How to Say No to People (and Protect Our Yes!) Feat. ADHD People Pleasers 

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A co worker of mine once decided to start walking every day, before going out for the evening. She said at first when people invited her out before her walk, they were upset to get turned down, but after a while, "let's go to Mikes place, oh come on, you can walk after" turned into "have you had your walk yet?"

If it’s hard to say “no”, try saying “I’m at capacity”. It’s totally a cringey business world saying but it gets the point across quickly and efficiently.

How convenient that this video comes available right as I’m considering skipping lunch to get through more of my work day even though I did that yesterday and crashed pretty hard. Now I ate lunch, drank some water, and feel MUCH better! Thanks guys! 😇

"Other people's emotions are not my responsibility" is a really difficult lesson I am teaching myself at 25. They can feel however they feel and there is nothing I can or should try to do about their feelings. I can change my behavior, but that should be based a boundary of theirs, not based on me adhering to my own boundaries. I used to skip on bedtime routines for years, which also meant skipping on morning routines. I would stay up talking to friends whose schedules are later than mine, because I wanted to spend time with them and I didn't want to ask them to be flexible, seeing it as an imposition instead of a boundary. So I sacrificed sleep for other people for years. Now, it's "I have to go at ten/I need you to leave by ten" or whatever time I need to leave by to get good sleep. And if it disappoints people, it disappoints people. Other people's emotions are not my responsibility. Anyone who is really going to be a good friend to me will respect boundaries like that and find a way that also respects their boundaries to make things work.

“Not now is just future now and future me is still me.” Omg the insight that gave. i heard it on repeat 10 times. It sounds so easy and obvious, but it is not. I really needed to hear that. Thank you.

I had to practice my “saying no” responses. It felt silly at first, but when it came time to actually say no, I was prepared and avoided defaulting to “yes”. 10/10 would recommend!

recently i was helping with an event at school and they asked me to help with something in addition to what i was helping with already. i looked at my schedule and realized i couldn't do both so i asked which one was more important. i was so proud of myself for not overworking myself but i still need reminders sometimes. thanks for this video :)

This is something I've been working on in therapy after being a people pleaser for most of my life! Now I'm focusing more on myself for a change!😊

I can't believe this video came out RIGHT NOW. Like, you've helped me through many a crisis, but with this one, your timing in impeccable. I was crying last night about being overwhelmed and about friends making me feel bad because I can't handle the things they can, and this couldn't have come out at a better time. As always, it is a joy to watch your content.

I actually clicked like mainly because you said “or don’t. Because you’re allowed to say no.” People have always used guilt to get me to say yes even after I’ve said no because they knew it would work on me. And the consolation commitment is real!! I always do that to the most extreme. It’s quite sad.

I people pleased most of my life until I ended up broke divorced and earning minimum wage at 33. Now at 40, I still consider myself a recovering people pleaser. The struggle is real! 😬

Just wanna say - you’re amazing You’ve offered me more valuable insight into my 8 year old sons ADHD - you have had a meaningful and positive impact on my understanding of him - which has brought so much to our relationship in general When and if you can upload - It will always put a smile on my face, thank you 😊

I was diagnosed with ADHD (inattentive type) and ASD only very recently after a lifetime of wondering what was "wrong" with me. My psychiatrist wrote your channel name on a piece of paper and told me to watch you! Thank you for creating so much useful, insightful and just plain amazing content. The diagnoses was not really a shock, more of a AHA! Moment and your channel is really helping me a lot!

There are definitely moments where I say yes too easy, but sometimes I say no too easy too. When people are being spontaneous and ask me to join them, I tend to get very torn between wanting to and not being sure I do, and I end up just picking the most passive option and usually do not go with them. My body is less hyperactive than my brain, and when people make sudden plans and invite me I am overwhelmed by my thoughts. I can't just expect people to always tell me in advance though, even if I'd like them too, cause they may not have known before then anyway. I end up not doing things and regretting it.

