How To Get Over Resentment 

What was one of your biggest takeaways from this talk?

The root of resentment is disrespect from others.When it is repeated you will feel good by cutting your losses and getting out

Not everybody has trouble communicating or being honest in their relationship. Resentment can exist when you have fully and openly verbalized your every thought and feeling numerous times over.

"Expectations " I expected to be treated like a human as a child.

I believe when someone has wronged you and you resent them,they know they just don't care you are left with the left over anger that usually builds up because the person refuses to acknowledge what they have done to you....

"Don't outsource your happiness to other people". Great advice, thanks.

"Don't expect so much of other people and you won't be disappointed as much," my first husband once said to me. Over 30 years later, I haven't forgotten that. I no longer expect big favors or even small ones from anyone, even my family. I used to resent them for allowing me to be homeless. But now I rely solely on myself and God. Thanks, Julia, for the enlightenment. You rock!

This is helpful in otherwise healthy relationships. When it comes to relationships with abusive people, resentment is a self-preservation mechanism.

By resenting someone.. you're giving them your power. It boils down to a person not doing what you wanted them to. I think a key to releasing resentment is accepting that other people will not always do what you want/expect them to do. People will make mistakes...and that's okay. Communication is key. Thank you for this video. I watched resentment corrode my mother and sisters relationship.

Resentment can be also a sign that is time to walk away -like if a person is always giving you this feeling. I struggle with my resentment towards my mom since she is very absent and most of the time only cares about her problematic boyfriends, it's hard not to feel resentful

Resentment can motivate one to protect oneself and set boundaries. I just listened to a talk by Jordan Peterson. But, we must use it wisely. Every emotion is valid.

I love the analogy of “drinking poison and hoping the other person dies” That is so true...theoretically...I had so much resentment towards my parents for years and one day I just let it go...it is freeing...now I occasionally have resentment towards my husband for not doing things or saying things I expect him to say or do...which is not fair to him...”outsourcing your happiness” to others...man that hit home!

"Oursourcing your need for happiness" that is just spot-on and such a no-no!

Takes a lot to stop hating someone..To anyone who has then i can safely say your doing yourself a service.

Resentment can really sabotage your life.

I’ve been resentful towards my daughters for not showing an interest in my life. They’re both adults and have their own lives. Guess I’ll start focusing on being more interested in my own life.

“I told myself what I needed to hear”. 👍

Holy cow you explained exactly how I was feeling!! Resentment comes from having silent expectations! Now I know what I need to work on.

I’m three minutes in. Are you seriously telling me women at large do not know that I want them to find me attractive and that I want to find them attractive in a mutual exchange. They do know, we all know. I agree, resentment is unmet expectations, and human desire is a core expectation. That is all resentment is here. It’s not drinking poison, it’s not about knowledge and awareness. It’s constant, lifelong negative reactions by the same people that cause you to dislike them.

