How You Messed Up When They Reached Out 

Let me clarify. I did this video to explain how scary it is when your ex does reach out. It's very easy to get overexcited and make mistakes. I gave a few examples up front (one with how anxious and scared he was and one who made a mistake. In the actual email, the girl did not reach out. She replied to a reach out. He got very lucky because during his prior 2 reach out she ignored him. But then his anxiety caused him to send that string of texts which got progressively worse...

My ex reached out after 1.5 months of no contact. Never expected it. I didn't know exactly what I wanted to say, but I knew how I wanted to appear. Not anxious, not needy, confident, and showed signs that I have changed.

That dude is like “but wait there’s more”

This guy's messages made me uncomfortable and I don't even know him.

“Wow! I can’t believe she’s a home owner!” You got me rofl

I was cringing watching this video. I hope this guy gets his anxiety under control and is able to turn this around. By the way, just for people losing hope on their ex's reaching out, a girl a dated for only 4 months dumped me nearly 2 years ago. I was devastated. She met another guy and was due to be married this year. I've dated a few girls since. Well a week ago she added me on Facebook, and now she is reaching out. Seems she is single again. Due to Craig's advice, i've arranged a date with her for next week and she seems enthusiastic to see me. Don't lose hope people. Anything can happen.

It's very easy to get overexcited when they finally reach out...

The ex’s don’t deserve a second change, if they walked away tell them to keep walking!!😊

She cracks the door and you kick the door and said:" hey!I'm here! I parked the car in the back and I'm moving in!" hahahahaha that part got me, I can't stop laughing and rewatching it. I guess I will never be able to finish this video.

My ex just text me!!!!!! After a whole year omg... so I'm reviewing all these videos so I don't mess up.... I'm in too much shock..I gotta digest this...you're so right...this is terrifying

Man. All I want to say is I've watched these videos Ober the last 4 days and I've made sure to listen to everything you've said. It's been so interesting to watch everything you've said unfold. I love how your advice is truly genuine and preach any toxic behavior between myself and the person I love. I'd just love to extend my gratitude publicly because in al honesty Craig Kenneth you saved my relationship and you've changed my way of thinking going forward. Thank you so much.

Listening to how clueless the guy in this story makes ME anxious! It brings back some stuff in my past when dealing with relationships. It's amazing how you sometimes have to personally experience these situations I order to learn. If I only knew what I know now back then... Thanks for the videos, Coach Craig!

I know he’s excited and anxious, but poker face! :) 4 months out and he’s too pushy! Baby steps!! Then 8 months post break up- don’t analyze...have fun and reattract!! He should’ve been working on himself while they were apart and he would’ve been more in control and done better.

To be honest it's better they never reach out, cause what's the point? Asking for favor? Trying to be friends out of guilt? Or maybe trying to get info if perhaps you haven't screwed up yourself in your life? Then you end up getting sick all over again, upset, thinking and obsessing. They dump you then they should fuck off, nothing can be done. They will come to damage you all over and over again, if you let them. What can you do is just take care of yourself and stop wasting time.

I’m still baffled by him saying I love the kitchen is she sending him pics of the house 🤔

Unless this girl was feeling needy herself, she’d block this guy.

ewww when he starts naming the foods I would have blocked him-LOL

Omg you are hilarious! Not only are your videos educational, but entertaining as well!!

Coach Craig's reaction is hilarious in this video. Love his emoji impression!

Hahaha! The last part was so funny! Really like your videos! Thank you so much for everything 😊🙏

Omg the commentary and reading of this guy’s text messages re the new house has me dyyyyyyying 😂😂😂

Happened to me too. I knew it's gonna happen some time, but even so I was taken by surprise. A little tension on my stomach, but I managed to be fun, and I did not show any emotions.

