10 things narcissists will NEVER understand

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Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. And here I discuss my own personal experience living with narcissistic personality disorder. Including the symptoms and behaviors associated with this disorder, as well as how it has affected my life. I also share some of my coping strategies and how I have been able to manage the disorder, along with helping you understanding your loved ones and their behaviors that may seem almost incomprehensible and potentially hurtful. Hopefully, my channel will provide insight into what it's like to live with narcissistic personality disorder, as well as what it's like for your loved ones. Thank you for watching!
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#narcissist #clusterB #gaslighting #npd #mentalhealth #BPD #narcissism #narcissisticabuse #gaslighting #mentalhealthawareness

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16 июл 2024

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Комментарии : 334

@fingsandstuff Год назад

You dont feel these normal things because you have no connection with yourself. You have to go back to basics. That part of you that you have abandoned is essential to your well being. You need to reconnect with your inner self. You need to abandon the false ego. Its not protecting you anymore, its destroying you. Only you can make the decision to do this. No one else. Confront your fears, embrace them, then you will see how silly and insignificant those fears actually are. You will then nurture you inner self instead of hating it. Living a life constantly running from yourself has gotten you where? Has it worked? Do you feel better for it? .. ... Only you can save you.

@deb2319 11 месяцев назад

🎯💯💖💖💖

@fingsandstuff 4 месяца назад

@wordsmith4305 You create your own reality. If that is your perception, then that will be your reality. Start small.

@lindsaywilliams3774 4 месяца назад

100%!!!!! Yes!

@LexRex11 3 месяца назад

Ketamine is brilliant at bringing awareness to the false self

@TheGiorgiapolly 2 месяца назад

useless comment, sorry....it is not a decision. You cannot say to a person on a wheelchair "go to run, it is only your decision!". They grew up with a trauma and a different developed brain. It is a lot and long hard work to change. which is not impossible, but this kind of comment is quite naive and useless, sorry to say, it shows you do not understand I guess

@DhyanaIris-du1nu 7 месяцев назад

Not caring what people think - it’s a practice, it’s it’s an evolution, you step towards that more and more, because you want freedom. It’s not very easy! Like singing in public; but good for you like broccoli. Build strong bones five ways.

@VivaCohen Год назад

I think most things narcissists experience are things EVERYONE experiences, but to a much stronger and more rigid degree. Example: Everyone questions who they are and relies on others for that info to some extent - but narcissists are completely reliant on that because they're extremely externally focused. They don't have a core internalized idea of themselves built over their lifetime to compare others' opinion of them against because they spend their entire lives morphing into different traits, starting at a very young age. They're always looking outward to see who other people will tell them they are and they need this to feel like they exist. Most people look inward at their core self, which is just a lifetime of fairly consistent patterns summed up into a feeling or a thought about themselves (a largely subconscious process). If someone has spent 20 years taking care of stray dogs and someone calls them a dog-hater, that person will look back on their life and conclude that the other person doesn't know them very well. It will still hurt their feelings, make them angry, and maybe even make them question who they really are. But for the most part, under this emotional defensiveness, they'll know that the accusation doesn't line up with the reality of the patterns of their life. And because these patterns have been pretty consistent, the people around them can also often confirm that the "dog-hater" comment isn't true. It's the same with any other trait. They have a fairly consistent pattern history to compare the accusation against. So they look inward at their history and outward at the perception others have of them and compare the two. Everyone questions who they are and is affected by the opinion of others - but most people have a fairly stable pattern history to lean on. Narcissists don't have these patterns because they change what they do based on external factors to an extreme degree and have spent very little of their lives looking inward to observe any patterns they do have - a coping mechanism for unmet needs that started when they were very young. So the process of building this sense of self was disrupted very early on. That's one theory anyway, based on stuff I've read lol I can't speak for narcissists, or anyone but myself really, but I do personally think there's something to this idea.

@napoleonsparis2058 Год назад

@VivaCohen...I fully agree with your first sentence. I think Narcs are severely neurotic and highly self conscious. Same feelings as regular people but far more debilitating.

@CB19087 Год назад

In my case, i was either just very unlucky, or have collected faulty inner data that provides catalogues of evidence that I am worthless and deserve to be treated badly. I know that I have a shame based identity. I know that I also have parts of me that are narcissistic and borderline. But I think I've been lucky that they haven't been able to completely hijack my entire personality. Currently in the process of trying to reprogram and reorganise all the shaming memories 🙃

@farmcottage5404 11 месяцев назад

I really appreciate this comment thank you❤️

@composingwithjames 9 месяцев назад

Same with other personality disorders.

@GreenEnvy. Год назад

Our public persona is like a performance where the objective is to not have an awkward silence or say something stupid.

@mamadoom9724 7 месяцев назад

Being autistic I feel that way too.

@avandyke143 Год назад

Crying isn’t only for sadness. It’s a response when a person is flooded with emotion. This could be at a wedding that’s very special to you, at church when your faith fills you with joy, when you witness the birth of your grandchildren….so many difficult situations! ❤

@ptlovelight2971 Год назад

Exactly. I cried tears of triumph and disbelief when I signed the lease on my first apartment: it was my first sign of healing from my toxic relationship with my narcissist sibling

@ASoulHere Год назад

Yes. Intense emotions whether positive or negative is behind crying. To me it’s also like a release of tension. I was almost in a bad car accident once. I cried with relief when I realized what a close call I’d had.

@theymacrypto Год назад

I've cried watching a stranger I didn't know be informed that a loved one died. It was hella hard to hold back tears because of the sounds a person in grief can make. If you've ever been hurt like that, the scream and even physical crouching as if they are in pain, could be enough for you to recall instances in your life when it hurt that bad to know that someone you loved is gone. You can't see them, touch them, laugh with them, etc. anymore. I cried for them because I could see and hear their pain. I guess that's the best way for me to describe one of your questions.

@sunnyday3539 Год назад

Fantastic video, really interesting. Jacob, I think you’d really like the book “The Moral Molecule” by Paul Zak. He studied the hormone Oxytocin and its affect on the body. Cluster B people have a genetic variation in their oxytocin receptors, such that their bodies can’t feel this hormone’s effects. It’s the hormone of love, bonding, and empathy. I would love for you to do a video about the book, and what you think of it. If I remember correctly, the author stated that both happy and sad crying occurs from a surge of Oxytocin. Happy crying is very pleasurable, it can be triggered by feeling joy, feeling connection, feeling relief, or feeling happy for someone else being happy. Sad crying can also feel good, because your body releases so much tension during it, hence the term “I had a good cry”.

@annealbert9490 11 месяцев назад

Do they make medication or natural oxytocin?

@doloressosa4351 Год назад

Healthy narcissist vs. pathological narcissist. Everyone wears a mask, however, a pathological narcissist never removes it.

@debral9651 Год назад

People who have differences fall in love with each other because despite of their differences they make an active choice to be together because life is better with that person around. Doing nothing together is sometimes a sign that they are a good match because you dont have to do anything to please anyone. Just being in each others presence brings comfort

@kirsikka3752 Год назад

8) I have been abandoned few times by my narcissist father. So I survived it and I will survive any further abandonments even they break my heart every time. I do not fear being abandoned in advance, because most people do not abandon nice people they love. 9) I just hate that the narcissists provoke and test people. I feel it is very disrespectful and I do not tolerate being a lab rat. I leave if I sense that some one is playing games with me. 10) That is the reason many people stay with narcissists way too long. They cannot believe anyone is such scheming and malice when they are themselves good-willing, honest and respectful. So it goes both ways. Now I understand that there are every kind of people and I have to be careful when choosing who I let near me.

@specialtwice4975 Год назад

For you number 10. I find it funny that 90% of cluster b thinks everyone is like them, just how we think they are like us. (That's a sign for them btw, when they think everyone is greedy, mean, and schemes too.) Scheming, mean, predatory, etc. I remember last year when I was dating an Aspd. We were talking about empathy and kindness, and she said, "We both know nobody in the world is THAT kind. They don't exist. EVERYBODY is just out for themselves. Everyone schemes, lies, and cheats to get to the top." And you could tell she actually believed that when she said it. I remember looking at her in disbelief, like "what?"

@hatersuffocator5785 Год назад

@@specialtwice4975 aww... for real. Most people are genuinely trusting, trustworthy and have integrity.... even some who had messed up childhoods. I like what Jacob is doing here but in some ways he is pretty special...it takes a lot of time and hard work and there was a pivotal point (?) where he made a choice to put in effort and he is honest here... mostly. That's where someone has to start, for sure. Funny that highly empathic people sometimes wish they learned tactics to strengthen their ego sooner in life and if only they and those with personality disorders could learn more from one another peacefully then we could all be ascending... temperance, balance, the middle road, Wui Wei all teach these things. Hard to deny your nature and your nurture (or lack thereof). ;-]

@joanndeck4315 Год назад

Yessss!!! 10) We project our “goodness”. Narcissists, once we learn 😂😂😂, give us the GIFT OF DISCERNMENT. Hard life lesson tho, that’s why it’s wise to learn and not keep repeating

@peggyditewig3143 Год назад

1. i can cry with happiness. think of it as a feeling of warmth and happy emotions that flood your body. I also feel these emotions with friends. 2. I am very satisfied with my life, nice house, nice job with nice colleagues and dear friends and enjoy the little things in life. Not everything is about status and don't feel jealous of others. Everyone has their own purpose in life. 3. Having a better education or more money doesn't make you a better person than anyone else. Everyone is equal your character makes you distinctive. 4. I don't care what other people think of me, their opinion is not mine and everyone is allowed to have their own opinion. I know who I am I know how my heart is beating and that's what matters. 5. I have never felt empty and I can hardly imagine it. i know who i am. 6. I never pretend otherwise. what you see is what you get. There is no mask, no acting or calculating. life flows naturally and not on autopilot. 7. you don't have to be perfect for each other. you have to want to fight for each other. supporting each other through thick and thin. being buddies. go through fire for the other. opposites attract and complement each other. enjoy each other's company and fall in love with each other's character. 8. people come and go in your life. you grow apart or towards each other. you meet new people again. the disappointment of leaving is in someone who disappoints you or leaves you and then usually in love. 9. i can effortlessly read/feel someone's feelings their pain and sorrow but also their joy…..but also the things you read between the lines. I can be really happy for people and there is no envy involved. ❤ i dont See Bad in people ….