Lack of self respect and responsibility, to me, are two of the big key drivers to resentment. It's understandably very tempting because it's gratifying in the short term to relinquish politeness/self-respect and responsibility by lashing out to show dominance and demonstrating how malicious you can be if you don't get your way so that no one can dare challenge and "mess with you"... but the problem is that it creates further problems and/or aggrevates the existing problem even more and that can lead to unnecessary disasters - because the more you engage in it (which you will if you just leave it alone and unconsciously), the stronger and worse it gets and can get extremely destructive and abusive and potentially murderous. It's a vicious cycle; a feedback loop that incrementally builds as you habitualise it. So... leaving it unaddressed for long enough and it's highly likely that the harboured bitterness and resentment can manifest itself unconsciously such as direct or indirect revenge on others, and escalating into worse matters such as extreme abuse. To resolve it, you have to address it as soon as possible and that's firstly through painstakingly consulting with your own conscience and, if it helps further, you can discuss it with others such as your partner, friend, family member, therapist, etc. so that, rather than using him/her to think and/or do things for you (which takes your gift of independence away as well as unnecessarily burden the other person with things they're not responsible for - it's a insufferable situation for both of you), he/she can instead help you to think out loud for yourself by listening and reflecting back on your thoughts. To me, the key is reclaim responsibility for your own wellbeing and the complicated processes that come with it, and then go from there and articulate the issue and then find ways to resolve it psychologically and practically. Could be a thoughtfully inspiring self-discussion ripe with potential new opportunities from here on in (learned and accounted from that experience in the past), or doing/creating something that simultaneously makes the matter less worse and offers some optimistic pathway forward that can benefit yourself in many multidimensional ways and, even better as a consequence, also the people around or involved with you too. And it has to be underpinned by the intention to negotiate/self-negotiate towards mutual peace rather than looking to win and dominate, regardless of whether you're right or wrong, etc. Who knows... with many more years of practice, as well as psychological and philosophical excavation and evaluation of past experiences, it's possible that you may end up justifying the underlying deeply rooted issues and address that "hot temper" and the source of it. More often than not, it boils down to the proposition that life is undeniably unfair and full of suffering (because at some point or another, we've all been wronged and endured tragedy to some degree or another which has internally shaped us - and then it's about how to respond to that "shaping")... the question is how the hell we can justify it in a way that can be helpful and useful to us and also more likely to avoid falling into unnecessary pits that you can then see after hindsight and enlightenment from these past known and yet-to-be-known experiences.

I’m excited for this video, I’ve gone through periods of resentment before and I’m never doing it again!! Resentment only torments the person holding the grudge, not the person or people it’s directed towards!! I hope you have a great day! 💜

“It’s ok to give yourself some compliments ” ... thank u.

I come to this incredible little corner of the internet.... I feel Better.

I feel this strongly. I entered the in law family for 5 years and then the co sister in law just pops up after dating my husband's brother for 6 months. I was so excited to be friends with her but she immediately was cold to me. She wouldn't reciprocate any type of communication or connection I tried to make with her. What really began the resentment was how the in laws began to treat her. They treated me very cold and distance from the start, never tried to get to know me, won't put any effort to communicate with me or hang out. I just chalked it up to us not being compatible or they are just defensive and don't know how to act around me or they're not good at talking to new people. But then in walks this new girl and immediately it was like the president had just married in to the family. They text and call her all the time, they go out to eat, they travel hours away to see her when I live 10 mins away, they chat so well with her and actually have conversations with her that aren't superficial. Whenever I'm with them together they just shove down my throat how much more connected they are to the point that I resent this girl soo much. I question what I did to them, what I could've said or maybe I'm just not good enough. I tried mimicking what she does and it didn't make a difference and it made me feel fake and like it really is that they just hate me for no reason. Now I have to sit back and watch them plan for her wedding and dress shop when the in laws couldn't even be bothered to care about my wedding. The mother in law bailed on my bachelorette party that she wanted to plan for me which ended up never happening. She never showed up to my fittings. They left my wedding early. So yeah I'm envious and resentful because what is so special about this sister in law that no matter what she does she's perfect, I have to only hear about her and how amazing she is when I try to hang out with them, she gets everything I've ever asked for which is just love and inclusion. I have no idea how to unpack it because they are people that will not listen to reason and very fixed to their ideas, I can't just ignore them because they emotionally guilt me and my husband for distancing ourselves even thought they don't value us when we're around, and they see no faults in their own actions.

Everything connected to me. This came at the right time for me as well. Working on a 12 step program and already did my 4th step which is writing out all resentments. We're always reminded that expectations are future resentments. On step 9 now which is about making amends to people I have wronged and one of them is someone I have HUGE resentments against and have kept me stuck on this step for months now. I know that most likely they will never recognize or apologize for what they did to me so this video has helped me refocus on having to make amends to what I did to them, not what they did to me.

Yesterday I returned home from a trip that included driving alone with two kids, 5.5 hours each way...I smiled so big when you reminded us to tell ourselves “good job!! That was really hard and you did it!”. Amazing how just hearing you say it helped so much, thank you ❣️

Thanks, Kristina. I was seething toward my husband when I pulled this up, and your video really helped. Honestly, I really appreciated giving myself a verbal affirmation. As a mom, people seldom notice all you pour out, so it’s nice to remind yourself out loud that you’re doing great.

