He is damn right. I fought with my parents, tried to change them, please them, every time I ended feeling worse. If there's little bit of goodness in them , they will never treat their children badly. They are toxic, so stay away from them
Me too and however the l try to avoid them they'll be there and compare me with the millionaire and a perfect kid that doesn't exist and they even try to force me to do things l don't want to and it'll always happens almost every single day.
My mother in all terms. I sometimes wonder why can't I have a mother who just understands me and laughs with me ?why cant I have normal conversation with her, without having the fear of getting judged. I miss having a mother as the world say mothers are.
When i see all these comments I realise there’s a lot of us who are facing this issue and i think there’s no way you can change them what’s best is find a good opportunity for yourself and get out of the house
My father is so pathetic, he shows off how supportive he is, but he uses so many hurtful words , to make me feel down. He thinks himself as Google, and everything and everyone are wrong. He doesn't support and care for me. He forced me to pursue something else instead of following my dreams. Because of him I have been facing PTSD since last 5 years. I did all the mistakes that you said because I was so stupid to believe him. I hate him most in the whole world.
I ran away 2 years ago and it was the best decision I could have done. Feeling now better than ever and I don‘t have to feel guilty for things I like and do :)
Good on you. May god help you. I also ran away but got back due to some other stranger pleadings, with the involvement of outsiders, the abuse got lowered
Omg tell me how you did it? I can’t leave because of my sisters, cats, money, it’s all a mess. But I’ve been thinking of just getting on a greyhound bus and start somewhere. I’m so scared but I really hate it here
@@abhishek_Gaming5056How to deal then? Indian culture is very bad. And people defend it and hate western culture as if its the worst. Only people like us can relate.
Told my mum she’s hurt me a lot. Thought it would help if I let her know. I got yelled at and called ungrateful and given the silent treatment until I apologised
i totally resonate with this. i feel like im never gonna be able to communicate with my mom properly. i also get yelled at and get called ungrateful and it hurts. im always the one that's to blame and its honestly really frustrating and it always tears me down~ but this is to say that ur not alone and its hard but im here if you ever want to talk
very relatable.. I used to be close to my mother until the age of 11 when I may or may not have made a rift in our relationship. ever since then it has gotten worse. I'm glad I have my father though. My mom yelled at me today and said she didn't care about my feelings and that she would make my life hell... she also said I have no reason to be miserable, sad, or have such thoughts... She already makes my life miserable, I have so much anxiety when I'm around her I hide myself in my room. I don't hate her but don't exactly love her, there isn't a word to don't how I feel about her.only 3 more years until I'm finally free.
@@abbyb764This is like my mother but instead since I don't talk to her about my feelings much. She dismisses it like I never said anything in my whole entire life. :/
My way is get away from them. That's what I did. If you can't get away and go live somewhere else, then lower your expectations of them and don't tell em shit.
What hits you hard is when you finally realize how your parents have been. When you finally realize they have been toxic towards you all your life. Even if its in a subtle way. Its hard to want to believe your parents would be this way
@@mml3888 its still something thats hard to overcome because our inner child just wants their approval. I know thats my case. Ive basically felt invisible most of my life. I felt unimportant or just there to help others. Ive been made to think I’m not good enough from basically when I was in 1st grade. Sadly I made a lot of life choices based on how I can make my parents proud of me. I wasn’t living for myself. My parents have their own issues that they never dealt with and I was the middle child. Sadly it hasn’t been just my parents that have been toxic towards me. I have had cousins and uncles as well. Hell even one of my brothers. Its been really hard to come to grips with. Looking back at my life and childhood. I was really saddened by it and borderline depressed. Realizing that my whole life ive never really had one person that really had my back or want whats best for me. Or even cheers me on. Ive never had it. But I realized that all this has turned me into this person that i am today. I love who I am. It was meant for me. It didn’t happen to me it got to happen. I know what true love really is because my whole life I have never seen it or had it.