@whitewings2363 Год назад

I think your description of number 7 is one of most insightful things I've read in a while. It really is about working to understand one another and make room for one another to flourish. I think I have some form of NPD, however I cry from happiness and sadness all the time, I'm not sure we each lack empathy. Albeit, I am in recovery. I'm nit sure what people mean by empty. I do feel bored at times, but it's fleeting. There are times when I want to do so many things that it really frustrates me to have to pick one since life is so darn short.

@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE Год назад

I cried UNvoluntarily twice. Once at a funeral of someone I wasn't close to (I said, "wtf is happening to me?!") and the other was at my cousin's wedding. I was also in the wedding party and didn't understand it. I was also pissed off at the time because the bride had these LOSERS ahead of me who were fake friends (I rage cried when I found out my placement in line months prior. I was in better shape than all of them. 🖕🏻). Also, people love to armchair diagnose us as borderlines because they don't understand that our traits cross over. Some borderlines like to diagnose themselves as narcissists (my therapist made a mistake). I just send them my DSM5 video of NPD and ask them to see if that resonates with them. 🤷🏼‍♀

@energiogbevidsthed Год назад

This is my take on it, hope it makes sense. 1) It’s an overwhelming feeling that I would describe as an overwhelming appreciation of the good in life. A deep happiness for them, pride maybe and appreciation of love. 2) If you don’t measure quality of life on performance you prefer average to not waste energy on something you do not care about. More important is emotional balance, depth and quality of relationship to oneself and others. 3) On the soul level everyone is equal. People with more empathy focus more on the level of the higher self / soul, and not so much on the separated persona, which in spiritual terms is called the smaller self. We all have both a smaller and a higher self. The small self is very fear based but necessary for survival. The higher self is accessed when there is no fear. Emotional pain, pride and ego prevent you from accessing this higher mind. In non-spiritual terms “regular folks” focus more on what is similar, and less on, what is different. This recognition is what creates feelings of togetherness. From that point of view, differences are just differences, not parameters for a hierarchy. 4) The less you tend to judge others, the less you feel judged. Everyone cares about what other people may think but in different ways. I fx adjust my behaviour to what is advantageous but not to control peoples’ opinions. But for what is needed for others to either feel safe around me, or to respect my boundaries. I may be gentle or funny with insecure ppl, but calm, strong and firm with ppl who does not easily respect others. 5) I think what you mean by ‘empty’, is because you do not feel your soul or higher self. The soul is very fulfilling in and of itself. Most ppl do not know how the soul feels before they loose the connection. It is something very unconscious. Ppl who are natural connected dont care and dont understand - its just a given. 6) When overly happy, yes some outgoing ppl may act naturally charismatic. 7) Love is of the soul. From the egoic mind (smaller self) it will always fail. Its not love but just an imitation. 8) Being very sensitive to abandonment is a trauma-thing. If you have been abandoned as a small child, when you could not survive alone, your emotional body will react to abandonment as if your life is being threatened. This can be healed, but you can not do it with your rational mind alone. Your physical and emotional body are connected and stores information, which you can not access through the brain. It normally takes decades to heal. (unless you have a spiritual awakening) 9) An empath feels other peoples emotions in a combination of feeling energies, observing through physical senses and through their own emotional database/emotional register stored within their own emotional body. In other words. An empath will cry watching a movie though its clear that it is an actor crying on the screen. You can not have one without the other. Does it make sense? Since energies and emotional recognition both uses the same channels of expression (=the empaths’ register of emotions) she will not be able to distinguish what is what, but she is also not supposed to, it is not the purpose of empathy. The purpose is to include, connect and heal, and to broaden her/his own awareness of own feelings - because that way the database is evolving and he/she will know him/herself. It takes a lot of practice to read the energies alone, and it can only be accurate if the subject/person is sincere, open and willing. A closed / sceptical energy is not usefull. An important thing to be empathetic is to trust. If she was not trusting of you - being instead sceptical to ensure you were not playing a trick on her - she would not be able to be empathetic. It has to come from a good heart. Again. I hope you understand, that you can not have one without the other. Most empaths are not systemic in their approach - meaning, they do not know how they do what they do, they don’t know nor the mechanics or the pitfalls. Experience is needed. If you were sceptical or critical, or too focused on the mechanics of music, singing, dancing, creating art etc. also, you would realize, that you can not do it too well. It would be boring, not inspired and have no value. These skills are not from the rational mind but should be honored just the same. And agree with other commenters, that empaths in the sense of feeling energies just being near someone or just feeling into on the distance are rare. It takes training and for most, actual education is needed in order to get it right - just like a true musician needs to receive lessons. Does it make sense to you?10. Yes, people are inherently good, but many are distorted and traumatized. If you meet ppl with distrust, you are not part of the solution, but part of the problem, that’s why many - though they have been hurt many times - do their best, to give other people the benefit of the doubt. It causes less problems that way. There is a level of taking responsibility and a level of maturity in a trusting approach. However especially the empaths has to be careful and understand that empathy is not a given. They have to learn to set strong boundaries. In reality anyone who is ready to let go of the fear based behavior will be able to find a safe person because not everyone decides to "take or manipulate" and it feels absolutely AMACING to BE that safe haven for someone on the recovery from trauma to love, but it takes courage and discernment - hardly anyone can tell, if the person is sincere enough or not. Empaths should always be ready to dump ppl who turn out to not be ready for the healing they think they seek.

@nycxtile Год назад

A narcissist can also cry in reaction to what they see on screen. That's sympathy which they do possess.

@brandyschroeder4759 Год назад

Feeling like someone is out to get you is not a bad feeling. I consider it to be intuition that I'm not safe to be around that person. Some people have bad intentions

@healmexico 28 дней назад

As an empath I can cry genuinely by seeing an animal suffer, a really happy situation such as a wedding proposal etc. It's automatic for me and not a lie or a joke. Personally I cannot comprehend people who can't recognise the reality of emotional experience. The fact that you really question whether everyone is just faking it.. this is where the grandiosity comes in. Astounding.

@DerekCastillo Месяц назад

I was blown away when he shared that he doesn't know how to self-validate. Like, he has no idea if he's charismatic unless someone tells him. This was so eye-opening. Thank you for sharing, dude. It's one thing to read it online. It's en entire thing to see someone candidly express their own perception as a narcissist.

@raysunshine1987 Год назад

1) we cry because we empathise with them and we know how it feels to be over the moon like that, so yes it’s joy mixed with magic mixed with nostalgia. I even cry when I listen to love songs. 2) I hate capitalism. I hate my job and my boss and people who compete are so miserable and don’t understand the meaning of life. I don’t wanna live to work, I wanna work to live and be happy. 3) I agree with you on this people are not and will never be equal. 4)you just shake it off and remember if this people are stupid their opinion don’t matter. 5) it feels like gratitude I think. 6)THIS HAPPENS WHEN YOU’RE TRULY HAPPY! Natural charisma! 7) people settle for each other cos they’re codependent 8)I have a huge fear of abandonment to the point I become psychotic so I agree. I think people fake being unbothered! 9) yes I feel people emotion as if it’s happening to me. But I can switch empathy off when I’m angry. Maybe you’re angry all the time. 10) sometimes I think this too because sometimes it is true. But other times is not. Not everyone is a narcissist, thank god 😅

@natalietunstall5320 Год назад

I feel like I almost became a narcissist but never would have become one. I think this is a weird kind of empathy that I have. My Dad abandoned me as a baby (he has ASPD) which I believe made me Borderline as well as being bullied over and over again and my lack of attachment to my Mum. That left me on a really bad frequency. I have a lot that I don't feel comfortable to open up about, but I need to in order to connect to people. I used to be an empath.

@CB19087 Год назад

Have you read John Bradshaws book called Healing the shame that binds you?

@guesswho5790 Год назад

Hang in there! You hot this

@natalietunstall5320 Год назад

@@CB19087 I will do, thanks :)

@natalietunstall5320 Год назад

@@guesswho5790 Thanks so much :)

@ricovelas Год назад

Never felt as compelled to make a comment as I have right now, but you are one of the most relatable YT’ers I’ve come across. You’ve described a lot of my old self to a T. I’ve been in therapy and stated point blank, I think I’m a narcissist to which she stated that narcissist aren’t the kind of people who go into therapy… She’s given me some too to help build a working sense of self but I still use my old ways ever so often…. It is alot of constant work. I really envy NTs because they can be themselves and have great social connections and a fulfilling life with ease. I on the hand… I just chalk it to life isn’t fair and continue to work at it. Just know you’re doing great work here and it’s appreciated!

@ariondys Год назад

people don't think they are average, they overestimate themselves. “Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.”

