How To Help Someone with Anxiety 

If you struggle with anxiety what do you find most helpful when it comes to getting support from loved ones? And if you have a loved one who struggles with anxiety, what tips do you have for us?

1. Let them know that you are their for them. 2. Let them know that they can call you any time. 3. Do not guilt trip, make ultimatums or threaten them. 4. Have boundaries with the person. Don’t put yourself on hold for them. 5. Do not assume you know what they need. Ask what they need. Ask how you can support them. 6. Do not make superficial “positive” comments. 7. Tell them its ok to feel the way they are feeling. 8. Give praise to them 9. Help them see their strengths out side of their anxiety. Reassure them the positives about them.

I'm here to help my best friend

I cried when she said "it's Ok". I didnt realise how long ive been waiting on someone to just say it's ok to feel what you're feeling

Shout out to everyone here to help their spouse deal with anxiety. You all have a special place in my heart. I wish more people would be knowledgeable about people suffering with mental disorders. It should be talked about in health/speech class during school because majority of humans without a mental disorder don’t understand the mental battle we go through constantly even when we are asleep.

I have anxiety and last night I was with my boyfriend and my anxiety was too much for me and my boyfriend looks at me and hugs me and asks what's wrong I am here for you I love you, you mean the world to me I want to help you. I told him I felt like I have been a burden on him he looks at me and says you never are and never will be I understand the thoughts in your head say different but you will never burden me i am not going anywhere. It's helped me so much.

Everyone says they are here for someone, and I'm here for my mother.

Having someone to just listen and not try to solve the issues is what really helps me a lot. People don’t realize how difficult it is for a person with anxiety and/ or depression to open up and talk about it. We don’t want to burden others with our problems.

i’m here to help my boyfriend

I don't know why I'm crying while watching, I really want to understand him and make him feel that he's not alone on this.

As someone who suffers from anxiety I can only say what helps me as Julia said in the video. I agree with everything she suggested. I have found most of the time rubbing my back with your open hand in a soothing motion (think of a rubbing a child in distress) or just holding me like a very long hug. I have my moments on the other hand where I want to be left alone (usual after in my head I feel I embarrassed myself). I say alone I mean alone. For instance im at Home I will walk into the garage, go to the bathroom, or step outside to have no other energy around me. I hope my suggestion can help someone. Best wishes.

Im here for my boyfriend. This is an eye opener for me. I have been doing a lot of things the wrong way. I feel awful but at the same time hopeful. Listening to this made me cry and also made me love him even more. Thank you so much!❤

i’m here to help my girlfriend too bro’s❤️ i want her to feel loved❤️

It is very helpful when someone says “how can I help you? What do you need?”

My girlfriend has anxiety due to her past, it gets triggered often and usually when she's around people or when she's put in the spotlight to say something. I help her to my level best, today I asked her to take deep breaths with me and exhaled in a funny way that made her giggle. A little effort goes a long way and I know it's not a one-day thing, it's a process and I'm gonna help her through it. She always fails to see how beautiful she is, inside out. She is really talented and is already so successful! I'm proud of her and I'm glad I watched this video. I will keep these points you made, in my mind always.

Helping our loved ones so important. We feel so helpless watching them suffer and frustrated with ourselves we don’t understand what they are going through.

❤️What ist helpful : speaking about what brings joy. Hanging out with animals . Playing with Kids or playing in general(board games,act it out etc ) . Roleplay, mindful eating , ,Nature, dancing , be creative, expressing myself in art(also together) , be complimented , singing together Disney Songs , surround myself with people who dont worry and are easy going and compassionate,patient and love their life -and like to share inspiration ❤️thank you so much for sharing your wisdom!!! All ist so true!