The only thing that you can do, is to heal yourself, love yourself and support yourself, be independent so you can grow, and be that good parent yourself.
Think of it this way, only 4 more years until you’re 18 and you are an adult. In the meantime if you are finding ways to stay away maybe try to join an after school club or sport or read books to keep your mind off of things going on at home and tutoring is another way to be able to stay away from home.(if your school allows it) in the meantime just know there are others out there going through the same and you are destined for greatness in the future. You’ve got it and keep going even when it’s hard.
He speaks the truth. I've ALWAS failed to accept that I have an unpleasable parent. Truly negative humans will see their world through their own negative eyes & negative viewpoints. Can't change this. Time to limit exposure & reinforce boundaries.
It happened to me and lots others, you're not alone. But try to study hard and then get job as early as possible. Then with one click, BOOM you're outta that fcking parents
Being an elder this is what happens v me even after pleasing and trying to keep my parents happy.. Im just waiting for me to be financial independent and leave the home 😢
Forget it. It's not for us now. All the glorification, the world does about mom's, it does not apply to us. There're other better role models out there. As he said, don't try to change her. She will never change. My brother is 28 years old single. Our mom uses up almost 90% of his salary. He doesn't even have savings to buy a vehicle for him or for his marriage or well-being. Everyday we only have dinner nothing else. Dinner's at 10PM everyday and it's only rice everyday.
I hate my dad, he is so narcissistic self absorbed and so toxic, it's absolute hell living with a father especially who has been toxic to their daughters. Truly evil and disgusting
Thank youu so much U have no idea how badly I needed this .. All I have ever done in my life is love my parents but in return I got curses, hate , discouragement nothing else ...I am only 15 right now and I am dealing with really bad stress ...Well today I promised myself that I will never be like my parents NEVER !!!!!! If ever god blesses me with a child ,I will raise that child giving all my love , care and I will do anything for that child ....😞😞😞😞 I WILL NEVER GIVE THAT CHILD A PAINFUL CHILDHOOD LIKE I AM HAVING RIGHT NOW .. MY PARENTS DIDNT CARE ABOUT MY STRESS, THEY DIDNT CARE ABOUT ME WHEN I WAS IN DEPRESSION , THEY NEVER MOTIVATED ME FOR MY DEAMS ...BUT I DONT CARE ABOUT THEM ANYMORE ,I LOVE MYSELF HOWEVER I AM , WHATEVER I WILL BE IN FUTURE
Same here im alws dreaming for a girl child ....i wil treat her like i alws wanted to be ...i .will give her full freedom to choose her carrer,,,and will alws support her like guide
Idk why after knowing also it's useless to try to change them I try to change them thinking they are my parents they can understand my feelings. In result I only receive tears.
I have a living environment that is not good for me. I'm just praying to god that one day, i'll free myself from my parents. As i work for independence, may god bless my days with patience until that day comes. For those who are going to the same as me, i wish all the best. We're not alone. We have each other. Let's work hard 💪🏽 ya'll
I'm currently going through this, an extremely narcissistic father who never respects me, always putting me down, he thinks giving me food and shelter is a luxury which I'm getting (I wasn't born out of thin air and other parents don't give their children hay straw to eat), he always belittles me, never satisfied with anything I do, doesn't accept his mistakes and if I talk back he threatens me with physical violence and to remove me from the house.