When I bought my car a few years ago, I remember the salesperson trying to sell me on gap insurance. I kept 'basically' saying no, but being a people pleaser, I was also pretending that I wanted to hear more info (even though I already knew what it was and its benefits). This went on for about 45 minutes before I eventually had to just be like "No, I really don't want it" Even that made me feel bad lol

And the most important thing to remember, saying no doesn't mean your a bad person. There are a million different responsibilities in life, you don't have to bear them all or at the same time.

that "will i do this tomorrow" thing is so good! omg. that's perfect for me. and "its ok for someone to be disappointed" is really what I need to hear. i can't handle when I think someone has a negative feeling towards me. I'm working on being ok with that though, because people can have those feelings but that doesn't mean they define you that way. its not an all or nothing thing. ah its hard, but I can do it. i can change my unhelpful thinking

I just want to say thank to every single brain and heart that loves this channel. I was finally diagnosed as combined type ADHD yesterday at 44 years old and it is because of this channel and every single one of you. So thank you everyone xx

'Despite what your brain tells you we cannot do all the things' I'm taking that with me because I've gotten actual panic attacks over saying no then immediately realising that it's not something I can actually commit to. This channel really helps me a lot with recognizing some of the ways I haven't been prioritizing myself and this video was just another (and extremely timely) reminder that's it's okay to say No. Thank you for that 💕

Thank you so much for this! I have a really hard time saying no because I don't want to disappoint anyone or hurt their feelings. But now I realize that I don't have to feel bad for setting healthy boundaries and it's okay to say no.

"Let me see what I can do" has been soooo helpful...and when asking, i try and add when No is an okay answer, (literally that phrase) and it's made things much easier, cuz other people seem to eventually also slip into that for me

All my life I struggled with this. I would just burnout or fell ill to not deal with the "no" that I should have said. I'm on a burnout again, but more informed now and trying to get better. Thank you as always 💖

I truly cannot express the importance of this in the workplace when bosses get too used to you saying yes you end up doing everything and you have no option in the matter establish boundaries off the bat

I am currently in a lot of different projects at the same time and I brought a lot of this on myself because of being unable to say no. Right now there is no way I can cut back but after watching this, I will surely try it to maintain a healthier workload.

THIS VIDEO IS LITERALLY WHAT I NEEDED TODAY! I was literally talking about this to my friend at 3am last night, trying to figure out how to fix it...

"Not now is just future now". I love that!

I’ve been practicing this in a simple way. I have a short beard but my mom dislikes facial hair and prefers me clean shaven, even when my younger brother has a full one. So I say that I’m not shaving it off nicely and that I prefer having it every time she indicates she wants me to be shave it off. I do this because I was heavy people pleaser when I was younger and I still can’t help it sometimes.

"Future you is still you, and not now is future now". This is such an important, effective statement. It also sounds very much like something troy from community seasons 1-3 would say and I'm very here for it cuz troy and abed were the neurodiverse highlights of the show and we needed more than we got so I'll never forget it.

Just got my ADHD diagnosed after a decade and a half of struggling for no apparent reason, I’m hopeful that I can get medication at some point. But I really want to thank you because you are part of the reason I felt validated enough to actually get help!

A huge thing that my therapist taught me is that 1. Boundaries = Self love. If you do not love yourself, it will be harder to make boundaries, I/E, say no. 2. To ask yourself what has power over you and your decisions? Will saying yes make you beholden to this in a way you will be resentful of because your power is misplaced? 3. If you are feeling overwhelmed, let go of extra obligations. (There was a good video on this channel about asking yourself "What will happen if I 'don't' get this done, and if the answer is nothing? Then let it go) If you let go of extra obligations, you will have more room to do things you love; more room to say "yes"

This is sooooo important, the amount of times I've said yes to things I don't have time for and become overwhelmed

My therapist says “you’re only responsible for what’s on your side of the fence”

My Schedule: "Do school work" Me: **shouts in aggression**

"Not now is just future now", spoken like a true Zen Master.

Even after therapy I still have a hard time with this. People that are use to hearing yes all the time, can’t stand being told no. I realize that it’s not my issue. Is it hard? Yes, but at some point you have to choose you.

This video helped me think about saying no to my own expectations of what my life should look like right now. Today, I've been re-working my to-do program (I'm a coder, and I'm building a system that helps me stay on top of repeating tasks), and I realized that one of the issues is that I have a million repeating tasks that I'd *like* to do habitually, but that I never actually do. I don't write letters every week, deep clean every Tuesday, do my makeup every morning, or clean my car every month. Having these things on my list can make me feel like I haven't done much, even though I have, because there's so much left.

This is such a struggle for me. My mom also has ADHD and uses my ADHD against me to try and get more done. I’m sure you see where this lands is most of the time. I am definitely going to try and model this behavior.

“Explaining our reasoning gives them a chance to argue with our reasoning.” Dropping absolute bombs on us. That’s why I’m subscribed.

