I Bought the World's Brightest Flashlight 

Unus Annus: *dies* Mark: “Fine... i’ll do it myself”

The mental image of Amy just walking by the door to that closet and a huge beam of light shining through the cracks, like a God manifesting inside, is amazing.

this is nothing compared to when my mom wakes me up by turning the light on at 7 am

In case anyone's reading this two years later, when t hings like flashlights say they're "explosion proof" that doesn't mean the flashlight won't be damaged by explosions, it means the flashlight is designed to not present any sparks or hot spots that could ignite explosive vapors or something. It won't *cause* an explosion.

"I'm not going to look in it" the ONE masochistic brain cell: but what if you did the other brain cells: well dammit

The Four Hoursemen of Mark’s Belongings: Tactical Shovel World’s Brightest Flashlight Bed Knife The 5 Ovens

Fun fact: A nice clear, sunny day is roughly 10,000 Lumens per square meter. Mark could literally light up the daytime by 10x

The first time I watched this I had no idea that "the vvitch" was a horror movie thing, and just accepted it as Mark being Mark

*Mark's got all this Unus Annus energy, but no Unus Annus to spend it on.*

POV: Your kidnapper rants about cereal while trying to give himself a seizure with a high-power flashlight

Can we just appreciate the fact he spent almost over 600 dollars worth of flashlights and shined them in his eyes for our entertainment

When the lights are out, Mark would be that kind of guy who would just find flashlights lying around in his house. You know, like a horror game protagonist

Mark: I'm not trying to blind myself because I'm a masochist, I just wanna know how much my eyes can take

Mark: “I don’t have time” Mark: *remembers this isn’t unus annus* Mark: “actually I have all the time in the world”

25:00 “It smells like something burning…” Yea dude, it’s your retinas

Mark: This flashlight is not ment to be shone at any human ever. Also Mark: Points the flashlight directly at the camera

is this withdrawal

This really looks like Amy went out for the day, Mark went insane and brought a bunch of flashlights and reviewed them in his closet

mark just pausing the rant about flashlights to talk about shrinkflation is the funniest thing ever

23:00 THE CHOIR KICKING IN JUST HAD ME DEAD RIGHT THERE

Mark isn't a masochist. He just wants to see how much light his eyes can take before they absorb the sun itself

guys don’t worry, he’s not a masochist, he just wants to see how much light his eyes can handle

Mark's line "I've got all the time in the world, but I don't have the sanity for it, and I do NOT have a lot of that to spare." is my whole life in a nutshell.

The fact this dropped almost immediately after Unus Annus was deleted, it felt good but saddening at the same time as it feels like Unus Annus, but then you want to go back, but in the end, we're left with naught, but the memories we made along the way

Other youtubers: *flexing their next gen consoles* Mark: *flexing his $500 flashlight*

“Unus annus is gone” Mark:it’s free real estate.

Just so y'all know, Imalent now has an even more powerful model of flashlight that goes up to 120k lumens now, the SR32.

I want the Tame the Sun flashlight as an upgrade in a horror game. You click it on and hear the fan whirring and the game just gets a normal lighting engine that makes everything normal, like the sun came up, and all the enemies flinch when you get close to them.

This is 100% a solo Unus Annus. So, just Annus playing alone in the dark.

"Annusly" I've never heard that word before, but it sounds familiar

The replaceable batteries might actually be better in a survival environment because you can’t recharge anything in the wild. As long as you put some batteries in your survival kit you’ll be set

Once mark said “ resealable batteries what a concept, they stole technology from Oreos.” 9:49

"Dont try this at home!" *cries in Disclaimer song and every Unus Annus video*

i'm so used to amy being behind the camera and kept thinking he's just blinding her with every flashlight

The gates of heaven just opened for a second 23:01

Remember, white paper likes to reflect the light, so it won't convert the light to heat as well. I bet it you touched the paper to the light's glass you would see results though

There has to be the most powerful tactical flashlight out there somewhere.

Unus annus ends: Mark: “SO I BOUGHT THESE FLASH LIGHTS DONT ASK WHY JUST WATCH!!”

9:19 G U R T H

" Even though we have an infinite amout of choices in our lives there are only a handful that matter." -Markiplier This choice to shine bright light in his eyes was important.

POV: Mark’s kidnapped you and is showing you all his flashlights he bought.

He's not a masochist, guys. He just wants to see how much light his eyes can handle.

23:04 fun fact they’re the flashing you see is actually the infrared laser scanning his face also known as facial, scanning to unlock your phone

18:22 if only mark had said "hey what's that thing in the water?" "it's disappointment"

Mark's NOT a masochist, he just wants to see how much his retinas can handle.

"Unnus Annus has ended" Markiplier, trying to cope:

Everytime he place the flashlights at his face he becomes faceless

I wish I said this 3 years ago when I first watched this. He should attach the 100,000 lumen flashlight to the tactical shovel, to have ultimate tactical tool.

Unus Annus: *Ends* Mark: *realizes he has another RU-vid channel* Mark: buys world's brightest flashlight due to Unus Annus withdrawls.

mark: "i'm not gonna look in it..." *the masochist part of him hesitates*

Mark: Look at this uhhh....circle Me: Yes Mark. A circle. Is it round? Mark: No. The round circle is not round *The More You Know*

Mark: * Wears four sunglasses over each other and looks directly into a flashlight * "I'm not a flashlight expert."

