How to Stop Taking Things So Personally 

“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality” - Seneca

Much love to all on the journey of self healing, wish you strength and clarity

To stop taking things personally just consider the source. Everyone sees and interprets their world through their experience. So, whatever they are saying is a reflection of them. Hence, they are not saying anything about you but are telling you something about their self.

That is so me. I take things too personally, because I suffered from humiliation as a trauma since my childhood. That is why I have hard time engaging with someone.

It is easier when we realize that most people aren't thinking about us at all.

Taking things too personally is also related with egocentrism and narcissism and the belief that everything is somehow related to you, like for example walking down the street and seeing a group of people laughing and believing that they are making fun of you. Most probably they didn't even notice you.

“To a mind that is still. The whole universe surrenders.” Anonymous

This is my main problem. I care too much on what ppl say. 😢

“Don’t take your thoughts seriously” -Eckhart Tolle

Thank you 🌸 Life is all about finding yourself. Those who are reading the comments, great things are on the way. Believe 🌸

"Those who think the world revolves around themselves are wrong" ~ Bobby Bobinson

“If any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone” - Epictetus

Cheers man. I just recently bought and read your book “Unoffendable”. I really liked it. It’s given me lots of food for thought about myself and stuff. I also appreciated your honesty and humility regarding your own experiences. Keep up the good work brother. Respect.

To late, I already rage quit my job. Thanks a lot RU-vid recommendations.

You have got the best timing. Edit: Well, 48 identified with me. I had just been rejected by a girl (something that hurts deeply, since I have been rejected multiple times in the past and It's hard for me to deal with it), I thought she liked me for a relationship, we'd been talking for many months and when we finally went out, after the last one time (third date) she started to ghost me, so I asked what was going on and she replied she did not want any relationship with anybody at all. I don't know if that is the case or if she likes someone else, the latter was driving me crazy when thinking about it. After watching this video I felt a heck much better. Thank you very much for sharing and greetings from Costa Rica.

"I am not my thoughts, feelings, circumstances of changing events in life, I am the awareness, the alertness, the changeless which remains present behind it."

Great content...made my morning. As a German I want to add that "Hintergedanken" is used to express that someone has got a hidden agenda in mind or is up to something bad / exploiting - in very most cases.

BEST RESPONSE to negative feedback is “Thank you for your feedback. I will give it some thought.” Getting angry or defensive is counterproductive.

Thinking less significant of myself, is the greatest gift that you shared with me. Boy this came at the most incredible moment of my existence. Thank you for this lesson...

I think before you learn not to take things personally. You have to set boundaries first. If you just let things slip away and act like you do not care, it will just give you friction and a mountain of supressed emotions. How could one understand that he is not a reflection of other people's words if he'd just stay silent? I think there are moments that you have to give yourself a compassion by setting your boundaries to others. By being aware of what you really feel and communicating your truth to your environment. If you are going to apply that in your life, I think you will develop a sense of trust in yourself and the rest will gradually follow. By respecting yourself and showing others that you respect yourself too would give you a sense of security in yourself and would result in not really minding other people because you already knew and applied your own values and truth in your life.

When someone criticizes me in order to bring me down or is trying to cause me pain is when I get upset or angry. They’re trying to make me feel lesser than and trying to put me down like I’m inferior or worse than them or other people in some way. When someone is intentionally trying to bring me down or make me look weak is when I get the most angry. I know I’m kind of repeating myself but it’s hard to put into words that feeling when someone is putting me down. Like I’m not worthy somehow but it goes deeper than that and I can’t really put it into words exactly how bad it makes me feel.

We should stop telling people to take a joke. Telling people they are too sensitive and can't take a joke just shows we don't want to take accountability for our own actions and are making excuses for our bad behavior. If someone makes a joke at my expense, I wont consider them a human. I am not obligated to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume there was no malicious intent. Other people's intentions are not more important than my feelings. If I don't know the person well, they should not joke with me.

I so needed to hear this out and form a clear perspective devoid of any judgements and insecurities instilled by other people. Thank you so much!

Thanks mate! I really enjoy your channel and the fact that your videos get better over time. They are always to the point, are deep but in the same time delivered in a digestfull and pleasant manner. The increasing amount of content often reduces the quality, but not in your case! Keep doing a great work! Cheers

The no-mind concept is a darn good one for a lot of things. No-mind is "I know but I don't mind." Thanks, Eckhart Tolle.

People often see what they unconsciously want to see. It's called projection. Once you integrate that, you can carve your way to equanimity.

Maybe its our own feelings that we take personally sometimes, and then we look for excuses to blame it on others or the world. Tough as it may be, I will try harder to focus my judgement inwardly. Much love, peace, and respect to all. Love the video, thanks :)

Great stuff. As always. Just asked a girl out to a coffee date. If she says no, I will NOT take it personally. I will simply and humbly accept her decision and move on

It’s a very simplistic way at looking at the topic. The context and the motivation behind the situation plays a lot into forming the reaction. But I agree with the initial message that you should work to remove “I” from the equation

*John Wick:* They killed my Dog. Its Personal now

Ayo I take myself way too srsly, especially to my own self. this vid helps decipher bwtn truth n nonsense and reminding me that i may not be as significant as I may deem myself, aha very humbling bro thank you

"Honestly, many people are just full of shit" 😂😂😂

I take things too personal... Way too personal... Due to the traumatic experience I had being bullied and ridiculed throughout my childhood. I constantly feel that everyone is attacking me when I interpret things the wrong way, or even when some is yelling at me or insulting me...