I needed this years ago! Thankful you’re able to give practical solutions along with the info of “why” we respond a particular way. 🥰

oh MAN was this topical. I finally said no to something actually kind of big last month and the part about maybe having to repeat your no was exactly what happened! I'm glad I was able to step away from that situation.

I just found this channel and along with the general topic(s) of the channel that I really like, I love how the editing is done. Most things where it's just someone talking, I get too distracted to actually watch it. With the small zoom ins or you going to different sides of the screen, along with the fun informational pictures (and the speed of your voice lol) it's easy to stay engaged in these videos, thanks!

“…and not now, is just future now.” Brilliant. I’ll try to keep that one in mind.

the car fee thing, has been dunned the "ADHD tax". its when you incur extra fees and fines because of executive dysfunction.

I don't do New Year's resolutions but this year I made it a priority to say no more often. No new projects, no new recurring commitments or subscriptions, no spending money on something that wasn't my choice either planned or in the moment even if I did sign up for your course information, and most recently to allow myself to cancel something - appointments or tasks without feeling guilty about it - no consolation prize. I'm sorry I already have a commitment then. They don't need to know it's to lay on my back, laze around, and play video games for an hour to decompress and restore my mental health or just to put my house back in order so I can function tomorrow.

Great video! I don't personally deal with ADHD but I find myself struggling with these same things. I appreciate your humor and love your content. -Sarah

Idk If you are going to see this but I want you to know that you have helped me so much in excepting myself and being more patient and understanding how my brain works and I just wanted to thank you for being one of the only people that gets me!!!

This is my problem as I am 45 and only learned I had ADHD last Year. But... The Doctors Diagnosed it when I was a Child and no one told me. 01:55 My Mind: "Put it in a Video to remember..." Also My Mind: "Now, which video was it...?" My Mind Again: "What was I looking for in a Video...?" Followed closely by: "The Dreaded Rabbit Hole of Thoughts"

We don't owe someone a consolation prize just because we can't give them a yes. Shit, this was one of the best things I've ever heard, because I always did. If I couldn't work extra on Wednesday I definitely would on Friday because of this reason. Pushing myself far over my limits (I did exact this last week, perfect timing)

Hi Jess..I just want to say thank you for making all of us feel happy and safe

I have found a great way to deal with people who don't take no for an answer, especially when they are giving unsolicited advice. Instead of repeating myself, I'll say "I'll keep it in mind", or "I'll think about it, or something similar depending on the situation. Very often people just want to feel like they've been heard. Another great way to not giving an immediate answer is asking when they would like to have a decision. A deadline has always helped me to make things feel more urgent, that way you can actually take time to think about it, but not procrastinate too much.

Oh, I really feel those bars until the limit. Unfortunately, I can't just say no to writing job applications now, because otherwise, future me will be angry at me.

I always called it the "messy tax", missing out on payments, or not remembering where something is and having to buy more and ending up needing to spend more

The thing about "Consolation Commitment" really resonated with me because I do that a lot, mostly because I feel really guilty about saying No to them, then always end up committing to something even bigger than the one I said NO to. Thank you for reminding me that I don't need to do that. Also, would like to say that I finally got diagnosed and will be starting on medication soon (none of the pharmacies in my area had stock, so I had to order it from somewhere else), which I kept putting off because of the stigma around the adhd and the meds. This channel made me realize that it's not a bad thing if you definitely need it. So thank you again.

I'm here balling my eyes out after watching your TED talk. I'm 25 years old and I've felt terrible about myself for so long. I've had spurts of success and drags of failure. I've felt not enough.... a loser.... I've isolated from multiple friend groups because I don't feel "normal" anymore. I KNOW I'm smart!!! I know I've done important things before! I know i can do whatever I want. But something... SOMETHING keeps holding me back. I've taken to alcohol... before that...risky social behavior with wild recreational drug use.... before that.... just reckless social habits by trying to "impress".... I've had a hard time.... and with your help I now know why. I've just been diagnosed with ADHD. And I can't wait to start making improvements and using medication to help me live the life I wanna live.