this is so similar to what i'm going through too... i hate feeling trapped living with toxic parents because my mom says hurtful things to be all the time and never remembers the things she says or the impact it has. she constantly tells me that im ungrateful because she provides me with a roof and food and i never feel like im good enough and if i ever talk back she screams at me to leave the house and that everything is my fault
Damn I needed this, my parents always break promises and lie, they think it’s funny when I cry, they laugh at me for things I feel confident in, they embarrass me infront of friends and only when friends are over, I don’t feel comfortable with them or telling them anything cuz they say “no, your favorite color is pink and will always be pink” WHEN PINK IS MY LEAST FAVORITE 😭😭😭
Bro my mom be getting mad for such small things like bro she asked me to help her find her charger I couldn’t find it and she called me stupid retarded and no good over a charger like come on and she try’s to act tough by making me look bad in-front of her friends or she smacks me cussed me out for a laugh out of her friends
Then assert them, make it not worth their while to step on your boundaries, give them a reason not to, if you don't give in and maintain your reactions they'll leave you alone eventually
the way my parents changed drastically the day i got married will be the mystery of this lifetime for me, home doesn't feel like home anymore, moving out seems to be the best option now for all our sakes
"Have an exit plan" way ahead of you lol iv two tents and a sleeping bag on the ready..so close to just booking it out of here..my whole family is toxic
they make me see no reasons to live,always make me feel like the bad one in every situation,they always treat me like am still a child and shouldn't have an opinion of my own or mind of my own,they always tell me am ungrateful.Worst of all mom uses all my secrets against me and they love misinterpreting every situation in my life,l always feel useless and unwanted.l get insulted always with the things they offer me,l feel like a big bounding to them.l pray God blesses me some day and take away this heavy pain in my heart
I block my mom to avoid all the hurtful messages and she reaching out to my husband insulting us now . He now blocks her too. It’s so sad, we never reply to her toxic messages. It angers her more
@@shilpa577 Currently in the same situation, except there is a shortage of jobs in my location. I have been struggling financially and can’t afford to escape. It’s so stressful!
@@reyr.7439 Even if there's shortage of jobs. You can very easily find at least a low-paying job which will cover your living and food expenses. That's what I will be doing right after my undergrad which will end in 10 days. I will move far away from my hometown.
@shilpa577 fight for your freedom, please don't give up, Pray and ask God for strenght to face your mom and to overcome her toxicity and build a better life for yourself. There's always hope even a small window of Hope, just believe and you see the way out. ❤
That's right! Several years ago when I was like 18 - 22 my parents could not believe that I was a young adult and I was growing up. So every time I would try to change them it would come back at me 10 times harder. So, what I did is not give a shit.
@@BEAST_69 It sounds easy. But it's not impossible. I am 22. I wanted to move out and do job after highschool but my single mother insisted so hardly on me to complete a four year college degree. I had no other sensible adult to guide me through it. I got admission in a better college which was far from my home but mom said I cannot take your expenses. So you will only study in here local college. You see the trap?
@@kunal2464exactly the same thing my mum is doing to me. I plan to leave though. Infact, I will leave then I’ll send her a long nasty message then block her and travel to another state
@@kunal2464same here I always thought to ran away from my home and stay in hostel but due to high hostel fees I am studying here in local clg and my degree is of 4.5 yrs I don't have any options rather to stay here I am 21
This made me cry BECAUSE I know it's true but the thought of other people feeling like I do hurts. That said this man seems pretty healthy and that gives me hope. I'm so so hopeless rn. Life looks so bleek and bland and nothing brings me joy everyone I have ever loved has hurt me.
Yes dear , same situation here. Husband , in laws and my own parents everyone is taking turns to abuse and hurt me. No wonder I'm this sick and housebound. My life is hopeless and bleek too. Never ever felt this depressed in life.
Thanks Sir I'm having immense pressure and mental breakdowns because of my mother. I often think she treats me like a product and not a human. It's a long time for the exit plan but once I exit I will never be har son
My mother gave a hellish life to a point of breaking me physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Poisoned me multiple of times, agitated and manipulated my emotions that leads me to become bedridden for years. I truly need your prayers right now.
You are correct...I wanna move out when I grow up...also I'm the only child.. there's no one to look after them..I feel bad but at the same time I wanna heal..I don't know what to do
And five don't wait that they will apologize in front of you. They don't kill themselves guilty they think that you are guilty and they will never say sorry.
