How To Make Your Partner Feel Loved 

“It hurts to much to be with you” that statement just hurt my soul. Uuuugh. Hard pill to swallow.

The end of the video when craig says whats going to happen when you stop giving ur woman attention and this is so true for me. i felt so bad after my boyfriend broke up with me i thought (maybe i was) i was being manipulative and controlling to him, but that was because he stopped showing interest in me. stopped giving me attention and preferred to spend time with other ppl than me. i started to feel neglected, i started to feel that im the only one giving and wanting to give love. although the way i was asking for the attention was with some ton of anger and less of a communication and a place of understanding. he was beating himself up everytime but nothing rly changed. he never did any communication from his side until he couldn’t take it.. im still not sure whether it was my behavior or his… probably both. im willing to try and repair, im doing alot of reflection. he said he wants to work on himself now and doesn’t want to get back together.. but maybe in the future he will he claims.

I would like to see how MEN Would answer those same questions. Craig, can you poll some guys and post a follow up video?

wish i could afford a session

If people would just say what they wanted instead of waiting for you to guess life would be grand.

“Emotional attunement and responsiveness is the key to secure boding.” 🤯🤠

Wow... I am speechless You just described how I was feeling and why in my relationship. I thought it was my fault. He was not there for me and his behavior triggered me. *hurt *disconnected *anxious *lost emotional self control *irrational behavior I was hurting!!!!

I wanna say that attachment theory saved my life. Since May, last year, every day that is passing by I feel that I am building an earned security style, recovering from co-dependence. :) I made the short intro to let everybody know that awerness is working. I feel more at peace and courageous, I become more confident and I see my value. Yesterday I discovered your videos, Craig, searching specific info on the topic of attachment trauma and I can't have enough of your talkings now.You are smart, a very well trained psychologist, well intetioned and funny.:)))) Now.. I am in this process of being very attentive towards how a healty relationship should look like. :)) Myahhh, I know, it might be funny for the secured ones, but for some of us this idea of what is normal to expect and to desire was so invisible or maybe it still is for others.:) I will also do this exercise for myself for sure. So, thank you so much for your work, Craig.💙 I wish you and to everyone here good luck and of course, the love you deserve.

This completes Workbook 1. What a fantastic resource Craig!! Reading and answering the questions, I had to replay each video 6-7 times in stop/start mode. I have seen them all before, but never got how to retain and understand the full implications of all the work you put into them. Thank you. And onto Workbook 2 !!

You guys are SO generous putting all these videos. I watch them religiously. Thank you.

She wants him to join her in how she feels. She wants him to express what it is she is feeling. Yes connection. It's different then a man experience it

This calmed my anxiety down a lot. It made me realise I wasn't the only one to blame in the relationship ending. Thanks Craig!

This video makes a lot of sense. My ex never had emotional responsiveness. She was an avoidant and preferred not to talk about her feelings directly with me, she would do the avoidant response to shut down and push me away. She would make big things out of little things.

I just completed your first workbook coach. The perspectives from different women with those questions helped a lot too!

Coach Craig, great video. Women are so different from men when it comes to relationships. I really screwed up mine but I still have a chance with her. I did some things right, but by accident and now I see what I did right and wrong thanks to this video and others. I want to be there for her but I was thinking more for helping her than for listening and she is very independent and avoident attachment style. I hope I can be better and save this relationship. She says she will be coming to see me when she returns from her trip, I'm hoping this is the case, but I am now giving her more space and I hope she will notice. We broke up 4 times and after watching your videos I know now how I screwed up. I thought it was her, but it was me and my anxious attachment style. Thank you for the help!!

This describes my 3 years of relationship. He gaslighted me, he didn’t know how to deal with my emotions. I became I can’t share my feelings anymore, so I became passive aggressive towards him. He created assumptions about me, then he doesn’t accept my perspective. Whenever I brought up something to improve, he spoke much louder and dismissed. It was really hard for me, but he broke up with me before our first time planned trip to overseas for our friend’s wedding. We continued separately

Omg. You get it. Your response after her letter was right on. You got her.

This makes lots of real sense. I like the idea that relationships are a Fox Hole and that we need a set of rules to go by so we are looking our for each other. I have never had anyone looking out for me, so NEXT TIME I will NOT be getting together with someone like my family of origin. That would be a BIG MISTAKE!