Oh yes, saying no, a known inability of my past self. Took me a long time (from my standpoint at least) to reprogram it. Another problem is when one says: "I'll check" instead of "yes", the thing/task gets forgotten like it never existed in my head hahaha It's a constant effort, walking inbetween those two fields

I used to have problems with a lot of this. Saying yes too often, even the consolation prize thing. With time and age now I seem to have the opposite problem. I don't want to commit or say yes to much. I started learning to set boundaries, but now I have gone too far the other way. Saying yes to anything is causing overwhelm. Lots of other reasons for this besides ADHD possibly and the pandemic hasn't helped in this regard. Sigh. Finding a healthy balance is hard sometimes. Thanks for the video! I've recently gotten a diagnosis and on medication in large part thanks to you. At 46! Next is to find a new therapist with ADHD experience. 🤗

I *love* getting guilt tripped after I say "no" 🙄

I have agreed to things just out of poor self esteem, emotion, people pleasing, poor decision making and every time I fail at these things and end up looking and feeling like a failure. This video is so important and I'm glad I found it. Thank you!

uuuuuggghhh... consolation commitment. yeah

Over explaining my reasons is a huge issue for me. I feel like I HAVE to give them a reason I’m saying no but then they usually start trying to problem solve (“I can’t go, I don’t have the gas money” - “oh, don’t worry I can pick you up/lend you money”) then I have to figure how to explain that that’s not the only problem or that I don’t want to borrow money, etc. My friend has actually started saying “it’s alright if you want to say no” when asking to talk or do something and that has been so helpful

I refuse to set boundaries with people because seeing them upset is more painful to me than simply saying yes. Tremendous amounts of time and energy wasted on relationships that did not benefit me, but instead merely prevented the short term pain of saying "no". It's an issue of not just adhd, but also empathy. Thank you so much for your influence. You are providing the resources that I will eventually use to help my kids, who will inevitably have adhd.

"Not now is just future now" is a great quote. This channel is awesome!

I've gotten good at saying no. Unfortunately, I feel guilty, and say yes anyway in the end. Fortunately, enough people flake out on me that I don't get too overwhelmed.

“I’ll get back to you on that” I won’t. I will immediately forget this conversation ever happened until you bring it up again.

I’d really like to see a “what it’s like to be neurotypical” video. Having ADHD I assume most of have never experienced being any different. Please create a video!

I stumbled upon your channel while figuring out the missing link for why I do things a certain way. What is causing anxiety, depression, OCD. Answer is ADHD. Your channel is a blessing and literally there is no such content out there like yours. It just makes our world so easier and takes off all the negative disbeliefs that formed our core values while growing up. Heartfelt thanks for what you are doing ❤️🥰

I say no plenty of times, but to the necessary but I don’t want to face it activities. I don’t say no to the extra RU-vid video or learning that extra subject, even though it means I probably won’t eat a proper dinner as I’m stretching my time into those activities not the necessary ones.

I’m 12 years old and I am to my friends the person that will do everything for them and I a, scared of saying no to people in case they are get upset or think I’m rude This has helped me a lot to realise I need to know when to say no . Especially in arguments it is hard because I want to please everyone but I can’t which just makes me feel more stressed . Thanks for this video it really helped :)

I don't say "No" to people, I say "No" to sleeping and eating and also, doing my assignments. 😏😏😏

I've skipped school the past two days, spent the past week at my parents house, and had probably 20 emotional breakdowns this week because I took on way too much and it caught up to me. I'm currently drafting a resignation letter for my second job so I can focus more on school and I plan on taking a step back from my work in my club. I really like the priorities and anti priorities list idea. Thanks for being here, Jessica.

Optimism is the state of being cheerful or hopeful about the future and about the world around you. An example of optimism is when you are in a bad situation, but you remain cheerful and confident it will all turn out right in the end. Love youre OPTIMISM...

I think I became a people pleaser because I struggled to fit in growing up, & still have a hard time making & keeping friends. I got it into my head early on that if I didn’t say “yes” to everything, I’d continue to be an outcast. I finally realized a few years ago that most people who mistreated me probably would have done so no matter what, in which case I should look out for myself. That’s been liberating, but at the same time, I still have to remind myself to create boundaries & stick to them after so many years of being basically a pushover.

I can't believe the timing of this. I'm regretting a decision I made a few months ago, committing to a job I didn't want to do, and now it's biting me in the butt because this gig is on the immediate horizon. I'm going to be more serious about my boundaries in what jobs I take on moving forward because this commitment is getting in the way of things I'd rather be doing. I'm gonna be saving this video as a reminder to keep myself in check.