Hi Mr.Craig Kenneth , i spoke to my ex girl who broke up with me three years ago , though she is married and have child , i felt happy talking to her after a long time . i should thank both of you craig kenneth and coach Margaret. you people are simply amazing. You people are saving the world. Though i had no penny with me in my pocket ,. i only spent little for internet regularly and watched all your videos. daily since 2017 october. Coach Margaret your teachings are stellar, wish i had a mom like you ! i don't know how to pay back for these many videos you people upload in youtube. i would buy your products from your website. and coach craig i will never stop watching your videos . and Coach Margaret you are god ! love from India.

I was cringing so hard

This guy makes my skin crawl. I would never have replied to all that garbage.

I feel for this guy he sounds like he's me and for sure you beat yourself up big time

Is there such thing as a relationship in which both partners are madly and openly in love no holds barred? Or do all "successful" relationships require these kinds of constant mind games to keep the spark alive?

" 'When is the official move-in date?' " -"Too nosy!" 😂 Great video, Craig! Although it was painful and cringe-worthy the way he keeps going. Poor guy, I can relate to this though.

I just ordered the first workbook. Unfortunately I cannot afford your coaching but the thought was a good one. I will just continue to listen. Thank you for becoming a part of my daily life

I like, how you share these stories and explain these situations and what to do when we are thinking about some of these things

After 2 weeks of no contact, I was starting to move on, then unexpectedly my ex winded up at my door, bawling and breaking down like someone died, saying that he still loves me and misses me and apologizing over and over about everything that he ever did wrong. But after that he said that he still doesn’t know what he wants to do with us. Please help me, it only confused me harder than before. What do I do next?? Please help me :(

sounds familiar in a way hehe. great story Craig.😭

Why my ex treating me unfairly and so cold-hearted.

That chat was so hilarious 😂

So I went no contact 3 days later she calls to see how I was doing ok so I started to talk and she went on to tell me how she only wanted to see what’s up ,, after she hang up the phone I felt little weird but let me tell ya... they are special but so are we ,, please do your self a favor don’t run after someone don’t for the life .. when someone loves you they will do what ever it takes to have you for one and one reason only.. The fear of someone else having the beautiful you... Now that she hung up on me I will give her the 31 days of nothing!!! You disrespected me again That means I will teach u I can do without you and if something good comes across well that’s your loss After all I was that man that took care of you unlike anyone has ever done so

I was off grid when he reached out and didn't realize till I got into the parking lot at Walmart to get some groceries the next day. I was literally shaking and on cloud 9 in the store; I couldn't remember what I'd come in for!

This guy got so excited. I feel for him.

I hate to laugh but this poor guy!! 😫😫😫😂😂

This is another great video on your channel

Response. Thanks Coach Craig and Thanks Margaret ! listening to You both Helps Alot..Where were You Before my " Relationships". Wish I heard these then..Better Late them..Never. Your Sweet Coach Craig and Margaret. Your both " Wise. I Listen to You Coach Craig in my Bed. I think these over too. These Stories are intetesting. And Thanks for Sharing from Your Experience and " Expertise"!

Your so funny 😂 Coach Craig, but taking notes 📝 thanks for your videos.

Mr Kenneth! I have been watching you from Brazil. My birthday is coming up in a few days. What do I do if she wishes me happy birthday? I am in no contact rule for 20 days. Thanks Mr Kenneth! You are great with everyone who is suffering with a break up.