I have caught myself writing horror stories in my head where I have the starring role of victim.

I really needed this right now! Insults made yesterday lose more meaning every time I really think of them consciously. May you all have a wonderful day!

This exact experience happened to me today and I have been ruminating about what happened. So stressful...but I like the idea of looking at it from a point of how insignificant things are in an infinite universe. Thanks.

You make everything so easy to grasp!

I took this video so personal 😂

I was raised to take things personally. To never make people angry or upset, and if they were unhappy, it was my fault. I was raised to take responsibility for other's emotions. Even now, I don't know what I should be taking personally and what I shouldn't.

This channel became one of my favorites overnight. Thanks for the wonderful wisdom!

3:46, this part motivated me so much lol

I can relate what I've been given through... 😔

Pain comes from attachment.. think about it for a moment...

I wish everyone luck 💖 Some of you have no idea how much of a privilege it is to learn something like this when others don’t, due to intense mental illness and chronic issues.

im kinda glad i started searching for these videos after i took smth personally bcuz i was arguing with someone who was attention seeking and they said "british people arnt real" and i called them judgemental and attention seeking but i gave him more attention for starting an argument and i thought of myself as ignorant for calling him out for being judgemental but i was defending a british person and also got myself into bs i wasnt even in so maybe i am ignorant and im just trying to make myself more humble and forgiving and i publicly called him out so im asking myself "Am i in the wrong for this?" bcuz i always say to myself "take people to the side not infront of others when u wanna call em out" so ig im a hypocrite but then again im mind boggled rn so i might be saying alot and i apologize

i was taking things so personally that i got fed and me personally, i took that personally

I just needed this Video, sometimes Im like, How do you know Einzelganger? Thank you^^

“Don’t take your thoughts seriously” -Eckhart Tolle

3:04 Gold

This is absolutely needed in this joke-or-bullying world

Perfect video in a perfect time. Synchronicity at its best.

the best point is. "look at it from a different perspective". best adviceeeeeeeeeeeeeee

1. Changing perspectives 2. Discerning reality from fiction 3. Discerning nonsense from the truth This is EXACTLY what I needed this week. Thank you Einzelganger, I can't say it enough.

This is SO TRUE at the 3:12 point it states "its the NOT KNOWING" that gets me everytime. Its what makes my armor and my defenses resistant but not provable.

I think about this a lot, because a lot of my friends have beliefs and opinions contrary to mine. Sometimes, they like to tease me with a “Hey man, don’t you think *blah blah blah*?”, and thanks to these videos I have been taking these remarks less and less personally. Vielen Dank Einzelgänger!

Excellent video! Thank you for sharing your viewpoint on this topic.

I'm a guy who cares way too much about lots of things and I take everything personal where I get upset easily and I wish I can stop but a guy like me who is sensitive to small certain things can't really stop feeling upset for what people think of me like bad things or say anything about stupid or something😥

Cold mind comes from self control which comes from organized free time and only after these steps we can react impartially on everything that happens around us and protect ourselves against stress.

I know I am not alone with this issue, for all of us I wish you peace and love. It hurts and freeing all at the same time - do not give up - I refuse to surrender too.

Michael Jordan : This is personal

Man, you are always into my head.

"... My mind is a mirror, a reflection only known to me And for those who hate me, the more you hate me The more you help me And for those who love me, the more you love me The more you hurt me When I go to bed in the night, I see some children in the light Fighting unknown shadows behind my mother's back And although I don't understand my dreams I know somewhere, there is hope, there's hope, there is hope ..." _I Won't Complain_ - *Benjamin Clementine*

“Pineapple pizza is the soul for every man” - *Albert Einstein*

You got the best music choice thank you so much you introduced me to such great music I love it!!!!!!

I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your videos. I've been studying stoicism for a few years now, but it always helps my understanding of this great philosophy to hear other people's perspective on it. I keep trying to introduce Stoicism to my friends and acquaintances, but it is still sadly a relatively obscure philosophy that many don't see or want to see the value in. But there is great joy to be had in pursuing virtue along with others, so I thank you for the time and effort you give to make these videos.

This Video Came In My Recommendations.... And I Took That Personally.........

My school principal and teachers need this video

I really appreciated this explanation, which for me was very informative and will help me in future relationships with others. Thank you very much for this video, and also for the excellent soudtrack. Best regards

Thanks for sharing very informative. This video would change your perspective in life forever.❤

Thank you so much to everyone responsible for making this video I was almost on a spiral this morning and I really needed this point of view

This video appears on my recommendation and it's on a perfect timing

Now this was good!!

