How to Improve Extraverted Feeling (Fe) | Cognitive Functions 

My FE is a double edged sword, both a blessing and a curse. While it helps me to be more mindful of other people's feelings, I can't help but overanalyse my entire conversations later on, and wonder if I may have unintentionally offended anyone!

I’m an INTJ, so idk what I’m even doing here. This Fe stuff is hard man.

0:42 *Reactive Extraverted Feeling (Fe)* 1:03 _Do the people there have certain beliefs or mindsets that mean certain topics ought to be avoided?_ 1:10 _How are this person’s demographic or personal factors playing into this situation?_ 1:15 _Does someone say something that makes another person uncomfortable?_ 1:18 _What are people's social cues implying?_ 1:21 _Is there an imbalance occurring where one person is talking more than another, why is this? Is the person who is talking less happy to be in that role or are they struggling to find a way into the conservation?_ 1:30 *Reactive Fe* 2:19 *Proactive Fe* 3:23 *_"Knowing the best role to take."_* 4:14 *_"What if I don't care about these things?"_* 5:55 *_"What if I'm sort of good with Fe?"_*

Im an ENFJ and I work as Mental Health Nurse at a Psychiatric ward. Extraverted Feeling as been my saving grace in allowing me to do my job effectively as I work to connect with many different people dealing with different emotions, struggles, challenges and personalities.

Fe function is people-centric indeed. It cares for the people's needs, especially emotionally. I'm an ISFJ! Love your videos, Nathan!

Haha brilliant! I am an ESFJ and was just thinking how weird/funny it was to see this things being approached as a logical, step by step process, because for me this is just so automatic lol And then in the next minute you mentioned Fe users don't think about this rationally and that's just the way we are wired, and at times we wish we could turn this off 😂 Definitely! Also what you mentioned about alternating roles between more talkative or more listening, I always adjust myself automatically, I am fairly extroverted but in a context where everyone is too loud, I refrain from bringing even more noise to the table. But put me in an introverted group and I'll be much more lively, in a way to draw people out and stimulate their interactions. Spot on, as usual, mr. Nathan. Thank you!

Great video - really like the idea of MBTI not as a passive 'I'm this way and can't do anything about it' tool, and more of a 'what would XXXX do in this situation.' In other words, a toolbox of ways to deal with the world. You're definitely onto something here.

I'm an INFP and I feel like I'm really sensitive to the reactive Fe questions that you mentioned, but I'm powerless with the proactive Fe. I often get crowded out of conversations, it's like I lack the timing of when to jump in that everyone else seems to naturally have. It's really disheartening because most people seem to view me as very antisocial even though I love making meaningful connections.

Ah, to me ISTJ, it was Te + Fi = Fe. Functions can be combined that way, perceiving and judging functions pair can combine together and make the subconscious function in your stack.

This is my sister. As an INFP I've spent a lifetime NOT BEING ABLE TO UNDERSTAND HER! It's always been obvious to me how valuable she is to other people. I love my sister dearly, but cannot remotely relate to her. I would like to change this before we get any older. Your comment about under communicating with them robbing them of context gives me something to work with! Thank you.

Yey first!! ISFJ here, one of the types I don't usually see in your comment section :))) I love your stuff

I love how you express functions as skills. That's how I see it. I'm infp but highly value fe and have spent much of my life developing it. My preferred type of empathy is still imaginative, and fe is still exhausting, but I love using it in short bursts of activity. I like to think of a person's function stack as a shopping route. It's worth it to go the extra mile and pay a little more when you can afford to.

FE = a means to an end Best regards ENTJ 😆

Considering the functions as skills is a really neat angle! I feel like an awkward Fe person who often fails at socials.. On good days I do well though, so it really varies.

When I saw the thumbnail I thought about Fe - the symbol of Ferrum - Iron in the periodic table

INFJs know the future. Because we PLAN the future. So I'm at the department Christmas dinner dance soirée. I go myself but sit with my unit coworkers. After the ceremony and dinner, preplanned, I leave the table. I head to the bathroom, say hello to a few people, take a breather in the parking lot, and quick tour the facility. I COME BACK to the table. Twenty minutes later, I get up from the table, my coworkers thinking ... Ray that proven social butterfly. This time, I make a bee line for my car out in the lot. Bub-BYE! Gone.