I know this video is years and years old by now lol… but I just have to say… I understand how you’re breaking apart these messages.. you’re right. Much of it is way too strong. Not at all where I would’ve gone with it. However… when it comes to deeming it all as “inauthentic”… idk about that. It actually sounds very authentic to me. Yes - it’s corny and over the top… but that’s actually exactly what makes it so authentic. It’s real. If it were smooth… plain… cordial and that’s it… maybe it would come off better.. but then THAT isn’t authentic. Then THAT may be felt or viewed as manipulative or played like a game to get a specific outcome. When we’re in the position that this guy is in… that’s our authenticity. We’re over sensitive. On guard. Anxious. Yes it can lead to some bad mistakes. But maybe it’s time for the world to wake up and realize that it’s human and if you want someone who’s real with you… their flawed imperfect self is what’s real and what should be loved. Playing a game and strategizing what to say is over planned and NOT who someone really is. They’re just playing a role to get to the trophy at the end. I’d rather have a woman be into me and my vulnerability than someone who wants a man who fakes his way with words. Doesn’t mean he’s not still coming on too strong 😅that’s very evident lol. But if she can’t understand the reality of how he feels about her and who he is, then there’s no way that she’s the one for him. Just my own take. You have the background, I don’t. But when we’re in the position of waiting and attempting to work things out… that’s what’s real. Working things out will feel awkward and emotional and make us trip up everywhere… but it’s real and as authentic as it gets.

Awesome video man😂🔥

Idk why a lot of this is funny to me but just focus on being healthy and learning as much as possible. Become bulletproof and attractive! Stay strong, inside and out. 💯

you are an ex for a reason and it was just your turn....never return for breadcrumbs,,,go forward and not backwards and live your best life

I need to focus on emotional self control. When I first responded to her, I was just replying once at night, then I got ahead of myself. Next time she reaches out, I will just reply at night until I see consistency

Ugh sometimes I speak like this. Not meaning to suffocate. I perceived it as flirtation. But I do see what Craig is saying it comes off as. I’d like to see Craig do a you should have said this. On this video.

Can you make a video on different responses we can send them for different situations you have encountered when they reach out. So we dont lose our shit and fail..

My cat went missing a few days ago, and I posted about this on fb so my relatives would share. He texted me (after a week and a half of NC) about my missing cat. Hoping he’d be found safe but also adding he hoped I was doing fine.

After about a month of no contact, I got my stuff back from my ex and she seemed VERY uninterested in friendship or anything. I didn’t reach out, but two days later she texted me saying that she was at a worship service she thought I would really really like. The entire student-athlete body was there and she noticed that I wasn’t. This gym was ENTIRELY packed. What should I make of this? How should I respond?

Excellent content 👍

I messed up, I was too excited and pushed her away 🤦‍♂️. Guys if I have one piece of advice, just enjoy the moment and don’t talk about the future until it’s the other persons idea. I’ve messed up so many things in life, she’s the one thing I don’t want to mess up on anymore.

This guy is starting to sound like my ex though he had his moments of being so loving to me it kept me wanting more but the last couple months of the relationship was absolutely perfect I feel like I somehow messed it up. But thank you for your videos theyre clearing up some things and easing my anxiety. Though I am worried that I waited too long to respond cause I haven’t responded for a week now

Would it even be an indirect/direct approach if we work together and we haven't talked in a while but they start a text off asking about work? The conversation went on a little bit about other stuff but it was about work for half of it.

I messed up when my ex reached out. But not as bad as this. I got 2 dates with her and she held my hand several times and agreed to a 3rd date, but she canceled the 3rd date via text a week later. A little hot and cold so I'm leaving her be for a few months. I came on a little too strong wanting to talk about starting a new relationship rather than having a good time. I got excited because it's been a year.

18:34 This part got me laughing so much lol Its like she opened the door a little bit to see who's there and you kicked the door down you're like HEY IM HERE WHATS FOR DINNER? IM GONNA STAY THE NIGHT BY THE WAY MY BAGS IN THE CAR you dont mind do you..I'm just gonna move in.... lmao

i havnt talked to her in 20 days and she sent me a pic of her dog putting that he misses me and is proud of me.

18:36 LOL exactly! Don't break no contact and control your yourself when your ex reaches out!

Great video... I couldn't stop laughing last few minutes of it, you are hilarious...great job xx

To many women out there watching this years later. If we go silent it does not mean we do not want to communicate. Or that we ghost you. Sometimes we just dont have an answer. there's something deep down in us built in where we desperately want to fix everything. Men's nature is to fix stuff. So naturally if we're dealing with an abstract or emotional challenge or simply - there's a problem you are pointing at - please make sure you are not accusing us. Try to be a team player, help us help you. We do not want to be on the other side of the river bank staring at you yelling.