I wish i could do this...m girl frm india....i cant run away... u knw girls aint safe in this cruel world....i too want to walk away in another room she chases me there also..she keep fighying arguing telling me harsh words she makes me cry for 2 3 hrs eveyday...
@@shilpa577 try to secretly get help from other close relatives. Don't run away in India, it's full of bad people. But better let your local leader or politician know your problem, they may send some family official to deal with your parents
My father relates to everything in this list. No. 9 and maybe 10 sums one such example, there were two slices of cake in the fridge ( I brought one cake for myself from starbucks and the other cake was a free cake from a hotpot restaurant that we ate at for my father's birthday ), my father ate my starbucks cake. When I told my father that he ate my cake, instead of just saying sorry, he proceeds to lecture me and gulit rid me by saying things like "I have to stop it with that mentality" and "I paid for the food, the rent etc." I know its just cake and I know this doesn't compare to the stories shared in this section but small things like this really frustrate me.
The worst damn thing in the world is having a parents who don't even understand you.. And make you feel like you're not even enough if you done anything
12 years old had to admit to myself that my "Mother" didn't love me and that she was exactly like my narcissistic grandfather and that I would never have a loving mother or normal childhood and that wasn't my fault. I live everyday trying to not become like her or to become a victim to someone like her again.
So so true...i want to share something because it just feels overwhelming. My parents recently in about 6 to 7 months...always fight. Every day they will say something provoking to each other.. and also insult them in bad way...i as a child alone can't bear it anymore...i started reading wattpad because it was the only escape and it almost became a habit. I don't know what to do, what ever i do is less...these days, i get angry, sad so frequently...as an average student when i think i did much better then earlier, i get happy but my parents one sentence "so you made mistakes" and the face expression make me scared and sad at the same time...i feel like if i do one thing wrong then also they will be unhappy.... No peace and no one with whom i could share... Even my choices are changing...i no longer read fun books or anything but i don't know what is the condition of my hurt but i like to read abuse stories....because it makes me feel connected...
Escape from your comfort zone. You need to convince yourself that you have the necessary skills to do or accomplish something. This makes you motivated to look for opportunities to grow and exit toxic parents. Learn new skills and find a job.
I've recently realized how much my mother is toxic, I love her to bits. She raised by herself while my father was in jail and our bond was very strong. I was always a Mama's boy and people pleaser which I believe has lead me to all the issues I have now. I've stood up to her and tried to set my boundaries but I see she recents me for it now. My little sister is disrespectful towards me yet she sees no problem with that. I am going to work hard to get my life back together so that I can finally be free from her.
I oftenly overshared things that I'm experiencing to them, and as I'd expect they will use it as a backfire if i did some atomic mistake, When they do that I'm always so afraid for what the result of my plan might ended up, because in my religion parent will and pray is a very strong spell, I'm afraid that my plan will fail miserably, but I always remember some internet stranger have said to me it sounds like "The god is at an absolute higher position than your parent, so if you so sure about what you're up to, just give it all to god" and ever since then I almost never have any problem with my plan, even after I got some beef with my parent. Just rely on god for everything because he's the only one who's fair and in the end your parent is just human.
You're right, and I have a toxic older sister as well. I just wanted them to Always love me. I've been in a vulnerable state since I lost my first and only child, 5mths later I lost my father to covid, 1 month after that, I got injured at my job and lost my career. I was away from home for so long. I thought the loss would bring us together. It was all fake, when I spent my money on them instead of just leaving again. Ive realized my worst two enemies started at home. And I have this anger in me that I actually thought about murdering both of them, and rotting in prison or receiving the death penalty. Sad thing is, those thoughts brought me comfort. This is all wrong, I know and now im in a stuck situation. Yet I know I have to get away from these people and never look back. Its so much more, but hearing you say this is just reassuring me. That, I will never get love from them. And since I've destroyed relationships, im alone. So therapy is needed. Yes I believe in God, I know its because of the creator ive made it this far. Yet its so much you can take, and now I must make moves to distance myself before I do something that will destroy my life, and in the end. They still win😢
I cut my biological father almost a year-and-a-half ago and never look forward to ever contacting him again he took advantage of me and he took advantage of many other people in the family and blackmail me and that's something you don't forget or forgive.