@guesswho5790 Год назад

Watching you I realize how narcissistic I used to be. I have bpd. But it truly all was a trauma response. I now understand that "not everybody's out to get you" for real. Most people seek genuine connection! And now I strive for that too. But it is absolutely impossible if you do not feel like everybody, yourself included, has intrinsic worth as a human. I have been diving into philosophical morality theories and realize that Kant's ethics are invaluable in understand how humanity works. There is a great Harvard course on RU-vid on "doing the right thing", where Michael Sandel explains Kant's ethics beautifully. We make moral sacrifices in order to "be on top" that make us feel more and more empty inside. Because we are looking for a feeling of safety in the wrong places. We see the world as a hierarchal hell hole where everybody's competing to be on top. And that is so not true. Most people's motivations stem from a cooperation and need for connection. We are needy. We need people to validate our existence. But we are all worthy of existing. I already know what empathy is because I am and always have been extremely sensitive. But the world around me made me see things from a narcissistic point of view. I suffered a lot seeing myself at the bottom of the food chain and reveled in my beauty and how people admired me. But... It's just not enough. I only find joy and fulfillment from true connection. Where there is a mutual tenderness and understanding. I think once you reconnect with that part of you you had to dim bc it was encouraged and a good survival strategy up til now, you'll get it too.

@jonstersmall2716 Год назад

As I commented in one of your Livestreams many of these are a function of age in my view. And many I shared when in my 20s. Like the one you mention about an ideal partner. Walt Disney has a lot answer for there! Sooner or later i realised all of us are perfectly imperfect! So it's a conscious decision to love someone, long term.

@dogtrainingmexico Год назад

This is a good point, was thinking the same, a function of youth

@abdielbullberg1875 Год назад

We live in THE MOST NARCISSISTIC era ever known to mankind. Social media and all the attention seeking I believe plays a major part in this. All these «influencers» and shit thinking they’re the shit. Personally I’ve just started being honest with myself that I’m a lil bit of a narcissist myself. I mean, just look at my profile picture. Oh and I also have ADHD(medicated for it, and loving it) and ASPD/Sociopathy, and as said before channels like yours make it helluva lot easier to be honest regarding my different diagnosis. It’s a lonesome life though being «mentally different» than all these so called «normies». Not feeling lonely though, just alone and learnt to both like and love it.

@NMTDelightfulMusic Год назад

We FEEL what we are. It comes from within (subconsciously). We do not think what we are :) I KNOW I am good and kind person.I always was. I feel that in my chest and I would jump to make a good deed because I feel it is right. And I get dopamine rewards afterwards. But it is not because I will feel good. It is an URGE to act right.I all has to do how brain is wired. Your is wired to smile if someone had a misfortune and slipped and fell. It is automatic for you and it is horrifying for us. That is the origin of the smirk when you cross over somebody....etc. Just an explanation! The other one is object constancy. Once we normies fell in love it is hard to loose the object (love). It is almost always there until we die. That is why it is shock for us when Narc leave. It is huge physical pain to loose the object. But you loose object in blink of an eye and there go emotions as well. We ARE biologically different big time.

@LaylaSpellwind Год назад

1: Crying at weddings is typically a rush of emotions. It's not necessarily sadness, it's your body trying to express an emotion that makes sense at the time. I'm sure there's a ton of sciency reasons why that I don't understand. But basically. It's not sadness, not all the time. Weddings don't make me cry, but beautiful music does... And soap operas. But only old ones, new ones are shite. Two: I can't, I have severe depression, I live alone, I have few friends, I hate myself. Most people are pretty good at hiding and show contentment as a shield. A lot of people are just happy with their lives. But the amount of people with depression says that this isn't the majority, to me at least. C: I strive for equality. I don't believe things are equal, currently. I believe they should be. Be you black, white, gay, straight, trans, cis. I believe that you should still be equal. But currently, that's not the case. And no, equal doesn't mean that they should be the same. It means that they should have the same oppertunities. IV: Yeah, no, this one doesn't fit me at all. XD I worry about what other people think all the time. I envy people who don't worry... But I just can't turn that worry off, it's an intrinsic part of who I am. If I could turn it off, I would. Cinco: Emotions tend to come naturally to me. My worry, is that everyone else is faking stuff and I can't tell, or I'm doing it wrong. Like, what if people are just humouring me? Éxi: I might've misnumbered one... Fuck it... Sieben: The whole opposites attract thing is nonsense. Opposites end in divorce. Sometimes people who are different work well, sometimes they don't. It really depends on how each individual person develops feelings of love. I used to feel love... I don't anymore. I lost the ability to long ago. So I'm a bit out of the loop on this one. Octo: I have a severe fear of abandonment. When I was younger, it was common for my "friends" to ditch me. They'd say they were going somewhere, then they'd look at me and look at eachother and say "Let's race." I'd say "Please no, not again.." They'd run to somewhere else, I'd run, I was a slow runner, to the place they mentioned, they were of course not there. I was very often abandoned. Enneadic: I think Empathy for me is more of just a hyper level of sympathy. I sympathise with people, I imagine how I'd feel in that position... Which... I guess is Empathy. Decuple: My brain has kinda just switched off... I may have missed the question. Epilogue: If I'm honest, for a lot of these questions. Things that don't come "naturally" to you and things that do come "naturally" to everyone else. Aren't things. It might be that we don't have NPD, but it's also worth noting that it doesn't mean that those things come easy to us. Some people are hyper emotional while others barely feel a thing. But neither of those are guaranteed to meet any diagnosis. Some people also understand emotions in different ways. For instance, some people like being sad. Which is crazy, but maybe that's the point here. Some people like feeling pain, others like dealing pain. How we all interpret reality varies, and we can never, ever, truly know how other people are thinking. We can try to empathise, we can potentially get very close.... But we're never in their head.

@penthesilliaas Год назад

Crying is the body's way of releasing strong emotion. Sadness, anger, joy...even beautiful art, music, dance can cause tears. We can be happy being "mediocre" because we don't need to be "better" to be fulfilled. Being "better" does not bring joy/fulfilment proportional to the sum of all the things we get from not spending our time trying to be "better", like comfort, relaxation, social interaction, love, family, watching flowers grow....

@shahjmir Год назад

I attended a wedding where I didn't know the person who passed and I still cried. I am just very sensitive to the emotional environment.

@AbyssalManta Год назад

I see what you did there

@Stephen_xvii Год назад

You got a clean ass cut, my son!!! Damn!!! Also, you’re right in that everybody to some degree cares what others think of them. Where your disorder leads your feelings astray is the estimate of how much people care. Personality disorders manifest the human experience into extremes. A functional person chooses who’s opinion of themself that they care about and to what extent instead of trying to fundamentally reconstruct their essence to conform to whoever is beholding them. In fact, the identity disturbance in NPD may lye in the sufferer’s learned and perceived obligation to construct false identities for false images instead of undergoing the pivotal development of discovering facets of the self which exist regardless of the perception of others. So NPD sufferers do have an authentic self, it’s just that unfortunately they’ve been taught to disconnect from that self for fear that they’ll be rejected if they embrace that self instead of the given obligatory false “identity”. But that could be wrong.

@daffy501 Год назад

I think you nailed it on the head.

@Stephen_xvii Год назад

@@daffy501 Thank you :’)

@MiiissAlexx Год назад

The way you explain it really helped me see the world from the perspective of the people around me that have NPD... being a narcissist sounds like a full time job. And there is a lot of “care” assigned to so many situations and events as far as how they may be interpreted. I only have been diagnosed with ADHD but I lack a care about most stuff and don’t care that I don’t care.. this is def not the norm. I am very curious about how people think 🤔 and your videos have really helped me with understanding NPD better. Thanks 😊

@brandyschroeder4759 Год назад

I'm not afraid of being abandoned or being left behind I've been working in customer service almost 25 years people come and go all the time even though you become attached. I had to learn to let people go. People drift different ways after a while..

@penthesilliaas Год назад

I know that the world is full of people who are cruel and untrustworthy. But I also know that the world is full of people who are honest and loving, because I am and I know that I am not exceptional.

@jackidezell3736 Год назад

I cried with pride for the little girl I babysat’s wedding. I was happy for her, and so proud.

@deep-pond 9 месяцев назад

Well, Jacob, as an empath, I can tell you that we can feel the feelings in the air when we walk into a room, cry at sad movies and songs, and feel the emotional and physical joy and pain of others (human and nonhuman) But that doesn't mean we will feel empathetic towards everyone. We all have our own values. Sometimes, we may know someone or see someone in pain and think they deserve it. Or see someone feeling happy and think they don't deserve to. I do feel for you Jacob. I really hope one day you find the kind of love where you can sit on a bench with someone without saying a word and know there is no other place you would rather be. ☮

@greylizard1040 Год назад

1. Most people tend to be overwhelmed by strong emotions during moments like weddings, or even while watching movies, because they are struck by the power of that moment and their empathy allows them to connect with the importance of that event, and to understand the deep significance it has to the person it is actually happening to. 2. There are people who place value on enjoying their lives over burning themselves out. It might be part of not caring as much about outward appearances as the narcissist does. If they are comfortable and surviving then there can be a lot of enjoyment found in a simple life when they're not stressed out and ruining their health. We have the ability to enjoy hobbies and relaxation without outward validation, which is one of the reasons I know that higher levels of narcissism must be absolutely excruciating to experience. 4. It hurts to be criticized, but to me, it also depends on who is giving the criticism. So many times it is about the critic projecting their insecurities onto me. That's not the nicest way to look at it, probably a bit narcissistic. I have pretty low self esteem but there are ways I know I will just never be great, and I had to accept myself knowing those things can't change, or I was never going to leave the house or talk to people. Part of that is knowing that many times in the future, those things will be attacked or made fun of, and to try to accept that as well. It's a great way to determine what people are actually like. 5. Knowing who you are really ties into your number 3, with not getting human equality. I think this lack of understanding comes from having a rough childhood and being neglected or abused emotionally. I had this issue and still have it pretty bad, but I dug deep into my insecurities and realized that I feel like crap about myself because of how I was raised. I don't know how to go easy on myself or have any self compassion. I'm working on building my self worth and replacing "I'm garbage and a waste of time" with thoughts like "I'm doing my best and I am worthy of good things" which is extremely difficult to truly feel all the way through. I don't know how to see my strengths without having someone tell me, but I manage to get through most days even though I identify on the inside as human waste and less deserving of being here than other people. 7. I think it's about having empathy and kindness when it comes to another person's flaws, being able to understand that they are not perfect, and the other person being able to do the same for you. It's what allows people to look at each other deeper than what is on the outside, and to just enjoy existing together for the most part, knowing that there will be difficult times. It's about being able to admit your own fault and make up when you fight because you care about them more than seeking the perfection that doesn't exist anywhere. 8. Abandonment hurts most people. There are rare times that people understand that they can't give the person they love what they want and it still hurts but we want them to be happy even if they aren't happy with us. This is probably one of the hardest things to do, but I will say that it is a much better outcome to release someone from your heart painfully than the negative energy that comes from petty bickering or having an all out war with someone / hating them bitterly and feeling pain from it for years. It's more common for younger, naive people who have had easier lives and raised with empathy to be more open and trusting until they've experienced or seen the reality of the world and learn to be more cautious, but yes empathy is real. People who have gone through trauma don't always end up narcissistic, sometimes it creates immense empathy and they make sure they don't hurt people the way they have been hurt. There are also a lot of ways to be kind that don't cost us anything or weaken us, it just makes the world a better place to live in, and that's what a lot of people want, over personal gain.

