How to Deal With REGRET Through Meditation 

"Leave your front door open and your back door open, let thoughts come and go, just don't offer them tea." - Shunryu Suzuki

Love the “Like a kid trying to get your attention” metaphor … so accurate!

I regret wasting my life because of depression and dysfunction instead of helping my family. It's not even about me honestly. I am sad because I could have been a major help to them instead of a major source of worry. This is indeed what keeps my depression going and I know that. But ...

Brad, the whole part on regret being very effective at getting the mind's attention during zazen, when we're not inputting new things into the brain or indulging mental habits...is valuable insight. I hadn't heard anyone describe it like that before, and i had a new flash of understanding regarding what it means to rest deeper than habit. Thank you. 🙏🏼

I need to get into this online sangha. It's been said when the student is ready the teacher will come. I have SO many questions, I've been consuming these videos like a crack addict, and appreciate all you're doing!

Isn't the past the source of all sorrow and unhappiness. It is for me. All that mindfulness does is loosen the grip of these intrusive thoughts by anchoring the mind on the miracle of being. But those regrets, man, they overpower even the miracle of being most of the time!

Well, son, a funny thing about regret is. That it's better to regret something you have done. Than to regret something you haven't done.

This world needs more Ziggy and fewer phones.

This is all very good advice, Brad. Thank you! I've been following your videos for a long time, but, for what it's worth, I never ever get tired of this sort of encouragement. I bought the book, as well. I love books about Buddhist ethics, so I especially appreciated your perspective.

Actually this talk has really uplifted my mood as I woke up with some glum thoughts today, listened to the talk and it helped me remember not to fall into following those glum thoughts. Reading all the comments was uplifting too plus seeing the stunning wild garden behind you Brad and hearing those Californian birds! I think for me ‘thoughts are just thoughts, is also the most valuable lesson I have learned in the zen practice. I like the way you liken it to your nephew as a child. That makes so much sense. 🙏🏽😊

Regrets: What we have and Ziggy doesn't.

Great book. Amazing content. As for this video, I really like the bit about stopping a habit when you find yourself doing it, until you can just not do it.

Totally off the subject: I love the tangly wild flowers behind you! Pure joy!!!

Timeless advice. Maybe the most important point in all of Zen.

For what it's worth, I bought The Other Side Of Nothing, hot off the presses and love it. Also, since you recently mentioned you get a larger cut off Audible, I just purchased the audio book as well. I was on a Waking Up sub reddit the other day and someone asked for book recommendations, and The Other Side was mentioned. You have at least two fans!

NO REGERTS! ;}P> Except Suzy; you should deffo apologize to Suzy.

Like you said, this is common. It came up very recently due to my ongoing divorce. What was best, I let the thoughts come through one gate and leave through another. Yes, emotions occurred. In a different light, I saw them as associated symptoms of thoughts. One thing popped into my mind is that this practice sharpens over time but these thoughts still occur, but they have decreased affect (vs effect) over time. They eventually float away more quickly and efficiently. Zazen! Viva Ziggy!

Accountability is an important subject in the context of a job. I think the difference with Buds is we dont't exagerate passing mistakes into personal judgement and given our apprecriation of change are ablie to put it into context how we may be part responsible and how others maybe part responsible too. Because we don't exagerate into an imaginary personal judgement and we don't think we are defined by our mistakes we are able admit our passing mistakes and take corrective or redemptive action. However, if managers make false allegations or false characterisations we should never back down and apologise because that only enables gaslighting behaviour and furthurs dishonesty and corruption.. Never apologise for being honest. Guilt is often the tool of the manipulator.