I am an advocate of the dip out dip back in method. )I suppose in more ways than one...). But really, I use this to my advantage in social gatherings. If it's at my home I quietly go upstairs for a while and take a break or if I'm somewhere else I'll say I need to use the restroom or have to get something out of the car or whatever excuse I need depending on the tools at hand and the context. I can then feel at peace and recharge a little bit and then when I come back, I'm refreshed and everyone's happy.

Excellent video. As an INTP I've been working hard at emulating my ENFJ wife in social situations. It's like flexing a muscle and I definitely sense I'm getting much better at it. Se trickster still trips me up from time to time though. My INFP daughter has likewise been attempting to emulate an ESTJ she knows to get school work done and it's done wonders for her. My only warning is to keep things balanced. It's always possible to over-do things because of our trickster function. INFPs can get bossy and upset friends, INTP can come across as a push over... etc. It's always good to remind yourself of boundaries when exercising our weaker or less preferred functions.

great video! Like you said, being upfront and honest about your harshness or rudeness is a very good strategy (and also is doing Fe) this is something a lot of Fi users don't realize, but having Fe doesn't mean you're always polite and perfect: just that you'll notice it when you aren't

It is mighty video that every mbti interested person should watch

As an INFJ with strong Fe I also do the thing of suddenlly vanishing and reapearing. But when I reapear I'm super social. Sometimes at some point I go suddenly quiet and like to watch people having fun and there's this person with low Fe who asks me if I'm not having fun but I'm just introverted.

As an INTJ your channel is the only one I can watch and actually learn anything useful about mbti, bravo.

I love how you described the types as not only descriptive concepts, but also as tools. I’m excited to learn more and improve on all the functions!

The question is whether a person can actually _improve_ their cognitive functions. If you improve a skillset that people correlate with a function, then I'm skeptical whether you are actually improving you _functions_ . If you would compare functions with something like talents people naturally have, then you are not improving your _talent_ when you practise something. Rather you are just imprving a skillset that you are not talented in. So similarly by 'working on a function, you might just be learning a skillset. For example, If a high Ti user "works on their Fe" by creating some theory in their head about how Fe technically functions in a Ti manner, then they are still "doing Ti" even when it comes acrossas if they're "doing Fe"

INTP here - Disappearing temporarily to "recharge" was what lead me to picking up smoking and why it was so hard to quit. Smoking was (at one time) an acceptable reason to excuse yourself from any situation without fail or repercussion. I have been miserable ever since in social situations as result of quitting. What is odd is that my wife prefers that I smoke when we go out socially and I never thought about it until watching this video, but it is true about falling off the cliff when you run out of Fe. Going out for a smoke prevents the cliff effect. The drop is still there, but it is more gradual. Perhaps another reason for the concept that smoking to smokers, "takes the edge off".......literally.

Me an INTJ who constantly asks the questions from the beginning of the video, but who has ZERO idea on how to answer them. Is there an Fe-patch available?

INTJ here. Finally I am mature enough to understand how important FE is. Thank, Mr. Love Who.

So excited for this series!!!

I laughed so hard when you said "if you don't care about these things, watching a video about improving Fe is pointless" I was exposed.

"She would often talk about her husband, who isn't me, just for the records..." jajaja you were on fire in this video with the subtle humor😂

Brilliant approach, it is like emotional intelligence for a particular personality (i.e enfj, esfj) , so it'll be nice to know about eq for Ni INFJs

I don't have or want to have Fe but this was still interesting. Fe users I know often seem to consider it more of a burden instead of a positive function.

i need you to make Fi video about this after this video, because I can't tell the difference now 😭

Dipping in and out of convo never worked for me. When im gone, you wont see me for a month. The older i get the worse it gets. And since i stopped drinking long time ago, even being nice to people for 5 minutes when grocery shopping will drain me for the rest of the day. It used to bother me a lot. Cause i would give off this vibe that im better than other people. Which im not ofc. Nowadays i just stopped caring and accepted who i am. Got a few people around who kinda understand my weirdness so they just dont expect much from me in social settings. Life is good.

