Learned this early in my marriage. I workout at 5am because it's only inconvenient to me. And the sacrifice makes me feel more like a leader. Happily married 26 years now.
Eric Arrow i as well noticed when I adjusted my workout to the morning, it doesn’t affect my families life. Like you said, only an inconvenience to myself
I'm going to give this a try. My morning routine was thrown out the window the day my wife moved in and I've been bummed about how out of shape I got and how out of control I've felt. Hopefully I can turn that round.
@@RAMB0VI Your family members might be weaker than you, but this is not an excuse to fall in the same habits. On the other hand, if they try to force it on you with manipulation or other stuff, you might need to put the foot in the door and have a serious talk about the direction of your marriage.
If I get to hang out with Jocko everyday I’d gush harder. I like how this is the take away u have on the video that u feel the need to comment though. Meanwhile the rest of us are thinking “man I gotta stop thinking so selfishly”, you are thinking another man is gushing.
@@fromobile9 he probably does respect all men who have accomplished things, he's very humble. But I agree, it'd be very hard to meet someone more accomplished than Jocko.
I get this with my family and very long time friends. No ambition or drive to do anything more than the bare minimum. Thats why i started waking up at 4am like you Jocko, get a large part of my day done before other people wake up.
@@djovani29 absolutely. My sleep schedule is awful, that's the truth. Always has been. On a good night I get to sleep around 9-10pm and sleep through the night. But that's very rare. Most of the time I go to sleep around midnight or I fall asleep at 9pm and wake up at 1am. I sleep in on the weekends and I often take a 1 hour nap in the afternoons. Which I don't mind, up at 3:45am Mon-Fri, I get so much done by noon that it feels ok to sleep for an hour or even 2 if I really feel I need it. I feel I have always struggled with insomnia, so the 8 hours a night thing was never for me.
Nice Joco you are 110% right, life is a learning lesson, and you break things down to a level of things should be done and the way life should be lived /Have to learn how to work with your pack aka family
I really needed to here this one, have to put myself in check. Edit: over 2 years later and absolutely crushing it, lead by example and suffer in silence. My wife seen this hard work and effort to lead our family and followed suit. Eating clean, working out, studying, and bettering ourselves as parents. Discipline really does equal freedom, get after it friends!!
Wow this is extremely good advice in my opinion. It's the essence of "ju" - the philosophy behind traditional Japanese jiu-jitsu and every martial art derived from it which states that you should use your opponent's energy against him by going with his flow - applied to relationships, thus "do what is in your partner's interest and you're gonna get your wishes - or transform your wishes to be in your partner's interest".
Good one! - I feel the same, don't tell people what to do. Tell what you want or need in any situation with a non forcefully approach. Lead and others will follow you naturally =)
“It might involve adjustments or attempts to get adjustments” I think the spirit or this question is less about blaming the family and more about how a bad person might attempt to get an adjustment or how to better attempt reaching alignment with your family.
Jocko, PLEASE get Robert Greene on your podcast. His knowledge of history, war, power, and human nature is second to none. The following books are life changing: 48 Laws of Power Mastery 33 Strategies of War 50th Law Laws of Human Nature The Art of Seduction
dang...…. I did learn this as well after trying to get them on the path. they are watching. you don't have to say as much as you feel like. you cat make someone want it. they can be shown the benefits of it though and take off themselves. keep them coming boys. GOOD.
I',m going to a psychologist in a few days for help with my tendency to not always be able to sleep deeply because when I do I will at times get nightmares or worse, night terrors. I have to gradually work on overcoming my anger issues.
awesome like the rest of your vids, thank you! in late 1980s, there was a dorky tv show called Major Dad. was about a Marine(?) who marries liberal reporter wife with three daughters, and the various familial hijinks that result. you may think it's dumb or get a few laughs out of it. tho yeah, it's part of why i say families sacrifice (in different way) as much as the soldier/sailor/airman who gets sent to wherever. not easy, which is part of what makes this vid so informative.
Willink- They called me Johhny Appleseed to make fun of how good I was at cleaning the bathroom after 7 you know the general "Agogi" age. Love your channel Sir. It's not only for us but those after and now. Those before matter. Any mention of favorite warriors in history? Hmm maybe single Routine oriented small unit Tactics? CQB readiness and maintenance routines. Combat Medical procedures, stalking, Bush craft ect.
Jocko, thank you for everything you’ve done to help better lives and also for you’re service. I had a question on this topic, how can I help maintain self control when I have family members who are addicts and have gotten constant help but they always got back and it’s never enough. Wondering if you have any intel for me. Thank you 🙏🏼
Holy shit jocko I’m laughing at the similarities you just said My father who we hate would work all day be gone for months still work then drop his stuff off grab his gym bag and leave. He was always angry always. when he got home from work we thought it was because he didn’t like it here (he was cheating) . Me and my mom describe it as walking on egg shells when ever he’s home because he’s a ticking time bomb angry guy and tbh I have no idea what for he had everything he ever needed house 2 nice cars and threw it all away for a younger girl
I have a problem and i wonder if anyone could help me if they have any experience, there is this sensational feeling in my mind that makes me want to bring something interesting with me to school the next day, to impress someone i don’t really know for no absolute reason, i believe it is some sort of mental feeling that makes me feel like it is interesting to other people but i keep telling myself that i should worry about what i need for myself and hence want to detach from having people in my mind that are unnecessary, does this at all make sense?