Eef in the distance: Hey now don’t try this at home...

imagine trying to get a midnight snack then all of a sudden the entire house lights up and mark is just there with 7 pairs of sunglasses

Mark: scaling large flashlights Me: pulls out penlight

Mark: I’m not a flashlight expert. Lixian in the bottom right corner: Clearly

Mark: "Don't try this at home by the way" War flashbacks: "Hey now don't try this..."

Scientists: we are gonna measure light with scientifically accurate lumens Mark: hold my sunglasses

13:00 No, whoever's selling that thing stores souls in it.

Mark, I have an idea for you to truly test how powerful these flashlights are. There is a paint called “The Blackest Black paint in the world”, it’s a super matte black that absorbs 99% of visible light. You could get a 2 for 1 video made by painting a room with the paint and testing the flashlights in there. You can see if the black stays matte (no shine) and you can test to see if the flashlights would light up the room. Just an idea.

" smell something burning" Yeah Mark, it's called your retinas.

Someone: "Aw man, I dropped my quarter, you got a flashlight so I can find it?" Mark: "How's a piece of the sun?"

Everytime I come back to this video, I get the idea of someone making a video game revolving around survival with flashlights. Like, you're trapped in a dungeon being guarded by some sort of terrifying monster, and to get out you have to gather different flashlights left behind by past prisoners, each a little different in what they can do. You start with your phone flashlight, than slowly find a long one that can be used to attack, a small one that shine brighter than that one, and one that extend so you can get a better look at something, as well as target light directly onto enemies. Maybe even one that can shine out S.O.S. The place could be filled with different puzzles requiring different types of light to be used. Same goes for enemies. You can beat the final boss with just all those flashlights you found and win, but there is a way to make the fight easier. You have to go into the toughest part of the game to find the 100,000k flashlight, which absolutely DECIMATES the final boss.

We need to see an epic battle between the Vvitch and Wilford Warfstache.

“don’t try this at home” me quietly: _hey now, don’t try this at home..._

Everyone: sad because Unus Annus ended Mark: “Welcome to my flashlight review”

I wonder if it would make a noticeable difference if you turned all the other flashlights on too while at 100,000. It seems like they were all around the 5-15k lumen range so you're looking at maybe an extra 50-60k lumens?

These flashlights can really blind the hell out of Freddy and the rest of the animatronics 💀

imagine a burglar opening the door and seeing Mark sitting in the dark corner, talking to himself and ranting about cereals and flashlights.

Mark: "don't try this at home by the way" Me sadly: "hey now don't try it"

Two years later and my favorite Markiplier line is still “Look at this uh… *CiRcLe.”*

4:52 discord light mode be like

POV: You are Unus’s dead body and Annus is going mad talking about a “vvitch” and blinding you with several flashlights because it was a dead channel’s rejected video idea

Even Mark is having a hard time trying to let go of Unus Annus.

And to think, a year later _the Corridor Crew_ would perform this same test with their lights on the same test subject, and then go on to have that same test subject turned intern build an actual lightsaber. I think we need to update his SCP entry to include clairvoyance or some kind of reality manipulation.

0:12 a game theory

Mark: “I’m not gonna look in it” Also Mark’s face: ᵂᵃⁱᵗ ᵗʰᵃᵗ’ˢ ᵃ ᵍᵒᵒᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ *then proceeds to do it*

alternate title: Markiplier GENUINELY reviewing flashlights for 25 minutes

7:20 this entire sequence of events has me rolling with laughter

At 1:58 you can see the Infrared facial recognition light from his phone.

Amy watching from outside wondering why the closet holds heaven itself:

me: *still grieving over unus annus* mark: “i’m going to be rating flashlights today and shining them into my eyes”

Everyone has a comfort video this is my comfort video idk why but I always come to this video when I want to chill and feel warm imside

props to lixian his editing never gets old good hunor 👍

Amy just walking by until she sees heaven coming out of a closet

Unus Annus: *ends* Mark: “It’s Evolving-“

5:15 I M A L E N T

All of the unintentional innuendos or me having a dirty mind I can't

Mark: Playing around with flashlights Unus Annus: Playing around with fleshlights

Alternative Title: "Rejected Unus Annus Ideas Because They Are Too Dangerous"

8:29 the shadow of his hand on the wall is so funny to me 😭

I can’t be the only who has rewatched this video so many times because it’s that funny and entertaining to watch right?

"It can get longer! It can go *_e r e c t !"_* yes, this man is talking about a flashlight.

The tame the sun flashlight lowkey could be a good house defense weapon, why hide when you can blind them making them not be able to see you. Why have a gun when they might have a gun too, blind them so they can't shoot you and then you can shoot them. Also it won't upright kill them, maybe just cause massive eye damage but you successfully defend yourself in probably the safest way possible other than hiding and praying to god you don't get found.

I love how he reviews things like each thing he is reviewing is something he made

If the kid in Fnaf 4 had this, he could be invincible.

Neighbors: *Trying to sleep* Mark: TASTE THE SUN

"still pretty bright i can't look at it directly or else it'll put holes in my rentas" **proceeds to continue looking at it**

The first light you tried also extends for a brighter beam. You might want to try it. It's a hell of a lot brighter.

Unus Annus: Ends Mark: Well yes, but actually no.