how to make female friendships EASY [4 mindset shifts] 

Internalized misogynistic double standards at play basically🤦‍♀️

HOT TEA 🍵🔥🔥

Fr I've been this way, I just wanna have female friends

I have trauma from the female friendships I chose, but my parents were neglectful and I wasn’t looking for the right friends back then. A lot of shitty family dynamics make you search for the similar toxic personalities out of the home. But I always knew that my experiences had nothing to do with every woman out there. It was my choice to stay with those friendship back then. Women, with positive energies, make life better 1000%. That’s most women tbh

I know right ? Also, they give sooo much grace to what their toxic male friends do but as soon as their female friend slips up they remember their "high" standards. The double standard is real.

100% agree🤎

and female friendship is why women (usually) NEVER die alone. We will always have our sisters, cousins, and friends at our deathbed. Men who don't act like devoted fathers are usually alone at their deathbed. You need to check the demographic of unclaimed bodies for each states in the US. Most are men.

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Exactly

yes, you see all the japanese women in places like okinawa all getting together for a cup of jasmine tea and a board game and a chat. Ok they lived on fish beans cucumber but they look happy in their late 90s!

I don’t stress about any men being with me when I'll be old. I'll just hope my female friends stays with me. They are the ones who will keep me entertained more than anyone can

🤎🤎🤎

"Were"? Did they die?

Jk, I know what you mean.

@@persephone7708lol, everyone kind of moved after graduation :/

Exactly!! The girl who made the tik tok was so full of toxicity it was sad to see. Her body language even, was full of disgust towards women. No wonder she can't have friends, who'd want to be friends with her?

I used to say that as a teenager, but none of my male friends had any attraction to me because I was a complete tomboy. Sometimes, they forgot I was a girl, and I never had any issues with them. My issue is that I saw the girls that were abusive towards, bully to one up the other, so I thought every feminine girl was like that despite wanting to be having girl friends. I had a horrible relationship with my own mother, who probably contributed to the mindset because she criticized all women and put them down. It is different as you say now because I dress as I like, I actually miss dressing up like a tomboy because I can't have the male friends I used to have because sometimes you don't know if they are pretending to be your friends. It's so uncomfortable. Men are great friends... when both sizes have no attraction to each other, like you really are not his type or already have someone they really love.

Exactly

I mean yeah girls are more dramatic but dramatic isn’t always toxic. Sometimes girls are just dramatic because they’re passionate about their friendships. I actually managed to have a solid group of guy friends who I can be authentic around and I do probably have more of a funny easy going time with them, but when it comes to things that’s really matter like on a deeper level like those who are there to emotionally support you tough times, nurse you when you’re heaps drunk, and have your back when you’re dealing with drama, your girls are gonna be the ones to successfully pull through. It’s the same reason why guys are so desperate for female energy and only mature secure men can appreciate female friendships.

That absolutely used to be me. The internalized need for male validation was *real* I now value and prioritize my amazing girlies above all. They're my biggest cheerleaders and I'm theirs 💖

thisssss😳

I agree some of them are lazy af too. I hope it's not the same supervisor that left our department they all sound and act similar don't they? The moment he left they put a Karen to supervise our department and now all the girls are either being over scheduled or given two days a week. They probably saw that we were out working the boys and it did something to there egos so I started looking for a second job so they can't manipulate me like that anymore in order to compete with the boys you have to fight hard to keep your spots and sit on it even if they under schedule you. You also really have to stop worrying about your schedules and go take your vacation it will really mess with them because even if they under schedule you that's sometimes a good thing then on one of your days off buy beer and go home if they want to sit on the clock for 60 hours and barely stalk a shelf or wear deodarant then let them maybe they should force men to work and support these women now it might teach them a lesson about disrespecting people because a lot of them have been slacking off and just standing around smoking staring at all the women and calling them bitches for just trying to do they're jobs and go home.

I've worked in a mostly male office before and I agree! Guys say women are drama because of gossip. The guys I worked with also gossiped but there was also the ego and anger element added into it. Managers would yell and a couple of times, things were thrown off of desks, fists would pound on tables, the profanity would fly. They'd excuse it as "that's how guys communicate"... well, if that's how guys communicate then why was there so much turnover, stressed out employees and people not wanting to show up for work.

Lmao this is true! My boss tried to triangulate me and a pick me co-worker who he knew was jealous of me and would thus try to attack me verbally ON PURPOSE Why did he do all this? He did it simply because he was upset that he tried to flirt with me and I curved tf out of him!! Men be petty af! It really be giving high school drama petty when their egos get bruised 🙄😂😂

@eeze5683 I can't find it, but I remember there was a study regarding if men or women are more gossipy, and it concluded that both men and women *perceive* women to gossip more than men when it's actually closer to equal amongst both groups.

im 25 rn & this is giving me hope :"(

Hey! I'm 25 and friendless right now! Do you mind if you can go into detail about the changes that were happening in your life around that time?