I’m trying to help my best friend and I can’t do anything online, so it really sucks

I’m here for my sister.. i just saw that she is scared about Everything and she s shaking al the time, sometimes i just hear her crying and i just don’t Know what to do... thx for this video omg i hope she is going to be fine :(((((

My loved one struggles with anxiety. I see her exhausted and in a mind spiral 99.9% of the time. I found out that peacefulness helps her. So for 2 weeks I've been listening, and asking what can you do to feel peaceful? And affirming 'oh that's such a lovely idea'. She called me up to tell me that for the first time in her life, she cancelled plans and spend time to just feel relaxed and she sounded ehm well happy but not in a cheerful way, more in a calm way. For the first time she said no to taking care of her mother, and she's done this for 60 years. So it's a big source of stress and anxiety all her life. I'm grateful for your video and will take all this beautiful information into consideration. She does worrie and stress over me and meddles to the point that her anxiety takes over my life, so boundaries is something I need to look into. Catch my boundaries before the anxiety comes in and takes over my own personal life. I don't guild trip her, yet it's a struggle to stay patient and not resentful. So now I know what to practise; boundaries. And then it should be ok. And I also feel that I need extra self care, cause her anxiety drives many behaviors that are so frantic and mad, it's really hard to watch and it pains me, many many times. So self care to loved ones is also super important. And I say this with compassion for both her and myself :). Thank you for this video.

So on point Julia... unfortunately my partner do everything that is the opposite of what you are suggesting. The guilt trip, ultimatum and very unkind & cruel toward me has harbor so much hatred toward him. It's really hard to love him because I been telling and ask him to do exactly what you are suggested so many years that I feel so alone and unsupported. I even have people who tell me to just go kill my self because I'm having an anxiety attack. Such cruel n mean people I have around me and I cannot do much when I feel like I cannot do most thing on my own. I also suffer with agoraphobia too but recently started to go out and drive more now. I no longer a housebound.., but I do get anxious leaving my safe zone, but I'm able to push myself. Thanks for this Julia.

Just came here after my guy friend just told me he has anxiety Im dedicated to support him and thank you for this wonderful video💕

I am here for my boyfriend. Today is my second day Dating him but I will never leave him. He is a great men. I will continue with our relationship and be there for him thank you for your advice God bless

Thank you for making this video, you were able to put into words what I was too anxious tell people. I want people to listen without trying to explain to me how I should feel about something and to "Not let it get to me". I know I shouldn't feel that way, I know I am 'over reacting' but when someone says that it just sends my emotions spiraling out if control and, in my case, that can and will send me into a deep and dangerous (to myself) depression. I have been medicated for just a little over a week and I can't tell you how much of weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and the swirling storm inside my head has cleared. I had forgotten what "calm" felt like; for so long I had thought that my numbness was everybody's normal "calm". I hope whomever is reading this, if you suffer he same as I do-because I am not cured- just know that you are not alone. If you feel you need help, find your local Health guide and see when you can set up an appointment, it's not a bad thing to help yourself get better, no matter what some in today's society may say.

If you are here to help your friend, I have to say you are a great friend because your friend is most likely in a state where he/she cannot say this or simply be mean to you. You are not the problem and they are not too. Dont give up on your friends, they cant always show it but they appreciate it

I watch your videos not as someone who loves someone with Anxiety, but as someone who struggles with it and is seeking refuge in your deep understanding of what I'm going through. I so wish it were easier to explain anxiety to the new people in my life. Thank you 💕

Every time someone is going through something I always let them know it’s ok to feel ok, and re-assure them that I’m there for them.

I'm here for my best friend too. She's been struggling with anxiety

This video changed my life in 18 min. Thank you.

I struggle with anxiety, and everything she said is amazing. Truly helpful. I wish more people knew about anxiety

Thank you so much!! This really opened my eyes on things. I’ve been try to help the one I love but she keeps shutting me down and I was getting frustrated. So I really wanted an answer because I care. A lot of what you say match exactly what I’ve been seeing and I just didn’t know what to do. Now I know and going to try my best. Thank you again!!!!

Hello Julia! First I want to say thank you for being so awesome and informative for those who are struggling. You have an exceptional insight! I would love to see something that would express to people how hurtful they are when they use the term "toxic" It seems as though some people think that if you are not able to pull yourself out of depression/anxiety and become the life of the party, or even a part of the party, you are considered "toxic", when in turn the ones who label you that are actually the ones being toxic. It is like poison to someone who already doesn't feel good! Again, thank you for being one of the best I've seen on the helpful side!