These tips are EXACTLY what I need right now. I'm not ADHD but I still have a hard time "letting people down" by saying no. This past 24 hours I've been churning inside because I felt like I needed to say no to someone in order to honor my own feelings and needs, but I so don't want to hurt their feelings or come across as "stingy" or "uncooperative". Your explanation is helping me recognize that it's their choice to think badly about me if I say "no" and I can be okay honoring my boundaries. Thank you :)

I usually play every video on 1.5x or 2x speed so that I don't get distracted and can absorb more information in that short attention span, but your videos are just so fast that I don't even need to do that. Don't know if that is intentionally fast or not, but it really helps. Thank you for making these.

"It's okay for them to be disappointed" felt like a spiritual experience and I am a changed person.

Thank you! I'm doing better at being consistent with my boundaries. But I needed this one! This only confirms I did the right thing for my mental health this weekend! I said NO. Dealing with a narcissistic, gaslighting parent. It felt so good to have space from people.

I think everyone needs to watch this video, with or without ADHD. We all feel like we have to take on and please everyone. It is hard to do everything! Then if we fail we feel guilty and shame! This helps no one! This is a great video as usual!

This video was such an eye opener I had to call my husband half way through to tell him how excited I was about it. I’ve always explained why I have to say no but most of the time I would get resistance, and cave in cause I ended up believing it wasn’t a good excuse to say no. I didn’t realize how easy it was not to explain and double down on a short no answer, but this video just gave me the light bulb moment. Thank you so much!

"That's a future me's problem, but future you is still you -- and not now is just future now" - GENIUS!! I don't know if I have ADHD but I am definitely writing this down to remind my yes-woman self

I just want to say as a nearly 50 year old how much your channel has helped me find ways to define what is going on with me thank you for all the work that you do it's helpful for all you may not do all the things but you are helping all the people that struggle with this.

All of the fabulous enthusiastic non-committal phrases in this video: "Wow. That sounds really great." "What does this entail?" "I need to run this by my team." "Let me check my schedule." "That sounds really exciting, but I'm not available that week." Repeat if needed, "I'm not available that week." Don't overexplain. Don't over consolation commitments. Just say no. "Maybe. I'm not going to commit yet." I need the visual so that I can remember them. Hooray! Thanks for the video, Jessica! I'm still learning how to flex my boundary muscles.

Growing in to Saying No has been tough on my social groups. But in the same way that jettisoning acquaintances that take more than they give making the friends that remain more valuable, they're starting to notice that my yes is almost certainly YES and...if not, then they're learning my reasons aren't excuses. Still tough of course but it makes me a better friend.

“‘Not now’ is just ‘future now!’” 🤣🤣 Great video as always! 🙌🏻

I have had the worst burnout of my life this past month… and now I know why. Thank you for encouraging me to say no!

When I got the notification that you uploaded this video I read the title and thought "Yeah, I used to be like that, but I how to say no now". And here I am, more or less a week later, rewatching this video because: - I forgot all my documents (credit card, identity card, etc) at home, so I left my groceries at the store and I had to go back home to take my credit card (I still have to go back to get my groceries) - I hadn't eaten almost anything since 9 am and I was starting to get dizzy (its around 16:00 where I live now, but at least I just had lunch) - I said yes to an activity, a kind of reading club, which takes place today from 19:30 to 20:30 - I said yes to a meeting with an lgbtq+ organization in my town because I'm going to do a talk at my university and we have to organize it (it's supposed to start at 20:00) - I have to make two or three vegan foccacia breads for tomorrow (I am organizing an activity for tomorrow with that lgbtq+ group and it's going to last all afternoon, so we have to bring food and I'm the only one who knows vegan recipes and the rest don't have time either because they are organizing other parts of the activity, so they are all counting on me) So, in "ADHD brief" (honestly, we don't know how to keep things short XD): I have no idea how much time ANY of them will take, I have to walk for 20 minutes to get to the store and another 20 to get home, another 30 or 35 minutes to get to the place of the meeting and then come back home and do whatever is left, in case I'm forgetting anything. I have to cook the food for tomorrow and leave it in the oven, exactly between 21:00 and 23:00 because that's when our electric company costs less, I've already canceled the reading club, but I still want to go to the meeting and I'm already thinking about some stuff I have to do tomorroy, on sunday and next week. I have no idea how I'm going to do it, no idea if there's anything I forgot to do, and now I'm stuck on my kitchen with my laptop, the same song on repeat, and no idea of where to start. So, yeah, maybe I still have to work on saying no. And I can definitely see how this contributes to burnout.

