How to cause a narcissist a NARCISSISTIC INJURY 

“ it’s easy to hurt someone who’s already broken “ that’s got to be one of the saddest things I’ve ever heard.

The problem is that narcissists (well, most) constantly dish out insults to those around them. Sometimes, we've had enough too and so decide to fight back. The narcissist really, really can't take it though. That's usually when the trembling with rage and black eyes episode starts. Erghhh.

Here's some added perspective: I think you have a lot of guts to openly put your vulnerabilities out on the internet Jacob. It's admirable to talk about cluster b disorders in any public way, even among friends and family. We have been through hell as children, we are riddled with shame. I 100% empathize with you and I want to say for the record that when I challenge you to see things from another angle, it is not criticism. I feel very lucky to have found your channel, this is one of the few spaces in my life where I can speak openly about my issues, I actually kind of regard you as kindred. There will always be hating trolls on the internet but over time I'm sure you recognize those of us truly in your corner and those not. I think that is in part why I say the things I say, I don't want you to give up, I truly hope for happiness and fulfillment for you. So please don't give up. We may be damaged goods but we are also deep over thinkers, not simply disordered f*ks. ❤️🌹🙏

Also a metaphor I forgot to mention is, if my self esteem is a glass of water, insulting me doesn’t take water out. It empties it and only rage and self hate us at the bottom

As someone with bpd and narcissistic traits too, our defects grow in the dark and die in the light. I think it’s important to be honest with ourselves and others, but then it is also important to not speak badly about ourselves too. How we talk to ourselves is huge. Just sharing some things that have helped me.

I thought the best way to hurt a narcissist was to ignore them.

This brings up an important point. THINK before you criticize and insult another person, whether he's a narcissist or not.

If you have a toxic narcissist in your life, just straight up ignore them, give them the silent treatment, one of my relatives is one. The funny thing is (toxic) npd's despise so many people but paradoxically depend on them for validation. Just treat them like toddlers not worth your time and it will bother them to no end.

Your content is helping me process my prior relationship. Not only that, I’m becoming way more empathetic towards people suffering from NPD. It’s definitely a mental health issue and social media has painted it to be just an abusive individual. It’s a complex disorder; you’re opening minds. Keep pushing forward. P.S I would never be able to hear this from my ex, this is how deeply I wanted to know him but I see why he shut me out, he’s deeply ashamed and scared. But I cared for him anyways 😭

Your honesty is greatly appreciated.

Yes it doesn't sit comfortably with me to slay a narc. The guilt of wounding them so badly finishes me off. I just go "no contact" with narc's in my life. Those narc's in my life know my tight boundaries. No empath, extreme empath or normal person should go out of their way to injure a narc. It must be done in self defence only with a judicial amount of verbal restrained force, and only ever as a last resort. Keep up the good work your doing a sterling job. Blessings. Saint Anger

Damn I identify so much with this. From narcissist to narcissist 🤝

We're all flawed. “If anyone tells you that a certain person speaks ill of you, do not make excuses about what is said of you but answer, 'He was ignorant of my other faults, else he would not have mentioned these alone'.” (Epictetus) :)

I have heard other self-aware narcissists calling you a weirdo, etc. I appreciate your transparency and honesty about yourself, and I can tell how difficult it is for you to share your inner workings and feelings about being someone with NPD. Honestly, listening to you has allowed me to feel a bit more empathy for my ex-narc a$$hole of a fiancé who discarded me back in December 2022, right around my birthday. I still hate his guts, but I'm healing and getting better everyday. I'm hoping that one day soon, I can think about him and talk about him without feeling any pain or emotions at all.

Thanks for your willingness to be open about what it feels like to be a narcissust it helps people like myself who interacti with people w/npd regularly. I've read a bunch but hearing it from a narcissist makes all the difference. So thanks again.

