Jocko's voice always so calming. Everytime I get very little sleep and feel tired as shit, I now think, "I'm not going to be at my peak performance today" instead of "Im tired as shit and hate this job, I wish I could go to sleep."
I needed this. I have a 3 month old and it’s hard to maintain a regular workout schedule. I came to the realization that I won’t be hitting any PRs right now and that’s okay because getting stronger is not the #1 priority, my family is. If can maintain my strength during this time I would be so happy.
I just hit this stage in my life. This is excellent reaffirmation - I don’t have twins, but this newborn son of mine has certain asserted his schedule on my wife and I! Will definitely get it in where and when I can to keep healthy and active for my son!
It’s a struggle work out with little ones around at times, but it is such a privilege to get to share this part of my life with my kids. Get after it dad.
Great advice Jocko and Echo! I’m a father of a two year old and a 6 month old. Before they were born I told my wife I was going to workout but it was not going to cut into family time. Enter the 4 AM or midnight workout session. Not only does this let you train when the kids sleep, no one goes to the gym at this time. So I basically have a private gym but 4 hours of sleep a night is a slight bummer. Oh well. Get Some.
Having a new babe is a challenge for time. Family always comes first, for me finding 15 mins in the car park before or after work to hit push ups, squats and sit-ups makes sure I have a daily baseline. Creativity is absolutely key.
This is funny. I'm currently going thru this, and I find myself reacting like Jocko did. Training bjj and jkd is my escape (very importantto me), also do gym which I'm already sacrificing sleep by waking up at 430am. Training now feels like is a problem, I always get the feeling like my wife is always mad about it. The change that comes from having a child is very tough for a person that loves physical activity. Insane how similar my reaction is with Jocko
this resonates so much. it was tough with my newborn but i was lucky enough to have a home gym. still a struggle but probably wouldve been near impossible for me at a gym
Jocko, thank you for your guidance in leadership. Listening to these snippets help me continue the grind, especially when I feel weak. I wish I knew more people like you.
Had twins in May and have been struggling to workout. It’s because I’ve been waiting for a routing rather than just making it happen! Thanks for the advice fellas
Priced out a home gym a couple hours ago. I’m super close to buying the equipment... it’d be so nice to not have to drive 20+ minutes to fight people for a bar. Goodness, it sounds better each time I think about it! Realistically, I just need a rack, a bar, a bench, and weights. Not bad and nothing special.
Expecting our first baby boy in 5 weeks. I'm a guy that runs on a pretty strict schedule (training, work, reading, writing) so I'm dreading the lack of control over my time that comes with a newborn. I'm more nervous about adapting my life to an ever-evolving schedule on a daily basis than I am about any other aspect of parenting. Anyone got any dad advice for me?
Congratulations. Try to stick to your routine as much as you can. Make sure your kid has everything he needs but you will be feel the best (and therefore most able to raise your son) if you stick to your routine.
Baby comes first, your job comes second, your hobbies are last. It’s not about you anymore. You need to be willing to sacrifice things you used to do until you establish a new routine with your child, then you can slowly incorporate your old lifestyle. If you cannot compromise, do not have a kid, it’s not the child’s fault being born into uncommitted parents.
I am a mom and I am frustrated with not working out. My son is 3 months now and I can’t go to the gym, his sleep schedule is crazy, I have to wait for my husband to come home from work so I can go to work. I have no time to work out. I have weight I need to lose and build back my body. Sigh, now I gotta go look for equipments, thanks man.
Being dad is a hard work. Being dad who getting after it is insanity... Iam glad even Jocko was flightin it when he had young kids. I think that everyone who have them does... and will... its hard lesson for any male/female who got their ownership(direction) , but still (in my opinion) its best investment for the future hand to hand with investment in ourselves. Thanks for your thoughts Jocko&Echo 💪
Thats true! Just get something done at home or somewhere else. Dont aim for perfection. I still workout at home, when my child is asleep and I cant leave. When my little one was still falling asleep outside in a stroller, I used to take gym rings with me for an outdoor workout.
Small children are great as added weight for squats. And when they’re a little older, and they’re running around the playground, there are a ton of calisthenic exercises you can do using playground equipment.
We just had our third. That makes 3 kids under the age of 4 1/2 for us. Somehow I still get to bjj 2-3 times a week. I feel a bit selfish but I try to do everything I can to help my wife when I am home. Does anyone else have trouble getting to bjj with kids? How do you juggle family life/work/bjj?
I've got rings in the kitchen, paralletes by my desk, then remembered about my resistance bands which I will take up to my office. Can't go to the gym, so doing more greasing the groove style training for a while.
Project Kratos by Drew Baye is a great resource for working out anywhere, anytime. As a dad of a 4 month old and a 2 year old it was a great way to stay in decent shape.
I have three kids 4 2 and 4 months and I try to workout whenever possible...building a home gym took some time off but it’s time to get back into it...diet is more important that workouts when your kids are small
Haha. Good one. I adapted something I named Toddler PT. With a 5 year old song and being a single father I most def get some whenever there is an opportunity, like squats while waiting for the toast to be done. Kid having a bath? Cool. Enough time to get some push ups in or weightlifting. Def requires an ability to be modular.