Love your videos Craig. While my ex didn’t come back these videos are helping me to try and correct some of the destructive behaviours I have that have impacted my previous relationships.

The ladies would really love to know mens answers to these questions!

This is Great! I love it. This is sooooo important. I've failed so many times in this area because I simply didn't know what to do to please a woman and maintain a long and loving relationship. I couldn't get past the sexual part to make it last. Now, finally I'm in a good place in my life where I CAN make a difference in my personal relationships. I'm much older now but I'm not dead yet. :) Thank you very much, Craig, for all of this. :)

Craig, I thank you so much for these workbooks! I'm just finishing up the first one, and I've learned quite a bit. I just wish I could've applied this knowledge to my previous relationship. (Actually all of my relationships lol) I had no idea about attachment styles & this last section of "how to make your partner feel loved " really opened my eyes on how I can show up more in a relationship. My girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me 3 months ago & I immediately went no contact. 3 weeks ago she reached out with "Hope I'm doing well," & it seemed she missed me, but I don't know. I'll continue to do these workbooks so that I can better myself, whether it's with her or my future relationship.

I always find myself coming back to your videos Craig for all aspects of my life

Can you make the same video based on same questions answered by men?? Amazing work Craig!

I’m going to watch this video often so I can make sure I can be a better partner in my next relationship. It really makes me realise the mistakes I made before and why my ex partner felt that the relationship wasn’t going to work for her.

Hi Coach Craig very amazing Video , how to make your Partner feel Love , lots of words educational and put into practice to embrace a lasting and happy relationship . I suggest guys to stop the dumping watch it over and over again ...,,so that fearless and pain free ....

Definitely food for thought. Appreciate the insight. Hope your lady friends are able to get their boyfriends to hear what they're saying. Maybe do a follow-up video on that. Could be good for all of us to see how their needs were met, or not met.

First everything was nice and breezy, then I started casually criticising her behaviour, she listened and tried to change. Then small staff became regular complains, so she became irritated and distanced then I was upset with her behaviour so I became harder to deal with (up until that point I thought I’m doing the right thing) until she pulled away, broke up with me and now I’m devastated and alone. As Margaret always says, “it’s okay if you made mistakes. It’s not okay if you don’t do anything about it” so I’m here, listening to this video for the second time and taking notes. Every fibre of my body want her back but I’m trying not to say that because that’s selfish.

Fantastic video! Thank you Craig!

Geez. Its so easy once you start listening to these videos. Wish I knew this sooner, but, better late than never.

this one is so good, I feel like it needs a repost

Excellent video! I totally agree as a woman it’s so important to know our partners are there for us and loved how you explained otherwise how it makes us feel unsafe. 💕

Yes, taking my side is really important. I feel like I NEVER got this from my past partner.

This video makes a lot of sense. My ex never had emotional responsiveness or attunement. She was an avoidant and preferred not to talk about her feelings directly with me, not just because she didn't know how but because she didn't want to hurt me. It's healthy to talk about that stuff. But a secure bonding is necessary for this to work out properly. I also wish I could afford a session lol. Take care!

Wow, I definitely was acting A LOT like him towards the end of my relationship and can see why she withdrew and called an end to everything. In NC for over 2 weeks now and all your videos have helped me so much Craig! Looking forward to our Skype Session on the 3rd!

Wow! The last few minutes of this video hit home for me as a woman. This is exactly what I felt with my guy the last few months of our relationship. We became on again and off again because he kept breaking up with me. After the 4th time my separation anxiety got the best of me and I lost total emotional control. I’m in no contact now contemplating if I even want to try again after working and continuing to work on myself. It’s been almost 2 months since the breakup….but we went 1 month prior to that and 3 weeks prior to that. I’m currently looking deep into myself to see if I want to be in a relationship with an avoidant. I’m so unhappy after over 1 year of bliss 😢

Craig is that man. I def use some of his stuff w ours.

Both men and women need this men have wants 8n a relationship as well!

I really relate big time to the girl's email lol I liked her a lot but she was so damn distant and I constantly felt like I wasn't a big enough priority. Hard to keep feelings for them in this situation even though I still loved her.

This video is full of important points on how to communicate with your partner and make them feel heard and supported. I highly recommend watching it multiple times to get the most out of it. I’ve watched it several times and come back to it as a refresher. The “knowledge” shared in this video takes practice and repetition to make it part of how we appear better in our relationships.