One thing I do that helps me alot is every morning I name 3 things I'm grateful for, 1 thing i'm proud of that I've done the day before and one of my strenghts. It keeps my mind positive and focused on the good. Thought I'd share if it can be of use to you. Keep making videos, you"re helping alot of people :)

Yes HG Tudor say's in his book "Confessions of a narcissist." He has a chapter called "it stings, it stings." Like a stinging feeling in his mind, and I should imagine his chest. Na, your a good looking kid giving it your best shot. Your doing great, I like your sunglasses to. You look super cool in the sunglasses to. You remind me of the Irish vampire dude in the series "The Preacher." It's a hilarious series. That Irish vampire is soooooooo cool. You have the same haircut and same shades as him and the same slimline figure, you have a great figure being slim. I didn't mean your like him as a vampire cos of your NPD either, just that you look like the actor. He's a good looking actor to, I think he's English. You have beautiful eye's also,vno I ain't hitting on you cos I'm hetrosexual. Nice bit of self esteem juice for you there. God bless. Saint Anger

I suppose there is a fine line between what we all feel and "NPD," everything you mentioned...shame, fear, rejection, being vulnerable are central the human condition...we all want to curl up in a ball a cry our hearts out, the difference perhaps is "the injury" and who inflicts it and why, that's the rub. Ty for sharing, I wish you all the best.

I also remember every shameful situation I’ve been in very clearly 😢 Although I’m a co-dependent

You're doing excellent at being able to even talk about this, I hide so much and I notice myself shying away from intimacy. oooh, the comparing concept is great too that explains why I love binging self aware Cluster Bs content. I swear its like I end up competitive for self awareness 😂

Really appreciate your bold honesty. Thanks!

You're gorgeous too❤, thanks for your channel. Keep being transparent ❤️, you really are helping people.

Genuine compliment: it takes a big person to speak on and acknowledge their faults/shortcomings/difficulties in life and it takes an even bigger person to share those dark things within themselves for the welfare of others, especially when it’s something that hard to talk about. What’s crazy is that even though feeling for narcissists and what they have to go through is the last thing I should feel (just got out of an abusive relationship with a narcissist), I can’t help but feel for what people with npd have to go through inside. I wanted with all of me to help my ex and be there for him and make his life better, but ultimately I know I can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help himself and has no value or love for me.

It’s amazing that you put this content out. Thank you, it really is helpful.

I admire your honesty and vulnerability being honest. MOST people, aren’t able to do it. That makes you human, and more than worthy. Bless you.

I see you recognizing new emotions all the time that's great progress. You are more than your actions. You are also your beliefs and your emotions and, as you identify more of them, I hope you can start to feel more whole because those are the things that should fill the empty places that in the past have been filled with shame and rage. Keep the faith!

Positive comment don’t be scared. My Mom repeated a quote to me that I tell my kids. “Comparison is the thief of joy.” I am very direct and honest and I get mad if someone tries to paint me a liar. You should feel good about the good things. Your worth comes from God and no one, not even you can destroy your worth to him. Cheers dude. Keep up the work. I did lots of therapy and it took time but helped. Still not perfect but I never will be.

This is one of the bravest and most real, helpful video on narcissism everrrr. Well done for having this level of introspection, honesty and transparency. I suspect you may get attacked by a lot of people with narc traits themselves, who are in denial about them, and who therefore feel threatened by the bravery you’re showing.

I find your videos fascinating, because you are so honest about your condition. To see you experience, in real time, what I know was going through my N-Ex's head, and explain it, gives me some peace. So thank you.