In my case and I just recently realized this, my resentment towards soon to be my ex wife (about to divorce) came from me putting her in a pedestal. It destroyed my marriage. I finally realized that most if not all my bad behaviors(being needy, being upset, being immature, and everything else) came from having so much expectations from her. And none of that is her fault. Because I was the one that put her up that pedestal. I don’t wanna bring my upbringing but I think it’s a big part of it. It’s a dangerous thing to put someone up a pedestal. I wish I realized that way before so I could have changed it and possible change the outcome of my marriage. But I feel like it’s too late now. If anything I’ll walk away from this divorce learning something

Thank you Julia. This was an eye opener for me. I am once again reminded that I am responsible for myself and my needs. Your videos have increased the quality of my life. Thank you for sharing your insights, your personal experiences and your knowledge with us.

Resentment is stimulated by disappointments in our lives. Maybe for every disappointment, we can give ourselves self-love and appreciation for continuing this good fight and being alive. God Bless you 🙏🏿

I love the thought of giving yourself positive reinforcement and kudos for a good job or deed. We can be so hard on ourselves and then we can project that onto others. Your helpful words always come at the right time. Thank you for the welcome and wise insight, Julia!

Hi Julia, I want to thank you for this video. I have been struggling with the most terrible thoughts because of all the resentment I have toward my family, in specific my father. He's my father so my expectations were what a daughter should get from their father. I find myself having the hardest time forgiving and letting go of this anger. I was in a bad place in my mind and I live in my head most of the time. I just came across your video today for the first time. The resentment is a huge burden I carry everywhere and I find myself trying not to feel this way. It is not easy. I am responding over reacting most of the time. I have to watch more of your videos. Many thanks!

I'm new to this page/site, and it has been really helpful. I recently separated after 11 years, and it has been really hard to deal with life challenges and all this stress from the separation, recently diagnosed with a rare disease and loosing my mother and just haven't cooped with all of it and just going a little crazy. Friendships are non-existent and just trying my best to juggle everything. Thank you again for the helpful videos and messages

Just had to give a shout out to you. I work in healthcare and without giving details, I realized that your ‘How to stop being a people pleaser without feeling guilty’ is a video that was shared for learning. That is awesome.

I’m a little late ( 2 years ) to the party, but I’m tired of resentment and my other issues impacting my life/ relationships. This is a big step for me as I never thought I’d need to seek any sort of help to deal with my personal issues. This is just the start of my journey.

Resentment is so toxic and causes so much suffering. Thank you for this beautiful video ♥️♥️♥️

I feel that this speech is mostly applicable to anger, getting angry. When we cannot communicate what we need when we expect too much, then we get angry but resentful to me is very different and reasons are very different. It is a longer-term result of allowing others to disrespect, to disregard, to be unfair to you... and that is suppressed for a long time, when we allow that to happen and continue, one day the devil of resentment wakes up and very difficult to calm it down. Anger still can harm in the short-term due to our fuses being short and keep showing anger for anything even tiny stuff and it can cause damage to the relationships that are mostly good enough but the resentment usually comes up after a long time of allowing ourselves to be some form of abuse, unequal relationship and we know we did not we could not stand up for ourselves and kept allowing that to happen again and again and again with the same person. That is to me the resentment. If that was dealt with early on, after a few first instances by cutting off or confronting the person, it would just be healthy anger, not resentment - resentment brews like a strong bitter cup of tea that makes it a hidden enemy of health and all other neurotic behaviours later in life.

Thank you for this video...I've been feeling very angry and resentful for the past couple of years...and I'm trying to learn to let things go

My favorite part: Taking responsibility for our own expectations and needs instead of outsourcing our happiness to other people. Esp when they that don't even know what we need. We are allowed to meet own needs.

Hi I’m Jill I have just found your channel. I have a lot of autoimmune diseases and have been working on my emotional issues and it is becoming clear to me that resentment is one of my main negative emotions, I am hoping that in clearing this my health will improve.

