Oftentimes we go in relationships asking, how can I change my boyfriend? Or how can I change my girlfriend? You can’t change anyone. He or she has to want to change for him or herself.
Ppl who think they can change someone else should try and change one of their own favorite habits for a week ... Now if it’s that hard to change your own habits understand you’re NOT changing anything about another person!
15:30 exactly you can't change a person. I cut off a guy after 1 phone conversation because he smoked weed everyday & I don't smoke. I bowed out quickly.
If a person will not change for God then they will not change for anyone. It is best to find people that are filled with God's Holy Spirit so they will respect any relationship because they respect God first and foremost.
Your dad is so right. I have so much resentment towards my child’s father because I feel like him trying to change me made me feel like I wasn’t good enough and I always told him if I’m not what you are looking for move on and he always had a way with words that made me stay. Now we are not together and I see the woman he is with now and it makes me angry because I feel like he wasted my time. Now we share a child and I have no choice but to see him live his life and give this woman what he never gave me and it hurts. I’m also mad at myself that I allowed this to happen.
We need to have pure motives. When motive is wrong for becoming involved with someone it will ALWAYS backfire; whether it's a guy lusting at the stripper and gets involved due to fantasy about how the relationship will be (not realizing how jealous he will become) or whether it is the woman who goes for a man who is not meeting her standards otherwise, but he is rich. Likely, it will be a very hard and painful lesson.
Unfortunately desire to change isn’t enough. You need desire + action. Without consistent effort, the desire to grow and change is just an empty intention. And even though someone can inspire someone else to change, it won’t be a lasting change unless they want it for themself.
Character=currency this new aspect of how to treat people has really helped me thanks so much I'm really using this teaching and applying it. That's why I'm single & peace of mind is the blessing.
Thank you for clarifying this because in your "He doesn't want you" video you said that men change for "The One" and people made comments, including me, that that is not true. Men change when THEY are ready to change from within themselves. True change is not inspired externally, it's inspired internally with self- reflection and people around you who are motivating. But it starts within.
Your other video I watched was extremely effective. You taught me how to train my man to do right and now he’s been spoiling me (financially, especially) ever before and treating me with more love and respect. Keep doing what ur doing Pastor Tony ❤️❤️❤️❤️
You are absolutely on track with character being true currency! In a contract it’s called “consideration “. Character is the only consideration that is worthy of your time and attention! Speak life into the situation and if they’re not for you, move on!
"A thong and oiled down on Instagram" HOLLERING! 😩😩😩😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 But you right Brother Gaskins, Amos 3:3 "Can two walk together, except they agree"
What if he's changed to being abusive? I left him finally because I didn't see a positive change. And maybe I was just a business transaction to him...he used me for money in addition to being abusive
There are some great channels on RU-vid ~ you and yours is one of the ABSOLUTE BEST , Tony! Keep doing what you do, Tony. And thank you to your beautiful wife, your partner in life, for being who she is, with the character, morals, values and boundaries she has.
Yes lol. But my thing with them is Kim's image is her money maker. And for the longest time, Ye encouraged it. Now that he's on a spiritual journey and trying to get himself grounded once again, he wants her to change as well. It doesn't work like that. Kim can only be a wife to the old Ye because that was his mentality and lifestyle. Everyone can't always go where God is taking us. It sucks though because they have 4 children.
You're so right; it's progress (in your trajectory) not perfection, because we are imperfect humans and "perfection" is relative. The important thing is to find someone who has your interests and trajectory so you can be each others comfort and grow together in love.
Yes i agree i learned and grow and understand that you can't change nobody but yourselves. Its ok to give some one positive advice and help them if they really want it. but its up to that person to change and help themselves. Again you cant change and help no one that really dont want to change or want help So respect they decision. When they show you who they are believe them. If they not for you move on. I am focusing and working and changes myself only. I learned my lesson that's God decision to change that person. Everyone Dont change don't control and dont settle for less from no one. Everyone love and Focus on changing yourselves to be a better you for yourselves be happy with yourselves. God bless everyone love and peace. Thank you God and tony for this message.👏👏👏👍👍👍🙏🙏🙏☺☺☺
Takes time to really know what a person is about.I became aware that I imagined the guy I knew being different then he was in reality.Taking the rose colored glasses off.Saving myself from heartbreak,lesson learned👌 Yes accepting a person the way they are saved us from getting frustrated.After all they have to do the same in return
When ppl try to change others it’s because they don’t like something in themselves and can’t accept that. He said a mouthful. He said he was a heathen but had high expectations for a woman. That means instead of trying to change her, he should’ve been working on changing himself. You attract what you are. If you’re a heathen you’re gonna be attracted to what you are🤷🏽♀️. It’s never about your partner when you’re unhappy. It’s about you.
I never go after money. I can get anything I want myself. I look at a man's heart. Everything else is just noise. And yes you can only change yourself. That's already super hard.
Not true. My spouse and I have love for one another but our lifestyle choices are so different we can't be together anymore because if I follow along with how he wants to live, everyrhing falls a part and disaster comes over and over. Been living hid lifestyle in order to be loyal to him for 20yrs and I finally said no more.
I don't agree telling a person to stay and pray in a marriage that they're unhappy in, that is not God's will, if you made a mistake, or didn't know God then, he will forgive you to start over. Especially if that person is toxic and or not willing to change.