Very helpful to remember that thought are just thoughts. Someone said the mind secretes thoughts like the liver secretes bile and I found that helpful and a Monk in our sanga recently said to me that our thoughts are no more real than dreams and I find that so helpful when those regret thoughts start to pop up during sitting, as they often do. They are very compelling and I think your talk really hits the nail on the head, Brad and you explain it so well. Dreams can seem so real me convincing when we are in them and thoughts are no different. I have to say, I think Your book the Other Side of Nothing is excellent and Should be a Best seller. I suspect it will be one day. 👍😊🙏🏽

Bought it -- been slowly digesting it for months... good stuff

I like to say it’s just language. And my body is just evolution. Not I not mine

Solid video, Brad. I was wondering if you might expand on this and do a video on ignoring thought versus repressing thought? I feel like that’s a pretty common hurdle for people. On another note, The Other Side of Nothing was fantastic and I’m feeling like I should read it again.

You spoke the truth!

Good video. I always appreciate it when you specifically address the act of meditation.

Very helpful, thanks! I love The Other Side of Nothing! I will be reading it again for sure.

WoW comme d'habitude is an entirely different kettle of fish dinosaurs. Gotta say it raises Anka version up a notch. Still nothing beats summer wind (it's a long stupid story).

thank you for being my RU-vid guru Brad ;) love you brother

Claude François was the artist that first produced the original French song "Comme d'habitude" ("As usual" in French) in 1967 - A french mega pop star who was electrocuted in his bath aged 39.

Sorry. I bought The Other Side of Nothing. It's a shame it's not selling well because I agree that it's really good.

Great! Video. Excellent Book!!

This was a great video, really enjoyed the topic. Thank you Brad

What happens here in my most clear days is that instead of my story, my attention is locked on the fact that we are inside this huge 3D screen that is here for absolutely no reason! Like who put this TV here? 😂 There is something rather than nothing, and yet, no one seems to be excited about it or even notice it! This huge TV! And yet, when I lose that clarity again, I have to work my way back to it somehow, which has frustrated me for the past three years and rendered me at least semi-dysfunctional. So for my brain, the noticing of the fact that there is something rather than nothing has been the most effective reminder. Much better than any Zen Koan or advaita self-inquiry of "what am I" or "Stay in the sense of I am". Just noticing the only and most obvious fact that there is this vast screen of experience instead of absolute nothingness.

I'm two thirds thru this video and already thinking it is one of the best ones I've seen though.. very nicely done. if you could just repeat this point on a daily basis somehow that would be great lol

Im currently reading The Other side of nothing! I love it. Id like to get your other books too, is it better if i buy them directly from a website directly associated with you? I usually order books in at my local book shop, but i know they just use amazon usually.

WOW i need this video!!!

I wanna talk about fish dinosaurs!

Thanks! Great advice as always.

I say your mind is a sponge, if you let it soak in the dirty water, you will create streaks all over your tile and your work wont be clean. You have to ring out the sponge of the dirty water, and let it keep that small amount of moisture that matters during practice. Like a tile man grouting tiles. Thoughts are just farts of emotions, if you learn to manage emotions unwanted thoughts will cease. You have to let go of judgement, and allow your mud to settle. Then your mind will be sharper during problem solving life's challenges

I think those regrets or other thoughts that have some content grabbing your attention need to be processed. Just not in zazen. Zazen is where I notice thoughts. Once noticed, oh, back to sitting. Sometimes this happens a lot. The bell will ring and I am still noticing and returning to sitting. But that's zazen. Sometimes it happens less, this also is zazen. Processing thoughts, emotions outside of sitting is an important part of it.

The other side of nothing is a great book!

Go and buy the book! I have it, it's quite good.

IMO: the other side of nothing is your best book in terms of structure and content but it's just not as juicy as your other books if you know what I mean, maybe that's why the royalties are low 🤷‍♂

the 'thoughts' are not real thoughts - they are like floaters in the eyes - the 'casts' of long-dead thoughts - the cosmos (God) is observing you as you flounder - which is a comfort (is that feeling a thought?)

The Buddha taught his disciples to now the causes of every phenomena and to eliminate ignorance, because it is the worst of all. Brad tells us to ignore and not bother about any causes of stress. What kind of a, Buddhist is he? 😮