Bravo - You Are A Brave Man. I'm so very grateful to you. I have loved an intelligent man for over three years. He was my prayer partner. I lost my husband of 25yrs unexpectedly I was diagnosed with PTSD, ADHD, Sever Depression and Severe Anxiety. I have Gone Thru alot since I was widowed. My prayer partner got out of prison when I retired . I have known him and his family for over 30yrs. He was someone I confided in about everything in my life. To include finding out the two out of my Four Sons have been sexually abused as boys. They are men with families now . But when the youngest felt safe enough to tell he did so with his two older brothers at his side . He told me my third son raped him as a young man I tried doing the pc way of reacting to this devastating news I wanted to drown out of rewind what he was saying. I couldn't unring a bell. When the older two asked the third brother about what the youngest said he admitted to doing so. He at that point said the neighbor molested him as a child. Ripple effect. My partner listened and prayed alongside me. Until his mask fell one day. I'm trying my hardest to continue holding on. Your videos inspire. God Bless You and Much Respect ..I didn't know what type of damage he would do.with info I trusted him with. He has since used everything I've told him in confidence against me. I look in his eyes I just want to reach him he seems so sad so sorry at times. But, he is mostly wants all eyes on him lots of Grandeur. I don't want to abandon our situation ship but it's becoming so toxic as it relates to us You are helping many with your point of view thus helping me navigate this disorder.

Such a gem to the community

I am always checking for new vids from you because the rawness of how you present it from your own experiences is so validating to me. I’ll admit, I’m a little jealous of how much I think your contributing to this topic😄

You're very cute and you're doing a lot of good letting us into the mind of your type. It sure helps me not take certain things my loved one does personally, gives me some kind of compassion for them and make peace with their limited emotional capacity. So, thank you!

Simple ignore them it makes the narc feels they don't exist.

I’m so sorry that this is so hard on u, that bad feedback gives u so much pain. Thank you 4 ur bravery in sharing!!!

My advice is be inquisitive. I am extremely prone to shame, but also infinitely curious of other people. If you listen deeply, eventually you will run into someone that carries enormous _justified_ shame within them. Hearing them out will give you perspective and your own shame will seem meaningless and silly. A supposedly scrawny body (which I don't even get why someone would try to insult you with that, so dumb) is NOT the worst thing you could be ashamed of, trust me.

Thank you for showing what a bastard my ex was. 👍🏻

The feelings you describe are also not foreign to the comman man. We also experience intense shame, huniliation amd anger. What I do notice is that the more I become secure within myself, the less it sticks to me. In some situations I still feel these emotions, but confidence helps a lot to deal with it. Its not something we are born with, but what we can learn. Especially by experiencing a lot of hatred, humiliation and bullying.

You're very brave for being so open about yourself, and you're always articulating your thoughts well. I have never had a difficult time understanding you. Great job and thank you for sharing.

A beautiful vulnerable man❤talking about the vulnerable and painful part of the human experience

I am watching your video again and felt the need to comment again and say that you admitting to these things shows that you have learned to love yourself more then the common men. They would deny having all of these feelings, keeping on their mask. So please take a moment to recognise how far you have come and do not think you are a foreign species to experience these things. These are pretty normal feelings for most of us. Thanks for all that you do❤ Much love!

I think you are beautiful, a beautiful soul. I hope you let your beautiful flawed and imperfect self come out to be loved by yourself FIRST and then others too. Sending love and more love your way. I see and feel your pain. I can identify and relate to the things you are saying on a very deep level because I myself experience much of it.

I appreciate your openness, it's a powerful way for me to understand my bf

Great video. May explain why my (not self aware) narcissistic close friend is not speaking to me for 2 weeks now... must be that I injured her inadvertently... hopefully she will come back

Sometimes it seems like you’re exaggerating your discomfort, that it’s disconnected from your genuine state of being. This isn’t an insult! Just to say people want to hear what you have to say in full transparency and sometimes you are but it seems like you often balance it with compensatory affected states. You’ve even admitted such in another video. No need! We believe you. I’m sure being vulnerable feels uncomfortable and threatening so it makes sense. Either way, your videos are a wonderful portrayal of the constant splits and challenges you face. Thanks for putting yourself out there. Your dialogue has really helped me feel a (removed, I’m no contact) sense of compassion for what I went through w an ex. I realize it’s not at all personal.

I get this. Shame drives me inwards and I avoid these people for as long as possible.

