you my fellow brit ☕

WTF Hahahahahaha the game play is insane but the narration is just a freaking perfect cherry on top and that's a massive cherry I am talking about! Great video!

This recent "Spiff plays God" series, got me thinking. How much coffee must a tea-drinking Brit like Spiff drink in order to come down to God's level?

I already became my OWN God in Royal Court. Even posted my review on Steam, if it's visible. It's quite lengthy, but the short of it is, I'm very disappointed my sword could not for the life of me get a legendary reputation for carving through both Britain AND France! And I was playing as an Irish viking dude.

Ya know, I was adamant I was not going to press the like button today but clearly that bait and switch *chef's kiss* beautiful lol

I would love to see this series conquer the whole map!!

Please keep this series going! I need more ck3 and Yorkshire tea in my life

Please actually conquer the whole world, that would be amazing.

i didnt wanted the video to end this was supa amaze

A wonderful video as always!!

The undying champions was my first choice in the new DLC, glad you showed it in here!

Please continue this. It's a shame you never get to far in the game despite being a god

oh man, please continue this. This is godly glorious, even Kratos the literal god of war would be impressed

Only on this channel will you find a Nordic Viking who hails from India, rides elephants and owes his allegiance to Britain. Good lord I love it

I'd love some follow-ups to this glorious adventure! In fact, I'd love to see you continue until you've literally conquered the entire world with Big Dave.

Man I can't wait to play CKIII again, I want the royal court DLC first before I hop back into. Miss having like 20 champions in my army shreking everything. Nothing like playing a viking and becoming a berserker at the age of 3. Edit: I know the comment isn't super video related, thought I'd just say it. But don't get me wrong, seeing Spiff slaughter with OP fighters is glorious and made me think back of my viking campaign.

Nice; the new DLC really adds some of the cooler culture/society aspects I always liked about Stellaris to this game for sure. Speaking of, wonder if there are any new spicy exploits in the revamped unity update for that game?

an interesting fusion of weaponry, the platemail european styled armor of a knight and the house sized war elephant

You did it Spiff. You beat the game. You really are the warhammer 40k.

This remembers me of that game called "total war: three kingdoms" were there were warriors that could kill the entire enemy army, like in seconds 5 dudes on horses eliminated 200 archers and there was no way to stop that because they had a lot of health and did area damage that means the enemy is dead before they can hit the horse. compleatly broken, i don't want to imagine PVP in this game because of this.

omg I was waiting for this video since the live few weeks ago

Spiff, You should see the pantry that Colin Furze is using for the tunnel entrance to his home, completely full of Yorkshire Tea.

after watching Spiff for almost 3 years i have become so powerful that the Like Button clicks itself everytime i hop on one of these videos that he makes.

Was the immortality a mod, or an edited save file? Excellent video, as always Spiff. Thanks for the upload!

I really want to see a Big Dave Conquers the Whole World video, I reckon it would have a lot of potential, and maybe even some spicy civil wars!

Love how Spiff basically made Jedi and never once thought of it

Even unoptimized, I was able to keep a treasury of around 20K while only holding the Empire of Scandinavia and a couple of extra kingdoms. I am certain they will nerf that pick into oblivion.

Pray the viking elephant riders of House British find victory. May the Yorkshire Tea Schism be healed by the greatness of Emperor Big Dave and his massive nose 👃 🙏

Nice... Big Dave's army is so skilled, one of them shot theirself in the foot, before even the invention of the gun, and died fighting thin air. That takes some serious talent.

You've gotta keep this going ... Big Dave needs to storm the papacy

I’ve been playing as the rurakids and have taken over all of Europe and Russia, the year is 1057. My knight effectiveness is at 560% and my people are still tribal, so rebellions are very easy to crush and rarely happen. I have Viking time at arms, horse archers and catraphrancts. I only use men at arms in an army and at 4500 or so of them, they can and always will stack wipe up to 15,000-20,000 stacks. I broke the game a bit my people also don’t stop breeding and I’m not sure why as I’m still base atrau faith and haven’t gone up anything that gives more fertility. Yet there’s 2000 of my dynasty. Edit: since I’m still tribal, I have slowly and almost completely changed the worlds governments to tribal as well. And I have 60,000-100,000 prestige by the time my ruler dies nearly every time. So my men at arms never get any debuffs from lack of prestige

I’d very much like to see a continuation of this, perhaps even into a world conquest. Is it possible to go north, Hybridise with the Mongol culture, and create the Mongol empire? Even if you have to convert to Tengri then back, or even improve Tengri to have the same tenants.

