How to Let Go of Retroactive Jealousy and Your Partner's Past 

Its been 10 days. I didnt get any RJ thoughts. I suffered it for 2 years but after listening to ur advice of just feeling the anxiety. Im getting better. Thank you Matt... i was the guy who tried to commit suicide last month cz it was too much for me.. but im glad i didnt do any stupid shit.. i owe u one

praying for mental freedom someday. thank you!

This is gold for anyone who has a problem with jealousy!

Where did Matt go? I wanted to thank him. He’s the best of the big 3 that do this on RU-vid (Matt, Eva and Zachary). Matt’s the only one that does it with a smile and in a hopeful manner.

Hey Matt, it was a week ago from today when I found out that my first girlfriend, whom I have deep feelings for, has been around with guys I have known for years. We are both in High school, in our senior year and have been dating for two months. We moved fast and fell quickly for each-other and everything was perfect before I entertained my morbid curiosity and found out that she has done things with multiple guys. And because I have not had any similar experiences, I, like most people here, was crushed by a feeling I have never felt before, and that feeling was retroactive jealousy. I have been watching your videos and thinking about your advice daily, I refuse to be crushed about shit that does not matter, I refuse to let OCD conquer me, I refuse to let my primal instincts control me, and I refuse to let anybody stop me from living my life to its fullest potential. I thank you for creating these videos for people like me, and would like to assure you that they are life changing. I still have a ways to go, and I know I am setting myself up for a roller coaster ride when it comes to my feelings, but I am ready for them. I will be completely over this problem by Christmas and I have you to thank for that. Please continue to spread your advice and heal the injured souls that are created everyday. Thank you.

Thanks! I have moderate RJ, only pops up from time to time. But it got worse after health trauma… your videos have helped immensely!

I so hate the RJ eating me up rn. It’s years after stuff happened but it’s a lot of stuff to deal with, I cry most days.

as a successful but reserved, athletic, successful 20 something 40 years ago, I (an my friends) made an unpleasant discovery. While we were fit, presentable guys we all looked for the same type of girls/women, fit, presentable educated women to match us. The problem is that while we were almost never approached by women, out desired same age women were inundated with approaches from appropriate men(some 5 yrs older) and inevitably succumbed to their charms, had consensual sex, maybe broke up and eventually connected with us. Even a shy presentable women at 25 will have many more sexual opportunites than a shy presentablel men will, and thus more experience. I have seen that happen to many including me. It does lay trickes with your mind.

Thank you. Great advice for jealous people in general. Brilliant.

So glad I found your channel man, this has massively helped and probably something lads in particular don’t speak out enough on

just thank you man. much love. helped me a lot.

shiit, matt, you amazing, i found your vids 1month ago, i was suffer for 3 years and went to psychologists for 4 months, it not works very good, but with your vids i think i overcome this!!!!

Thanks for the video I’ll put the method into practice 🙂

Your literally saving my life

I've been really struggling with my gfs past and your videos are helping em overcome a lot of anxiety

I def agree with this, but it is a push and pull on the brain between Being Negative in that emotion or accepting it and being positive. Training your Brain to be accepting of Negative thinks that trigger you

Great to be back to the closet . I just started this book couple days ago, i like it so far, and its not written too complicated. Thanks matt. Not acting on those charged emotions is so key !

Thanks👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

Hey matt, thank you so much for all the hard work youre putting to this vids. Helps me a lot. I wanted to ask, is it possible to make a private session with you? On facetime/zoom or something like that? Thank you.

Thank you that really help me, after my last relationship that end because of my jealousy I thought I won't ever want any relationship but then I met a perfect women in my type and I just fall in love and then this problem came back and again it start destroying our relation but this time for her ans for me and maybe all other relations I will have in the future I want to get rid of this rationalizations resisting, to just let it go thought. Thank you very much 😃😃

Man this video got me hype af!! Ready to crush

I love you Matt Thanks For everything 😭

Dont be with someone whos past you dont like. Problem solved.

To mutch jealousy kills a good union

I just wanna be like you

this so helps. i understant but it so hard to control the brain,, maybe i need moretime!!

Been working so hard on not letting my partner know about it too much or reacting when they unintentionally bring up something I told them not to. I’m this close to jumping off a br****

I keep telling myself my situation is different, because I have a partner that was still communicating to these past men while we were together. And it would be a constant reminder of her past to me. Would I treat this the same? Or is my situation worse and I should not just dismiss as RJ?

Matt I've just recovered from bacterial meningitis, was hospitalized and it's like I'm back at the starting line with my RJ! Feel like all the work I've put in has come to naught! Your videos are my refuge...man I hate this condition...and knowing what I'm going through is not something unique is such a source of comfort in itself. God bless you 🙏❤️

Their is jealously anf then irrational jealousy

Gotta check out the coaching!? How much is it?

Hey! Me and my partner/ex have been having issues where he has Retroactive Jealousy, and I tried to help him and show him tips and stuff.. but he believes that this isn’t helpful, and thinks that his not the problem but that I am because of the past I have. He says that retroactive Jealousy isn’t a problem, it is how you are born and a personal personality.. and also that the reality of men and women is not the same.. because I am the receiver etc.. this is very weird for me because I’m not wired like him, my question to you is should I let him go? and maybe he gets this later in life, I’m thinking maybe it is a “personal growth” his been very stubborn and not even trying to change.. but he says that he really wants to be with me but he is in a big pain.. and wishes my past was different.. but not wanting to think differently abt the jealousy and anxiety. He gets offended sometimes and says it’s not jealousy but pain..

@matt stephenson me and gf were talking & flirting with each other i kissed her on her forehead but we weren't officially dating then . Before few days we started officially dating she kissed someone she told this to me after 2 months of relationship. Did she cheated on me or this is my retroactive jealousy. Why I get anxiety and overthink ?

My situation is a bit tricky (for me I guess). So my girlfriend is bisexual and had two male relationships and one female relationship. Turns out both male relationships were guys I just absolutely can't accept (they're both from a country my country just hates from the guts. I know it's not right to think that way but that's how it is). Then there is the girl relationship which I don't really mind, but I feel like no matter what I do, I can't compete with the female gender. Like how can I improve myself if she just starts liking girls again for some reason lol. I know I'm better than the two guys by a mile, but a girl is a girl 😅. Any advice for that?

Hi Matt, have you ever tried EFT (emotional freedom technique? For anxiety or discomfort?