I don’t understand how people ask how to cause narcissistic injury. I mean I probably have caused that to some with NPD but not intentionally at all. I understand anger and frustration but still knowing the low self esteem and childhood trauma and loneliness you already feel, it doesn’t make any logical sense to me to do anything but trying to lift those like you up. I’m so proud of your progress on your channel.

Go no contact. It will cause a huge narc injury.

Your honesty is the absolute best!

I have to tell myself not to take peoples comments personal. Someone left a comment saying I had “Crazy eyes” I’m like yeah I’ve been traumatized 😅 I think deleting mean comments is necessary.

You mentioned throwing up from shame. I find that so interesting because my narc ex husband would throw up almost every day and blame it on stress and anxiety but I wonder if it was the shame too. He was such a physically strong person, seeing him throw up all the time could be so shocking to me.

Hi, I’m enjoying your videos, and like cluster b channel, really appreciate what I believe is honest.

I respect you for your honesty. Even if you are a Narcissist, i believe the fact you talk about it honestly makes you honorful. I may not be a full blown narcissist but i had high narcissistic tendencies so i can relate to what you say.

People who are not narcissistic also have a hard time separating criticism from self. I think that's universal and takes a great maturity and recognition of the love of the divine to get past it.

I think anyone that understands how people actually become narcissists, and then still purposely tries to hurt them, should look into therapy themselves. I'm sorry you are in so much pain so often. Hopefully the more you unravel yourself, the more relief you'll feel.

I'm so happy not to be my narcisstic sister. It's so wonderful to have your own sense of guidance, ethics, morality and spirituality. I never feel shame anymore. Things that would make me feel shameful, I never do and I have an inner compass for it.

I think it's awesome that you have awareness as to who you are. It takes a lot of courage to admit to these things. You deserve the praise. So if I gave you supply oh well.

I feel like you’re in my head with this video. And when you were talking about your IQ and intelligence I find myself forming debates and justifications and “nobody can be as intelligent as I a- 😭 oh no what am I doing?”

You are very intelligent and well spoken, give yourself some credit, it takes time and I know how frustrating that is. It’s almost like you are reinventing yourself but in a healthy way, that involves learning to sort through and discover what healthy and normal is. Sounds exhausting and it probably is. You are in a way re parenting yourself into a health and happiness way of living. I went through anyears of doing the work, sometimes it’s heavy and you get pissed off that you have to do the work but you will get there. Love ❤️ ✌🏼Just trying to be supportive I hope this somehow makes sense.lol

Its such a tragedy. Mine just needed to look into me to see all the unconditional love and acceptance he has all ways craved. It was right there. But he was too busy hiding himself. I still love him as its unconditional. But had to seperate myself for the fear of consequences.

❤❤❤❤ Love your honesty

That doesn't sound like exposure therapy, that sounds like retraumatisation.

I understand the horrible shame feeling. My mom's profession revolved around her singing voice. She would do crazy shit to make me never want to sing again but force me to at the same time. I want to, but it's like a swollen pool ball of shame lodged in my throat when I try. My brain is broken from believing I'm capable, when I used to be fine, even excellent. Honestly so much of this is relatable enough that it makes me braver. I feel like if a narcissist can open this can of worms, I can chew on it.

Thank you so much for this video, I can tell this took a lot to do. No one is perfect, and that's okay.

Yeah brother man I know what you're saying it's like a existential crisis it's like there's not really that much fun in having to control everything in life and when it's turning in on you it feels like I don't know the most impersonal personal thing ever it's like erases some identity that without it has one supposed to live? It causes such an impossible conundrum that I don't think we could survive childhood without developing some unconscious strategies and having to succumb to those personalities in times of stress. What sucks is being stubborn and not coming back from something because of the shame. Wanting to say sorry and to make things better but almost needing the other person to just take all the blame. Anyway I think you are God man of some sort and I hope this channel brings some relief for you because if it doesn't no need to be a hero man take care of yourself make yourself comfortable you deserve it everyone deserves that

You are super handsome!