My ex broke up with me and we tried to stay friends. We tried to remain friends and I acted need and desparate. We finally broke up in October and I went full no contact. I didn't expect to hear from her again. It was really dark couple of weeks. And then one day she sent me a message late at night, I'm pretty sure she was drunk. She said she was sorry and wanted to talk. This was 22 days later. We are in regular contact now. I'm matching her energy and not initiating much contact.

My tummy hurts from how funny on this Coach Craig....poor guy 🙄

I loved this one. Hahaha! Man, I thought I was pushy with my ex ex, but this is something else.

18:50 absolutely KILLED me hahahaha

Damn. That guy from the email is cringy af. I felt sooo bad for him.

this is a lot like my case, her was doing almost 100% and after so many years she just got tired, now she's with someone else and I think the big reason why it has been so hard to move on is the fact that I feel guilty more than wanting her , it's like by nature Everytime we mess up the first time we always want another chance.

Your are brilliant !!

Could reaching out even be a “oh I pocket dialed you sorry”? That’s what happened to me. Long story short she broke up with me because after 6 months she said she still hasn’t gotten over her ex…

Philbert...of all names lolol

thank goodness I messed up because things are only getting better 🥳🥳 Do the work people

Mine did this only a week after dumping me for someone else. I appreciate her candor but we the same time I want her to be devoted to me before she ever comes back.

Sir, my ex finally reached out just yesterday. Been in radio silence for 1 month and 12 days. However, he didnt contact me now. Did i messed up? He said :"Hello __, how are you? I hope you're doing well...I'm still sorry about what happened, we are lock down because of the coronavirus...I hope it's good there. I send you a big hug and a shiny smile.. my reply: " im doing the best as i can. I heard about it from the global news. I hope All and your family will be safe. Praying still." (thats few hours from his chat) He replied" Thank you, I wish always the best for you😉" then I replied" i hope you too".. thats the end. But now. he didnt reach out again. 😔Did i messed up?

I was nearly dying when she left me. I'm a lean 155lbs and lost 15 lbs. Stopped knowing who I was, lost all ambition, couldn't work, got behind on all my bills, dropped everyone, isolated myself. She asked if I wanted to go on a date once after the breakup and then she bailed on me. I felt I needed to stand up for myself and tell her I wasn't going to be taken for granted anymore (she only cancelled because of her anxiety, which she did a lot during our time together). I was always patient with her, we were really close friends for 12 years prior to dating for 3 years. She stopped contact after that, at which time I became my worst and tried to actually see her at her house, which was in all reality going to be our house days before she left me. She wasn't home so I kept driving, listening to Soundgarden, coping with abandonment. I saw her at another man's house, a place we'd hung out before because she was learning a skill from him and she saw a future career in it. I nearly crashed my car when I saw her car there. It was pretty early in the morning so I knew she spent the night. I actually turned around and made sure I knew it was her car. Then I called her and told her what I did. She got really angry and I told her how hurt I was, that I literally felt like dying. I know that's extreme, but it wasn't for me at the time. I already felt like I was going to die, I was sick. We talked once after that and she went no contact. I reached out months later to let the guy know I was sorry for anything I might've caused because of that and he derailed me, explaining to me how amazing and beautiful and perfect she was and that they'd known each other for years. I wanted to actually hurt him for his level of disdain and carelessness. Also, he supposedly wasn't involved but knew a lot more than he should of that were the case. So now I didn't trust either of them. He told me I was a creepy stalker and she was afraid I was going to do something crazy to her. I told her I knew how she felt and decided I would be the one to unfriend her and leave her be because stalking her was not my intention and I was devastated that she thought I could or would hurt her. I truly love her, and never did or would. I've never been abusive because I know what it's all like, both of my parents were abusive, all 3 if you count my mother's gf as a parental figure. I was abandoned, mentally manipulated and abused, put down, emotionally pulled in and pushed away as well as physically beat to the point where pain didn't register with me until my dad broke my leg. I don't wish pain on anyone, but I get really almost "heroic" when I sense injustice. I want to fight but won't because it's harmful. So my emotions come out, I look obviously pissed, and I use my words like swords. I really think the only reason she said she felt that way to him is because she felt trapped and very guilty at that point. She was confiding in him.which pissed me off because I was always that guy, even in her other relationships and even her marriage. So I felt completely trashed. I did try talking to her parents too, they were really careless too. She could do no wrong in their eyes. They say they love me too but then say she isn't my business and she's moved, stuff like that (even though her stuff was still at my house while "hers" was getting finished up...i even put the roof on the fucking thing) and she still had a key. I had to reach out one more time when a friend had me taken into psychiatric treatment and I needed my sister to have the key to take care of my cats and make sure everything was okay at home. She seems to live a douhble life between her peers and her parents imo, because having a key and leaving her stuff here was not moving on, it was digging hooks into me that I knew was unfair and even cruel. I felt used and abused and probably was. That same final time we talked she even compared my emotions to her x that actually used to beat her and scare the living shit out of her daily. It was sickening. I still have a hard time leaving my house because I'm afraid to see her or her family.