Something similar was happening to my relationship and after that he decided he needed some space to figure out if he was with me just because he was used to it or if he really wanted to be with me, he said he was not giving the 100% but I was also not giving it and that happened the 6th of February and I have been doing the no contact for only two weeks. The first to I was desperate and called him, and it was terrible he said he didn't want a relationship with me anymore. The I decided to give him the space he needs. A friend came across him today and she said he is doing good, and now I'm crying without knowing what to do. I would love to call him but I know that is not gonna work.

Love this🥇So true 💗

Great job

Fabulous video! I purchased the first Knowledge Workbook Vol 1-5 so I will now answer the questions. XO

Craig im doing my best i can but keep having little slips ups of anxiety split sec ones your supposed to tell your partner how you feel but i guesss not one you think just being anxious

Your videos are so good amazing

This whole thing sounds a little self-absorbed. This guy needs to sit and LISTEN...don't say a word unless she asks for advice. However, her need must be communicated in a different way. Exactly!!! "I need to talk to you about something important.." if he blows you off again...time to reconsider things. All in all...this sounds like a common benign issue with communication. If how you're communicating isn't working...you need to find an alternative means to broker that bid for contact.

Thank you for this great advice

I believe theres nothing wrong with being jealous about your partner to a degree. A healthy jealousy . Such as if a partner would be overly interested in another by increasingly talking and spending time around another person. Not the watch every move you make and controlling jealousy.

Good video. Verry helpful. You are great Craig. I am asking how meny mens listing you and learning from your videos

My bf needs to hear this. When I get mad ab somethin he gets mad too! Instead of asking me ‘ what’s wrong baby?” if I ignore him his going to ignore me too. When I ask him why are u ignoring me he’ll say “I thought u need space so I didn’t bother u or something” like OMG

I'll take all the above.

Great video Craig! Is this wrong? Some of my massive background story first. You could probably do 100 videos on our relationship. My Gf of 6 months broke up with me and we were madly in love. I may have been a lighter smothering or jealous just a few times as I have an anxious attachment style and now after seeing your video think she’s semi avoidant as she had a rough childhood. Our breakup blind sided me and crushed me. I “chased” her for 8 months now talking and getting together here and there before finding out about doing no contact which after 4 days she then reached out and we hooked up again but I probably was a little over the top, or smothering. She’s always said she just doesn’t want the responsibility of a relationship or have to answer to anyone. Also said she was sick of always giving. This I believe is in reference to issues she’s had with one of her sons. So after finding your attachment styles and communication video and your They have an avoidant attachment style. I sent link to those with her with some comments that I’ve been working on my personal growth and relationships. And basically told her nicely she should see a counselor to talk to someone about her childhood. She really didn’t reply much. Nothing about that. I’ve told her I love her and want to be with her and if she changes her mind maybe we will see. I’m back in no contact for 4 days now again. It gets easier. I think I’ve blown it and just ok with it now. Should I have tried to help her with her personal growth by sending her those videos because if we ever get back together I don’t want her being in the same place she was that could of caused us to break up. Sorry for the long comment. I see no other contact method.

Is there still a chance if this happens? We did not have good communication because he doesn't really tells me his feelings unless it is good or happy. He is posting bitter things online and making sad comments about love. I don't know how should I handle him if we ever get back. Its been 3mos and he started posting things like that for a month now. He is still single so am I.

this is a mistake I've made, like you mentioned we try fix things and thats what I did, didn't go so well. I've been trying to make some big changes and have bought a book called attached which I find very interesting.

My ex hurt me emotionally so much without realizing it and we often got into fights. I knew he loved me but he didn't make me feel loved because he was not aware of how to love me... Or at least try to know how to do so. Was this even possible? I lost emotional self control a lot of times and couldn't trust him fully. I couldn't let him go because I wanted to be with him, I already envisioned future with him, I believed we can still make it together. However, as it has not been resolved, I acted crazy and needy eventually without being aware of it. Turns out, he was preparing to get himself out of the relationship. He dumped me instead. It's sad and devastating as it was my first relationship, the first man I fell in love with. I'm moving on for months now.