I'm in my 30s and I'm still a loner due to being bullied by girls in school. I also just can't connect with a lot of women in my peer group. They want to always talk about dating and I'm a nerd into my poetry, comedy and new age stuff.

​@@EclecticECD 25 (soon to be 26) and lacking girl friends too! What was your secret?

I think I might be stuck being a lone female, since while I'm open to the idea of having a female friend - meeting the Jeane to my Bayonetta, or Dorothy/Rose/Blanche to my Sophia - I'm just not sure if it's possible for me. I seem to mostly attract back-stabbers in the worst case scenario, or otherwise just be stuck in the acquaintance zone with women who seem nice, who I could get along with, but aren't really that socially available... For me, it seems like there's no in between.

Having my first female sleepover at my place for spring break, it’ll be the four of us and no boys allowed 😂🎉

@@afrofaeries that's great! I'm so happy for you🤍

Did you hang out outside of the workplace, like on the weekends etc? It probably depends on the workplace, at my workplace a lot of people got married to each other. A lot. And there are also a lot of friendships.

@@FoundSheep-AN No, I literally only saw her at work. We did not even have each others phone number.

She might be one of those people who think a friend is everyone. They tend to think all classmates, schoolmates, coworkers, etc. are friends.

Noted!!!

yes, those labels are really just to be for your own benefit. having a mental catalogue of who is indeed a friend, and who is simply a friendly acquaintance is for your own peace of mind and guidance on how to act. there is generally no use in announcing it unless directly asked 💁‍♀

girl same

yeh, in the same boat, I can have female friendships but yet I don't because as much as I enjoy and value them, I can't acquire the skill to move friendly acquaintances in to the ''Friend'' role. And the first stage has to come first surely?

Please be in an abundance mindset because that may be one of the things to be holding you down. There's millions and millions of women out there for you waiting you just need to start and make the change within yourself. Scarcity mindsets are the biggest time wasters because all they do is just hold you back. Take your time improving and learning about your true self and yours girlies will come along to elevate you even more. Don't wait around for girlfriends to come change your life, make the change and your life will be as you desire. Much love and good luck with your journey ✨💕

Acquaintances don't need to become your only source of potential friendship, there's millions of ways to become friends with someone but it doesn't need to start from acquaintanceship. I made 1 of my close friends through a time where I was just living life in a foreign country in summer, she approached me saying that she loved my vibe and that I gave off "it girl" vibes and I was extremely happy at that compliment because I was truly so happy at that time eland enjoying my own company, once I found out we lived in the same home country only a city away from each other, we hit it off and became inseparable. We still reminisce on that day and we visit that country we first met in for memories and nostalgia. I have 2 more close friends and both our experiences were just as beautiful. I believe that once you secure yourself and enjoy your presence and your just radiating happiness because of your self confidence, your life will just be going exactly the way you desire. So in conclusion don't stress too much on how to make new friends, at the end of the day focus on yourself, learn more about yourself and everything will be cool! Much love and goodluck ✨💕

@@s.0007 thank you so much for this comment it really means a lot to me i will try my best bc my negative mindset has been a little too persistent lately !! :_: have a great day btw

I know what you mean. I often find that people are attracted to me just enough to talk once or twice but I just can’t seem to come off the way I feel inside of that makes sense. So I think I drive them away as I don’t communicate with my body language or words in a way that people can really understand what I’m getting at. I feel mutual interest in many people but I think they don’t feel their interest is reciprocated or it’s inconsistent. I throw people off I think because of this at least in part. I have been told I am basically “too much” by some people. I think people don’t want to deal with my complexity/inconsistency. I’m autistic

I'm sure there are plenty of other neurodivergent people looking for friendships. you have to put yourself out there in really uncomfortable ways sometimes, whether you're neurodivergent or not.

I feel the same way. I basically just go to work and the gym everyday and I hang out with a girlfriend like once a month max. And I call my mom on the phone everyday. That's basically my whole social life. I have no idea where to find friends

​@@sarahd9272 I was the same would just go to work and gym and talk to my sister. I've found joining women's social groups through Facebook, instagram or meetup and going to dinners or social walks helpful to build up social skills. Hope this helps and that you find your circle 🙂💫

This is dumb but try Bumble Friend

@@sarahd9272 I think your life sounds lovely! For attracting friendships, I think lots of sleep and meditation is key because good women are attracted (like, platonically) to women with relaxed energy and who can take things slow. I work on this myself in the hopes of making myself open and available for friendship.

