What it Takes to Have Strong Relationships 

Letting go of expectations and setting boundaries, respecting each other and having empathy :)

I am learning boundaries at age 65 and I love it.

Great presentation. I especially appreciate the part you mentioned about expectations and boundaries. Life is a two way street and if you are acting in good faith you have the right to be able to expect as much in return. Thanks for another great presentation.

Treat people the exact same way they treat you. Expect (or demand) from them what they do from you and deliver as much as they do. Respect their boundaries as much/less as they respect yours. You’ll be so surprise how rare real, honest and authentic people are, almost like unicorns.

Wow, I love point #3, I was beginning to feel like I'm the fool for wanting women to communicate with me rather than mind read.

I feel like I just stumbled upon a gold mine when I found your channel. Thank you Jesus ! 🙌

I love what you are putting out in the world Julia! Thank you for being generous with your time and wisdom.

Thanks for being yourself, Julia. Because of u , your advices, I've made up my mind to leave behind those I hate, toxic people that talk me down behind my back. Like u told me , I don't need their approval to achieve my goals. U and Daniel tell me the same thing. I don't have to argue with my foes. I know what I'm able to do. Thanks you all for teaching me to be a better person and leave behind those who mean nothing to me. U make me feel might real. Happy Christmas to all your family. The same goes for Damiel Ally. Thanks

I try watching a variety of videos from others who have knowledge and I always end up coming back to Julia Kristina.

Amazing woman! Fair, smart, outspoken, logical, consistent! Thank you!

Love your videos, I learn more and more about myself every time I watch you!

Seriously, every human should watch this video!!!! It’s so good. I’m actually jotting down notes and talking to my kids about it. My daughter is going to college and living in a dorm and I think this will be super helpful! Thanks again for helpful and precise content!!! Xoxo Kyndale

I'm so grateful to have found your Chanel. I resonate with the integrity as have never attributed it to myself, so many things now make so much sense. Thank you for your pearls of wisdom 😀

Thank you so much for sharing your kindness and wisdom with us!

Once I start, I talk too much about myself. I feel guilty and ashamed afterwards. So, #5 will be my priority.

So helpful! Thank you for sharing your gifts!

The first thing I will do is check my expectations of other people and see if they are realistic or not. Sometimes, we have idealistic expectations from people.

It is unreal the knowledge and strategies Iv'e learned watching your videos the last couple of nights. Thank you so much, honestly THANK YOU.

Thanks Julia, I found you page about 2 days ago I've listened to around 6 video's so far... expectations are a big flaw of mine.. lots to think about for me. Great content!!

Very recently I have had to deal with a girl group friendship breakdown, it broke me, this video has restored my faith in myself, the boundaries I need to put in place and my expectations of others, so thank you for this inspiring insight.

Yes. We should have some expectations, but be aware enough to understand if a person can fulfill them or not... that is so true!

I really appreciate your content Julia, please keep doing them for us. I think they are very important for us to learn

You are welcome, will always support you! ❤️

Everything boils down to effective communication

Thank you for telling us what kind of communication mistakes to avoid.

Oh my, Julia, it's just like you're directly in my head............. you know what I'm thinking and question about life/people, it's just entirely all in your vids (and really easy to listen&understand too - an important thing!) Really love you and your channel, thank you :D!

Thank you again! Wonderful Tools to implement in my life that I have longed for and needed.

So good. So amazingly good. Such truth that validates me and truth that calls me out!

I love your coaching so much!!

Yes! I totally agree, men & people in general are not mind readers.🙄 👏👏👏 Good on you Julia for telling it how it is👍 it is BS if you think anyone can read your thoughts & what you want or need😉 Shout out from Perth WA 🇦🇺🌻

I appreciate the fact that everything you said is the kind of thing that's right under your nose. Examples: Listening? Wow! who would've thought that would do you any good? You mean people aren't mind readers? Guess not!Brilliance is sometimes the thing you discover that goes over the heads of many people.