@hyperionsolomon Год назад

On the first topic, marriage: You might be able to conceptualize this better if you were to think of it as: the feeling that you would experience if you went back and married a version of yourself that did not get damaged in childhood; and you knew that all of the childhood trauma would be healed in this new relationship and you would finally be a normal person capable of feeling joy, regularly, without shame, or never feeling not good enough. You would know who you are, have normal self esteem, self-regulate, etc. You would have purpose. This joy, feels like *coming home* after a war that's lasted your whole life, and you never feel lost again, because you've found yourself in the arms of this person. It is an experience that is transcendent and difficult to describe.

@paulmateen5416 Год назад

Human instincts are cultivated when young and the mind embraces the environment, intuitively. From watching this video reminds me of a house cat trying to be a natural wild cat. The house cat will have to fake it to survive, so that means constant missing the mark socially, while the engineered social interactions by the narcissist is like the movies, dramatic and exciting but still missing the mark.

@candace8200 10 месяцев назад

WOW. What a great description.

@DhyanaIris-du1nu 7 месяцев назад

Tearing up when someone else cries; if you’re an empath, and their expression is genuine, you feel it in your own body. You feel their emotion and their physical sensation in your own body. So you feel it exactly in the same way as if it was yours. So…

@mandyj5131 Год назад

I totally get all these questions. It's brings me back to a child like state listening to these things. Kind of refreshing bc your observations are what many can't even piece together.

@OhGeeWillickersMister 2 месяца назад

Yes, as a non-NPD person I can be reflexively charismatic. I enjoy saying hi to people and checking in with them. It's genuine.

@evymatos8848 Год назад

I loved that video! I have fear to be abandoned. I hate that feeling too. But I know myself and my values, I really know who I am. I spent a lot of time deciding what I would like to be, and working hard to become like that. Not pretending, but improving myself. For me it begins with the things I don’t want to be that make me angry or bring me shame. So I decide change that behavior and I change the feelings that push me to that action. And I practice that process until I really become very good about it. For me the great thing is we can be who we want to be! I can change what I hate about myself everyday. It’s why I don’t have envy. We don’t have to pretend because we feel bad when we do it. It’s why I know I’m not a narcissist too. 😅 thank you for this video

@blove2023 Год назад

Crying at a wedding. Because you know that this union is through God. It's because you feel so warm and happy that these two will become one in love. So beautiful ❤️.

@sandradoyle1999 Год назад

Me, a diagnosed narcissist, frantically reading the comments cuz I also wanna know the answers to these things😂

@lss74 8 месяцев назад

Not caring about strangers perception of me: I honestly feel NOTHING. If a stranger doesn't like me or judges me etc. it truely has ZERO impact. I don't know them and 99.9% of the time I'm unlikely to see them again. For example, I have been unwell (nothing contagious!!!) and too ill to properly get ready/put make up & jewellery on etc. I have popped to the chemist with my pyjama top on and just a big cardigan over the top. Bed hair and just looking AWFUL. Again, zero feeling about others !! I care about the important people in my life, and don't waste energy on the rest.

@shinorules131421 9 дней назад

I think empathy for me- keep in mind I believe I have the tism, so it may be different for others- is the internalization (not just the understanding) that other people have deep rich complicated lives just like you. Because of this there is this inherent need or pull to treat them well- because regardless of who they are or their flaws at the end of the day they are essentially my equal. Maybe not my equal in every dimension of life, but overall their worth is no inherently better or worse than mine. At the end of the day we just are. You will die. You will be forgotten. it is inevitable. The only thing that matters is our relationships with others in the current moment and our impact on them. Every decision that every one of us makes changes and affects the future in ways that are profound. In denying someone as being your inherent equal, you become blind to what exactly who someone is and what they can offer the world (not just you). Even when my narc ex discarded me and tried to enact revenge, I understood all of the past that led her to that moment. All of the trauma, the self-loathing, the shame, and the fear formed her into who she was and I empathized. I felt her pain- even if she didn't herself. I felt it because I could see how she treated people was slowly eating her alive, but she didn't even realize it. I guess I kind of pity her, but I don't think I pity her in the way that she would want (she's covert). Once again there is a difference between understanding all of this and internalizing it.

@mcmjclemence738 Год назад

4 & 5. I know who I am now. I filled myself with the values I really believe in (which I found after a period of depression) and I apply them in my life (or try my really best) so I'm quite at peace with myself. I'm pretty confident. I know people can be wrong, and arrogant, and influenced, so yes I mostly don't care if/when they misjudge me or criticize me. I don't fake no more generally and I have a bit of grandiosity so I love it. I'm focused on my goals. I think before I act (except when I let myself go temporally for fun, but I still feel in control). I'm lucky too now but I've put some work into it, and I come back from the depths. Wish you good, thank you for your work❣️

@brandyschroeder4759 Год назад

You have valid questions that not one person will ever have answers to. Some people give their opinions and don't have knowledge experience or empathy

@jenheartbeawesome Год назад

Love this list. Very illuminating. As someone who used to have bpd traits, had cptsd & I have adhd. I lend to the empathic side like when I watch movies I can put myself emotionally into the characters, even though it's acting, they can make me cry & or feel intense emotions. a few friends whom are say less emotionally attuned or vulnerable make fun of me for crying becausei allow myself to let go of me to immersemyself in the story or characters so much my emotional boundries are fluid enough that I assume what the intent of the writers or actors in the moment. I do the same when I'm fully present & feel safe with a friend or even strangers. To me like books or stories of anyone if I allow myself to be moved, they move me. There are times when I'm not moved & quite numb as well. I used to very numb & had little to no sense of self & felt lonely & empty. Not fun times before I worked on myself. I also used to work in social work counseling & have had many clients with various mental health conditions including clusterBs aspd, npd, bpd along with other ND & NTypicals. I learned how to shore up my emotional boundrues and not feel as intensely based on need to help support a client without my stuff getting in the way & self protection emotionally I worked with lots of clients with severe trauma one has to turn down the emotional dial to cope with hundreds or thousands of experiences of abuse, neglect, torture well as for the potential manipulation that occurs in dynamics with unconscious folks NT & ND alike. PS Every human on the planet has narcissistic traits but not everyone is at either extreme end of the spectrum. Narcissistic traits can help someone take care of themselves their needs like work, eat food, etc to an extreme either not caring enough about one's personal needs or too much without consideration of others needs is where the Fun is put in Dysfunction lol Jacob your channel is helping so many people! Those who experience life similarly to you and those who hopefully gain perspective & compassion for your & other individuals with NPD experience. Oh my adhd going back to your note on not caring what people think. It is possible but it takes a lot of self acceptance & practice owning one's value outside of other's opinions which funny enough opinions are not 100% empirically factual most of the time. Because others may notice a behavior or internal flaw but they can never fully know the totality of another human. The judgement is already a false practice because peaople are not all good or all bad people are peopleing some more healthy or productive. An opinion of one small snapshot of someone's characteristic is not completely indicative as the person as a whole. I dont care what most people think about me especially when its not matching my self concept. My guess approximately 90% of the idea this is true. The other 10% that may trigger me, still shows my own healing work I still need to do & practice on, or shows faulty distorted thoughts that continue need rewriting. Thank you for being. You do matter even if you may not feel it. I hope in time, the invisible critical scripts or voices your mind replays becomes a faint memory especially with all the hard work you are putting in. Be well!

@fevah26 Год назад

I've turned down promotions twice. Made a ton of money early on and was miserable. Money doesn't buy happiness. I used to think ppl that said that just don't know where to shop... lol. But seriously though, i felt like I was owned by that company, took over my life, hated it. Life, imo, is more about being authentic ... no one is better at being you, than you. No one can do it better. If you don't fulfill it ... that makes a person average. A narcissist, such as yourself, that still has traits and disorder but owns it, expresses it, makes videos and publishes it... that's authentic. That's real shit. Genuine. Just bc you you may not know exactly who you are every waking moment, doesn't matter. You authentically express the confusion, moments of enlightenment, need for feedback and reassurance. That's real. And you should recognize the authenticity of it. It's the reason your channel is growing. Keep going!

@daffy501 Год назад

Hell yeah, Wild Rock Dove! Perfectly said!!

@DhyanaIris-du1nu 7 месяцев назад

Crying at weddings - it’s an energy field that one feels, behind longing for and seeing that very rare moment of two people connecting and letting go to each other on all layers? If that deeper energy isn’t authentically there, it doesn’t affect me emotionally at all.