What to do if your family is very intense and stressed and affects you with this type of energy? I love my family but I live and work with them and it’s hard to disconnect myself from their picking and prodding.
Help them , show them that you empathise with their concerns. It's hard to do and totally against my own nature but it usually calms them down at least and it will help you feel less stressed.
It's really hard, but you can learn to do it with practice. You have to train yourself to acknowledge your emotions but not engage with them behaviorally: train to create distance between your emotions and your behavior and you'll learn that the more you struggle with them the worse they affect you. I think the best attitude is to treat every pick and prod as a test of your patience, and if you refuse to engage, you win. The greatest remedy to anger is delay.
Be away from your family. Work in your studio or rent an office space. No reason to be around people sucking your energy. They will also be much more pleasant to be around the less you see them.
I rather be single than tip toe around unmotivated people. My only family is my mom, and I tried the method they are describing. It sucks. When I choose my own family, motivation and similar schedules/hobbies is something I am going to look for in whatever I enter a relationship.
To the young Dads out there who want to do jiu jitsu but have little kids. Get the kids in jits build a friendship with the community and get your wife to see how supportive everyone is. Let your wife have a rest on the nights you guys go. Any mom will take this opportunity 🙂It takes a village to raise a child. If you can find a place that has a couple days a week where kids train along side the parents. That's your chance to get started but first help your kids get an understanding so it's like learning to ride a bike and the time comes for you to ride together. This is how my life is I have had a great time watching my kids grow and compete and for the last few yrs I have been training with them and it is the best time of the week. My wife is happy and likes having a meal ready for the troops (my daughter, son and I) on our return. We are all proud of the challenge we have completed. I didn't think of this it all happened in a beautiful way but you can make this a great way to show your kids your heart through pain and effort and you can show the love and understanding when the mats have been rough on them. We are all in this together family = team.
@@glitzandgratitude1170 have you considered the opinions of anyone outside your group of fathers? saying i have a shitty attitude because i have a different opinion than you and all your friends is a pretty shitty thing to think, my friend.
@@Chocolatnave123 families build our community. My professors kids are there and his wife is also a double black belt in Japanese and Brazilian. You do you, man. I was just trying to extend my life experience to others who needed a way to handle being a father, setting an example for our kids and families while pursuing more in life. I see guys like you at the gym all the time, doing it for themselves and have dreams of being a World beater and if thats the case great and good luck but you will always need fans and supporters and thats us. Maybe help the families from your experience rather than see them as little brats. Take care bud.
@08:18 just started #JiuJitsu a week ago, trained 6 days straight-only because they were closed on the 7th. My girlfriend made the same observation, there’s been a drastic change in temperament in a very short time.
Jocko.... I WEAR the Pants in my family! But my wife tells me which ones I can wear... :-) I love all your videos and Thank you Sir for giving us lessons to live by and to improve our lives!
This would not work with my wife all this navigating talk unless bjj had classes at nine pm or five in the morning. She works full time so I'm not sure how it would work
I’m afraid my partner will keep screwing up behind my back and the sons I’m trying to grow up as strong young morally good men will screwed up in the process. What do I do I’m afraid
Try to get on the same page, talk about what you both want for your kids and why. Also, there's no adult reason to be asking this in the youtube comment section so realize you are probably just as likely to screw your kids up.
I keep asking my 13 y/o daughter who's going to flush her crap down her toilet when she goes to College or into Military Basic Training!? ~ My wife wants me to quit eating garlic & go work-out at the YMCA more often...Yet when she goes there with a certain g/f guess what they do together? ~ Smoke a few cigarettes!! ~ Why should i quit eating GARLIC?!!?
Sure, no doubt...but bitches be crazy. In all seriousness though, some people are very low in agreeableness & are happy to lie around and have you make yourself a slave to them because why should they own anything if you'll own it all. There's a baseline presumption here of the other people being at all reasonable.
In my marriage, I expected a partnership... unfortunately, my wife expects something very different. Demands my attention. In other words, besides work...my time belongs to her and what I want doesn't matter. This has to change...
Difficult situation but remember what Jocko would say about ownership. At the end of the day, You are the one who controls Your actions. There is a book called Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud which really helped change my thinking in this area. I highly recommend it. Best of luck, sir!
Anything you don't like about a relationship is your fault. Take ownership. Set boundaries and show some self respect and she'll probably respect you more. Just do it righteously and always explain yourself logically. Set an example.
Lol mother teaches my kids depend on everyone but your self expect everyone owe you something and if you do not get what you want from one person you go to the next and appreciate nothing, and anyone that takes care of you , you treat like dirt,, guess what it didn't work out lol
He's just using cooking the chicken as an example of quid pro quo in a relationship. He seems pretty capable of doing just about everything, including cooking a few chicken breasts.
Excellent. If you were jewish and learned gemara you would make for a great rabbi... you would look kind of funny with the beard and black hat, though...then again🤔