@@audreyandrea460 that's a good insight. I think I really do need more sleep and rest for sure

I feel the same way

I relate to this so hard. The first time I actually had a girlfriend from work she ended up stabbing me in the back and I'm still hurt over it... I even defended her from literally creepers IRL at our food service job and was there for her whenever she needed me but never got that same consideration back

I'm in the same boat. I don't pursue men for friendship either, I just do my own thing now. I miss having women friends to laugh and chill with,but it seems like everyone I meet is trying to compete with me on some level, and it's just exhausting and sad.

Same

Same here 🔥😬💛

I'm very fortunate to have an older sister, a younger sister and a close circle of friends for the past 25 years! The Sisterhood is AWESOME!

I am so lonely.....

I’m noticing exactly this in all my male friends . I thought maybe I’m tripping but this comment to validates exactly how I’m feeling .

@@Goddess_Infinityim a guy. in my experience guys with "low consciousness" get emasculated easily. just avoid those people if possible

Such people lack depth and insight if they judge you for that

girl preachh

same. its just a struggle having to learn where to speak and join in group conversations and they'll tell me how fcking quiet and shy I am. making deep connections is even harder, when people tend to distance away from me after a while. that's how masking is ingrained in my own identity since I was a kid. I feel alone now more than ever, but at least I dont have to deal with the complications of talking with people lol

I’d recommend doing something like volunteering! I’ve made a couple friends through a volunteer group I’m in and they’re pretty cool 😁

Mum and sisters are enough as a female friendship! Especially the sisters cause you are close in age

I am going to guess based purely on my unscientific personal observation that your current female friends are pick-mes or pick-me-adjacent. When pick-mes say "women aren't your friends": it's projection.

Well said!

Same, I had to let a friendship dwindle. Once we were two strong single mothers who were building new lives. I got a job, I avoided my abusive x, but over the years, I felt frustrated by the number of times we were having the same conversations and eventually I realised she was still sleeping with her abusive x. I was BAFFLED. She unlike me had a university education and a masters in something fashionable, like environmental law, or sustainability! And yet she was so afraid that her x would stop paying the paltry 400 euro per month, she couldn't say no to him??? I got out there and earned (with no degree) 3000 euro per month so I could ignore my abusive x's demands. I do still think of her wit and her humour though. Argh, so sad.

Same here, it's so difficult to make friendships as a lot of women just want to be with a man, any man. If they are married, they only do things with their husbands, if they are not married/divorced they seem to be on the search for a new bf.

I had the same thing! Lifelong friend. We both got out of abusive relationships and I thought we had grown so much. She just carried on repeating the same patterns, coming around with the same problems and I felt like I was enabling madness.

You aren’t alone I feel the same 🤝

I also have social anxiety and burn out on interaction quickly and I have had great luck by doing hobby stuff with more general groups and then once you find a couple people you vibe with you make a private group chat to talk in and meet up outside the hobby group for not hobby things like getting lunch. Works really well!

Well, can you become part of any extracurricular groups with likeminded people? In high school I was on a sports team and made some very good friends through that. I think in general trying to narrow down the pool of people you’re around by filtering by interests and personality types is helpful. As an artist it’s really helpful for me to be around people who are passionate about art, a community of like minded people. But I will say it’s much harder in high school, at least it was for me than after high school. You don’t get to be around as much of a variety of people as you do after high school. So have hope, it’s easier in college (if you attend).

thank you for being here🤎

Agreed! Truly the Best❤🥂💃

thank you🤎🤎

Thats what i find too, if youre free spirited, off beat and you value your autonomy the packs are wack.

I was thinking the same thing!! Reading the comments on her videos I know we'd all be great friends 😊💖

Yes plzzzzzzzz!!

purrrrrr🤎

I'm so sorry this happened to you. It is true that it's sometimes hard to hold onto friendships from school. Even so, there's nothing wrong with presenting yourself in the way you like most.

@@ironeggsandham thank you for your feedback and i’m happy you’ve had better outcomes! I have lived many different places and made friends in many different ways and environments and have kept making friends like this, unfortunately. sadly, a lot of autistic women seem to experience this because some people assume you think you’re better than them, you’re a hater, or you’re fake because we can be very quiet and our mannerisms can be quite muted or very expressive, etc. however, I do have friends who are very open minded, selfless, and sure of themselves, and I love them so much for that. I absolutely think you’re right about needing to find a specific kind of person and hopefully I can get better at identifying them and avoiding the people who are not a good fit.