@jodyw1 9 месяцев назад

And this is where I have a shit-ton of compassion for you. Not getting or experiencing these things in a meaningful (to you) way is where I wish it were possible to bottle these experiences and share them.

@veebliss1266 Год назад

I can easily cry when I see someone else cry it’s an automatic trigger feeling inside , my heart hurts it makes my stomach sink and all I can feel is distress for them ,I don’t how to explain it but I am very sensitive I cry from commercials , movies etc if they are sad , happy or just different plots , crying at weddings can be just from the milestone occurring and being there to witness it , watching your friend grow into adult and find the love of his life . It’s a history moment for family and friends to see them become one with another . I’ve cried for being over joyed when someone did something so sweet and I had so much gratitude that someone’s heart was so big to think of me or do something sweet, it’s like I could feel their soul , sounds so cheesy but only way I can describe it , I’ve also cried during anger , it was a mixture of hurt , vulnerability and betrayal all at once and I had no words just my body releasing the pain I felt. I can also cry when nervous or scared so many reasons how I can , I’m just overly sensitive and probably a HSP plus being a cancer doesn’t help either 😅 I always felt that I could sense or feel the inner child when with ex narc , there was glimpses of vulnerability that made me feel like I was seeing a child? When I went no contact it hurt so much because I felt like part of me was abandoning a lost boy. I worried for him like mother and son. (I didn’t realize this until later and research’) but I remembered the feeling .It was such a weird situation when with narcissist ex , on some situations , was my antennas picking up his inner subconscious who knows or maybe he was picking up mine and reflecting it back lol 😂 😊

@jackidezell3736 Год назад

Yes with empathy we love that person so much and understand what their feeling and the pain they’re in so deeply we cry with and for them. That same warm feeling around our hearts, actually hurts with sadness and despair for them.

@janx8695 Год назад

Pathological narcissists have a condition that impairs the social neuronetworks of the brain. The very regions of the brain that handle how we relate, connect, empathize, manage our emotions, take accountability, reason (socially), inhibit impulses, and practice morality are dysfunctional in this population. There is no therapy that can improve that very complex set of social neuronetworks. In pathological narcissists we see the break-down of affective resonance in their inability to connect deeply with us. To feel with, for, and about us. The amygdala is an emotion processing area, connecting experiences with feelings.Within this neurological process of connecting, feeling with/ for, and being moved by another - other areas of the brain such as the prefrontal cortex and portions of the parietal lobe are recruited as well to account for self awareness and emotion regulation. Narcissists and psychopaths have to rely solely on the prefrontal cortex to imitate a limbic initiated process. Their limited or absent affective resonance destroys their chances at a true connection. . They may tell you that they care, but because affective resonance is nearly always in action when we are in the presence of another living being … you will not feel that they care. What you may feel, especially if you are a person of high empathy, is that their words are hollow. You will feel that it is just superficial and shallow. You will feel that something is missing and this might even cause you to feel a sunken feeling of disappointment when your limbic system searches for a healthy connection in your partner and it comes up empty. Affective resonance is all about the feeling of the interaction. affective resonance is the dynamic entanglement of moving and being-moved). Narcissists and psychopaths are not moved by us emotionally; with them we cannot have a deep, shared emotional experience. That means a pathological narcissist can have an extremely high IQ or be very talented in some regard, yet also be socially deficient. Different systems within our brain manages different functions and should work together as a cohesive system of you. Unlike other conditions we treat in psychology, this condition impacts their social interactions, thought processes, personality and behavior. We rely on these components to be stable when we interact with others - especially our intimate partner. When someone has deficits of this magnitude (pathological narcissism) that means most people will not be able to have a peaceful, cooperative, reciprocal relationship with them. The level of accommodation one would have to extend to maintain a relationship with them will be extreme (e.g., walking on eggshells; always submitting to a fragile ego). We lean on our social neuronetworks within the brainto be able to connect to others; to relate to them; respect and appreciate them. Pathological narcissists cannot do any other those functions because the neuropathways of those brain regions are not functioning as they should. Research findings consistently support the presence of dysfunction within the brain (varying in range) of individuals with pathological narcissism Changing the way they process information, view social interactions, and ‘feel’ (emotional empathy) for others is not something they have the capacity to make happen. However, it is not uncommon for an individual with pathological narcissism to tell their intimate partners that they will change, get better, or do better. This is usually short-lived. The brain disorder will predominate and the pathological narcissists’ manner of thinking and functioning re-emerges. Example - You love and bond with him/her across the span of your relationship, however the individual with pathological narcissism (due to faulty social neuronetworks) will disconnect, become disinterested, and antagonistic, perhaps even hateful across that same time period. Their behavior is in complete opposition to what ‘normals’ do when they are intimately involved and care about someone. Neurobiological abnormalities of this magnitude cannot be altered by the narcissist’s promise to change or “be better.” there will be no change to their emotional processing Emotional processing refers to their ability to form empathy, care, demonstrate morality, and bond. Those are unchangeable. , the neurobiological systems that are responsible for morality, emotional empathy, care for others, impulse control, bonding, fear responsivity, and reward are faulty for pathological narcissists. Those brain systems do not operate the way they should. Hence, the reason they cannot function with genuine love, kindness, or respect toward the people who love them. The interconnections of the ventromedial prefrontal cortex to other areas of the brain are weak and this should not be. This is a huge problem and is likely associated with their immorality and lack of concern for others. There are many regions of the brain, including neurochemistry that are different for those with pathological narcissism. Aside from their minimal empathy, a tendency toward boredom, and aggression, one of the primary facets of their character that creates problems in their relationships is their lack of morality. Because of the symptoms of the condition, they cannot genuinely relate well to others, especially in intimate relationships. Their emotional disorder simply prevents this. Even if they are not abusive to their partners - they cannot connect and fulfill that deep desire we have to feel bonded to someone. There is no Empathy, Bonding , Appreciation, Trust & Honesty, Moral Reasoning & Care based morality, Respect & Boundaries, Emotional regulation, Accountability, Impulse control in Intimate relationships with pathological narcissists. They do not value or consider the emotions of their partner important. They value self only. Rather than love their partners, the deepest they can reach is to treat them like possessions or objects. Abuse and love are combinations you’ll never find in healthy relationships - Never. Healthy and mature partners instinctively know the line that should not be crossed. They don’t cross it because they love you and care about your feelings - even when they are angry or disappointed in you. Arguments and disagreements cannot erase the extremely deep bond a healthy person has for their partner. They love you, even if they may not like your actions at the moment. Without empathy the relationship is shallow and everyone is disposable. And everyone is just as easily retrieved. pathologically narcissistic people objectify other people. They view all people as objects that can be controlled, used, stolen, bought and sold on and owned, including themselves. They don't appear to understand any human beings as complete Sovereign individuals with all their own needs, wants, feelings, beliefs, preferences or anything else. For narcissists not acknowledging the feelings needs or wants of others goes beyond not caring into a space of not even seeing these things. They don't know that they don't care and they don't care that they don't know. In many ways many narcissists are completely out of touch with their own needs, wants, beliefs, feelings and everything else about themselves. They're just walking around the world doing things and reacting to stuff without knowing why or caring. They're on automatic pilot repeating the same patterns and sequences and acting out the same melodramatic scenes over and over again throughout their lives. They often genuinely have no idea why they do things and legitimately no interest in finding out. just doesn't seem to matter. Many even seem afraid of trying to figure these things out. People sometimes think that narcissists must be able to understand the feelings wants needs and beliefs of others if they can use them against you to upset you or manipulate you or create positive feelings in you, but the reality is that even a child of five or six can tell you what to do to make people like you or make them not like you or how to hurt somebody's feelings or get them to do what you want. It's not some secret power that narcissists have it's not magic and it requires no special skill or intelligence at all. Narcissists have learned what buttons to push to get what they want and to assume they understand how this works on any real level maybe giving many of them more credit than they really deserve. It's just really not that difficult to do even kids can do it and it can be done very successfully by people who have no understanding of how it works at all. The only "skill" they truly need is a willingness to do it. The reason it's so effective is because you're actually fighting yourself. You're fighting your own feelings of guilt and shame or to hold on to your own fantasy or against your own cognitive dissonance. Narcissists simply repeat what you've said to them in many situations and if it's effective for them, meaning if it leads to the result they wanted they will keep repeating it.

@debral9651 Год назад

The tears at a wedding are happiness that someone else has found happiness and contentness in their life. It's being overcome with joy at two beautiful people who clearly love each other. It's like the joy you get when you see animals doing something cute or looking cute and fluffy.

@blove2023 Год назад

You know what, you being vulnerable is really beautiful. Appreciate THAT about yourself. You're brave 💪 for that. Know that, that part of you is genuine 💓.

@ChristineBellario-go3qq 7 месяцев назад

Compassion, kindness and integrity in your own actions lead to self respect. If you live with integrity you don't care what others think. Great what you are doing here! Very brave. Being brave leads to self respect too. Doing the right thing leads to self respect.