I don’t want anyone to “die.” Recognize and communicate, yes. That aside, no one is responsible for me. Humans are not perfect and incapable of filling our soul. They will disappoint. Not purposely. Only God is perfect. He fills the voided areas that man cannot.

Thank you for that incredible incite. I’m Wes. I’m feeling a lot of resentment within a relationship with my wife and I’m finding this so very helpful. Thank you!

I am 57 years old and I have never heard this before! Game changer!! I have been married almost 40 years and this info could have saved me so much grief had I have known it before now. ❤️❤️❤️

7, 5 and 2 ?!? Bless you! Always amazing! I recognize my resentment, it is still a work in progress! When words and actions don't match... I have to be especially mindful when this relationship bleeds over into other areas.

Hey. This is quality content. I think my problem as a "people pleaser" is that I struggle with the fact that other's don't tend to have those tendencies and don't view pleasing others (ME) as a priority and I get resentful that they don't make the same effort as I do. I guess this is the rulebook I have made for myself and I need to take a different look at the situation. Thank you.

I resent my mum for keeping me in a violent home. Even though my mum was loving and my dad was the violent one, I just hate my mum for keeping us there - she could have taken us away but she didn’t . And I know that she will have been doing her best, she was obviously more scared to leave than to stay. But I grew up with so many mental health issues and now have CFS which is linked directly to the trauma and anxiety disorders. So I HATE her, but I desperately want to forgive and love her. She’s a good person.

I am so resentful towards my partner for second guessing me, and not letting me speak or say how I feel. He thinks he does, but his constant "solutions" is not what I need. I just need anyone to listen at this point.

I have so much resentment towards a few people. Need so much help. Loved the video.

Thank you! Your words were the key that unlocked the door. I feel so much lighter. There isn't a pit in my chest. My stomach is no longer in a knot. I am okay. Even though I did not get what I wanted or had expected, I am okay! I will be okay! Release for sure! Freedom...Yay!!!!!!!!

Wonderful video Julia! Thank you! I’ve been carrying resentment towards my ex for the past 9.5 years, partly because she has not met my expectations in regards to how she’s provided for our adult children, but also partly because she HAS provided (in her own way) to our children. I figured out that I’m resentful of her because I’m not happy with myself; that I’ve put the keys to my happiness in her pocket, instead of looking for them in MY pocket. Time to be responsible for my own happiness, and take positive actions that will bring me closer to that goal. Thank you again for this thought provoking message.

This completely resonated with me...you dont need anyone elses approval to feel worthy or valued...it feels nice obvs but you arent defined by that

Thank you Julia - I really needed this - I was doing a guided mindful meditation on being kind - I did really feel that I needed this I want to add!! I mean I'm really kind! Part of it was to visualise someone that you didn't 'feel' kindly to. So I did - what really surprised me is that I wasn't willing to let go of the resentment and anger that I feel for them and then I actually saw that there were several people - in my past - that I still hold resent for. The scaring thing is that I don't want to give this up for any of them!! This seem a bit crazy to me as on the whole I would say that I was a good person. My search about resentment lead me to you and I am thankful for your video - at least now I understand why I feel it - I just need to work on why I'm so comfortable with this resentment and why I don't want it to go - I guess I still am waiting for them to 'pay' - ha ha and that's not going to happen - oh dear - sad face!!

Knot came loose. Saving this video for the next time I get tied up.

The Resentment I held within my heart for this past year.Cost me being able to enjoy and appreciate the last times I should have made as favorable and Memorable moments I could have shared with the women who gave me life.I could not feel past my hurt let alone Open my mouth to ever truly tell my mother what I was feeling in my heart.If I could have only expressed to her how much I loved her and needed her in my life.Instead of holding all my pain in and acting as if she only made me mad.I can see myself so clear now that she passed away this Mother’s Day early morning.When I was filled with hurt only my anger would show.Yet now that she is no longer around the anger is now gone and I can now feel all my moms worth.Its hard when you come to terms to know you don’t actually know how to express hurt emotions only every other emotion In between.I grow up holding my hurt inside and shaking it off.But over the years it’s made me sheltered off from mostly all.Knowing now that I have a major problem if I couldn’t even open up my heart to let my own mother back inside.Has me seeking deeper within to figure myself out.I wish I could have just told my mom I loved her instead of avoiding her out my life.At the time I thought that’s what I needed to heal but either way I struck out because my moms life wasn’t as long as I had always imagined it would have been.They say in life we learn yet this is one lesson I would rather LiVe WiThOuT💔Thanks Julia Kristina for all your helpful insights and Techniques to inner healing.Blessings ur way ALWAYS✍🏽

Julia, thank you for sharing all of these videos. They really help.