This might be the best video I've watched by her

Thank you, I really need to hear your talks!!!

I love this! Thank you so much!

This was such a good video, I've watched it a few times, Great Self Education

Your delivery and enthusiasm is contagious (young lady)😁

I’m 66 and miss the “bosom buddy” relationships I had years ago. Those old friends are no longer in the same city. Seems like people are so busy and occasional get togethers are enough for them. I miss hanging out with a friend often. I have some lovely friends but not like the old days. I’m not sure I would ever tell someone that I wanted to talk about myself or my experience. I figured if they don’t ask then they apparently don’t care to know. I’ve pretty much eliminated friends who are like that. I had lunch with an old friend from high school and she talked about her life for 3 hours and not once asked me a single question. She said the next time we went to lunch she wanted to know about my life. There wasn’t a next time LOL! As far as expectations, I’ve lowered them tremendously. If they don’t ever reciprocate then I would never be close to them anyway.

This is some quality content. I never thought about it. I want a bosom buddy but with today's world its not always possible. I love how my friends are passionate and I want that too. I need to stop and analyze what they are offering me. They do value my friendship but I wanted more sometimes when its time to deliver on my part I don't give as much I thought. I didn't realize I what I was doing. I've been deprived of friendships and I didn't know how to have friendship. I'm going to use this for when I talk to my friends for next time. Thank you this has opened my eyes to what I want.

I love Alfred Adler! He was one of my favorite shapers of psychology. Very nice to hear his mention. :)

I love most of your sharing Julia, it has enlighten me so much since I read it a month ago! I keep searching all your RU-vid sharing since then, and working on appreciate myself and build relationship with myself. This sharing about relationship with others is also one of my biggest pain in life thank you so much in sharing

You definitely are a great person, and I love your videos. I am really getting addicted to them, in a healthy way, that is :) Love you.

Really helpful and really great advice that will help for my future relationships

Everyone needs to hear this 💯

Thank you so much for this

Julia, as usual I always appreciate listening to you and the things you have to say!

Julia, your videos have helped me so much. Thank you

Great advice, I fully agree.

I really like the suggestion to "check yourself" This is definitely a goal to aim for in keeping your communication clean. I like that one.

Julia Christina, your channel has helped me in a myriad of ways. This video was powerful. You're crisp, obviously immensely knowledgeable and experienced, positive, very effective, and thoroughly fit for every imaginable demographic. Thank you for your consistent, devoted hard work to transform so many lives here! I thought I'd run by you this observation of mine about only saying 'yes' when you want to. I've noticed how many marriages turn into resenting, sexless marriages due to lack of positive communication. And, so, my thoughts are regarding the instance of a married couple and the proposition or insinuation of sex. I've often advised that a spouse should always say 'yes' to sex, considering the emotionally triggering and potentially devastating alternative of a 'no' to such a vulnerable request by a spouse. I, however, always point out that such an inevitable 'yes' may be either unconditional or lovingly conditional. What I mean is that it may range from a... + "Yes! Let's definitely plan a special time this Sunday, but, say, before that, let's please have a good talk about this thing (a problem) that is bothering me..." + 'Yes! Definitely..how about Tuesday night... I first need to focus on my upcoming interview (or see my doctor, or finish fixing the car, or complete my final exam week, or buy a dress, or get my nails done, or rest from the long trip, or whatever..) + + ++ to.... ++ ++ Yes, after dinner and a movie! ++ Yes, but let's wait until the guests leave! ++ Yes! Give me two minutes to get the wine (or lock the doors, or shower, or even pay this bill online...) ++ Right here? Right now? I'm game! ++ Yes!! I thought you'd never ask! ❤️.. @%# WATCH THAT CAR!!!!! The idea is that, even if it needs to be postponed, you should want to say 'yes' to your spouse. And, if postponed, the plan should be happily fulfilled, given the excitement and expectancy for it. - So, I'd say that married couples should always see the love and wisdom of wanting to say an honest 'yes' one way or another. What are your thoughts about this within the context of a marriage that wants to endeavor in staying happy and healthy?

this video was soo helpful

Your you tube videos are excellent and very helpful. Thank you. I certainly agree with you about people interrupting and 'not listening'; it hacks me off something rotten. I think I must simply be a bore. I sense people aren't interested. I would find it very difficult to say 'let me tell you about my day', as you suggest. I can just imagine someone saying 'huh, it's all about you'! Maybe I have my home work to practice?!