@Enjoytheshow435 11 месяцев назад

I also can’t understand all you mentioned. Here are two from me 1)Relaxing and enjoying the silence with a company without entertaining or trying to impress to avoid awkwardness or to defuse tension in the air that only exist in our heads. 2)Existing without a constant self, analyzing self checking self criticizing as if we are watching ourselves acting from above bird eyed view and playing the devil’s advocate against all our thoughts and opinions

@brandyschroeder4759 Год назад

I sometimes pretend to be happy even when I'm not cause I don't want to ground advertising my business I don't want to burden others with my stress

@lalunar8 Месяц назад

Yes abandonment is the worst feeling in the world. And i was recently abandoned by my significant other whom i believe is a narcissist. He not only abandoned me but went with someone else immediately, and told me that its my fault. Absolutely the worst feeling in the world 😢

@johnnymillar9056 10 месяцев назад

Okay I don't cry at weddings but I understand why people do. However, I do cry tears of joy. When I'm watching a heroic or self sacrificing act in a piece of media, I cry because of how much that person cares about the people they're protecting. When my girlfriend makes me feel loved or shows a deep understanding of my character, I cry tears of joy. With the media example, it's usually that I get a huge wave of goosebumps, a sense of awe and wonder at someone greater than myself, and then a lump in my throat and then tears. When it's like the gf example, it's honestly the opposite of sad crying. Just like in sad crying where the feelings of worthlessness are so strong that you can't hold back the tears and they just burst out, the feelings of joy and connection are so strong that it bursts forth in the same way, but the opposite reasons

@exile_cz Год назад

Cryin on weddings is because the emotions are too strong to handle. Its life changing moment, its make you remind youl whole life, the path u walk untill this day

@artegentile8365 Год назад

Empathy is imagining yourself in that situation and seeing the other as yourself - you feel their feelings because you are in deep touch with all alive beings as one. There's a totality of life on earth that empathetic people live as a reality in their soul. It's a belief that is embedded when you have experienced receiving empathy as a child.

@leotardbanshee Год назад

When I cry at a wedding, I get the same feeling someone would feel watching a baby walk for the first time, like a sense of overwhelming joy, pride, excitement, happiness that my two friends get to share a wonderful day around people who love them, I feel overwhelmed with love, and I remember what a beautiful day my wedding was and I hope my friends are having the best most beautiful day too with the person they will hopefully love for the rest of their lives. I feel grateful that they will have the day to look back on, grateful I could see their relationship grow, and happy they look so amazing in their outfits, and excited for their new lives together. Those are the reasons I cry. Other people can cry for very different reasons, grief of losing their previous relationship to a person, envy that they are not married yet, maybe it reminds them of their wedding but they are divorced. There are so many emotions that people have during a wedding, but men being conditioned not to cry about anything emotional is very common, and there will always be people who don't cry at weddings. I hope this helps, and I hope peace finds you.

@godbyelebenohnegott 11 месяцев назад

1) Crying at weddings: Feeling so deeply touched by love for that other person and feeling yourself how much that wedding means to the other person. 2) Being content with being average: To you it may seem that average people are all the same, like a grey indistinguishable mass. But in reality everybody is different and has their own unique talents. I get validation in specific situations. I don't need to show off because I know what I can do and I also know my faults. Why pretend I am a superhuman? Nobody is. It's such a waste of energy. Turning down promotions: It depends on the promotion and what it requires. I know fully well that people at the top are often douchebags. I don't see people above me in the hierarchy necessarily as better than me. Sometimes it's the opposite. 3) Believing things are equal: It's about having the same rights, not being exactly the same. People who have talents in some area often have deficits in others. So, the sum total may not be so different between people. Giving everybody the equal rights stops wasting energy on infighting and allows people to put their energy into more productive things. 4) Not caring what others think: I don't believe either that anybody can be totally indifferent. But at the end of the day, if someone dislikes me, that does not affect my life. It's like a fly buzzing at the window. You give others way too much power by taking their thoughts seriously. 6) Knowing who you are: Of course feedback from others throughout our lives has shaped our feeling of who we are. But the feeling does not need to be constantly refreshed to keep existing. 7) Of course a lot of people are also faking things to some degree. But not always. When you do things without waiting for anybody's reaction, it is authentic. And to me, it feels very good to be authentic. It is like being calm within myself and not easily shaken. 8) We do get abandoned and we don't like it. It does make us sad and angry and anxious. But the key difference is that we know life will go on and we will find someone else. People with PTSD feel abandonment differently, though. It feels existential. Like a child that literally cannot survive without their parents. 9) Crying: Some people are more prone to it than others. Empathy is, you imagine how you would feel in that situation. As a result, you either connect with that other person and they feel understood and that you care about them, or you know what that person needs right now and you give it to them if you can. Because you know you would also appreciate that in return. Nobody is always strong. A society without empathy would be extremely cruel. Having too much empathy, though, is not good either because it gets you down. People are on a spectrum on that, and it also depends on the specific situation. Empathy comes more natural if you know a situation from your own experience. 10) Whether you see people as rather good than bad, depends on your individual worldview and experiences. That varies widely. But just think of how often you go on an errand and nobody bothers you, even if they have a bad day. People usually don't rob you just because they want money. Why don't they? Because they don't want to live in a world where everybody is at everybody's throat all the time. Humanity could not survive that way. But you learn throughout life to avoid the sharks ;) Hope that helps. Sorry for the long text.

@BillRWare Год назад

Jacob...first of all...I commend you for putting forth this particular video. It demonstrates a level of wisdom and humility that is essential for you to function productively in spite of your disorder. I'm not going to endeavor a response to any particular question. A couple of things you need to appreciate... 1) in asking the questions, you are attempting to conceptualize phenomena not easily conceptualized 2) the English language, as rich as it is, does not possess sufficient words to embody all of the concepts you require for the questions you ask In other words...what you seek, for the most part, can only be attained in an experiential sort of way. Thus, my best answer to you is to continue to be open to experiences, and allow the concepts to embody themselves into you.

@MoMo-uj6xb Год назад

amazing how your mind works..so different, feels like the world is upside down. great idea this video, is helpful. hope you find prospective and ideas in people's answers

@blove2023 Год назад

I honestly NEVER feel empty. Sometimes sad, depressed, angry, anxious, but never empty. I love who I am as a human being. I feel full inside from God's Holy spirit. Also knowing I am honest, genuine, intelligent, very talented, appreciative. I enjoy all of God's gifts, water, sun, food, animals, beautiful landscapes, my family, etc. Sometimes being alone feels calming. I pray, sing, dance, reflect, rest, exercise, do crafts, clean, etc. I recharge from the hectic world. 😊

@jackidezell3736 Год назад

I know what I accomplished and my character so yes I know exactly who I am, and I know my heart. There’s a warmth and strength and fulfillment feeling in and around our hearts when we are good people so we do know who we are and feel full and content in that.

@dogtrainingmexico Год назад

I tend to agree, and it also comes with getting older and accomplishing important things in life

@jackidezell3736 Год назад

@@dogtrainingmexico funny I accomplished the most when I was young.

@paythepenance8980 Год назад

Diogenes was a good example of someone comfortable in their own skin. Told Caesar to get out of his way, shit talked all the most prolific philosophers of his society, and lived as a homeless person by choice. I’m not Diogenes, but I would speculate that he had enough joy in being self-actualized as the man he was to refuse opportunities of higher station. The only person he considered someone worth learning from, was a random child he observed that drank from his hands, and upon witnessing this Diogenes discarded his food bowl now considering it a worthless object. On the flip side, consider certain multimillionaire CEOs that go on vacation trips to Columbia for ayahuasca resorts, and end up murdering their practitioners in a drug/stress rage. They have more than most people on this planet yet they live anxious, neurotic lives trying to protect their investments and lifestyles from any perceived threats. There are also CEOs that live normal lives like Bill Gates and homeless people that live miserable lives, but the point remains that CEOs should be more comfortable than most if they truly are the pinnacles of success people see them as. Whereas the homeless are expected to be miserable for having less.

@Speakup117 7 месяцев назад

1:25 Im so sorry terribly sorry. Crying from happiness is like a pilar of energy straight from God is highting me in the face and melting it off and the tears feel totally equal to laughing whole heartdly. Its amazing. Maybe youre not religious but im praying for you

@DhyanaIris-du1nu 7 месяцев назад

Yes, fear of abandonment runs deep; one of the big things that I’ve had to work with. Painful! But if one feels it to the very bottom, where it first got imprinted on the body, then there’s possibilities of transforming that energy and emotion. Always a work in process; instead of zooming away from them is so hard. And also so liberating! My experience is that somatic work brings the quickest results.

@lalunar8 Месяц назад

For me, I will cry when I'm so filled with any emotion. It's like what I feel when someone says it touches their soul. For example when I went to Florence Italy and I was standing in front of the David carved by Michelangelo I literally cried because I was so filled with emotions, crying was a release

@DhyanaIris-du1nu 7 месяцев назад

Not feeling empty - that’s why I do meditation, that’s why I dance, that’s why I do art… these hold energy for me; they are juicy sources. Actually much more juicy than other people. That’s just my experience.

@PassionateFlower Год назад

Tears of joy for others at weddings or other happy occasions stem from Compersion. Compersion is related to “sympathetic joy,” which is our wholehearted participation in the happiness of others. It includes the positive thoughts, emotions, and sensations derived from knowing of another person's gratifying experience, even when this experience does not involve or benefit us directly Compersion is the opposite of Shadenfreude. Compersion is deriving genuine pleasure or joy for other's good fortune. Schadenfreude is deriving genuine pleasure or joy for other's misfortune and suffering.

@PS-qn4oz 3 месяца назад

"Are we sure that not everybody else is just like us, and we just KNOW that we're doing it. We're just not running on instinct as much as they are." This. I know some intelligent people who consider themselves mentally ill, and they are usually highly articulate and specific with their wording, also hyper-aware of their inner space and mercilessly objective or critical when describing it. But there's a break-over point where one is trying to make the words do something they just cannot do, no matter how real, clear, and well-spoken someone is. Some people get hung up on that and blame themselves for communication breakdowns. In reality there are operational limits. Even a phenomenal speaker and a great, empathic listener sometimes cannot sufficiently connect because of their radically different background experiences. Silence can be healing. Maybe emptiness is alright. Some spiritual masters say, that's actually all there is or supposed to be. It's just difficult and lonely being evolved but invisible. But life is difficult anyway.