Love those glasses

You're a pretty funny guy, I always have a laugh at your candor. I'm a really socially awkward guy, probably Aspergers, Schizoid, the works, but the stuff about having invasive thoughts about shit that happened decades ago when you were like five and being like "oh my god oh my god that was SOOO cringe WHAT WERE YOU THINKING please just let me die random words random words banana indigo papa tango please brain think of something else!" - that shit really hit home for me.

you may get panicked & feel defensive but you also bring a far higher self-awareness & self-criticism to your language than 99% of not-narcissistic people.

I think the worst way you can injure a narcissist is by implying they’re mediocre, living a forgettable mundane life. Disappearing into the crowd like an ordinary NPC is their worst nightmare. Angrily insulting them can still turn into supply if they think you’re just jealous of them. Insults provides them self-victimization fuel to feel special in a negative way, framing themselves as the underdog on a hero’s journey.

Totally relatable about social media comments. Makes me wanna get off for a while. But also I’m trying to get to the point where I don’t want to hurt narcissists 100% of the time. Most of the time I don’t want to hurt them but honestly like 5% of the time I do.

Damn… when you explained the shame thing… I don’t know what to say. That’s got to be rough. To put it… very lightly. If it’s any consolation, and especially all things considered, I think it’s phenomenal what you’re doing. Sharing all of these insights, as well. That takes some pretty next level stuff to do so. It’s inspirational, too. So, thank you. For one, a increasingly more refined understanding of this disorder and inspiring me to be more transparent/vulnerable, as well. It’s revealed a lot, personally. Things I had no idea about. And I’m kind of a proponent for the whole healing/openness thing so, yeah. Just saying. You’ve got some next level stuff going on too. Big time 🙃🙂 (and in a good way)

You are truely helping people ❤

You're doing great. You're good

Before I knew about his issue I called him goofy when we were goofing around. That was the first time I saw the rage. Kept going on. He even sent a dictionary definition ( we were texting). I understand, now how he saw that, but being aware do you now understand it's just the way you are perceiving things, being overly sensitive?

You are evidently intelligent -- so, I would worry about that.

All I have to do is challenge him, question him, give constructive criticism, or tell him to stop it. Narc injury. He goes and numbs with alcohol, porn, and video games. I tell him he is not his actions and I am not telling him he is not good enough. You are a good person that has bad behavior sometimes. I can’t get him to believe it though and change his mindset. I am never trying to hurt him or attack him it all comes from love and he just doesn’t get it.

What is a good way to offer a narcissist a differing point of view without triggering their shame/insecurities or offending them? Any insight would really be extremely helpful. (We’ve been married 32 years now, and looking to continue to try to make the relationship as best as possible.)

May u find ur light n peace ❤🙏

G'day. 👋Newly subscribed from down under in Australia. 🌏 Your channel was a YT recommendation and I already know that I'm going to spend hours watching your videos to help me understand the relationship I've been so confused and hurt by for the past 7 years. I know you will explain it somewhere in a video I'm yet to watch, but still I'd like to ask you here....what was it specifically that prompted you to seek medical advice and ultimately be diagnosed with NPD? And when told of the NPD diagnosis, did you accept that and move forward immediately or did you challenge your doctor, not believing that to be possible (as narcissists are never the ones with issues)? And finally, since your diagnosis, do you think you have altered your behaviours or do you just understand the whys? Thanks in advance and I admire your straightforwardness and honesty!

I have watched this video and youe vulnerability is so beautiful. So beautiful. 🌼

I love my narcissistic ex and would never want to hurt him. I know he's hurting but I can't be with him because he cheated constantly and insulted me

Thanks for your videos, always insightful.

Your youtube channel has been a blessing for many. Is this part of your therapy? If so, how do you juggle the supply and the therapy from the channel? It also seems that npd persons are obsessed with themselves and are very self centered people. Not all but most. Personally, I think that it takes some balls to lay it all out. Since you have started therapy, have you seen some freedom from anything yet? God bless ........Btw, your hair is great :=). Some of us would give a whole lot to be able to run our hands through our own hair like you do. have a good one

Find a video on how to deal with toxic shame, (the video I watched said; to get rid of shame you have to feel it, gross) and or read/listen to The Shame That Binds Us. This helped me.