On point as usual, Julia.

Thank you to those of you who have shared this video out on social media - few things mean more to me. If you did share it, will you let me know so I can thank you? Or, if you share it on your Instagram Stories, will you tag me (@juliacounsellor) so I can extra special thank you?

She does such a god job these videos are very helpful thank you

I’m getting this at 72. Thank you for the guidance.

So helpful 🌼🌺

I loved your channel. .❤❤

Great video as usual Julia. I have bookmarked this video not just for relationships but because it's something I need to share this with some of my friends. I especially want to share the mind-reading part with a female friend who is pretty bad about always expecting her husband to just know what she wants or is feeling, for the very same reasons you pointed out. I don't know if she will listen but you explain it a lot better than I could. On the expectations part, that is definitely something that can sour any relationship very quickly. If we don't tell people what we like, want or need then we can't get mad at them if we didn't express it to them.

Thank you.

Omg this gonna make a huge difference in me now 🥰

Excellent!

I love it, especially the idea that it's perfectly normal to have expectations, they just should be realistic and if someone isn't offering what you expect, it's also okay. We have the choice of how to react and if we really want it (or need it), we can look for it in other person who is willing to provide that need or want. Win-win and no hard feelings. Is like some quote I read: "Don't complain about the water well still being empty, ask yourself why you keep looking water there..." 😊

I must admit that, being more on the introverted side, and giving a lot of energy to my job, i need more quiet time and space these days... i have been able to communicate this quite clearly to friends who would have wanted me to commit to more regular meet ups... I still feel guilty about it, as if i were a bit selfish... but I know that it wouldn't be fair to do things begrudgingly! Xxx

Thank you for sharing. I'm old enough to know many of these things but need to be reminded all the time.

I took notes✍👍...loved the simple and straightforward tips on developing strong relationships that thrive. Thank you always Julia Kristina...you are awesome!😊🙏🏼❤

Big fan of your thoughts Julia... I always learn the point “Fixing things and An balance on factors of relationship”... My priorities: People , relationship and then Anything ( Money , Career...etc) becoz People and relationship can bring ANYTHING but not vice versa.. Thank you again for your time and efforts in making these videos ...

I need to work on all of these, but I’m starting to work on healthy boundaries first! It’s so hard to do when you are used to not having any

You changed my life for the better ♥️

Excellent advices. I will practice all of it.

Great video as always Julia ❤️

i love your videos soooo much

Such a wonderfully encouraging video talk Julia. It spoke to me a lot, and made me think about how I play a part in a relationship, and what I may need to change about me. Boundaries keep coming up a lot in the talks, and maybe this is something I need to focus on first. I think I have a lot to learn, to perhaps change some of my ways. I must watch this video again later and take some notes. ❤

holy crap this is very helpful! Man Inever have understood when people talk about this sort of thing but you are kind of "to the point" (I mean that in a good way).

🙏 Thank you 🙏

What about "treat ppl how you want to be treated"? That's what I was taught then it was supposed to known "you did it for them there fore they should do the same". But I'm now starting to see that we were lied too and that was never true. Thankyou for the clarity

Great content

Yes perfect

13:39 as simple as getting a "reward" for doing something for that other person Sometimes a smile, knowing they're less stressed because of your actions is enough (I get massive relief, happiness and motivation knowing I can help a friend with her work and whatnot even if she says nothing) but some other times a thank you or doing something back to that someone will be needed (and she has).

Love lift us up where we belong.