My wife definitely knows what she did to me over the 30+ year we’ve been married… she just doesn’t care, narcissists have no feelings… I know that one day soon she’s going to regret it all but it would be too late. However no matter what I do is not going to restore me the years lost😢 The lonely nights are the painful dreams are the worst to overcome.

Julia, your content is always so right on target and communicated so effectively. You are making a HUGE difference in the community you influence by bringing truth and emotional health. I appreciate you and all I continue to learn from you. Thanks for using your talents to serve your community so beautifully 😊

Hey Julia Love yr videos ..I love the fact that u seem to be talking from yr heart and not just rattling out information..love to hear yr personal anecdotes ,makes me feel that u are real and applying yr advices to yourself. This is important to me coz it addresses the feeling, oh you don't know what I am going through! Love the way u navigate to the central feeling of an emotion.. Hoping to apply and be successful !

Being in a relationship with a narcissist is a lot harder to get over the past hurts. You can forgive, but you can not unsee their actions.

Hello everyone, I am Ikram and I love Julia's videos because she enlightens things that we ignore sometimes.. Thanks !

Holding grudge against someone is like drinking a poison and expect the other person to die !!!!!!

I'll go you one more. It is actually our responsibility to ourselves to provide the; respect, love, compassion, gratitude, etc. that we sometimes expect from others. Don't kid yourself, they feel our resentment too even if we don't say anything. The best part is that when we unconditionally give; respect, love, compassion, gratitude, etc. to ourselves then we can give that to others. You cannot give what you don't have. The less expectations we have of others then the more peaceful and happy we are, and less fearful. When gratitude is conditional on someone else expressing it to us, it can also be taken away, hence the fear. That puts a lot of pressure on relationships and a lot of score keeping. Since I have been practicing self-encouragement, I really enjoy encouraging others, and I am detached from whether they encourage me or not. Love your channel!

My takeaway is that I should have asked my father’s family to love me, accept me, include me and be kind to me 40 years ago. I wouldn’t think one would have to ask this of family. A child knows if they aren’t liked. My bitterness is my problem, still. For a long time I stopped expecting it.

I'm still struggling somewhat with how to get over resentment as a child who carries resentment towards their parents. I feel like that is a case where it really is "fair" to expect certain things from them, and the expectations I had for them are basic parenting expectations. I can certainly take care of myself and find my own happiness as an adult now, but whenever they talk to me about my childhood I still feel resentful.

I have a Big resentment. I had a friend for 5 years and things were GREAT. Lots of shareing and talking about things important to us and our lives. Then, an person I knew from 25 years ago that treated me badly came into the picture. When she 1st started the job she came up to me and asked me, "Did I ever do anything years ago that hurt your feelings?" I thought about all the things she had done to me but lied and told her, "No." I did that because if she honestly does not remember how she treated me that woukd be a good thing. And now that sge is about 50 she should be grown up enough to not ve so caniving and manipulative like when she was younger. She and my friend started spending time together and within 5 weeks my friendship was completely demolished. I walked into the breakroom and they were in there talking but once they saw me all the talking stopped. I had to go around the corner to get supplies and when I came out they still were not talking but I saw my friend roll her eyes. Id never seen her do that even once in all the years Id known her. I knew the chick was telling stories about me and 1 collegue came tovme and asked me if I wanted to know the aweful things the chick was saying aboyt me to everyone. I told her no I didnt want to know. She just spent a lot of time cutting me down and trying to ruin my reputation at work. My friend actually chewed me out at work 3 separate times in front of other employees about how I did something at work without consulting her first and how I should have done such and such instead. I was so embarrassed and angry each time and so walked away. After a year bits and pieces are put back together enough for a working relationship but no friendship remains and the other chick has since quit the job. I never thought my friend would treat me so badly, especially in front of others and am upset that she let a 5 year friendship be demolished in about 5 weeks. I am tired of loathing them both and wishing my friend would quit her job so I dont have to think about what happened. I want to move on and have watched lots of videos on forgiveness but so far have not been able to or allowed myself to let this mess go. I do expect people to treat other with respect and is a downfall of mine. How can I get better so I can move on or even just live and learn.