4:05 Well, I'm upset because they are trying to control my life. They might even punish me 😐

9 people have taken this video personally

Thank you for another great video. Do you think you can address "guilt" as a topic? It'd be great to know more about how to handle it in a constructive way.

As I have gotten older, I have slowly begun to realize that, very often, life is a sporadically and incompletely controlled chaos. If humans had a hive mind, so many of our problems would be solved, only to be replaced by other problems of equal or greater complexity. We care too much, and in the wrong ways, about the opinions of others; but we are trained, from birth, to be social animals, which allows "societies," with all their advantages and disadvantages, to exsist. I wish I knew a realistic solution.

Lots of love & wishes 🙏❤️

am i the only one who finds this guys voice relaxing

I watch it couple of times to keep reminding me the philosophy

Sir Einzelgänger, you sound like a young Jean-Claude Van Damme. I love your videos, Bro. Keep it up!

A lot of people like to argue for meaningless reasons, can you make a video of how to end arguments with people who like arguing

I cant control that

I am only a few months away from being in my mid twenties and I am going to admit with an immense amount of shame that taking things way too personally is still one of my biggest weaknesses along with unessecarily stressing about things

People will speak shit , that's their job... ( kuch toh log kahenge logo ka kaam hai kehna ~ A famous line in hindi language)

I always took things personally, especially when i get constructive criticism over art. I always felt suspicious that they were hiding the fact that they hated me, or something else extreme.

I see this behaviour of inflated ego in people who on actuality haven't gotten anywhere in society. I don't mean that they should, but challenges and overcoming them humbles you.

Great video, thanks 🙏🏼

I was searching for an answer to Why We Take Unfollowing On social media So personally, and I found this.. It's good video, but I would really like to know the answer of my question😣

Right on. Most people are full of shit! No truer words have ever been spoken. Another great vid. Thanks man

Ah, i hate living like this its all i can ever think about when i dont want to tjink about it sometines i can just let it be let it go but otherwise it overwhelmes and gets power over me im getting tired of crap like this i pray that i can get through this i know can and i want to believe that its just damn its pretty tiring lol this is so cringe of me

This is a damn good channel. Today I subscribe❤️

Hey Einzelganger I love your videos man. They have helped me in so many ways. Just out of curiosity though are you a psychiatrist or something or do you just figure out these things yourself? Sometimes personally I will have a certain thought or concept rolling around in my head but can't quite pin it down, but there's been a few times I came across one of your videos where you explained it in a way I can understand. Anyway thanks man and keep up the good work.

Why being obsessed by nonsence

does anyone have advice on how to not take criticism personally but also not allow it to slide and have people walking all over me and trashing my name?

Hi friend, great video! In order to get people to identify more with the title of your book and maybe increase sales, I would propose the change of the subtitle of the book "The Art of Thriving in a World Full of Jerks". I believe most people who are interested in reading your book and improving themselves are also interested in the general subject of "self-improvement" in which seeing others in a positive light is a core factor. If so, they might not share the view of seeing the wold as "full of jerks". Great video, merchandise and suggestions.

🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 00:00 🧐 *Miscommunication is common, and taking things personally often stems from self-centered interpretations.* 00:29 🌍 *The perception of being attacked is more about our worldview, influenced by insecurities and low self-esteem.* 01:05 🔄 *Changing perspective helps to see situations more realistically and less personally.* 01:35 🙇‍♂️ *Recognizing others' imperfections and biases can lead to understanding that their words often reflect more on them than on us.* 02:05 🏢 *In professional criticism, understanding that it's about performance, not personal worth, is key.* 02:34 🧠 *Distinguishing between our thoughts and reality is crucial to avoid creating false narratives.* 03:01 🤔 *Being comfortable with 'not knowing' prevents the creation of a fake reality.* 03:30 🗣️ *Discerning between nonsense and truth in what others say can prevent taking things personally.* 03:55 📊 *Using an "insult flow chart" to assess whether criticism is true or nonsense can be a learning opportunity.* 04:22 🏋️‍♀️ *Building resilience against words takes time and practice.* 04:51 🎈 *Adopting a less serious attitude about oneself reduces the likelihood of feeling attacked by others' words.* Made with HARPA AI

Gotta send this to my teacher.

I rarely blow my stack but it's just so hard not to have hard feelings.

Well it's hard when people keep demonizing men constantly

Inaction has consequences. Just look at the world we live in today... What people need to ask themselves...'would you rather hear the truth or would you rather be right?' They are two very different things. "Doing the right thing almost always takes courage, just as discipline is impossible without the wisdom to know what is worth choosing. What good is courage if not applied to justice? What good is wisdom if it doesn't make us more modest?" Ryan Holiday. Where do you draw the line at setting boundaries and letting things go. At what point do you allow things to happen and by your inaction you are enabling aberrant behavior. We are in a world now where inaction has gone on so long and with the internet, people quite literally have let their shadows run amuck where a completely new culture has grown from it... when logic and reason has been throw out. We all are responsible for the world we live in. Particularly, men have lost authority to say 'no'. What good is philosophy if we don't have the courage to stand up for what is right.