Thanks Craig👍

Guilty: I hear a problem, my instinct is to fix it. I have a really hard time with empathy, but I'm working on it. Thanks.

Nice video and advice👍🏼👍🏼

Your a Legend Craig

Don't worry baby. I won't let you fall. Love it

can there be male version - what makes a man feel loved?

The guy from the email remembers me of myself. Have been towards my wife the same for the last half year of the relationship. Then she dumped me. What can I do to get her back? Already had a phase of 5 weeks no contact. Then she reached out and we met. But I guess I have been to needy. Now 4 weeks went by again with no contact. Should I contact her? Is "no contact" even the right tool? I mean in the end she left, because I didn't pay enough attention to her at the first place.

This seems to be a video for men, how to make women feel loved. Is there a similar video for women or do the same principles apply?

Work books, yesss.😁

Men must be perfect all the time

Do these questions pertain to young 22 year old women?

men we are freaking dumb , my ex came to me many times with all this and I was like huh? 6 yrs later and she's gone now, is she coming back? I don't see it happening, but boy I look back and women makes us look so lost and slow lol

Do something on disorganized attachment.

I wish you focused more on how men would like to be treated by women.

My guy has a need for time alone. Says it must be 'I' before it can be 'we'. What do you believe this means? Says he is moody. And I won't understand his kind of personality and currentlyvhe doesn't have a need for intimacy.

Hey Craig my ex broke up with me for not being there for her emotionally and she has repeatedly told me that she need that. It been 3 weeks that we have broke up. We have been together for 12 years and have 2 children together and I help her raise her 15 year old daughter. I need ur help to get her back. I tolded her I sorry and that I want to work things out. But she told me this. I understand and I'm sorry about everything but mentally and emotional im exhausted and I have nothing left to give. Like I said before I want us to get along for the kids I got nothing but love for you I really do. But I can't keep lying to my self any more, so this weekend we can talk about how we will handle things with the kids in a civil manner but be respectful to one another. If there is one thing about me Willie and I alejas told you once im mentally checked out of something for me there is no going back no matter how much it hurts . Please Craig help me get the women that I love.

I would really love too show a woman how to make her feel loved Sadly I don’t think I’m ever going too be so lucky 😩 I’m trying my best too find someone here in Australia But I’m having no luck I keep hitting rd blocks and rejection This is why I’m hanging on too my Ex 14 months later after the break up 😔 I feel Like I’m the most unwanted man on earth 🌏

Is it appropriate if I ask these questions directly to my partner? 😅

Hey guys I‘ve got the problem that my girl has/ is pulling away because I apperiantly don’t give her enough attention when we‘re not together. I told her that I of course do care but now in that stage of uncertainty I got the urge to bombard her with attention and affection but she‘s turned off at the moment. Do I still pull away even if that was the problem in the first place? I‘m confused as to how to deal with the situation...

make more good videos🤗🤗😝

👍👍👍👍👍

My BF is an insecure attacher. He occasionally makes me feel loved but he's not brave enough to love me. I won't tolerate it. I'm biding my time. I love him. I know deep down he loves me as much as he can right now but I deserve someone who's just going to love me period. It's not a tap you turn on and off. It's 18 months. He told me in August last that he loved me and never again. He slips in and out of love. He's the right person at the wrong time. I've known it for months and I'm just putting off breaking my own heart when I say goodbye.

Answer for males.

It can be very difficult to ask for what you need. Ugh

What about what he wants

Atonement.

Just talk to your girlfriends if you just want to talk, and you don't want to have a dialogue and find a solution.

How about hurrying through the conversation. Saying what he thinks she wants to hear. It's not the same each time. Or cutting her off. Saying I know what your going to say. He doesn't get why we keep having the same conversation. Why can't I just let things go

I'm the last girl.

My partner is going through a lot and she broke up with me. I have an avoident style and she does too a little bit. I am doing the no contact and she reaches out. I keep it short and brief and eventually will set my boundaries

Aren't you needy if you tell them what you need?

Lord...why didn't I see this??? Everything is "after a break up" like fuck my life....i did all of those but just needed to fix my issue of bringing in her past. However, she wouldn't even want to have a communication to fix it though. Also of I couldn't hear her while I was driving on the high way she would yell...and my little brother has to hear it..

Feel useless. I was unable to fulfill most of those needs.

Women really have reverse psychology🔄