Julia you communicate brilliantly thankyou, you aren't preachy but very insightful I love your uploads they make a lot of sense 👍👍

This was awesome! Thank you for this much needed video. I have so much anxiety when comes to relationships so I stay away from them. I'm out going, but I don't like getting close romantically or platonically. I do want to work on getting closer to people. Slowly of course. One thing I do want to say in regards to the mind reading: women get a bad wrap on that. Be sure to speak directly to the men about this, too. Maybe I'm rare, but I get in trouble by guys for not, ”just knowing.” I feel like because people want this Hollywood romance, regardless of gender, people believe that love is magical. Such a turn off! Part of the reason I run. 😳I have plenty of my own faults to correct, but that is one thing I always hear is blamed on women (maybe because women are more vocal about it, ) but men have issues with that as well and they feel hurt by it. My bad is that I make fun of them for it which I should stop doing and I will. Now. 👍 But overall, I'm going to take this full advice to heart. It's fantastic and perhaps will help with my anxieties.

I think with the first point, you have to analyse what they're offering, if it's something that you WANT but don't NEED, you can try to see things from their perspective and compromise. If what they're offering isn't meeting you basic NEEDS, then there's a serious problem. thanks for the video!

Hey Julia! I am Varun and I also live in Vancouver. A friend recommended me to watch your videos on RU-vid. Your videos motivate me to work hard on improving myself. Although I watch your videos on RU-vid, I would like to meet you sometime and learn and share. This video made my day better and changed my expectations of my friendships

Julia...thank you so much for this insightful video on how to have strong/ healthy relationships!!! These key points are very helpful & I will be referring to them often. I'm also very excited learn more about 25 Ways To Say No that you so kindly decided to share with us without charge. Is there another link that's possibly available to access that download? I've tried accessing the download multiple times through the link that is given here but it still has yet to arrive in my inbox.

Speak my truth.

I believe it is a problem having low expectations. 'Mutual expecting' requires lotta conversations of negotiations.

Boundaries are hard.... necessary, I know, but hard.

Thank you Julia, very informative video! Now I just need to work on that whole having relationships part.... 🤔 lol.

Watching this video made me realize how bad I messed up in my marriage, I wish I would have found you sooner

What a beautiful video, as beautiful as you! The part about "especially to women, expecting to read their minds", thank you for that! I highly appreciate that as a man.

Also I would appreciate some videos on the ego like you mentioned on your insta story recently! I don't really know what it is, but I'd like to learn more!

How do we set our partners up for success? Do you have guidance/guidelines how to do that? You just mentioned it (11:31 into this talk) and my ears perked up because I would LOVE to know!

i love this vid so much, thanks julia! but i do have a little question though - i understand that yes, we do have diff expectations of others. but how do we go about ensuring that the new people/existing people we meet have similar expectations of the friendship? because just purely 'clicking' with them initially doesn't always mean that they have constant expectations of the friendship, and personally i find it a bit weird to go "hey so what do you expect out of our friendship". would love to hear the ways in which we can do this, thanks and much love from singapore :)

I'm so tired of relationships. My 'friends' drain me out. I'm always attracting needy people. So I'm setting boundaries at the moment in a kind way being clear about what I need. That's not what my friends are waiting for they just want my ears not my mouth. It's difficult.

Hi 🙋‍♀️ I'm looking for the link for speaking and feeling heard...that you were talking about in this video...pls help 🤗

My wife does. All of that

Hi Julia. Can you please tell me what should be done when our boundaries are not accepted and respected ? How should we respond to them ?

Check Yourself was big for me. Especially when I'm angry. Or rejected. Oh Lord.

I need to figure out what my wants and needs are

For 1: thank you so much, you're a beautiful soul and I LOVE all of your videos. 2: this video kinda makes me feel like I suck LOL, I recently was dating a very great guy, but he did a few things I didnt like and we both kind of just stopped talking to each other and I'm constantly beating myself up because I know if I'd have just communicated better maybe things would have worked out. I shouldn't have cut him off, maybe one day I'll make things right again. Thanks a ton, Julia