Same as other comments. It’s a given that parents don’t abuse their little 5 year old girl her whole life , still working on forgiveness. As an adult I asked the scapegoating , and abuse to stop. It continued. I took space . I pray to forgive them daily. I don’t trust them . Cheetah don’t change their spots

My husband feels this way about me and my chronic illnesses. I try to let him have me time. To give him time away from our kids 6 and 4. He had to cancel an appointment this week because I started a new drug and he said , “don’t ever say I didn’t do anything for you”. It made me feel awful 😢

Wow this is really what I need. Yeah you are right. This is not their responsibility to fulfill my needs..😢 I want to remember this..🙏🏻

So thankful I’ve found your videos...exactly what I need. Thank you for all of your hard work and help. You’re very appreciated x

Thank you Julia. I’m decades older than you but your wisdom is vast. Relationships can feel hard to navigate. you help us do that with your energy , generosity of spirit and sincere sharing. I believe that There is no panacea but with the wisdom we gain here and there we learn to manage relating better without damaging ourselves and others beyond repair. Kind of like find the breadcrumbs in the forest. So thank you for the spiritual nourishment you provide.

Thank you. It’s hard to find people that care and understand what you are going through how ever it may look. Thanks again.

You are a delightful part of my days. Your posts are very focussed. The tools and perspectives you share are clearly articulated. The way you care for others comes through in your posts. You are a light in this world. Thank you for sharing your light.

Thank you!! Very helpful putting that into perspective.

Julia, thank you so much for your honest, grounding, and inspirational videos. you deliver your messages in a way that makes me feel heard and safe. i’d love to see a video about how to get over feelings of guilt because you don’t feel “sick enough” or like your problems aren’t real? I often compare myself to my friends who struggle with diagnosed mental health problems, and then I don’t feel like I deserve help even though I struggle so much too.

Your example is very helpful. The whole unpacking of this scenario shows exactly how this happens. Being your own best friend is actually a conscious effort and easy to forget.

What do you do, when your boss continuously corrects your mistake in a demeaning manner? Based on experience, you feel they might not appreciate you telling them how you feel about their actions. Also, you aren't sure how to tell them about their degrading way of correction. Yet, it is something the team members took personal, but they think it pointless to bring it up to her because they are pissed and maybe feel she won't recognise our pain. What do you do as the team leader? To save your mind and the sanity of your team member.

Thanks Kristina. Wanting someone to praise you and idolise you for being responsible for your children is insane. It's part of being a codependent and acting out narcissisticly when you don't get your supply of validation.

I am Gary Bellomy. New here. Saying hello. Work in progress. I am currently in therapy. This is when I start my morning therapy. Had to search on RU-vid for dealing with resentment just to clear my mind to be open to meditation. Sibling bs with good siblings . . Just me wanting more.

Thank you so much! You helped me realize that i am feeling resentful towards a friend and don't feel like i can speak to them about it at all. This person puts me down often, has over stepped boundaries, disrespected me Infront of someone else, accusing me of things and just so many things over not even a year... Her insecurities were placed onto me instead of her bringing me up like a friend should as whole. I got belittled/ talked down to just degraded as person over such a small mistake (misplacing their drinks when moving them the night before) really early in the morning pretty much abusing me which made me remove myself from the conversation. Its getting too much and i think what makes me resent them the most is they treat me like this knowing how much im struggling and how much stress im under in my life. I don't know what to do but I'm taking time to process my feelings. I've been in a friendship like this when i was younger very one sided criticism and the other can do no wrong. Ive said to their face lightly to stop coming at me and when they disrespected me Infront of someone they didn't get the hint. I feel like they will jump down my throat or blame shift.