From 18:35 on it’s one of the funniest bits I’ve ever seen. I have replayed it over and over. “Heyyyy I’m here!!” I died! 😂 hahaha “

I recommend people (men) watch the movie Swingers and take note of the "voicemail" scene where the guy just keeps digging himself into a deeper and deeper hole by contacting the woman WAYYYY too much with very little reciprocation. It's a well-acted scene and illustrates kind of what this guy in the video here seems to be doing with all of the texting. Less is more!!

I did NC and now she’s moving to Hawaii. Dope.

Coach or viewers. if my ex reached out, it would be very difficult for me to respond nicely or at all, unless they apologised for walking out of my life and refusing to give answers and the disrespect toward me. I don’t expect to shake hands and walk away, but her behaviour post break up really took away any motive to even speak to her. I don’t think they deserve our effort to re-attract them if they use a break up as a hall pass, we speak asif our ex’s can do whatever they want and they have to rebuild and re-attract them regardless of their lack of effort. Unless you seriously deserved it, but in most cases, their actions post break up balanced it out, and now do not feel very positive towards her, and I believe if they don’t return the efforts and interest, then kill the conversation and move on. I can say it’s mostly women who think we have to bend a knee to them and they aren’t replaceable, well they very much are, and it’s off putting when they ignore you and act like a snobs. If anyone neglects you, and isn’t willing to fight for a relationship with you, then piss them out your life. Intelligence and loyalty is what’s important from both people.

I kid you not. Was just watching this video. No contact from my ex for two weeks. Just clicked into Facebook Messenger and I have a message from her... Not sure how to respond. Going to leave it while I think. I was extremely hurt by the break-up. I'm doing Ok now. Getting my life on track and working on me. Not sure how I feel about things going forward.

I did the opposite and was stone cold. Didn’t mean to be but I’m still healing. She pointed it out « you can’t find colder than that. You know you don’t have to be that cold but anyway »

Coach Kenneth was brutal!lol

After telling me that she never wanted to see me again, after she told me to never contact her family again and after destroying my clothing, my ex called me 6 nights later. Its been 5 days since I missed the call and I have yet to return her call. Thoughts?