Nothing personel !but if all narcs can dish it out badley to us You got to take it back your not gods

Evening all.

narcissistic rage is by far the worst part of this disorder. ESPECIALLY when you can't act out on it. i honestly fear going in public because of the rage alone caused by my inner dysregulation

Sending you love 💕

Oh, sweetie, you are handsome, obviously intelligent and HONEST and there is no reason for you to feel so bad about yourself. There are so many people who aren't narcissists who refuse to admit to their own flaws. We're all flawed. Just tell yourself that it's THAT PERSON who has the problem, and they are not worth getting upset over. I have the same retention of insults and everybody and everything that hurt me for all my life. I have so many intrusive thoughts that I am trying to learn to ignore, but it's hard.

I love a narcissist but he keeps rejecting me.......why? He says he just wants to live alone.......

My ex-narc used to tell me that he wished I would debate with him more and tell him off because that was a turn-on for him. He used to compare me to this other girl he was interested in and would talk about how she was so confident and aggressive. I hated myself for being so easy going and nice. I guess he wanted a challenge? Maybe he was different because he was a malignant narc? At the time, I wasn't really aware of concepts pertaining to narcissism, empaths , and highly sensitive people. I began reading and discovered I'm highly sensitive and now have come to a place where I'm happy with myself. I don't feel like I need to be aggressive; just have appropriate boundaries in place and be assertive. If I would have told him off, I wonder if this would cause a narcissistic injury and if so, why would a narc want a confrontational person? I figure it would be pretty easy to insult them while telling them off.

All that matters is what you tell yourself.’you need to practice some resilience and learn to not listen to the external and improve the internal monologue

It's pretty rare that any of us can dismiss or not at all be bothered by criticism. It's extremely hard to put yourself out there online. It's impossible to please everyone and people are going to come at you. Even the most stoic and well balanced people have admitted that comments can get to them.

I wish my ex could be as honest with himself (and the people trying to love him) as you are… he’s stuck in projection mode & it’s sad to watch. You can literally watch it happening like a train wreck in slow motion..: something happens or is said, he takes it in as criticism & immediately feels ashamed of who is is, for just a moment he’ll even admit the shame part, but then all traces of humanity are gone & he’s raging and projecting all those unwanted traits that make him feel “less than”, onto whoever is near… he once made a RU-vid video about “losers who still live in their mom’s basement at 30” - nobody else knew this, but he filmed that video… while living in his mom’s basement (at 32)! It’s like expelling it all onto other people temporarily alleviates some of the pain …

So a narcissist can insult me for hours on end using all the vulnerabilities I naively shared with him but if I so much as jokingly insult him that will cause a narcissistic injury? I wish I could've seen past his 'house of cards' defense, but obviously I was not aware before.

Saying things wrong is a symptom of dyslexia too

They’re tough behind that keyboard right? ;) Thankful of you!

Have you considered a temple cleansing or a series? There are narc parents that will attach a demon or entity to you when you are little in order to have control over you. This might help you. Also balancing your chakras and taking salt baths daily. It may help. It’s worth a try🤷‍♀️

I wonder if my bf has NPD or high narcissism. this isn't the only example but this is one of them. I took my dog to the vet and they said he is overweight and it bothered my bf..he was OFFENDED. how is it possible I overfeed him? I counted the calories and showed him how easily we feed my dog 500 more a day then needed. if my dog doesn't want to go on a walk with him and looks scared (he pinched him on accident with the collar) he took it so personally and was mad and hurt that my dog was scared. when me and him almost broke up couple of times (once because he cheated. the other time because I called him controlling) I turned off my phone and he texted me and left me so many voicemails calling me a piece of shit that he hates me. he went on social media and told the world how terrible of a person his almost ex is.