This is just outstandingly considerate and useful. Loving someone with anxiety can make you feel helpless but I am most grateful for your efforts to educate. Bravo!

Thank you, Julia, for what you're doing! You can't imagine how much your videos are helping people suffering from anxiety!! :)

You broke it down nicely. I love this. Thank you very much ❤️

This was a great video Julia. Thank you so much for making this! Words of encouragement and acknowledgement "hey I know that was hard for you and you did it!" are huge!

When we start doing better when the anxiety and doing more things or keeping cool in tense situations tell us we handled it well but if we can’t do that and we fall and need help getting back on our feet be there to help us brush the dust off and give us the encouragement that we can do it. Also compromising in a relationship especially one that’s stressful for awhile is helpful, if we agreed that we would keep our cool with there help. If you notice we start to freak out and take things out on them if they stop and say alright collect your self take a deep breath and take a step back from the situation and look at it differently. I suffer with anxiety depression and I also have anger issues. My boyfriend and I argue a lot because I fly off the handle so much. These videos help him realize just how hard it really is to stay calm cool and collected for me. Once I have said something then I can spot every little detail of what I had done wrong and then I down on my self for it because I said mean, rude or hurtful things to person I love the most. Thank you

Just started watching and I have to say you are an amazing person with amazing knowledge that has helped me tremendously !!!!! Thank you for being you😊

My dear wife suffers terrible anxiety. Together as a couple we are absolutely great!. She had a child to an x bf who is now 10 years of age. Custody issues have had a huge impact upon us. I am learning to walk through the storms of our present lives. Learning to have more empathy and compassion, patience and tolerance. I also pray every day for peace and understanding though I'm not religious. I am here for her.

Thank you, you really helped me understand a little bit more about anxiety. My daughter suffers from this and it’s so heartbreaking to see. I will use some of the things you mention in your video ❤️

Awesome video Julia, thanks 😀👍

thank you for this. I feel so much more prepared to support my partner now, and I really hope more people find your channel. videos like this can improve the relationships, and quality of life, for so many who are already suffering enough as it is.

This is Great My Partner suffers from anxiety and I'm excited this can help.

I remember when anxiety took full control over my life, I remember I was so scared to just wake up every morning and have to go through it not knowing or fully understanding what was going on in my life. At the time I felt alone ashamed and nobody understood. It took going to the hospital and for me to understand it was anxiety. And at the time I didn’t know what it meant, all I knew is that everyday was the biggest struggle. A year or so had passed and I never reached out cuz the shame I felt, but I brought it up to one of my friends, and they had said oh anxiety I have that too. And from that day I was able to start recovering, just knowing I didn’t have to feel embarrassed and alone. It took 10 years to get to where I am today, and it’s still a working progress. But I can fully live my life. I still have my moments, but they are now easily recognized and I’ve been able to train myself on how to deal with it so it doesn’t manifest itself. Anyways. If you know anyone struggling! Message me and I’ll be more than willing to help!!

So thankful. Trying to understand everything I am experiencing right now. This is so helpful!

THAT was amazing. I just sent it to my son, who doesn’t quite know what to do or say to me. Thank you so much.

I keep coming back to this. Thanks so much for this.

Great advice. Though it sounds like you're about to cry several times. It makes me want to hug you help you feel better. I do love helping people with their depression/anxiety.

My new girlfriend of 1 month saw me open up for the first time. She didn't judge me, instead she just let me cry into her chest and even though I went home feeling terrible it's something that I'll always appreciate because for as long as I was there I felt safe and loved which is very rare for me. So to sum up, if someone you love feels anxious or is having a panic attack or has just had a bad day, a hug goes a long way.

I cry alot, lock my house doors, go to my room and try to learn something productive for my life. I'm so greatful to have found you Julia, thank you for offering us tools to help change our lives. I'm starting today so I'm a new comer here. Thanks again.