So, my ex blocked me. and then unblocked me cause I was curious one day and looked him up and he had unblocked me. I decided hell what do I got to lose so I added him back on social media. Anyways we made contact and I finally asked why he unblocked me he said “just seeing how you’re doing” what does that mean?

my ex reached out on day 96 and 106. On day 96 she sent me a text saying " how have you been?" i responded after a few hours and she didnt say anything after that. On day 106 she reached out again and ask to talk on the phone. We dated for 4 years and we broke up during the pandemic.. I thought we would get back as she mentioned she misses me and she remembered the good times. I'm ready to go back in no contact for a second time. To be honest, It doesn't matter if she calls me or she doesn't. Im ready to move out and live my life. :) Please listen to Craig, he is the best coach ever!!

Should I take my Ex reaching out about a loose end update (Transferring responsibility of the internet bill) as an opportunity to ask how she is? She is seeing a guy she lined up prior to breakup (1 month ago) Should I just say "Okay, thanks for the update. I trust you will take care of it" or try to ask about how she is doing in some way?

16:26 legit made me laugh out loud 😂

Seeing the ladies responses to this video in the comments before watching it makes me feel this is the worth the 20 minute investment watching this

I can’t imagine people are waiting for other people to text... what happened to moving on with your life ?

Me and my ex boyfriend had the break up in July. On Saturday we met each other again for the first time since the break up. Since then he didnt text me again.. what does it mean? Is it a bad sign? Should I text him?

You kill me this video brother ! 😂😂😂😂🤦‍♂️

I have the videos on 1.75x playback speed and when the part at 18.40 came on it was so funny. The way he spoke so fast it was just like a cartoon or a true comedian 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Wait - he was invited to her party and DID NOT ATTEND ??? I can't believe it

My ex broke up with me then ghosted me for 3 months. She reached out and I messed it up by asking her to meet for lunch to chat. She never replied. Will she give it some more time and try again or was that the only opportunity to connect?

My ex of now almost 4 months reached out a couple of times sending me funny memes and then asking me how to say certain words in my language because he is learning Spanish and Portuguese. He also asked if I wanted my stuff back , he Knew I was up near where he lives and asked if I wanted to meet up to grab my stuff . I couldn’t do it so I waited to respond and then told him I was already at home so he said maybe another day. Yest he sends me a random funny meme I responded with meow ... it was a cat meme. Well he opened the snap and didint say anything else. What is he doing here I’m so confused I don’t have hope but then I do. I don’t know how to feel. I’m trying not to overthink this stuff because I easily can. Any advice??

Once someone walks away you should never reach out to them ever again. Let them do all the contacting. If they reach out to you assume they want to get together and make a date at your place for dinner. If they won’t make a date at your place for dinner tell them you can do it another time. If they won’t make plans after they initiate contact twice in a row then you must stop asking them and let them bring it up. If you start dating them again set one date per week and let them do all the contacting. Use their contacts after you start dating as additional opportunities to set dates.

This guy is hopelessly selfish and self-centered and she'd be better off blocking him. All he is focused on is himself and his own feelings. He obviously hasn't used the no contact time wisely to self-reflect on his part in the failure of their relationship and the changes he needed to make in himself to be a better partner, should he get a second chance. He isn't ready for a relationship with that girl or any other right now. I empathize with his pain, but he should leave her alone because he'd only make her miserable again and should work on himself and own his selfishness and fix himself first.

I got ambushed on a private number I wasnt expecting it I got emotional because I was angry he has a new girlfriend after 3 months of us splitting up we were together almost 7 years and engaged I had been in no contact for 3 weeks.. absolute disaster pls help :(

What if they message two days later and the breakup wasn't bad but not mutual?

Listening to these texts are cringe worthy.

What about when i have been in no contact for over 3 months working on myself, and she reaches out asking some random thing about a story she saw with my baby brother in it, then 2 weeks later again reaches out asking about how my family back home is, as there are some problems in my area in my country. I replied to both respectfully and to the point, i didn't freak out or act overly excited. However, the conversation died out, now i feel like shit waiting for the next time she messages, i have so much urge to reach out to her and ask to meet up but I am terrified it will push her back, I feel I am stuck and i do not know what to do. Please someone advise me.