I harbor resentment toward a group of supposedly adult women who ganged up on me and mobbed/bullied me and then gaslighted me at the same time and afterward.

Great video. Too much energy is expended when you harbor resentment.

I'm so happy you're doing this video. Thanks for sharing on this topic Julia!!

Wonderfully said and so true. Once you start to praise yourself, you grow up and start to be independent, but in a good way. Thanks

hi i think we chatted before, i am happy you are doing better and helping other people out.

I like how clearly and calmly you speak, thank you! I feel more relaxed and confident

I know you didn’t ask, but for me it’s nice to practice before hand, anything to do with the other, I want to practice asking “do you need me to calm the kids down?”

I have some resentment for how my husband treated me during the death of his mother. She died literally the day before his birthday and his family just imploded. He is the oldest and so everyone looked to him to take care of everything. Some of the family is were downright abusive to him and he just had to keep it together. I tried to be by his side and support him best I could, but he starts using me as an emotional trashcan during the whole thing. Shouting, calling me names, and even get angry with me because I wouldn't let him throw away family keepsakes out of spite for his sister (who was being a real jerk to him in all fairness). He was so angry at me, threw everything he knew could hurt me in my face because I wouldn't let him throw away family pictures: his baptism clothes when he was a baby, his grandfather's flag. His sister was being so mean and I understood why he would want to get back at her, but that would've been too much amd I KNOW he would regretted it. So he lashed out at me instead. And I took it. Because I knew he wasn't away like this. But months later and I find myself feeling resent for how he was. I know it's wrong to be mad at him: his mom just died and his family were all acting horribly. But he was brutal to me for weeks. And then just today he brought up something in regards to one of his mom's possessions; (a sore subject because he wouldn't let me handle it at the time, but then just now wants to blame me for it not getting done??! ) and I just want to be away from him all day. I don't want to be mean to him, but I just don't want to be around him today.

Omg that self recognition part SPOKE TO ME

I'm binge-watching videos on how to let go of a grudge. This video was also helpful, thanks! No Serial Killer.

You're amazing, very informative video. I have learn something new today because of you. You deserve this subscription 🙏🙏

Yes to everything you said but also it’s very typical for man to just be happy to be acknowledged without giving acknowledgment to others. I say it is your husband’s job to make you feel appreciated. This is not just anybody we are talking about…this is the man you married. This is not just “other people”! You keep selling Abby’s story but underneath the sheet of feeling empowered you will make yourself wrong.

My biggest takeaway is that I can give myself all the approval I need.

This probably makes sense for minor things like in your example. When you are experiencing significant abuse then it’s not a model I can put into place.

This video talks about one important and perhaps quite common dynamic that can build resentment, but the title sorta implies that it will deal more generally with resentment, rather than just the one specific dynamic. I think the video was well-made, but poorly titled. A lot of the other comments are saying similar things, some with perhaps more vigour than kindness, but it's a point worth making. Quite a lot of resentment comes from sources that we have not entirely fabricated in our own minds.

I resent life as whole, It's not always relationships, it's laws, injustice, authorities, work regulations.

Julia Kristina, Thank you so much for all your beautiful work! You just brought peace in my mind and heart! I realised instantly that I was aspected the same thing from others persons... the recognition....... such a relief to know that actually there is no need to wait from someone nothing.... I can say to my self that I’m grateful for the beautiful job that I just done! And this is the big secret!

Hello Julia, I'm Daphne and I love your channel! I just started watching it and I'm learning so much about me. I'm even learning just how badly I have been abused and how much control I have given to others... Thank you for your beautiful channel and sharing your talents! 🙏❤

Hi, I think I heard ...to own my feelings my own expectations. Excellent!

Thank you! I was looking for some guidance in this topic and I am so glad your video popped up!

Jesus sent me to this channel and you. May God continue to bless you and grant you even more success 🙏🏾💕