Thanks again for all the advice! Much appreciated 🙏

Thank you so much for this video. I forwarded this to my loved one; so they understand better. Amazing video

This is such an amazing video, I do everything you say not to and I’m gonna do everything to change that with the love of my life.. thank you

Great information. Well done. My son suffers from anxiety. I am always seeking help and support for him. I also have an older brother who suffers from anxiety as well. Thank you for putting out this great information.

I'm watching this 1 to see if there's anything here that will come in handy for me or other people, and 2 to see a different perspective, and to see what people without anxiety think about people like me who have anxiety. Thanks for the video!

Kristina! I am so happy that I found your channel, I am actually trying to become a counseling psychologist myself and trying to work up to my masters degree as well, and I am just extremely happy I found you, I want to learn from you and I’m just excited haha! I’m actually almost done with my associates in psychology.

Hey Julia Kristina, I just finished watching another awesome video of yours...this time with my 16 year old daughter...she really found the advice helpful to use with some friends and family members who suffer from anxiety...very much appreciated...you are great!!😊❤🙏🏼

I'm here to help my daughter who is 29, and has suffered with anxiety since she was 7; so far, nothing has worked to help her. Thank you for the advice Julia. Blessings from the UK.

This video really helped me to understand and deepen my knowledge of how to help and support others. Thank you for that!

I struggle with anxiety daily. I am a mom of a previous 3 year old girl and a step mom to 2 precious 3 and 4 year old boys. They can trigger my anxiety. Them not eating food I make. Not listening. Fighting. Sets my anxiety. My husband is extremely supportive and so patient with me, but I still often feel like I am a burden because of my anxiety. It rips me apart. I have to take daily medication, and I don't like having to depend on it. When I have an anxiety attack my husband is there by my side. He will give me a few moments by myself, but then comes in and rubs my back and tells me everything is ok. Kisses my head and holds me and constantly tells me its ok and I love you. It helps me. I just wish I didn't have to constantly feel like I'm going to mess something up, or let the small things overwhelm me to the point where I break down with anxiety and pass out.

Hey Julia! Great video topic and valuable advice...As one who struggles with anxiety, learning how to better understand it and what triggers my anxiety. When I feel the need to talk to someone, and they're not available, I have learned that keeping a journal to write down what I'm anxious about. It is sort of a release, and while doing so I learn what is triggering the anxiety. On the flip side, when listening to someone talk about what is making them anxious and understand their perspective, sometimes offering a different perspective can help them....like "I didn't think of it from that perspective". In the example of going out with friends and your anxious loved one decides they can't go because they may feel their anxiety and uncomfortable. Welcome him/her to go along and they can leave anytime if they wish. Making them feel like they have an "out" of a situation that makes them anxious helps, and in some cases they will enjoy themselves, not feeling obligated. What about learning your loved ones' love language to better communicate with them...Would it reduce their anxiety?

Amazing advice Julia. Just for someone to hug u and tell you that it's going to be ok. Reassurance is essential to someone

Thanks a lot for what you are doing Julia...learned a lot to help someone

Thank you so much for making this video! I have always felt really guilty about unintentionally hurting my friend who has anxiety. Sometimes I try to help them but I guess I send the wrong signal but now I understand why. So thanks for making me a better friend! I appreciate it~~

Thank you so much for this positive and useful advice!

Thank you for this video ! I’m here to help my boyfriend. I never knew he struggled until I started to notice signs.

Thanks for this it was really helpful. Your videos help me feel less overwhelmed

I'm here to help my mom. Thank you for this information 😊

Omg, so on point, I've been struggling since age 8, now I'm 43, you make it sound so relaxing, thank you

Thanks Julia you are helping many people like me...

My dad struggles with anxiety and i wanna help him feel better so thanks for making this video. I will try them out and hopefully it helps him.

This video helped me out so much I never learned how I could help and now that I have someone in my life who I found out has anxiety and all I want to do is help, that k you so much for letting me do that.

thank you very much for your video. You have just open my eyes and my heart big wide. I am married to my wife who suffering from the anxiety and yes, it hurt our marriage really bad and most of the things you've said are very very true. Now I​ know better how to support her and to help her through this. Thank again very very much.

Thank you so much. I have anxiety and you worded this so well 💕💕

Thank you, I really needed to hear this.