I feel like I (ENTP) have good Fe but then I see large blind spots in my reactive Fe in typical social interactions and not the best proactive Fe, at least not for the long run. So it makes me rethink my methods, but then I just go with the flow when I re-enter the social realm.

I have definitely had people describe me as a "ninja" before. lol.

INTP here, Ninja vanish is natural skill that I fell into.

"Social ninja" INTP here! I'll never reveal my secrets though 😜

I hate my Fe. Anyone wants it?

My dad and I have Fe in the middle of the stack. But since we have misaligned perception, what people are more likely to notice is exactly that. We are allergic to people bullshitting us and are quick to react to such circumstances. So, neither logic nor social cues will matter to us in this type of scenario. When decision making functions are misaligned, one is likely to see a different sort of reaction.

I think i learn social values in my dreams.... for some reason... some kind of Jung's collective unconscious savior function

I’ve resigned myself to warning people. I’m never invited anymore to family events. Literally… never… decades…

I'm pretty sure as an INTP I already ask literally all of these. If this is Fe, I'm not missing much. In fact, I think I include people more than Fe users do. It's more complex than this. It's the feelings that people feel as you talk to them. There's too much to take into account.

Thank you so much, I needed this... -INTJ

Ah, the joys of being a smoker (with reference to the ending part about dipping out from time to time from social interactions). Although with the wrong group, it ends up more socially demanding outside than inside.

Hi, would you please please make a video explaining the difference between judging and perceiving types? I really respect your analysis on mbti and would really like to learn about p vs j. Explanations on that topic from other mbti RU-vidrs and bloggers seemed a like it's not accurate

Emotions are deeply embedded within us ever since we were born, unlike logical and rational thinking. We're still instinctive, gut driven creatures. Those signals always have a meaning but until we harness them, they may lead us to the wrong direction and tear us apart. So the problem with feelings that are tuned to the external world is that it has a lot of power over us and it makes decisions for us, for better or worse. It flattens us out for the benefit of the group. We unwillingly depend on others for every step we take. It takes a lot of time and mind power to overcome those flaws and be authentic and rational. I don't know much about high Te drawbacks, but I know that Fe is quite rough and difficult against its user. A poisoned gift if you may. Unless you mostly use it for your own benefit.

Dude I've thought about it for a while. But now I'm convinced you are INTP

Thank you for the great explanation. Your insight inspires me greatly. I have Fe as my inferior function. I realized I have trained myself to ask all the five questions you mentioned automatically… using Ti and Se, probably. I never actually feel what others are feeling. I just understand. These days I even find myself in the position of unofficial therapist for people around me, which is rather unsettling… Because they say they feel their emotions are understood, and grateful for useful advice, but I am like, am I really ‘understanding’ this correctly? I feel like I am explaining what a flavor is without actually feeling the taste! So I have two questions: 1. Will I ever be able to ‘feel’ other people’s emotions, not just calculate the whole thing like an artificial intelligence? 2. Is there a way to teach myself to VALUE Fe? Because I know that I have only trained the skills in order to get along with people for getting things done. Deep down, I know I don’t really care since I don’t see Fe (not skills, but itself) as valuable at all - and that is my fundamental problem.

This is gold! Thank you

I love this series!!!

having Fe blindspot and Si demon… how can I even remember all of that information… I would have to be… out of my head for once 😞

The thing many of us here lack.

Entp gets sick of myself at times with fe .. sometimes radical honesty would be so nice..but I think it would start a purge .. my fe is so draining at times .

Excellent video, i've been recently doubting a lot about how matture i am, many times i thought that i had a inferior Fe, i've even asked myself how good i am as a person. Since many months back i came to the conclusion that i need to know myself but i always proocastinate and get distracted. Learning about mbti has helped me a little, the intp personality has so many characteristics that fit well with me and made realize the problems i have. However I wonder about how much reliable mbti is, i mean, how much is mbti scientifically proven. Could you talk about how was the investigation of mbti or at least the facts that back up how truthful is mbti in a future video? Or at least tell us some good sources where we can find that answer by ourselves. I'm sorry if my english sounds bad.

