"When we are rejected by men we feel our existance is pointless" This 100%. I realised this is one reason I`ve been so fixated on pleasing men. Thankfully now I can change this belief!!
he didn't just reject me, he compared me to other women and told me who he is more attracted to and why lol. So yeah, I think becoming more grounded and selfconfident is very important for me :D
Right there, he shows you the kind of person he is and you deserve so much better. It's massive turn off and nobody wants to be with someone behaved like that.
This video, especially the bits about needing validation from men who you don’t even really like, was made for me. Recently experienced one of the worst heartbreaks ever because of a guy that I didn’t even like at first, but because I could tell he liked me and it felt nice to be wanted I decided to see where that would lead. It led to all of the worst parts of me being thrown back in my face. It was also the best thing to happen to me, because I had to really reevaluate how I viewed myself and how I was valuing myself. I now catch myself whenever I start to wonder how a guy views me or whether or not he likes me and ask myself if I even like him. If I don’t (which is usually the case) then I move the fuck on, because why am I fixating on getting approval from literal strangers? Sorry for the random story, but this latest rejection I had plus my overall healing journey I’ve been on has changed a lot in my life, but I’m really grateful for this experience and your videos. Here’s to loving ourselves ❤️
Hey my love - I really appreciate your honesty and vulnerability. It sounds like you are having some really powerful realisations about how you have been valuing yourself. You really aren't alone in basing your worth on male validation. I made this video because I personally understand what you are going through. Keep doing you my lovely - you are amazing 🥰💗
I think the best part is to tell all girlies that it's okay if you are rejected or get rejected!! That it's not the end of the world. Acceptance is very important, whether it is the other person's answer or the situation if anything it makes us more stronger and resilient!!! Also instead of being grounded and discerned right away, what we should be also telling is it's okay to mull over your feelings or to feel them !!! Both the positive and negative feelings are valid to feel and experience!! And then you can take the higher road with moving on and ahead in your Life! Also might I add it's better if the guy rejects you right away, instead of playing with your feelings or your mind !! Better that than to be stuck in a situation where neither you nor your feelings are appreciated or celebrated or respected!!
This video came at the right time lolol. Here’s a mini story: So there was this guy that I really liked and I used to be obsessed with getting his validation. I was fairly immature when it came to guys and I would put my self worth based on how much they liked or admired me. So when I found out he had a girl I was so shattered lolol( and mind you his girl is GORGEOUS). From that point I decided I had to break this pattern and oh boy it took some time. I’m still struggling with seeking validation now but I can say it has gotten better. Just yesterday I saw him working and I felt all the feelings come back but this time I handled them lolol. Moral of the story: if you have a crush that’s okay! But try not to put your self worth in their hands:) remember you’re a total babe!!!
alessia i really appreciated you mentioning that you’re queer and you still craved male validation because this is exactly what i’m struggling with right now. i’m at a point in my life where i’m currently only feeling attraction for women and yet i still catch myself wanting male validation, it’s so confusing because i know i’m not attracted to men yet i want them to be attracted to me :( i just feel so frustrated! x but thank you for your insight and wisdom 💓💐🌟
Bless you! I appreciate you sharing your truth with me and this community - please know I am here for you. It is difficult navigating your queerness in a heteronormative world. I hope you find more clarity the more you open up and self reflect. Keep doing you my lovely - you are doing amazing 🥰💗 xxx
Watching this with tears in my eyes as I'm taking old pictures of my ex and myself out of frames hanging on my bedroom wall. I'm going to store them in a secret place to keep some happy memories when everything was still ok. Meanwhile, I'll make an effort to heal from all the trauma caused by the break up. Thank you for this, Alessia. I'm truly grateful for your channel and content 💕 I truly wish to learn how to be ok without needing male validation to feel good as a woman. It's such a depressing thought that being attractive to men and being chosen is the only purpose in my life 😢❤ There's still much work to do.... 🌿✨️
Hey lovely - firstly I am sending a big warm hug your way. 🥰💗 I hope taking down the photos feels empowering in some way - it sounds like you are allowing yourself to let go. Good for you my love! I am truly grateful for you vulnerability and honesty. You deserve so much love and goodness in your life. 💗 Sending you so much love xxxx
@@alessiasutherberry Sending even more love and joy back to you 🌿💕🫂 You are such a kind soul and we need more of this energy in this messed up world. Stay healthy and safe my dear🙏
beautiful video! love the way you montage the video! and I also enjoyed the nature sounds that you put as a backtrack during your video ! p. s. your haircut is adorable, you know? ❤
I can’t express how much your channel means to me. I just know we’d make great friends. And in a season of singleness/loneliness I find so much comfort in watching your content. All young women need to see these because there is so much truth and wisdom here! Thank you beautiful soul 💚🙏🏼
Aw thank you for commenting and letting me know! I really appreciate your kind and vulnerable words. I am so glad you are recognising how valuable and special you are. You deserve someone who cherishes you deeply, just as much as you cherish them in return. lots of love lovely 💗💗💗💗
I don't necessarily agree that we can't get into the space of "What can I change?". Sometimes rejection is strong catalyst for growth. As long as we move away from continually seeking validation afterwards. The change(if positive and not toxic) could also to your self confidence
You are so genuine and transparent❤️ I feel heard and understood. It’s nice to feel this connection through RU-vid . I can really learn from this and actually focus on the information you are giving us . Thank you❤
The world needs to watch this video! I can’t wait for the day you get super famous and spread this message and teach people compassion Alessia! More love to you❤
I love your content, it's very healing 💗 I have been thinking a lot about the all "be yourself" thing, I have realised that much of the self if society slash family programming, experiences and so So the self might be the connection the whole, whatever that means for each of us The rest, opinions, beliefs concept they are not the self The self it's s program
If it's difficult for you to get out of this male validation, probably you can start by stopping celebrating and validating women because they are in a relationship and start loving them just because they are happy in their lifes.
Men are emotionally intelligent too. They know clearly when a woman likes them. If they don’t approach you as soon as you show interest, it’s either a no or confusion. We don’t want that ❤
Last week I met a boy in a bar. We started talking and he seemed very nice, even if some things about him made me immediately say "maybe he's not for me", anyway I gave him my number and we spoke for a few days, but his answers became slower and slower... so I decided to point out that it was bothering me, and that maybe it was better for him to stop texting me instead. He hasn't responded to me since then lol. I was disappointed even though I didn't even like him, funny huh?
Hey Alessia, really nice video ! I was wondering if I could help you with Best Quality Editing in your videos better than your Editor with good pricing and also make a highly engaging Thumbnail which will help your videos to reach to a wider audience ? Pls let me know what do you think ?
I was unnecessarily rejected ( I didn't even ask him) yesterday by someone because I'm 2 years older than him and although I wasn't even sure about him or liked him that much It hurts a lot not going to lie ..he went on talking about how beautiful funny and amazing of a girl I am but then said he cant be with me because I'm older😅(this happened more than once to me and not just because of age difference but for multiple reasons and it's starting to trigger me and prevent me from being close to anyone or be vulnerable with anyone) I got angry a little bit but didn't show him.. I just told him to not flirt with me anymore if he doesn't even want me 🙃what do you think I should do ?
Accept the rejection. Accept the hurt and the anger and let it simmer for a bit until you forget about his existence. You have your whole life ahead of you and you need to remember that rejections are redirections towards what or who is better suited for you.