Im trying to help someone that i cared about. I wanna know how can i get him to open up, to not feel the burden and its fine to feel how he felt. Thank you for the video. I don’t know who need to hear this. You’re not a wound, you are a gift :)

You absolutely hit everything needed for rebuilding confidence and soul. Only when major trauma or Instances affect us.. We are in major need for support. Isolation and judgement are the enemy.. Thankyou for taking the time to make this video 😌🙏.. I am the loved one btw if you can't tell

Hey Julia, this is such amazingly great advice. So many people in my life don't know how to help and they end up making things worse. I'm definitely going to be sharing this video with my loved ones, and subscribing. You and Kati Morton have made some amazing videos that I love and really help me, so thank you so much! I'll definitely be watching more of your videos!

So basically: be a decent person and listen

LOVE THIS!!! You put the words so Well out there! Thank you!!!

As someone who has been married to someone with anxiety and depression I found this so helpful. I’ve been trying to work this out on my own for 30 years. Sometimes I’ve got it right but often I’ve not been helpful. Thank you sooooo much for helping me know how to help. There are so few resources out there

Wow another on point video...she definitely knows what she's talking about

The call or text every time works. Im glad my son does this. He vents, then it pretty much over. I wish I could do more for him

Thank You so very much for the wonderful video Julia. You are amazing 🤩

Absolutely right🎉 many thanks for sharing this

This was so helpful!! ❤️

I personally have anxiety and the first thing u spoke about is so true like I never want to bother my friends and last night I had a rly bad attack and so I called my good friend and even if neither of us were talking , just knowing they were there made me feel so much better

Thank you! This has been soo helpful for me, to help my 20 yo daughter who struggles.

Thank you, I love to share your thoughts to my friends who are experiencing with anxiety. God bless and more power to you Julia Kristina.

I thank you so much for this, it has really helped me. My cousin is a veteran with alot of issues and it's really bad. I just had a panic attack and I had to stick my head in the freezer and put ice packs around my neck which somehow helped. My face is tingling right now but it's going away. This has happened twice to me before and my cousins situation just triggered one. I'm trying to be there for him and educate myself as best as possible becaus I don't know how to deal with any of this and I don't want to say or do anything wrong. I'm very glad that you are doing this.😊

I don’t have anxiety. On the opposite, I am an extrovert and I always like communication and to expose myself. I am here to understand the human nature of anxious people. I am here to learn how to behave well and offer support to anxious people. Peace to everyone! We are all wonderful as God created us to be.

Thank you so much for the video! ❤️

I have very high anxiety and this was on point, thank you for sharing

Whoa thanks, this is valuable. I'd like to add that in my experience, usually when I put up a wall, if the other hangs around a bit longer, with an open heart, the wall crumbles and I come crawling towards em for a hugg. If that makes sense. For example when I first express that I don't want to talk about something, while it comes from distrust or shame and not me actually not wanting to talk, and after a few breaths I realize I do want to connect. I'm super thankfull for the ones that stayed. I guess ... it functions also kind of a test, if the other truely wants to listen and be there.

Thank you so much. This is helpful.

thank you so much your second point is what I tell everyone everyday. I struggle with severe anxiety and depression and panic attacks, and I always tell everyone I promise I'm not doing it on purpose. I didn't ask for this or plan for this. it's not that I'm doing it for attention or because I wanna make people uncomfortable but for individuals who don't struggle with severe anxiety and depression just do not understand. there's a huge difference between being nervous from time to time and feeling high anxiety everyday beyond what we want. I promise I'm not doing it intentionally I have always had anxiety since I was a young child it's just gotten much more severe after I graduated highschool. thank you for this video. thoughts?

Thank you so much! Stay healthy

Thank you for talking about this. This is helpful to us that deals with depression. 2020

Julia you are amazing. My girlfriend suffers with anxiety and I haven't really been noticing the signs until we are having some time apart. That is the bit I'm struggling with. You tips have made so much sence to me. Thank you so much and kindest regards. Vince ❤️🇬🇧

When you notice something nice about them, don't hold back.