Wow spiff had telepathic or what....3 days after i installed this game and boom, this video enter my recomendation youtube👍👍

Oh the legends of the Davepocalyps and the adventures of Tiny-proportions are the sagas which have to be told to us as it is prophesized in the great book of the Spiff! "And thou shall behold the time of Yorkshire Tea when rivers will flow hot and Big Dave will take a sip of the water, and thou shall then hear the proclamation 'This be a glorious Teatime!' by the Big Dave." -These have been the words of the Spiff.

Weirdly enough one of my first playthroughs of the Viking expansion was to make Viking India with Viking War Elephants. Nice to see they've streamlined the process.

You know, I had always wished that the Norse Viking traditions and way of life had actually spread much further then it did and had survived to this day. if only the Vikings had won and taken over Great Britain rather then assimilating into it, then maybe even America would be more Viking to this very day. lol

PLEASE continue this! It's no 100-Statman, but I want more of Big Dave's adventures!

What a great video to drink my first ever mug of Yorkshire tea too

i got an idea, use the console commands to have various large empires annex their neighbors, so that when you play the game normally, you only have to take out the one or two massive opponents instead of every single one province minor across the whole world.

I love when this guy uploads he’s a legend keep on going (also love big dave)

I saw Marching Stompy Boys open for Soundgarden back in ‘96, just after they released “Unkillable.” Really underrated show.

please make more of this! I want to see world conquest crusader time.

I would love to see a completion of this playthrough, seeing the whole world claimed would be amazing

Perfectly balanced as ever spiff.

Damn, I had to smash that like button now

Keep up the great content, can't find how you enabled the immortal trait :P

Indian Viking Hybrids? Sounds awesome. I can picture a scene similar to The Fields of Pelennor for Lord of The Rings.

We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it Inside we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it And if you ask me how I'm feeling Don't tell me you're too blind to see Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it Inside we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye With a newer addition of Super Idol的笑容 都没你的甜 八月正午的阳光 都没你耀眼 热爱 105 °C的你 滴滴清纯的蒸馏水 你不知道你有多可爱 跌倒后会傻笑着再站起来 你从来都不轻言失败 对梦想的执着一直不曾更改 很安心 当你对我说 不怕有我在 放着让我来 勇敢追自己的梦想 那坚定的模样 Super Idol的笑容 都没你的甜 八月正午的阳光 都没你耀眼 热爱 105 °C的你 滴滴清纯的蒸馏水 在这独一无二 属于我的时代 不怕失败来一场 痛快的热爱 热爱 105°C的你 滴滴清纯的蒸馏水 在这独一无二 属于我的时代 莫忘了初心常在 痛快去热爱 热爱 105°C的你 滴滴清纯的蒸馏水 喝一口又活力全开 再次回到最佳状态 喝一口哟 你不知道你有多可爱 跌倒后会傻笑着再站起来 你从来都不轻言失败 对梦想的执着一直不曾更改 很安心 当你对我说 不怕有我在 放着让我来 勇敢追自己的梦想 那坚定的模样 Super Idol的笑容 都没你的甜 八月正午的阳光 都没你耀眼 热爱 105°C的你 滴滴清纯的蒸馏水 在这独一无二 属于我的时代 不怕失败来一场 痛快的热爱 热爱 105°C的你 滴滴清纯的蒸馏水 在这独一无二 属于我的时代 莫忘了初心常在 痛快去热爱 热爱 105°C的你 滴滴清纯的蒸馏水 喝一口又活力全开 再次回到最佳状态 喝一口又活力全开 But also important, The FitnessGram PACER Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The test is used to measure a student's aerobic capacity as part of the FitnessGram assessment. Students run back and forth as many times as they can, each lap signaled by a beep sound. The test get progressively faster as it continues until the student reaches their max lap score. The PACER Test score is combined in the FitnessGram software with scores for muscular strength, endurance, flexibility and body composition to determine whether a student is in the Healthy Fitness Zone™ or the Needs Improvement Zone™. And the newest of F you

Love the commentary.

Those knights power level is over 9000! Then i heard tiny tim's damage ability🤯

Day 210 of asking Spiff to play Battle Realms. Back from vacation and for a CK3 video, what perfect timing.

Ah yes, as we all know, the emperor unites everyone, the primarchs win everywhere, and everyone is happy forever. No need to see what happens next, everything is fine. To be honest elephant archers sound much cooler than lan raiders.

Damnit! I need to sub now, the contract forces me too.

Oh hey, a spiff vid that isn't a twitch stream re-upload w an uncut 'start of stream intro' - good job spiff.