@Mechanically_Speaking Год назад

Because of empathy, its an overwhelming emotion. Its not like happiness it more of a sentimentality

@jackidezell3736 Год назад

Yes Jacob we don’t even think how we come across unless it’s a touchy situation. It is natural, to be charismatic etc.

@debbiehomesley509 Год назад

You are so awesome! I l love your “realness” I wish I had you to talk to in my life on a regular basis….🥰

@merry8092 Год назад

The wedding I attended had me crying….he grew up in New York and was a gangster in Harlem. She grew up by the ocean and had married a man who died young, leaving her with two children to raise. He had become a cop who traveled the world teaching struggling countries how to defend themselves against ethnic cleansing. She became a nurse, that’s where I met her, in nursing school. They had an incredible romance and watching him watch her walk down the aisle toward him and their future together; was so beautiful. Pure poetry. We could talk for days about the subjects you speak of. Societal design created oppressions to cause the shutting down of emotions such as the lack of ambition that you speak of. Have you ever been gripped by poetry or a song?

@Julia-2709 Год назад

As someone with bpd I tried to answer some of your questions but some I couldn't answer because I had the same questions as you 1.When I cry at a weeding or at something happy its because I am so moved that something good finally happens to someone I care about and me and that life can be good too. I probably wouldn't cry at the wedding though but afterwards because I hate crying in front of people 2. I can be content with being average because I would love to just seem average and not seem strange and out of place and the only thing that matters in life to me anyway is that I am finally loved by someone and I feel secure and that would be enough for me.The only exception is that I want to come off as tough and stronger than others.But sometimes I wish I would not have that wish and could just be average and not care about if I come off sad or anxious or any other emotions I see as weak in myself. 3.For me people have equal worth because everybody is alive and has feelings and for me that means that they have value and I see beauty in other people pretty easily only in myself not 4. What not caring about what people think I dont get that either I care so much all the time and if someone criticizes me its like I am worthless. 5. I can't say anything about that too because I also feel empty all the time and I also need other people to tell me who I am 6. Not everything I do seems fake but many things seem fake like smalltalk and being at work etc but when I am with friends I trust I feel pretty real 7. I dont believe in soulmates and I think love has no logic so it doesn't matter if people I see are perfect for each other or not if they love each other and it works 8. I have immense fear of abandonment so I Cant answer that 9.When my best friend tells me something extremely bad and that she was abused and stuff like that I cry and feel extremely bad because I just feel that this is so unfair that something so bad happened to her and I see these event in my mind almost like it is happening right now to her 10. I dont think the world is full of good people but there are some people that proved to me that I can trust them but yeah some people that know me think that I think that the world is full of good people because I see something valuable and beautiful in everyone ( expect like Adolf Hitler) but deep down I am sometimes horrified about the values of others because I try my best to be a very honest person and to not talk badly about other people and to treat other people good and I see so many people doing the opposite and just dont care about it.

@sethstewart9704 Год назад

Man, I really feel like I understand where narcissists come from now. Everything a narcissist experiences is normal, but cranked up. The insecurities are common ones, but amplified. For someone without NPD these negatives are like a pit, but it's a void for the narcissist. The narcissist has discarded the possibility of being anything less than great to avoid the insecurity, but it's our nothingness that makes us human. Humans are nothing. No one's important. The narcissist has lost an essential part of themself, and it trying to fill that void.

@kekecampbell812 Год назад

Self reflection helps with knowing who you are without anyone telling you

@marissaclifford4882 8 месяцев назад

(1) It is true I can cry from feeling overjoyed about something. I think it's usually because I feel joy at weddings for the people getting married, and I can feel everyone else's joy so it's easy to cry at weddings for me. (2) I feel like it can be great to try to do the next biggest thing, but I think your friend that turned down the promotion felt really passionate about the job they were doing and wouldn't feel passionate about taking the promotion because their focus is more do what makes me happy, and happiness doesn't always equal success for me, best way I can explain why your friend might have turned down the promotion. (3) I've been thinking a lot about how I see people as equal. It's like I still recognize some people are naturally better at certain subjects like math or science than others, but it just makes them better at that specific thing, not like as a person in general. I seem to see objects as equal too, for example my favorite colors purple, but the other colors are just as important and great. So, I still have preferences, but they don't make the value higher or lower. (4) I think anyone would feel frustrated being told a huge lie about them that wasn't true. I would be upset about that too, but I care so often about how others are being treated so sometimes I wouldn't focus on what they said about me as much. I totally think you handled that situation correctly, great job. (5) I don't know what it's like to feel empty emotionally except I have dissociated before but that might be different to the emptiness you feel. I think knowing who I am and having affective empathy and not feeling empty go together. I feel like I know who I am because I know what I like the most, but hearing from others who I am is helpful too. I considered myself artistic and am confident in that because I know how much I like drawing and crafty things. I consider myself empathetic without people telling me because I know I how I view and feel others' emotions. (6) I think sometimes people think about how they're going to act, but sometimes for some it happens naturally, and they might not even realize that's how they were appearing to others until the other person was telling them. (7) Not everyone is perfect for each other, and couples can be too different to be compatible for each other. So, I don't think that's envy, at least entirely. However, as you described, the people sitting on a park bench holding hands but not talking; talking isn't as necessary all the time in relationships because of the emotional connection. (8) I feel like abandonment is scary for everyone to some extent as you said, and people can definitely be abandoned by friends and family as well as romantic partners. Abandonment is painful but usually a support system of friends and family makes it easier to deal with and knowing there's other people to meet and get along with. (9) Yes, whether you can believe it or not feeling others emotions is really. It's likely to start cry if someone else is crying for me, or if I don't cry, I would still have the strong feeling of crying because of feeling their emotions. The emotions of others take a while or are hard to switch of sometimes and will be on my mind and be felt for hours, I wouldn't feel completely back to normal after feeling the guilt from when you played the character having an affair, I would still feel that even when alone for a while. (10) That is true that I feel like people aren't out to get me. I have instantly trusted people, but I'm learning to not be quite as trusting. I think you're right to be cautious of other people to some degree. I think feeling the hurt others have been through makes it easier to think of people differently. Thats how I think of it.

@themaninthemirror4363 Год назад

So, I'll try to explain my personal view on those things based on my experience, feelings and understanding of the world, if you don't mind Jake 1- Marriage is a symbol of love, and true love is beautiful. Two people sharing that experience is something that brings a tear to the eye, it's just so beautiful to most people that they cry. It's really intense and joyful. 2- It's completely understandable to want to prioritize what you like doing or feel comfortable with over simply the status of a higher position. Surely it is great to be ambitious, but everyone has their idea of a good professional career. It's not all about the status for many people. 3- I really hope this doesn't come off as offensive to you, but it only comes down to preference. If chocolate ice cream A and chocolate ice cream B are basically the same, you can choose based on some attribute like the flavor, texture, price, etc. You may view something as "superior" because you personally preffer this or that attribute. No one is absolutely equal but everyone deserves the same respect. I think most people spend more time deciding what they like most than categorizing everything as inferior or superior, including people. 4- It's really about insecurity. Like, you don't necessarily need to be a pwNPD to be insecure about the opinions of others. People-pleasers are like that too. It's just that more narcissistic people worry a lot more about what people think of THEM specifically. 5- I feel like that's something more complicated to explain, but I think this comes down to the false-self dinamic. And it's really hard for someone who is not NPD to understand. When I imagine something like that, I have to admit, it really frightens me. It's so scary. I'm sorry. 6- Most people do what's comfortable for them to do, and are what they are without calculating everything. Sure, they may do something expecting a result but it's not everytime, everywhere. When you said that I remembered when I saw Sam Vaknin saying that he views himself as a machine, not a human. And the way I understand narcissists view themselves is kind of like an empty shell that needs to fake everything in order to exist. And no, it's not exactly auto-pilot, like they have no conscience of it. It's just that they feel comfortable and happy being the way they are. 7- No one is perfect for no one. I don't blame your narcissism for that, I think it's more a western cultural ideal that's a byproduct of the era of romanticism. People can be compatible without being "perfect" for each other. Most healthy relationships exist in a way in which both parties can talk problems out and live in a (mostly) harmonious way. And many non-narcissists struggle with that as well, so don't worry. And no one said they're not afraid of being left... They might be, you never know :p 8- This one is really interesting. You are absolutely right, no one likes to be abandoned. It's horrible. It's just that for neurotipical people that's something that doesn't directly relate to early trauma, so they don't make their sense of self rely on the other person being there for them. They can move on eventually and, despite the pain, find new joy and happiness. And I can tell you, they are ABSOLUTELY BOTHERED by this. 9- Empathy is not an specific emotion, it's the capacity to understand the other person's emotion and situation, even if that hasn't happened to you. I don't know how I can explain this to you, but it's like, caring and thinking about what the other person might feel if you say something, seeing that a person is not feeling well enough to do something, etc. It's mostly about thinking about the other, and what might be happening to them. If they're happy or sad, if they feel anxious, or even if they're trying to hide something. It's not like, an attitude specifically, it's more of an ability and willingness to see the other person, as a separate identity from you. And yeah, some people don't show that much empathy all the time, but most have an ability to do so, and, somehow, I believe you might develop that too, someday. I hope so. 10- You have all the reason in the world to believe that. We all have the ability to do evil, and there's plenty of evil in the world. But it's better to trust that not everyone is evil, or inherently so, because in the end, not even narcissists are like that. They are just absurdly traumatized and end up doing things that are seen as evil, but it's truly not your intention. You just want to survive. But the world is really not evil nor good, the universe is completely indifferent to our moral judgements. In nature, the beautiful flower that flourishes and lights up our mood is as natural as the plague, diseases and stuff like that. Humans are like that as well. They are good AND evil. We are imperfect beings after all. I know I wrote a lot but I hope it helps, in my opinion you are really not an asshole but a person who views himself and acts like one but is really traumatized. And I hope your find your way out of this, truly.