Can’t afford counseling these comments are all I got.. how as a man do you step back from your mother, knowing she needs me, but the relationship Is killing us both
These comments are actually better than counseling. Therapists haven't experienced this first hand . Your situations are really tough. May be support them from a distance or give only monetary help. Whatever take care of boundaries.
My mother is exactly like this she keeps pressuring me sometimes i felt like im the black sheep of the family im no good for her. I don't have the support i needed when im struggling especially when i lost my job. 😢
In my case they used physical violence and emotionally abused me and they gifted me social anxiety My self esteem and self worth is shattered but I'm trying my best to heal myself Hope we all get a new peaceful life
Thanks 🙏 blessings to everyone here I needed this 31 yrs dealing with my mental health my parents are coke addicts and my dad abuses beer also they enjoy treating me bad I’m the black sheep even if I’m disabled from my feet I got myself in college and moving out soon on my own it’s true don’t try to change them it will never work We don’t choose our parents
I have this love hate relationship with my father. Because he has a lot of wisdom and it's always so hard to seek counsil without getting into an argument. It's like he always want to control me when all I'm looking for is advice.
Bro, my parent's always say "Shut-Up" if i'am right at once and if i still talk, then they'll slap me + They want to have right at everything, everytime i try to say something, they either don't listen, say Shut-Up or try to have right at everything, i mean, they think they can say/do what they want with me by insulting. Every small Thing, they say Shut-Up, so that they argue better against me and that's what makes me mostly Angry😡. At the end, after we argued, they start to insult again😡.
Same here they want me to keep my mouth shut and do whtever they say...im 27 they treat me like a puppet orr 2 year kid....they never let me take my own decsion they didnt allow me to do job so dat i could go away frm their house
I was a perfect child until my older siblings left and it was just me left. They really got to focus and put all the pressure on me and that’s when my relationship with them went down hill. I’m in college now and I feel like they don’t care about my dreams/ what makes me happy, they just care about my success
I felt all of us... dealing with toxic parents don't have a platform where we can talk about our experiences and ask for support. I wanted to start a support group for the same. Anyone of you guys interested, please comment ❤️ Hope you have the strength to endure the pain❤️
Mental health is much harder to show up and much more harder to tolerate. Its easier to say my tooth is aching rather than saying my heart is broken. Toxicity in a surrounding we are witnessing daily can really tear up someone 🙃.
The ‘they’ll never change’ hit me right where it hurts. I definitely tried. God knows I did. Because I have never seen such perfectly imperfect two peopl who fell in love. They live in extreme when they’re in a gods mood and fight as in literally curse and punch each other in their slightest bad moods. My brother and I are in our most crucia years in education. My brother who’s 3 years older than me wrote the final paper today (he has one more on Wednesday) and I entered my final two years this January. My brother, whose 20 cried today. My mother cried today. I cried today. I tried to talk with both of them. I really did. I wanted them to understand cuz neither one was right. But they’ll never as you said. I know everyone says to let go leave the room because it’s not your fight. But I can’t. I have to be there for my mother. She only has me to vent. I have to be there for my father. He’s got depression. I have to be there for my brother. He’s got depression as well. I really, really can’t do this. I don’t even know if this makes sense. It’s 12.35 am and I’m still in the couch after their fight. Barely stopped them from punching each other with glass plates. Life honestly sucks
@@itssLaurysame and go no contact with my parents and have nothing to do with them all so that i never see and speak to them again that’s literally what im excited about most when i graduate college and become an adult