I saw your ted talk, and I couldn’t finish the video because it was going to make me cry. I have a doctors appointment soon, and I’m definitely gonna get back on medication. I feel like god brought me your video.

I recently learned about ADHD and I was reluctant to even consider I could have it due to all the representation it got in the media, the constant shaming from everyone around me, people praising me when I burnt myself out to meet their expectations, the list goes on. But good lord, did you make me cry on several videos by making me realise how harsh and unfair I've been to myself. I feel stripped of layer after layer of lies, guilt and shame. I still am in fear to go and meet a doctor about it, fear they will tell me to suck it up and not be a baby, especially since I'm a man. I've been told that before when I tried to reach out for help, to just be better. I thank you for the existence of your channel and RU-vid for recommending it!😜 Turns out it's not always a bad thing to have cookies tracking your every move when googling ADHD for dozens of online tests😂 ! Jokes aside, every video helps me building a case for myself when I make that appointment, so, I'll owe you if I'm heard !

Hi, Ive had ADHD since I was a kid. However in the 60s - 70s they didnt diagnose it. Im now 60 and am trying to write...again...at an academic/research level. Ive always know there was something wrong with my concentration, but I just thought it was me. My grandson was diagnosed with ADHD, not sure which one, last year. Then my daughter started to talk to me about it. Ive just seen a psychiatrist and he wants to put me on some meds. Im pleased about this. Also I am so stoked to have found your channel. It is really helpful for me at the beginning of my med journey 🙂

"future you is still you. And not now is just future now" Ooof. I felt that.

I don't mind disappointing people because I have tons of practice. However I do take on too much to avoid conflict because I find it hard to say no in socially polite way. So thank you for going over saying no without being rude. I will use this in the future.

"Future you is still you." That's going in my planner for this week. One thing that's helped me - because I will go to war with time and space for my friends but not myself - is to remember when people have said, "I feel like people don't actually like me" "Just hang out with me out of obligation" "would rather be doing something else". I always tell them I'd say no if I didn't want to do the thing, and I need to back that up.

I totally agree with this! I'm 42 and my wife *HATES* how much I prevaricate - always saying "maybe" or "I'll try", instead of yes or no. She has OCD and it drives her wild with anger that I won't be pinned down and in place. However, my time is PRECIOUS. What may seem important for someone else ISN'T for me. I try to push back - ask why THEY can't do it if they really want it done. And if I do take on a task it's on MY TERMS, so it may be very low down on my priorities but I'll get round to it in my own sweet time. I do do what I agree to do, when it becomes necessary (yeah, probably a bit late) unless I have regular, non-judgemental, reminders. The more I'm *pushed* to do something that isn't a priority, the more likely I am to brush my hands of it and pass it on to someone else (or send it right back). There's a very fine line that has to be navigated to successfully make me do something unimportant. Unless I'm in the mood to do it right yhere and then, in which case it's done so quickly and suddenly that it suprises everyone how quickly I could accomplish it. 🙂

Oh man I needed this. Been on the edge of a meltdown for 2 weeks now. I think I watched it like 5+ times in a row.

I've found recently that I over promise to get the things that I want. So I promise to take on so much more than I actually want to guarantee that I get the part that I do want. Then I end up getting burned out and not wanting any of it, but by then I'm committed. The older I get the more I'm learning that silence and simplicity can be a good thing at times. The "no consolation prize" thing is good advice.

I don't have ADHD, but I am a huge people pleaser and find it very difficult to say no. A big game changer for me was to introduce "maybe" as a possile answer. It no longer became an automatic yes or no, but suddenly I had the option of saying, "maybe, let me think about it and get back to you". This gave me time to think the decision through and respond for myself rather than responding what I felt the other person wanted me to say. Also, having time to prepare myself to say no, if that was my final decision, made it easier than saying no in the moment.

I could've used this video a month ago, but instead of beating myself up I'm going to cut myself some slack, learn something, and move forward. Thank you for always being here to show us something useful ❤️

Thank you for this video. Saying no has always been a struggle with me, and being overwhelmed by all the things I put on my plate made me feel... less worthy. In the last months I tried to change that, so this video really, REALLY helps. Thank you a lot for all the work you put in!

I fee called out with the 'future you is still you' comment lol Honestly this video came at the right time as I started feeling super overwhelmed and anxious lately because of too much stuff and responsibilities going on and I just talked with my therapists about learning to saying no. I've become better at recognizing boundaries but I still need to practice implementing them !