@Robin D. I didn't get married for the wrong reason. I loved and still love him. He loves me. But when it comes to truly being IN love ,and having the same life goals....nope. I spent 20yrs trying to change him so my kids would have a better life and I tried belong him by working outside he homr. The kids suffered and didnt get the mom I alwya wantee to be . I must leave him now if I'm going to ever be the mom I want to be for my kids,at eat as a single mom I can focus so on them and my income is helping myself and them and not helping him by allowing him to continue to be irresponsible and me we budget his own income and kep us in poverty despite him habing a decent job. He is choosing to I've above his men's at ur expense and I'm not allowing that so I,must leave.
A woman will be a man’s biggest downfall or biggest influencer. Ladies don’t react on impulse to that statement. Before a man steps into a union with a woman, he’s already doing bad by himself or he’s on a developing and growing journey. You can change a man that is already in a transitioning state of mind. Hell the progress will come even sooner if you’re on a higher level than him and an encourager. A man that’s not on his purpose, will become complacent through the attachment and that is a man that will not change. That’s why it’s best to deal with man that are level headed and got something going for themselves
Amazing, My thoughts were Definitely here and I truly needed to here this confirmation.... Gratitude ✨🙏✨ To The Almighty within me... and Gratitude Tony for making this video.....🥰 Blessins to you and your family.🙏
Jenn Johnson It has always been business/ status / marriage to build a legacy. Love should not be a reason for marriage / chemicals come & go too fickle without an ounce of foundation.
Tony, could you please explain or point me to one of your videos on why it's so important for a man (and also you) to have to do the work before you can truly appreciate a woman and your relationship? Obviously as humans we do what we have to in order to get what we want, but surely this is not the only reason why we are willing to do so much and be so dedicated? Because like you said there are men who do the "work" for years, and then they fall off. What truly made you continue to bust ass when in the beginning you've admitted you were a grown boy?
Looking through different lenses...WOW! That's profound insight.!!!!!! Not looking for ANY fantasy...only the reality through the lens of truth. That statement caused me to have an EPIPHANY. Thanks♡ #characteriseverything
I really like this one. Thank you for making this video. ❤️👍 this is exactly what I needed to hear. Wow. And today I actually prayed before I turned on my you tube. 🙏🏼
Sorry Tony, I have to disagree with you on this one -staying with someone who is not at the same level as you. If that individual doesnt wanna change, and you tried to get them to do better for themselves, married or not, they should leave. It isn't their burden to get their partner to change, they have to see the problem, acknowledge its a problem, and then make the changes. Most people are not ready to live in their truth, and that's all the cue one needs to walk away. If he/she doesn't wanna change, you can't make them. Go live your best life.
I agree a unhappy marriage makes unhappy kids. Adult's think there kids don't see it but they do. Unhappy couples that are married have a way of showing there not happy. I have two friends that got married for all the wrong reasons and it shows. One couple got married because all the right things were said but fast forward now they have kids and they don't show any affection and our in a loveless marriage and the other couple divorced after 8 months of marriage. Me and other friends seen the trainwreck coming a mile away. I think if people are really not happy in there marriage they need to move on and co-parent for the kids sake. Thats why marriage is not something you can play around with because who you are at 25 is not who you will be at 45. Life is too short to be unhappy and not at peace or too short to live in a unhappy marriage.
Can you do a post about body image and your mates thoughts of your body image effecting your relationship like is the real problem in the woman or in the man making her feel less then or both
@@earthangel6858 I assume. When he divorced his first wife, he came up with a "soul mate" doctrine that gave him the ok in his mind to leave her. Smh. God will have the final say in the whole matter.
I appreciate your work. I would like to book you for my partner of 10 years. I just pray that he would give it a chance. Everything your saying is hitting but I feel like the fact that you coach this can be helpful. Thanks.
I just want to clarify ~ do you think your wife should have left you 2 months into your marriage? If no, how do you think your life and the life of your family would have turned out?
What if you were bait and switched? And you tried your best to work on yourself, because you thought you were the problem with high goals. Only to realize the other had issues that were hidden.
Tony, how much change is enough change? Cuz I see change and character, and effort and as far as I know loyalty, but he's still controlling and not consistently as patient as I am with him. I am too patient emotionally...
If you did't know any better in the past and noe, knoe better but the spouse refuses to grow to the point its a huge interference in properly caring for the children and oneself... it's timevto bail. I put 20yrs of trying to change him and get him to grow without success, so it is time to let go. I know divorcing will encouraging him to do better but he's bot going to change while Im still with him. I finally realized I have to let him goto allow him to grow and do better. And I'm okay being alone nd not remarryinf if I dont find someone else. Be ause the most important thing is putting my kids first now, since his priorities to care forvthe to the fullest (As well as my own needs) is not the same as mine. I'll have to go live on my own and make my own way ,going forward. And habe the title of being single again.
Hell F*** all that money ain't everything to me. I'm married now, but if he couldn't accept me being a simple plan woman that wears absolutely no wigs, makeup or flying ass eye lashes WELL HE COULD HAVE KICKED ROCKS. I'M NATURAL FRUGAL AND LOVING MYSELF EVEN IF NO ONE ELSE DID🐘 #LOVEYOURSELF #BEAUTYISNATURAL
Narcissists cannot change who he or she is genetic...brain abnormality...environment grew up in...attachment issues...untreated mental illness and childhood trauma and both parents narcissistic...see mother not working and father control mother grew up and want to do the same thing with people...go find a woman who is codependent like you...