@Colby Davis Ditto. Daughter is 5 and we do lots of swimming and running around. I am up early prior to taking her to school and working out when I can! It's a grind for is single dads. I have heard of that coffee need to check it out. I also find intermittent fasting (16 or 18 hours with a 6 to 8 hour eating window) provides lots of energy throughout the day.
@Colby Davis Got it on the IF. It has provided better mental clarity and even more energy for me but I get what you are trying to do. We have the same custody schedule (7 days on / off 50/50) with our little ones. I have just one who will be 6 shortly. Your at 4 so you are super busy and have to maximize the early mornings as best as possible.
@Colby DavisI had to fight in court to get that 50/50 schedule! I recommend setting the tone now prior to your kids entering kindergarten which will be soon. The schedule is 7 overnights for both parents with a mid week dinner on Wednesday for both parents during their non custodial week. Early morning around 4-430am is what I do and then if we have time after school we head to the Y to swim.
@Colby Davis Yes, well aware of the corruption and bias for men within Family Court. Find the right attorney to work with you on a strategy. Try to work on getting a 2-2-3 or 2-2-5 schedule in early on and have that time baked in. Also, push to get kids out of daycare or grandparents etc and into a education based program to show that school consistency. Then push for true 50/50 once child is 5 or 5 1/2 to six. I can talk more offline but you have to have a plan as the kids age and into school 50/50 for stability purposes is the ideal situation and provides consistency for the kids.
Mannnn, Jocko wasn't gettin it at the end. Not only was he not being the best husband he could be, but he was not being a very good father. These are just facts.
Respectfully I don't think Jocko is the best example to live by in this scenario. Ultimately respect your wife, respect your new role as a dad now, and fit in SHORT workouts whenever possible. Your fitness will not suffer in the long run, your relationships might though.
I’m not a fan of Jaco but this is outstanding advice. Working out is inherently a selfish pursuit. We should be doing it but it’s tough with a newborn. With sleep deprivation you don’t want to overdo it because you won’t be able to grow muscle. I like doing lunges, zone two cardio, pulling exercises to counter over stretching my back from holding the baby, snd various postural exercises like chin tucks and scapular retraction’s.
‘I have to work out or I will be a jerk’ -Which leadership principle does this line up with? Being a jerk in any case does not seem to be a good option. I struggle with this as well so am interested in hearing more on this.
001FirstRule there will be days that you are still up or being woken up at 4 am with your little one. Take Jocko’s advice to heart and just find time, it will be harder and won’t be perfect, but take what you can get. And enjoy every minute of your new life. Children are a blessing and I would never give up those hard times of a newborn.
Mine are not new born but i have a 7 yr old and a 3 yr old . i work 10 1/2 hours a day n still workout at home 6 days a week all i have is free weights
"The red flag of 'It sucks having kids...'" is such a true statement. I am a better mom and can deal when I get my workout in. If I don't, everyone suffers, haha
My wife and I just found out last week we are expecting twins. We have a son that will be 2 when they are born. One child was easy to get on a schedule and get my workouts in at 5am. Twins will be a challenge until they start sleeping through the night. Will have to squeeze in calisthenics when I can. Sadly, since I'll likely be the sole income on a tight budget during this time my BJJ training will have to stop for a while.
The transition to smokeless powder was bases on rifle cartridges, or pistol? Soldiers today carry both ammo, and smoke. A seasoned gunfighter and soldier like a Wild Bill Hickok, would have his skills, and methods defined, and more than fast, to survive the civil war. So in a CQB could one of these old blackpowder cowboys be effective, bobbin, and weaving out of the smoke?
I wonder which Jocko is worse: the “I-haven't-trained-yet“-Jocko or the “I'm-hangry“-Jocko. You promote to control your reaction to the basic need of food yet it seems like not being able to train or work out does a bigger number on your mood. Right?
Im going through this situation and was feeling like i was the most selfish guy in the world because i have to do my workouts... at least im not alone 😂
As much as Jocko dances around the fact that yeah he kinda did focus on his physicality rather than balancing it with children, if he was still a SEAL at the time, we're talking about someone who isn't just into fitness as a hobby. You step out onto the battlefield and your physical condition, your hand to hand combat effectiveness, and everything that goes into making you a SEAL is going to dictate whether or not you come home ALIVE or dead. So, as a woman, I appreciate that you can't let that slide. And I think most women don't understand exactly what they're signing up for when they're with a soldier. Especially one that excels to this degree at what they do. However, if you are in this situation and you've got all your boxes ticked in terms of training and you still choose not to spend time at home with the family, that's a bad thing. That being said ( ;p ) if fitness is your hobby, you do it because it keeps you healthy and you don't do it as a job or anything else...adjust. Your family and your kids are more important than you being in PEAK physical condition. You can moderately exercise and still be healthier and stronger than 70% of Americans. This is the situation where you can balance it and you should.
i take my son in a backpack for walks , its nearly a 20 kg pack , kid and gear , 5 kms is enough to get it done !!! that being said ,,, love your work boys . big thing for new dads , watch what you eat , its super easy to eat shit food , but you will pay for it .