I'm an INTJ-T, and this function is supposedly the last one that my personality uses or develops according to theory, I think that growing up in an abusive household and having narcissistic parents made me more aware of the feelings of others but in a unhealthy way. I'm 26 now, in 5th year of psychology, and I feel like all I've learned in this career has made me more mature and in tune with my feelings in general, but also with other's, like, in a healthy way, as an example, if I see someone hurting, or mad, I don't feel super bad for them or scared of them because of noticing their emotional state, now I can choose whether I should invest myself in their experience and help them or just let them be, that didn't use to be the case, and I couldn't control or make use of my emotional awareness of others while I was growing up, but now I'm really good at it 😊 and I still consider myself an INTJ-T

i am an infj and when you said which kind of questions people with strong fe usually "ask" themselves intuitively, i almost lost it lol. i was like... so, there are people who DON'T do these things? who DON'T notice this stuff? wtf lmao hahahahah

"You can't say, 'I'm a bit offensive,' then proceed to roast everyone in your life indefinitely, although that would be hilarious." Why do I feel like Nathan has tried this? 😂 Really interesting! One of the best things I've learned is to be comfortable sitting/standing alone in a social gathering projecting confidence and contentment. I don't trip the Fe's "that person is alone, let me bring them in," or, "that person is unhappy, let me see what's wrong," or, "that person is killing the vibe, let me fix that." Instead they go, "That person is having a great time just chilling, it's all good," and don't seem to feel the need to engage. Occasionally I might have to reassure them that I am indeed engaged and enjoying myself. Works better than the leave-me-alone death stare 😂 and takes the same amount of energy. (I'm INFP.) I learned this by accident, mostly from observing an ESTP in social settings when their energy was low, who would literally be having a great time alone just chilling. Me: "How is no one bothering you???" ESTP: "Why would they bother me?" Me: ”Okay, THAT'S freaking genius." ✌️

Can you do Se next time?

Facts.

So where has Looann gone!?

Thank you!!! Please do about Te😊

Can you do Te next time? Love your videos by the way

Fe child here, martyr complex haha

What other ways to improve Fe do you think there are that he missed?

Wait, where's the video on how to _dial it back?_

Ok - to help me understand - if a type has 5th function Fe (infp ISFP) does this mean their Fe would be reactive and very little proactive, and so engaging with a person who is proactive Fe ends up being a sort of friendship which is lopsided - the proactive Fe user ends up starting the bulk of conversation and the ISFP/INFP ends up mostly responding? would that be how it would go? if so does that mean a friendship of proactive Fe to reactive Fe is a difficult one? Feels like the 1 person holding the friendship together?

Surely a simple way to duck in and out of these social situations is to be the guy who gets more drinks and pizza? Wouldn't this give you a positive connotation amongst the high Fe and Se users?

if i need 10 years of hard work to do something alone and 5 years to do it together with other ppl instead i choose the 10 years ..and that despite my 4 dimensional Te in socionics...cba with other ppl rly ;S

I'm a reactive Fe user (ISTP)

I have a question- if someone like me would prefer to stay still- observant and just analyze the other person in communication without expressing face much what does that make them????

Better question why have Fe when you could just not

Yes, hard to care. This is something I have had to learn as I've aged and CONSCIOUSLY employ. People and their stupid feelings sheesh! haha! -ISTP :P

I’m trying… so hard….

im so early omg

1:30 1:53 2:35 OK, so I already have reactive Fe, but not proactive Fe. 3:25 I don't see Fe doms (ESFJs and ENFJs) as adaptable. They're judgers with fixed mindsets. 5:50

Do a video on how to improve Ne

oh my god thank u

Benefits of being a smoker😅

Is it too stereotypical INTP to say I don't care about improving it 😆😆😆 I basically feel like I'm SUPPOSED to want to, but realistically I only want to because I feel that way.

I’m curious-does everyone actually have all 8 cognitive functions; a main stack (first 4) & shadow stack (other 4)?? Or do we just have a main stack of 4?? I’ve seen some claim we have all 8, & some claim we have 4. I’d like to believe everyone has all 8, but I’m looking for some clarification

ENTJ here. Fe. What's that? Seems useless.

As an INTP, yes I need to put an edge on my ninja skill 🥷