@JohnJohn-hd1pc Год назад

What a beautiful way you say things. I have a few people in my life like you; if only it could be all of them. Namaste

@MultiSenhor Год назад

Most people don't feel _abandoned_ , they usually just know the person had other things to do, or other preferences and they went to do their own thing. That person wasn't their caretaker, they aren't children, they aren't sick or crippled, they aren't being abandoned if they can take care of themselves. I hope this didn't come across as harsh, because it sounded harsh to myself as I'm reading it, but I'm just trying to illustrate it.

@josephbenham649 Год назад

1. Because it’s beautiful and invokes deep emotions 2. You’re going to be average in some things, but in others you may really exceed. Like career versus family. I personally do not care about the rat race of making money. After a certain point it becomes superficial nonsense to me. If I can consistently make enough to sustain doing a job that I actually enjoy, then I’m golden. 3. Everyone is inherently equal from a baseline of existence. Sure there’s subcategories when it comes to specific things, but no one deserves more or less than anyone else, actions aside. 4. I only care about what the people who are important to me think of me. People out there are just not going to like you sometimes for whatever reason. No matter what you do it’s gonna happen. Getting too upset over this is a lost cause, especially when it’s because they’re just miserable people or don’t understand. Either way, if it doesn’t tangibly affect you then what does it matter anyway? 5. You know who you are by your character, beliefs, interests, talents, codes of conduct with others, etc. Being charismatic is what it is. You’re either being it or you’re not. If someone else reflects that back to you or not is irrelevant. 6. I despise faking and cease to do it at all costs. It’s like I’m lying to myself, being inauthentic, and something inside of me will not let me do it. It feels yuck. Plus it makes me feel like I’m manipulating people or a situation and I don’t like that either. 7. The important thing about dating is being with someone on your same wave length. You could have all kinds of different interests, but if you see and interact with the world in the same way, that’s everything. 8. Break ups for me are especially tough. Losing friends sucks too, but it’s not as bad. 9. I’ll feel bad for people I don’t really know, but never cry. If it’s someone I care about I might depending on the situation, or if I’ve experienced something similar to what they’re going through and can relate to how awful it is. 10. For a good portion of growing up people assume the world is full of good people because they figure everyone else is like them since that’s all they know. But as you start to experience more of life, that will start to shift. No offense, but nothing has ever made me see people more radically different than after my last relationship with a narcissist. It really messed me up knowing there are people out there who will consciously use, abuse, and manipulate you with no remorse. It was a shock to my entire system and world view. And sure you hear about people like this, but to actually experience them is a whole other story.

@michellelmcgraw Год назад

You gave a perfect explanation & I hate to have to say I know exactly how you feel describing your relationship experience w/a narcissist. It’s mentally & emotionally devastating.

@josephbenham649 Год назад

@@michellelmcgraw it really is. And thank you!

@DhyanaIris-du1nu 7 месяцев назад

You’re right, that narcissism is a slidable bead on the spectrum of human behavior. As with being an empath, it’s just a question of whether or not one wishes to expand their range.

@tothier Год назад

Thank you again! You bless us every time again, these truths are priceless for the humanity ❤❤❤ btw: You’ve got a great barber doing your hair, as I can see! 💇‍♂️✨👌👍✨

@TranscendingTrauma Год назад

Just to sort of help, you conceptualize the feeling state of empathy. I remember in one of your videos you talked about the visceral feeling you had about someone doing something embarrassing. And how you didn’t feel that for them, but that feeling rose up inside of you. You felt that embarrassment so you actually do you have that capability of the feeling type of empathy I think you’re just giving it a different meaning. Like when that visceral feeling rises up in me, I can see how they feel embarrassed. I can feel that with them. I think shame gets in the way of allowing that feeling state of empathy.

@sdeb3333 Месяц назад

Empathy is what happens when people see someone having an emotion and recognise the same emotion in themselves. Its an excercise. An excercise that healthy people have been doing for so long that it has become their reflex. Narcissists have never been taught to do this excercise so due to desuetude they can't seem to do that. Empathy is picking up on someone else's emotions. The circumstances of the other person may be unlike anything I have ever experienced but the outward expression of their emotion reminds me of the same emotion - under different circumstances- that I must have experienced at some point in life. So I begin to relieve that emotion in me. Thus end up crying along or genuinely feel happy at someone else's happiness. That's when bonding happens. But narcissists end up making a different excercises at those moments. They get busy studying how does the other person experiencing an emotion impact them. Actually both the excercises are healthy upto a point.And healthy individuals strike a balance. EMPATHY, as in an excercise, serves a huge purpose in preserving life on earth. Its the reason why mothers don't throw their kids away when they are crying and when mothers do, the kids may turn into narcissists who at an early age were now denied to witness empathy. So they grow without the concept of it and hence don't appreciate it. PS: empathy is always a little bit of guess work. That is why there is a risk of empathizing with the wrong person. This is exactly where narcissists come in.

@DhyanaIris-du1nu 7 месяцев назад

How do I know who I am? One of my favorites of your questions! I am not static; I’m more like music. There’s an underlying melody that’s recognizable. However, improvisation, new riffs, all that is constantly happening. Me as a being is constantly transforming and growing and mutating. I don’t try to hold onto solidity.

@lss74 8 месяцев назад

No. 9: Empathy Some people are extremely sensitive. For example, if someone close to me is ill or suffering I can almost FEEL it.... literally . It can really affect me. Also, I don't even have to directly know someone. For example, the recent death of Matthew Perry the FRIENDS actor (Chandler) .... I felt like my stomach turned ....really felt it! My eyes immediately brimmed with tears. Had a kind of shock feeling in my chest. Actually physical responses. When thinking of how his Parents felt these feelings washed over me very strongly.

@DhyanaIris-du1nu 7 месяцев назад

Faking versus being authentic; one has to look for the doorway to authenticity in each moment, and each circumstance, or we just end up skating on the surface. Which is rather boring.

@saintejeannedarc9460 Год назад

We're not looking for the perfect partner. We know we aren't perfect, so we don't expect it either. We look for enough common interests and values, and then it's companionship and a lot to work out to live comfortably and as harmoniously as we can.

@Mkr7942 Год назад

I found this video very interesting. Here are my answers, in no particular order. Often while consuming content on narcissism, I come across traits that I too have, one or two of them. A bit of narcissism is necessary for survival. Only super empaths who give their lives for other people can be claim to be free of. But I know that I am not because I veer the empaths way. I can't bear to hear the news: I feel it too keenly. Sometimes, seeing or experiencing acts of kindness can make me cry. ( But many vunerable narcissists can also feel empathy for distant people or things. Listening to you also made me feel sad for you, because of in your relentless pursuit of perfection, whether at work or relationships, means that you never feel at rest, at home, within yourself. How endlessly exhausting it must be! When younger, even I couldn't understand why someone would forgo a promotion. Now I can. Btw, when did you first realise that you are a narcissist and what inspired you to try and change some of those aspects?😊

@jasminabourgeois7434 10 месяцев назад

2) because one is already exceptional. No need to prove anything 🤷🏼‍♀️..and one is not like the other while at the same time one is: puzzle pieces all matter and are the same but different at the same time. Advancement is a mental construct created by unhealthy systems. There is a difference between advancement as a way to make oneself feel good enough vs innate desire for mastery which does not start w lack. If one does not have emptiness inside, one does not need to fill it up with statuses, possessions etc. One is already bursting w fullness/wholeness. The issue with emptiness is that it comes from wounding, but it is not healed by neverending unsuccessful attempts to make oneself worthy enough because the premise itself is wrong and self-perpetuating. You cant expect the flower to blossom while there is a hole in the vase. Fix the vase first. Otherwise no amount of water in the world will be enough.

@MultiSenhor Год назад

Tears of awe rather than joy, perhaps. There are things one can't know until you feel it. I grew up asexual and didn't get what the fuzz about sex was or how sexual attraction felt like until I felt it.

@smartie23899 4 месяца назад

Hi there, Weedings - sometimes emotions can take over, and in weedings, if it is someone special for us, we just get emotional. Sometimes, it's also because we wish that for ourselves or we recall previous important moments with that person. Average - i just focus on my life. Of course, i would like to be at the top, but Things are equal - i believe we are all the same, and some have more money and intelligence than me. Idc - We do, but smths if i am right and i know i am I'll just leave it there. I have bpd so i can disassociate a lot. It helps tbh. Faking- i believe that we all fake when we are outside to be accepted. But most dgaf and just work and live their lifes. Couples - i also ask this something, i think we all do at some point, we just normally don't care. Fear of abandoned - BPD it sends me into a crisis. I don't think everybody feels how bpd and nps feels. We feel it way harder. Thanks for your videos

@blove2023 Год назад

Be sure that everyone is not a narcissist. That's why we run.

@brandyschroeder4759 Год назад

I'm not always confident everyone is unsure sometimes and unless they actually gain a lot of experience then they're not going to be completely sure People gain confidence through experience and knowledge

@leescuderi8331 Год назад

Interesting point about empathy. I think people have differet levels that they can feel and may also feel differently if a situation is similar to something they have been through. I can see a video of a starving child on television and feel bad for them but im not going to actually feel that sadness inside like I would if it were someone going through something that I have been through personally. Some people are highly empathic and can feel everything but most normals feel empathy more deeply when its something we can relate to.

@saintejeannedarc9460 Год назад

Men largely don't feel it as much as women. Psychologists say it has to do w/ bearing children and being primary caregivers, at least the first few years. It's not all men, or all women, but the scales are well tipped.